ADOPTED, AND IT WASN’T UNTIL HE WAS 18 THAT HE FINALLY LEARNED WAS 18 THAT HE FINALLY LEARNED THE TRUTH. THE TRUTH. >> ON MY FAMILY’S FARM IN >> ON MY FAMILY’S FARM IN KANSAS, I FOUND OUT EVERYTHING I KANSAS, I FOUND OUT EVERYTHING I KNEW ABOUT MYSELF WAS A LIE. KNEW ABOUT MYSELF WAS A LIE. >> Reporter: STEVE GREW UP IN >> Reporter: STEVE GREW UP IN KANSAS, SURROUNDED BY A LARGE KANSAS, SURROUNDED BY A LARGE FAMILY. FAMILY. >> THIS IS MY FAMILY. >> THIS IS MY FAMILY. MY DEVOUTLY CATHOLIC PARENTS MY DEVOUTLY CATHOLIC PARENTS RAISED EIGHT KIDS IN THIS TINY RAISED EIGHT KIDS IN THIS TINY FARMHOUSE BEFORE I CAME ALONG. FARMHOUSE BEFORE I CAME ALONG. >> Reporter: STEVE KNEW HE WAS >> Reporter: STEVE KNEW HE WAS ADOPTED BUT ALWAYS FELT LOVED, ADOPTED BUT ALWAYS FELT LOVED, ESPECIALLY BY HIS SIBLINGS, ESPECIALLY BY HIS SIBLINGS, INCLUDING HIS BROTHER, DENNIS. INCLUDING HIS BROTHER, DENNIS. >> YOU WERE PARADED AROUND LIKE >> YOU WERE PARADED AROUND LIKE YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE. YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE. WE WENT EVERYWHERE. WE WENT EVERYWHERE. WE WENT TO EVERY FAMILY REUNION, WE WENT TO EVERY FAMILY REUNION, EVERY CHURCH EVENT. EVERY CHURCH EVENT. MOM HAD A BIG COMMITMENT TO MOM HAD A BIG COMMITMENT TO PUTTING YOU OUT THERE. PUTTING YOU OUT THERE. >> Reporter: BUT THERE WAS A >> Reporter: BUT THERE WAS A SECRET THAT EVERYONE KEPT FROM SECRET THAT EVERYONE KEPT FROM STEVE, A SECRET ORCHESTRATED BY STEVE, A SECRET ORCHESTRATED BY HIS FAMILY SINCE BIRTH. HIS FAMILY SINCE BIRTH. >> IT WAS AN OPEN SECRET. >> IT WAS AN OPEN SECRET. EVERYBODY KNEW ABOUT IT, BUT EVERYBODY KNEW ABOUT IT, BUT NOBODY TALKED ABOUT IT. NOBODY TALKED ABOUT IT. >> YEAH. >> YEAH. >> Reporter: IT WASN’T UNTIL >> Reporter: IT WASN’T UNTIL STEVE WAS 18 YEARS OLD WHEN HE STEVE WAS 18 YEARS OLD WHEN HE FINALLY LEARNED THE TRUTH. FINALLY LEARNED THE TRUTH. >> I WASN’T SOME RANDOM CHILD. >> I WASN’T SOME RANDOM CHILD. EVEN THOUGH I FULLY BELIEVED I EVEN THOUGH I FULLY BELIEVED I WAS ADOPTED BY STRANGERS. WAS ADOPTED BY STRANGERS. DON AND MARY JANE WEREN’T DON AND MARY JANE WEREN’T STRANGERS. STRANGERS. THEY WERE REALLY MY THEY WERE REALLY MY GRANDPARENTS. GRANDPARENTS. JONI, WHO I BELIEVED WAS MY JONI, WHO I BELIEVED WAS MY OLDEST SISTER, WAS MY MOTHER. OLDEST SISTER, WAS MY MOTHER. >> WOW. >> WOW. >> STEVE’S STORY IS SHARED IN >> STEVE’S STORY IS SHARED IN THE NEW PODCAST "FAMILY THE NEW PODCAST "FAMILY SECRETS," HOSTED BY DANNY SECRETS," HOSTED BY DANNY SHAPIRO. SHAPIRO. HE STARTED THE PODCAST AFTER HE STARTED THE PODCAST AFTER DISCOVERING HER OWN FAMILY DISCOVERING HER OWN FAMILY SECRET, THAT THE MAN WHO RAISED SECRET, THAT