NARCISSISTIC PARENTS 😔 CREATE SELF LOATHING CHILDREN -- STOP HATING YOURSELF

you Namaste, everybody, I bow to the love and the light that's absolutely in you and today I wanted to address a youtube comment that is on my video what video is it podcast awakening from the sleeping mind our path to enlightenment and it is writtend by Blondie Lynde and she posted these comments a a couple of weeks ago and she writes" I believe sometimes that I hate myself I know it's just a thought and we aren't our thoughts but when I challenge that thought my brain is ready with so many answers so many reasons why I'm not enough so many ways I fall short of what I've been taught in perfection my mind is heavy with this all the time I'm in a constant state of self-loathing I'm going to keep following your work Lisa and see where it leads me I know I have enough love for myself somewhere down deep to push on because I too made the choice not to kill myself at 12 years old" So I wanted to address Blonde's comments and I really hope Blonde you see this you see this video so when she says I believe sometimes that I hate myself if we if you believe that you hate yourself, hear what I'm saying blondie land and everybody else out there I'm wearing really dark jeans today I just noticed my hands like getting dark from the dye so if you guys want to know what the hell that is that's why so dear one if you're saying that that I believe sometimes that I hate myself what we have to recognize is that there is a belief there and a belief is really running the ship so no matter what we think in our conscious mind the belief is always going to win out because the belief is a product of what's been planted in the subconscious mind and the subconscious mind has now assumed to be true now remember dear ones the subconscious mind only accepts information and never rejects information so if you consistently like I talked about my 12-week break the coaching program it's through repetition observation and consistency a child continues to feel on seeing and invalidated this create grooves in the end a child thinking minds and subconscious mind and these patterns get ingrained in the child subconscious mind and when it becomes the belief it's like a 500 year old rooted tree it's it's in there and so the healing that you have to do blonde Yulin is subconscious as well as conscious if you're just going to attack this thought on the conscious realm you're not going to win because when it comes to a thought over belief the belief is always going to win out so that's why I believe we have got to start moving into in terms of therapy we're going to have to start moving into the subconscious realm because talking about our beliefs is not going to change our beliefs and that is not awful that's just not our fault so we have to be a little bit more open when we approach our own healing right and our own recovery and I do think that we have to be more proactive and so many of you are so many of you who write me on youtube or write you privately come through one of my coaching programs you say to me Lisa you know I've been around the block with therapists and you know I learned more on YouTube about myself or my situation than I have in 20 years of therapy good for you do one that's freaking awesome because even though even my therapist who is brilliant told me you're codependent will actually depress but too depressed because you coach Bennett he could have done it because he loved to unrecovered ill children alcohol is raving you who don't even realize that their childhoods were terribly traumatic because of the way they were raised my parents thought because they didn't drink everything was cool and because they didn't get drunk everything was cool you know my parents didn't understand that we needed to feel seen we were robots as children we were soldiers which is not natural for a child a child is limbic they are all emotional they're supposed to they are mind body and soul and when you frighten the child to the point where that kid has to suppress their natural instinct to be a child you have forced a child into a state of survival and that fucks them up plain English fine English fuck them up so we've got to become more confident as parents if we're going to have children we have to take you very very seriously we've got to know what these babies need we've got to be willing to check ourselves we've got to be mature enough to understand what they need we've got to put our child's needs above our needs so we've got to be in check emotionally so um blondie Lynne I believe sometimes that I hate myself so understand you got a challenge that belief and the reality is dear one you are enough no matter what this belief says you are enough just because you hear it doesn't believe don't don't doesn't make it so I know it's just thought and we aren't our thoughts but when I challenge that thought you're challenging it consciously they need a lot you got it you got to go deeper than that dear one my brain is ready with so many answers now the brain is a product now the brain is organic and it has certain defense mechanisms like pain versus pleasure that's not our fault that's part of the primitive brain right and you said that my brain is ready with so many answers or rebuttals because you have cognitive dissonance right this is where this comes into cognitive dissonance comes into play so when you have a thought in the mental field which is the conscious field Oh enough please say Romano says them enough I gotta be enough his book or I didn't ask to be born I was innocent when I was getting programmed to hate myself it's all my fault you get that consciously but unconsciously if you have a belief running in the background that mommy and daddy sister and brother priest rabbi whoever teacher Monsignor whatever whatever older brother uncle and whoever whoever foster mother adopted mother whoever whoever was your caretaker and person that you looked up to and thought was