- Today on Karamo, he transitioned and now
the father of his child won't accept him. Why can't you accept him as Jaymar? - This isn't the person that I met. He was my best friend. - Plus Big Freedia, the Queen
of Bounce is in the house. (audience cheers) - Well, I had people
who tried to bully me. I had to fight to be who I wanted to be. - Then I had never looked
at my child and said, "I hate you." - Take care of him. - You will never disrespect a child. (audience cheers) Hi Valerie. Welcome friends. I am Karamo. Y'all already have a good show today? - [Audience] Yeah! Cause I am. Today is a very special show for me because as many of you know, my identity of who I am starts at the intersection of me
being a very proud Black man and a very proud gay men. Those parts of my identity
are the source of so much joy, community, and love in my life. But if I can be honest with you all, it has also come with many challenges from family members,
friends abandoning me, to trying to physically hurt me because they couldn't
reconcile their relationship with their religion and
their relationship with me, even though I was still the same person. Or times when people I knew or didn't know tried to get my biological
son removed from my home because they thought a gay man shouldn't be raising a child alone. Can you imagine that? So for everyone at home, whether you support the LGBT community or you're still trying to
reconcile your own feelings, today is a day for you
to see the experiences and humanity in people who might have never
engaged with otherwise. So there's so much to cover in this hour. Also, I wanna let you all know we have a big surprise guest, New Orleans Queen of Bounce,
Big Freedia is in the house. (audience cheers) Y'all know Big Freedia's big song Beyonce, Big Freedia, okay. We're gonna talk to him later
about his personal journey. But first, let's meet Jaymar, who is a former healthcare worker and a father to a beautiful
three year old daughter. Jaymar is also a transgender man who faces discrimination
and judgment daily. But recently that discrimination and judgment has been coming
from someone close to him. Let's see what's going on. - My name is Jaymar, but
I wasn't born a male. I was born a female and
my name was Lacresha. Four years ago I began to taking hormones and I started living my
life as a trans male. During that time, I met my ex Damian. We fell in love and he begged me to have a baby with him. And let me be clear, Damien knew I was transitioning
to being man the whole time. Before I was Jaymar, I was Lacresha. And that's who Damien is, stuck going. And that is never happening.
I'm not going back. Damien disrespects me. He says he won't allow our daughter to be raised by two men and I'm angry. I'm tired of arguing. I need Karamo's help. I need to get it through
Damien's head that I am Jaymar. - Welcome, Jaymar. (audience applauds)
Hey. Can I have a hug?
- How are you doing? - Good. How are you doing?
- Great. - Good to see you.
- Nice to see you. - Thank you for being here with me today. - Pleasure to be here. - So Jaymar, I want to find out first, you and Damien, how did
your relationship start? - We met through friends. He slid up in my DM trying
to flirt with me eventually, and we was just like best friend.
- Okay, okay. If y'all don't know, it goes
down in the DMs, all right? Check y'all deal. - I was open-minded. I'm open minded. And so we was friends for a minute and then I ended up stopping
my testosterone shots because it was too high and that's where he wanted to take things a little farther and he kept begging me to be Lacresha. So eventually I just let it out. - So when you were in the
beginning of your relationship, Damien understood that
you wanted to transition because you take testosterone.
- Yes. - Got it. So even at that time, Damien was pressuring you not
to be your authentic self. - Yes. - Why stay in a relationship
if you were unhappy? - Because I loved him
and I'm a people pleaser. You know, once I fall
in love with somebody, my goal is to please you. - What I appreciate about you is you having the strength to say, "No, no, no, that's not what I'm gonna do. This is who I am and this
is what I need to do." So I appreciate that for you. - Thank you so.
(audience applauds) - So what is it like
for you to be a parent? - It's wonderful.
- [Kamaro] Yeah. - It's really wonderful.
- [Kamaro] Yeah. - The biggest support you can
have is your kids, for real. - [Kamaro] Amen to that, okay. - Yes.
- I love it. And when you were
pregnant with your child, was it an easy pregnancy? Was it something that was simple for you? What was that birth process for you? - It was easy.
- [Kamaro] It was easy. - It was easy. - How was your health during that time? - It was actually good until I had her. - Okay, what happened when you gave birth. - I had her, two months
later I went into a crisis and my heart stopped. - Oh my gosh.
