[MUSIC] Hello, how are we doing? Excellent, very good. I am thrilled to be here and
I'm thrilled to be talking about the topic of how to make our
communication memorable. So today is all about specific tips and
tricks that you can use so that you can help yourself remember what your trying to
say, and to help your audience remember. While i like communicating,
I love hearing you communicate as well. So today is going to be participative, and
i invite you to participate as much, or as little as you like. So let's go ahead and get started, and
you'll see by some of the imagery that I'm using, I'm trying to keep
a very serious subject playful. So when I ask my students or the people
I coach, what worries you the most? What concerns you the most? I hear two things all the time. I'm afraid I'm not going to
remember what I need to say. Followed immediately by, I'm afraid my audience isn't
going to remember what I say. So today is all about trying to
give those tools that we can use to make sure that our
communication is memorable, and we'll start by looking at how we can
help ourselves remember our content. And then we'll move forward and we'll talk about how to make sure
that your content is memorable. And we'll start by talking
about presentation hygiene. To me, presentation hygiene is about what
you do to prepare for your communication. Not the actual practice,
which we will talk about, but specifically what you do in your
life to get yourself ready. So to begin, one of the most important things we
can do is make sure that we eat well. I coached an individual who kept getting
promoted in his organization, and he noticed that as he got promoted, he got
more nervous, and more forgetful when he gave presentations and random meetings,
and I asked him, why do you think that is? And he had no idea. And I said walk me through your day. And what we learned was, as he kept getting promoted,
his diet got worse and worse. He was drinking more caffeine,
he was eating more fast food, and he couldn't remember well. By looking into some nutritional advice, by eating more healthy, he actually
regained his confidence and his memory. Preparing for a presentation or an
important meeting, like you would prepare for some kind of athletic event,
is exactly what you should do. Make sure that you treat
your diet well and that you focus on elements
like what you eat, and when you eat certain foods to
make sure you're prepared. Quick bit for advice, caffeine while
preparing your communication but not before you deliver your communication. In addition to eating, we also have
to make sure that we exercise. We have to make sure that
our body is warmed up, and it works very well to
reduce stress that we have. So instead of spending a whole night
cramming for that big meeting or that big presentation,
it's far better to do a little exercise, to breath deeply, and
get a good night's sleep. Sleep is critical to memory formation and to making sure you have the energy
you need to communicate effectively. So simply hygiene, what you eat,
the exercise you do, the sleep you get, can really help. Now, we live in a valley of technology. So part of our hygiene in preparation
needs to focus on technology. There are myriad of apps and
tools that you can use to help yourself become a better,
more effective communicator. I'm going to list several, here. These are tools that range from helping
you reduce the number of disfluencies you have, those are the ums,
uhs, likes and I means. All the way through tools that help you
with your vocal intensity and your flow. One of these tools actually
allows you to don VR goggles, and see an imaginary audience. An audience you can determine if it's
friendly or hostile, big or small. You can even see your slide deck
behind you in a virtual world. Leverage tools to help you
with your preparation. This is the first step to being
an effective, memorable communicator. Next, we actually have to think about
the messages that we communicate, and I believe all effective communication, all high-stakes communication,
must start with a goal. And to me,
a goal has three key components. It's about information,
emotion, and action. At the end of your meeting,
at the end of your presentation, at the end of your email,
what do you want your audience to know? How do you want them to feel,
and what do you want them to do? You should be able to articulate your goal
clearly before you create your content. My goal for us today is simple. I'd like for each and every one of
you to leave here with some tools and tactics you can use to be more memorable. I want you to feel confident, and
dare I say excited to try these tools, and ultimately, I'd love for you to use them. Each of you needs to think
about what is your goal for your upcoming high stakes communication. And by the way, having a goal not
only helps you focus what you say, it also helps you assess
the success of your communication. In the work I do with my students, here,
and the consulting I do around the world, I often ask people, how do you know
if your communication was successful? And the most frequent answer I get is,
I got through it. Survival becomes the success criteria,
and that's not where we want to be. If you have a goal, you can actually
assess were you successful. Do the people know what
I wanted them to know? Are they feeling the way I want
them to feel, and ultimately, are they doing what I wanted? So having a goal helps you
not only hone your message, it helps you assess its success. So once we have that goal, we then need to think about how do
we best communicate our message? And I am a huge proponent of structure. Structure is critical to
success in communication. Structure helps us in two ways. First, it helps us to set our
audience's expectations, and second, it helps our audience to remember. I learned this first rule
very early in my life. When I was an undergraduate here
at Stanford, I was a tour guide. They trained me for 12 weeks of full
academic quarter to be a tour guide. To this day, I can still work
backwards in a straight line. What do you think was the most
important thing they taught us during that full quarter in terms
of being a good tour guide here? What do you think? Shout out some of the things. >> Smile.
