Любовь и голуби (FullHD, комедия, реж. Владимир Меньшов, 1984 г.)

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Mosfilm Second Creative Association LOVE AND PIGEONS Script: Vladimir Gurkin Director: Vladimir Menshov D.O.P.: Yuri Nevsky Production designer: Felix Yasyukevich Sound engineer: R. Margacheva Music: V. Levashov Lyrics: E. Uspensky State Symphony Cinematography Orchestra. Conductor: E. Khachaturyan Director: V. Kuchinsky Camera: A. Pischalnikov Cast: Vasya – Alexander Mikhailov Nadya – Nina Doroshina Raisa Zakharovna – Lyudmila Gurchenko Uncle Mitya – Sergei Yursky Auntie Shura – Natalia Tenyakova Lyuda – Yana Lisovskaya Lenny – Igor Lyakh Olga – Lada Sizonenko Beautiful. He’s come for you. He’s come. Look, he’s jealous. Lyudka! Lyudka! Lyudka! D’you take the money? Nadya’s looking for her money, but we know the Boogy Man’s got it. Shoo! Get away! Shoo! Dad, did you take the money from the cupboard? Mom’ll fix you up. She’s so angry! Vasya! Vasya! Say something, I know you’re there. What is it, Nadya? Go get some water, will ya. - There’s a full tub in the bath. - Where? - Lenny and I filled it yesterday. - I wanted to do some washing. Use this water up. Wait till I use you up, parasite! What’d you do to the 30 rubles I’d saved? Have you lost all shame? If you bought more pigeons,- I’ll kill you and your birds! - Careful! You’ll break the ladder! - I’ll break your ribs, that’s what! Pigeon fancier! Grudging the ladder! - I will have to fix it! - I’ll show you! Get outa there! Did you buy’em or not? Sucker! Olga, give it to your mother straight! Did your father buy more pigeons? - Well? - He did. There go your new dresses and ice-cream. Lyudka, say good-bye to your boots and lipstick. Now we’ll be starving. Don’t you think you’ve pinned too much hopes on 25 rubles? Oh, go away and kiss with your stupid pigeons! Go on robbing us blind! But mom, they’re so beautiful! You knew, - and not even a hint to your mother. Nadya, they’re crested. - How’s that? - They’ve got crests on the backs of their heads. - I can show you. - Don’t even think! Lyudka, what shall we do now? It was all the money we had. - Take some off your bankbook. - I’ll show you! As if you’ve deposited a lot. Not me, you did. I’d kill the parasite if I could. Lyudka, go get the bankbook. - Where is it? - Over there! Why don’t you fix the rangette. I’m fed up with heating the furnace every time. - You hear me? - I’ll fix it! Mom, he waited for those pigeons for a whole month! Olga, you think earning your bread is easy? What a waste – to spend it on pigeons! On the plus side, he doesn’t drink. That’s true, he doesn’t. All right, have to go to the store. What’re you standing here, dad’s supporter? When Lenny comes back from technical school, give him lunch. - He’s old enough to serve himself. - If you talk to your husband - this way - he’ll dump you. - Yours didn’t dump you. It’s cause I’m forgiving. - Eat something yourself. - I’m not hungry. Where’s the fuel can? In the shed under the tarpaulin. Where’re you going to? Cheremkhovo. With uncle Sasha. They’re selling gunpowder. Buy some for me too. - Greetings to you. - Hello, uncle Mitya. Good-bye, uncle Mitya. Vasily, Lyudka, greetings! - Have lunch with us, uncle Mitya. – Might as well. - Hello, auntie Shura! - Good-bye, auntie Shura! Uncle Mitya, hide it! Over there! She won’t find it there. Lyudka, going away on vacation? Alone? Where’s your man? She and Gena are going through a rough patch. - What’s the problem? - We don’t ask. It’s good that you came home. Chasing your vodka with soup already! I said, chasing it? - Sanya’s here! - ‘Sanya’s here’! I saw you back at the store. I called: Mitya! Mitya! And he pretended he didn’t hear! What was that? My hearing seems to have worsened. Say something. Like what? Hello, uncle Mitya. Can’t hear nothing. Have to buy myself a hearing device. I’m telling you I didn’t drink! Although I have a reason to. Bastille Day was wasted for nothing. 80 years anniversary. - My, it turned 80! - Auntue Shura, sit and eat with us. - Did they bring the mail yet? - I met Katya, she’s bringing it. - Auntie Shura, serve yourself, all right? – Don’t worry, off you go. Vasily, what is it you wash your hands with? Sucker! Sanka, I’ll never forgive you this… Not that easy! Our proud ‘Varyag’ never gives in to the enemy! I’m alone against 8 girls, Where they go – I also go. They go to the bath, I climb to the roof. I stamp my feet, and I say: Woof! - Today’s a holiday? - An off-day. Why’re you sour? Had a row with Nadyka? Yep. Hell knows what’s going on. It’s getting rough between me and my woman too. She’s there, I’m here. She goes there, and I come here. Let her run the