- [Jaymar] Yeah. - What happened? Can you please tell me? - My heart stopped because I guess two months later after I had her ended up with Myasthenia Gravis and I ended up in a
crisis in the hospital. So after I woke up in the hospital, I was kind of confused because, you know, my heart stopped as Lacresha, but when I woke up the
bed had Jaymar on it, him. I was confused like,
where did this come from? And they were like, "You did that." In all the hospital
systems was Jaymar, him, and everybody was approaching me as a man. I woke up and Jaymar was fully woke. I didn't even- - What I think about that is exceptional that even one of your hardest moments, your true authentic soul still spoke up. - It felt it, yeah. - It felt it.
- Yeah. - Like if this is the moment that I'm going to meet my maker, I'm going to meet my maker as me. Can you imagine that?
- [Audience] Yes. (audience applauds) - [Kamaro] Pretty amazing.
- Thank you. - Pretty amazing. Listen, I think it's important that Damien accepts you as Jaymar. - Yes. - Do you think it's important
that Damien accepts you as Jaymar?
- It is. I honestly know because as Lacresha, he put life into me. Like when I tell you he slayed me. Anything y'all see on
pictures, he did that. - [Kamaro] Yeah.
- I don't know how to really- - In case y'all don't
know what slay me means, it means to make me look good, to make me feel confident. - [Jaymar] Yeah.
- [Kamaro] All right. - He made sure Lacresha was confident. - [Kamaro] Yes.
- He put so much life into me. But when I'm Jaymar, he told me, I'm not buying you no clothes. You gotta do everything yourself. - Yeah.
- And I don't. I'm not a dresser like, you know, so. - I mean, you look pretty smooth today. - Thank you.
- You're welcome. - He never put life some Jaymar. - Yeah, that's fine. I will say this though, even though he might not be giving Jaymar the life he deserves, what I can tell already is that you have the power within
you to give yourself that. - Thank you so much.
(audience applauds) - All right, listen
everyone, when we come back, I'm going talk to Damien. Stay tuned. (upbeat music)
(audience cheers) Coming up. - This isn't the person that I met. I created this beautiful
Black woman that promised me. - My producer said that
you wanted me to ask you about your sexual orientation. How do you identify? - I, I
(audience gasps) - Now there's a layer here
that I did not just expect. (dramatic music) So when you're in the
beginning of your relationship, Damien understood that
you wanted to transition because you take testosterone. - Yes, as Lacresha, he put life into me. But when I'm Jaymar, he
never put life into me. (audience applauds) - Welcome back everyone. We have been talking to Jaymar, who's a transgender man, and he wants his ex to
accept him for who he is. Everyone, please welcome
Damien to the stage. (audience applauds)
(upbeat music) - Hey. - How you doing?
- How you doing? Gimme a hug. What's up? Take a seat.
- All right. - So I have to start off, thank you for being here so much. - Yes, sir, thanks for having me. - I gotta start off and
say what's going on? - I mean, I just don't, this isn't the person that I met, that I created. I created this beautiful Black woman that promised me to marry
me, to give me children. - Lacresha was powerless, that's why. I didn't really have a voice. - You was everything I had. - So I want to know this because I can see that you're struggling. I can see this. But you also use language
that is ownership language. That is that language of like, I deserve this about another human being and that's not healthy. And I want to know, so why can't you just
accept your best friend? - Lacresha promised me this future that I just couldn't let go. And it made me feel like a man. You know what I'm saying? But you never even gave me a chance to say goodbye to Lacresha. You just killed her. You never even gave me a chance. - You wasn't never going end it. - But think about her daughter. Like how- - She's gonna respect
me no matter who I am. (audience applauds) - Jaymar, I wanna hear a little bit about Damien side because the thing is, you asked for help and
for me to really help, I need to know more about
where did this start from. I have a question for you. I don't know this answer, but my producer said that
you wanted me to ask you about your sexual orientation. How do you identify? - I'm gay. I'm a gay Black man. - Now there's a layer here
that I did not just expect. - [Damien] Yeah. - So you identify as a gay Black man. - Yes sir. - So as a gay Black man, someone who's in this community and understands the
oppression, these things, why are you then imposing that impression and judgment on someone else, especially someone who you
called your best friend being a member of this community? - She promised me to be Lacresha forever. - [Kamaro] Okay. - And that's what I wanted. That's what I want. - I'm gonna ask you for a favor, while on my stage-
- Yes sir. - Would you be able to
please refer to Jaymar as he? - Yes, sir.
