Men share their best NSFW lifehacks r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

many reddit what NSFW male lifestyle huh can you share people can smell your [ __ ] trim your pubes instant one inch longer donger source trimmed my pew bees now have two inch D women aren't attracted to you get married suddenly all women will be attracted to you edit except your wife want a bigger D lose some weight the area around your ding-dong has a pad of fat above it and thigh fat around it shave your balls Gooch ass with your legs through the handles of a plastic carrier bag the open bag will collect your pubes and make for an easy cleanup also lock the door when doing this it can be quite a startling sight I have one for this use Meyer on your bottle area the goopy hair removal stuff that basically dissolves there from your body yeah that they do have a bikini line version for sensitive areas if you're scared of playing the bottle is lava game I highly recommend doing this by sitting in the bathtub and using that to rinse off after as well hopefully your poop a hair doesn't clog the drain now that you've removed all butt hair prepare yourself for the luxurious life of clean sweeps or just single wipes when you drop a deuce fair warning though your thoughts are now going to sound [ __ ] I don't know why it happens but for some reason having an ass jungle helps make fart sound normal and manly when you remove that jungle your farts will now sound weak and squeaky like a mouse playing the trumpet at a Funeral baby wipes are great to have in your bathroom when you take a girl home from the bar and she asks to use your bathroom where she has to piss but she's also doing the finger swipe sniff test to see how much of a clambake she's getting ready to serve you the baby wipes are a nice subtle suggestion to feel free to give your sweaty box and our soul a quick once-over because I'm about to make a meal out of both of them and she'll use them because she wants to make a good first impression and not flop her beaver out in front of a new gentleman suitor with it smelling like burnt til a peel and onions like she just ran a food truck rally 5k in Budapest and she doesn't have to be embarrassed because it's a silent cleanup job she doesn't have to throw on the shower and kick open the door to ask if you have any Ajax to funnel up her flapping duck tunnel just a couple quick swipes and it's back to being presentable without smelling like a botanical garden like if she had washed it with body wash or something I want to eat [ __ ] nor the Chiquita banana lady's hat TL DR baby wipes in the bathroom fellas trust me better if she comes first don't treat her [ __ ] like a scratch to win card trimming your armpit hair reduces the smell by a lot without the discomfort of Shaving same goes for the balls you can have a six with other guys and if you don't want it to be considered gay then you can call out no homo afterwards just try the expensive silky feeling underwear for men just try them once I dare you to go back to those cheap whitey tighties let's just put it this way for you Young's out there the [ __ ] is at the top fellas someone could have saved me a lot of embarrassment in high school if they had just told me that some poor girl laying there pretending to enjoy meat and punching her vagon ass like I'm a goddamn Bulldog eating a bowl of oatmeal if you're gonna go panning for gold and looking for El Dorado it helps to start in the right hemisphere it still amazes me how people don't get this but listen to your woman or man and how they react to your actions in the bedroom if you do something that elicits noise or a good reaction keep doing it don't do it faster or harder or more furiously or whatever unless they ask just keep your rhythm and press the same buttons you'll get a lot further with an easy steady climb rather than trying to sprint to the top of the orgasm hill every time I've gotten a compliment on my performance it was because I was doing what they liked as they liked it ladders duck em you're a man you can jump and reach that it how to go down on a woman this article changed my life but on this whole fred is seemingly made by and for people without an older brother when you're about to not take a deep breath and hold it the extra oxygen goes straight to your brain and it'll make the orgasm stronger make sure you hit legs girls go crazy over men's asses and it's never steered me wrong it's always a nice feeling when a girl grabs your ass and is like that is so nice shave your balls girls are fascinated by them every girl I've been with has been in awe of balls how they move on their own how gross they look they'll end up in her mouth with or without your help women like a nice man s in tight pants I think this is not new however the best way to ruin a good looking ass is to put it in loose boxes that will make your butt look fatter in tighter pants use tight boxers your d is great for holding down ups if you're going to be old-school and use a sheep intestine condom remember to first take the intestine out of the shape stimulate the prostate seriously I cannot recommend this enough it will give you the most intense orgasm of your life and is healthy for you as