Master MENTAL TOUGHNESS and Redefine IMPOSSIBLE w/ Iron Cowboy James Lawrence

i didn't wake up and just go you know what life is hard and i don't have much experience but i'm gonna go do conquer 100 right you don't you don't go from there to there and if you do i guarantee you you're gonna fail right because one you don't respect the goal and you haven't endured the process to where you gain knowledge and experience and so that half iron man led me to the full ironman world record that led me to the consecutive to where i then believed that i was capable physically and mentally to do a quarter of a year of a hundred consecutive full distance tries which is unreal quartz sports endurance history all right welcome back to the show everybody hey have you ever thought about like running a marathon because i've thought about it i'm like there's a there's an iron man in coeur d'alene where i spent my summers just the marathon part of it i was like that's bananas 26 miles you know have you ever thought about doing that or ever watch one of these iron mans and go man i'm gonna do that someday and by the way it's like about a two and a half mile swim 112 miles on a bike 26 mile run that's kind of what an iron length triathlon is i want you to imagine doing one of those then i want you to imagine getting up the next day and doing it again can you imagine back to back days then i want you to contemplate thinking about doing it 30 freaking days in a row you got that how about 50 days in a row how about a hundred days in a row get your mind around that okay that would be one of the great all-time athletic endurance feats in the history of the world and simultaneously one of the great mental toughness and resiliency feats of all time guess what i got the dude here today who did it a hundred in a row in a hundred days his name is iron cowboy james lawrence welcome to the program brother hey ed man i i gotta tell you um i'm gonna try to keep it together as as we talk uh obviously just came off of an insanely emotional journey physically mentally spiritually um but i gotta tell you um huge huge love um adoration and respect for you um you maybe single-handedly and unknowingly got me through this quarter of a year challenge because um during the 112 mile bike ride every day um i i would tee you up man and um your i don't know if it was um just how soothing your voice was but like i was like i i got to the point where i got through all of it and then i would have to wait because i caught up and i'd have to wait till you know the next one dropped and i was always so excited when it did and so i just wanted to say man thank you so much for for being part of my journey not knowing you were part of my journey um so so yeah i just wanted i did see a post from one of your daughters that had said that you were listening to the show during it makes me choked up to think it for two reasons number one it's an honor to have been a speck in the sand of the beach of what you did number two it's as close as i'm ever going to get to doing what you did so at least i was at least i was in your ears brother so you you were out there every day with me brother so hey everybody so we're going to talk today about all kinds of stuff obviously you know resisting quitting overcoming fear overcoming pain mental toughness honestly i if you listen to that introduction everybody it would sound like this is crazy but it's not then also he did it for underground railroad you know raising money there was a reason behind there's so many things but i want to go back just because you would think you do do this and even looking at you you look like a wrestler i think visually when i look at you look like a wrestler i'm thinking this dude i'm gonna when i you know we've been following each other for a while i'm thinking i'm gonna see this guy he's probably six three you know real long legs super lean he's probably got some athletic advantage because everybody wants to discount success right eyes probably got some then i started reading on this guy was a high school wrestler like lost about every match his freshman year so there was no gift there kind of tried to play a little professional golf you know that didn't work out but visually it's not like you have some athletic gift to be doing this right so what was the what was the catalyst to get you go i'm gonna do some endurance sports what made you do that yeah it's interesting i mean everybody has a start to their journey right and um like you said i grew up wrestling i loved it i gravitate towards individual sports because like not realizing it but looking back on what i've done i i did wrestling and then golf and then triathlon and they're all individual sports because i love that if i win or i lose it's my fault and and i love that accountability of it and man i like you said i got i got tooled um beyond comprehension when i first started wrestling but then i went undefeated my senior year and went on to represent canada which is where i grew up and then i got married and found my beautiful bride and we never got five kids just celebrated 20 years of marriage but but back in the day she was into running and she was like hey let's go do this four mile fun run and i'm like what are you talking about nobody says fun and have you ever seen a runner like going down the road smiling no it's impossible like stop talking and she was like just come do it it'll be fun i'm like it's thanksgiving i'm like okay i'll be the good husband i'll go support my wife and um dude i i distinctly remember like i'm like my heart's pounding my lungs feel like they're gonna explode and i look over and these beautiful women just pushing their their kids in strollers laughing and talking just blowing by me and i'm like what the hell is that like i'm a physical specimen like what is going on that this is happening in my life right now and so it it allowed me to sit back and and do kind of like a mini audit on where i was physically in my life and and i had some situational depression and i was a new father of these two beautiful girls and i just was like trying to figure out my place and and sonny comes up to me it was thanksgiving looks right at me and she's like dude you are pathetic and and i was just like what are we talking about here and she's like i just i just signed you up for the salt lake city marathon um figure it out and i was like a marathon i'm like what's that how far are we talking here and she's like well it's 26.2 miles and it's in four months and and i just like it just rocked me and i went and did the marathon and i actually hated it funny story the mma fights were in town i'm a huge mma fan um they were in town that night and i went to the stadium in salt lake city and i sat down in my chair and i'm like i'm pissed i had this terrible marathon experience i'm just gonna sit here and watch the show well four hours go by and i go to stand up to go home and i can't what and i looked down and my knees had swollen up to the size of cantaloupes and i could not stand up out of my chair and so now picture the macho list of environments yeah and i have to get wheelchaired out of the studio to my car and eat just the big like the entire humble pie i had to eat the whole thing not a piece the whole thing and i got home and i was just like f running and enduring sports like this is so stupid i'm like i'm a wrestler i'm a fighter i'm a guy that goes to the weight room and does the weights i don't care then i woke up the next morning and i went i can do that better did you really and i said i am not going to allow that moment to define who i am and and then i over time i learned because you hear all the time i don't run