- Thank you. (audience applauds)
- Thank you. - I understand you're
going through your journey. I do understand that. But on this stage, it's all about respecting
individuals of where they are, what their pronouns are, and how they identify. You just gave me a lot to
think about right there because I wasn't aware. I thought that I was dealing with someone who identified as heterosexual and identify as straight
and you know what I mean? Now there's layer this. I wanna know, now that I'm
hearing that you identify as gay, did your family accept you? Did your mother accept you? - Well, not at first. So I did eight years in
the federal penitentiary. So when I came home, her and my sister had
like a little debacle and that's how it came out. And that's how I was exposed. So, you know, when she
found out, she said, "Well, you're going be a hard gay. You're gonna be gangster." It was hard for me too, you know. And when I found something
to cover that hardship up, it was easy. - I understand that. I'm listening to you and I get it. You are grieving. Jaymar gave you safety. - It's not that I don't want
to agree with you, Karamo. I really, it ain't about, I don't wanna play tough of war with you.
- Having someone who identified as female and presented as female
made you feel safe. That's point blank. - Period.
- [Audience] Yes. - Period. That's what it is.
(audience applauds) - Period.
(audience applauds) - And that's gone. So I'm hearing now, you're not really grieving
the fact that Lacresha transitioned to Jaymar, you're grieving, "How am I gonna be safe in this world?" You're grieving, "How
do I explain to my mom I can't give you what you need?" You're grieving all of the people who told you you're not good enough and now you feel like
they're going to be right. - And you wanna know something, Karamo, I knew we wasn't going,
if I stayed Lacresha, we wasn't going to be
together in the future because that's not who he
was in love with for real. He fell in love with
the thought of Lacresha and his mom's happiness. - [Kamaro] Boom.
(audience applauds) - And I just got trapped. (audience applauds) - All right, so when
it comes to your child, how do you feel about co-parenting? - I love it. We do great as parents. You know- - Did you tell Jaymar that you don't think your daughter should have two dads? - I just don't like her to say, I don't want her saying dad to both of us. I'm kind of confused with that. That's just how I feel. - I feel like, you know,
two men can raise a kid. (audience applauds) - Listen, there's a lot to uncover here. So friends stay with us
'cause we'll be right back. (audience applauds) Coming up, please welcome the
Queen of Bounce, Big Freedia. (audience cheers) - Where you just kinda do a little- - Eh, eh, eh.
- Side to side. - She promised me to be Lacresha forever. - [Kamaro] Okay.
- And that's what I want. - If I stayed Lacresha, we wasn't going to be
together in the future because he fell in love
with the thought of Lacresha and his mom's happiness. (audience applauds) - All right, welcome back friends. We have been talking to
Jaymar and his ex Damien. So listen, we've heard
so much from each of you. And before I give you my ideas, is there anything else you
all wanna say to each other? - Well, I just wanna say I
don't really know if after this he is even going to be like, he's ever going to even
listen to you anyways. But I just wanted to say this, I really struggle every day. I always wanted a gay friend
period just to help me with my everyday dressing and he was that. And I struggle every day with Jaymar and I just wish that he
could be that best friend. That's all. - Yes, I get it. Damien, for you? - Obviously, you know we
have a child together. I'm talking to you, we
got a child together. I don't agree what was going
on, but I hear you out. - Yeah, you gotta agree, that's what I'm saying. You gotta understand, not just keep saying you what you think. You gotta really understand me. As a gay man, I don't understand how
you don't understand me. (audience applauds) That's where I got hurt. - So you asked me for help. And so here's my take on this. One of the things that I
want you to understand, that your experience, Damien, and this is important because a lot of people within the LGBT community experience this, it's called internalized homophobia. It's where the messages you
receive from the outside world, which are negative, which make you feel like
you are not good enough, you start to feel like
those messages are real and you take them on. And when you take those messages on, you then start to look at the
people around you and say, "You're not right either.