well when you put something of yours inside a woman just hold it perfectly still for a second she will start moving on it then once you see what rhythm she likes continue at that pace are you in love or in lust feeling the urge to text that person who gives you butterflies in your stomach jerk off don't feel like contacting them anymore they feel irrelevant how got news for you you were in lust you horny dog wait what I'm putting words in your mouth still want to contact them who then congratulations six isn't the only thing on your mind jerk off before a date hose out your [ __ ] to make sure that H is clean boxer briefs superior to boxers superior to briefs you will fail every relationship if you can't pass the orals so look up the clitoris lick it adjust based on how she reacts she comes first do the dishes without being asked burn to make that one meal and perfect it if you can make more than that's just extra good clean your ducting car sucking the Angels for the gays anymore felis it's a very useful bartering tool that I have personally employed for the last decade but you're going to want to hone your skills first before putting them into play practice on bananas or cucumbers to start when you feel comfortable get together with some buddies for a suck session and critique each other until you feel confident now it's time to put the D way your mouth is a few months ago I applied for a position at Jersey Mike's Subs the manager told me I was grossly unqualified and one of the most incompetent people he's ever met he was singing a different tune laughter I tickled my tonsils with the tip of his prick I've been making subs 13 hours a week ever since but it doesn't end there you can use your d sucking prowess to conquer many of life's little obstacles got pulled over for speeding suck that D long line of the supermarket suck your way to the front wife mad at you for sucking so much B suckers its 2017 boys and it's time to relinquish your homophobic tendencies swallow your pride then swallow that load put your socks on before you put your pants on boners go up in the waistband not down the pant leg instead of buying expensive condoms just use a plastic grocery bag and a rubber band trim shave your ass hair around the hole and clean up after her it will be much cleaner and quicker what you see in porn is not generally indicative of reality when concerning sex if it somehow is your reality I would appreciate a lifepro tip from you in return detailing how you achieved this and I say Bravo young man before any major decision especially those involving putting your [ __ ] in people have a wank first this will let you think straight for long enough to probably reevaluate your d-branes notion it has saved me from a number of very bad calls I'll take a shower put on a clean undershirt then go for a run when I get home I'll take the undershirt and put it on a hanger to dry it out when I go out that's night I'll and put the undershirt back on the pheromones I deposited earlier seem to work on those ladies that are attracted to my specific brand of pheromones tap on the toilet minimizes cleanup requirements you can buy a girl for around 100 125 dollars which is about the same as going on a date or two this isn't NSFW but dudes need this if you're ever somewhere and forgot deodorant and stop to smell Bo rub hand sanitizer in your armpits it kills the bacteria tips for a close shave decent looking stubble if you want a close shave you can't beat a new razor but make sure you go with the grain first then against this will help to avoid irritation and redness it will be close as hell stubble is different for every person my mate used to grow a beard in a day whereas I'm about 2-3 days after a clean shave to have proper long hairs take note of how long it takes to get the length you want and set that it up for your next event to look like non vampire stubble outlined Dracula its shower shave isn't just the list of things to do in the morning it is the correct order in which to do them you at first even though you hopefully wiped your butt you know it's not 100% good to go now you can shower get in all those nasty crevices and get em real clean it amazes me how many people don't actually wash their ass because they don't want to touch it you sick fool that means your ass is never clean and thats super gross now your skin and hair have softened up a bit so it's time to shave your face if you're talking about shaving other bits that's probably best done in the shower so you've emptied your bowels now your ass and the rest of you are clean and you have a nicely shaved face that isn't overly irritated now for the ladies is a little NSFW tip for some of you I'm not sure where your technique is going wrong or if it is the cause of Corti pee choices but some of you have a tendency to get tiny pieces of toilet paper hiding in your lady bits even after a shower I like going down as much as any other guy but if I go downstairs and find some TP stuck in anywhere I'm coming right back up and I'll be pretty loathe to ever take the risk with you again [Music]

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Id: gutnWh3I2B0

Length: 11min 58sec (718 seconds)

Published: Fri May 29 2020