Hi. So, I'm Amanda. I am 33 years old. I live in L.A.. I love to go to the movies. I love to go to the beach. I'm a huge sports fan. I work in entertainment. I am a model. And I also work at events and hospitality. And yeah, I just I love having a good time. I love going out and having some adventures. I love to travel. So in September of 2019. August. September, I started getting kind of just like weird IBS symptoms, but very light like something as simple as a gargling stomach. Like when you're hungry. But it would be so consistent. It would be every day. And it's something that I had never dealt with before. And your mind just kind of go You're like, Oh, that's weird. Is it just because I'm getting older? Like, I'm in my thirties now? Is that my diet? You just your mind doesn't go to the worst. So those are like my first early, early symptoms, just IBS. And then probably about a month later I started seeing blood. And that was alarming because of course it's blood. But again, you don't want to freak out. So I gave it a couple of weeks and I was like Well, maybe it's right, maybe it's know, whatever. Let's see if this is consistent and persistent. And it was. So of course I went to an urgent care. I didn't have insurance at the time so I went to my local urgent care where I was told it was probably just hemorrhoids probably a fisher. And I got my answer. And so I was like Well, great. I even remember kind of laughing in the office and being like Well, you know I don't want to have like colon cancer or something. And the doctor even saying to me and reassuring me I don't think you have cancer like, you know I think that's a little outlandish to even assume that I think you're fine. And I was like, well, great. So how long do I, you know do I expect to have this? Can I expect to see this? She was like, well it depends. She kind of gave me a really loose ended answer of like typically a couple of weeks will heal up. But if it's a fissure like a tear you know, if you don't change your diet and eat more fiber that could be chronic. And, you know, you could just see blood for months. There was no exam done. Urgent care don't do thorough exams. There was no actual blood testing or anything like that. So I took her for her word. I was like, okay this is what I've got now. In February of 2019. So what is that, five, six months before my symptoms started I had lost my mom suddenly she died of a heart attack 3000 miles away. I wasn't there So I had a lot of people tell me this was grief. And it wasn't until I actually saw my first doctor when I got my health insurance in January where he was like, you know you've just you've been through a lot. You know I wouldn't worry about this. I truly think it's just grief. And he's the doctor. My first primary care in January was the one he told me I needed a psychological intervention of some sort because I was panicked at that point. I mean, at that point it's January. I'm finally excited. I get to see a doctor and be like I can get bloodwork done I can get all these tests done and he runs the bloodwork and it all comes back normal which was a relief for me. I was like, Well, that's a good sign. And then that was all he decided he needed to know that I was probably just crazy grieving. You know. You know, in my head I'd probably exasperated all these issues but, you know with these symptoms came the anxiety. I was never a hypochondriac. I was never one of those people who thought I was always sick. It wasn't until I had these really, you know, crazy symptoms that I was like oh, something is wrong which I think is your body telling you something's wrong. There's no reason for me to doubt that. And I was like, This is a symptom of colon cancer. I know I'm 29, but you know, I kept bringing it up to them I mentioned it multiple times. I mentioned it at the urgent care. It's the first thing I thought of when I saw blood. You know, I'm very smart. You know, I like to consider you know, that I am very in touch with my body. I understand. And these things. And no doctor was was hitting back with anything like Oh, that's silly. Like, there's no way that would be colon cancer. And of course I Googled my symptoms. I would I was on Google I think at the height of my anxiety and my symptoms. I was on Google almost every night before bed, even just trying to find someone else who maybe had gone through this. I would be on YouTube and I'd be like these symptoms? Googling them and YouTubing them and searching them in one of the first few things after, you know Crohn's disease ulcerative colitis was colon cancer. And I was like, Well, yeah, like this isn't you know, crazy to think so anyway, So the doctor tells me you know, we can run some, some tests you know, like an H pylori breath test to see if you have bacteria and I'm just like in my mind, I'm just like, it's, I'm late like this. It doesn't make sense what they're doing. But I was like, I'm just going to go through the motions. Let's take it off. And I remember I went on this amazing trip for my 30th birthday in March of 20 20 weeks before everything shut down. And on this trip it was wonderful. I had the best time, met a lot of great people, but my symptoms just intensified and it was almost like my body was just