You're not right either. You're not right either." You're passing the hate that you received onto other people because you're scared and you feel as if you do that, then these other people
are gonna accept you. And this was based solely on
the woman you love so much. And I'm not calling
your mother a bad woman because she's on her journey as well. What I'm saying is, unfortunately, she did you a disservice because she made you feel as if you can't have the life
you want and deserve, a loving family, a healthy relationship because of the fact that
you love who you love. And I'm here to tell you, you can release that
internalized homophobia. You deserve love. You deserve respect. And you deserve to be who you are. But as you're on that journey, you don't deserve to disrespect your ex. You don't deserve to let them feel like they're not good enough because you're on a journey
to feel good yourself. (audience applauds) And at the bottom line, there is a child that needs both of you. And that child has two
dads who are beautiful, who are Black, and who are smart, and who are gonna love
that child and raise them. But if you only show them hate and show them what your mother showed you and let them take it on, you're gonna have a horrible experience. So don't do to what your child, what your parent did to you. - Yes.
- Got it. (audience applauds) All right, I wanna say good
luck to Jaymar and Damien. And when we come back, Big
Freedia is in the house. (audience cheers)
So don't go any where. I'm excited 'cause we're
gonna be checking in with one of my guests that
was very special to me. Hey Jaymar, are you there? - Yeah, hey Karamo, how you doing? - [Karamo] I'm good. How are you? - I'm doing great. - You look good and you
have been on my heart and my mind since I last saw you. So listen, I sent you a little surprise. So I wanted to get you your own wardrobe that you can feel comfortable with, that you can start dressing yourself, that you can have anything that you need. - This is so like, oh my God. - I want you to walk out
in the world confident, feeling good about who you are. - I appreciate you so much. - [Kamaro] You're welcome. - Don't nobody ever do
stuff like this for me. So I really appreciate you so much. (audience applauds) - Look at the shoes. You like the shoes? 'Cause I picked the shoes up. - Oh, this is nice.
- Good. - Thank you so much. Thank you for all the help. - Of course, I love you.
Enjoy those clothes! - I love you so much.
- I love you. Listen friends, that
is what I love to see. Jaymar is about to be looking fresh, but more importantly, he's gonna be walking
through this world confident, knowing that he can conquer
whatever comes his way. And that's what we're about
here on the Kamaro Show, stay tuned.
(upbeat music) (upbeat music) Welcome back friends. My next guest is a music icon and an activist for the
LGBT plus community. And I want to talk to him about what he's been through in his life. Everyone, please welcome the
Queen of Bounce, Big Freedia. (lively music) Hey!
(lively music) Hey baby.
- What's going on? - Oh my gosh, I love you.
- How are you? - Take a seat.
(hip hop music) - Hi.
(audience applauds) - Yes! Yes! So I just have to take a moment because anywhere I go, y'all need to know I
give you your flowers. I love you and I've
loved you since day one. So let's get right into it. This is your second time, number two, teaming up with Beyonce. What was this experience like for you? - I mean, it was amazing just to be able to be called
by Beyonce for a second time for a song. I am forever grateful to Beyonce. You know, right now this renaissance project is something that's
needed around the world and "Break My Soul" has broke charts. - You number one, baby. - Yes it is.
- Okay. (audience applauds) I want for everyone who doesn't know what is New Orleans bounce? What is bounce music? Because you are the Queen
of Bounce and I know, but explain bounce. - So in New Orleans we call it shaking. You know, we shake, we wiggle, we wobble. - [Kamaro] Yes.
- We bust open, bend over, we do it all.
- Eh! Eh, baby. - But when I define bounce
music, it's up tempo. It's heavy bass. It's call and respond type music is an Orleans bass music and it, you know, from
babies to grandmothers, it's a part of our culture and it's what we love and
what we do down there. So the world is finally catching on. - Yes. So to us, we know you as Big Freedia, we know you as the Queen of Bounce, but when you are home in New Orleans, they know you and will always
respect you as Freddy Ross. - Most def.
