Marcus D. Wiley (Comedian) @ J.M.G.C. 170707f

that's uh y'all all right okay Oh can I actually come down here I feel a child up he'll fill the towel look yeah look taller come down here so I can look at your face real good y'all all right for those you that don't know my um markers on D while they are fast asleep I said I I kind of invited myself tonight yeah I try to see if the church doors really open and so on haha and I'm glad they were glad they will appreciate y'all for allowing me to come through on your Friday night service what do y'all call it Friday Night Live yes and give it up everybody that's been on stage tonight everybody administer so all pass are you preaching tonight and reason why master so I can know which how to navigate my what I'm doing you're not preaching night somebody preaching hos on me okay oh I might want to get back up on stage then I didn't know this was going tonight but yeah appreciate everything God the hospitality has been fantastic y'all picked the right guy to come pick me up DJ pays for DJ paid for can pick me up I want you all to know that the a/c in his car works well I'm talking about it's cool up in that Joan and so that's good now I gotta say this when I got to the hotel I saw a bottle of wine in my room and listen when I noticed that I saw that it was apple cider y'all can relax but I just want to say cuz I've been to churches what he tests me and I don't pass tests will I be trying don't test me I'm I'm not a good test taker wasn't a good test taker in high school or college oh because I remember I was in Chicago one time and I was doing a New Year's Eve service and the man are brought up bottle of champagne and I said now cuz I didn't aw I didn't order that and he said now compliments you know the hotel and so the folk from the church came picking up I went did the show and I had told him folk I said listen in case whoever gonna come back later tomorrow when I leave to see if I drink which I left me save your gas money I'm a drink and I'm not I just told the truth I just told the truth to the people yeah don't don't don't bring it to my room cuz imma drink it and so on yeah I don't know who sent it but I you know I took care of that okay so let me get to it so y'all you can relax I'm saved I'm saying yeah I'm saved I'm a preacher's kid and I'm saved I'm just one of them Christians that's on the edge you know and don't push me cause I'm close to the okay okay I'm just trying to see what type of church on me and that's Lila this one I'm feeling I'm feeling out a lot right now I'm filling out I'm a preacher's kid my father's a pastor my grandfather's the pastor my great-grandfather he's the pastor God called me to Pastor I didn't he called me back said he had the wrong number he got jokes - he got jokes I've been in church my entire life my entire life I've been in church and I don't know the difference between a test and a blessing I don't know when God is testing me or when he's blessing me yeah I was at my favorite restaurants called Chili's I love the chips and the salsa yeah and I mention he's in the waitress brought me my bill my bill was $17 i cater waitress $20 she brought me back $75 of change is that a test oh I got a blessing [Music] against that depends on if you saved or if you're saved and delivered because if you're saved and delivered that's a test but oh if you just saved may not come when you won't him I gonna lock you up that change huh I did I kept a change man gas was high I kept that money man and y'all I am all you know I'm one of these Christian guys that's all you know I'm a regular guy regular guy what I mean by that is I grew up in church you know I've worked in every ministry at the church but I'm I'm a regular dude and when I got older I got to the point of my life why start telling the truth and it feels good to just be able to tell the truth not like I don't do a whole lot of lying no mo I used to lie lied because that's what you wanted to hear but now I just tell the truth like for instance like I'm not a prayer warrior that feels so good look at that to be able to tell people in church I am NOT a prayer warrior don't get me wrong I pray every day but I'm not a prayer warrior what I'm trying to say is if you own yo sick beat don't call me you might want to call the lady that's been up all night over there Kyle huh seem like she get a prayer through yeah you know you don't want to call me you don't call me cuz number one you're not gonna like how I pray see first of all my prayers are short I hit it to the Lord he hit it right back to me I don't know who started these marathon prayers the Bible said pray often it never said it pray long you got to read it to know this cell for real you're not gonna like I pray because when I pray I use regular words let the church say regular listen when I pray I don't use a whole lot of Prayer jargon a lot of whole lot a whole lot of prayer vernacular a lot of Prayer colloquialisms I read in the Bible he my friend so I talked to him like a friend so when I pray I use regular I say stuff like God appreciate you God good looking out on that check I wasn't expecting that money I mean you know just regular words don't I use regular words but I also pray in my regular voice that's the voice I was born with people who talk regular like me and then get up here and pray in another voice they scare me you know they appear talking like this then when it's time to pray day eternal God I'll be out there like who is this I'll bet God be like who is this and they wonder why they pray I don't get answered that's because he don't know who