marathon if that’s what she wants. - Boozing, eh? - Lenny! - Hey there, Sanya! - Greetings. - Have some beer. - Don’t fancy it. - What’s up? - Everything’s OK. Take the buckets. He should study in the nautical school, not the forest institute. It was his choice. You don’t know shit about the romance of sea life! - Lenny, don’t tell mother! - No problem. You can kill me, but I don’t understand you. I stand up to my witch, yet you always ask forgiveness. - What’s she want anyway? - It’s all because of my pigeons. - No, she’s not angry anymore. - You should give her a thrashing. They’ve gotten out of hand. Gimme some! You know how brave horsemen of the Caucasus deal with it? When they talk, a woman will not enter the room. That’s cause they are people who live up in the mountains. Seen my man? Of course! I knew where to look for’ya! I only had a couple’o mugs. Not to forget the taste. Let me carry the bags. Must be heavy. Sure, as if you had pity on me! - You seen Filippov? - No. Why? Sure, home’s the last place you’d want to spend your holiday! - He’s looking for you. - What for? His wrench broke, he wanted you to help him fix it. - Hell’s bells! I’ll be off then! - Go on. Vasily! Has my halfwit sailed into your bay by chance? - No? - Haven’t seen him. Suckers. Suckers. I’d say you are a queer couple! Isn’t it time you old people stopped quarreling? This is not the time to get nervous. I’m going with the Filippovs to pick potatoes tomorrow first thing. - Don’t know how I’ll go now. - He’ll come back, don’t worry. Nadya, give me your spade. Ours has gone blunt. Mitya could sharpen it, but Where is he now? Lyudka, Lyudka! Take the bags, will ya! Hello, Lyuda. Hello, auntie Shura. Can’t feast my eyes enough on her! Nadya, I said I can’t feast my eyes enough on her. She’s turned into such a beauty! Why don’t you ever drop by our place? We’d have some tea with cowberry. It’s fine cowberry this year. - There you go, auntie Shura! - Nadya! What? Where were you hanging around, batty devil? Terrible news I have brought to your house, Nadezhda. - Call the children. - What happened? Vasily went to fix the wedge. I went with him. On the way back he said he wanted to smoke. So he sat down and lit his cigarette. I sat down by his side. Old fool! Don’t keep us waiting! This woman drives me to frenzy! I don’t understand hairbags. Take her away, Nadezhda. Really, uncle Mitya, tell us! - He stood near the train carriage. - Who? - Vasily? - A wooden beam… slipped off the carriage and on to the ground. It hit Vasily on the head with one end. It hit him, Luydka. It’s the end! Vasya! That’s the end. Now he’s gonna stay that way. - What way? - Squint-eyed. He’s alive then? Don’t put a whammy on, idiot! Of course he’s alive. But the eyes are kinda… One eye looks here, the other one – there! And what did you think? I’ll show you what we thought! Stop! Stop! Not bad, not bad. Now you. - Me? - Yes, you. Announce the second figure. - Me - announce? - Yes, second figure. Announce it. Second figure – sad! Why’d you come here, old sod! Wait till I kick your ass with a broom! - Don’t. - ‘Don’t’! Sorry about that, Nadezhda. You scared me to death. I’ll tell Vasily everything soon as he comes back from the hospital. Nadya, you got any home brew? What if I have? It’s not for you. I feel lousy, Nadya. Want me to feel sorry for you? You haven’t drank enough? I’ll tell your wife how you wonder about other people’s homes cadging! She’s no more. My dearest Sanya is no more. It’s the end! And where’d she go? I told her right away: ‘Let’s call it’. She said: ‘No, it’ll pass’. Then I saw spots appearing all over. I no longer listened to her and I ran. Ran where? I ran to get an Ambulance. We drove her to hospital No10. The doctor came out and said: ‘Old man, she’s dead. Your granny is no more.’ Uncle Mitya, how could it be? How terrible! Said she’s dead. I can’t talk… I just saw her the day before yesterday. And yesterday? She was going to go pick potatoes. With the Filippovs. - She told me. - Then she felt worse. Said she couldn’t bend forward. Said her heart ached. Said: ‘You go yourself. Dig out some potatoes.’ Why didn’t you come to us right away? I’ve only just recovered myself. I was lying down. My feet wouldn’t hold me. As though they were made of cotton. My hands’re still shakin. Have a shot, uncle Mitya. Have a shot. - No! - You have to! Sanya didn’t like that. Now’s the one time you should. You poor old thing. What’d she die of? Did the doctors tell you? Infarction of… – Micard…? A scar this long. Autopsy showed it. - Have this to chase it down. - No need to. They’ll bring her here tomorrow. They normally keep’em there for 3 days, but the morgue’s full. - Will my good neighbors help? - Of course we will. Lyudka, auntie Shura passed away. No! Uncle Mitya drove her to the hospital last night, and she died there. - The heart. - Infarctus. Myocardial. She wasn’t even that old yet. How old was she? How old am I? It’s simple. She was 3 years younger than me. How old, Lyuda? Lenny! Auntie Shura passed away! - No kidding! - Yesterday. And what’s interesting, we loved each other. Know what she called me? No one knows. I’d call her Sanyushka, she’d call me Mityunushka. I’d say to her: Sanyushka, And she’d say to me: Mityunushka! And what a voice she had! How she sang! Oh! A moment of joy, The pain of parting, I’m ready to share With you my love. We’ll shake our hands Before departing On a life-long journey With you, my dove. You dug yourself out already? What’s with you? I was tellin’em of the nightmare I had. Hell knows what! Nadya, why’re you treating him to this poison? Nadya, what is this? What’s going on here? I’m asking you, what’s this all about? Soon as I left the house, - he found himself a place to drink! Run for your life, uncle Mitya! Auntie Shura, he was mourning you. What? Said they’ll bring you here from the morgue tomorrow. Bastard! Now you’re in real trouble! Our proud ‘Varyag’ doesn’t give in to the enemy! Unbelievable! Figure Three Parting Daughter, I’m going away to a health resort. There I’ll go to a bar, try a… – what’d they call it? – A cocktail. The newcomers are expecting nestlings soon. See that the cat doesn’t get them. And buy some wheat. - I know. Show me your magic trick. - What trick? Water a dove. It’s no trick, daughter. It’s learning. Give me the mug. He’s drinking! He’s not afraid of you! Back where we lived in Alyokhino village there was Volodya half-wit, he’d water 5 doves with one mouthful. - A half-wit? - That’s right. Everyone loved him. The whole village. People asked him to help - and he’d help everyone with the household chores. God didn’t bless him with intellect, but with the heart and strength. They killed the poor lad. - Who? - Jobbing workmen. They came from the city for odd jobs and settled in our village. They didn’t do that before, but this time they let them stay. They’d booze and brawl. Volodya was unfortunate to hit on one of those drunken bouts. And like a little child, he waged his finger at them warningly: This is not good, stop rioting. Well, one of the workers stabbed him with a knife. We had an abandoned church, where doves lived. Volodya would feed them. He’d bring a loaf of bread, and they’d flock around him, slapping him on the cheeks, on his face with their wings… And he’d burst out laughing. That looked so funny. The doves weren’t afraid of him. He was the only one they weren’t afraid of. I remember he had this red shirt, all pierced through with their sharp claws. They laid him in his grave in that shirt. When the casket was lowered into the grave, the flock of doves soared over it. When it was over and everyone left, they flew away. We never saw them again. Smart birds, hell’s bells! - Where’s the voucher? - What? God! I put it on the bottom of the suitcase. Razor? - Hello, uncle Mitya. - Vasily! Come on in. - No, it’s all right. - Come in! Vasya! Stack your money away here. I’d sewed on a secret pocket. What’re you staring at? Beat it! Sorry that I interfered with your money-hiding routine. Go on, tell the whole village about it! Blabbermouth! You got it? Put it in here and lock it with a pin. What if it unlocks? Right, you may prick yourself. Then maybe I’ll sew it up? - I’ll put it in the pocket. - In the pocket?! Tricksters’ll fish it out before you know it! Here, put it on and don’t argue. I’ll manage! - No! - What is it? What have you done?! I ironed it. Who’s gonna tie it now? That’s it, I’m not going anywhere! - Maybe Nikolai Trofimovich? - He doesn’t wear neckties. Wait, Vasya, don’t get disappointed. I’ll find someone. - I’ve the right to say good-bye to a friend. – Brought the poison? Customs! Vasily, have a soft landing. - Flying away? - Looks like it, uncle Mitya. I’ll get to see what the doves see from up there. What’s that place called? Transportation authorities resort, hell’s bells. It’ll smell, uncle Mitya. We’ll chew on bay leaf to get rid of the smell. You’re an instigator, uncle Mitya. Dad! Hello, uncle Mitya. - Bought you bread and canned foods. - Put it in there. Why’re you sitting around? The bus is here! - Having some tea for the road. - I know your tea. Lyudka, don’t tell mother. Vasily, lookout! Lookout! - What? - My poor widower is here too! - Well? - No one knows how to tie it. Unpack my suitcase! Come on, Vasya! What the hell do you need a tie for anyway?! Unbutton the top button – and