Marlo Thomas With Judge Judy

hi and welcome to Monday's of Marlo boy do we have a treat for you today we have got the number one daytime talk show host judge she's everything Judge Judy she's here with us today and you know was so great is that she's just announced today and and we're the first show she's on since the announcement that she's signed up with CBS syndication until 2015 and that is good news for everybody and for me for everybody for everybody so excited you're here you know thank you we get questions over the weekend and we were really just bombarded with questions for you everybody think you know the answer to everything that's not true I'm ready to soar ready to go okay here's our first question now the viewers are right there they're waiting for you and the first one is you reinvented yourself after 50 and you started a TV show you were a judge right so what made you think there could be a television show out of that how'd you do it I don't know if I thought that there could be a television program out of that but I remember watching judge walking around the People's Court mm-hmm and I said you know I could probably do that I was a judge in New York for 15 years and what he did didn't look so different from what I did every day I had been in the family court for 25 years somebody called from California and said how would you like to do what you do on television I said you know sounds like an interesting career move it was a difficult one for me because as a judge you work for the state of New York you have a great pension you have vested medical care you have all of those other good things and going into a new adventure in television was a bit frightening Rea because most of the things that are produced with it for television fail right as well sure and so you're giving up your job because you're not going to get reappointed or reelected but it takes it takes a risky guy to do that ah well takes a risky guy in a two-income family my husband was still onto the idea in New York he said in the Supreme Court in Bronx County and we said why not give it a shot and I was sort of keeping my fingers crossed that we would stay every year so I wouldn't humiliate myself and it's been 16 it's been 60 good for you that's been it's been quite a ride so in a fascinating anybody who wants to change careers what's the is it is it the to income family or what is it that that says okay let's go well the to income family is a luxury because in today's economy I don't think you very often have that luxury sometimes the choice is made for you we're looking to look at a new career I think that the whole idea is not to be frightened to me there are adventures out there not everybody's going to hit a home run right but because I think today so many people have to view life as not you know I'm going to start to work at the GM plant right and work there for 35 or 40 years take my pension and retire and maybe go get a small second job someplace you know the GM plants close right things close then you would know that television was going to be the a really a good job would you ever know ah I saw what that's funny okay I'm going to move on here because we've got lots we want to talk to you this is from Betsy do you think Prince William and Kate had a prenup or should they have I'm a big believer in prenuptial agreements uh-huh as a matter of fact I think that the easiest prenup and I've said this for probably 20 years would be when you apply for a marriage license nice you have to write certain information on the marriage license I think it would be easier if people put down what their property was at the time of marriage and there was a clear understanding that that property was individually owned and did not become marital property he's got country of England and well he has country of English he's got to keep his fingers crossed countries England right you know children already present a different Avenue revenue stream right of course but certainly if their marriage is a short one and I don't think it will be I think that they were lovely lovely committed yeah car much in life they and I think that they will stay married and have a wonderful family what should something happen and that is a you to believe Audrina I'm a big believer in prenups we didn't get one you know we didn't do it well you know when we got married you didn't that you didn't think that way I I thought it would be giving it a kind of horror yes No okay here's one I'm the Osama bin Laden killing this is from Valerie hi Valerie how will this affect President Obama's chairman will it help his reelection chances oh I don't know I'm not really good at crystal ball I think I think that probably he was very pleased to have made that announcement last night too to have had the ability right to get in his German his term to say to the American people there is at least some form of justice right I think that that pleased him and it probably pleased a lot of voters and I think so here are some home-and-garden hi Judge Judy I've been a big fan of yours for a while now my question for you is how can you tell when someone's guilty it seems like you always know right away well I think that life is a has a common sense theme and usually a story makes sense it has an arc of beginning a middle and an end and if something doesn't make sense to you there is a buret of behavior in this world but if something generally doesn't make sense I'm skeptical you've got to convince me it's the story you know they don't get in your homework is an old-line role but you know there may have been an animal picked apart your homework right but you got to convince me that it happened Genesis a buret of behavior actually thank you right but you have a very open mind right I'm going to start well oh do you forgetting because I have I get a complaint and an answer written by the litigants I sort of know where they're going uh-huh and you know I think of the story of one of my children who borrowed a car of mine when they were teenagers you know 17 or 18 years old and he came home without the car and he insisted that there was some sort of a mudslide on the Henry Hudson Parkway that swallowed up my car I hadn't read about anything and I said to him sweetheart you have to prove that that happened your mother that your mother the judge has to prove to me too that so if it doesn't make sense it's usually natural that's funny this is a really good question I'm interested in your answer this is from Charles my wife and I divorced