LYSA TERKEURST Speaks on Near Death Experience and Book Uninvited

lissa Turkish is a New York Times bestselling author of the best yes unglued and made to crave and she's the president of the very successful proverbs 31 ministries and the author of this new book uninvited living loved when you feel less than left out and lonely in her new book she is vulnerable and candid about her own personal experiences of rejection and encourages the reader that even in the midst of loneliness rejection pain our importance doesn't lie in another's person's opinion of us but in living a life based on who God says we are welcome Lisa thank you it's a miracle that you're here you had a slight health scare exactly I did about this well typically I'm a very healthy person I love to exercise and eat well and so I hardly even go to the doctor for a cold or anything so this was very stunning and shocking to me but my husband and I had been out of town and returned home on a Sunday evening and then I woke up on Monday morning at 5:00 a.m. sat in bed and it was just an excruciating pain and stepped out of bed collapsed onto my floor and told my husband I think I'm dying you have to take me to the hospital right away so he rushed me to the hospital and I was there they were running tests for about five days Wow before the surgeon came in my room and said we finally figured out what's wrong with you and basically what happened and it's kind of a medical fluke like if someone has an aneurysm it's just like they can be perfectly helping one day and then really in dire straits the next day but mine was the right side of my colon detached from my abdominal wall flipped over wrapped around the left side and started filling up with fluid and gas in and in blood and just it distended to the size of about this big and you had no idea this was like why did I knew something terrible was happening to me and I knew I mean I would close my eyes and pray like Jesus please let me see the light because I was in so much pain but but then the surgeon said okay we know we finally figured out what's happened to you and when you need to be taken in to surgery we're going to have to remove about half of your colon and I said wolf we're going to be doing all that that sounds really major I need to go to like a big Hospital somewhere else and he said well that would be great if you have the time but if we don't take you into surgery your condition is extremely life-threatening because it can your your colon can rupture if it distance too big so they rushed me in the surgery cut me open and the surgeon was able to save my life and I'm thankful and you know I other than having a smaller intestine than most people I'm fine I can eat what I want to and I'm three weeks post-surgery now and just very happy very thankful to be here we are very excited that you're here I want to say first of all thank you for writing this book we're going to come chat for a bit about I'm invited what motivated you to talk about this because I think this is an issue that many women many men face they feel uninvited they maybe feel rejected in their lives why deal with this issue right well I write about what I struggle with so if you want to know what my issues are you can look at my books and those are all my values but I really think when I go to work on a message I always think first and foremost is this a topic that I need desperately and if I'm going to spend over a year researching and working and writing I really want it to be something that the Lord addresses within me and I just knew I was struggling with rejections of my past still very much affecting me in the present and I'll tell you one of the biggest reasons I wrote this book right now is because I think in our highly filtered social media saturated world we're very very aware of the great stuff that everybody else is doing and everybody else's marriage looks more romantic everybody else's kids look better dressed and more successful everybody else's home is more beautifully decorated right and their life just seems more exciting and so we can quickly hop on social media and do the comparison thing but even more magine than that is if your two best friends got together and went out to dinner last night you're going to see it on social media today and very quickly you can go from being this like strong happy capable girl to just sinking on the inside feeling uninvited and so I just wanted to tackle it you start off the book talking about your relationship with your dad and a very tumultuous relationship where you always wondered if he was going to leave until finally he did and that was almost that was the first kind of experience of rejection and you said you know all of a sudden you saw yourself as Lisa the unwanted one tell us about that and how that kind of led to other events as well well I think anytime we experience rejection especially when it's rejection in our childhood and we don't have little people don't have a way to process big people issues so my dad had issues that I just couldn't understand all I knew is that he abandoned me and abandoned our family so it really tapped into two core fears that feed our propensity for rejection when my dad left I felt abandoned that's the first core fear that will feed how much you feel rejected or hurt or lonely and the second besides being abandoned is losing one's identity and so those are two core fears that really feed how much will be revealed those feelings of rejection later on in life and his absence and then him just never coming back home really in my heart kind of dug this thought pattern you're not wanted and you're not accepted and I carried those thought patterns into every adult relationship that I had I've even carried them into my marriage and I'll have to say it's probably one of the hardest things not to revert back to that old pattern of thinking even if my husband all he has to do is look at me funny like he'll come home from work and just like just have a look that he didn't mean anything by it but all of a sudden I'll hear that old script you're not wanting and you're not acceptable and it comes all the way back from that time my dad left and never came home did you always know that that was kind of the route of rejection because I think of many people who you know we struggle with that but we don't know where the route is where it starts and so we look for acceptance in so many other ways but knowing the route can can be the key to changing our lives it really can and I think I put in the book rejection steals the best of who I am by reminding me the worst that's been said to me so it doesn't have to be some big epic moment like your dad leaving although certainly for those of us who have that father wound that is often a big part of the route of rejection but it could also be something very very like on an average ordinary day in middle school something very quick that that one classmate said to you and somehow that one thought just wove its way deep down in your heart and settled into such a permanent place that that rejection back in middle school can often still affect us today I mean I remember in middle school one time this guide told me that I have big legs and to this day I will not wear a dress unless I absolutely have to I will not wear a dress and you know I think it's it's something like that that can it was just a statement