you’ll do just fine. It’s a southern resort! Culture! Watch TV: every cultured man wears a necktie. Gimme that! Lyuda, you’re a beauty! I usually tie it in a different manner. Well, children, let’s say good-bye to your father. - Take care. - Take care. I’ll be back soon. Write us a line, will you. I’ll do that. Are we kissing good-bye or not? Oh, you and your fantasies! Watch out - out there in the south. Be sure to write, don’t forget. Bring me seashells and a palm tree. How would I carry a palm tree? - One little branch. - Oh, a branch! All right. Take care back here! Hell’s bells! Watch it, young man! You’ve splashed me all over! Sorry about that. - Oh, hello! - What do you want? You work where I work, in the personnel department. - Comrade Kuzkin? - That’s right, Kuzyakin. - Vladimir Valentinovich? - Right, Vasily Egorovich. See? I’ve a professional memory. So it’s you who got the second voucher. It’s a small world. No-no, you go out first. Yes Sir. How about it? You travel thousands of kilometers away from home - to meet someone from your organization bathing in the sea? Your case is also the Transportation Authority post-trauma resort voucher? Oh no! My extrasensory psychic recommended me the local climate. - Extra – what? - … sensory. She can foretell the future. Haven’t you heard anything about that? No, my sphere is the household. How strange. It’s everywhere in the papers. Is that the work they do? No, she works in a completely different field. - Talking about work, what’s with your target obligations? – Ours? We’re fulfilling them all right. Your logging enterprise has a very high standing with us. - Thank you. - I’ll read the editorial. Hell’s bells! - Hey there! - Hello. So we’re neighbors too. She took a shoe, an ordinary shoe, lifted it by the lace, and let go. And the shoe remained suspended in the air. Raisa Zakharovna, how is it possible? Telekinesis: moving objects with your mind. Today this phenomenon is widely researched by laboratories - not on official grounds, of course. But there was a time they didn’t recognize genetics, remember? But progress is imminent. - Do you agree with me? - You bet. These are the dwarf trees of the Japanese mandarin ‘Unshil’. I’ll get you acquainted with her. Only it has to be hush-huh. I’ll be silent as a grave. If they expose a psychic, they put him or her on register. He then works for the state and sees what is going on abroad. If anything happens – the government summons the psychic. The psychic sends a request into space: How are things? And via the astral spirit comes the answer. And only after that… - Oh, what a funny sound! Only after that the government takes a decision. It is destructive for the psychic - a strain for the nervous system. I should think! To think for the government every day. They found 16 humanoids on the scene of the crash. Short, about 1m 20 cm the average. Green, asexual. With wise sad eyes. You saw them, Raisa Zakharovna? Who, me? No one saw them. They lay there in the Sun for 1 minute and melted away. Turned into 16 little spots. But hush-hush, it’s a military secret. - Gotcha. - The Americans and us keep it a secret. But they’ve been communicating with them for a long time. - With whom? - Psychics, humanoids. It’s been established that people evolved from them. In school textbooks they lie to us about the monkeys. QUIET. REMEDY SLEEP I brought her a photo of a man, who had suddenly disappeared. She looked at the photo intently, then went up to a map. What then, Raisa Zakharovna? Raisa Zakharovna! What happened next? She came up to the map, pointed her finger at it and said: ‘This is the hot spot. He’s here’. Excuse me. Did they find him? Raisa Zakharovna! - Did they find the man? - Who? The man. Did they find him? This electric sleep – is stone age, compared to Oriental medicine. You know what they do? They stick a needle into you – and it does the job. And this thing doesn’t work on me. Same here. All I get is headache. Excuse me… I see. Some strange breed. How much are those? Lenny asked me to buy batteries for his transistor radio. Gotta buy Olga a present too. ‘I love you, I love you, Olga…’ Olga – that your wife? No, Olga is my younger daughter. My wife is Nadyukha. Nadyukha – what a charming name. Excuse me. What’s your husband’s name? Who? Oh no, I enjoy my freedom. - Marriage – is voluntary slavery. - Really? Who bought you this tie? Nadyukha did. I’d recommend you this one. It matches your suit and complements your eye color. He asks her: You can’t take it any longer? - She sais: I can’t. - That what she said? I’ll try to help you. So he takes her to his office, spreads her on the table. And with his bare hands, without using a scalpel or anything, he pulls her flesh apart - they have their own secrets, you know. ‘Does it hurt?’ – he asks her. ‘No, it feels very good’. He pulled all her intestines out and threw them into a bowel. He washed them, scrubbed them with a brush, and rinsed them. Hell’s bells! He cut! And threw everything that hurt into a bucket. Can’t our doctors do that? It is special Philippines medicine. Raisa Zakharovna, is that woman alive? Of course she is! She feels great. Only she doesn’t recognize anyone. For some reason she lost her memory. - It’s not the result, but the process that matters. – I understand. - I hope I haven’t bored you? - Not at all! I wouldn’t find out so many interesting things in my whole life! You know what question occupies me more and more? - What, Raisa Zakharovna? - What? How did it happen that you and I ended up here together, underneath this magical southern sky? How, Vasily? We had vouchers from the same organization. You’re not a romantic, Vasily Egorovich. We go for a swim, Vasily! - You dropped something. - We take our clothes off. How starry is the southern sky! VASYA, WATCH OUT! And the Moon is swaying… It sure is swaying. You think I’m very drunk, Vasily? No, you’re OK. We only had a few shots. Thank you, you are a very kind man. And everything has worked out fine for you. Children, a happy family. You live well? Everything happens. - You don’t look like a brawler. - Me – not at all. - Your wife? - Yes. It’s all because of petty matters. It’s mostly because of my pigeons. It is sad, very sad. You breed pigeons? How charming! - Pigeons! - Raisa Zakharovna, don’t cry. I’m not breeding them for sale. It’s just for the soul. Have I offended you? You know, as a child I was a tomboy, a daredevil. Played mostly with boys. My father wanted a son, but had a daughter. What’d they name her? - Who? - The girl? - Raisa Zakharovna. - I didn’t get that. My father wanted a son, but they had a daughter – me! My father… - You know what my father was? - No. A cavalry officer. We also used to chase pigeons. Sometimes… I could never whistle. You can. But what surprised me most was how these stupid birds could be gentle… Why is it, it’s so different with us, people? Why is it, it’s different with us? Why is it, Vasily? True. How true. She sais to me: What’d you spend the money on? So what’d you spend it on? I bought a few more pigeons the day before. So clever - that feathered tribe. You take a he-pigeon and you launch him into the sky, to join his flock. He seems so tiny up there, the size of a matchbox. And you hold the she-dove pressed to your chest. Then you stretch out your hand and draw his attention, - and he dives down like a stone, and he shows off in front of her. What do you make of it, eh? Must be the reproductive instinct. I think it’s love. - Love… Vasily… Egorovich... - Raisa Zakharovna… OH, VASYA, VASYA… ‘I feel well, I think. ‘Didn’t understand yet. ‘Picked shells for Olga – a full drawer of’em. ‘I’ll cut the palm branch before departure, or it’ll wither. ‘For Lenny ‘I’ve bought batteries for his transistor. ‘Everything you asked for ‘and ordered – I bought. ‘Dear Nadya! ‘Forgive my… What’s this, Lyudka? Look. This doesn’t look like his handwriting. ‘Dear Nadya! ‘Forgive my interfering. ‘But Vasily is a very shy and delicate person. ‘That’s why it is difficult for him to resolve to say this. ‘On the beaches of this beautiful Sea ‘Vasily and I have found each other. - What was that? - They have found each other. ‘It happened unexpectedly, it swept us off our feet. ‘We are still rather shaken and lost. ‘But God works in mysterious ways, ‘and who knows what trials He has in store for us yet. ‘One thing is for sure: from now on ‘we won’t be able to live without one another. Lyudka, I don’t understand. Who’s writing this? His roommate? - No. It’s a woman. - Oh, well what’d you know! ‘Don’t worry, I’ve nothing against him seeing his children. ‘I hope that you as a cultured woman will not damn us ‘for that ray of happiness on the gloomy horizon of life. ‘- We ask your forgiveness. - Gimme that! ‘Yours truly… - Risa… - Raisa. R-a-i-s-a Zakharovna. PS… PS… Oh! ‘Thank you for Vasya. What’s this, Lyudka? - PS… PS… What? - Post Scriptum. Afterword. - Thank you for Vasya. - Thank who? She’s thanking you for Vasya! Wait, it’s him writing again. ‘Nadya, we’re taking a flight back home on the 4th. - What date is it today? - The 11th. So they must be back already. ‘I wouldn’t have the courage to say it. Writing it is easier. ‘Raisa Zakharovna is a good woman. ‘She even helped me to choose presents. Good-bye. Vasily. Oh, woe is me! Woe is me! What now, Lyokha? He lost all shame, pig! Tomcat! Your father is an easy