- Okay, give me a good spin. (laughter)
(applause) Help, my house is on fire! Yeah, Brittany's a firefighter, for sure. ("In the Hall of the Mountain
King" by Edvard Grieg) - Hi, I'm Timmy Rogar, I'm a
drag queen and a bartender. - My name is Alex Alexander. - I'm Ilah Dizon. - I am Crystal Reed,
and I work here at Cut. - I fucking love what I do. Totally, I can't imagine a
dumber way to make money. - I'm doing some sort of guessing? - Okay, am I gonna have
like, a list to choose from? - Oh, really? Wow, porn producer? - Bounty hunter? Horse listener? - Is this real? Some of these jobs I
didn't know were real jobs. - Alright, do you wanna come up first? - Nice to meet you. - Great meeting you. - That's a good handshake.
- Thank you. - Do you shake a lot of hands at work? - I do. - Give me one more good one, okay. - Can I touch you? - Yeah, you sure can. - Okay, do you feel okay? - I'm okay with it.
- Okay. - Wait, let me see your fingers. No you can't be the firefighter. - I really just want to
get rid of tarot reader. I don't know what that is. - You know like the psychics. - How do you feel about God? - Uh, he's a cool guy. - Can you sing like a gospel thing? I'll give you a beat, go ahead. - (clapping) I'm sorry I can't sing. I don't...
- Okay. - I'm going with pastor,
I feel good about pastor. - Because you failed all the tests, I think you're,
(laughter) I think you're a software engineer. - Oh man, so this is literally just what you're labeled as forever now. - I know, man. - Okay, next. Oh, you're definitely a horse listener, because you look like you're from nature. - Aww. - Maybe she might be the
porn producer (laughs). - No it's not, it's just like, it's versus what I would have thought, y'know like a heavier set
guy who breathes heavy like, (breathes heavily)
(laughter) - Do you like what you do? - I love what I do. - I want you to do a little
motion of like brushing a horse. (laughter)
- Okay, okay, not very good. - Have you ever ridden a horse before? - I have. - You're a horse listener, for sure. - We'll go with ER nurse. - She's probably the
firefighter isn't she, probably. - Do you work with a lot of people? - Yes. - Do you like people? - Some. - Do you know CPR? - I am certified in CPR. - What's your favorite porn genre? - Anime. - Right on. - I feel like maybe
you're a porn producer, this is the trick.
(laughter) This is the trick. - What's your favorite book? - I like to read reference,
so like studying new topics. - You're hard, I think you
- That's what she said. (laughter) - That's a good one, okay she's
definitely a porn producer. - Can I go with software engineer? - I'm gonna go tarot reader. I still barely know what it is. I'm gonna go tarot reader, for sure. - Okay, ooh, (hisses) - Wait, before, you have to judge. - Okay.
(laughter) Teach me your ways with makeup, oh my god. (sniffing) - You smell neutral, I smell nothing. - Because you have good style, I would say you're a bartender. - I think I want to go with ER nurse. - How come? - 'Cause everything else is
like, it would kinda make sense, I think that's like the most
thing that I wouldn't expect. - You're wearing lots of crystals. I'm gonna go with tarot reader. - Deal. - Hello, fellow Asian. (laughter) - What's your favorite porn genre? - I don't watch porn,
- Oh wait yeah. - But I have seen two girls
and one cup, and that was... (laughter)
(clapping) - Oh my god, I don't know, I was, I'm starting to question whether or not you're the pastor and now I'm like, no! - Do you have long hours?
- Yes. - Are you tired? - Yes, stressed.
- Constantly? Definitely ER nurse. - You've got riding boots, gorgeous ombre. Wendy the horse whisperer, listener. - Hello.
- Hello. - You seem very friendly. - I'm friendly. - And you got like that
badass, like Denzel's like brother kind of thing going on. (laughter) - Can you drop and give me five? Okay, can I sit on you?
- Let's go. (laughter) - Ready?
