My Wife Gave Birth To A Biracial Baby That Isn't Mine

my wife gave birth to a biracial baby that clearly isn't mine and i'm divorcing her but i'm worried about the relationship between my two kids and their new half-sister a month ago my wife gave birth to a black baby girl we are both white so she was forced to admit that the child was a result of a one-night stand last year i've started divorce proceedings although we are still living together for now between our two boys age two and four i've had paternity tests for them and they came back positive her infant daughter and her having lost her job due to covid living together as amicably as possible until the divorce is settled is an unfortunate necessity naturally i have no el will towards the baby and i've been disgusted by some of the comments i've heard from family members friends co-workers and others all who seem to be fixated on the racial angle of this as if the most salient part of this isn't that my wife cheated but that she cheated with a black man and that the baby is black what worries me is that my two sons might pick up on these narratives they are too young to understand what's happening now but i'm worried that as they grow to understand the situation that they might grow to resent their half-sister for breaking up their parents marriage and worse than their resentment might express itself in a racist fashion under the influence of the aforementioned racist narratives any thoughts on how i should try to influence my sons away from that perspective it probably doesn't help that we live in a suburb with very few black people and their half-sister is the only black person my children know update my wife gave birth to a biracial baby that clearly isn't mine and i'm divorcing her but i'm worried about the relationship between my two kids and their new half-sister the big takeaway for me was that if i'd need to lead by example here not excluding her in any way because of her paternity so that she and my sons would see her as a full member of the family also that i need to be more active in confronting the bigoted and ignorant nonsense i've been hearing and teach my sons to do the same to protect their sister i've spoken to some of those responsible since and made clear my feelings on this and that she is to be treated as a member family and that if i ever find out that they've said things like that to my sons or their sister that they won't be allowed around us anymore i've spoken to my wife about this and we are more or less on the same page she's been begging me to forgive her and not go through the divorce but that's not going to happen even if i didn't consider the cheating and forgivable i just don't feel any love for her anymore other than a platonic affection for her as the mother of my children my sons are handling this as well as can be expected the four-year-old doesn't fully understand but is upset by the change in the household thankfully he's easily distracted the two-year-old is thankfully too young to comprehend what's going on but has picked up on how withdrawn his mother has become they are both fascinated with their new little sister so there's that silver lining my wife on the other hand isn't in good shape at all she was depressed even before the birth and now with everything our divorce her infidelity being revealed and the backlash from family and friends postpartum depression and the exhaustion from raising an infant she's barely functional she's seeing a therapist and i've been pressuring some of our family and friends to be supportive of her because even if they think she deserves it her current state is making it harder for me and our children it's become very obvious to me that even after the divorce is finalized we are going to have to live together for a while longer she's in no shape to be taking care of three kids without someone else around to support her and i'm not willing to deprive her of her sons by seeking soul custody it's also too difficult financially since she's lost her job because of covid as for the baby girl she's healthy and fairly easy by baby standards since i've been helping care for her i've bonded with her and i've discussed the possibility of adopting her with my wife she can't contact the father as the only thing she knows about him is his first name and given our co-parenting situation it feels like adopting her as my daughter would be the best outcome for all involved however there's been a wrench thrown in that plan it was brought to my attention that there may be a way of finding the baby's father namely by having her dna tested by ancestry dna if the father or one of his relatives has also taken the test we may be able to find him through their dna match database if i'm being completely honest i'm not happy about this i've already started to think of the baby girl as my daughter and having him in our lives would massively complicate the family dynamic plus we live in seattle and she met him in philadelphia so god knows how they'd even make it work if he wanted to be the kid's father however i recognize that this is a selfish reaction if we have a chance of finding her biological father we owe it to her do so if only so that she has access to her paternal medical history and so that she can have a relationship with him if and when she chooses to do so i've read a few accounts by children raised by non-biological parents and the common thread is their desire to meet their