Momtime | Summer 2021 | 3rd to 6th Grade

we're going to bust out some questions and just kind of go through that and try to help you guys i do want to just make a note for not just this group but onward people who might be listening if you if something's not addressed this evening don't let that swayed you from not actually calling the church office and asking further questions because we just this is not the only set of questions that are ever written for all of mankind of all ages third grade through fifth grade there's gonna be tons more through life and i'm sure we won't actually get to all of them but we do want you to be encouraged and that is one thing that's so awesome about god's word so before we start let's um let's just make sure you got your bibles a pen or if you're taking notes you know with your phone or whatever however you guys like to do that but let's just um let's just pray so that we can just gather my thoughts your thoughts and just lift up those that are at home so lord i do just want to do that i want to lift up our families that are at home right now and i pray that you'd bless these women who are here who are seeking you lord and just wanting to put you first in their life and wanting you to be glorified in their homes i pray that your holy spirit that dwells within us lord that we would just tap into that and have confidence in that and i pray that you would bless this time now in jesus name amen so like last week um the most uh i would just say the the winner of the week for questions is always always it's going to be puberty and hormones and all that stuff so um here's where i'd like you to be directed i would like to direct you to jackie walters because because actually jackie's husband is a doctor and so it is really great if you have questions to actually go to a doctor and a christian at the same time so i just want to throw that out there if you actually are stumped by some of these questions that have to do with hormones and puberty to actually talk to a medical professional because there are things that can happen along the way that can kind of stump you and they're not necessarily biblical questions there's real physical things that are happening you know with our endocrine system and just how all that bounces out and just all with men and female hormones and testosterone and estrogen and progesterone and all this stuff and all that stuff communicating is sometimes i don't really see the word progesterone in the bible so talk to your doctor about that i just i really do believe that and there's a lot of things that i think women who uh just have gone before us and uses all of us that are here of the titus 2 gals have kids who are older and um one thing that i think is very beneficial i will say on that as far as just accurate information the longer we go the more information that's coming out that sugar is a real culprit for a lot of disorders a lot of labeling topping with kids in education can you can right the wrong so quickly through diet and exercise and then the spiritual component just becomes all that much easier so the second part of that has to do with the actual um you know surprise that everyone comes up with with puberty and hormones you don't know what you're gonna get that's why it's like it is a gift this kid's gonna open up a gift they don't really know what the gift is you know and but the difference is though is there is no warranty okay there's no there's no return policy you know so that for you as mom's i think the biggest biggest thing for you to deliver in terms of messaging for your kids and we talked about this a little bit last week and that is just their identity needs to be in christ and that god's made their body and that god's aware of every part of their you know how they've been pieced together in psalm 139 just make sure i would say that's the biggest component is that you continue to just shower them with the love of christ regarding the fact that they've been made by god they made the image of god and then for the actual medical questions yeah find a doctor to find a nurse just because i am not qualified i know my system and my body but it's not gonna be the same as you guys and it's not gonna be the same as um another family so there's a few other questions that came up so some of the big things that have to do with discipline and all that we have talked about those things before and there's been mom times recorded and whatnot you know i just think the number one thing on that is going to be that go with what the word of god says throw out culture throw out parenting magazine there's just going to be a whole lot of things once you are in the word and once you realize wait a second i think that there's actually a way that i'm supposed to raise my kids and i don't think it's the way you know dr whoever says doctor whoever is not going to be around in five years he's not going to be around in 20 years there's a lot of people who just come and go and the saddest reality about so many who make it into the magazines is that their own home life has been destroyed you know by this person's pursuit of ambition or success or whatever it is they've been looking at so to fill those things that your kids are looking to fill and if they do run into discipline when they intersect with the bible that's just the most amazing place where you can go look to the bible for fulfillment and then you get filled and then you pass that on to your kids so that's that's i mean that's how that's the overreaching view of how you look at discipline what does the bible say about and then literally if you guys have your phones or if you're home on your computer i'm just going to show you an app because i really wanted to do that tonight for you guys so you could see how easy this is so if you just go to like i'm just going to say blue letter bible i don't know if you guys have it but let's just say blue letter bible so then almost all of these have a little search right here so if you were like hmm what does the bible say about speaking hmm okay so s p a and k try to spell it right i never do so then oh great no results found that's awesome try a different version um let's go to something else let's go to um let's try anger because i actually did do that one before we started tonight there's a million scriptures that have to do with anger anger is a question that came up tonight and i wanted to be able to talk to you guys about the difference between what the children of israel did time and time again in terms of creating