- I'm ready (screams) Okay, okay, okay. - Pretend like you're
trying to bounty hunt me, and like I'm trying to run away. Try to get me. (laughter) - No, I'm still going with bounty hunter, you got that calm, cold, collected. - I'll take it. - Imma go firefighter. - So doing pushups with somebody on my back makes me a firefighter? - Look, it's not a perfect science, look. (laughter) - Congrats,
- Yeah. - I hope you like your job. - Oh, you look intimidating. - Thank you.
(laughter) - I forgot what that's called. - It's a bolo. - [Interviewer] Does that mean anything? - Yes, bounty hunter. (laughter) - (hissing)
(humming) I wish I wouldn't have gave away pastor. - I went to a Christian college. - What did you study? - Psychology. - What's the longest
shift you've ever worked? - 36 hours.
- Yeah. Brittany's a firefighter. Do you want to twirl me? (laughter)
(applause) Help, my house is on fire! - I'm gonna go bartender now. - Hello, I'm Sir Mark. - Hi, Sir Mark?
- Uh huh. I have titles of knighthood
in eight countries. - So like they did the... - Yeah.
- Huh. - Tell me about your sign and
how you feel about the moon. (laughter) - Well, I'm another air sign, Aquarian. - Okay. - And uh, I love the moon. - There's only two things left. Bounty hunter and porn producer. You could be both of those,
man, you really could. (laughter) - Sir Mark's a total bartender name, I could see you at like a
cute little hole in the wall, talking to people about their problems. - What does a bounty hunter do? - They get hired out to chase
people who have warrants. - Yep, you're a bounty hunter. - You're like really gorgeous. - That highlight is magical.
- Thanks. - Although, like your hair, I feel like is too long
to be a bounty hunter. - I could put it up in a bun. - There's only one thing on the list left, so I'm not sure, it's porn producer. And, you know what, I
think you could do that. - Do porn producers star in porn too? - How do you feel about vaginas? - Um, I mean, I like mine. - You're stern, you look
like you get shit done. I'm gonna say you're the porn producer. - Okay. - Aunjoli the porn producer. Would you book me?
(laughs) - I don't feel good. - I think I got all of them wrong. - Yes. - I can? - You're the bounty hunter,
and you're the pastor. - Tarot reader, uh huh. - I'm gonna trade you two. - You know what, I want you two to switch. - You're the pastor 'cause you had that whole knight situation happening. - Because no one suspects the hot lady to be in like software engineer, 'cause I don't know, men apparently are the only ones in that industry. - I'm just gonna stop messing with it now. - Like two. - How many hands went up? (screams and laughs) - What?!
(laughter) Get out! - Okay, it's like half. - (sighs) Alright. - This is like, an M. Night
Shyamalan movie right now. (laughter) - Okay, 'cause I got a lot of questions. (laughter) - Alright, mister pastor. - What kind of congregation do you... - Uh, it's a Christian congregation. - Yeah, awesome. - Will you sing now? I know this song is like
(singing a tune and clapping) - [Both] ♪ Of my heart. ♪ ♪ I want to see you ♪ (clapping) ♪ I want to see you. ♪ - What made you want to be a pastor? - I was in high school
and I was just kinda going through like a depression, and the church kinda
helped me through that. - Yeah.
- And so, I figured, I want to help kids who are
going through the same stuff, so, yeah.
- Totally. Well, that's awesome, good for you. (clapping) - When did you decide to be a firefighter? - I've been a firefighter
for about three years, so... - Okay. - What's like the gender
balance where you work? - Uh, 4% of us are women nationwide. - That's it? Wow.
- Yeah, so seven at my department, seven
women, and then about 130 men. - (sighs) Sounds like a dream come true. - Can you do the firefighter carry? - Maybe, I don't know, I'm wearing heels. (screaming) - Probably just like that. (laughter) (applause) - So you're a horse listener,
do you own your own horses or do you help people, or both? - Both!