rider! It’s no use crying! I don’t know what to do! Oh, woe is me! - Lenny, d’you feed the pigs? - I did. I’ll go chop his stupid pigeons’ heads off! Lyudka, where’s the axe? - I’ll do that! Damned bastard! - The pigeons are not to blame. Who gave him the right to hurt your mother’s feelings? I raised you. You think it was easy? If I see him again – I’ll kill him! - But the pigeons have nothing to do with it. – Kill him? You fool. Lenny! Don’t even think! To shake him a little will be enough. - Sit down! Whe’re you going? - To the toilet! - I’ll go with you. - Have you gone crazy? - I’ll stand on guard. - I’m going to the toilet! Oh sure as hell you are! If you do something, - they’ll put you in jail. And I’ll have to suffer all my life. - Lenny! - I have to! Have patience, son. Maybe he’ll come back yet! Have you gone out of your mind, everyone? - Hello. - Hello. - You must be Nadya? - That’s me. - I’ve come to see you. - Where’re you from? I’m from the head office. - Hello. Come in. - Thank you. A samovar! How sweet. We’re grieving, you see… - Mother, stop it! - I’m sorry. Thank you, Lenny. - I’ll make us some tea. - Oh, no, no. What’s your job with the head office? I work in Personnel. Why don’t you keep watch over your employees? They run around, and you don’t seem to care. Can’t say we have labor turnover. We’ll we do! We have a terrible turnover. You have to give him a good rollicking. Scrape the chipping off him. Mother, maybe the woman came here for a different matter. Oh no, I came precisely for this matter. As if they have nothing else to do. Come on. You have to excuse us. Leonid, come back here! - Wher’re you going? - I’ll go feed the pigs. Don’t even think! Said he’s gonna kill him. - Who? - His father. He’s normally quiet. But once he takes something into his head - he really scares me. I don’t think this is a good solution. How can one even consider that?! He’s his father after all! The bastard found himself another woman, and doesn’t care the least. People told me what goes on in those health resorts. How do those whores worm their way into those places? Why’d you issue them vouchers? Nadya! - We are both women. - Right. And I want us to find an understanding. - It’s not that frightful. - Of course it is frightful. Please calm down and take it easy. Do you love him? Wha? Do you love this man? You call him a man? If he were a man, he wouldn’t do such a thing. The bitch got the better of him, and he let himself be fooled. What makes you so sure she is to blame, and not him? How can you say that? Would a kind woman do something like that? You’ll see, it’ll boomerang on her. God sees everything. She’ll repent, the serpent. That’ll teach her how to steal other women’s husbands! You say it as though she had scores of them. You think he’s the first, eh? - She’s not 16! - No she’s not! And he’s not the first one. What if it’s love, Nadya? - What love? - Love! That’s what you had to think about in the first place. I don’t know. We lived so many years together. Didn’t fight. We lived happily. - What about the habit? - Habit? Yes, habit. That’s why I asked you: Do you love this man? I don’t know. You say all kinds of words… Love? All I know is I can’t breathe, can’t seem to get enough air. And my chest is burning, as if I had a gulp of heat from the burning oven. Nadyusha, don’t bear a grudge against Vasily. If you love him, you won’t cause him more pain. I understand, this is something that’s very hard to take. But we are human beings, and we have reason. What is it? Why are you looking at me like this? It’s you?! It’s me. Nadezhda… What’s your patronymic? Oh my God! Lyudka! - Lyudka! - What? Get a load of this! - It’s her. - Hello, Lyuda. You want a row? I thought you were a wise grown-up woman. You dyed bitch! Why dyed? It’s my natural color. I see our conversation has come to an end. Vasily and I will discuss the situation and inform you of the resolution in written form. Good-bye, Lyuda. Good-bye, Nadya. I’ll find my way out. I’ll show you the way out all right! Girls, bring your mother to heel! Keep calm, keep calm. Pest! ‘Lyudka! Say, Lyudka!’ Stinking village folk! What was that?! I turn my soul inside out in front of her. And it’s… her…?! If I find out that one of you is seeing him, - I’ll curse you! Good day. - Good day. - Hello… to you. Hello, boy. Are you going to have lunch? The cheese is grated… Beat-root… I see everything! Raisa Zakharovna, I wanted to add just a little salt. It doesn’t taste good this way. By no means! Salt – is white poison. I thought sugar was. Sugar – is sweet poison. Raisa Zakharivna, what about some bread? Bread – is venom. I’d give anything to get poisoned with an end piece. - I’d gobble a hardy meal. - It’s ‘eat’ – not ‘gobble’. - Wha? - It’s ‘what’, not ‘wha’. Raisa Zakharovna, stop eating your heart out. Raia, please don’t. I’m sorry, darling. Today someone hurt me very bad. Here, eat. ‘Elegy’. J. Massenet? Come to me, dear. Sit. Give me your hand. Let’s just sit like this quietly. Why are people so cruel? - Who? - Why is it? Why? - People are different. - My God, what wrong have I done her? Raia, eat something. You must be hungry, dear. - Let’s eat. - Let’s. Go to your place. We’ll have lunch now. No, no, no. The barrier is insurmountable. Our love will not be understood. Moreover, they nearly killed me. These people stood there and watched. My God, Vasily, they are your children! What utter disregard! You’ve been to Nadya’s? I have. And I ended up facing a wall - of blindness, egoism - and animosity. - Why’d you go there? I wanted to make contact. You are a very bashful person. I thought… But looks like you’ll have to sort it out yourself. Be careful, darling. You’ll ruin Massenet and the needle. So I’m leaving. - Wait, we have to decide yet. - No, no, There’s nothing to decide. I’m leaving. - Where to? - Anywhere. I’ve packed my suitcase. You mean, for good? What about me? What do you need me for, Raia? I can’t wash my own socks and shirts. But you’ve learned, haven’t you. - I curse. - I like it. It adds spice. I’ve gotten used to it. Just listen. Hell’s bells! No, don’t! I can’t do anything about it. - I can’t resist being drawn there. - Where? To Nadya and the children. You going back to that Gorgon? No, to my wife. - What about me? - Raisa Zakharovna, I can’t. I won’t let you go, Vasily. I won’t let you go, Vasily! Now this is all I need! Hell’s bells! I wanted to do it the good way. - God… - Vasily, You are my joy, you are my destiny, you are my love! If you want, I’ll learn to bake pies. I love them myself, Vasily! I can wash all the laundry. Tell me what you want me to be. I will be that, Vasily! Raia, this reminds me of a movie. You don’t believe me? Let me go, Raisa Zakharovna. Don’t kill me, Vasily. I know, you and I belong to different social classes. - We were bound by destiny. - What destiny? We had too much to drink, that’s all. Had too much to drink?! My God, what a fool I am! Take it easy, please. - And I read him books… - What do you need me for? You jumped at me out of loneliness. - Me? - You. Who else? I bet living alone isn’t easy. Leave us! Ata girl! That’s the way! - Out! - I deserved it! Leave us! - For a moment there I got tempted by a better living. - Get out! - Leave! - That’s right! Well, what do the cards show? Vasily will come back. Sure thing. The cards show a journey for Nadya, not him. And where would Nadya go? - I see spite. - What’s there to be happy about? Oh, go away, you! Mom, you have to get up. She’s right, Nadya. You have to move. There are things to be done around the house. Household chores will distract you. No, I’ll lay for a while more. It’s been 2 days already. You have to get up, mother. You’ll go away to the city, Lenny will be drafted into the army… When I die, take care of Olga, take her to live with you. I can’t believe you’re saying this. Oh, that’s townsfolk for you! Sanya, what has the city got to do with it? What was his biggest dream? God! To go to a bar… Where would I get a bar for him here? He’ll get his feel of luxury life and he’ll come home. Come on, get up, Nadya! Or, God forbid, this may really kill you. There, put your feet down. - Don’t act childish. - There you go. We’re sitting. Son-of-a-bitch. Oh, the son-of-a-bitch. Olga was always standing up for her father. Now you know what he’s like! Don’t scold her. To kill him wouldn’t be enough. I wish he’d died. Have you gone nuts? Always sneaking away and whispering secretly with your father. Now he’s gonna have brothers and sisters for ya to play with. Sure, your mother is bad. And your father is a hero. Found himself another mother. So why don’t you go to her! Go to her! She must be kind. - Never gets angry. - Stop it! - Crazy! - Yell at your mother! Yell at her! They haven’t hurt her enough! How can I not yell? Look at what you’ve done with yourself! What I’ve done?! Of course, your mother is bad! Who told you, you were bad? No one! I think so myself. You all think your father left because of me… You think I don’t see that? - You’re completely out of your mind. - Don’t talk like that to your mother. Yes, your mother is a fool, your mother is bad! Only when the city turned rough on you, where did you come running? If only I’d known you would reproach me for that. You came running to your mother, remember? You forgot the words you said and the tears you cried in my lap? And now