MEET THE WOMAN WHO'S MARRYING A GHOST...

you've met the man that shags dolls you've met the woman that shanks dogs you've met the man that shakes cars and you've met the man that shags his own reflection now it's time to meet the woman the shags ghosts yep all right my girl first things first you [ __ ] ghosts we know that so just tell me when you rewind a little bit and tell me when was your last sort of normal it would have been about 12 years ago now i was living with my fiance human fiance that's that's okay human homo sapien sentient being thing that exists what happened with you and that fella then where did it all go wrong he was working away a lot we just moved into a new house in hereford after a while he was going away maybe one week two weeks at a time oh you two weeks at a time can you imagine that women have to wait for years while their husbands went and fought wars back in the day back in naam i don't know if it was nam i've always just wanted to say back in nam sounds cool don't know your fellas just gone to tenerife on an all-exclusive for two weeks and suddenly you've started [ __ ] ghosts anyway what happened next i started to feel kind of like a presence maybe i guess you could call it but that's not that unusual because there's a christmas tree behind her which would imply that it's christmas which would then imply that there should be presents around it's not unusual that you're feeling a presence [Music] i hate myself more than you could ever imagine was it scary i bet it was scary it never felt scary it felt comforting if anything i kinda get what she's saying in a weird way ghosts can be comforting how they're all sort of white and spongy and soft and wait that's a pillow that's a pillow then you decided that you would take it to the next level and you dressed in a very sexy negligee and you went into this bay bedroom and uh and uh turned the lights off and waited i did yes the weirdest thing about that to me is how she takes the ghosts of the spare bedroom why would it matter no i don't know much about ghosts but i'm pretty certain they don't have preferences when it comes to which room they're gonna [ __ ] you in as long as it's not the living room [Music] again i'm not proud of that and waited for a while and then i got a little bit worried i thought maybe i'd scared it off by being too keen okay and then just as i'd given up hope from starting to fall asleep it came to me oh okay smash the little bottle of vodka about to fall asleep and then you start seeing stuff that's a weird coincidence isn't it you are getting [ __ ] by a spirit but a different kind of spirit glenn's vodka what happened next it i don't know what i can say you hadn't had sex yeah i had sex with a ghost she had sex with a goat she [ __ ] a phantom she penetrated her poltergeist of course she [ __ ] did but you can't wrap your arms around the ghost no but you can draw a spooky face on a dildo so how what how physically how does how does the sex bit happen he's you can still feel it like it felt kind of difficult to explain yeah i imagine it is quite difficult to explain how you would [ __ ] something that doesn't exist instantly it brings me right back to being 17 again when i told all my friends i wasn't a virgin anymore and they all started to quiz me on what the girl looked like oh what didn't she look like is the real question bluish roundish sort of greeny eyes lovely lovely long but short hair oh that's for a movie anna looked exactly like any other vagina jack you've just been wanking again haven't you anyway back to the ghosts and stuff what is it actually like to [ __ ] a ghost tell me in one sentence kind of a weight but at the same time weightless oh yeah that's cleared a lot up for me to be fair and the energy as well i think the energy has a lot to do with it do you feel a connection it all makes sense now doesn't it we all know what's going on here she's been [ __ ] fouseytube hasn't she energies bruh and does a sexual experience with a ghost end in orgasm um for me oh for [ __ ] sake now i'm even being sexually outperformed by things that don't exist i've given nothing but pure disappointment to women in the bedroom over the past seven years but all of a sudden oh casper floats in with his see-through dick and start sending ladies to other [ __ ] dimensions lucky [ __ ] even ghosts can pleasure women better than i can i'm pathetic does a sexual experience with a ghost end in orgasm for me and for the ghost i hope so how do you know if your ghost is coming or not and to be fair that's a question probably not for google would it just be sheets covered in ectoplasm or i don't even know what ectoplasm is it just sounds right anyway didn't your boyfriend ever catch you doing this he came home from work a day early and apparently he says he saw the shape of a man through the spare and window oh shoot me in the spleen and call me dorothy all my bloody sense loud isn't it she's been caught cheating by her boyfriend and she shot herself so not literally she could have done i don't know she's been caught by a boyfriend and she's worried so she's made up this whole elaborate thing oh it was actually it wasn't a man that i thought it was it was it was a ghost the the goat the spirit had never ghosted never showed him his physical form to you at all and yet his interest your fiance did yeah which i was slightly annoyed about you were annoyed because you didn't get to see the thing you were [ __ ] behind your fiance but you were annoying oh forget the fella whose missus has just cheated on him with a [ __ ] ghost forget him it was a slight annoyance for you actually i shouldn't say boo because that might turn around because since your first sexual encounter with the spirit you've you haven't had human contact in that way since actually come to think of it i'm now starting to think that fiona might be sleeping with a ghost because i overheard her say to her friend the other day that recently our sex has been dead i thought it was about me but it must be about the ghost kitten i was a little bit worried for a while i would never i've got no interest in men though what about bruce willis best of both worlds but what about children because that surely is not possible don't say it is don't you [ __ ] don't you dare say it is i don't know i've done actually a bit of research into phantom pregnancies oh get in the bin you wet yogurt i really don't have to continue this video but we're still