Matt Passed Away...

well um i've tried to film this like five times already matt passed away my name is lauren and i am one of matt's best friends and i'm here making this video because he asked me to he asked me to a few days ago he texted me asking me for help which he never does she's never asked for help the entire time i've known him this past year just it wrecked him matt that opens up a lot on this channel enough to where you kind of understand a little bit how he is as a person but i've known matt my i want to say my whole entire life like since i was in sixth grade me and him have something in common and that is that we had a hard time making friends i we both shared the same fear of oblivion we both felt like we didn't know where we belonged and he was wrong he was wrong and and now i know i'm wrong i see all these statuses all these not statuses but the post on his wall of how much he touched people i just wish he knew that guys probably are wondering what happened so here it goes whenever he texted me asking me for help with the gofundme on may 4th that was last time i heard heard from him i wanted to make the video when i wanted to make a gofundme so if any of you guys wanted to support him you could and i was dumb enough i did not ask for his the information i needed to make the gofundme so i just put off the video because i thought oh he's come out of he's he's i'm sorry i puffed the video because i thought that he was gonna come out of this because he's come out of things before you know even whenever his mom texted me like after may 4th and i asked that i didn't receive a text back from him i received a text back from his mom and that's when i kind of think in that i don't know if he's going to come out of this and when i say i filmed this video five times i didn't know what to say i didn't know what to say because i didn't know if he was gonna come out for the first time i didn't know if he was gay come out but then his mom started writing statuses on his facebook and it made me seem like maybe she kept on saying he was stable he was holding in on there and then at one am pacific time i looked at facebook and his brother said my brother just died when i saw that status um i dropped my knees because for me i've never ever lost a friend that i knew super super well but he was my best friend he was my best friend because we shared in common that we wanted to feel needed we wanted to feel like we belonged we feared oblivion that when we died the only people that would come what's our family members i'm glad he was wrong i'm glad i just wish he knew how many people liked him loved him you guys know this year has been super super tough for him he shared on this channel how his wife left him while he was in the hospital and she took his their kids and he never saw them again he wasn't there for his son's first birthday first christmas he talked about them nonstop he hurt so bad all he wanted was his kiss when she left him she took all hope and that was it i don't know i wasn't there but it just seemed like after that you really tried for the first couple months but the weight of that loss the weight of that gap in his heart where his kids were supposed to be it was too much i think it was too much i don't know maybe i think he ate decently still but i know i talked to him on the phone i asked him what exercises he did i was saying how the weather wasn't very good so he hasn't really he wasn't really doing a lot of exercises still i knew he was depressed he died with a wife and without kids without his kids and he feared that he didn't want to die that way and the last time i talked to him on the on the phone we were talking about how he went as kids and i was saying that even though he didn't have memories with his son now doesn't mean he couldn't make memories he just had to work a little harder i had to eat a little healthier i would do everything i could to like see his kids you know try to figure out how to see his kids i don't know exactly how he died because i was at the hospital but i do know he hurt he hurt a lot and he tried to keep his head up this is really unreal for me because i still feel like he's here and i just really can't imagine life without my best friend and i have to you know i know he would want me to tell you guys that when he watched his when he watched this channel take off he was happy he felt like his work paid off like and that didn't give him hope that people were gonna support him did like him he needed a village and you guys gave him that village by following his journey i don't know other than i'm gonna miss him every single day okay guys didn't give him hope he was really really happy and appreciative that so many people wanted to follow his journey he was going to try so hard people say it's never too late but i don't know because he's gone now it's too late now it's too late for him to be able to be with his kids walk his daughter down the aisle first off it's gonna be a long time but she's only like i don't know four i think she's four but just walking her to the first day of school be there when she starts liking boys giving her advice he's gonna miss her going well having quinceanera graduating going to prom her grandkids junior's grandkids giving him advice father to son and that's all he ever wanted he just wanted a family he wanted a wife that loved it he wanted a ton of kids and he wanted to be successful wanting to be able to provide for his family and ain't get that opportunity so you know i really wish i could say the next time he would come on but there is no next time i was gonna say that yesterday too i sat down here trying to figure out what i was gonna say to this on the video i was good i was seeing at the end of this of the videos i was trying to record yesterday next time hopefully you will see his face not mine you guys won't see his face i know that you could make a difference i know he made a difference already but i know how many more lives you could have touched how many people are still out there that feel the same exact way you just you did anyway i never wanted to make this video okay here i am making this video thank you again guys for supporting him you guys gave him the village he wanted he felt like people were actually hearing him okay

Channel: MAK Family

Views: 306

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Id: mMp4og0XGJo

Length: 17min 39sec (1059 seconds)

Published: Fri May 14 2021