anger the lord was brought to anger it says it so many different kinds of ways if you look because someone had said how do we deal with anger and resentment in a child and you kind of have to go with what the definition of terms are you know so like genesis 27 44 it talks about anger it in genesis 49 it talks about anger there's if you literally do a search and you look up what the biblical definition is and how it's used with just the sociology of the people if you go genesis go to exodus oh wow the lord will break out and anger against them hmm so the lord can get angry what's that all about you look up that anger and it talks about grief and then you take that in context of what the children of israel were doing they were create they were being idol worshipers they were not following god those are that should be very freeing to you you know when we actually think about that for five minutes we think oh wow i actually get angry too i get grieved that my kids aren't listening to me or i get a feeling of roth okay the difference is i'm not god news flash neither are you okay and that's what we have to convey to our kids if our kids have anger issues and if they have resentment issues we have to be able to dig down into that with them so you're never going to do that though if you haven't a good pattern of communication with your children right so start the day if if you if you've never been a good communicator with your kids just say okay tonight i'm gonna come home from mom time and i'm gonna have what debbie calls a happy chat and just based off the questions that came up uh for this week i thought you know this group needs to know what the happy chat is a happy chat is just a nickname that i have coined for a reset okay and everyone needs a reset everybody i need to reset you need a reset your kids need to reset so if anger and resentment is becoming a pattern for instance or if lying is becoming a pattern that was another question that came up how do we deal with lying you might need to do a happy chat so a happy chat reset is when things are going good so like you know tonight you're bringing home dessert you're bringing home nothing bundt cakes for your kids and okay we could have a little dessert and stuff okay so based on the questions that came through and based on what i learned this evening i feel that the holy spirit's telling me i need to talk to my kids about abc behavior okay so they're having their little muffin and everything and you're gonna say well kids guess what we're gonna work on lying third through fifth grade perfect age for this they 1 000 can change the behavior you can modify it you have this one-on-one communication with them but mom i'm not a liar but they're lying telling you that they're not a liar so yep we're going to work on lying and we're going to help you understand why it is the truth is so important and so then and you can go through jesus said i am the way the truth and the life you know how we talk about jesus you know how well he's the truth so we want to follow the truth does this make sense and they'll be yes mom it does so if i was building a building a building kids if i was building or a bridge you know and i decided that i didn't want to do the last math problem for that bridge should i be okay with building that bridge and having millions of people go over that bridge oh no mom well that's because i wouldn't have been telling the truth about the equation of what goes into that bridge right right mom so this is why telling the truth makes sense because god is our bridge jesus is our bridge you could flip over to genesis and talk about how jacob was the latter and how jesus is the latter to heaven and just the whole wrestling that he did with god and how jesus is that picture in genesis and show your kids we want to follow jesus even when it's hard even if it would be easier to lie just like the person building that bridge it would be easier for them to leave out an equation we don't want to do that we have to tell the truth give your kids a real good strong basis for this age group third fourth fifth grade perfect they know so much they're so capable of understanding so much that it will make sense to them but then you got to back it up and those were other questions that were asked what do we do about consequences at this age so during your happy chat reset what you need to do is say okay so we've clearly gone over why it is we don't want to lie it's in the ten commandments jesus said i'm the way the truth and the life and we follow him we know that lying is wrong lying is actually from the devil the bible has all kinds of you know explanations and using the little search that i just showed you put in the word lie and liar and tell the kids do you would you rather be associated with the devil who is called the liar the father of lies or would you rather be associated with god the god of hope the way the truth and the wife everlasting which one have them pick and then you back it up okay they're gonna pick the truth so then you say okay so what are our consequences for third fourth and fifth grade and this is where this is where the fun starts okay this is where you gotta write down your list of all the things that mean the very most to them in all of life if it's tv if it's technology if it's reading certain books if it's whatever they've really wanted to do that even if some people i never i never said church brett and i always as a rule we never had church be a consequence we wanted to get our church our kids in church as much as possible so never use church i'm not going to let you go to church that's the no no no don't do that that should be part of your you know extraordinary curriculum that you're using okay is church is a part of it that's one of your good tools don't ever remove it okay but if it's ice cream with friends or if it's going out after church with friends or if there's a sleepover thing happening or whatever those things get cut you know and there's creative ways beyond just what we're sharing tonight that could really really help you with that the gals will be glad to show you things they've learned too through time you know there are super creative ways ticket systems are really good i don't know if if you guys have done that or if you've started that but a lot of kids really love rewards they love earning tickets and then they love spending tickets but the beauty of the tickets is that you can take them away so it's a little bit different if you have like a money jar because then you