THE MAN WHO RAISED HER WAS NOT HER BIOLOGICAL HER WAS NOT HER BIOLOGICAL FATHER. FATHER. STEVEN AND DANI ARE BOTH WITH STEVEN AND DANI ARE BOTH WITH US. US. GOOD MORNING TO YOU. GOOD MORNING TO YOU. >> GOOD MORNING. >> GOOD MORNING. >> I WAS LOOKING AT THE PICTURES >> I WAS LOOKING AT THE PICTURES WITH YOU AND YOUR OLDER SISTER, WITH YOU AND YOUR OLDER SISTER, WHO IS ACTUALLY YOUR MOM. WHO IS ACTUALLY YOUR MOM. DID YOU EVER HAVE ANY IDEA OVER DID YOU EVER HAVE ANY IDEA OVER THE YEARS THAT SOMETHING WAS THE YEARS THAT SOMETHING WAS DIFFERENT? DIFFERENT? >> WELL, IN HINDSIGHT, I WAS >> WELL, IN HINDSIGHT, I WAS LIKE, OF COURSE, BUT NO, I LIKE, OF COURSE, BUT NO, I DIDN’T. DIDN’T. IT JUST SEEMED NORMAL. IT JUST SEEMED NORMAL. THE STORY WAS SO LOCKED IN. THE STORY WAS SO LOCKED IN. >> WOW. >> WOW. >> YEAH. >> YEAH. >> NO, I NEVER REALLY SUSPECTED >> NO, I NEVER REALLY SUSPECTED ANYTHING. ANYTHING. >> HOW WAS THE STORY SO LOCKED >> HOW WAS THE STORY SO LOCKED IN? IN? HOW DID EVERYONE KNOW AND IT HOW DID EVERYONE KNOW AND IT NEVER LEAKED TO YOU? NEVER LEAKED TO YOU? >> PART OF IT WAS THE TIME OF >> PART OF IT WAS THE TIME OF THIS. THIS. IT WAS THE EARLY ’70s OR MID IT WAS THE EARLY ’70s OR MID ’70s, AND ALSO A SMALL TOWN. ’70s, AND ALSO A SMALL TOWN. TIGHT-KNIT COMMUNITY. TIGHT-KNIT COMMUNITY. THE PEOPLE WHO KNEW, THE THE PEOPLE WHO KNEW, THE COMMUNITY MEMBERS WHO KNEW WHO COMMUNITY MEMBERS WHO KNEW WHO DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING WERE TRYING DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING WERE TRYING TO BE GOOD NEIGHBORS. TO BE GOOD NEIGHBORS. >> NOT GET IN YOUR BUSINESS. >> NOT GET IN YOUR BUSINESS. >> PROTECT YOU. >> PROTECT YOU. >> HOW DID YOU ULTIMATELY >> HOW DID YOU ULTIMATELY CONFRONT JONI, YOUR MOTHER, AND CONFRONT JONI, YOUR MOTHER, AND YOUR GRANDPARENTS? YOUR GRANDPARENTS? >> WELL, I DIDN’T FIND OUT UNTIL >> WELL, I DIDN’T FIND OUT UNTIL I WAS 18. I WAS 18. MY TWO BEST FRIENDS TOLD ME FROM MY TWO BEST FRIENDS TOLD ME FROM HIGH SCHOOL. HIGH SCHOOL. THE NIGHT BEFORE MY HIGH SCHOOL THE NIGHT BEFORE MY HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION. GRADUATION. I HELD IT IN FOR ANOTHER MONTH I HELD IT IN FOR ANOTHER MONTH AND A HALF. AND A HALF. THEN I CONFRONTED MY PARENTS THEN I CONFRONTED MY PARENTS ABOUT IT, GRANDPARENTS. ABOUT IT, GRANDPARENTS. BEING AN 18-YEAR-OLD AND ANGRY, BEING AN 18-YEAR-OLD AND ANGRY, I RAN AWAY. I RAN AWAY. GOT IN A CAR AND DROVE TO THE GOT IN A CAR AND DROVE TO THE NEWEST TOWN, 20 MILES AWAY. NEWEST TOWN, 20 MILES AWAY. RENTED A MOTEL ROOM, GOT DRUNK RENTED A MOTEL ROOM, GOT DRUNK WITH MY FRIENDS. WITH MY FRIENDS. THEN, OF COURSE, MY MOTHER, IN A THEN, OF