brands be yourself when you pray yeah yeah sister it's rare I closed my eyes when I pray don't get me wrong if the pastor say bow your head close your eyes I'm obedient but when I'm by myself I don't close my what friend do you talk to with your eyes closed you know me like so where y'all going when we leave church tonight you know oh yeah I don't close my I don't even what I'm about to eat y'all all I pray for is the food I don't care what the occasion is I don't care what the holiday is when I'm about to eat all I pray for is the food I'm about to eat I don't pray for President Obama he kind of steal my president I don't pray but I don't pray for Afghanistan when I'm about to eat I just thank the Lord for this food I'm about to receive for the nourishment of my body amen [Applause] look at the food steal hide them I'm not praying for the hands that prepared it I'm not praying for the servers I don't care nothing about them why do y'all pray for them they got a job why do you they're already got a job pray for people who don't have a job that's their job to serve okay what I really don't like is when I get to a table and people want to hold hands and pray man I just washed my hands in the restroom I don't want to hold your dirty hands man oh that's a locale about a pastor just daddy ain't breaching you already rushing me oh yeah so watch this watch this job what is it yeah so I'm like one of what you call like a happy I'm a happy Christian feel this I'm a happy Christian and what I notice in just my travels there are a lot of folk who are Christian they love the Lord come to church all the time and unhappy and I'm trying to understand how it's like an oxymoron you know even go together how do people who say they are overcomers more than conquerors greater resilience I mean in all the scriptures but then they are never laughing never smiling okay and so is chewing my and then and then I know why a lot of times Christians don't laugh and I know why they don't laugh because and it's likely have this thing called um bills right can I get a witness bills have a way of sucking laughter right out of you you know you ever woke up in a good mood yeah woke up in a real good mood you're in a good mood kiss your little spouse baby yeah playing with the key look I get out of here then you on your way to the mailbox you just dancing I got it on your way to the mailbox doing stuff you never do like speaking to your neighbor Hey then you get to that mailbox you them bills they got you I want to share with you tonight that bills are not a burden bills are blessing got change how you look at it bills are not a burden bills are blessing bills indicate you have life I've never seen the mailman take mail to a graveyard bills indicate you have life the problem is some of us have life more abundant thats it but don't stop laughing ain't that what you've been praying for abundance Christian scared me you you a button has come with a bill yeah yes yeah just because the Lord give it to you don't mean you ain't got to pay for it you know all the Scriptures good measure pressed down take it together running or you got it you got it you got it but man but you can't let it you cannot let bills maintain their bills get you you can't let bills get you and that's what I learned can they bill because like I got a cousin I'm I feel I feel like I'm feel like I'm in tune with y'all now so I can really talk regular oh I got a cuz like I want to show you so you can't be no Christian and and and and let little things get you down man do y'all know folk who don't go to church handle storms better then people who go to church people who go to church should be strolling ready we built for the stone but the folk who don't go to church man they know how to handle a stone so I gotta look cousin y'all in a little air if I say little air my cousin little Larry he's a armed a street pharmacist Oh y'all with me y'all we've got women y'all know what street phone from y'all better y'all I was on first 48 in Orlando in here acting like y'all don't know what's going on i watch TV we're live in Orlando there's always going on I hear but listen my cousin Larry he's the street pharmacist right this was the third time he got caught the third time I tried to tell him after the first time cuz you're not good at this oh but he want to be steadfast unmovable so he kept on doing this thing right the third time you got caught my cousin Larry had to go to court and face a storm call prison yeah hey go court face a storm call prison nah we'll say family we don't know how little air fell through the cracks we saved so we go to the court to support our work look whose cuz he still family we still love it waiting for the throw him away we love him plus he's sponsored a whole lot of family reunions [Applause] we donate the man chicken he sponsored the t-shirts all that time stuff who are we who are we 9ag like we ain't gonna support him right so we go to the court and we save so we going to the court we got our Bibles on that home we're going to the code we got our oil we say we're going to the court we got our tongue - am i I mean we are ready to do warfare that judge get up to that judge said Larry Wiley jr. I sentence you to 12 years prison it was my whole safe family doing all that church stuff oh that that was alive no that was telling the truth Larry so drugs lying there's no weapon no Larry was the Whitman and they're getting the weapon off the street but it was Larry that showed me something man Larry because my family y'all my family was acting a donkey now I wanna use the King James Version