feel like oh actually i feel like i'm stealing for my kids no no the whole thing with the rewards on tickets is you earn the tickets but you can lose your tickets you know unless you want to get creative with the money thing and be like okay i'm actually finding you for ten dollars because you know you lied or whatever so you gotta you kind of gotta work with that on the whole happy chat thing okay but happy chats don't don't underestimate their value you'll use that style of being able to redefine and reset your family and get on the same page so that kids aren't surprised when you have expectations you will use that clear through till they move out and even as adults our kids we we have actually had happy chats and i have a child that's 30. okay so we we have actually as a family said okay we need to have a happy chat for this family because we uh need to get on the same page you know so it is it's just a tool that's just one tool there's many tools so i just wanted to share that with you um there are a few things that we wanted to do first as far as just going through the words so if you want to open up your bible to proverbs chapter 2 verse 6. proverbs chapter two verse six and then we'll go to james chapter three um two verse six says for the lord gives wisdom and from his mouth comes knowledge and understanding you know that was my verse for today it popped up and i was like this is great the moms need to know how good the lord is that he gives wisdom and i just wanted to as i was praying for you guys and just our just our whole you know group of moms and dads that are at ac now both in person but also online because there's a lot that is don't underestimate the wisdom you actually real wisdom that you can get from god and you can listen to people who are older much much older and they're at the end of their life and some of the things that they'll say youth is wasted on the young you know someone who maybe is a little bit bitter about not being able to do things that they used to do and they are getting weaker and stuff like that but the wise older person sees that the treasure that they have as an older person is the wisdom that they have and that experience you you don't have to wait until you're 95 to have that wisdom though the bible is very clear and it says the lord gives wisdom there's no age record on that and that is so worth everything you teach your kids to love wisdom and teach your kids wisdom only comes from god wisdom's not something that you can earn or make up it really is something that god gives and so at this age third fourth and fifth grade this is the made in the shade time in life for you guys this is before they get into junior high this is before there's high school and the complexities of that there's no dating sleepovers are a thing of the past stuff like that this is your season to shine as a mom you can get up make your kids you know their breakfast whatever that is um and go through a proverb a day right now you have like a month and a half left before school starts take advantage of it you can get through the book of proverbs in the next month and really teach your kids a lot and really help them understand like wow god really definitely cares about me and about what i'm doing and you can impart that i should say the holy spirit in you can impart that to your kids and it just makes for a really sweet atmosphere in your home when you do that so now go over to james three there's a couple things i wanted to share some people asked questions about how to get that environment in their home and just make their home be like a godly place i think the first thing you have to do is just acknowledge in faith and this winter when we went through the choose life study there is a set a section in that book that has to do with faith and how important that is and how the children of israel their big sin was that they didn't believe you know so as we look at james and as we apply what god's saying in terms of he makes it really clear what we should do and how we should act and walk and live our lives but the atmosphere in your home let the lord and through his word let that be the thing that dictates how you make decisions so let me just give you an example by um let's just read through james chapter three so not many of you should presume to be teachers my brothers because you know that that um we who teach will be judged more strictly i wanted to make it clear that i am not a teacher i am just doing titus too okay that doesn't make us teachers so this doesn't count for us okay because i don't want to be in this group ever since i was first saved i was like nunu i think that's that's kind of a high i just i pray for brett and i pray for anybody who actually does do exegetical studies through the word of god because it's much more than just imparting you know like this is what i've done in my life and this maybe can help you out that's what i'm doing what brett does falls into that category just so you know just saying okay it says we all stumble this is verse two we all stumble in many ways if anyone is never at fault in what he says he's a perfect man able to keep his whole body in check which you know that's impossible so help help your kids understand that it's impossible to be perfect only jesus is perfect verse 3 says when we put bits into the mouth of the horses to make them obey us we can turn the whole animal or take ships as an example although they are so large and driven by strong winds they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go likewise the tongue is a small part of the body but it makes great boasts consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark boy didn't we learn that last summer in verse six it says the tongue also is a fire a world of evil among the parts of the body it corrupts the whole person sets the whole course of his life on fire and is itself set on fire by hell and then it goes on to talk about really practical things the book of james is just so good for just kind of cutting to the chase on if we're a christian and if we're believers then we need to back that up with fruit and this is a this would be a really great thing for you guys to go through with your kids at this age go through it in the you know niv or something really simple it doesn't have to be king james that's the niv that i just read to you you know you can do new living there's really good um you know uh interpretations of the bible that will not get you off course just by reading through it quickly with your kids