needs already realized if you have consistently gotten the message that you are not enough then that thought that thought in a conscious realm created a feeling which got downloaded into the subconscious realm and now bingo you have a belief in the subconscious mind so you now have cognition and dr1 it's not your fault your brain is actually doing what it was designed to do so you said my brain is ready with so many answers of course it is so many reasons why I'm not enough many reasons why Apple short of what I've been taught is perfection so you've been taught to seek perfection which is means you were never given validation by the people who raised you right probably because they want to keep you on the hook probably because they treated their children like little circus poodles you know like yeah maybe if you do this maybe this again eh I'll pat you on the back and say good job maybe if you lose a couple of pounds and you're the prom queen and king or whatever I'll you know I'll say good job maybe if you you know become a fireman or an attorney or a doctor maybe then I'll say good job so you say that my mind is heavy with this all the time of course it is I'm in a constant state of self-loathing okay I'm going to keep following your work and see where it leads me okay I know I have enough love for myself somewhere down deep to push on because I too made the choice not to kill myself at 12 years old okay so Ron Yulin this is my this is my theory right so you know people who have imagined being born blind and you suddenly are healed and you now can see you more than a sighted person who's always had sight it's going to appreciate the Sun the Moon the Stars the oceans bubble bees dragonflies butterflies you can appreciate more because you want to soothe the darkness of it if you were a child who came from a home that was purely neglectful and you never had an ice cream sundae and all of a sudden you're 12 years old you're invited to a party and you are given an ice cream sundae now the room was full of kids who had ice cream sundaes once a week or every other day one of my dream Sunday's of just part of the norm you are going to enjoy that ice cream sundae a lot more than a little kids there who have had ice cream sundaes throughout their lifetime so it is the lack and a contrast of the lack to that which you have now received which creates appreciation in you and gratitude in you because you have known the lack of this thing it's the same thing with the recovery journey when you haven't been abused which you have been even if your house was perfect if you were raised by perfectionistic parents if you were raised by people who you know we're very professional and intelligence and they wanted their children to be the same and you should just achieve achieve achieve achieve and you felt unseen that's abusive right because you're not getting the type of authentic heart-to-heart connection from your parents that you need to really develop you know on a natural timeline and you know you end up being self actualized very naturally because you've had this experience of being seen by another that that had conveyed to you that you are enough you know in order for you to love the self you have to experience being loved by someone else first that is the truth that's the truth that's a truism and you like me like so many of us who follow my work when my coaching programs read my books whatever those of us on this path have learned that we have to somehow override our our psychological attempts at validation which is we are designed and driven to do we've got to override this and love ourselves in spite of not experiencing love from another we have to learn how to do that and once we learn how to do that that's when our reality begins to shift right so those of us on this path who have known great lack lack of love lack of connection lack of authenticity lack of integration lack of feeling seen by another human being those of us who have known desperation who have been so programmed to seek the validation of other people who have attracted narcissistic people into our lives and their flying monkeys and we have been gasps biding our entire lives that we don't even we have any realize it and we're just starting to wake up and we want to be free of it but we're stuck in it and now we're afraid to rock the boat and we're afraid to make that first step and oh my god so terrifying to tell this narcissist I want nothing to do with him or I want nothing to do with her holy crap it is terrifying terrifying so those of us who have experienced these experiences we know the darkness we know the darkness but I will tell you what we're just like that kid experiencing that ice cream sundae for the first time when we for the first time learn to honor the self and decide to set a boundary or we delete that text message from by that narc when we walk away from that narcissist to try to bait us into a conversation and arguments when we go no contact or we go minimal contact or we don't react to the dog that we live with we just let them be we just pull our energy from their situations in this situation what we begin to do those types of things we increase our vibration because we're finally holding on to our own energy and we begin to understand what it's like to walk in the light we have to start somewhere dear one this is an action based universe so execution is everything so to know something to have an idea and then to not execute that idea in an action based universe because we are action beings right we are spirits and we have this physical body that acts that moves our muscles contracts we move through this thing that we think is space and time so this is an action based universe we have to act on this knowledge that we are receiving and achieving and gain it with the act on it and sometimes the action is in action meaning that you know someone from my 12-week breakthrough coaching program just posted a post in our secret Facebook page