Mitch Hedberg 2004 Just For Laughs gala

is Mitch Hedberg I like to wear this pass because it helps me know when I'm upside down hey I was getting my teeth whitened but then I said forget that I'll just get a 10 instead I saw a billboard it said estimated at lotto jackpot 55 million see I didn't know that it was estimated that would suck if you want to go oh we were off by two zeros we asked to make that you are angry I like rice rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something I saw a commercial on late-night TV said forget everything you know about slipcovers so I did and it was a load off my mind then the commercial tried to sell slipcovers but I don't know what the hell they were you guys are cool man Canada is all right I like the American Canadian border because if you're walking along the border with a friend and you push your friend into Canada he can't push you back right away because first he has to go through customs what brings you to Canada dad when you leave it when I regain my equilibrium I went to the doctor all he did was suck blood from my neck do not go see dr. Acula dr. Scholl makes foot products and he's a doctor so he went to school for a long time but this doesn't take a lot to figure out that stepping on a cushion will be more comfortable that guy wasted lots of time at school cuz out about that from a mr. show maybe even a senior show I got a belt on that's holding up my pants and my pants have belt loops I hold up my bell I don't know what's really happening down there who is the real hero I walk by a dry cleaner at 3:00 a.m. and the sign says sorry we're closed you don't have to be sorry it's 3:00 a.m. and you're a dry cleaner it will be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open I'm not gonna walk in at 10:00 a.m. and say hey man I walked by a tree and you guys were closed somebody owes me an apology I called the hotel operator she's a how can I direct your call well you could say action and I will begin to dial that when I say goodbye you can yell cut if you want you can wear a beret and knickers is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or a really cool eponymous amen if you're a fish and you want to become a fish stick you have to have very good posture you can't be a slouchy fish or you will be a fish clump I went to the store I bought eight apples the clerk said you want me put them in a bag I say oh no man I juggle but I can only juggle eight if I'm ever here by nine apples bag them up I got a new CD it's in stores when you have a sitting in stores you have to do in-store appearances if nobody shows up I just pretend like I'm shopping that's how I shop I sit behind a table with a pen I hate to dream Dreaming takes energy sleeping is supposed to be a relaxing affair I lay down on the bed it feels great next thing you know I have to build a go-kart with my ex landlord if you can't sleep count sheep don't count endangered animals you will run out I ordered a club sandwich all the time and I'm not even a member man I don't know how I get away with it I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread so do i well let's form a club okay but we need some more stipulations yes we do instead of the cut-in sandwich once let's cut it again hell yeah four triangles will position them into a circle and in the middle we will dump chips or potato salad cool I can deal with that let me ask you a question how you feel about frilly toothpicks I'm forum well this club is form then I like to take a toothpick and throw it in the forest and say you're home some people think I'm high on stage I would never get high before a show when I'm high I don't want to stand in front of a bunch of people that I don't know that does not sound comfortable like when you're high and a joke doesn't work it's extra scary it's like whoa what the hell happened there I am retreating within myself why have all these people gathered why am i elevated why am I not facing the same way as everyone else and what is this electric stick in my hand I like the way this is situated here it seems like you guys were chasing me closing in then said get let's sit down all right thank you very much

Channel: TheHYPO

Views: 5,455,071

Rating: 4.8772082 out of 5

Keywords: JFL

Id: J-zFQ9fOTSU

Length: 5min 44sec (344 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 21 2007

Reddit Comments

[u/Mortmortmort]

I have a cd/dvd of his that has his "comedy Central Presents uncut" on it. He bombed and it wasnt until the end that people warmed up and started laughing. So he said something like "Fuck it, Ill do my set again" and retold his jokes to the then warmed up audience. What you saw on TV was a severely edited mix of the first and second part of the show. Thats why his hair is randomly messed up because he keep it running his hands through his hair as he went. Its pretty hilarious.

[u/thesmoovb]

Mitch Hedberg would have been the best person to follow on twitter.

[u/atmosphere325]

I told my coworker this Hedberg joke:

"I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down."

...then he replied with "those points are essentially the same location". touché coworker. touché.

[u/znan30]

To this day, I can't look at a broken escalator without saying, "Escalator temporarily stairs"

[u/R-con]

This is how I saw it on Reddit: Someone posts one mitch hedberg joke. Someone decides to post more mitch hedberg joke. Someone says fuck it, lets post the video where all these jokes are from.

[u/fattymccheese]

I was at his show about 5 weeks before he died, it was good but half the time he spent wrapped up in the backdrop curtains. he must have had the most crippling stage fright, I couldn't even imaginge

[u/ArcadianDelSol]

I still have my ticket to a show in Baltimore that was cancelled because of his death. I opted to keep it instead of getting a refund.

I had planned to bring him a baked potato to give to him after the show because you never know. I think he would have laughed.

[u/TheDudeAbides420]

I used to like Mitch Hedberg. I still do, but i used to too.

[u/meme__machine]

Man, you can see the effects heroin abuse is having on him. Reminds me of Kurt Cobain towards the end