but help them understand and if you want to break it down as the mom or if you're the grandma or the aunt help them understand right here is where you have a lot of choice there might be a whole lot of things in life that your kids and you can't really control but what you can work on is just is right here and it's so hard because of exactly what james says and so many of us want to have an environment within our home that is just not what we see and you have to take a step back and ask yourself gosh how much am i doing to actually sabotage my own environment within my home because of my own actions that i'm doing with my own mouth just like the word says again it starts with you it starts with confession going to the lord we sing a couple songs tonight that remind us of that the blood of christ and how we're forgiven and so that is so good and take that fresh start even driving home tonight take that fresh start and just say lord i know that i have fallen short in this area and i desire for my home to look differently than how it has been so help me to lead by example that's a huge huge thing in some of the questions that came up how to how to create an environment within the home you have to lead by example you know and and it's not always going to be that you have a husband who loves the lord some of you don't have believing husbands but you still your requirement is for you to lead by example in your love for the lord and looking by your faith to him and just showing that as a model to your kids and that really is going to be the gospel lived out in your home and that will change the fragrance of your home you know literally it will change the way your home feels and that's how you get the environment better so another question that came through had to do with praying so last week we um kind of tapped on this but in matthew chapter six i wanted to just go through it again and in case you weren't here last week but literally if you're if your kids are wondering how should we pray you know you can't go wrong with the lord's prayer i mean it's the lord's prayer okay so the lord's prayer is just that's throughout i mean for centuries um literally since christ and since it's been penned um denomination whether it's catholic or protestant the the lord's prayer that's the big one okay so let's just go through it just for a second um it's in verse nine where uh jesus starts in matthew chapter six verse nine this then is how you should pray our father and remember you can write this above the word father it literally means papa okay so that's a very endearing term for father our papa in heaven hallowed be your name your kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in heaven you know you can stop with your kids and just say wow so god has a will and we want his will that's huge for kids at that third fourth fifth grade that's huge for them to understand that that there is a god who is a sweet papa who is holy and set apart and he has a will that right there can stir up the desire for those kids to want to know what that will is and it's just really really sweet to teach that to them you can then go on give us today our daily bread that's asking the lord for provision for each day what our provision is forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors i mean sharing forgiveness with your kids there's no there's no greater way than the lord's prayer just asking for that forgiveness and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one you know reminding your kids that evil exists there is good and there's bad and there's evil and there's an enemy and that enemy of their souls wants to devour them and that's what we pray that the lord will deliver us from evil those choices that can lead those temptations that can lead to really bad outcomes your kids at the age that they are are not too young to understand that outcomes consequences those are things that you can start even in if you have younger babies that was one of the first words brook knew consequences i wanted her to know that word even if she didn't conceptually get it i wanted her to really actually say that word consequences because it's used over and over and over and over again in our home i mean for all for now forever you know like always there are consequences it's how you teach your kids how to eventually be adults you have to weigh out the actions that they're doing as an adult now you know brooke she has to weigh out like well what's going to happen if this happens and what's going to happen with this happens and is the outcome worth it is it what i expected and actually measuring that when she was younger if she touched something that was hot and got a burn that was a consequence you know it's not always a retaliatory thing it's not always oh this happened and so there you go it's consequences it's no deep inside your soul there's consequences for life and so what are those things that we're trying to actually teach our kids so that's my little tidbit on teaching your kids how to pray just go to the lord's prayer and literally memorize the lord's prayer it's and another really good one is the 23rd psalm just understanding that because there's so many foundational things in understanding the lord is my shepherd i shall not want and that just breaking that down and just seeing how you know yeah the lamb sometimes has a broken leg because that shepherd wants that lamb to stay close and there's just so many concepts in that but you know memorizing the 23rd psalm memorizing the lord's prayer those are just really really good really good basic things there's a few other questions so um okay a few things that came up that have to do with the balance of siblings when you have older siblings and younger siblings so on one side we had oh no we have older siblings who are you know like more mature and this younger sibling is missing out that was like one set of questions on the other side of questions we have um oh no what about the fact that like will this child ever feel included with the older kids so i think in the end both answers are take a deep breath and just rest because a four or five year difference can turn into like a difference of nothing when they're adults and i thought wow a really fun example maybe that i could share with you guys just in our life is our youngest daughter casey so our youngest daughter casey and brooke are about four and a half years three and a half years apart so four years when you go into school they would be in first grade third grade fifth grade or