i've got bad knees and i was i was that guy i was like i've got bad knees it's obvious i got bad knees it must have been from all the wrestling i'm not a runner and then i i learned over educating myself and whatnot i don't have bad knees because of running i have bad knees because i don't run right and and i started to go down this journey of endurance and i found the love for cycling and i got into the tour de france and watching it and i had a friend that did sprint triathlon which is the short version and i just fell in love i i had to teach myself how to swim and buy a bike and i just fell in love with the the diversity of training and and i didn't look like everybody else right like i was i carry more muscle right and i i remember early on i went to ironman um ironman arizona and i was spectating and i i have no idea what his name is but i watched the fourth place professional he was either fourth or third come across the line and this dude looked like you i mean he was yoked and i was like okay you can look like an athlete and still have success in this in this game and so then i just really because my passion is truly like lifting and and and that that's where that's where my i started in wrestling and fighting and all that and so when i saw that dude i was like okay i might be able to be successful in this sport and i just fell in love with the the the diversity of it and the training and then what i learned was a lot of this is mental and going back to my roots was was triath i mean what was was wrestling and again if i win or i lose it's my fault and i loved that and so i just started to implement the mental side of stuff and the nutrition side of stuff and it just became this like big challenge for me and over time it just escalated and i i would try one thing and i gained experience and and i um totally long story but i we lost everything in the economy i used to own a mortgage company and and all of those things happen and and i i remember doing my first ironman triathlon and um i i just fell in love with it i it was hard to have the perfect race and again it was like i i can do better i can do better i can do better and you just keep going back to the drawing board trying to do better and i started working for a charity and it was a charity in africa and we ended up breaking the world record for the most half ironman's done in a year and and it was so cool because it was the hardest thing i could think of it totally pushed me physically and mentally and and as you know the number one question that a lot of people get that a lot of people ask or want to know in today's day and age is like how do i become more mentally tough it's like how do and i'm like well you have to show up and it's only through experience that you can become more mentally tough and what i've experienced over my career is like when you're when you set a goal it should be the most intimidating scary but exciting goal that you've ever set for yourself and as you work towards it and then when you're in the middle of it you say to yourself this is the hardest thing i have ever done and then you accomplish it and you're like ah yes i did that and now i have knowledge and experience and you look back at what was the hardest thing and you say i can do better yeah and and now you've gained you've gained confidence and knowledge because you decided to show up and not quit and only then can you now conceptualize the next big goal because i didn't wake up and just go you know what life is hard and i don't have much experience but i'm going to go do conquer 100. right you know you don't go from there to there and if you do i guarantee you you're going to fail right because one you don't respect the goal and you haven't endured the process to where you gain knowledge and experience and so that half iron man led me to the full ironman world record that led me to the consecutive to where i then believed that i was capable physically and mentally to do a quarter of a year of a hundred consecutive full distance tries which is unreal or sports endurance history i want to unpack that for a minute so i want to want to catch this because you've got a dream maybe you are maybe like maybe you're sitting here going look i don't know what my big thing is yet would you just unpack two things here because he said them you know in one bunch one this is a guy who runs struggles through his first four mile deal right gets wheeled out of the damn arena right which is incredible like that's after the the first the first big one you did then to think that this is really this came on the heels of catastrophe in your life which was your mortgage business failing right i mean i want everyone to understand this through one of the most difficult times in this man's life was really born this new adventure slash challenge in his life this did not come like in you know spring season of his life it came in winter time and can you go back that just for a minute i mean were you did this give you some kind of like a release like hey this is something maybe i can prove myself in again like you said i loved it did you love the actual sweating and the your gas by the end of it or did you love the challenge of the whole thing because you had kind of had this business set back yeah i love the challenge of the whole thing and i want to congratulate anybody right now that is at rock bottom um because if you choose to get up and fight your life is going to be so spectacular and and to me the best place that i could have ever been was rock bottom because it gave me an opportunity to claw back and fight and take back what was mine and prove who i was and so i just wanna like look if you're struggling right now and you feel like there's no way out you're exactly where you need to be and if you can wake up and say look i'm just going to win today and you don't you don't got to get all the way there but if you just show up and and and have intent with what you're doing dude i'm so excited for you because that's where i was and i'm telling you i'm i'm living the life of my dreams right now and i i i have the relationship of my dreams i've got five kids of my dreams and none of it would have happened without the lessons and the destruction and everything that i experienced and so i just want to congratulate anybody listening that if you're in the thick of it and you feel like there's no way out congratulations because if you choose to show up with intent every single day ah you're going to take your life back and you can because i did and i'm nobody that's awesome you know bro that's one of those i just sit and want to baste in that for a minute it made me think by the way you could tell he's obviously one of the best speakers in the country too and his book redefined impossible the iron cowboy redefined and possible it's really what you did you redefined what was possible too right but i've sat at those iron mans because i lived in coeur d'alene so i started an actual iron man one of the trademark ones and i don't go to watch the pros finish i've gone i like to go at night time it's usually raining and you're watching a 82 year old priest finished right before the end of the night right or a guy with a prosthetic leg or a lady who's just survived stage four cancer and what happens to you when you watch something like that and then what you've done is some level that's just beyond comprehension almost is that i weep and everyone's crying and i after about six years of doing this my kids are like dad cries once a year you know it's watching these beautiful souls yeah make something that seemed impossible possible and i concluded that we're all crying because we know this courage