several years ago we have one child that I'm paying child support for how do I know that the money is actually spent on my child can a father ask a judge for proof that the child support money is actually being spent on my daughter it depends upon how you view spent on my daughter mmm if your former mate lives in an apartment or a house with another child and perhaps another mate right most people who space pay support for children don't view the mortgage or the gas and electric and water and that child should at 1/4 or 1/5 as being ascribed to their child support they say well you can go to close it can go to summer camp it can go to the dentist but what about the general living situation right so because courts are really far too busy to become arbiters of where that money is spent courts say that have actually the courts in most jurisdictions in the fend there is a child support guideline oh that says well if you have one child and if you are the non-custodial parent you should be paying 17% of your income for that one child and that will go up appropriately for two children but it won't go up to 34% for two children because it will go up to say 25% for two children but can you take the rent out of that well you know the rent I don't know because you're paying it to the person who was actually paying the mortgage you're paying it to the ex-wife in this case an ex-wife who's bank making a mortgage payment I say she lives there alone with the child was so the courts can describe half of that mortgage payment to put the child who lives there than one person I don't think that it's reasonable to say that I want to know where every penny of my money goes you know when you have children money goes there fast right and and some of it is used for fixed expenses and some of it is used for incidentals and some of it is used for going to a movie then going out with friends or five dollars spending money so I think it's unreasonable to ask courts to monitor that there's your answer this is from John hi Judy my 17 year old son made a stupid mistake lot long ago and was convicted of a misdemeanor crime this is obviously now on his permanent record I'm wondering how will it affect him to his life college admissions job recruitment and so on because you don't know what that misdemeanor was but you don't know what the misdemeanor was you don't know if it started out as a misdemeanor was or started out as a felony and was reduced to a misdemeanor it depends upon what kind of crime it was it really is a shame when young people make stupid mistakes and if it's the only mistake that they make in their lives that it follows them but it does it can follow you there you know in certain instances you can retain an attorney and make a motion to expunge your record after a period of time in many jurisdictions and depending upon the level of misdemeanor really what it was I like I don't like to tell the story but I do tell the story since we are in an intimate setting of one of my children who is now a physician very successful and a wonderful family guy and has two great kids and he was 20 years old and he was on Long Island with some friends and he was drinking a beer in a paper bag and they have an open container rule Oh in on Long Island huh well that's not a good thing is that a misdemeanor I don't remember well it was but what he did when they said could we see your identification he took out his brother's identification who was 23 years old my god well which is not only thing but which is a childish thing to do now the brother at that time was applied for admission to the bar Oh I would all got very complicated now what is a very successful lawyer and what is a very successful doctor and those that ridiculous episode right fortunately did not impact on well but I tell that story because people should know and should tell their children that stupid things that they do like posting some of the most intimate details of their young lives on the Internet is the most ridiculous thing you could do companies schools graduate schools Bar Association's can open up your Facebook page right looking on your Facebook page and see you you know it's some drunk party yeah you know it's it's South Beach during spring break acting like a fool doing things that are marginally legal dressed in a scantily clad outfit or no outfit and it's there and it's there you can't suck it back from the internet oh my you know I'm not proficient at the other but you can't take it back so you really have to impress upon children that what they do not when they're eight or nine but what what they do when they're 16 and 17 18 that might have an impact on their lives and and here's something live from Stacey what are the downsides of taking someone to court over a relatively small amount of money like $500 or $800 what's the downside sometimes stress and aggravation I've really not been to court personally other than and in my work fortunately for me but did have the opportunity and it was really not a pleasant opportunity for me to have to appear at it at a hearing where we live in Greenwich Connecticut because one of my neighbors did something that was really not right and we had to stop it and I went and I was testified and I said to Gerry and this was years ago it was the most stress that I ever really my heart was pounding in my chest and I'm used to being in court when so one of the downsides is your stress how much is your time how much is your aggravation worth and what is the likelihood that there is going to be even if it's a positive result you're going to get the money at the end I mean you could have one of these victories that is empty right and get your judgment for 800 dollars and say well I'm vindicated well you're only vindicated if you get the money right so there are lots of things that I would think about before I would go into I think this dress is amazing a deal this is from Irene and she's right here live do you sometimes regret any of your verdicts you know I've made so many decisions during the course of this now 25 or 30 year career that I I try to get as much information as I can and make the best judgment that I can with that information I'm not I've never been motivated by anything political or monetary so I really tried to use 110 percent of my effort to get the information and to make a decision once you do that it's not wise to revisit it in the Family Court you it was particularly difficult because sometimes you were dealing with whether or not to return a baby to a