they would be in second grade fourth grade sixth grade it was easy for me right everything got messed up when we homeschooled casey and then it was like wait a second now she's starting college actually in a higher grade than joey is because she took more classes than joey did so it was all askew after high school but all through the years we had this pretty substantial grade division between brooke and casey but you know now you would never know it you just would never ever know it um they had their times and for the questions that came came from parents who have you know two three four kids and you can tell that they're concerned about this younger one ever being friends with this older one and the answer is yes they absolutely will if you set them up to be friends we would literally circle up our kids and say these are your friends for the rest of your life these people in this circle are your friends it doesn't matter what so-and-so is doing it doesn't matter who whatever is on what team it doesn't matter whatever whoever's doing these are your friends when you're a hundred years old these are your friends you teach your kids loyalty you teach your kids courage you teach your kids how to just flick away peer pressure when you really help them with that understanding that this circle this is your peer group and then outside of that are you then you have to examine and we talked about this last week the companions at church or the companions at school and just a scripture to help you just to kind of really help that sink in in proverbs 13 verse 20. it says whoever walks with the wise becomes wise but the companion of fools will suffer harm now that doesn't mean that you don't have a full in your house because what does the bible say the bible says the fool has said in his heart there is no god so you might have a fool living in your house okay you don't want to be a companion with the fool that's why you're going to work so hard to share the gospel with your kids and have them come to christ right because you want them to understand we want to walk in wisdom right like here's your team we want to walk in wisdom right guys and they're like yeah but it doesn't mean that they're not going to step up and trip up sometimes because they will they're kids you know you will you're a human you know but our goal is to not just walk in the way of fools and that i think that's the best description as far as showing your kids what is the right way to go through showing them what is in the word in terms of wisdom and being prudent and um ignoring culture you know and then just really showing up your own family and really really working on this relationship and you don't have to strive for people to be best friends in your home you don't you just don't have to do it if the middle kid wants to play with the older kids sometimes let them play if the younger kid has to have time alone let them learn how to be alone and independent if the younger kid wants to play with oldest kid and the middle kid needs to also learn independence let them do that the lord is working in each one of your kids and he sees it and you don't have to worry about it so without i don't want to say just forget that don't worry because it's on your heart or it wouldn't have been asked but i think long term it does really it just really works out and so just rely on the holy spirit and have faith pray for your kids and then um just don't worry about all the ins and outs because they are gonna have times where they're closer to another sibling for forever that's it's just the nature of how things go and it's okay you know it's okay okay um now let's see there's a few other things here just going through um i think now okay let's go to ephesians 4 ephesians chapter 4 verse 26 and this has to go back with when we were talking about anger and resentment which is a concern obviously but let's just go to yeah this is good because we talked about this last week too so um verse 25 of chapter four says therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor for we are all members of one body and then in verse 26 it says in anger do not sin do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold okay that is a big deal that's a really big deal um when your kids are younger sometimes they don't really understand forgiveness fully and even when you're an adult sometimes you don't understand forgiveness the reality of forgiveness is that it is way less to do with feelings and it is way more to do with going back to the lord's prayer aligning yourself with god's will okay so it ties in with anger what we just read ties in with anger it ties in with forgiveness it ties in with don't go to bed angry and letting bitterness have that foothold and let the aunt letting the devil have that and grab that in you um you you don't want that in your life and you want your kids to learn that as soon as possible so if if it's not something that you've done before then definitely tonight start with tonight again go get a little uh cupcake thing go home let your kids have it let you know give them a treat or save it for tomorrow or whatever is good for you but do that happy chat reset and just say guys this is new to us and this is okay that it's new to us but we're not gonna go to bed angry at each other anymore we're gonna choose to take a time out whatever it is we're discussing we're gonna separate that out and say i love you i forgive you we're on the same team god loves you god loves me and and hug each other and go to sleep it's biblical but it also is very good practice just in your relationships both with your husband and also your kids and all that sibling stuff that are a lot of questions that are percolating about that um again it's just practical application but just actually literally taking the bible and saying oh so i shouldn't be angry right now as your head is hitting the pillow you know no matter what it is and your kids are going to come across like some crazy kid in the classroom that does something something something you know some text thread that comes out about them and things that or whatever whatever it is bullying harassment i mean teaching your kids how to let those things go and give them over to god in third fourth and fifth grade is going to be a lot easier than it's junior high in high school because i referenced this earlier um with marissa who helped leading worship we were talking about that movie mean girls and i'm sure a lot of you saw that at some point and it's a real thing i mean girls