saying Now's the time. This isn't going away. I mean, at this point I've been bleeding since September. It's now March. I was chronically constipated. I couldn't go to the bathroom. And when I could, it was just blood. And that was when I was like, okay when I get back from Australia, I'm going to insist on getting a gastroenterologist and get this ball rolling because something is seriously wrong. And I really like at this point I need to like fight for it. So I get back home to L.A., March 17th March 18th of 20, 20, right as everything's shutting down doctor's offices are not seeing patients in person anymore unless you're considered urgent, you know, And trying to get a hold of any doctor is seemingly impossible and re-appointment is over face time, zoom. And so I got in a point with my primary care you know, through Zoom or face time. And I remember telling him in the car I had my appointment in my car and I was like, These symptoms aren't going away. In fact everything seems to be getting worse. I'm really concerned. And he was like, You don't look sick. If you had cancer, Amanda, you would be losing weight at a rapid pace. You would be, you know, your your face would be sunken in. And I just couldn't believe that he said that to me. And I was like, yeah, if it were bad if it were end stage cancer of course. Yeah. But my gosh, like I'm telling you what I think is happening and you are dismissing everything and not even offering a solution. So finally you know, he was like you know,
your blood work is fine. If it were cancer you would have anemia. So my mind went to okay, maybe I'm not anemic now but give it a couple of months. Maybe that red blood cell count will go lower you know, if it is a tumor. And so I'm thinking of all this and I'm just like I can't go to the bathroom without an aid from a from a pill. I'm seeing blood. Clearly, there's something blocking, everything moving. And so he goes, okay, well if you're really stressed about it I will order a stool sample test for you. And this was like the Psych. Thank you. Like, thank you. Because I know this is going to come back abnormal. I know. You know, if anything, this will get things moving. And he was like, you know, just this is how he worded it. Just to ease your mind will get you a stool sample test. And I said, Perfect. That's all right. Let's just get some proper testing done. So I get the stool sample test done. I'm dropping off at my local labs and within that following week he calls me and he goes So we got your results back. And it came back positive for blood, which I knew it would. So I'm like, okay, great. And he goes, Yeah, that's not great. So I'm going to refer you to a gastroenterol allergist which is all I wanted in the first place, you know? And I was like That should have been done in January But because of COVID and everything being slow moving I didn't get an appointment a virtual appointment with my gastroenterologist until May. So a couple of months later. And in this time, I mean, my symptoms are so exasperated, so bad. You know, I remember in early May of 2020, the Black Lives Matter protests and marches were happening, and me and my friends wanted to go out and support. And it was a hot day. And I just remember feeling really dizzy and really fit to the point where I had to we at one point we all got down on the ground and then I couldn't get back up. My vision went blank I was like, something. It's not like I just I can't. I'm very dizzy and like, my vision just blacked out. I need to, like, sit for a second. So my friend's husband sat with me while they, like, went on and finally, like, found the energy to, like, get up and start walking. But I just knew and I remember looking at her and I was like I think it's connected to the symptoms here. Like, I think it's like I know that it's related. So even more, I was just ready to see the gastro. So I see my gastroenterologist finally and he kind of echoes what my primary care said. Well, you know, you're young you're a healthy girl you have no history of colon cancer in your family. These symptoms are very common. Amanda. You know, there's you know, we'll test you for ulcerative colitis and we'll test you for Crohn's, which are both very serious chronic diseases like you want to, you know, be taken seriously for. And he was like, but you know, the odds of colon cancer are so slim so don't let your mind go there. But how can it not you know, how can it not when the symptoms are not getting any better? They are consistent and they are persistent. So I'm like, okay, he was like, we'll get you in for a colonoscopy. And I said, How fast can we get that? It's like, Well, we have to like, you know, get your insurance to approve it, which trying to get
a colonoscopy approved for a 29 year old girl with no preexisting anything is seemingly impossible. And so the referral went in for the gastro and then it's almost like it got lost in limbo. I didn't hear anything back from my insurance. I never got the authorization in the mail. I called them. I said, hey, I mean,