- Yes. - Tell us about your experience
growing up in New Orleans. - You know, growing up
as a little Black boy off of Josephine, I did it all. I saw it all. You know, New Orleans is what
helped me to be who I am. From the neighborhoods to my
church home to my high school, my middle school to my family and friends who help nourish me and make me the person that I am. Once I left Josephine Street, my next house was on Music Street. - Really? Like actually Music Street? - Yes. I stayed on Music Street so- - [Kamaro] You better manifest. - You never know how your journey may go and God already had, you know, this being my destiny
to be in the music game and to do what I do to bring all different
walks of life together. The power of what I do at my shows and the joy I bring to
people in their lives. - Millions of people. - Yeah, and so we all
have a purpose in life and when you learn your purpose and know what your purpose is, you fulfill those things and
God will keep on blessing you. (audience applauds) - Can you tell me about
the bond that you have with your mother growing
up in New Orleans? - Oh God, I mean my mother
was my biggest cheerleader. She was my protector.
She was my everything. - Yeah.
- I mean, anything that I wanted
to do, she had my back. She supported me in all of my many things. I mean, she kept me in line and made me respect
myself and respect others. She also kept everybody else in line who may have tried to bully me or anything. I mean she fought for me like no other. (audience applauds)
And you know, growing up, especially being gay, when you have your mother's support, you don't need no validation
from anybody else. - Amen.
- You know? And so she allowed me to be who I was. She allowed me to live in my truth. - So being gay in New Orleans
when you were coming up, how is that different from
what you've experienced now? - So growing up in New Orleans back then, being gay wasn't accepted like it is now. I mean I had to fight. I had people who tried to bully me. I had to fight for to
be who I wanted to be. - Yeah.
- I also had a mission that I was gonna be the first
New Orleans gay person that any boy could come to and not feel like I'm
stepping outta line with them. I can be their partner,
they can dap me off. So I wanted to have
relationships with everybody. And so I worked really hard
at that for many, many years. - [Kamaro] Yeah. - I fought all my life and I'm gonna continue
to fight to be able to open doors for the next
generation of people that walks like me and talk like me. And you know, anything that I
can do to help the community and make the world a better place, I'm down and I'm fighting for my people. Anything that's fighting
for a great cause, I'm down for it - Freedia, we are so
thankful for the work you do, for the fights you make, and for the fact that
you give us great music to release our days and to feel good.
- Thank you so much. - Everyone please give it
up for icon Big Freedia. - Thank you.
(audience applauds) - Okay, what I do? - Look, I'm gonna do something real easy. - Yes, okay. - Where you just kind do
a little side to side. - Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. (audience cheers) - Listen everyone at
home, we'll be right back. Oh, I love you so much. (audience cheers) Coming up, you just set out your own mouth that you've said to
your child, I hate you. (audience applauds)
- Take care. - What I will never tolerate on my show is you will never disrespect
a child as a parent. - I knew that she'd be upset but I didn't know that she'd
like walk off the stage. (dramatic music)
(audience applauds) - Welcome back everyone. Today I've been speaking to
members of the LGBT community who are in turmoil with their families. Now, something I know to be true is that in most families, if there is a parent who
is at odds with their child because that child identifies as gay, the negative feelings from the parent towards their gay child are
pretty much black and white. But other times the
issues in some families can be more in that gray
area, harder to see, which is what piqued my interest when my next guest called
the show asking for help. Friends meet Luke. (upbeat music)
(audience applauds) Shots, shots, shots.
(audience applauds) - Nice to meet you. - How are you doing today? Nice to meet you. How are you doing today? - I'm doing well that I'm here now. - Okay, you look beautiful.
- Thank you. - So Luke, tell me what's going on. - So what's going on is I'm a young 24 year old proud
LGBT musician from Austin. - Yes.
- And I just want to be here on the show to show people that if they're LGBT or if they're
struggling with their parents or things like that, that it can get better if they work on it. So I'm here to work on it. - Yes. Okay. I love that. I love that. So please for me, describe your
relationship with your mom. - So I'd say that my
relationship with my mom has been strained the past few years because we just argue a lot. She's very in my business and she just oversteps
her boundaries with things and I just need help setting those boundaries with her to have a healthy relationship. - So my producers told me that your mother wasn't fully in your life. - She wasn't so- - So what was it like growing up with her when she was there and what was it like without her? - Well growing up it was really nice most of the time with her. But there was a custody
battle between my parents and my mother lost. So when I was around 10 years old, I went to go live with my father and I didn't really see
much of my mother after that until I turned 18. - Is not often you hear about a mother in a custody
battle losing custody. - Yeah.