lost biological parent so that's that we've ordered an ancestry dna kit for her and i guess we'll decide our next steps once we get the results back in a couple of months my 40 male ex-wife 40 female wants me to be with her in her last days backstory i met my ex when we were both 10 she was it's my twin sister's best friend so we've always been kind of a trio growing up we started dating at 14 and got married at 23. the thing got ugly though cause five years after getting married she told me she had a month-long affair with her co-worker apparently the guilt was too much for her so she confessed we tried to work through it but after a few months of trying i knew that despite the fact that i loved her i couldn't trust her anymore she told me she still loved me and that she'd wait for me and prove that i was the only one i wanted to believe her but you know some things just can't be fixed we never had kids three years after the divorce i met my now wife 38 f and we got married two years after dating she's everything i could ever dream of in a wife and more my ex as my sister told me they are still besties never really recovered she quit her job and is now working in a church throughout my relationship with my wife she kept trying to get back together and on the day of my wedding she told me she still loved me and would love no one else she said this was the last time she would bother me but that she'll wait for however long it took apparently she's honest in that regard at least cause my sister says she's never been with anyone since so here's what happened recently my wife and i married for seven years now have two kids seven female and three male my sister came over with her own kids so the cousins could play while my wife was out to pick up lunch my sister sat me down and told me the situation about my ex apparently she only has less than six months to live she refused treatment and wants to live the last few months to the fullest i guess that's why she and my sister went out of their way to travel despite the pandemic one thing on her bucket list though was that she wanted to feel like my wife again no lovemaking no kissing she just wanted me to be around the house she still lives in the house we lived in again and maybe hold her from time to time i told her i wouldn't do that course that was pretty much emotionally cheating my sister kept arguing and begging me to at least see her and hear her out we kept arguing no screaming the kids were in the next room with her older daughter until my wife came back my sister told her the whole story and while she looked upset she said she understood where my ex was coming from when my sister left my wife and i talked about it my wife knows everything that happened in the past with my ex she says while she isn't thrilled about the idea she won't get upset if i decided to see her on a regular basis my wife is the best thing that ever happened to me and i love her more than anyone she makes me happier than i've ever been in my life even in the good times with my ex she knows i won't cheat i also have zero romantic feelings for my ex so there's nothing lingering there i don't hate her or anything it's just that the love i had for her has long since died after thinking about it for a while i'm honestly 50 over 50 about it i know i don't owe her anything but i feel like i might regret not seeing her at least one more time since the last time i saw her was on my wedding day and that wasn't a good encounter for either of us i honestly feel like despite what she did she still deserves to go with some peace on the other hand i'm not entirely sure if this might potentially affect our marriage my wife says she's okay with it and i believe her but i just can't be sure that she'll feel the same way after it happens i don't want anything to jeopardize what i have right now no matter what i'm not too thrilled about going myself to be honest any advice what should i do edit just one or add that if ever i do this i won't be acting like a husband or anything inappropriate like that just gonna see her and talk for a bit my sister says that me just being there and sharing a meal with her would be more than enough for her to feel like we were married again update my 40 male ex-wife 40 female wants me to be with her in her last days it's been almost three weeks since i've posted and a lot has happened since i got some solid advice from a lot of you guys especially some who messaged me with their personal experiences i'd like to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart so here's what happened as many of you guys suggested i talked to my wife we had a long discussion about the whole situation and i assured her that no matter what she is and always will be my first priority i also assured her that while i wanted to say my goodbye i would never act like her husband it would be more like me seeing a childhood friend or something like that i also told her i would never spend the night nor would i be alone with her she was more comfortable after rudd talk and was pretty okay with the idea of me seeing my ex again as you guys guessed she felt like she was forced into being okay with it when my sister asked but this time she really was okay so i talked to my sister and after a long long heated discussion about what my role would be in the visit she agreed to the boundaries my wife and i said a week later my sister and i came over to our old marital home it was a surreal