I was my own secretary and I was going back and forth and they're like, Hey, we're super busy with COVID. Like, you know, sorry about the delays. Like, I was on hold for so long and I just remember calling them every single day. In the midst of all of this I my anxiety is an all time high. I've never dealt with anxiety. I've never dealt with panic attacks. I've never, ever in my life dealt with it. And I sympathize with anyone who deals with it on a daily basis or deals with this, you know, like all the time, because it is the worst thing that you could deal with. I mean, my life just felt I, I felt so alone and lost and just confused. And I was like, I feel like I'm going to die and I feel like no one's listening to me. And then finally, I got
the colonoscopy scheduled in July so that it was May. So I had to go two more months So I go for my colonoscopy in July. And of course, there's hoops and hurdles to get there. It finally gets approved. And I remember being like, okay, like I've gotten this far for a now almost a year of symptoms and I'm at the homestretch. I'm going to get my answers and I remember like taking a video on my phone when I was waiting for my friend to pick me up to take me to the hospital. And I was just like, Can I get my answer today? Like And so I go to the hospital and have my colonoscopy. All the nurses were lovely. They were so kind and they were all super reassuring, like, hey, like, you're going to be fine. You know, don't sweat it. And then once they hooked up, you know, the drugs to you and you're like, loopy or you're great, you're gold. And I'm like Let's just get this going. When I woke up from the colonoscopy I remember looking around the room and the nurses were there and they were kind of just like, quiet. And then the doctor comes in and he kind of just like you know, bedside manner or whatever. I know like doctors are very clinical and like to the point but it was just like we found a large tumor in your sigmoid colon. He said it was a large tumor which we didn't know how large until my surgery, which is crazy but it was a large tumor that had grown in my colon. And I just remember being like, I have to I have to wait for these results. And then my doctor called and he goes, So pathology came back and it is cancer. Please come to my office right away for the next steps. And I you are never prepared to hear that. But in the same sense, I do. Like I know this whole time I knew I had been saying colon cancer since September, October, so it's like it wasn't like this was new information. I was like, Yeah, that checks out like that. Everything checks out. So I just remember I sat up immediately because I was laying down when I got the phone call. I sat up immediately and I was like okay, do I just come now? And he was like Yeah, come now. The things that start going in your mind How long did I let this go? Like, did I not fight hard enough for myself? Like my symptoms have been going on since September of last year? Like,
surely it's all over my body by now. You just your brain starts going like this and we get into the office and he gives me all my paperwork. He gives me, you know, the next steps. He goes, I'm
going to refer you to a surgeon. If the cancer has spread, you will need chemo. If it's localized, we'll just, you know,
it'll just be surgery. It was very like all at once, like the same day. I heard the diagnosis, like, a lot of information. I'm like, okay. And I just remember being looked at by everyone in the office as I was leaving. Like all the secretaries and all the admin people, they're looking at me like I have six heads, like, here's a girl who's just dying of cancer, You know?
I'm like, I'm just like, okay, bye bye. And then you get a lot of We're praying for you. And that's like, you know, as nice as that is, when you just get diagnosed and you hear a bunch of people saying, We're praying for you, you're like, Oh, this is like, this is going to be a whole thing. This is scary. Yeah. So that was the day I was diagnosed. So I didn't find out the stage until after my surgery. So I finally got my surgery a month later which in hindsight is about right. You have your surgery a few weeks after diagnosis. It just felt like forever. My surgery. I had a I think it's called a hemicolectomy. I just say a colon resection. I don't have like the proper clinical terms for it but they removed my sigmoid colon. And so they went in laparoscopically. So I just had two little scars. It's not like I have this, like huge thing where they cut me open or anything. It was all done through two little incisions and they went in and they took out that part of the colon and resected it. So I have my surgery and I didn't find out my stage until after the surgery when I met with my oncologist. So the surgeon took out the tumor, said it was a large tumor. Told me he poked around in there that there was no visible evidence of mistakes. This, you know,
he said the liver looked good. Everything else look clear. He was like, I think you caught this early. But like, obviously you have to have a scan and meet