but this is my first time here so I'm gonna stay with the NIV oh but Larry was that gonna don't hit you him I mean if my family I don't believe he was like he looked up he said hey calm down I did the crime I got a man we was like hmm well that's a good attitude to have they gave my cousin Larry seven days to report to prison seven days to report to his storm for seven days Larry didn't walk around with his head hung low seven days then walk around with a bad attitude talking about what was me snapping at folk but seven days my cousin Larry parted every tape you would've thought he was going to college this is when I learned first lady that people who don't go to church when they in a storm instead of complaining they take advantage of a resources folk who don't go to church when they in a storm instead of complaining they take advantage of a resources because before Larry went to prison Larry had a bill Billy spent some time in prison six-pack took advantage of the prism recreational facility before prison Larry had Gator mouth teeth everywhere spent some time in prison veneers took advantage of the prison benefits package better known as your tax dollars before prison Larry did not know the Lord if you would ask him say man how you in the Lord he like the Lord the Lord was a lad named the Lord was but not elaborate no more Bible than all of us in here put together then Larry gets out of prison and he opens up his own electrician company he was able to do that based off of the degree he received in prison in his storm that's how folk who don't go to church handle stone but you let the Saints got a deal with a stone you list somebody come up on your job and just and just whisper so you don't have to be a real stormy be like a storm forecast let somebody come to your job Monday just like I think they laying off Wow we lose it man we lose if we lose it we lose it and yeah I'm not gonna lie I'm not gonna lie my thing too I think one reason why I'm always up being I stay happiest because now let me just say this for me I exercise balance I mean I was born in church so in order for me to kind of stay sane I have to exercise balance like I'm on the gospel radio station I know y'all had your letter I was going to show here we're no longer here they fired us last year they fired us I don't know what they lied and told y'all but are they fired us but uh you know in the economy of God termination is graduation yeah we'll be back and a whole lot better oh but um but what happened was why she's why she's here what's it they had they had they mean people they fired us on the radio station I love my train of thought well you're a tell y'all balance so I'm only you learn that morning show as soon as I will get off that show I would have to cut on the secular radio station this I like I have to have to listen to secular I have to listen to secular music because y'all when I listen to it I noticed something how they don't broadcast burdens in these songs they don't broadcast bad news in their songs listen nah I don't listen today's songs to get say I'm already to say I'm not looking I just listed a song you know because I need motivation I need inspiration I need encouragement so I have to turn it to the secular radio station stay with me I'm looking for motivation inspiration and encouragement so I got to turn into the secular radio station because they never bring me down have you ever listened to they words all I do is win when when no matter what we riding around we getting it we won't it we spend it gold off in my rain gold off in my chain gold off in my watch don't believe me no y'all know it oh I didn't know oh I didn't know cuz some of you was judging me at first but now it seems like you know what I'm talking about I heard one song it said I ain't got no worries ain't got no worries and I was thinking what kind of God do they serve well they don't have no worries but then I turn it to the gospel station looking for inspiration looking for motivation looking for encouragement and sometimes what they seem to do is remind me of everything I'm dealing with now y'all don't get mad at me cuz these are some of your jams don't get mad at but sometimes you got to take your saved ears off and put on just your regular ears and listen to how some of these songs sound work it out how you gonna pay your rent work it out o yo money spent work it out a little bit to buy some food work it out your baby need a pass shoes working on then you got a light bill dude where can I then you got a gas bill to work it out telephones disconnect work it I waiting on your next pay Lord I'm depressed I am depressed this is depressing he saw the best in me when everyone else around could only see the worse everybody don't nobody I know see something good in me not even my grandmother grandmother's see some good and everybody trouble in my way well can't you go the other way don't your phone got a GPS on it avoid some of these trouble let me show you me and it's because it's something that's been going on for years now y'all I'm not a Church bash I love a church I'm a product of church but I'm just trying to I'm just trying to show you what what how I look at you take some of these sounds why she's here you take some of the songs like take me to the king McGhee an example this song stay number one for two years and y'all love that song I can't stand this song you can't stand it - thank you sister free thank y'all ok thank y'all see how good it feel to be able to say that in here well she feel free liberated I can't say no why is it I can't stand the song I'm not even like