cause while the emotions from years before came back to me i didn't feel any sadness nor hatred or anything negative i saw my ex who was waiting for us in the living room and she cried when i walked in most of you suggested she was faking it but while she was still strong you could tell almost immediately something was wrong with her i indulged her with a hug and we talked for a few hours while my sister made lunch i showed her pictures of my kids and told her stories about what they are like honestly i didn't know how i would react after i saw her again but it just feels like seeing an old friend you haven't seen in a long time there was no hate or anything like that i walked around the house and it was pretty much the way it was when i left over a decade ago i'm not really sure how i feel about our wedding photos still framed and pictures of us still all over the house but it wasn't really my place to say anything the three of us had lunch and played board games all afternoon it honestly felt like we were back to when we were kids and the three of us would hang out together it was nice i left it around six she was sad but she understood when i hugged her goodbye she whispered i love you to me but then said how she's happy i was able to find the happiness she couldn't give me that part got to me to be honest and i was fighting back tears i told her i'd see her again soon and she asked if i could bring my kids next time i told her i would and left to pick up dinner for my family i told my wife everything that happened and she was quite happy about the outcome i guess it helped that i brought home her favorite food but she also agreed to let me bring the kids next time overall it was a great experience seeing her again i feel like i needed that and world regretted not doing so again i'd like to thank everyone who gave me advice also please don't roast my ex too much she made a mistake and paid the price but it doesn't mean schneevel person my fiance's ex sent me their love making tapes and i made the terrible mistake of watching it my fiance 27 male and i 29 female just got engaged a week ago i proposed to him when i heard from our friends that he was sad that his proposal plans were ruined by kovit we have been very happy this past week i guess this caught the attention of his bitter ex 28 female she contacted me on social media and sent me a few videos and said that even though i may be marrying him i would never be able to satisfy him sexually the way she did for some background early on in our relationship i was a bit insecure about this ex especially how attractive she was but my fiance assured me that he would never ever consider being with her again because she was abusive and used to force him into things he did not like i soon grew out of these insecurities because my fiance was an amazing boyfriend and always made me feel loved and very secure but the ex's message brought back all these insecurities and i decided to watch the videos she sent it was a huge mistake i have never seen my fiance so passionate slash vocal during making love with me she even had a video of her giving him a bj in a public place i never knew he was into all that stuff i got really upset and decided to check if he had kept any of these videos on his phone turns out he hadn't kept any of them but i found out messages discussing them with his best friend sarah apparently his ex had sent these tapes to him as well to remind him how good it was between them he had deleted them right away and blocked her but was debating whether or not to tell me about this and thus asked saras advice the conversation somehow turned into sarah asking who was better sexually my fiance tried to evade the question but she pressed the issue for some reason it looked like she was teasing him and was being playful but after a while he got mad and sent her a mini rant the important gist of it was basically this if you look at it from a purely physical perspective then yeah x was better she was more my type physically and sexually she was very aggressive and passionate and always took the initiative which i liked and she gave one hell of a bj but she was also abusive and towards the end she started using lovemaking as a tool and instead of feeling loved it became a desperate attempt for me to connect with her lovemaking with opie made me realize that lovemaking was not just about the physical aspect i feel loved and secure and happy when i'm with her even if she is less my type compared to x the emotional connection means that the lovemaking is automatically great although the second half of his rant somehow saves it i still feel hurt by his admission that making love was better with her he did tell me that he liked me being aggressive and taking initiative and i do try to be more like that but once things start happening i end up becoming more passive and let him take the lead i know i can try being more aggressive but i'm afraid i can never be as good as she and i can never be the kind of girl that can give public bjs now i wonder if he settled for me despite not enjoying love making as much with me logically i know i don't have to be the best at everything for my fiance but it hurts because he is the best boyfriend i have ever had in all aspects that i can think of and i always thought our love life was amazing now i feel like i just got lucky because i was the first person he dated after that abusive piece of garbage in the bar was set