with an oncologist to be. Stories of my lymph nodes are clear, which was a huge relief. You tested 28 lymph nodes. And so that was all great news. I remember like the relief of that. And a couple weeks later I met with my oncologist at Cedars and he was lovely. He was the best doctor up to this point that I'd had the most triggering the most understanding and empathetic. He's still in his stage name. So he goes over my pathology report and I'm there with my friend and I'm terrified. You know, you just you just don't want to hear the worst thing, like terminal stage four, not curable. And, you know, you want to hear those words, but you have to prepare yourself for those words. You just have to kind of brace yourself and go him. And the first thing he said to me was before I say anything, it's like,
I'm really sorry this happened to you. Like,
this should have never happened to you. And I just started sobbing like, thank you. Like, finally I just felt like this doctor's, like, taking me seriously and my cares, and it was just overwhelming. And I just really felt that I'm like, This is the person who should be a doctor. Like, this guy cares. And he was like, I looks at your pathology report is like an A man that looks really, really good. You did really good. You got it in time. And I was like, Oh my God. I started crying. He was like, He went over everything. He, like,
showed me the pathology report. He told me what everything meant. And he was like where I would stage you. Obviously we don't know until you get scans. He was like, But where I would say you right
now is stage two A which, if you're familiar with staging and for colon cancer anywhere it starts at stage zero then goes one, two, three, four. And then they have like somebody just like one, two, three, eight like be like ABC for every stage. So I was early stage two Stage two C would be a little bit more in stage three I believe is if it was involved in a lymph node, even if it were just one in the staging goes by. How, how much of the colon wall, the tumor chewed through. So it's on my pathology. I don't have it with me, but like my tumor had chewed through like the first layer, which makes it stage two A as opposed to like stage one C or something. So it was just starting to like to chew through and it was very large. So I just remember being like, great. Like I caught this in time. It was very emotional. I was with my friend. I was so happy, so relieved. The surgery was done. It was out of me. And he goes, He was like, You have something called lymphoma vascular invasion. They found that. And I was like, Well, what does that mean? You know, it was like, well, you know,
they didn't find cancer in your lymph nodes, but they found the DNA of the cancer in blood vessels surrounding the tumor in the tissue, which means you're at high risk for this returning. And so I was like, okay, what do we do? He was like, well, there's no real evidence of your cancer, you know, in anywhere in your body, like, you know, but you have the option to proceed with chemo if you want. He was like, Obviously it's your choice. You don't have to do the chemo. He was like, But I highly recommend that you do to reduce the odds of this coming back. And that's all I needed to hear. I was like, Well, duh, I'm going to do the chemo. Like, of course I'm going to do chemo. And again, you know, I don't think I was really ready for what that meant, but I was just like, sure. Like, whatever lowers my chance of I don't want to ever deal with this again. I told my oncologist I wanted to start chemo and that was in September. you know, I'm feeling great at this point. Recovered for my surgery. I feel back to myself. I feel, you know, I'm not bleeding anymore. Obviously, there's no trauma. I feel great. and I'm still like, I felt crazy because I'm like, I'm fighting for chemo right now and I feel like I don't need it. Like,
my scan was clear in October, like, you know, so it was almost this weird, like, I'm fighting for something that like, of course, like I need to keep this from returning, but I feel so good, like I haven't felt this good in so long. And finally it got approved. So my course of treatment was Kay Box, which is a oxaliplatin is the the I.V. chemo. And then there's a loader, which is the pill form of chemo, and that's a combo. And my oncologist want to do the convoy's like, this is very common. This is one of the standard routes, most effective routes for colon cancer maintenance, Chemo to you keep this from recurring. He also told me it was one of the most like toxic and hard on the body. And it's not fun. So I started in December. I got my port place in December, I think December 15th of 2020. I got placed in. Then the 16th I started chemo. So I got in port place the day before chemo. Which a port. If anyone's watching, if anyone is in the early stages of their cancer battle and is afraid of getting a port, let me put your mind at ease. You feel nothing. You're loopy. It's done in 20 minutes. These doctors do a bunch of them a day. It's so easy and you'll be grateful for it. It will save your veins. Trust me. It's like I'm in port Place. Started chemo the next day, and so was a low dose. A lot