and she said that she's so proud of herself because she has no contact with her dog but she's got to work with him and she received a text message from him and he baited her into he was a lovely text message and e-juice sisters he bade in her right so the first text message is usually loving because he wants to beat you in and as soon as she started to engage that's when he started to like vomit all over her right classic classic you ignore me you ignore an arc long enough they come they come running back and they try to engage but it's really they just want you to they want to get their foot in the door and they want the opportunity to black mom and all of you and if you feel like crap again that's my goal so you know the fact that you're feeling more powerful in an arc they don't like that they got to pull you down and they find ways to do it so the first time you delete that text message you hope that's an Annette well it looks actually it's moment in action that's acting out you're actually acting on that once you feel you're making or deleting the text message but sometimes what we have to do is just not engage sometimes you know we've got to walk away I remember when I was working in a Wellness Center and it was it was really very soon after my ex-husband I broke up and we were living separately and we lived in a really small town and everybody gossip totally crap it was like not slamming dating myself and dynasty and here I was you know in the locker room and these two older women who were friends with my ex-mother-in-law began talking about me like a whiz Lyon there and I just remember saying to myself to myself at these women are deliberately talking this smack about me like this this is so I would I don't think I would never do that to somebody like that is just obnoxious nobody should throw stones because we've all made mistakes anyway I just turned around and I said to lay this is good day ladies I said you know everything that you just said is actually a falsehood I said I'm not going really debate this with you but like have a good day and I walked out um there were other times where people said things to man accused me of things that went on a divorce that didn't go on divorce they were just trying to justify why we were getting divorced and there were times it's just like strict my head you know in my head was like that ain't true you know and I walked away but every time we do that we're holding on to in life and we're learning to love ourselves so fear one fear blondie Lin oh eight or zero eight your mind is heavy with this all the time dear one and I can totally relate to you and so many all of us can write so shout out please YouTube viewers please shout out to blondie Lin and encourage her to hang on and to confront the belief she's got a direct to her thought process a fuller focus towards that belief to challenge that belief when that belief comes up like I'm no good you have to immediately go to know I am good I was programmed not to believe I was good but I am good all day every day consistently consistently post a note below the house understanding that on an innate level you are devotee or Divine Being and you were innocent and you were your mind was corrupted and this ain't your fault so dear one I believe in you I encourage you and I and I ask that YouTube YouTube viewers out there in love and light let's send blondie Lin some love she is one of us we are all on the State House and that's towards emotional evolution the evolution of our consciousness and we are all on the path to enlightenment we're all here to discover that we are enough in spite of what we have experienced in our childhood homes in spite of the programming we are enough we can rise up as a subconscious mind we can give birth three births to ourselves we can actually become reborn in our own concept itself we can learn to believe that we are the love that we are the life we are the light we are our own light there is a light within you doing at our subatomic or we are all light it is true you are light and the more enlightened you become the more you light up right where you are the more you help your children the more you help your co-workers just by being a brighter light about a being who doesn't really care about people say about her anymore I think it's amazing tremendous so you are the light dear one you are the light got to confront the dark blond demon namaste I bow to love and lies it is absolutely in your dear one and I know that you can do this stick to this work get to do in my meditations twice a day I suggest one in the morning and when I got plenty of them on youtube and also on insight timer and also dowon's I will be in New York Long Island every 25th you can go to my website and purchase tickets through that way I will also be in New Jersey Marsh way six we're selling tickets at the door bring exact change give a girl a break on that informations also my website and my next coaching program launches June 1st hope you get in on that and my master's program which is all going to be about manifesting abundance manifesting love maintaining your vibrations that should be that should be ready I would probably say within the next two months or so I'll be ready to rock and roll with that you guys can get in on that too now I'm going to everybody about the love the life that is absolutely in you bye

Channel: Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc.

Views: 85,882

Rating: 4.9222999 out of 5

Keywords: narcissistic mother, narcissistic abuse, narcissim, narcissistic abuse recovery, release limiting beliefs, narcissistic parent, codependency recovery, codependent narcissist, self hate, narcissism, narcissistic discard, self hatred, stop hating yourself, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic, narcissistic rage, narcissistic relationship, codependent no more, self loathing

Id: l0o6hAsFCh4

Length: 19min 8sec (1148 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 08 2017