mother who had been addicted to crack or heroin and many of my colleagues who some of whom were bright some of them not so bright but some of whom were very bright and caring people had incidents where they did take that leap of faith and return a child and that child was killed and you never get over that judgment so that somebody has told you that you've made a man judgment right I I was fortunate and I think it's just a matter of luck that I managed to get out of Family Court without having one of those episodes but I don't revisit the answer is I don't look back and say gee I could have done it differently I just do too many yet I understand I think that's correct in any job this is live from Charlotte you seem extremely tough when dealing with cases involving teens why is that sign but is that true ah well I think teenagers we'll do dumb things and somebody's not telling them that they're done mm-hmm I'd say you're trying to change I then I think that the the excuse excuse we've made excuses for children in the past 30 or 40 years it's not really their fault if the teacher doesn't understand them the teachers not motivating them appropriately if they act up in class or punch the teacher or punch somebody else it's because the teacher didn't learn proper controls and I remember as a child when my teacher gave me a you note that I had to have signed by my mother or father because I had talked down in class or it said something that was disrespectful I cried all the way home I didn't know how my parents were going to respond to that but I knew it wasn't going to be positive right so but today if you write a note and you say to a teacher you know a teacher writes a note and says I'd like you to come in and discuss Johnny's behavior they say well why didn't you try to correct it that was your job so that you as a teacher right there's nothing wrong with Johnny so when I have teenagers who you know will drive drunk trash a car and their parent who always has to be with them and they're under the age of 18 right as well it really wasn't their fault so one so told them to take the car and to drive someplace so even said well I said but they were drunk right they knew that they weren't so a supposed to drink because they're under the age of 21 and being you know enough everybody knows that you don't get behind the wheel of a car drunk it's their fault yeah well it's not their fault it's the person who survived rightly pause right exactly so you really are taking on the job of trying to teach these teenagers something well somebody has to give them a lesson and I don't mind doing that job no that's great this is an interesting question I'll bet you have a good answer for this this is from Melinda and she's live right here she's what are the lessons if any which you hope your viewers will learn watching your shows responsibility mm-hmm I think that that's the major if I had to define what I'm trying to do whatever the message of my program is is the responsibility people are supposed to have to themselves to their children to their community to their government to their just that sense of I am part of a community I'm not supposed to do anything to denigrate from it you know if you have I'm big believer in if you have children you're supposed to support them right that's your job right and if you can only support two children you're supposed to have two children you're not supposed to have 12 children and also responsibility for yourself respond to take care of yourself and not to not to spend so much trying trying to get over a system work within your said because you feel better I know so many smart people who spend so much trying time trying to be devious yeah and if they spent that much positive effort and energy to find to the skill that they had to be to find out what their jet what they're good at to figure out how to exploit that to make a great living they would be successful right REE motivating retooling I love that it's about responsibility it's wonderful I think I want to get a couple more questions in in this day and age where technology is so readily available do you see a lot of cases involving online bullying we've seen some cases involving online bullying I must admit to you I am NOT literate in this new world of electronics right I think we discuss but when I say not literate that's an understatement my brain just isn't wired that way and I've been able to escape that so I like oversee the online book I wouldn't be able to come to you with a case occasionally people come with online bullying but there you are there's no difference but other than more people see it right bullying is bullying and have you had bullying cases cuz I oh yes I'm passionate about yes I like bullying cases and and how does it get resolved it's so interesting that the excuses by the parents of the bully are mm-hmm rather than the person who's been bullied right sometimes unbelievable they would come back right back to the word responsibility they say well if it was going on in the school it was a school problem well you don't teach morals and ethics and empathy and kindness and kindness in school you teach that at home and shows our learn by example when they're wrong right so that you know we don't ask you as parents to teach algebra and science and chemistry and history it's a parent responsibility that's where it starts right and if you're not doing your job as a parent don't blame the school because it happened to happen on school ground as where's your responsibility you made them I agree this is interesting I'm done of this this is from Eva who's live right there do the litigants actually pay out the money to the winner of the case or does the network pay it we do not ask the litigants to pay the judgments however most of the cases that we have in Vellore many of the cases that we have involved the transfer of property you know you get your TV back you get your car back you sign the title over to the car that they must do they must abide by the decision if I dismiss a case and which happens half the time right that case is dismissed for all purposes right so it's a mixed bag but if there is a monetary judgment the program pays that monetary judgment so that the litigants know that they will be paid if there is a financial judgment innovative that seems odd the network of it I would never thought that well they do because otherwise we become a collection agency all I think because the people agree once they file the case in the in the small claims court