a fair whack off that 10 minute mark and i could do with the mid rolls that's fast forward a year the woman's gone back on the show because she's no longer shag and go what she is but she's shagging a ghost one ghost she's not sleeping around anymore she's no longer the whole of the underworld no more the reason she stops sleeping around is because as of last weekend i am engaged to be married to one i like how she phrased that not him or her or the ghost's actual names can go to actual probably just simply yeah i'm engaged to one as if it's a [ __ ] dog it could be a dog i don't think anyone's actually clarified if this is a human ghost it could be a dog and julie if you're [ __ ] a ghost dog that's just as mental as [ __ ] a ghost well i mean where do you draw the line if you're gonna [ __ ] ghosts can you [ __ ] kid ghosts what about a baby ghost because surely nobody can stop you either way so surely it's all fair game if i ever get into [ __ ] ghosts which the way my sex life is at the moment i'm not ruling it out if i ever get into [ __ ] ghosts i'm only gonna [ __ ] baby ghosts dog baby ghosts actually puppy ghosts what are you gonna do about it what are you gonna do about it what is this channel what am i doing anyway ignore that it's not about me it's about this engaged to a ghost so tell me how does that even come about i met in australia of a starter this year i don't know much about his past other than but he feels it's very ancient very wise been around for a long time okay so australian and years ago surely that would make your fiance an aboriginal surely i couldn't say i'm not sure because i don't know if that's where he's originally from he could be from england because he does oh silly me i just assumed that because you met your ghost in australia he was an australian citizen with a little ghostly australian passport but no no i guess they can travel can't they on a gap yeah these ghosts these [ __ ] it's my fault my father oh why am i getting so worked up omg tell me how did he pop the queue at wiki hold last weekend on a tour and he asked me to hang back just from the rest of the tour group and then propose to me another ghost asked to hang back oi sharon hang back a bit can you i don't want all these scenes it's a bit embarrassing for me you're a [ __ ] ghost john oh yeah i forgot about that shazza i sometimes forget i'm a ghost sharon you're right are you speaking to anyway i guess the next logical question logical i guess the next natural question would be why don't you have an engagement ring we're looking for one but he's really picky it's been it's been really difficult yeah okay okay i mean i've got so many questions the first one is how would a ghost afford the ring too can a ghost even get a job probably not right unless it's writing books for zoella where is he today he's here where where hey what's this ghost called does this ghost have a name my good friend bozak actually came up with a name for him well so ghosts don't already have names you have to name your ghost this genuinely is a baby ghost or a dog ghost isn't it also why are you letting old bozak name your ghost whoever [ __ ] bozak is i bet bozakis i'm [ __ ] buzz and he's got a mench why has bozak been given the privilege of being allowed to name your partner never once have i got a girlfriend and gone bozak yeah you doing mate yeah i got a new one yeah she's lovely really lovely yeah yeah what we call that oh oh sorry it's tulip i've got a photo sorry a rare photo in which he reveals himself next to me is a ray of lights so it can shapeshift can it that's convenient for your stories isn't it it can shape-shift you're essentially [ __ ] a ditto okay he's got the name ray so so he's ray yeah okay well ray it's a it's a pleasure to uh pleasure to meet you um what was it uh about amethyst that made you fall in love ray what did he say imagine studying media for three years graduating with the highest sort of honor you can get going to film school and then having to work your way up through the career ladder you're doing loads of little [ __ ] jobs that you're not really enjoying and then suddenly you bag yourself a job at itv you're buzzing you're 40 but you call your mum up and that mom i got a great job my mom's proud of you she's crying she's like oh you work at the itv that's [ __ ] brilliant you go into work the first day i go oh you're right sam you're called sam apparently sam just lock off your camera on the ghost kenya on ray over there yeah you've done that wicked wicked anyway ray how did if that was me i would instantly just lose the will to live i think i'd end it then and there actually no i wouldn't because then i'd be a ghost and i'd probably get [ __ ] by that cretan what did he say and he just said our connection but as soon as we met we kind of just felt the connection there was really strong but how do you even begin to let a ghost know that you're down to [ __ ] there's ways that you can sort of do things to attract them to you and to make them aware that you are interested in them and you are looking for one as well okay so surely a ghost cannot wear a condom again what am i asking anyway i'll ask the question it's the last one i'll ask if a ghost can't wear a condom can you get pregnant and have ghost babies i'm ghost babies next would you have a ghost family maybe i don't want to scare him off by talking about it too much don't want to scare him he's a [ __ ] poltergeist for [ __ ] sake he's literally dead he's literally a dead demon from another dimension and you're worried about scaring him off with the idea of a baby elisa scofield said in the actual interview the actual giving birth process will be a breeze wouldn't it like that like literally a breeze that's what that would feel like little ghost coming out what was that burst of air that just came out of your vagina oh don't worry about that that was just little baby keith he doesn't look like a keith to me looks more like a queef oh that i promise you that's the first and last time i will ever end a video on the word [Music] queef

Channel: JaackMaate

Views: 755,955

Keywords: jaackmaate, jack, dean, jaack, maate, vide, MEET THE WOMAN WHO'S MARRYING A GHOST..., marrying a ghost, woman ghost, meet the lady who, starting a family with a ghost, meet the woman who has with a ghost, itv ghost, whitney wiscounsin

Id: yXnNS8F8R9U

Length: 12min 10sec (730 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 12 2018