this mental toughness this incredible thing these people are displaying we also have inside us and we're not utilizing and that's why it's a tear it's not laughter it's a tear because i know it's tears of joy but it's also tears of personal reflection and when i was watching you finish this thing i was reflecting it's amazing you're listening to some of my stuff but i was i was reflecting i just literally lost my breath saying i was reflecting like what am i capable of you know what what's the last massive challenge i've taken on in my life and i'm curious for you i want to go through it because i think there's metaphors everywhere so he's by the way the reason i started with 30 and 50 is he's done that and then when you do the 50 and 50 i'm like bro i like you're out of your damn mind right and then to go do the conquer 100 but i'm reading about both you know both of those last two it's inspiring right but this time like day five your shins start exploding right like you're on day five talk talk us through that did you think of quitting then so so two really cool things happened um that took me a little bit of time to realize i went into it knowing that you can't train for a hundred consecutive you have to adapt and evolve along the way and i knew look the first 15 and 20 of these are going to be hell because you've got to get to the point where you're broken physically mentally and then push through that and that's where everybody quits and if i can push through that my body's going to adapt and evolve and it's going to become the new normal everybody i want you to write this down pull over adapt and evolve that's in your business that's in your family that's in your fitness that's that's the key go ahead keep going yeah and so when i went into it with a an ankle problem that i didn't tell anybody about um and it immediately exploded into my shin to where we developed a stress fracture in the bone and super long story but a miracle happened we ended up getting a carbon plated shin spray brace that allowed allowed the the allowed us to offload the shin and continue on to heal that stress fracture by doing the marathon portion every single day it was a it was a total miracle but a complete testament to me that you give the body the tools and assets that it needs to recover it can still do so under stress and that was amazing to me to watch the body heal like that now it the the the shin and the and the imbalance that created a hip problem became so painful some of my worst days um i don't remember them but we have the video footage where i would be trying to move and the pain would get to a point that i could no longer manage it and i would black out and my my uh we called him the wing man my wingman would catch me i'd come back too and he would do a 10 second countdown and then say here we go and we would repeat that until i got to i'm going to be emotional but until i got to the finish line that night and um again it's just a testament to how powerful the mind is now i i was angry because i wanted to showcase how strong our team was mentally and physically and i wanted to make the hundred look easy i believed we could do that and i was angry that i couldn't run and then i was forced to walk and it turned out to be the biggest blessing of the entire campaign um why my my um my pain and discomfort forced me to walk and every single day we had people from around the country fly in and locals to support us and without fail they said i'm so grateful you're walking because i wouldn't have been able to join you if you if you weren't walking and uh and i was hard on myself because i was like look i'm an athlete i want to destroy this and as as i as i got deeper into it i was like i'm so grateful for this injury i'm so grateful i'm walking and and my my pain has turned into a blessing that other people can join and have an experience and every single day somebody did their first 10k with me or their first marathon or their first full distance or their first hundred a hundred mile bike ride and every single day i got to experience somebody else's first wow and it was humbling and it was um yeah humbling wow i mean by the end of this you guys a couple hundred people riding the cyclists with them and you i actually for you i'm grateful that it didn't look easy because i think you connected at least with me watching you struggle i'm on instagram every night watching these videos when it was happening and like there were literally times for me watching you like i'm in tears like not wondering the next day just but the it's one of the most i don't even like to say one of the most because when i say that then i have to think of something that i think is more it's just insanely inspiring and i can't think of something mentally or physically i've ever seen close to this because of the adversity because of all the people that got caught up in it with you also though there's another element of this that you know this idea of adapting i'm just so glad that you said that for everybody's sake but i i'm curious of all of them the one time you did the 50 or this time was there a moment where you're like i'm out i'm i'm going to like you're literally blacking out right so that's insane to me but was there a time when you just consciously went i'm in too much pain i'm in too much because guys these are icy roads snowy sometimes you imagine shin issues on a snowy ice oh my gosh like like was there a point or are there lots of points where you're like i'm out where is there one particular bro where you're like no no like this time i'm really out so um my team is world class um and and there's there's the core four of us it's my wife sonny joe um and then the two wingmen casey and aaron and they were they were the four of us thick and thin through the 50 and then and then i brought those boys back on for the hundred and they played massive roles and sonny's obviously the the head of this this entire thing um and and we we just know from experience that um it's okay to feel and it's not okay to quit it's okay to problem solve it's not okay to quit and it and it's okay to process and i think that's what a lot of people don't do especially men is they they don't allow themselves to feel and process before they hunker down and keep going um at no point in time was ever any of us saying you know we're quitting we got to be talked back into it but every single one of us had moments where we just needed to cry to feel uh be um supported to where we said okay i've had my two minutes i'm not gonna dwell on it we're gonna we're gonna quickly turn this around and we're gonna get back to work and and and that's the reason the four of us are so strong together because all four of us have that mindset and i will tell you this the closest that i ever came um to even considering it was somewhere between 15 and 20. where we were at the peak of that pain where i had a a couple days where i was blacking out i don't remember portions of it and i remember standing in the shower and i kind of just shrugged my shoulders at sunny and i said i don't know how many more days i can manage the pain at that level because when you've got 85 more days to go that is so it's so daunting when you're broken you it's hard to conceptualize what it's like and i'll never forget what she said she said um you're done today and you don't have to do anything else and all you have to do is now trust in the team get out of the shower go lay on the table and let them take care of you and then we will face whatever comes tomorrow together gosh it's huge and i think that's what a lot of people don't do is is you've you've got this today's mentality of the people that do