>> Smile, What else? >> Make people feel welcome. >> Make people feel welcome. What else? >> Project. >> Project, be nice. The best thing, listen, the best and most important thing they said to be a
good tour guide is never lose your group. >> [LAUGH]. >> You are a bad tour guide if you lose
your tour group, and here on campus, they were afraid of people get lost,
they might get hurt. The same thing is true
in your communication. Never lose your audience,
because once you lose, them it's very hard to get them back. They go to their phones. They go to their friends. They go to sleep. We need to keep them with us. Setting expectations helps. Would you join me on my tour if I showed
up and I said, hi, I'm Matt, let's go? Couple of you adventurers folks would
come but the rest of you be like no way. Where are we going? Why are we going there? Do I have the right shoes on? That's why tour guides always set
expectations that structure helps prepare you so you can be present and
enjoy the tour. Structuring your communication
does the same thing, but structure also helps with memory for
you and for your audience. It provides a map, and
you can't be lost if you have a map. So allow me to share with you
three of my favorite structures. That once you have your goal
you place your content into. The first structure is a comparison
contrast conclusion structure. You list things in common,
you list things that are different, and then you identify your
particular conclusion. Another structure that works very well is
the problem solution benefit structure. You start by talking about
what the problem is. You then talk about how you solve it,
and ultimately, you end with the benefits
to the person listening. Now, sometimes the problem isn't really
a problem, it's really an opportunity. So this could become the opportunity
solution benefit structure as well. Now finally, my most favorite structure,
and I'm the kind of guy that has a favorite structure, is the what,
so what, now what structure. In this structure, you start by defining
what it is you're talking about. A product, a process, an idea. You then talk about why it's important
to the people you're talking to. That's the so what, and
then the now what are the next steps. What can somebody do
with that information? I like this structure so much because
it not only helps with presenting, but it's a great way to set
up a meeting agenda. It's a good way to structure an email. You can even give feedback and
answer questions in this structure. I encourage each and every one of you to try putting your
communication into this structure. Now, I'm smiling and
I'm going to take a time out. This is a meta moment for us. I just used what, so what, now what
to explain what, so what, now what. I told you what it was, why it was
important, and how you can use it. Take these structures or
any structure you find beneficial, and leverage it to make your communication
memorable for you and your audience. We start with a goal and
then we put it in a structure. All right, enough of me talking. We're going to put this all together. I'm going to ask you to find
a partner in one moment, and I'm going to task you to do something
with one of these structures. So to begin, how many of you remember
what this device is up here? It's a slinky, a children's toy,
whose sole purpose, I think, is to walk down stairs. Except in my house, it never worked. You are going to sell a slinky to your
partner, and then your partner will sell the very same slinky back to you using
the problem solution benefit structure. Identify a problem. Explain the solution and
explain the benefit. Now, one caveat. This cannot be a children's toy. You have to make it up
to be something else. I never ask my students to do
something I'm not willing to do, so allow me to demonstrate. Have you all heard of a terrible
plight affecting the African Savanna? Day after day,
week after week elephants are dying. Why, you ask? Because their trunks are getting cold. >> [LAUGH]
>> Allow me to introduce you to an expandable elephant trunk warmer. >> [LAUGH]
>> With these cheap very effective supplies and tools, you can reduce the deaths of
elephants on the African Savannah. Each of us must do our part. Problem, solution, benefit. Here's what you're going to do. You're going to find a partner. For some of you,
it's just turn to the person next of you. A few of you might need
to move around the room. You have one minute each to sell
your device to your partner. Ready, begin. So I'm very curious. I'm very curious. What did this device become for
some of you? Raise your hand. I'll call on you.
What was this? >> A cup holder. >> A cup holder. What was it back there? >> For electric cords. You put your cords in one section. You can stretch it around the room and
then- >> It's a koozie for electric cords. Yes, sir, please. >> An egg timer.
>> An egg timer. The egg sort of rolls down. Yes, please. >> A peaceful way to track gophers. >> [LAUGH] A politically
correct way to trap gophers. Yes, sir. >> It's an exercise tool. In the back. >> A bagel slicer. >> A bagel slicer. Multiple bagel slicer, excellent. I don't know what you and
your partner came up with, but in looking out at you,
you are having a lot of fun. The pantamiming was fantastic. Let me ask you this,
though, in all seriousness. Was the structure helpful in
your creating your pitch? I see several of you nodding your head. In what ways did the structure help you? What did it do for you? It helps you focus on the problem. What else does it do for you? >> It helps you remember. >> It helps you remember where
to go from one to the next. What else, the sequence? >> Finish.