really can be mean and so can boys and you've got to teach your kids early like wow yeah people are ridiculously sinful but they don't have to be affected by that and going to bed angry is only going to do them harm they're not going to sleep as well and they're not going to recuperate for the next day and there's just a whole bunch of things that can get really messed up all in their neuroplasticity and everything like that so you just want to really teach them the bible's right again hey let's forgive each other we love each other and now let's go to bed okay so now let me just go through and make sure because i know we have these awesome questions and i want to make sure that we um answer them okay this was a big one so there are complicating um you know life life is hard sometimes you know we all know that but sometimes and that's happened in one of these questions sometimes you uh might be a step mom or sometimes you have remarried and now there's a stepdad and sometimes there's blended families and sometimes most of the time in blended families it's really rare that the mom and the dad who are divorced are gonna see eye to eye if they could see eye to eye they would not have gotten divorced so now you've gone into this situation and you're a part of it and you're trying to actually help manage this but you have this really crummy situation where the kids go for a week at a time or they go for a weekend or whatever and basically undoes everything that's happened within your home that is just a bummer and all i can say is wow i'm so sorry that that's happening to you i know that i think my mom felt that a lot because my parents were divorced when i was young and clearly they had two different ways of living um but at least my mom and dad were able to communicate and like when there were big decisions that had to do with my big brother and me uh you know they at least could talk enough to say okay so you know so-and-so you know got a ticket or whatever happened um what should be the protocol now they could at least do that my parents weren't going to church so i didn't have the problem that came up in here as far as a kid i didn't sense this except for this and i shared last week that my parents were raised in um episcopal church right so episcopal is kind of like catholic minus the brain to marry okay that's a very maybe coarse way of describing it but literally when you go through the liturgy it's like wow it's so similar it's shocking not in latin no praying to there's no weird statues so um no brainery and all that there's no confession booth there's just things right but you take communion the same way the big dudes with the hats are there like all the kind of like whoa it's kind of way funky compared to how what we're used to here at 8th greek so that was what my parents knew right so my mom took us to church every sunday and my dad actually i would literally remember him being in the recliner watching football and so it looked like oh this is what the mom does it takes her kids to church and i was really young two and a half three years old seeing this right then when my parents got divorced and this is where it's so huge so huge for you as women to understand and are referencing to the tongue and everything and how evil it is some gossipy ladies in the 60s this is how it was looked at um it still can we could be so terrible to each other but women talked about my mom and she literally heard them use the word divorcee and my mom felt so out as a person that she never went back to church again i mean never until now she listens online at eighty i mean it was decades decades so this whole thing of walking with my mom quit my dad started taking us on the once a month times when i went to church it would be only with my dad and my stepmom so to me it was the same church okay i didn't notice anything different my mom had all this social stuff going on and all this hurt and heartache and my dad was on a whole different realm of his reasons for taking us to church which we won't get into tonight but it wasn't it wasn't honest what my dad was doing was not an honest thing it was a show okay so either way it was horrible it was just it was so surfacy and so every on both sides my mom saw a lot of hypocrisy and she saw she was basing everything in her life on the outward appearance of man and again this is what happens so often in some of the protestant churches and the catholic churches and this is why i love athey and i love churches that are non-denominational and this is really why the non-denominational movement started and just going through the word of god because we long for relationship and we long for that so much and my mom got kind of outed from that you know and she never really understood that there's a personal aspect of our life with jesus so why do i share all that with you because if you're in the middle of being a stepmom of a broken home and if you're or or if you're the mom and you have to take your kids over to someone who's a non-believer if my situation can lead to me coming to christ as a teenager please have hope that in your family it can work out as well because it was bumpy folks let me tell you it was bumpy but that bumpiness created in me a void that was huge and when i was shared the gospel it just made all the difference and that's that's what you can do is pray and be patient and just soothe when you need to and be available for communication and maybe a lot of late night talks maybe a lot of de-programming of things that are learned when they're over at a different home you know when they get back into your home your nest is the settled secure place and i think that that's what you can offer you can't change what's happening in that other home and you can't change a judge's order unless you're going to go through the court system again and that all that stuff is just so hard and it's expensive and it's just it's just heavy and it's tough and so i understand that as a kid coming from a divorced home i really understand that but also understand that god is completely able to restore that child to himself that's what you pray for you know if there's a broken relationship between you and an ex-husband if there's a broken relationship between your husband and his ex-wife you know i've seen miraculous things happen relationally between those relationships where there's actual wow recognition of failure there's been fault there's been forgiveness there's been redemption and even reconciliation it can actually be amazing but if that's