decide to show up that it's like i got to go in all the time i got to go all in all the time i gotta hurt more than he does and they don't take two seconds to reset mentally and and i can't tell you how important that was and the valuable lesson that i learned was you've done enough today to take two seconds and reset and as soon as i i got into that rhythm knowing and and again it takes it takes putting the right team together and then it takes letting go and trusting the team that you have put together to do their job to do their part and that's hard too as a man to let go of like control of every piece of that puzzle and to go i i surrender and i trust you to do your part and it's hard to find good people nowadays that are willing to do their part yeah um and and i have that team and so when sonny said you've done enough today and and i think that's so important because we go through life and i think we're so hard on ourselves we see ourselves differently and how many how many times in our lives on our journeys do we take a minute and say you're you're enough you've done enough and i think it's so important especially as men to be to be vulnerable and just say i've done enough today i'm going to take on tomorrow when tomorrow comes i'm very surprised to hear you say it yet it resonates with me as complete truth just one of the biggest badass athletes of all time going hey man i needed to cry needed to let it go i needed to give myself some credit i'm enough like i even sometimes because i'm kind of like you we're very similar and that's why i think i'm growing to be so fond of you is that we both have pretty masculine sides to us but we also whatever you want to call it there's also sort of a you can call it a feminine side i guess the people call femme if you show feelings you're feminine so to speak right i don't have any problems saying that and sometimes people will say to me oh i love when you don't tell people they're enough when they're not enough and i'm like no they are enough right and if they don't believe they're enough they're not going to get their a effort how much of it is about being present though i would think when you have 100 days and i'm just spitballing here because you're the one who did it but kind of down your road the other thing that happens when we're down or even when we're winning we go i'm going to have to do this 11 more times i'm going to have to make phone calls 800 more days on my business career i'm going to have to find 9 000 more clients like they start projecting further down the road and stacking this impossibility when most things are in bite-sized chunks in life i didn't get to wherever i am i certainly didn't end up you know oceanfront wherever it is like because i projected forward if you'd have told me everything i had to do to get here i probably would not have started but if you share what i got to do today i'll do it today right how much of it i gotta think with a hundred of these it's like it might never be the day it might just be the next step i don't know what is it how do you do that yeah for sure you've got to break it down into really small mandible chunks or you do you get overwhelmed and i actually call it catastrophism and what that is is looking into the future in an event or a situation that hasn't happened yet and then continually feeding it and giving it energy until it blows out of proportion and control and it engulfs you consumes you and completely breaks you down and sidelines you and that's what happens to all of us like guys business or whatever it is your to-do list is never going to end and so like stop trying to like worry about the pieces of the puzzle that you don't know and and that's another great point is like you're not going to know everything when you start and so stop worrying about it but just you got to start and start executing and it was interesting i had i had an experience um it was deep into the campaign well two experiences there was somebody we ran on this this this asphalt trail by my house and early on somebody i still don't know who it is they wrote the words conquer 100 on the trail with spray paint and then every single day when i would complete it they would come out and put a hash mark i was so pissed at this person eight days in because every single time i would go buy it and it was a reminder that i had 92 more to go and i was like are you freaking kidding me like stop doing whatever you're doing i cannot i cannot compartmentalize and figure out how to do 82 more of these because i'm trying to be present stop bringing to my attention that this is happening now i was grateful when there was like there was a you know 90 something hash marks and i'm like yeah there's 90 that each one of those represents something and then they threw this party at 51 when we broke officially broke the world record and then we broke it every single day but they were like dude you're halfway there and i'm like f you don't tell me i'm halfway there because that means to me i still have halfway to go don't bring that to my consciousness and and it got to the point where i had to i had to break things down into manageable smaller numbers to where i didn't have 14 to go i had nine to go till five to go yes and i could manage those smaller compartments and it was interesting i got into i was so hyper focused on the moment what we were doing and some a guy said to me i was on 91 and he said dude you're so close you have nine more to go and i looked at him and i said no i have three and he goes no no you have nine and i looked at him and i said you're a i have three miles to go today there you go and i was so focused on where i was right there in that moment he was talking about full distance days to go and i i'm not even i'm not even like my mind wasn't even i could not comprehend what he was saying and i'm like you've been with me the whole marathon how can you not know we only have three to go why do you think we have nine he was talking about days and i was so present right there on the moment that i could not comprehend what he was saying because i only had three miles to go to where i was enough that day and so you've got to be on any journey that you on whether it's lists or business or marriage i want to be there right now i've got five kids and people always like hey you know how do you do how do you do family balance and and do what you do and i'm like it's not about 30 30 30 my daughters they're teenage girls they don't want 30 of my time they want me to be all there for four minutes but when i'm there in those four minutes i'd better be there with them for those four minutes and so i think james i think you've hit on something brother because i i'm gonna tell you the peak performers that i coach you know outside too they have an ability to shrink time frames and so they have a long term plan like you set out conquer 100 that's the long term vision most people can get that done they can go i want a beach house i want a dream relationship i want eight percent body fat that the big thing most people can get there it's the day-to-day executing at a super high level in a hyper-focused intentional state that most people don't have and it's because they're projecting into the future and to some extent that projection into the future is a cop-out distracting from your lack of execution right now and the best pitchers aren't trying to throw a no-hitter they're trying to execute this slider low and away the beck's go you know this from golf the best golfer isn't thinking about the 16th hole on hole three they're thinking about this nine iron to 146 five feet left of the hole in that shot i tell people all the time you have to