Miriam Margolyes' Hilarious and Iconic moments! | FANE

would you like to tell the audience your story about your trip to Australia recently and your Yoni situation yeah cuz this is a spar Town isn't it oh hello you gonna join us oh no they're just passing through okay um well um I don't know if you've ever heard of steaming the Yanni have you have you have you come across that I haven't um but it is a a well-known phenomenon which ladies can uh enjoy and you sit over a steaming sauce span of some herb oh thanks for coming um as the actress said to the bishop um and um it can be any sort of herbs the herbs that they used on the day that I was steamed was uh mint and but you you can have yeah uh you can have um you know you can have oregano or whatever you want whatever you want um and you you sit above the saucepan which is steaming and in a sort of commode you put it at the bottom of the commode and you have a long skirt so there's nothing nasty to be seen it's not it's it's not it's not offensive in any way and you you just um spread your um oops I'll I'll hold this I think oh it's a got a nice shape to it hasn't it [Laughter] um and you you you spread everything you can spread really and um and it the the steam wafts gently up into your parts and up further actually up to your womb if you have one um my womb was removed in 1974 actually and I haven't missed it to be honest but um hello you got a bit lost um you found your found your chap yes good we're just there you got to wait for people you know it takes the time good for you all okay now yeah okay and um so uh you just sort of enjoy the the sensation of warm Steam and it has a very relaxing and I would say um a moistening quality because um this is no secret to some of us but as you age um um certain areas become um a a little um dry I suppose you and we like to pretend that we're always moist well we're not we're not do we well yeah okay I think we all like a bit of moistness and um and it does help no question about that so uh I I believe that this is not often done in England it's done a lot in Asia and and and Africa but bath is a spa town and it seems to me that this would be a very useful addition to uh to what is offered here here there are all kinds of things offered in bath and I think steaming the Yanni would be a very a very welcome addition so um I'm just suggesting that to the to the [Laughter] authorities I I don't regret that I'm outspoken I don't wish to offend and that's something I tend to do I do I don't want to it's not that I intend to offend but you know when I talk about hacking which I do it's a serious business uh some people are very offend by those but I don't know what else to call it I suppose you could call it fellacio and I think that sounds like a flower not the actual business that you do I had a a nailist who did my nails and I had a hairdresser and uh the first thing I always say is whiskers tweezers tweezers tweezers tweezers so you know it's very important and I didn't actually ask you to do it today but you do you remember last time you you did my whiskers for me did I do your whiskers for you wasn't it you oh well I I I I feel I would have remembered yeah you would I would have had that on my epot when I died well somebody did anyway I mean I I always think it's very important because I don't like having hairy chin it's horrid you know I mean you you sort of feel it now every now again you s oh there's one and um so that was the first thing I asked please can you do my whiskers and she had tweezers the makeup lady so I had ha makeup Nails um there were shoes bags and all kinds of things and then he said Dear Mr Walker um would you do a nude shot I said you've got to be joking what what what do you mean and um he said no no I it'll be very tasteful um and I think he he was basing it on the calendar girls film which some of you may have seen I love that film and so I had to strip and then I sat at a table and my tits were sort of I don't know kind of on the table really um but around them were um cream buns and um you know pastries of various kinds uh yeah cream cream titty really cream cream titty um I was astonished that I actually did it you know I didn't know that I was going to do that but anyway I didn't think it was offensive I thought it was quite funny and sweet and witty and they they actually sold out of that number that particular so you know was good well you were mentioning earlier that your mother thought of herself as a lady and wanted you to grow up as a lady you are very plain speaking yeah was that does that come from child that you always spoke like that or is it something that you've picked up as you've gone along as it work no I think I've always been a bit like that I think I tend to say the things other people think and don't say and I do say um and I'm not going to stop now that's just who I am and the way I live my life but when I offend people that that troubles me a bit because I I don't like offending people because it what happens when you offend people is they stop listening and they write you off and then you can't connect with them and what I want to do more than anything else is to to connect and that's why it's so wonderful to sit in the theater and be able to talk to people and I feel I'm connecting even though I don't know each person individually I feel that I'm presenting myself to them as as I am and so they're getting to know me a bit I hope