that was made in our past but somehow that lie becomes a line that we start to repeat to ourselves and that line then becomes a liability in every other interaction that we have and that liability is something that affects us in our thinking process but also in our perception of our relationship with other people you talk about you had alluded to it different relationships that you had we're again looking for just that acceptance and that led to having a relationship with a boyfriend that led to an abortion that's right honest about that well I think a lot of times when we're so desperate to keep something from walking away we can often make compromises that we wouldn't make otherwise and I was desperate to hang on to relationship and so it led me to make just little compromises that over time compounded into eventually me getting a positive pregnancy test and being completely freaked out by that and I panicked and I went to an abortion clinic and asked them to help me and they gave me a test and said well you really shouldn't consider yourself pregnant even though the test is positive it's just cells dividing and we can take care of this problem quick and easy and I bought that lie and had an abortion and I think that one event is probably the thing that brought me to my knees more than anything else everything else in my life up to that point were things that other people had done to me that broke my heart but this was a decision that I made on my own and it was devastating but the Lord was good even in that because a devastated heart often becomes the most desperate heart and for the first time in my life I became completely desperate for God that I wasn't even sure up into that point really existed and so I'm thankful and that's kind of the rallying cry in this is that you know through rejection of people remembering our worth in God remembering that we have to see our identity and who God says we are not what other people might say we're not that's right and I've heard identity talked about in so many Christian circles and I've heard it preached from the pulpit and we studied it in Bible studies but there's something different that I discovered as I was writing this book and doing the research the the the reality of I'm a child of God holy and dearly loved that is the core and the essence of my identity but I need an intimacy based identity I need to take that and make it personal and in order to do that I wrote in the book we need to wrestle well with three statements God is good god is good to me and God is good at being God and I'm telling you I have wrestled with those questions because a lot of times I want to take my circumstances and how other people are accepting me and treating me and that determines whether or not my life is good but I think if if I can make it intimate to me if I can make God's love for me it's I didn't earn this love and God's love is based on me it's simply placed on me and it's the place from which I really have to live and that is loved like I'm already loved by this really good God who sometimes does allow circumstances that aren't good but that doesn't change who he is or Who I am so God is good god is good to me and God is good at being God you talk about starting every day with God is good god is good to me God is good at being God and today is yet another page in our great love story yes that is that's the important part is that intimacy with God you have a funny story that I have to talk about in the book lady at the gym because you know what I love this you say I assign thoughts to others but they never actually think that's right we do that so often yes so I also tackle this topic of perceived rejection now a lot of what we've been talking about already is real rejection like in your face I'm rejecting you or you're rejecting me my dad rejected me all of that real rejection but then there's this other thing called perceived rejection so I was at the gym one day and there was this woman working out on the elliptical beside me and seriously she's gorgeous she has no fat on her body not even at her bellybutton which I didn't even know was possible and I get on the elliptical and I think to myself the only thing tight on me is my ponytail right now like I felt like a marshmallow beside this amazing model though but where the dude and so I just decided I don't know I just had one of those competitive moments where I thought for the sake of every other fluffy feeling girl I'm not going to let this lady out elliptical me good for you and so I set my papers and like if her foot moves like this my foot move like this and and it was a little awkward because we're right beside each other but I stayed in sync with her and then suddenly my phone rang and it was a friend who I knew really needed just a quick little bit of information you're not supposed to be on the phone in the gym and I'm typically a rule follower but I was like I can answer it real quick so I answered it real quick but I was going so fast on the elliptical I couldn't talk softly because I thought along was about to pop out of my chest honestly and so I talked to my friend well right as I hung up the phone for my friend the lady beside me got off the elliptical kind of breathes real heavy and huffed over to the treadmill and it was in that moment I decided she hates me she hates me forever so I would see her at the gym I would avoid her I would perceive all these looks that she was giving me and then one day she was walking out of the bathroom when I was walking in the bathroom at the gym and she smiled at me and it wasn't me I know and it wasn't like I'm about to whip your tail on the gym floor it wasn't that kind of smile it was like true like hey go girl you know and I walked into the bathroom and I just were standing there thinking I don't think any of those crazy thoughts I've been assigning to her this whole time that she must be having about me I don't think they really exist I think it was all perceived in my head it was some insecurities inside of me that wrote a script and I assigned that script to her and now I've been walking around thinking this poor lady hates me when in reality she probably hadn't even been thinking about me right but I do this not just with the lady at the gym I'll do this with loved ones too I'll like catch a little phrase that somebody says and it could be a dear friend and I'll suddenly write a script well you know she said that because of this and that because of this and suddenly I create some drama in my head that really never even needed to be there so I really tackle also in this book I'm invited that whole deal of perceived rejection assigning thoughts and phrases to other people that they never thought or said oh this is so good and her time is up Lisa I think I could just keep going we just started thank you again I'm going to keep saying this thank you so much for writing this book it's called uninvited living loved when you feel less than left out and lonely you are going to want to get your copy plus a highlighter so that you can highlight every single page like I have you can pre-order at our East store as well to get your copy

Channel: 100huntley

Views: 85,190

Rating: 4.9207458 out of 5

Keywords: 100huntleystreet, christian, Lysa Terkeurst, uninvited

Id: IEeCPUEHpDU

Length: 15min 33sec (933 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 11 2016