have a short-term memory you have to have short-term memory and and and you have to have the vision for the long-term goal but um and i'm totally gonna botch the saying i don't even know who said it but like focus and intent right now today will take care of the future and the long-term goal you don't even have to worry about it if you're executing with incredible focus and intent now everything else takes care of itself what about fear so because there's so much brilliance i've watched some of your talks obviously i read the book but you talk about i'm gonna tell you something interesting about me that i'll share i don't know if you have this or not but i think if i think people some people might be surprised to know that i'm i'm easily fearful what i mean by that is like just because of my upbringing when i say fearful meaning i can my mind will find something to worry about if i let it and and that's why i have to work on my mental toughness because if i get mentally weak my mental weakness for me manifests in different people mental weakness for me is that i'm gonna quit or i can't do this mental weakness for me manifests itself sometimes in anger and it manifests itself sometimes in worry or fears what if this happens and you talk about like isolating and attacking of fear i forget where i saw you say or write this but what do you mean by that and how the heck do you do it yeah so to overcome like to me fear is no different than like fear is just an emotion and fee like there's fear there's there's happiness there's sadness they're all they're all just emotions and we can um there's so many tools and resources out there to overcome any of those buckets right and and the the more we the more we isolate ourselves and focus on something the more it magnifies and becomes real and so so what people do is they have this fear which is an irrational thought process because of either lack of preparation or experience and so when i said that i meant look you've got to realize what your fear is and then attack it with relentless pursuit and break it down into a manageable piece that you can go and then have confidence and momentum to take on the next piece of it right and so it's just like we were talking about being present let's say our fear will compare that to the giant goal okay you're not just going to rush and accomplish the big goal you've got all of the tasks that are manageable along the way as you're present to try to get there fear is the same thing if fear is the big goal you now have to break down that fear into something that is manageable and a little less scary to where you can go and take it on head on and fight that fight now as you gain momentum and experience and you're getting closer to what the true root or true fear is now you're gaining momentum and confidence and having success along the way by the time you get there you've overcome it and it's no longer a fear and that's what people need to do is they need to show up in their lives but they need to break things down to where you gain the success you gain the momentum and you can ultimately you know by the time you get there you you're you're a prize fighter and you're like let let let's go i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna drop kick you in the face i'm gonna hulk hogan leg drop units over somebody should be uh transcribing this and just turning it into a book on mental toughness and achievement seriously it's what it should be i just i'm sitting here going by the way i love the hulkster just so you know that's why i ate vitamins when i was a kid was because of hulk hogan so what about this i want to ask you a couple of things what's the hardest part about this you just said hey man the hardest part about conquer 100 endurance in general the hardest part is or was what i i think truly it it's it's believing in yourself that you can do it because it's it's belief in conviction it's getting to the point where you have the belief in conviction where it's impossible for you to fail and and i i listened to um the recently the the podcast with tim grover yeah and and dude stud love his stuff but i am going to disagree with something he said um and and i believe he meant it to once you've reached this level and you want to win at the highest level it's no longer i showed up and that's a success and and i think for the masses showing up needs to be celebrated because they they they're so lost and this generation showing up is a problem my daughter my daughter is the the the supervisor at her job and and this is going to blow your mind there's a three strike policy on a no call no show you're allowed to no call no show three times before you're fired can you imagine an employer when you were working and growing up and fighting and digging you don't even it's like they don't even warn you one no call no show i'm sorry you're gone right the fact that in today's day and age there is a three strike policy on a no call no show completely blew my mind and so i think i have a little bit of empathy for um this i i struggle understanding it because of the the massive generation gap my kids i'll call me a boomer but um it's crazy that i've fallen into that category but i do think showing up needs to be celebrated because that's where it starts and a lot of times showing up is the hardest thing because you're overwhelmed you're daunting and people don't have the confidence yet because they don't have the experience well brother i think one is the momentum the best ability is availability right and the other part of it is learning to play hurt learning to play physically hurt obviously in your case but learning to play mentally hurt showing up and playing when things are a mess at home showing up and playing when there's no money in the bank because i don't think that i have a lot of superpowers but one of them that's ironic that he said is i would get my ass up and i would get to the office when i didn't eat breakfast because i had no damn money for breakfast kind of hoping if i busted my butt that day somebody at the office would take me to lunch that's the truth and so that shows up but you look at right now as we're recording this the nba uh playoffs are going on it's a process of attrition frankly i don't think the best team's going to win this year the wealthiest team is it's the lakers maybe it might have been the nets but they they couldn't get guys to show up because they could they were hurt and they couldn't play hurt there's a difference between injured and hurt i get that but the point i'm saying is this year there's probably going to be a championship held up by somebody who's not the most talented not the most gifted didn't have the best record during the season because they showed up they could get their bodies to show up you're absolutely right about this can you can you imagine if the nba finals this year ends up being atlanta versus phoenix who would who would have said oh yeah i'm gonna put all my money on atlanta phoenix fun in the finals like everybody wouldn't like what are you crazy that's like a for sure way to flush your money down the toilet even if one of them even if one of them gets in that's a amazing insane and here here's what's interesting about this concept is i got asked the question hey at what point in time during your day do you know that you're going to finish and and and i said well that's easy as soon as i get in the water wow and and to me that's where i think it's important to celebrate just showing up because in my world when i show up i know it's accomplished i know it's done mm-hmm and and so that triggers you to finish it showing up triggers me to finish and it creates that momentum