is the pill form of chemo. So I was doing chemo every other week I would go in every other Tuesday and on that Tuesday that I would go in for treatment. I would start my pills. So I would do three pills in the morning and three pills at night, and I would take my three pills when I was hooked up to chemo. So I would start my chemo, take my three pills, have my chemo, go home, take my pills at night, go to sleep the day after chemo. The Wednesday after I would go in for a treatment, I would go back to the oncologist office and I would get a shot that I think the drug is called zero and they would give me the shot to boost my white blood cells, which is great because chemo kills your white blood cells. They want to make sure you don't get sick. They want to make sure that you can come back for chemo, you know, the following week and be good. So that would boost my white blood cells. That shot was what made me feel so bad. That shot would make me so it would make my body ache. I mean, for summary, I don't know what it is about that shot, but my entire body would feel like it got hit by a truck. So I would go in for that shot and then they would hook me up to hydration. So I'd be at chemo on Wednesday just for the hydration drip or they hook you up right
through your part again. And I'm sitting there and then after about Wednesday, then you're good for, you know, the week, you know, or, you know, the two weeks because I would go every other Tuesday and the five days following chemo are the worst and it's cumulative. But I remember leaving the cancer center that first time being like, That's about it all. Like, I actually feel fine, you know? And then they're like, Well, you know, just go home and rest and, you know,
just go home and rest. So I went home and that's when it starts coming the day after the third day, the fourth day. And I mean, you can't even, like, lift up your arms. The nausea is terrible. They gave you a list of all the potential side effects of what comes with these with these drugs and these cancer treatments. And they talked about neuropathy and they were like, Don't touch anything cold. And I just asked you listen to them, but you don't really rationalize it. So I remember the first time, like I went into my fridge and I grabbed juice or something and it felt like, like a
since like your fingertips, like when you touch something cold,
it feels like a singe, almost like think of when you get shocks, but like a permanent shock. And it just is like singeing your the tips of your fingers and you're like, Oh, that's what it means. But it would go away when they would stop touching something cold. So I was like, okay, I just won't touch anything cold. And then as the weeks went on and I had more treatments it became something completely different. It was like, Oh, now they're starting to get numb in my feet and my legs are starting to get numb to the I would compare your feet in legs to when your foot falls asleep and you go off to walk and you're like, Oh my God. It's like you feel that sensation. That's what it feels like. Almost like a dead leg. yeah, I just the the side effects were cumulative and I just remember being like, Oh, this sucks. Like, this is the part of cancer where, you know, I feel like people know it's bad, but unless they've gone through it themselves or seen someone go through it, they don't really know how awful it is. Yeah. So every six months I get a CAT scan and then your CAT scan, I feel like they always find little like, things. So they found a fibroid in my breast. So I have to go in for mammograms and ultrasounds to monitor that. So it's like I feel lucky in a sense that I'm being watched so carefully and closely because I'll catch anything. So I go for a CAT scan every six months. I go for a colonoscopy. Now every three years I do have one coming up in July that I requested because I found a polyp in my last one. So I was like, I kind of want to do one this year just to make sure I don't have polyps growing at a rapid rate. And yeah, and then bloodwork every three months I see my oncologist every three months for bloodwork and that's always been good. And in that bloodwork, they're just looking at your cancer biomarkers, They're looking to see if your biomarkers are being raised or if they're saying that normal range. Luckily my all my biomarkers have been in the normal range. You know, they did a lot of genetic testing on me with my tumor and they did find out that I do have some mutations that involved colon cancer. There's a mutation for kidney cancer and skin cancer. So they're keeping an eye on all my kidney function, really taking a look at my kidneys on those scans. I'm making sure I'm going to a dermatologist you know
getting skin lesions checked and freckles and moles and all that checked out. So They're really keeping a close eye on me. And as you know, it's a pain in the butt. It's completely it's not a normal life by any means but like, I would rather have that than the alternative. So, yeah. So I am monitored very frequently and I'm also on top of it. I know everyone's journey is different but there is beauty in this awful disease and that it opens your eyes to a lot of amazing things. And my patience has grown. it gets better if you are going through this. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. My empathy has grown towards people. I just be patient with each other be patient with yourself. And just I mean you hear it all the time but listen to your body. You know, listen to your body. Get checked. Stay on top of your health. Don't think it can happen to you because it can. I am a walking example of that. And yeah, just take care of yourself.