and I hope it's not offensive I mean if I F which I which I might do I always War you I I was taken to the studio and in the anti room while we were waiting to go on there was Jeremy Hunt well um tricky one that um the thing is uh he he he was a Tory you know and I I I am anti-tory you know I make no no bones about that get the bastard [Applause] out yeah you bloody do it love and um but there we were in the in the same room and I wasn't I wasn't you know I'm a well brought up woman and I wasn't going to be nasty to him so I just said good morning and um uh he he he smiled and I said um thinking what the hell you know what am I going to say and I said well you've got a difficult job haven't you uh best of luck I said and I went to sit on the other side of the room and then he got called in to do his interview and then I got called in in to do my interview and I sat in the same seat warmed by the buttocks of the minister of health and um it was an uncanny feeling actually to be so close to the to the seat of power so to speak and and I think I got slightly unhinged by that anyway so I I I gave my eulogy in memory of of Robbie and and then uh I I got up and Justin who is the interviewer who was a lovely guy he said I bet you didn't think you'd be sitting in the same seat as as you know as Jeremy Hunt and I thought that meant that you know the mic was off and one could sort of relax and I said no I didn't I said I met him early and I was quite polite but what I really wanted to say was you you [Laughter] bastard and and and just just Justin said right well I think we we have to get you out of the studio now something that quite striking that you say in your your book that I I I relate to very well is that you say but I don't just want to be a lesbian I don't you say I don't want to be put in a lesbian cage and that's what changed your mind no I think I I knew that I felt um longings for for women um but I didn't know that it had a name and that other people felt that I thought that was just me but then when I went to Cambridge I heard a bit more about it and um when did I actually do something about it I think it was in the early yeah late 60s late 60s I remember a woman got on a on the tube train opposite me and she gave me a look and it was that sort of look that that holds on to you it she wasn't letting go with her eyes and it made me feel rather peculiar in my groin I knew the groin is going to come up at some point well the groins are groins I me you've got to acknowledge them um and so uh I got off the train and she got off the train and and she followed me or we talked I think and she went came back to my flat in Lancaster gate I was then and uh and I suppose we had a sort of a fumble that's about the best I can describe it um but I thought I liked it and I my can't do that again my neighbors are they're nice people they're not horrible but they're noisy you know they they they've they've got four children they've got two dogs and uh they're calling along you know from top to bottom of the house and it's noisy and I remember once I was I was in my garden and I looked up and there was some workmen on the roof and I said oh hello what you what you doing at next door what what's what's going on he said oh well we're um we're putting in loud speakers I said loud speakers What in in the garden what what what's that about he said well you know like if I want to play music and they have a party uh uh you know they they got the loud speakers and like and you know you hear it back of the back of the garden so I thought for a minute and I said what an amazing idea I said could you come and put loudspeakers on my roof as well would you would that be Poss he said Well yeah if you play us of course we will I said good because you know I like classical music I like Beethoven and B and moart and I could pound it out just when they're doing their party that would let me lovely when I was little mommy used to sing to me she used to sing Music Hall songs and she could play the piano she was very gifted musically and I loved singing with I used to sit we had a very good piano and she would play she she was a she couldn't play play by ear but she could read music and she she she was so special and gifted and one of the songs that we sang together and which I love and I think it's one that most of you will know is Daisy Daisy now if you don't know it shame on you because it's a lovely song so should we have a go just just for fun just for fun okay I I'll count three one two three and then off we go okay okay you up for it I can't sing but you know we'll we'll have a go one two three Daisy Daisy give me your answer do I'm half crazy all for the love of you it won't be a stylish marriage I can't for a carriage but you look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle made for two yay people of bar thank you for joining us for this absolutely wonderful and special evening with such an incredible woman um thank you so much and for all of your questions and your love and support and thank you Miriam thank thank [Applause] you

Channel: Fane Productions

Views: 5,766

Keywords: Fane Productions, Fane, Fane Talks, Panel Discussion, A Night In, An Evening With, The Best of Miriam Margolyes, Little Shop of Horrors, Oh Miriam!, Miriam And Alan: Lost In Scotland, James and the Giant Peach

Id: VKB6OuwogW4

Length: 18min 6sec (1086 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 19 2024