>> It helps you finish. In a lot of the teaching and
coaching I do, people tell me, Matt, I don't have a problem communicating. I have a problem stopping communicating. So the structure actually
gives you a place to finish. After I say the benefits, I'm done. It also helps you move from
one place to the next. It has built in transitions. So the flow is easier. So structure helps in memory, but
it has a lot of other added benefits. So once we've taken care of
our personal hygiene, and we then think about our goal and
our structure, the next thing we have to do to help
with our own memory is practice. So I'd like to give you some advice and
guidance on practicing. First, when you practice
actually stand and speak. If you're in a meeting or you're preparing
for a presentation, stand up and practice. I know how most people practice. We open up our slide
deck that we've created. We sit and we look at each slide,
and we think to ourselves hm. That's what I'll say. Mm-hm, that's what I'll say. I don't know about you, but
in my mind, I'm amazingly eloquent. [LAUGH]
>> But when I open up my mouth, I'm not always as lucky, so it's useful
and practical to actually stand and speak, and standing helps you focus. When I teach my class here on effective
virtual communication, that's where you're doing webinar or video conference,
I encourage all of my students to stand. Adjust the camera, and stand. It helps you focus. It allows you to use your voice,
fully and completely. It is a very useful tool. Beyond standing to practice,
we need to make sure we warm up. Most speakers, especially those who
are nervous, go inside themselves and they think, and they think, and they
worry, and we don't warm up our voice. So our first utterances aren't
necessarily our strongest. I believe warming up is critical. So I'm going to ask you to help me do the
world's quickest and easiest vocal warmer. We are simply going to say
two words a few times each. And those two words are tea
cup followed by hiccup. So I'm going to ask you to say
each word three times in a pair. So it's going to be teacup, hiccup,
teacup, hiccup, teacup, hiccup. And we're all going to say it out loud. And I want you to notice where in your
mouth those two words get produced. With me, ready, begin. Teacup, hiccup, teacup,
hiccup, teacup, hiccup. And we have a couple of extra credit,
yes, yes, yes I know, we are here, it's Stanford Business School,
everybody does the extra. >> [LAUGH]
>> When you say teacup, where in your mouth those that come from? Front top. When you say hiccup,
where does that come from? Back, lower. You've warmed up your whole voice. Very simple. Now, I'm not saying you get up in front
of your very important meeting and say one moment please,
teacup, teacup, teacup. You do this before you enter the room. I like to go around and
talk to people in my audiences, in my meetings I like to make
sure I get there early and talk to people as they come in,
that's my way of warming up. Make sure you're warmed up. For those of you who do athletics or
who exercise, you know warming up is important. The same is true with your communication. So we practice standing up,
we warm up our voice. Now, when we practice, there's some really
good research in learning theory and cognitive neuroscience that tells us
chunking your information is very useful. Take pieces of it and
practice each piece separately, and then assemble it in different ways. So if you're giving a big presentation,
perhaps you practice the beginning, then the middle, then the end. And then the next time you do the middle,
the end, the beginning? That form of chunking helps
you to remember each part. And it helps you avoid being
in a particular pattern. Memorization actually works against you
when you are in a high stress situation. Because if you deviate from the script,
you're lost. So if you are very familiar with
what you're talking about and practicing in a chunked
manner helps you do that. It also helps you give
attention to the end. Most people because we're so nervous
about how we're going to start practice the beginning a lot more than the rest. So, we figure, by the time I get to
the end I'll know how to finish. Do you know the most
common way meetings and presentations end in the corporate world? I guess we're out of time and
somebody needs the room. Thanks. That is not the most effective
way to end a presentation, so you must practice each part, and
each part individually, very helpful. Now, research done not very far from here
in the psychology department several decades ago on the Stanford campus. They did a tremendous amount of
work on how where you actually learn something influences and
impacts how you recall it. So if you practice in a situation that
is similar to the situation in which you will communicate, you are more
likely to remember the information. So any of you who are parents, who've instructed your children
when they're studying for a test or a quiz to study in a quiet place,
you're actually doing them a service. You're helping them. My children like to study with
lots of noise and devices, yet when they take their exams or have to
write their essays, it's in silence, that's actually causing a problem
in terms of their memory. So if possible, go into the venue
that you'll be presenting in, practice in there, that will help you. So there's some very specific
things we can do to help prepare. But what happens if we go blank? What happens if we forget? This is the number one