COURSE, MY MOTHER, IN A SMALL TOWN, TRACKED ME DOWN. SMALL TOWN, TRACKED ME DOWN. JONI CALLED ME THAT NIGHT AT THE JONI CALLED ME THAT NIGHT AT THE MOTEL. MOTEL. WE HAD A MOMENT OF, YES, THIS WE HAD A MOMENT OF, YES, THIS HAPPENED. HAPPENED. I’M SORRY. I’M SORRY. I WAS MOSTLY SILENT. I WAS MOSTLY SILENT. WE DIDN’T TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN WE DIDN’T TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN FOR ANOTHER 15 YEARS. FOR ANOTHER 15 YEARS. >> REALLY? >> REALLY? >> YEAH. >> YEAH. >> WHY WAS THIS EVER A SECRET IN >> WHY WAS THIS EVER A SECRET IN THE FIRST PLACE? THE FIRST PLACE? WAS IT TO PROTECT JONI AT THE WAS IT TO PROTECT JONI AT THE TIME? TIME? I MEAN, YOU’D THINK AT SOME I MEAN, YOU’D THINK AT SOME POINT THEY’D WANT TO PROTECT POINT THEY’D WANT TO PROTECT YOU. YOU. >> PROTECT JONI. >> PROTECT JONI. PROTECT THE FAMILY NAME. PROTECT THE FAMILY NAME. PROTECT EVERYONE. PROTECT EVERYONE. PROTECT MY -- IT WAS REALLY PROTECT MY -- IT WAS REALLY ABOUT THE NAME OF THE FAMILY, ABOUT THE NAME OF THE FAMILY, AND IT WAS EMBARRASSING. AND IT WAS EMBARRASSING. THIS WAS A CATHOLIC FAMILY. THIS WAS A CATHOLIC FAMILY. TO HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER GO AWAY TO HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER GO AWAY SOMEWHERE AND THEN BECOME SOMEWHERE AND THEN BECOME PREGNANT AND COME BACK HOME WITH PREGNANT AND COME BACK HOME WITH A SHAME. A SHAME. >> WE SHOULD POINT OUT, YOU ARE >> WE SHOULD POINT OUT, YOU ARE A COLLEAGUE, AS WELL, NBC NEWS A COLLEAGUE, AS WELL, NBC NEWS EMPLOYEE. EMPLOYEE. >> I AM, YES. >> I AM, YES. >> HOW IS IT NOW? >> HOW IS IT NOW? I MEAN, LET ME BRING YOU IN I MEAN, LET ME BRING YOU IN HERE. HERE. IT IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE IT IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE ONCE YOU START TALKING TO ONCE YOU START TALKING TO PEOPLE, IT SEEMS LIKE MORE PEOPLE, IT SEEMS LIKE MORE PEOPLE THAN YOU MAY THINK HAVE PEOPLE THAN YOU MAY THINK HAVE HAD A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE OR KNOW HAD A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE OR KNOW SOMEONE. SOMEONE. >> OH, MY GOODNESS. >> OH, MY GOODNESS. I THINKS THEN SS SIT IS AN EPIDE I THINKS THEN SS SIT IS AN EPIDE SINCE MY BOOK CAME OUT, I’VE SINCE MY BOOK CAME OUT, I’VE BEEN TRAVELING AROUND THE BEEN TRAVELING AROUND THE COUNTRY. COUNTRY. MY EVENTS ARE PACKED WITH PEOPLE MY EVENTS ARE PACKED WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE DISCOVERING MASSIVE WHO ARE DISCOVERING MASSIVE FAMILY SECRETS. FAMILY SECRETS. I THINK IT IS A COMBINATION OF I THINK IT IS A COMBINATION OF THE ERA WE’RE IN, THE ME TOO THE ERA WE’RE IN, THE