the title take me to the king for what he know where I mean yeah yeah see cuz when I read the Bible it said he come that I might have life so what I'm gonna her to go see him I like it down here yeah matter of fact y'all might my father when my dad died when my dad died y'all they had his casket at the front of the church they had my daddy casket up in the front and you should have seen my family and the church family how they was acting at the show oh it was acting up it was that gonna donkey take me with him put me in the casket I looked at my daddy casket I said that looked like a one-bedroom [Applause] ain't no room in there for me I might but people like to put on the show at the funeral because they missed the show you know Carl life so they kind of try to put a quick show on right there but watch this why says here what is it I listen to the words that take me to the king man I had to take off my saying this oh my goodness this the number one song gonna cut your plan all secular stations and gospel station and the words truth is this the first light truth is um why are we always tired but over on the second where they say I don't get tired I got six done oh yeah yeah I don't know it I don't get tired but why we tied yeah options are few and you want me to join your church I'm trying to pray where are you I'm all jump ministry doubt hurt abused when I did my research what I learned was that secular artists they sing about their lives we may not like it it sounds foolish but it's they life God's waters don't really sing about they life they sing about what they think your life is about yeah reason why I say that cuz I know Tamela Mann Tamela Mann options are few stay woke Tamela Mann options she when every time I cut my TV on she got a Tai Chi in a Tyler Perry play Tyler Perry movie got a whole sitcom all around a TV show on tour just wrote a book one two grandmas shame about her life talking about yours yeah so you gotta be careful you gotta be careful man you gotta be careful on what you always take in there cuz sometimes that might be what's making the way you can't smile well you can't laugh see I'm up beat I'm up I don't let little stuff get me down lift stuff it can't possibly get me down okay and it pains me when I seem a good Christian folk getting down specially over little stuff like let's say like when when the gas get hot it don't be a whole lot of secular folk tripping a worldly folk be my good church folk passing up 15 gas stations trying to save you what is that what is that that's that's that's 205 I can get 203 and you almost drove to Tampa trying to say to sing and I bet God be looking down going Reese you don't trust me but to see reason why don't trip over live stuff like when the gas get high cuz I understand when gas is high sin is low I said I don't trip because I understand when gas is high sin is low yeah see when the gas is low sin is running all through Orlando when the gas is low phone calls in the middle of the night are totally different oh yeah a can fun okay when the gas is low you could live in Orlando and your boo could live in Tampa when the gas low phone call in the middle of night be like this was uh you sleep a little [Applause] wow I'm about to drive down there okay [Music] that's how it is when the gas is but when the gas is high that's a whole nother phone call in the middle of night when the gas high you can live in Orlando and your Booker live in Orlando and that phone can't be more like hello was I you sleep a little Wow Oh cuz I'm in for the night huh I'm just calling checking on you seeing are you door you're going to church Sunday I'll see you that so why you be complaining the Lord really means making all things work together yeah yeah the way you ain't super trippin like that now watch it I'm gonna give you some stuff on my new project I'm gonna give some on my latest project a project is kind of my jokes matter and I won't give you some of it tonight the good Lord has shown me revelation and I'm for real oh it is so middle of Revelation I wanna share with you on tonight y'all I'm looking at church I traveled every weekend so I get chance to see churches all across the country and and I'm looking at churches and what I'm noticing is this same theme the numbers for church across the country are going down new the thing about I saw the Lightning going I thought it was the laws out here but then that's lightning lightning okay the numbers are down at the churches and so because I was drugged to church I like I didn't have a choice but even my son now my son is nine and they have things like a a he played AAU ball and that takes him out of church a lot and I'm looking at myself like man if this was going on during my day I wouldn't been able to play hey you ball you know cuz my dad even like cuz know now you're gonna be a church son about life oh but my son he missed a little Ganga church and and so I started doing research and I was wondering you know what can the church do in order to captivate those that typically don't go to church what is it gonna take and man it came to me y'all my good friend invited me to the Texan game that's how a football team in Houston were called the Houston Texans we saw hurry but we make it to the playoffs every year oh but we saw it and he told me pass that he said hey I'll come to the game and dumb on when you get to come to the game and come early cuz we tailgate I say oh man all right I'll come through that I come after church she said no no no no no you gotta get there early we tailgate I say what time is tailgate he said we could out there by 6:00 