fear people report to me. So let me give you some advice
on how to handle blanking out. First don't acknowledge it. Man I just forgot. Instead leverage two techniques
I'd like to suggest. First repeat what you just said, and
see if that gets you back on track. When you lose your keys
how do you find them? You retrace your steps. Do the same in your presentations. For some reason, when we're presenting or
running meetings, and we blank out, all we do is think about all the things
that we need to do or say in the future. I only have ten more minutes left. This is really important. I have to get the funding. That's all future thinking. You would never do that
if you lost your keys. If you lose your keys, you don't stand
there and say, I have to get to the store, I have to pick up the,
we don't talk about the future, we'd say where did I put those keys. We'd go back. Repeat what you just said. Most of us can remember what we said
even if we can't remember what we intend to say. And simply by repeating yourself,
it often will get you back on track. Now if that doesn't work,
let me give you a second tool. And I'm going to let you in on
a little secret when I teach. And I have some former students here, so you're going to hear something you
heard when you were a student of mine. Have a back pocket question at the ready. So if you forget, simply pause and ask
your audience a question thereby giving yourself time to collect your thoughts,
check your notes, get back on track. Here's what I do in my lectures when I
can't remember what I need to say next. I'll simply pause and say, this is
a good place for us to take a pause, and I'd like for you to reflect on
something that we've just discussed and how it applies to you and your life. And do you know what my students do? They pause and reflect on how their life
has changed based on this information. And what am I doing? I'm thinking what's next? Where do I go? I check my notes. Now, if I'm really lost I'll say,
turn to your partner next to you and tell them the impact that has. >> [LAUGH]
>> And my students think, wow, Matt really cares. And I do, but I'm also finding my place. I want each of you to think about for
the types of communication you do, what are some questions you
could ask midway through or perhaps towards the end or
even at the beginning, that. Would engage your audience in reflection
and distract them from paying attention to the fact that you don't know
where you are so you can find out. There are lots of types of
questions that you can ask. Have them at the ready. Simply by knowing that you can repeat
yourself, go back to go forward or that you have a back pocket question makes most
people feel comfortable and confident. When they present which therefore
makes them more able to get through their presentation and less
likely to forget what they want to say. So the next time you fear blanking out,
know you have tools to get you through it. So we've talked about what we can
do to help ourselves remember. We've talked about hygiene. That's what we eat, we exercise,
we sleep, we leverage technology. We've talked about how we prepare
by having a goal, know, feel, do, and then creating a structure. And then we've talked
about ways to practice. We stand up, we chunk information,
we practice in the real environment. I'd like now to flip the coin and I'd like to talk about what we can
do to help our audience remember. And this involved three things too. It involves using variation, it involves
making sure our content is relevant and finally how can we leverage
emotion to make ideas stick. So let's start. We're going to talk about variation. We're going to talk about
variety in several ways. First, we're going to talk
about variation in your voice. Evolution has designed humans to pay
attention to variety, to novelty. If something stays the same, We habituate. If I were to have talked like this for
my entire lecture you would no longer be paying attention and
likely, be asleep. Variety is what keeps us focused. So you must put variation in your voice. How do you do that? Well, record yourself and listen. Do you have variation? If you notice that you don't have variety,
use emotive words. When we invoke emotive words,
we tend to reflect their meaning. So I might say this is
a really big challenge. I wouldn't say this is
a really big challenge. The words really and big invite that kind of vocal emphasis. When you are practicing,
make sure that you extend and exaggerate the way you would
normally say something. When we get nervous, we tense up and
our vocal cords, our muscles and they tense up too. So if my normal vocal range is here and
I get nervous it becomes here. So when I practice,
I purposely practice in an exaggerated way knowing that when I get nervous it
will come back to my normal range. Be mindful of your voice and
the variation in it. We must also use variation, but
before we get to the next point, we also have to practice. I would like all of you to
notice this word up here. What is the word. We're going to say, in a variety of ways to make sure
that we have variation in our voice. In a moment, I'm going to ask you to say
as if a heavy object dropped on your foot. You might say a naughty word after you
say but I want us all to practice. Okay, on the count of three,
something heavy dropped on your foot, I want you to say. Ready, one, two, three. >> That was great.
