Make An Ex Regain Interest and Reach Out First

how to make an X regain interest and also how to make them reach out to you perhaps as they once did my name is coach Adrian I am joined by the one and only Coach Alex how are you good sir I'm doing good thank you so much very excited to tackle this very important question and what we realized was that a lot of you were asking us A variation of this question on our different social media handles as well as those of you that are interacting with our podcast we realize that many many people want to feel as if they are in that same Dynamic that they were once in with this person that they love but as you know after a breakup it is quite common to feel like you don't recognize your ex it is a completely different person they are not as warm they are not as engaged and so a lot of times people are thrown off and they don't know what to do and so in this episode we really wanted to take a deep dive and provide you with Clarity with context and also with actionable items steps that you can take to feel like your ex is chasing you again or at least that they're investing in the process of rebuilding a new relationship Coach Alex I know that you have quite a bit of experience with this question and perhaps a good place to start would be to try to understand why why does an X not reach out like they once did why are they not as invested so that we can start to think about then what we can do to turn things around yeah this is a very important question because when we can understand the situation we almost have the solution right it is easier to manage the emotions it is easier also to feel confident and to visualize what could be the next action before I answer the question coach Adrian I want to say something I have a very specific philosophy if you watch Love advice TV if you watch our videos if you come to our live Master Class you will understand that I love the balance of power and this idea of the push and pull which is for me very important when you want to regain some interest from your ex and I would explain to you that this is not doing games this is not losing yourself this is not something that would be childish it's actually the opposite now comes the why what's happening and why your ex is not reaching out to you there is two main reasons number one when we make the decision that we want to break up or that we don't want to come back it is easier for us because we are in control of the situation it is our decision so we seem to be stronger and you are facing this decision so of course you have a lot of emotions you don't know how to react and you're trying to do good so what will happen at this moment you will do things so you will act you will beg you will chase your ex and unfortunately this is not something that will lead you to a positive outcome reason number two and I really want you to judge this one when we make a decision and I think coach Edwin you have seen that as well in your practice when someone make the decision to break up or to not come back because sometimes I see people they ask for the breakup they want to make their ex realize something but their ex is still distant so if your ex is not coming back to you they will have this social decision they have to show everyone that they made the right decision so even if they want to reach out to you even if they love you even if they look at your social media they will try to basically not do the first step so that is why you would find that your ex is so different your ex is so you know arrogant sometimes so I'm cutting the conversation because they have their social decision that they need to make sure everyone is not seeing them as weak and we will use some techniques but before that I want to get you inside of why do the X will stay distant and not be in the same conversation communication that in the past coach area I think you you really hit the nail on the head what I see based on experience one of the most common reasons why an X is different and doesn't take that first step is because you're not giving them the time and space to do so so you're impatient you are afraid that you've lost them you're afraid that they may be seeing someone else or already in a new relationship you are you really miss them you're seeking their validation and so you reach out and sometimes you do so in a way that's not really thought out it's emotional it's impulsive it is coming from a place of fear and so in the worst case scenarios when it's begging and pleading and negotiating all that you're doing is annoying them really and they feel at that point that they have to be more cold more distant more negative to try to send you the message that they need space that it's over that they are not interested and unfortunately that leads to a vicious cycle where the more Negative they are the more you lean in the more you try to get their you know reassurance and before you know it you have exponentially made this process more difficult for yourself and they are even less likely to want to reach out to you this is this is what I see um Coach Alex also uh hits the nail on the head when he talks about the fact that in essence the person that is breaking up sometimes has been internalizing this decision for weeks sometimes months and some in some relationships even sometimes years and so the the breakup in essence for them marks A New Beginning something that they've been really thinking about for a long time and now they're ready to act on this newfound freedom and Independence and their in essence trying to explore what this new beginning is like for them without you so they're not their first instinct is not to communicate with you or not to be sending you positive signals because they want to explore what is on the other side of the fence whereas for the person that is being broken up with you're caught off guard the rug is swept from underneath your feet and all this processing that your ex perhaps has been doing for days weeks or months or even years you are only starting that process now and so it creates an imbalance and they have a lot more control over the power over the balance of power as a result of that and you may come off as you know broken and needy and desperate compared to someone who seems sure about what they want of course we know as coaches that you may feel like you're sure about something only to realize that things are not so clear or that you