ME TOO MOVEMENT IN PART, DNA TESTING, MOVEMENT IN PART, DNA TESTING, AND THE INTERNET. AND THE INTERNET. DNA TESTING HAS BECOME THE MOST DNA TESTING HAS BECOME THE MOST POPULAR HOLIDAY GIFT IN AMERICA. POPULAR HOLIDAY GIFT IN AMERICA. THESE STORIES ARE POURING OUT. THESE STORIES ARE POURING OUT. THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE MAKING THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE MAKING THESE DISCOVERYIES EVERY WEEK. THESE DISCOVERYIES EVERY WEEK. GOING BACK TO WHAT STEVE WAS GOING BACK TO WHAT STEVE WAS SAYING, I THINK THAT IT IS SAYING, I THINK THAT IT IS BELIEVED, AND ESPECIALLY BACK IN BELIEVED, AND ESPECIALLY BACK IN THOSE DAYS, IT WAS BELIEVED THAT THOSE DAYS, IT WAS BELIEVED THAT THE CHILD WOULD NEVER KNOW. THE CHILD WOULD NEVER KNOW. WHAT WE DON’T KNOW ISN’T GOING WHAT WE DON’T KNOW ISN’T GOING TO HURT US. TO HURT US. LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE. LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE. WHAT’S NOT UNDERSTOOD ARE THE WHAT’S NOT UNDERSTOOD ARE THE DEEPER PSYCHOLOGICAL AND DEEPER PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL IMPLICATIONS OF HAVING EMOTIONAL IMPLICATIONS OF HAVING SOMETHING AS FUNDAMENTAL AS YOUR SOMETHING AS FUNDAMENTAL AS YOUR IDENTITY HIDDEN FROM YOU. IDENTITY HIDDEN FROM YOU. >> FOR SOMEONE WHO IS HOLDING A >> FOR SOMEONE WHO IS HOLDING A SECRET, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS NOT SECRET, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS NOT THEIR SECRET BUT THEY’RE HOLDING THEIR SECRET BUT THEY’RE HOLDING IT FOR SOMEONE ELSE, I MEAN, DO IT FOR SOMEONE ELSE, I MEAN, DO YOU RECOMMEND THEM JUST KIND OF YOU RECOMMEND THEM JUST KIND OF HAVING A SIT-DOWN AND TALKING IT HAVING A SIT-DOWN AND TALKING IT OUT? OUT? I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND JUST FROM SEEING THIS SO OFTEN? JUST FROM SEEING THIS SO OFTEN? >> I THINK THE SECRETS NEED TO >> I THINK THE SECRETS NEED TO BE HANDLED WITH GREAT CARE. BE HANDLED WITH GREAT CARE. I DON’T THINK THAT THEY SHOULD I DON’T THINK THAT THEY SHOULD EVER JUST BE BLURTED OUT, YOU EVER JUST BE BLURTED OUT, YOU KNOW, AS AN UNBURDENING. KNOW, AS AN UNBURDENING. I ALSO BELIEVE THAT, ULTIMATELY, I ALSO BELIEVE THAT, ULTIMATELY, JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING ISN’T JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING ISN’T SPOKEN DOESN’T MEAN IT DOESN’T SPOKEN DOESN’T MEAN IT DOESN’T EXIST. EXIST. IT IS LIKE ALMOST A TOXIC FUME IT IS LIKE ALMOST A TOXIC FUME THAT’S LEAKING INTO EVERYTHING. THAT’S LEAKING INTO EVERYTHING. ULTIMATELY, PEOPLE DO HAVE A ULTIMATELY, PEOPLE DO HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW AND FEEL LIBERATED RIGHT TO KNOW AND FEEL LIBERATED BY KNOWING THE TRUTH. BY KNOWING THE TRUTH. THE SECRET KEEPERS ARE CARRYING THE SECRET KEEPERS ARE CARRYING A BURDEN, BUT THE QUESTION IS A BURDEN, BUT THE QUESTION IS NOT SO MUCH WHETHER THEY SHOULD NOT SO MUCH WHETHER THEY SHOULD SHARE THE SECRET BUT WHEN THEY SHARE THE SECRET BUT WHEN THEY SHOULD. SHOULD. >> WHEN. >> WHEN. >> STEVE, HOW IS YOUR >> STEVE, HOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOM RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOM TODAY? TODAY? I KNOW YOUR GRANDPARENTS HAVE I KNOW YOUR GRANDPARENTS HAVE PASSED. PASSED. >> THEY HAVE PASSED. >> THEY HAVE PASSED. IT IS -- I WOULD SAY IT IS NOT IT IS -- I WOULD SAY IT IS NOT THE BEST, BUT IT IS HORRIBLE THE BEST, BUT IT IS HORRIBLE EITHER. EITHER. IN FACT, WE EXCHANGE VOICE YND V IN FACT, WE EXCHANGE VOICE YND V MAIL MESSAGES AROUND THIS TIME. MAIL MESSAGES AROUND THIS TIME. WE HAVEN’T TALKED DIRECTLY IN A WE HAVEN’T TALKED DIRECTLY IN A WHILE. WHILE. SHE SENDS BIRTHDAY CARDS TO MY SHE SENDS BIRTHDAY CARDS TO MY CHILDREN. CHILDREN. WE ARE BUILDING SOMETHING OVER WE ARE BUILDING SOMETHING OVER TIME. TIME. IT TAKES A LONG TIME TO GET TO IT TAKES A LONG TIME TO GET TO ANOTHER PLACE. ANOTHER PLACE. >> RIGHT. >> RIGHT. >> WE’VE JUST BEEN TRYING TO >> WE’VE JUST BEEN TRYING TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN, BUT MAYBE A MAKE THAT HAPPEN, BUT MAYBE A LITTLE TOO SLOWLY FOR HER. LITTLE TOO SLOWLY FOR HER. >> SHE WANTS TO BE INVOLVED AS A >> SHE WANTS TO BE INVOLVED AS A GRANDMOTHER. GRANDMOTHER. >> I THINK SO, YES. >> I THINK SO, YES. I WANT TO GET HER THERE. I WANT TO GET HER THERE. IT’S BEEN HARD FOR ME. IT’S BEEN HARD FOR ME. I FEEL LIKE WE ARE ULTIMATELY I FEEL LIKE WE ARE ULTIMATELY GOING TO BE IN A GOOD PLACE. GOING TO BE IN A GOOD PLACE. I’M SO HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO HELP I’M SO HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE STORIES OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE STORIES LIKE THIS. LIKE THIS. >> RIGHT. >> RIGHT. >> YOUR LIFE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE >> YOUR LIFE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE DESTROYED OVER SOMETHING LIKE DESTROYED OVER SOMETHING LIKE THIS. THIS. >> WE’RE GOING TO LEAVE IT AT >> WE’RE GOING TO LEAVE IT AT THAT. THAT. GOOD MESSAGE. GOOD MESSAGE. THANK YOU BOTH FOR BEING HERE THANK YOU BOTH FOR BEING HERE AND SHARING YOUR STORY. AND SHARING YOUR STORY. AGAIN, DANI’S POD CAST IS AGAIN, DANI’S POD CAST IS "FAMILY SECRETS," AVAILABLE ON "FAMILY SECRETS," AVAILABLE ON ANY PODCAST PLAS FORMTFORM. ANY PODCAST PLAS FORMTFORM. >> SHE ALSO WRITES ABOUT