Now, you just saw something so adorable and cute. Ready, one, two, three. >> Now you've just made a terrible
mistake and you're really sorry, how would you say? Ready, one, two, three. >> [LAUGH]
>> Look what you just did. You were able to take
a very simple word and you were able to convey different
meaning by varying your voice. Imagine what you could do
in complex sentences and in an entire presentation or meeting. Variety in your voice is
what makes it engaging. We also need to think about
variety in the evidence and support that we use when we communicate. There are lots of things we can do to
encourage people to believe what we're saying, to motivate them to change,
to educate them. One type of evidence we can use is data. We use lots and lots of data in our lives. When you use data,
make sure you provide context so that people understand what it means. But data is but
one type of evidence you could use. Another type of evidence
has to do with testimonies. Third party voices,
other people advocating or supporting what it is you say. And then, finally, there are stories,
examples, use cases, these too add value. Here's the key,
you must use variety among these types. Most of us communicate using the type
that we are most comfortable with, what we like. If I'm a data person when I communicate,
I use a lot of data. If I'm a storyteller,
I tell lots of stories. The problem is my audience
isn't all like me. So I have to cast a wide net. I have to use variety
in the support I use. Maybe I give a testimony and
give some data. Maybe I put both the testimony and
the data in a story. This helps my audience understand and
remember my points. Use variety to help you
support your points. We also have to think about variety in
terms of the images and visuals we use. You'll notice that many of my visuals
are referring to children's play or toys, and they vary. The idea is to keep the audience engaged. If all you show people is bullet point
after bullet point after bullet point, they will habituate. Remember, bullets kill. Don't kill your audience
with bullet points. >> [LAUGH]
>> Use images. Now variation is important but
so too is relevance. You must make sure that your content is
meaningful and relevant to your audience. That means we have to do
some reconnaissance and reflection about who's in the room. Who's listening to my communication,
who's reading my messages? And we must tailor our
messages to their needs. Well some of you will get upset to hear
me say this, you need to change and adapt your communication audience
by audience, time by time. Does that mean more work for you? Yes, but does it mean that the impact and the relevance your message
will have will be greater? Yes, and that's why we do it. So we need to tailor our messages for
our audience in several factors. One, we have to first think
about their knowledge. What do they know about
what we're speaking on? We don't want to come in too high level. We don't want to get too deep. We need to meet our
audience where they're at. So you have to think about that. You have to do some reflection. You have to ask people
who are in the audience. Talk to people who have spoken
to this audience before. And ask what's their knowledge level. You must also think about
their expectations. What is it they expect from you? And then choose to either conform to those
expectations or perhaps deviate from them. And then, finally, you need to understand
what are your audience's attitudes? Are they in favor of what you're
suggesting, are they agnostic, or perhaps hesitant or resistant? And with this information,
we can craft our messages and hone them to be more relevant and
memorable. I want to give you an example. Let's say you are presenting to
an audience that you know is a bit hesitant or
resistant to what you're advocating for. That is valuable information. I might change the way I
structure a message base on it. So you know that problem solution
benefit structure we talked about. If I have a hesitant or
resistant audience, it might be in my best interest to move
the benefits to be the first part. Start by talking about the benefits. Imagine what it would be like if we could,
or what if it was possible to. Get your audience to agree
to that imagined future and that reduces their resistance. You then say, what's in the way
is this particular problem and here's how we solve it. Now I certainly can't guarantee that all
resistance and hesitation will disappear, but I can suggest that by
starting with the benefits, you put yourself in a better position. So understanding your audience,
their knowledge, their expectations, their attitudes can influence and should
influence the way you communicate, so that your audience will receive your
message better and remember it longer. It's not enough just to tailor our
message we also have to make it engaging. And I'd like to suggest some ways
that we can get physical engagement as well as mental engagement. Physical engagement is to have
your audience do something. You could pose a question,
rhetorical or a polling question. You can show a video, provide a schematic. if you're in the virtual world,
have them go to an external website. Have them type something into the chat. Get your audience involved. By having them do something, they are more
likely to engage with the content, which we know increases
the likelihood of their remembering. But physical engagement is not enough. You also need mental engagement,
and there lots of ways to do that. I already alluded to one. Use the word imagine, or
what if, or picture this. We know from research done Two doors down,
the disengages, areas of the brain associated
with attention and retention. So if I can ask you to imagine or
picture this in your mind, you're actually seeing it,
which will help you remember it. Similarly, use analogies, analogies connect what people know to what
they don't, this also makes it stick. I talked about structuring a presentation
is like giving a tour, that's an analogy. By engaging our audience physical and
mentally, they are much more likely to remember what we're saying and have a good
time while you're communicating with them. Finally, we must leverage emotion,
we have known for millennia that emotion is powerful and
engages people and helps them remember. So we need to find ways to