not your situation do take hope and do not fear because the lord is able he's aware of every step that your child is taking even into the home that looks like it's a dark place okay i really want to make sure you guys are settled with that so let's go ahead and turn to second corinthians chapter six because so many people they feel the brunt of these broken relationships but then you can't really put your finger on why it's so frustrating but if you look at chapter six second corinthians 6 verse 14 it says here do not be yoked together with unbelievers for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common or what fellowship can light have with darkness what harmony is there between christ and below what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever what agreement is there between the temple of god and idols for we are the temple of the living god as god has said i will live with them and walk among them and i will be their god and they will be my people therefore come out of them and be separate says the lord and it goes on to talk about the quote from the old testament and then in chapter seven it says in verse one since we have these promises dear friends let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit perfecting holiness out of reverence for god and then it goes on to talk that so basically the reason why i wanted to share that scripture with you is just so you could have confirmation in your mind that you're not going crazy when you see something that's out of sorts with two homes a home that's not believers versus a home that has believers there is scriptural remedy for that there's there's a reference for that and there's definition of that so that you you aren't going insane you know you're you're not going crazy and you're not being overly picky the bible literally we just read it maps it out like wow light and dark just don't go together so that is an example of something that at this age you can really show your kids and they might be you know like i'm so sad to go over here because it feels dark to me you know point them to scripture and show your kids like you know what it might feel dark to you and that that you're perceiving these things totally right and let's pray because the lord can give you strength and it might be that you need a phone call with judy you know judy slaughter who can take those zoom calls left and right and is happy to discuss with you i've never seen i've said this before i have never seen just a more godly example in terms of living out her face also completely respecting her ex-husband who divorced her for no good reason except that she was a christian and to watch her walk her life with the lord and love jesus with all her heart mind soul and strength to the uttermost and still to this day lead so many in biblical council that's so wise but i got the advantage of being friends with her kids when they were teenagers so the most tumultuous time in a child's life where there could have been rebellion and out and out this and that and just all kinds of crazy things and i saw judy be balanced and i saw her choose jesus first and i saw her way out what the bible would say i saw god give her judgment and give her good judgment and give her good wisdom you know from above and then i saw her say that to the kids so one story that comes to mind and all she would not be embarrassed by this because melinda is just a friend to all and doesn't get embarrassed but um she really really really wanted to do like ice cream we had a concert at church this was years and years you know ago she was like 15. mom i know i'm supposed to go to dad's but can i just go to ice cream after this concert it was so fun and she if it was my mom my not to expose my mom but my mom did not have respect for my dad i mean at all she told me i needed to honor my father which i'll give it to my mom that was pretty good for for the things that happened for my parents to get divorced that was actually really really good and it actually really did save me from a lot of anger towards my dad all growing up through those years but i know for a fact my mom would have said sure you can be go to your dad's later whatever but judy was like you're going to need to talk to your father first because it was turning into where it was going to be his time for melinda to be there wow i was so blown away by that you know i by that time was over 18 and i was able to make my own choices an adult as an adult my mom and dad were not involved in my life anymore at that point um to a large degree you know but as far as um custody and all that that was out of there no more part of my life so glad it was a huge pain but i just felt so bad for melinda because the situation that she was in had her parents been together wouldn't have even been a question but the parents got into this situation that caused this conflict for melinda you know but judy set such a good example melinda just calmly learned and just said okay and judy would not budge on that she said you have to talk to your father and i just wow i just thought wow that's so good you know it's so gracious and godly and a really good example so i think it's really important that even though maybe most of you don't have that situation there might be a lot of people who you'll run into in life who do have that situation and to just know that there are women who have gone before you and before your friends who have chosen the right path and walked strongly with god you'll never regret it because your kids loving the lord is the number one thing it's the absolute number one thing um in terms of bodies we had that question come up what about bodies we talked a little bit about puberty and hormones and all that stuff the big question is what do we do with our actual bodies and purity and those kind of questions that came up the thing that you guys have to understand is when your kids are third grade fourth grade fifth grade they're kind of starting to bounce all over the place hopefully in their very youngest years you've already been teaching them about modesty you've already been teaching them about these are private parts and all of that you really want to make sure because if you don't do it the schools will and i don't think the schools are training correctly right now because right now they're telling kids they're not actually a boy or a girl so that's out the window right but what is to their credit in terms of the law aaron's laws how it all started is they do want young children to understand that