a.m. this on a Sunday I'm time I folk all day you get into a tailgate earlier than you would typically get to your job and this show-off day stay whoa pay attention so I said I I come through y'all when I get out there it was unbelievable if you want to see true genuine fellowship I beseech you therefore brethren to go to a tailgate for the church to get to this next level this next dimension where we're getting the folk coming we got to increase the fellowship aspect stay with me um I won't got there when I walk down see all this I saw my god patio furniture dinette sets and living room scents and big-screen flat screens and jacuzzis and all type of stuff out here what I noticed was everybody out there was operating and they gift they was doing what they do well with no criticism no judgment not a whole lot of rules if I just doing a thing okay y'all look at that fun let me show you okay so over here I like this I want to put this on my wonder walls in my house I want to just tell y'all that Oh but over here over here you had the Asian community and they was over here with a shrimp fried rice and they sushi and they psyche and they egg rolls and they fortune cookies and all this type of stuff right and they was just sharing just give man you want to try it here BAM over here you had the Hispanics and they had they not chose they tacos they burritos they coronis they are margaritas and uh and they were so nice Marco she won't want our like nylon drink but let me taste it a minute Oh tasting see I'm in over here you had the white community and they had they sandwiches and they cheese and they crack us and they wines and they hummus and a trail mix and they couscous but then over here you had my people black people fried chicken fried fish fried shrimp gumbo barbeque Hennessy Tanqueray Jack Daniels gavazzi a Jim Beam Ciroc Armadale coolers light Miller Lite Bud Light all the lights let your light so shine that men may see your good work I mean it was left I fell here's the point it was time for the game to start I look at my boy I said hey bro it's time for the game starts y'all ready he say man shoes we don't stay out here I said what he said man he go the tickets if you want to go go and go in but we don't hang out in I say let me get this straight so we at the game but we're not going in the game what I'm trying to share with you is that the fellowship outside was so contagious that you don't even have to come inside and there's a new generation of people I don't care how pretty the church is gonna get hi well past the preach I wear the praise team seen so far so on it's just gonna be some people they just not coming in and it's gonna be up to us to take what we've learned in out you wit me God tell you to learn in how I just believe not it just got to be a new it's gotta be a new day it's got to be a change whoo baby is that that need a woman back in my day they would take this knuckle right here sister Jess when nobody look at you but I think there's got to be there's got to be new there's got to be new ministries it's got to be new ministries not the church not the traditional ministries of you know the UH shows the the such a such and such but ministries where people are utilizing their actual gifts and talents turn by job that's just sir that's where I said not I think because see when I was growing up I don't know if y'all don't know was like this in Orlando but wasn't nothing open on Sundays when I when I grew up in Houston what nothin open on son of a church but not everything open on Sunday and so not a church is compete the paternity is competing with everything and I'm gonna tell you it's five churches it's five churches in this world right now these are the top five churches I want to give them tell y'all one of them tell you how this tonight but I I got to get me a spy these are the five top churches that all churches should be gleaning from Costco samms Walmart Starbucks and chick-fil-a if you think I'm lying watch this if you are a member of Costco put your hands up if you're a member of Sam's put your hands up if you frequent Walmart put your hands up if you frequent Starbucks put your hands up if you frequent chick-fil-a put your hands up now you think you a member jump no those your churches but watch this in for good reason it's something that they do that we all should be looking at I love kakapo Costco and Sam's together I have I got membership to both these are my favorite stores Costco and Sam's these are my two favorite stores in the entire world but I paid attention to what it is that they do that attracts me first of all I'm a member they gave me a card it's in my wallet and because I'm a member they let me be they let me be when I walk in they don't put no pressure on me I don't think that you need a basket hey that's not that sound ass they let me beat when I walk in they'll say hey tie your shoes they don't say hey take the hat off you know they don't say hey Lord a skirt you know or whatever they they they just let me be first a thing cuz I'm a member I'm a member they let me be what I really love is they have all these sample stations listen listen they got all these sound stations and they just give they just like you know try this I just be trying stuff matter of fact when I go pick up my son from my son from school I take him to Costco or Sam's that's what we go eat do you like that I'm hungry I got a place for you cuz I'm a member and they gotta pay for this I'm a member I just go what I just I eat it's beautiful thing Walmart look what Walmart do Walmart anyway you can go where you can get a lawn