leverage emotion in what we say. Part of that is how we say it,
bring emotion to your messages if it's congruent and
appropriate. Show that you have passion,
show that you have interest, a wonderful technique that comes from
the world of theater and acting. If you are trying to convey something that
you want to be exciting for your audience, think about the time you were excited
right before you deliver that message. By getting yourself into
that physical emotion, you will deliver it more
likely in that way. Now, some of you are thinking,
I get it, emotion is important. But I talk about things that don't have a
lot of emotion, I talk about technology or science, there's not
a lot of emotion there. And you might be right, but
the consequences and implications and results of that science and
technology has potential emotion. If you're saving trees, saving time, saving lives,
there's emotion you can tap into. Take the time to find a way to bring
emotion into your communication, it will help the audience
feel something and remember. So we've talked about several factors that help make your
communication more memorable. We talked about hygiene, that's that
preparation, we talked about structure and practice. We then talked about what you can do to
help your audience in terms of variation and relevance and emotion. These are the levers
that you have to pull, to make your communication
much more memorable. Now I want to see how memorable what
we just did together is for you. So I'm going to ask you to think about
one thing of value that you learned today in our time together. And I want you to turn
to a different partner, somebody perhaps who you
didn't work with last time. And I want you to explain that thing
of value using the what, so what, now what structure. So you're going to tell your
partner what the idea or tool or tactic is, you're going to tell them
why you think that is important. And you're going to then tell
them how you will use it, and then your partner will do the same for
you. I want to know what you're carrying out
of here that will help your communication be more memorable. So find another partner, pick one thing of value, share that
value in the what, so what, now what? We often don't spend time reflecting
on how we communicate, we are so fixated on just getting it done and
moving on that we don't take time. The only way to get better at your
communication is through three things, repetition, reflection, and feedback. You need to give yourself the reps, you need to give yourself opportunities
to communicate and try new ways. Try new structures, try varying your
voice, try new ways of practice. Second, you must reflect and
think about what worked and what didn't work,
what's that definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and
over again, expecting different results? We do that all the time
in our communication, we need to think about what worked and
what didn't. I challenge all of you who lead teams and
other people. At the end of your meetings or
presentations take 30 seconds and deep breathe, what worked and
didn't work in terms of the communication. Not the content but
how we actually communicated. That sends a very powerful message to
your teams that communication matters. And then finally, we need feedback,
find trusted others, friends, family, coworkers who can give
you honest feedback. Use digital recording as a tool
to give yourself feedback, that's how we get better. There are also tools and
resources available to you, and I encourage you to take advantage of them. Here you see a website that I curate
called No Freaking Speaking, and this is a website that has lots
of free content from me and from others you could take advantage of. Stanford Continuing Studies is a hidden
gem that this campus provides, if you live in the local community,
look at the classes they offer. There are a tremendous
number of business and communication classes,
they also have many virtual offerings. For those of you visiting
us from far away, you can take webinar-based
classes from continuing studies. And then finally, Toastmasters,
an international organization designed to help people feel more comfortable and
confident when they communicate. Take time to find avenues to learn and
practice these skills. It is my hope that you are leaving here
today with some specific tactics and techniques you can use. To help you be more memorable and your messages to be more
memorable when you communicate. Before I take your questions, and I invite those questions,
I have two questions for you. Did you learn something today that you
think can help you in your communication? >> Yes. >> Did you have a little bit of fun? >> Yes. >> Then I have done my job. Now I would like to hear what questions
you have of me, there's some microphones in the back, people will get them to you,
they're coming. We'll have here and
then I'll sit over there, yes, sir? Thank you very much,
Brent, that was terrific. >> Thank you. >> Who is the greatest speaker,
in your mind, that's ever lived? >> That is an incredibly hard question. >> Just what first comes to your mind. >> Right. >> Are you going to ask me a question? because you look quite blank. >> No, no, no. >> [LAUGH]
>> I'm not. I have been so moved in the last year by the teenagers who suffered
that great tragedy in Florida. The shooting which was
just absolutely horrific, those young people are among some of
the most eloquent speakers I have heard. And they're not coached,
they're not trained, and in fact, they have actively not sought that out,
they've rejected those who want to help. So when I look at people who've had
an impact, people whose messages are memorable, people who deploy some
of the techniques we've talked about. I look to those teens, and to me,
that is so moving, thank you for that question, yeah. Please, over here. >> [APPLAUSE]
>> You mentioned about talking to an audience that's hostile, but what about an audience that just
doesn't relate to you at all? Sometimes I have talked to a group of
students of color, and trying to figure out exactly how to say something
that they open their minds to hear. And the second question that may be
related is, what's the role of humor? >> Right, so
let me take the second question first, humor is a wonderful way to engage
your audience, if you're funny. >> [LAUGH]