going forward so really that the answer to the question is when at what point in time did you know you were going to be successful and i said well as soon as i did the first stroke and as soon as i made the decision to show up i knew the goal was done because how many of us don't show up and don't have that clear path to what we're doing so for me i celebrate showing up because in my mind showing up means i've completed the goal yep and i think we both i know exactly what you mean and i know we both know what tim was saying at the highest level for sure is that there's a level past that but the baseline function to get into the pool of success you have to be there swimming even if it's with floaties on yeah you've got to get there even if you're in the shallow end you want to go play in the deep end yeah that's another story that's a different story grover's talk about the deepest deepest end but just getting in that pool the success pool is something to be celebrated and for you the trigger is i'm in the pool i'm finishing i'm done and i think and i think i think it's important for people to understand that you're never going to feel ready and that's why it's important to show up because by showing up you start to gain that knowledge and experience that you need in order to bridge that gap from where you were to where you're going nobody nobody shows up and is is an expert i have this picture of me in my very first event where i'm holding i was in a pool i'm holding on to the edge of the pool gasping for air with a nose plug on because i don't know how to i don't know how to swim and i promise you nobody would have looked at that guy and said he's going to go on and and and break four world records and set sports endurance history nobody would like that's like saying atlanta and phoenix going to be in the finals nobody puts their money on that guy but that's my point and i hope that people get from this is you need to show up when you're not ready and when you don't have the confidence because that's how you gain the confidence to be ready to take it to another level so that you don't have to celebrate showing up like grover is saying you can now focus on winning right and to where you can just just consciously be conscious and it like a a full distance for me became routine to where my body craved doing it and it became the new normal what would have happened that i not decided to show up because i didn't feel i was ready how many thousands of people around the world have had has our family had an opportunity to impact i can't tell you the ed the messages that have come around the world of of people i i was out walking on the marathon i can't remember what day it was and a guy came up to me and he said hey you don't know me um but um before the journey started literally the day before the journey started i almost took my own life and he goes i i showed up on day one and i watched you and i just i i just wanted to see what you were doing and then i showed up on day number two and by the time i hit day number 10 i saw the intense struggle that you were going and you set the example that you just have to keep showing up and face the demons and adversity and things can get easier and he goes you saved my life oh my gosh and and i can't tell you we have a hundred of those stories and i can't help but wonder what would have happened if i decided not to show up when i didn't think i was worthy or had value to show up and start my journey because we truly have no idea who's watching especially as a parent i mean our kids holy cow they are watching they hear everything they see everything they they may tell you they hate you but you are their hero and i think as adults we need we have a responsibility to be the be the best who we are at all times because we have no idea who's watching and i think our kids are watching even when we think we're alone and it's the most impactful times of our lives and i think who we are when we think nobody's watching is who we truly are to our core and what our values truly are and so i think we need to do a constant self audit of who we are in those moments when nobody's watching because that's who our true character is and i believe what our potential is and so if we can be extraordinary and spectacular in the dark when we think nobody's watching imagine what you can do when the lights are on and you and you have thousands of people watching you imagine the impact that you can have on individuals if you were to show up in your life with that type of intent every single day the the legacy that you could leave if that's who you were on a 24-hour basis so good just so good i uh you said earlier that fear is an emotion one of these things about kids i would just add that you're saying our kids are watching everything and i used to think your kids are going to behave just like you behave that's not always true some do some don't that they're going to think just like you think some do some don't let me tell you what i think most kids end up mirroring as they become adults your emotions so if they see you live with a particular set of emotions anger fear worry depression their life may go out and they may produce external results but they'll find themselves their emotional home being those same emotions they saw you experiencing and so but if they see you experiencing you know joy ecstasy passion triumph challenge you know these other emotions they do mirror emote i found that you know my dad's life was very different than mine right you know that he had drank and you want but as i got older i was i behaved a little bit like my dad but i did sort of experience the same emotions as him even though our external lives are very different some of those emotions i wanted to have because i loved my dad but some of them i didn't and i'm like why am i not happier why am i down when i've got all this stuff i learned to embody those emotions watching my dad all those years and so you listening to this what emotions do you carry that are your parents and in front of your children what emotions are they seeing you experience because they see you in the quiet times they see you driving in the car they see you when you get home from work and it's oh right they see those things and so be cognizant of your emotions speaking of emotions i got to think to do something this again we've got a couple more minutes thank you for today by the way and i mean that someone transcribe this put it in a book and sell the heck out of it but um what about your reasons i said i think big goals are awesome but when i meet people that have deep emotional reasons for doing this or whatever it is they're doing that typically overrides most pain most fear most adversity when they can reflect on those reasons what are yours and is there any time during these hundred days that you reflect on it either during the running swimming or biking or when you're resting in the evening i think the number one reason people fail in anything that they're doing is because the reason the benefit the value didn't match the sacrifice that they were they were doing and i think um that is the reason why most people fail is because they haven't put enough thought and time into what they're doing and i call it a bag of wise and everybody says what's your why what's your reason and i promise you if you go into a journey that has meaning that is going to push you to the brink that is going to challenge you to your very core it's going to back you into the corner and you're going to experience some darkness that you've never felt i promise you your one reason is not enough and you're going to have to pull all of the reasons and put them together