more and a loaf of bread under the same roof well Walmart is saying is man whatever you need we got it and our church has got to get to the point - well whatever folk need right here people think that they gonna get blessed up here and that's cool I managed to act like you came but man you'll be sitting next to the blessing every day I mean every Sunday man people come to church need a job pastor be trying turn to your neighbor tell your neighbor you only talk to your neighbor is a manager supervisor know somebody is hiring but we'll never know can we all never talk you know where we in town William Tell right and Walmart is saying man you gotta be more than a sermon a song and a prayer you gotta be a job you gotta be a ride you gotta be advice you gotta be all kind of hearing all over the church be moving on take Starbucks I mean man I don't drink coffee teas and then the patient dude I go to Starbucks for the fellowship I do for the movers and the Shakers there's always us a geeky white boy in there with a laptop some dread head black dude these be smart people I'm right there will I'm trying to find what's next what's the next move what's the next move of God because they are hating right because because they know this type of stuff but what I love about Starbucks they never say hey if you ain't buying nothing get out of here they never say that they it just be crowded with people people that ain't even drinking eating or nothing just sitting there using a free Wi-Fi they never tell you get out because they understand if you keep coming if you keep coming you gonna get up in that line at some point you let me get a mocha latte supercalifragilistic expialidocious in five minutes kill me I was off I went to chick-fil-a chick-fil-a chick-fil-a Oh y'all one day it was storming in Houston and I went chick-fil-a and the line was wrapped around the Lowe's and the Home Depot I mean the line they drive through lines just long line because they members go to church in bad weather it's crazy Oh uh-huh yeah that don't stop them to be hasty I'm going to get them nuggets and so it's all right they showed up so when I got in the line I'm in the line and the closer I got I saw this black girl outside in the storm umbrella taking orders I got man I'm about to call blacklivesmatter why is this why is his girl out here in this bad well when I got up to her she was like hey welcome chick-fil-a how may I serve you I said why are you idea she was like what is my job I said well why they got you out here you know this me talk she was like oh it's okay it's okay what you having like me the nerd is fried you know lemonade fruit cup when she took money she said anything else I said in song she was like it was my pleasure I'm mad I get my food I get my food I Drive all pay attention jumpin mr. Jeff any mister our grab is the part right here with two fingers yeah but why is it I was driving Oh I was driving off y'all and it dawned on me why am I upset because she got a good attitude in a storm what are they teaching at these particular entities and we can and we can actually glean from it so here it is I'm about to close that's the good Pete preachers were safe thank you sir oh I'm in my barbershop y'all as I am that I'm a barbershop and then my barbershop they have a arm we have these in-depth conversations at the barbershop right and I go to a barbershop where they are where they speak in an unknown tongue y'all got me yeah it's a lot of penis and my barbershop and are they they raw they unfilled I mean no filter you know and I love it I'm cool with it yeah yeah I don't get offended I'm okay right because that's how I want to hear but the question came up why me and particularly don't go to church it was like man man why y'all go to church so my bobble my first says shoes I don't go to church because the people faint my job he said I'll go church cause the folk all fake I said what he said yeah everybody meant thing I said now broke open I faked they understand they need a Savior okay trying to get their lives together best way they can some people go about it in some strange ways but nevertheless everybody they're just realizing they need a higher they need something greater to make it cool next he jumped up said I don't go to church cuz all they want is your money I said homeboy what else do you go in the world what they don't want yo money I said I don't even and you get what you paid for I don't even want to go somewhere where they don't want money it killed me high when money come up in church don't get tired as if as if look at this this cows yeah that's house ah Coast banks Coast man just get used to it get off this freaky thangs cows right but the last dude pastor this is the one that got me he got up that boy said man I don't go to church cuz I don't see where I fit I said what he said I don't see where I fit that one go i'ma try to go some churches I don't fit and man y'all he got me because even when I don't fit I know how to fit in but just because you fit in don't mean you fit sure what I mean like at my daddy Church when they need a uh sure I know how to usher I don't want to but I know how to do it I know how to go I know how to do it I don't want to do it I don't want to do it I don't want to do it and I remember my father church man my dad that he had this thing well he would actually run members away he didn't know he was doing it but he'll run folk away because he did not take the time out to get there fit he didn't get they fit so them sure would mean like my daddy he'd preach a sermon right here preach a sermon and my father he feel