there's certain parts of their body that no one else should touch except if they were sick or hurt and then a doctor or if mom and dad need to you know get in there and you know figure out what's going on but teaching kids proper touch is very very important but it's also very easily remedied by keeping all those parts covered so so when that question comes up it's just so it's it's i'm not meaning to just default it over to have your kids put clothes on but literally have your kids have clothes on it helps with so many things swimsuit attire all that kind of stuff just have them go for modesty and then swim and then get back out and put on a little shorts and shirt and a lot of those problems are just set aside don't have sleepovers with the same sex that came up last weekend last week um don't don't do that like don't even like stop it you know if that's happening no more we're not doing that you know um because that's where that inappropriate touch can start happening you know and you don't you just don't want to have the lines crossed and you don't want to have confusion later and it can just lead to there's just a lot of confusion out there so i just tend to rally up my little group my little crew and say this is our rule this is our family rule and so if you haven't communicated those things just do it just go for it and do it just and don't be afraid to label things actually what they are you know you could even do dr slaughter judy's um you know ex-husband he was a doctor so he literally taught his kids all the anatomical parts but the actual medical latin definition so that is one way you can do it you know just be very clinical and teach your kids the clinical parts of the body and just go through it and then that way they're learning it and there's no questions asked they're learning a cool you know root language of latin for a lot of this stuff so and it doesn't make it uncomfortable it's just a thought so they're not teaching latin really in public schools these days so you could do it through the medical guidebook um i think that that about covers it there's we've covered everything from spiritual and good having a good environment and then um how to manage respecting behavior for your discipline i guess that would be one thing to say people um some questions came up that had to do with how do i basically discipline well okay and how do i maintain respect for the child we talked about that a little bit with the happy chat right we visited in the book of james and in other areas about the tongue and how unruly that is so this is where it gets back to you and your walk with the lord if there are areas that you know you're out of line with then get back in line just you know get back in line come to the lord talk to him about it and ask him what a better approach is now a very simple thing that brett used to say in our house to me because i pulled my hair out too and i got a lot of hair so you can't tell that i pulled it out but woof i would have big chunks out sometimes and bret he would say it's all math hon it's all math and so that's you know and i would feel myself very hormonal maybe you have those times where it'd be like yeah right it's easy for you to say two plus two is four what about one plus three is four huh what about that blood you have all these excuses that we can make in our mind um maybe it's multiplication maybe it's not maybe it's not addition maybe you know you can think all these things just get back to it actually is math get back to the bridge we have to be honest if we're building a bridge we need to have all parts of the equation in there and so with your kids just don't leave stuff out don't go from they don't know why you're upset don't go from they don't know what's going on two moms upset make sure and fill in that in between and then also try very hard not to get upset if you explain to them during the happy chat reset hey if you do this this is gonna happen then this is gonna happen and then this is gonna and then you're choosing this see that's 1 plus 1 plus 1 plus y get to here and then your anger your own frustration within yourself it just dies down because you're just following this little template so it's just oh it's to your advantage to do that so let's pray in some of these things this is just practical tonight very practical almost to a tedious level but if you miss some of these things and if there is anything in here that has been helpful even to one of you it will have been worth it so let's pray and ask the lord for his favor in our families lord we just thank you so much that you love us that you are tender to us that you do help us lord with just gaining wisdom we know we don't have that wisdom we know we can only get it from you everything that's good comes from you lord and life is just a gift and the children you've given us are gifts you say that lord and we know it's true i just pray for those times in our life when we're weak and feeling like we've failed we also want to come to you for strength we ask that your holy spirit within us lord that we would tap into that and that our kids would also become aware of just the power that lies in surrendering their life to you so we we pray for the kids and we pray for the homes lord the broken homes that are represented here as well we pray for redemption and salvation lord to be in every home and that there would just be lives lived fully for you lord we know that you're the god who makes things whole and when we feel that emptiness lord you're the one who we can go to to seek after and love and never come away empty so we pray for the children lord that are um within those broken homes lord we pray for them to have strength that you would cover them and protect them and lead them to you lord and that they would not be able to deny your existence in your level or that you would prove yourself to them and that they would see it and that they would believe and we pray these things where we pray for a blessing on the rest of the night we pray for the tightest two ladies who will be helping and counseling and we just pray for that dessert to go out and make lives happy and we ask for a blessing as we drive home in jesus name amen you

Channel: Athey Women

Views: 206

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: Athey Creek, Athey Creek Women, Devoted, Devoted Podcast, Through the Bible, Brett Meador, Amy McReynolds, Bible Study, Women's Ministry

Id: hg1rb0z-z28

Length: 54min 2sec (3242 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 20 2021