>> Having a shared laugh is a great way to bring people together,
it engages them. The problem is humor is trucky,
it's not always funny, it's culturally sensitive,
you have to be careful. Here are my two rules for
humor, focus-group your jokes. If you intend to use some humor, talk to
people who are like people who will be in the audience and ask them is this funny? And most importantly,
listen to what they tell you. >> [LAUGH]
>> Second, use humor about yourself. Self-deprecating humor is the safest. Even though it might be tempting
to talk about politics, or geo issues, stay focused on yourself,
it's much safer. Now how do you relate to an audience? That can be hard, a lot of it has
to do with the work you do upfront, try to understand what motivates them,
what are the issues? Who are the speakers they listen to or
look for? What helps connect? And then engage in dialog, so it's not always about you talking,
get them to speak. So some of the best ways to engage in
an audience that you feel is going to be disconnected from you,
is to ask questions. Have them talk to each other, become
a facilitator rather than a presenter or a teacher. And that's a way to build comradery,
build trust and to break down some of those barriers. Microphone is over here. >> Yes please. >> Thank you, those thoughts
are applicable to different cultures, I mean that directorate is applicable for
almost everyone? >> I believe that much of what we have
talked about today is very relevant across culturally. Clearly there are something you have to
think about in terms of expectations, norms, etc,
to factor into your communication. But I do believe having a clear goal,
having a structure will help figuring out how to engage your audience, will help now
that engagement might differ by culture. But having engagement is critical, so yes
I believe at the highest level everything we've talked about today spans culture. How that gets deployed and what that looks
like, we'll have to take the culture and context into account for sure. We've got some questions here and
a microphone is coming. >> So great for presentations. >> Yes. >> But oftentimes we are at
our age coaching people. So how do you take that into a two minute
synopsis of how you can use your skills? Because I've seen conversations kind of
explode and you can't even control it. >> Right. >> So yeah, so
just whatever thoughts you have. So I believe with practice, you can get
very effective at quickly coming up with a goal for the interaction you're about
to have and then use a structure. In coaching situations where you
are giving feedback, I think the what, so what, now what structure is wonderful. What becomes the issue or
the behavior that you want to address, so what is why it is important, and the now what is the guidance that you
believe the person should undertake. So having that structure can keep
it tight, keep it focused, and make it memorable. But it takes practice to be comfortable
doing that in a spontaneous way. So you have to practice doing that type
of feedback several times before it becomes natural but
I do believe coming up with a goal and structuring it can be very,
very helpful for feedback. As well as answering questions. Yes, please. >> The most important take away for me is that before communication,
preparation is so important. But preparation needs time and
usually there's not enough time. [LAUGH] And
you also suggest us to have good sleep. >> Yeah, [LAUGH] right. >> So how can we Trade-off between-
>> I wish I had the secret to how we could all get
more time in our lives. What I suggest is, the more you practice
this, the more efficient you become at it. So, you can things more quickly. It also has to do with prioritization. Many of us think well, I'm not going to
sleep tonight because I'm going to drill and drill this big
presentation I have to give. In fact the research suggests getting
a good night sleep is far better for you than repetitive practice while tired. So part of it is prioritizing based
on what you know will be helpful and then the other part is just
becoming more efficient at it. The more effective and efficient
you are the quicker you can do it. But it is a trade off. You have to have that initial investment. I have a very simple heuristic I use. If I have a big presentation coming up or
meeting, whatever that date is, I take the time between today and
that date and I cut it in half. And that first half is preparation and
that second half is practice. Most of us sacrifice the practice piece,
we're working on our content up until the last minute because we think, because
I've worked on it, I'm going to be able to deliver it well, and everyone of you who
has ever known that knows that's not true. So, I just use that simple heuristic and
after you that for a while it becomes easier,
it becomes easier. Yes please. >> I have a comment and
a question for you. >> Okay. >> The first one is, when I was in
the Army I learned the Army way of communicating which is tell them what
you're going to tell them, tell them, and tell them what you told them. And you followed that
almost to the letter. >> Well thank you. >> The question is, do you ever use the Gettysburg Address as
an example of persuasive communication? >> So I use the Gettysburg Address
in my classes in a different way. There is, and
I'm not remembering who did this. But somebody took the Gettysburg Address
and created a PowerPoint for it, the whole speech. There's seven slides. And I use it to prove a point
that message is important, slides are less important. There's a bar chart, four score, right? It's very funny, but it proves a point and
you can all go search. Go search Gettysburg Address
as a PowerPoint and you will see the seven slides. So I use it, but
I use it not as a persuasive tool, although it is a very effective tool. I use it to prove the point that we need
to have our story and message first, and then create slides. If we rely too heavily
on slides we lose a lot. And that makes that point very very well. Other questions, yes. >> I have a class that I have
to give in Galway in Ireland, of Executive MBA students. >> Yes. >> And they're a wonderful,
wonderful group, but you know what the Irish are like. >> [LAUGH]
>> And occasionally, >> The Irish are very friendly, yes. >> They are, they're fantastic especially