and come on our program to dismiss that case with prejudice so they can never bring it back I'm okay claims court so then the program in addition to producing what we like to think is wonderful programming would also be a collection agency which we can too now this is interesting this is live from Kyle and he really needs to know this I've recently been accepted to a number of law schools two questions how should I decide which school to attend and second how can I know that going to law school is the thing for me to do in the first place well first Kyle you applied so you must have had something back here in your mind that said to you you know I think the law would be an interesting profession for me I think the most fabulous profession if your head is wired that way and you applied to law schools already Kyle knowing which law schools you had a shot of getting into right because of your LS ATS and your grades so you knew that the four or five that you applied to work within a reality for you so you've already narrowed that down yourself now once you've been accepted to three or four I would pick the one where you would have the least distractions hmm that's great that's how I feel about going in a location as an actress I love going in location because my phone doesn't ring right nobody wants anything I can get my work done that's so interesting here's interesting from Lynn what is the best advice you can give young people to prevent them from coming before you you know first of all I think you know that golden rule that is I know it's old but do want to others as you would have others do want to know is really if we could teach that to our children to them from the time that they you know can learn I have a thinking process that means don't cheat anybody else because you wouldn't like to be treated but don't hurt anybody else because you wouldn't like to be hurt right don't act irresponsibly with somebody else's property because you wouldn't like somebody responsibly to us so you know eyes go down the ten commands that's it but you know that's the one that comes right up that being a good citizen you know if you don't like to walk down the street and look at trash all over the street and say gee that's disgusting well then don't take that piece of gum and throw the paper on the floor or use a tissue and throw the but on the phone I was just one P like a checkpoint issue politics well that's all it takes so you have to be responsive to be responsive okay there we go oh here's a good one I read on an interview this is from Jodi that you like to play gin rummy with families and co-workers who usually wins and are you as tough a player as you are a judge well actually I'm a lucky gin rummy player because when you play gin rummy you're good players remember the cards in other people's hands you know what they pick up mm-hmm and I just want worry about what's in my own hand I don't worry about my own business so when I win it's usually lucky or because I'm playing with a second-rate player oh you're not distracted this is from Vicki what kind of challenges have you faced being a female in the judicial arena is it different for women well it was and I'll tell you do we have time for a cute little story right and we have it when I was first appointed to the bench in the Family Court my second assignment was in the Bronx in New York City and we shared a Criminal Court building which we should have build in with the criminal court judges and the criminal court judges always thought that they will want to step above the Family Court judges why I don't know but they did and most of them were men at that time I was appointed to the bench in 1982 and they had a good old boys lunch room one judge was responsible for bringing lunch every day really not only were Family Court judges not welcome there but suddenly the women were not welcome there didn't even know who we were but one day I had the occasion to go into the lunch room because I had to ask one of my colleagues if they could release a lawyer after lunch for a trial that I had with many litigants so I walked into the lunch room and one of these Neanderthal Criminal Court judges was there and he had brought the lunch that day and he came over to me and I was sitting there having conversation he came over to me and said to me little girl little girl this is a judges courtroom you could get your cattle but I knew that the way to humiliate him was to say whoo excuse me I'm just here to clean up and I walked around the room it took everybody's dirty play oh you're kidding me leaned them off and you're a judge then I walked back into my chambers and would you believe it about five minutes later this judge came storming into my chambers to give me a hard time because I made him look foolish oh that's wild so and that was actually on the radar it's actually the only problem that I ever had that's a great story well I would not have thought you were gonna handle it that way but that's brilliant yes okay yeah you brilliant no wonder you're so good all right I think we are out of time I'm getting avoiding yelling at me let's see what this one last one she's I really it from Nellie I really do love Judge Judy but wonder if she hadn't gone into law what career path would you have chosen can you answer that quick yes I probably would have been a stand-up comedian actually so would I am what a coincidence an F well I I'm sorry that I can't but uh go on when you have somebody like Judge Judy here and she's got all these terrific answers and we all love her so much you mean you get to think you know somebody when you're watching my TV ology below we say that to me and they say family I feel that way about you anyway it's been an amazing time we're out of time and I thank you Judge Judy here with Judy now y'all call your Judge Judy it was lovely for me thank you thank you and next week please tune in we've got it's going to be the day after Mother's Day next Monday and we're going to have that wonderful working mommy of three Kelly Ripa to come and tell us how she does it how does she go on television every day and and raise these wonderful three kids and be a wonderful wife and be gorgeous and skinny can't wait to talk to her so see you next week

Channel: marlothomas

Views: 183,066

Keywords: Marlo Thomas, Career Changing, how to be successful, judge judy, mondays with marlo, success, Career (Broadcast Genre)

Id: lLIDBdS8ryQ

Length: 28min 39sec (1719 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 22 2012