- Normally, the courts side with the mother. Do you know from your
experience what happened there? Why you had to live with your father? - I think that the reason is because there was just a lot
of issues between them and I think at the end
of the day it was just who battled it out better in court because there's honestly good
and bad to both of them, so. - Did you see her at all during that time? - I saw her for supervised
visits every maybe month or so. - Okay.
- Depending. Sometimes not even.
- So once a month. Oh, you said so not even. - Not even all the time.
- Okay. - It was just really hard because the lack of consistency and time that we spent with each other, it was only a few hours
that we would get also, so. - [Kamaro] Got it.
- Our relationship kind of just dwindled. - So how did you and
your mother reconnect? - We weren't allowed
to have phone contact. So when I turned 18 she
finally got my number and we met up after texting
and calling a little bit. - So before 18, your mother wasn't allowed to
have phone contact with you? - No.
- All supervised visits? - Yes. - This is all interesting, okay. When did your mom find out
that you self-identify as gay? - She found out actually
after I turned 18. She didn't really have an idea, she said before and I thought that was kind of surprising because look at me now. - You're like, "Girl, you got eyes girl." - Yeah. But she found out, she said she saw a social
media post on my Instagram and that's how she found out. - Got it. So she found out about the
authentic person you are on Instagram.
- Instagram, yeah. - Wow. And what was her
response when she saw the post? - So on my social media, I definitely post a lot and some of it is a
little hyper sexualized as a lot of things are
in the LGBT community. And I think that she
has a problem with that. Me dressing like this,
she just thinks that- - Go back 'cause you said,
"Me dressing like this." What do you mean by that? - She just thinks that, "Why can't you just be normal? Why can't you just wear
like what normal boys wear? Why do you have to be so out there? Why do you have to be over the top? Why do you have to be so extra?" - Because your gender identity is male. - Yes.
- Or they. - Well, I'm honestly, still figuring that out for myself. - [Kamaro] Amen, you're on a journey. - Yeah, I'm still on that journey. - Perfect, okay, good. And so though you're on that journey, she's having issues with
you being on that journey? - I think that her issue is everything that comes with the journey. - Mm, okay. That's interesting to hear. Listen everyone, when we come back, Luke's mom, Mari, will
get a chance to respond. Don't go anywhere.
(hip hop music) (audience applauds)
Coming up. - I think you might be
projecting, to be honest. - Let me tell you something very clearly. (audience applauds)
- Take care. (audience boos)
(dramatic music) (dramatic music) - My relationship with
my mom has been strained. She just oversteps her
boundaries with things and I just need help setting those boundaries with her to have a healthy relationship. (audience applauds) - Okay, we're talking to Luke about his broken relationship with his mom. Everyone, please help me
welcome Mari to the show. (upbeat music)
(audience applauds) Can I have a hug?
- Sure. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you as well. Please take a seat. Well, I can see where
Luke got their looks from. Okay, all right. 10 years is a long time
not to be in contact. - [Mari] It is.
- With your child. - Yep. - Tell me what was going on there. - Yeah, so let me clarify. Luke and I did go through a very long contentious custody dispute that lasted around 10 years. We did have contact twice a month. We had visits, we also had
holiday visits with my parents, but it was still strained because we weren't able to
communicate between those visits. - Got it.
- I'm a very dedicated mom. Love my son to death. And my issues with him now are partially about him being
in the gay community and how the choices he's made with certain unsavory friends and toxic over sexualized
maybe situations. However, I have been very accepting of him in every way. - During that time that you
didn't get to see your child, what life were you building in your head? Because this is the thing, as parents, I know this just for myself, we start to imagine our child's future. - Exactly.
- Especially when you're not around them.
- Right. - What life were you building in your head when you weren't around your child? - So to be honest, and to be fair, he played every sport, baseball, soccer, ran track, basketball. He was gonna get married and have kids. And then I did find out on
social media that he was gay and I was shocked just because of, I mean, I don't know if
I was a little in denial, but I never honestly didn't see the signs. - Yeah. Yeah.