into one big ball of purpose and reason in order to overcome that moment because you're going to get there and you're going to go this is why i started now that i'm in the pain that i'm in and i'm backed into the corner ah that's not enough and i'm out and so so if you're on the cusp of something big and in a journey i think it's super important to sit back and reflect and start to compile the reasons that that you're doing it and and it can't be a lifetime reason right things are always going to evolve and change when i was on the 50 we had lost everything we were broke i wasn't financially stable we we lost our home they had taken it away from me and while i was out there my reason was i'm going to take my life back i'm going to build my dream home and my i'm going to give my wife and kids the family that i believe they deserve well i had done that and going into the 100 that can no longer be my reason that it has to change and so you have to be thoughtful and and with intent with the purpose and reason you're doing things and to be honest with you um a huge reason for me on the 100 was because i said i would and and to me even in the darkest of moments my word meant so much that i could not set that ultimate example for my kids and watch them or watch have them watch me back out for really no good reason pain discomfort just because i'm done and to me showing my kids that ultimate example of you you say you're going to do something which i think is a lost arc to me when i said i was going to do it it was my virtual handshake to anybody that was listening that i'm committing to do that and and i think the day and age of like there's got to be an ironclad contract and this money on the line and that might no i shook your hand and i said i'm going to go out and do the conquer 100 project and and to me it was i'm going to prove to everybody but most importantly myself and my family that i am who i said i am and without question it's going to take hell or high water for me not to continue on the journey and to do what i said i was going to do and to me that was reason enough and it should be reason enough for most people that our word should be our bond and integrity at the highest level should be the most important thing if you lead with love and integrity the cream will always rise to the top and sometimes it's going to take a little bit longer but if you always strive to take the higher road you never have to look over your shoulder you never have to worry about somebody opening up the closet you never have to worry about somebody else's opinion of you you never have to worry about the journey that you're on because you have built that confidence of love and integrity and you can go forward with intense confidence that noma it doesn't matter what anybody else's opinion is because i have that love and integrity on the journey that i am and my family's here with me and nothing can trump that right really you know there's there's people who say inspiring things and then there's inspiring people rarely or is somebody both and it's you're you're incredible like i'm watching my face in the cameras you're talking like i need to maintain my face you know i don't i've done i've ever done that in an interview before i got a lot of things i wanted to get to we'll have you back because you're incredible but i do want to go through two more things one was the hardest part the lack of rest i'm just curious because there's not a ton of rest i mean actual sleep like i was reading that you actually didn't just black out but like you could fall asleep riding the bike true or false true um so let me contrast really quick the the difference between the 50 campaign where we did 50 fulls in 50 days through 50 states yeah and then the 100 where it was in a remote location which you got to get more rest then right the second time correct so so if i was to pigeonhole or label the 50 it was um logistics it was fatigue and it was chaos okay and then the hundred would have been pain and duration right and so so the whole reason i believed that a hundred was possible was if i remove chaos put systems in place can we double what everybody thought was impossible and def and defy logic right and what happened was the chaos still ensued because you just can't predict the unpredictable and when you're doing anything for a quarter of a year you've we've all heard that in order to achieve success you've got to have it's when preparation meets luck and and a lot of luck has to go into these types of things when you're doing it for that long and so to compare those two um the hundred was was very difficult because of how long it was and the i mean you're talking about going from 7 000 mile campaign to 14 000 miles which is the compounding effect of that is super hard to to rationalize in in our minds and in our in our heads and so that that's how i would compare the 50 and the 100. it's just it's even as you say it it's just it's just unbelievable it's just unbelievable it's just it's got to be one step in front of the next all right last question by the way thank you for today it goes without saying like i already know what the response is going to be to this i have you know when i do interviews i love all of them um i won't have someone on my program anymore we're lucky that we can get who we want typically that i'm already not friends with fascinated by or inspired by or want to learn myself from but then there are certain ones that i'm i'm doing the conversation i'm in the interview and but i'm i'm making decisions as you're talking i'm making decisions as you're talking man and that's when i know it's profound and that's what i've been doing the whole time we're talking share with us what it's like to finish to achieve it so you've had a few of these you know we're all sitting out here like i got my dream too man mine isn't 100 to conquer a hundred you know it's not that my dream is x or y what's it feel like i did it what's that feeling like if you can even begin to describe it yeah th this is this could be an entire podcast to unpack because coming off the 50 they i got heavily warned they said look you're going to fall into depression you're going to have confusion brain fog you're not gonna know what's what's up and i didn't experience that on the 50 and so when i was coming off with a hundred i was like it's not gonna happen i've got this i'm a man i'm invincible i just i just i just did sports history i'm good and and i you saw the emotion of crossing the finish line of the hundred and it was that was raw and that was real and what i didn't expect was the depression the confusion the brain fog i don't know when it happened but at some point in the time i transitioned into a protective state to where i was in such trauma and and turmoil that my brain was protecting me and it was not allowing me to feel and i believe i was and i it was probably around 85 that now looking back on it i was in the ultimate of flow state and and that's when it was it was somebody said the documentary asked me a question i was on the table and they said how many could you do and i said 200. like i didn't even hesitate i was like 200 i was in such a state of like power and and flow and then i came out of it and i had this like my brain and our brains are so powerful ed that it was masking every emotion that was real and that i was feeling and and it's it it's hard to explain but i was in an ultimate protective state from trauma and i now have a lot of empathy for people that are going through something intense that they aren't themselves because they're trying to protect themselves from the feelings or the emotions or the trauma of what they're