like listen if I hadn't studied all week when I opened the doors of church somebody gonna join oh I won't close them man my dad of a host we open the doors the church he all night he gonna he gonna is that one today yeah come my dad is a yin yang he wastes his studying is that one violetta Christian experience canticle baptism is there one right nobody would join nobody will come then my dad would say okay I guess we all saved and here the end but I want to make this last appeal to you so if you leave here tonight and you drive home and when you get to your house there's a mean man the devil has sent that's hiding behind your front door with a 12-gauge shotgun as soon as you open your spoon are you sure heaven will be your home man your start seeing dudes just walk down there they want to join I gotta come now right when they will get there my daddy would give them the right hand of fellowship welcome welcome them to the church but then he'll say brother I know a good spot for you he'll even know him he met with him he's not a prophet yes I know a good place for you want to put you in the parking lot ministry brother be like man I don't wanna be outside my daddy will put folk in the sound booth they not engineers they have no interest in sound just not then just put them in there near now tuner to get mad at them because they don't fit there he'll say stuff like hey man turn me up in the monitors dude in the back [Music] hey brother turn me up do just push them all up so the thing is I thank you why is it it's helping folk finally fit then when they find they fit they can flourish at the church when they finally fit when they finally fit I'll finally fit because you know the church is full of folk who I know live you shouldn't be in the choir I ain't talking about nobody in here this is my first time here i hain't heard y'all quiet so you double jump I'm just talking about what I see and reason why I know that cuz I was in my daddy quiet and I was just helping a ministry though I was just I'm just having my daddy that's how we eat but uh but I was in the quad and I remember the day I quit we were singing this song o Lord we give you praise oh no are we blast you know but I get to this part of say for your goodness and your mercy towards us and the praise team need to look quite direct or he gonna come and say hey I don't want y'all to say good I want y'all to say goood I said what you said I want y'all to say good I want y'all to say goood I said look homeboy went to college oh that's not how the word is pronounced he said I don't care how it's pronounced I want you to see it the way I want you to see it I said man I ain't finna say no good whatever each time by what if you ain't gonna say goo did you could get out the choir say well goodbye and then I told them and your pants too tight to everybody in there talking about you ain't gonna say it to your face but since I'm about to lead your little old choir your pants too tight loosen your britches up buddy but here's the thing this thing the choir wasn't my fit and so when we get these new ministers now fokin here that do hair folk that do nails and and and folk do taxes that folks do all this here all this type of stuff should be available I believe just going forward on Sundays it should be available on Sundays should be ready because Church got to become nigh the Hangout like Costco and Sam's and Wall more just just let me just let me come in let me come hi let folk let me come me people let me come let fro view their gives I know a bunch of me I think the church should tailgate I do some of your hood was one come in here but there go my damn barbecue I know a bunch of men who loved they won't never come in here but they love to work on your cars who wouldn't need all change look at you wouldn't be lying you come to church and you got the brothers out there taking care that you can have a speak out there they listen to Pastor they gonna come here they can hand they be up there that's all them today ain't it oh I think that's my time Oh y'all judge I just talked about this they never does this at Costco y'all trippin cuz I gotta flip on it's a phone it works somebody need to humble yourself you need on the lightning over yourself yeah if your job ain't upgraded you why you had an iPhone 9 humble yourself you keep going up and upgrading and your money ain't been upgrading humble yourself no I feel a message coming out what is a good place to go because y'all let me tell you something there's pros and cons to this phone its pros and cons I'm gonna start with the con okay I go live I cook you I can't get on that's the ground man I could get on all the social media stuff I don't need to be on there anyway right can't get on that right hang on I can't get no pitches rush screen ain't big enough for a pitch yeah everything's like a little dot oh and it'd take a long time to text because I'll keep pushing the same button to get to the letter so it'd take me about 10 minutes to takes hello [Music] yeah but not let me give you the pros my bill is low I can hang up in people face like this shut up and the number one thing about this phone is like some of y'all in here right now you probably got one ball in that phone I ain't charged this since Valentine's Day and I'm fully loaded in here I'm walking wildly man I appreciate y'all thank you [Applause] [Music]

Channel: J.U.M.P. MINISTRIES LIVE

Views: 244,299

Rating: 4.6295094 out of 5

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Id: uejGWt2whbs

Length: 60min 50sec (3650 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 07 2017