- So I didn't see 'em. - Yeah. - You say Luke is irresponsible and naive. - Just recently he picked up a homeless gay guy from California who
flew out here to live with Luke. Fast forward, the kid gets my son's name tattooed across his chest. That was a red flag and
an alarm bell for me. The kid just recently totaled his car. So there's been other situations. There was a situation
where one of his friends called me at four in the morning
claiming Luke was missing. And I don't know if this was a prank, but for five hours I
didn't know where he was. I had to call the police. All the police stations. - I just have a few things to
say about what she just said. - Yeah, please tell me what you think. - I honestly think that my mom can have her opinion on the friends that I have, but at the end of the day, it's my choice, and my life and my journey
that I have to go through. And I have to make the
mistakes to learn from them. - Yeah.
- [Mari] Right. - And the thing my mom does is if I'm arguing with a friend, she'll go out of her way to go message them on social media and- - Wow.
- Blow the situation out of proportion. Also, with the me being missing, my phone was literally just lost. So that, like- - Okay, but your friends did call me at four o'clock in the morning. - Yeah.
- Claiming you were missing. - Well, my phone was just lost and then she started
calling the police station and everything and I'm like, "Chill out, my phone's just lost." - That's what a responsible
parent would do. - And then- - Yeah, that one I get, 100%. Somebody call me at 4:00 AM
to say my child is missing, I'm gonna be on every dial
on calling everything. It just what it is.
(audience applauds) So that one, as a parent I do understand, but when you take it further, like you just said with social media and then messaged someone's friends now that's something I don't do. - Now, I've done that once or twice. - And she comments like
mean things on their posts. She just blows up situations that could be dealt with in a better manner. - What mean things has she said? - She, one day she says she hates me, never wants to see me again. The next day she loves me. So I never really know exactly
what I'm gonna get from her. - Your child just said
that you say things like, I hate you and then say
the next day, I love you. - Right and I have regretted that, but I think there's a big
chunk that we're missing here. - Tell me.
- The story. And I'm not trying to justify that. - What does that come from? - Here's where it comes from. He's put me through a lot of stress. The poor decision making,
the calling me up. I get no respect. It is a respect issue for me. There's a lot of rudeness,
a lot of disrespect, a lot of blowing me off, putting me last on the on the list. And I'm the one who's always there. - You're here now.
- Exactly. - And so I'm looking at the
be patterns of behavior, there was many years you weren't there. - Well, I was there. I wasn't allowed to be there. I was there. I went to the school for
parent teacher conference. - Well, your child feelings
were that you weren't there. - Well, his feelings are
valid but so are mine. - They are valid, but as a parent and as a
parent to another parent, when your child says you weren't there, that impact has a greater impact on what our child goes through versus what we went through.
- Right. - You know what, this is
a good place for a break. We'll be right back.
(audience applauds) Coming up. - I think you might be
projecting, to be honest. - Let me tell you something very clearly. (audience applauds)
- Take care. - You have a great day. - [Audience] Bye. (dramatic music) - One day she says she hates me and the next day she loves me. So I never really know exactly
what I'm gonna get from her. - It is a respect issue for me. There's a lot of rudeness,
a lot of disrespect, and I'm the one who's always there. - There was many years you weren't there. - I wasn't allowed to
be there. I was there. (audience applauds) - Okay everybody, we are
back with Luke and his mom. There's something that I wanna say because I'm listening and I wanna connect the dots. And so as much as I know
that you love your child and I do believe you love your child, I do believe there were some
unhealthy behaviors in the past and I believe those unhealthy behaviors are still raring their head now. In this moment, I do believe when I hear
things about how you're acting and how you talk about your child, that you call their who
they are a lifestyle. Just let y'all know very much anytime you say to someone
who is gay or trans, that their life is a lifestyle, you would not like to
be told that who you are is a lifestyle. This is just who your child is. (audience applauds)
- [Mari] Right. - Secondly, when you say
things about unsavory friends, when you say things like
they, they're not good, these things are something
that I know to be true as called implicit stereotype. Let me teach you this really quickly. Implicit stereotype, 'cause I see you're shaking your head, but I'm very knowledgeable. - I'm talking about experiences I've had with them personally. - Listen, I understand. - And we don't have all
day to talk about it, but. - We actually do. We are on my show. - [Mari] Okay.