perhaps did not consider other elements of the relationship that are very important but in a nutshell it is important for you to create the right environment and the right dynamic to motivate them to reach out to you and to make them want to stay connected to you and oftentimes in our approach and in our philosophy we really encourage you to focus on the things that you can control in order to maximize that outcome in order to make sure that they are the ones to reach out and in the past few weeks every single coaching sessions that I've had with clients because you know that we spend most of our days in private sessions with clients I have constantly reminded them of one thing you will not convince your ex to take you back through words or by guilt-tripping them they need to feel like it is their decision to want to be with you and so what you should be focused on really is positioning yourself in a way where they can pursue you not you pursuing them or convincing them of something and unfortunately most of the people who are asking about how to make an extra regain interest how to make them Reach Out are not in this mindset of focusing on rebuilding yourself so that they want to be with you that is very important what you mentioned coach Adrian and I want you to listen again to this part either you're on YouTube you're on podcast platform you need to listen to what coach Edwin is telling you because our main focus at love advice TV with my ex again is really to help you get control and get clarity so the more you can change the more you can be positive the best it would be for you because your ex will look at you differently and something that I teach the people I coach and I never thought about it talk about it in any videos so I really want you to listen carefully we have to understand that if you want to regain attention if you want to regain love from your ex we need to be on the same kind of conversation communication what does it mean exactly your ex wants to move forward your ex as you mentioned wants to explore what is on the other side of the fence doesn't mean a new relationship it's just different habits different actions experiencing life you are focused on the past you want to fix the past when your ex is looking at two more so what we do in coaching practice is analyzing your ex personality analyzing your ex words analyzing your ex mindset philosophy of life and we need to do the same things we need to use the same words we need to show that we are moving in the same direction because that's when your ex will stop being angry that's when your ex will stop thinking about the future and that's when your ex will listen to you so it's called coherence communication that's what I teach people because when you talk the same way there is no more arguments there is no more negativity and I want to have your Insight on that but I feel that if we want to regain attention we need to be on the same page we need to have the same same energy in a sense it cannot be a fight like hey I told you look what we have done but we loved each other remember we went to the Jamaica together this is great but this will not lead to the breakup recovery most of the time 100 percent and this is connected to um this concept that I share in every coaching session as well is that we cannot stand in the way of what our ex perceives that they need if your ex feels that they need space you cannot try to convince them otherwise you cannot try to position yourself as someone who is not giving them that space who is not supporting their dreams their goals their aspirations you need to be coherent like Coach Alex talks about and you need to position yourself as someone who is supporting what they perceive they need and at times you may feel confused by that you may say okay but my ex is trying to move on I don't want to move on I want to be together I understand but if you are coming in the way of them experiencing or feeling like they need they need to explore those new found freedoms they're going to resent you they're going to be negative they're not going to want to hang out with you they're not going to want to communicate with you but if you show that you're supportive that you're also growing that you're also excited about the future then there's nothing to fight about there's nothing to argue about and your ex can start to see you as someone that they can be happy with someone that they can grow with someone that can Inspire them someone that they want to talk to to learn and to experience new exciting uplifting things and so this concept is very very very important and I find that unfortunately most people are not able to apply it in their day-to-days and you know why coach Adrian it's because you think that you will not be able to get your ex back you know I was coaching an amazing woman she met this guy they were together for a couple of years and it started to become a little bit distant right and he started to tell her that he's not in love anymore with her so she's tried to understand what to do and she told me all the time Alex what if it tells me that it's with someone else what if he tells me that he met another woman and that he's in love with her so she is about to see the negative outcome she is about to visualize the worst at the end of the coaching session I told her look let's try to look at the positive way what happens if after these 10 days or 12 2 weeks of distance you have a message from this guy because he was messaging her every week what if he comes to you he sends you a message and he sees that your reaction and your energy is not the same what could happen in this case she immediately understood that she will be in control so what's happening now guys you need to tell us in the comments what could be the best positive outcome by following Our advice what will make your ex trust you again how can make you ex just feel attractive attracted so it towards you because if you can visualize the negative look at the positive because we only need one positive actions to change the dynamic it's very difficult when we are in the breakup recovery process because we have to control the emotions we are facing the the wall we are facing no we are facing an ex that is distant that you can't recognize but we only need one good actions to change the dynamic but what if you can't visualize that you stay in your negativity and you don't have the right mindset as coach Edwin