- That makes sense. - But you listen to the horses? - Right. It's less talking to the horse, and more listening to the
horse to have them tell me why they don't fit into
the domestic world. - Did you have to get a degree for that? - I did an eight year internship with a world-renowned horse whisperer. - Horses are amazing. - They're unicorns, you can only see their horns if you're also magical. - I wanna hug you. (laughter) - Hi.
- Hi. So, the crystal didn't mean anything? - It didn't. - How old are you? - 23. - How are you already an ER nurse? - Well I got a really incredible scholarship to go to school,
- That's so cool. - And otherwise I would
never have been able to. - When you go to work, do you wear this? - I don't do full glam,
but I'm always on a lip. - Do you deal with any like issues with your queer identity at work? - Um, yeah I work in a
conservative healthcare system, and it's really hard because
patients can be rude. - Even though you're trying
to help them? They're trash, not really.
- Even though I paid money to go to school.
- Like everybody else. - I just want to help them.
(laughter) - To be fighting that fight in places where it's not easy is so brave. - Thank you.
- Thank you. - Hi.
- Hi. So you're a software engineer?
- Mmhm. - Do you do like, game development or? - So we develop intermapping software, so it's like Google Maps but indoors. - Can you find people with that? - No.
- Do you work for the government?
- No. (laughter)
- Just kidding. - Are there any like roadblocks
because of your gender? - Yeah, a little bit, but
you just have to speak up. - Mmhm.
- Yeah. - Bartender?!
- Yeah. - That totally makes sense. - You were like pretty cool, so maybe I should've guessed that. - You ever witness bad Tinder dates? - Every day at work.
(laughter) Every single day. - Do you enjoy it? Do you...
- I love it. - I love it too.
- It's the best, it's like a chef but with bottles, and you get to talk shit at the same time. - Yeah, exactly. - Bounty hunter!
- Yeah. - I got you right, you're
the only one I got right. - Have you ever shot anybody?
- No. - Do you get to handcuff people on a regular basis?
- Yes. - Have you ever been in
a high speed car chase? - Yes. - Oh my gosh, do you wear disguises? - All the time. - Dude, that's so scary because I would never see you coming. - Do people cry a lot
when you drag them away? - I've never had anybody not cry. - Really?
- Yes. Everybody always cries. - Do you know any other
female bounty hunters? - I do, I know a lot of
really good ones, yeah. - Well, thank you for your service. - Oh, appreciate it. - This is like a job fair. - Tarot reader, Sir Mark.
- Yeah. - I shoulda known with the name. - Wait, you told me
earlier that you are like a person of God,
- I am. - and in the Bible it says
you're not allowed to like worship anything other than God. - There's no worshipping of the
tarot or anything like that, it's just a simple
scientific procedure which, each of the 78 cards reverberates
with a certain energy. If I have the clients choose the card, and it's just like a
magnet, do-do-do-do-do. - Interesting.
- And it just, tells exactly what's going on. - I really want a tarot
reading, like I really do. - Come on down to the shop. - I know right, I need to. - Oh! Yeah, you were like way
too hot to be like any... - But I'm not a porn star so... - Yeah, but you're, you run the show.
- Right. - What do you do as a producer? - Basically, I make sure that
the people that are applying aren't like underage,
- Yeah. - Have any like fraud stuff going on. - Do you work with PornHub? - I do, I do. - Number one channel.
- I uh, like monitor about 5,000
different live cam sites so, - Wow.
- that is our like main... - Do you make good money off of it? - Not as much as the performers, but yeah. - So yeah, is that like... - Pay-per-minute.
- Pay-per-minute? - So, anywhere from $1.99 a
minute to like $14.99 a minute. - Oh, you could, you can, they, yes. You should do it. Let's talk after.
- I just got a new computer. - Oh (laughs)
- So... - What is the kinkiest
shit you've produced? - I've seen prolapsed assholes, so I've seen like
- Prolapsed? (vomiting) Oh my god, I say cover your ears pastor! (laughter) (applause) - Thanks for sharing, you guys. - Thank you guys, sorry that took so long. How did I not guess anyone
except for one person?