going through and and i would have never said i was in that state until i had an opportunity to come out of it and it's been really hard i've been walking around the house i'm supposed to be recovering i don't know what to do that was who i who i was and that's who i that was my identity and everything and now that gets stripped away and then you start questioning well who am i is that is that my only value is that my only worth and then now you start to have this like real conversation with yourself okay now where what is my place and you you start to go this through this transitional conversation with yourself and i think there's three phases to any big journey it's preparation it's execution and then it's post and recovery to whatever that looks like and i think we have to respect all three levels of that type of journey and the recovery portion of it could be the most important because it's when you unpack the lessons and you try to internalize the experience so that you can evolve again and be a better person to have influence that you want to have to help other people have that same type of experience in their lives on a positive level and so i'm again i'm grateful for the struggle i'm grateful for the lessons that i can learn so that i can develop empathy for others that are in that situation um and so like we talked about i'm i'm grateful for rock bottom i'm grateful for the struggle i'm grateful for um the opportunity to learn those lessons so that i can be a better father and person i'm grateful for you today and hopefully it will dawn on you when we finish this that one of the places you belong is doing what we just did here today because literally millions of people's lives are affected by this especially on the audio side millions of people and there were no wasted words today and only you are qualified to deliver these because of what you've gone through because of what you've achieved only you no one else could do what you did today because someone else has not gone down literally the road that you've gone down it makes me emotional to say and so it'll begin to reveal itself to you brother as you move forward you're in that repair and recover stage one of the realest answers of all time i've had the same sense a lot of athletes a lot of business people have had those things happen oftentimes mothers have it when they have the dream of giving childbirth now some of that is obviously chemical but it is a thing that sometimes when this is this journey ends or identity changes the chemistry in our body isn't just right and there's just what's next is there a next what's my value all those things you said i can just tell you that for everyone that listened or watched this today they would all come back and you put their arms around your hug you go brother you just did it you just spent an hour doing it and i could see the emotion on your face now and so little did you know it's the ripple effect you know only you are capable of delivering the words and the messages and the insights you have because only you have gone down that road so i'm grateful for you and uh wow like just a wow so thank you and i'm here to help you by the way you know that we've got each other's numbers anything i can do in this transitional phase for you can i wrap up with one one thought 100 yes okay so i i i don't know if you tuned out after day 100 um do you know what we did the next day no i don't okay so um we did 101. did you really and um did you really yeah so we went live every day during the swim and and i i think this is important because of who you are and you know your tagline of uh max out and and we turned on the live the following day when i would have normally been swimming every single day and it was and it was just me in the pool by myself um doing one more and i got asked the question a lot why did you do one more and i had a lot of people understand and then i had a lot of people just they were confused and i i i hate the because my the way i feed my family is i get on stage and we tell our story we we motivate and we do coaching and whatnot and i and i love talking from stage and impacting people and i i i don't appreciate the speakers that are out there telling uh trying to teach a lesson when they haven't done it they haven't been on the battlefield in the battle and i felt like i would be a hypocrite if i told people that you can get up and you can do one more and it the campaign day 100 was on a tuesday and sunday night i said i just got the most intense impression james you need to do one more and and i was like are you freaking kidding me like i am broken like i am mentally exhausted i've been showing up for a quarter of a year why would i do one more and the and and i got the impression it's not for you and and i felt like our team needed to show up and do one more because on your journey when you're broken and when you are at your limit i promise you you can get up and you can do one more and that one more might be by yourself and i don't know how many times you're gonna have to get up and do one more by yourself but i promise you you can get up one more and i didn't feel like i i could bring integrity to our story if i didn't go out and as a team we did one more and so we did we did 101 because i i want to lead from the front and i want to show people when you are broken and when you have reached your limit you can do one more james the book i'm writing right now is called one more you just stole the title of my next book ed we're in a fight i'm gonna be out before you it's uh and i'm adding your story to the book because i have the rights to this podcast but i'm not exaggerating i'm almost done and i told you that you went on this journey you did this i know you did from audience but you just did it for me and so i'm sure the books will be very different in content but yeah the my book is the power of one more and it'll be out in the fall i am so excited for that book i'm just blown away that you just said that that may be the craziest thing that's ever been done on the show and it was at the end i hope everyone's still listening because that's a that's a wow thank god you added that too too an unbelievable conversation so thank you james everybody go fi find iron cowboy on instagram follow him get his book book him to speak it's just he's the real deal like he said like you're bringing someone who's done these things and does not struggle for the ability to articulate his thoughts and his points and his emotions he's got an anointing with his language as well so thank you for today brother and everybody out there share this subscribe if you're listening to the audio subscribe to youtube if you're watching youtube go subscribe to stitcher or spotify or itunes or one of these platforms get the audio version as well god bless you all max out hey guys thanks for sticking around if you'd like more click the videos right here they're exactly what you need to see next and if you're new here hit subscribe and become a part of the max out community and tell me what you think about the videos in the comments below i read all of them every week and i select winners that get all kinds of prizes gear coaching calls with me make a comment

Channel: Ed Mylett

Views: 228,142

Keywords: ed mylett, mylett, motivation, inspiration, iron cowboy, james lawrence, distance runner, ultra marathoner, ultimate athlete, triathlons, ironman, guinness world record, triathlete, mental toughness, how to master mental toughness, 100 ironmans, conquer 100, redefine impossible, achieve the impossible, the iron cowboy

Id: gEJOeX1cI7Q

Length: 65min 15sec (3915 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 13 2021