was mentioned this is exactly what I was going to say your mindset is the key element to this question and to your overall success in breakup recovery and if you are in a negative mindset if you're in a desperate mindset if you're in a fearful mindset it doesn't matter what we tell you it doesn't matter what you do you're going to keep pushing your ex away if you are in a positive mindset if you are able to understand the advice the philosophy if you start to believe in yourself again and to rebuild yourself because you've lost yourself during this relationship or during this breakup magical things will happen I was coaching this one man who was in a tough place when he first reached out to me it was a last gasp effort he just wanted to hear that it's over so he could let it go and to his surprise I told them definitely not there are still so many actions so much so many things that we need to do before you can know for sure that you've done everything that you could to make it work and we worked on his mindset and to his credit he was able to really completely turn his mindset around and after a few weeks we had a follow-up session and he was telling me access from my past people that I haven't spoken to for weeks are calling me left and right even my ex is starting to check my social media activity again engaging with my stories when I never thought this would happen and he now understands the direct link between his mindset the steps that he can take to rebuild himself and the impact that this will have on how his ex or others perceive a potential relationship with him because he's inspiring again so even if you are blocked even if you are not communicating with your ex even if there's no way for them to see your change I don't care you need to lay the foundation in order to have a chance in order for you to be able to ultimately seize the opportunity when it comes and that is what I want you to be thinking about not just how to get my ex to reach out by you know doing this small action or this manipulative trick so that you know they're angry and they reach out to me no let's lay the foundation for a healthy relationship one that is sustainable over time and let's Inspire your ex the right way so that you can be in a healthy happy relationship moving forward and you will find the results in this strategy in this methodology in this concept that we are sharing with you um I would love for you to go further if you want we have just in the description right below attach links to some private training that we are doing so it could be a live training it could be also some videos that we have done so it's very important for us to share our philosophy to you and to teach you how to regain control how to regain interest how to make your ex want you back but not for the past relationship for something new just to open a new page so remember that you have a lot of free resources in the description box below we also need your support So a like five stars with you on the favorite podcast platform uh if you can also subscribe to the YouTube channel we are just giving you more content about self-development breaking up and how to make your ex want you again this is our philosophy if you have any question make sure that you leave a comment the last thing I wanted to share to you guys when you want to regain interest from your ex you need to use everything that is possible like you need to use every tool I love the idea that you would change pictures change the way you dress I love the idea that you would go out on spot that you have never been to even if you had project with your ex and so you want to do them I fear that will be something where you can show that you're moving forward so don't don't put these options on the side try to do as much as you can but for yourself so you can feel proud because I see so many people in coaching session do you go to the gym no did you change your diet no did you change the way you you enjoy your weekends no so if you don't change your life your ex can't find the surprise and the surprise is the essence of my philosophy in the push and pull that's why I talk about it in the description box in the free videos but I want you to know that you need to use all of these tools what Coach Alex is saying is so key I know many of you watch videos and you feel like it's helping you understand what needs to happen and it gives you also a sense of comfort that's good but through understanding needs to lead to action if your understanding does not lead to new actions you haven't really understood and those changes are necessary to offer something new it's just that simple if you keep doing the same things you've been doing you're not going to have different results so this content our approach is meant to Spur actions and even if you're going to make mistakes it's okay but the point is to build new habits in order to offer something new and for you to have no regrets so it's time for you to act guys we are here in the comments ask us any question you can come on with myxagon.com coaching if you want to book a private session where we can talk to each other understanding your ex psychology your psychology and where we can tell you exactly okay this is the next steps you need to do right now and remember that you have a lot of resources just write Below in the description but we also want you part of the love advice TV community and you can follow us on every social media platform thank you coach Edwin my pleasure thank you so much I will see you soon we will see you soon guys for a new video we are eager to hear your ideas and what kind of title you want us to do for the podcast for the videos so just have to leave a comment just right here I see you soon bye guys keep fighting the good fight dear friends and thank you and let's do this again very soon yes

Channel: Love Advice TV

Views: 66,755

Keywords: what does it mean if i havent heard from my ex, why is my ex silent after breakup, what does it mean if my ex isnt contacting me, what does it mean if my ex is silent, reasons why your ex is silent, why is my ex silent, 3 reasons your ex is silent, why my ex isnt contacting me, what does it mean if my ex isn't contacting me, why isn't my ex contacting me, why isn't my ex reaching out, how to get your ex to reach out, get your ex to contact you

Id: ZdaRMwLyeOA

Length: 22min 21sec (1341 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 25 2023