after the class is over in the pub. >> [LAUGH]
>> Excellent. >> That's right. >> But occasionally I have a student or
two that will start looking at their mobile phone during my piece, which
I suppose is partly criticism of me, but the others don't so
it isn't a total criticism. How do you handle individuals,
or do you just ignore them, who appear to be distracted
by something else? >> So I always make the assumption
that when people are doing something distracting like looking at their phone, that there is a important
reason that they are doing so. So I start from a place of compassion
rather than it would just hurt my ego too much to be thinking that I'm boring. >> [LAUGH]
>> But what I try to do is I try
to engage nonverbally. If you're standing up you can move closer
to the people who are distracted and we've all learned that as the voice
gets louder, we should pay attention. Try to bring them in asking
questions works well. What I have learned in the digital
digital age that I teach in and all my students have not just one but
multiple devices. Sometimes, you can then actually
enlist the devices in what you do. So you can ask people, go search on this
or there are tools that allow you to take polls through texting, so
people text a certain number. And that's a poll. And you can actually show the data live. So rather than fight the technology,
see if there are ways that you can leverage it to help
you accomplish your goal. And that will make you feel better. And it will actually lead to some very
interesting interactions, thank you, yes please. You don't have a mic, a mic is coming. [LAUGH]
>> Do you ever take into account the kind of the company's culture
when you're giving for example the founder of Trader Joe's,
Joe Coulomb, said that in all his messages he
wanted to have fun with the customer. As you give these presentations
do you take into account Kind of what drives the company and
have that in your messaging. >> Absolutely, so
I try to practice what I preach. So when I go in and do some consulting
with companies all around the world, I spend time trying to understand
the culture and the values. And I watch some of the senior
leaders to see what they do. And then I infuse that in
the advice that I give them, and that can be really important. It could also get me in trouble, I went to
one start up not too far from here, and the executive team had a tradition
of cursing in their presentations. So, we had some interesting
examples in the workshop I led. But understanding what they do and
how they do it is very important for sure, yes, please. A microphone is coming your way. Thank you, it was great. I use my mobile for sharing the slides-
>> Yes. >> To the group. >> Thank you.
>> So it was a good reason. >> Thank you, I have to tell you this
taking pictures of slides is new and I never know where to stand. I always feel I am
photobombing my materials. >> [LAUGH]
>> And so I am getting used to it but yes Nicholas. I can tell you you're going
to love your pictures. >> Excellent-
>> You look great, you look great. And now, I'm blanking. >> [LAUGH] Ask me a question. >> I know, I'm blanking on
asking you a question so I mean. [LAUGH] So I think it was about
what do you do with interrupts? So sometimes you're presenting,
and you get asked questions. >> What do you mean? >> [LAUGH]
>> Yeah, how do you handle- >> Samiar is a joker. >> Yes. >> And a perfect interrupter. So what do you do when
something interrupts your flow? >> Yes. So if you can ignore it, ignore it. If it's somebody cellphone going off or
something of that nature, ignore it. If it's somebody interrupting with
a question or some kind of comment, what I recommend you do, is you use
paraphrasing to take something from what they're saying and then redirect. So if somebody is saying, but,
what about this, what about this? You can say aah that's an important point. I'm really interested in, and
notice what I've just done. I acknowledged, and then I move away. I've signaled I'm done
with you non verbally. Here's the challenge when you
are under some kind of interrupt or somebody's challenging you,
you have to balance being appropriate versus being rude to the individual,
but also to the rest of the group. If somebody is being distracting and
interrupting and disrupting, the rest of the room is feeling that tension and very
rarely will the rest of the room help you. They're looking for you to deal with it. And if you don't then your
credibility is affected. So you have to understand that
you need to manage that and manage it as politely as you can and
I firmly believe that paraphrasing, taking something of value, and then
redirecting is the way to handle that. I'm going to take one more
question to stay on time but I will stay afterwards and
ask individual questions. Is there a final question? Right over here thank you. Thank you, my question is how do you
change track in a conversation or rather engaging conversation, especially when your counter
party is having this intense, and a quite tight logic connecting statements,
it's one question after another. But meanwhile, you're well aware, the conversation is just going
downward against your goal. >> Or not going where you want it to,
right. So how do you reguide the conversation? And again I don't mean
to sound repetitive, but I really think paraphrasing is
a very polite tool for doing that. Acknowledge that you hear
what the person is saying. I understand what you're saying
right here, where that's going. I'm curios to know how so
use it as a bridge. So the paraphrase acknowledges, and then bridge to the direction
that you wish to go. I believe paraphrasing when paired
with structure and having a goal, are the three essential ingredients
to effective communication. Those are the bottom line tools. If you can create goals,
structure your messages and know how to paraphrase the content,
it can really help. I would like simply to
conclude by saying thank you. Each of us has important ideas and
stories and messages to convey. We must take the time to make sure,
that they are memorable for us so we can communicate them clearly,
and memorable for our audience, so they can take them with them. With that, I hope you are taking away some
memorable ideas to help you be a more effective communicator. Thank you very much. >> [APPLAUSE] [MUSIC]