- So we do have all day. When it comes to implicit stereotype, what that means is when you have feelings that have already been deep down inside of you, I asked you that question about what life did you build in your
head about your child? Because that life and that thought pattern and any feelings you had attached to the LGBT community are
showing their head now. Even though you're saying, I'm there, I wanna be there.
- Let me. - I'm telling you from your actions, you are still showing
that implicit feelings of, "Well, I don't know if I really feel like this is right for you. I don't know if you're
making the right choices." Because you built something in your head that they are not living up to. - I think you're blowing
it out a proportion because my son can speak for that. Why don't you speak on that? Have I been accepting of
you and your lifestyle and your choices? - [Kamaro] Again, you just said lifestyle. - I said you and your lifestyle. - I said it's not a
lifestyle. You can't do that. You cannot say to. - I said you and your lifestyle. - But I'm teaching you right
now that you cannot say you and lifestyle.
- Just say you. - It's just say you. - But have I been accepting of you? (audience applauds) - See I'm here to support you and I'm here to also make sure that you don't walk away feeling
as if you're a bad guy. 'Cause I don't think you're a bad guy and I wanna be clear about that. - Yeah.
- Yeah. - But I do believe there's some education that needs to happen. - I honestly think that
my mom loves me very much and I think that now she accepts me way more than she probably
could have in the beginning. - And the reason that is, is because there's still things from how you perceived
your child's life should be that is still coming up. You just said outta your own mouth that you've said to
your child, I hate you. You've said it. - Not for being gay, sir. Not for being gay.
- [Kamaro] Okay. Like, I said-
- That's absolutely- - I'm telling you something, things come out of you. What's in you gonna come outta you and that's what I know to be true. My best friend said that all the time. What's in you gonna come outta you? And what's in you is that there's something about
your child you hate. So whether you want to admit it or not, it came out of you. - I don't actually think she hates me. I think she just says
things to hurt my feelings when I don't do- - I don't think she hates you either. But what I'm saying to you is there's something within her-
- [Luke] Yeah. - That she's been feeling
that when you say something, I've never, as a parent, let me just say that- - I think you might be
projecting, to be honest. - Let me tell you, so my child, let me tell you something very clearly. My child is right there. I have never looked at my
child and said, "I hate you." (audience applauds) So I can tell you very clearly that there's nothing-
- Take care. - You have a great day. - [Audience] Bye! - So let me tell you something, because no, this is really great because what I will
never tolerate on my show is for anyone to tell me, first of all, that I don't know what I'm talking about. But also you will never disrespect a child as a parent.
(audience applauds) Because at the end of the day, I do believe your mother loves you. But I do believe there's
something within her that is not allowing her to respect you and treat you the way you
deserve to be treated. - Yeah. I just want things
to be good with her one day. - Yes, I know that. But the unfortunate part, because I see you get emotional right now. What are you feeling? - It's just I knew that she'd be upset when things were talked about, but I didn't know that she'd
like walk off the stage. - It's because she's not ready yet to face what's really going on. That is not about you. That's about her feeling
like I just got caught. I just had a mirror put up to my face. And then unfortunate part
is that you're her child, so she knows she can get away with it. I'm a grown man. She can't get away with it with me. But I want you to know
you don't deserve that. Come here, give me a hug. (audience applauds) You're gonna be all right.
You're gonna be all right. Listen, everyone take a seat with me. Listen to everyone today felt good because it was a moment where people's
biases were challenged and I got a chance to
support some LGBT folks and their families. Listen, as we both know,
discrimination is hard. But what I will know to be true is that you at home listening to me have the strength within you to overcome any challenge you're facing and it never forget, there's a community of
people who want to love you and support you. Never give up. Friends, we must never stop
respecting, communicating, and loving each other. It's the only way. I love you all. (upbeat music)
(audience applauds) - This not about you being gay. I've never judged you for being gay ever. I want you to know that ever. Never.
(upbeat music) (NBC theme music)