so low that he decided that our relationship was amazing enough to make up for that i was not as good at lovemaking as she was i feel sad and hurt and i don't know what to do the ex managed to ruin what was supposed to be one of the happiest period of my life i don't know how to bring this up to my fiance without sounding like a nut with no self-control who thought it was a good idea to watch the videos and snoop on his phone update my fiance's ex sent me their love making tapes and i made the terrible mistake of watching it as for the update after posting here and reflecting on my actions i realized what i did was wrong and a violation of my fiance's privacy i allowed my insecurities to dictate my actions even though my fiance is okay with me using his phone my intent to snoop made what i did wrong so i decided to just come clean i sat him down the next day and told him that the ex sent me the videos as well and also came clean about the snooping he was pretty upset but surprisingly he wasn't that upset with the snooping he seemed more upset that his ex had somehow managed to cause drama once again in his life he told me that he hadn't watched any of the videos because in a majority of them he was uncomfortable with recording them and only did it for her and was afraid of watching it made me look at him in a bad way this made me feel even crappier for what i did and i apologized again and reassured him that they did not in any way lessen my feelings or respect for him i wanted him to have some time to process things and decide what to do about the ex and what i did so i gave him some space that night i decided to cook his favorite meal as a sort of apology dinner and discuss things he seemed in a much better mood he apologized to me for not telling me about the tapes right away and for being an idiot and not realizing that she would come after me when he had blocked her he told me he appreciated me coming clean about the snooping and understood how i got carried away and that i could have just talked to him and he would have given me his phone and reassured me that he hadn't kept any of the videos i asked if he was going to press charges regarding revenge porn and he told me that he wanted nothing to do with her and that we should just move on and enjoy our engagement and forget the whole thing i told him it was completely his choice and i support him and would delete the videos and block her right away finally i brought up the texts and he apologized to me for the rant he told me that was the first time in a long time that he had actually thought about who was better and that he had never actively compared me with any of his exes before he told me he should have just answered it with a simple my fiance is better and tried to apologize again i told him that he didn't have to sugarcoat anything and that it was his private conversation with a friend and i have no right to be mad when he wasn't really disrespectful about me or our love life i also told him that it was okay if she was better and i didn't have to be the best at everything he explained to me that after talking to sarah he thought more about it and that he hadn't really expressed his thoughts well in the text but he would like to explain it better you are the best i have had i'm not lying or sugarcoating anything if someone asked me who is the most skilled or the most adventurous sexual partner that i have had then yera would probably be her but that doesn't really matter because if someone asked me what was the best lovemaking i have ever had my first thought would be the time when we made love right after you asked me to marry you and then it would be the night when you first told me you love me and third would be the time when we made love in the kitchen the day i moved in for all her skill and experience she couldn't even make the top three and we have the rest of our lives to make sure that she doesn't even come near the top 100 so no i'm not lying when i say you are the best i have had i'm not going to lie despite what i said about not needing to be the best just hearing what he said maybe i butchered the quote he was so much more charming and eloquent made me really happy so i kissed him and asked him if he wanted to try and break into the top three again then we made love i didn't specifically try to be more aggressive but i tried to focus more on what he was feeling to reassure myself that he was enjoying it as much as i did that naturally allowed me to be the one in the lead and it was great i could tell that he really enjoyed it as well i know i have to work on my insecurities and potentially see a therapist but for now i will try my best to just forget what i saw on those videos and enjoy being engaged to the most amazing man i know [Music] you

Channel: Beast Stroke

Views: 16,917

Rating: 4.7777777 out of 5

Keywords: Beast, Stroke, Beast Stroke, reddit, tts, funny, serious, top, posts, stories, story, r/, r slash, ask, cringe, best reddit posts, subreddit, askreddit reading, relationship, advice, relationship advice, relationship_advice, ask reddit, post, Wife Gave Birth To A Biracial Baby That Isn't Mine, My Wife Gave Birth To A Biracial Baby That Isn't Mine, WIFE CHEATED & I FOUND OUT WHEN SHE GAVE BIRTH TO BIRACIAL BABY, wife cheated on me, wife gave birth to black baby, wife gave birth to biracial baby, babies

Id: WVsXV6KIrtU

Length: 22min 11sec (1331 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 16 2020