your mother is a fool, your mother is bad. Vasya dumped me. Now you go ahead and dump me too! Run away all of you! Nadya, stop it. Lyuda, what are you doing? Nadya, what’s she doing? Let her trundle away! Lyudka! You two get back to your senses! Well, thank you very much, mother! I’m idling away here, not working. Who’d like that? Vacation’s over. Stop it, both of you! I prayed for them, auntie Shura! I though this was my house, my home! I came back to find sympathy for my unfortunate life. And all she knows is that ‘the city has turned rough on me’. She said that in a fit of temper. I’ve had enough! I’m not made of stone either! How shall I live, auntie Shura? I am lost. I ran away from my husband, - to find that my own father left home. Lyuda, don’t leave! Lyudka, forgive me. Forgive your fool of a mother. Looks like we’re in for a flood. To think how much of my blood you sucked? I can count my happy days by the fingers! Who sneaked to Darya Usvyatskaya across her vegetable garden? I told you I went there to pick some cucumbers. I bet those cucumbers gave you the runs! You mean to say you didn’t make goo-goo eyes at Manka Zykova? Yes you did! You men are all the same, uncle Mitya. I can see it’s a riot against me! And your drinking, uncle Mitya! I don’t know where to stash it away any more! You too?! You better keep quiet, uncle Mitya! - Dad! - My God. Vasily… Look what the wind blew in! Did you forget anything? Or maybe you want to say something? He doesn’t even look me in the eye! Must’ve gotten a bad mark at school. How’s life? How’s our young wife doing? I tousled her mop all right. That make you disappointed? Why don’t you answer, Vasya? Well, stay quiet if that’s what you want. Vasily, Vasily… You’re a good man. How could you do such a thing? Uncle Mitya, do you have matches? Gimme a light. Have you come on a short visit, or to stay? Depends on how they receive me. You lover-girl doesn’t give you money on a box of matches? She lives in style! Don’t pick on me. I came to talk reason. Who’s picking you? I’m picking you? You know what I did to your pigeons? I chopped their heads off, all of ‘em! You know that? No! Lenny, don’t let him go there! Let me through! Well, I’ll do it all right. And you won’t do nothing to me! You wouldn’t let me through, Lenny? - I don’t know you! - That’s not a way to talk to your dad! What’re you doing, Lenny?! I’m your father! Look at him! - Take your pants off! - Like hell I will. Take’em off! Have I thrashed you once? Why’d you hurt mother?! Why’d you come here?! Why’d you hurt mother! - You didn’t see her suffer! - I’ll answer for what I’d done! What’s gotten into you, Lenny? To go against your father! Well, go ahead, chop my head off. Go on! Chop it off! - Kill your dad! - Daddy! Honey, you’re gonna suffocate me. Chop it off, son! I’ll never forgive you this. What have you done to mom?! I’ll never forgive you! Never! Son! Son! Go away! What have you done to mother?! Have I ever touched you once? Go away! Nadya, don’t cry. What are you doing to me! I’ll never forgive him! Calm down. Stop it. You’d better leave now. Go. I understand… Nadya, forgive me. Don’t come near me! Auntie Shura, uncle Mitya, I’ve come with an open heart… You did me wrong, now you’ve come here to cry! What’s he doing – threatening me with an axe! Leave it! Nadya, I’ve some money left. Maybe you… - Choke on it! - All right, got you. What’s interesting, Lenny didn’t approve of what you did. That’s good, but he shouldn’t have come at me with the axe… When Lenny grabbed the axe I thought I’d have a heart attack. - Where is..? - Who? - The axe. - Lyudka threw it into the garden. - I’ll go hide it. - Auntie Shura, run to him, to Vasily. - What for? - Tell him, I’ll be waiting for him at the old sunken ferryboat. How do you mean? Did you see what he looked like? At first he was pale as chalk, then he went in red spots all over. Must be going through an agony. He sure punished himself. Don’t cry. I’ll be off. Take this into the house. I caught up with him. He stood in front of me, his lips trembling. I told him, and he started to nod his head, He nodded and nodded. And not a word. He’ll be waiting for you the day after tomorrow. I’m not going. How come? No way! The lover-boy thought he could get away with it, eh? That was stupid of me: at first I felt sorry for him. But not now! He’ll find himself another, now that he has experience. Nadya! Are you going to fight all the time? He’s a good man. Doesn’t drink, doesn’t shun work. Will you find another man like him? Never! What the hell do I need them for anyway? When my Mitya starts touching me up, - I give in. I feel sorry for him. Why should you suffer. You’re so young yet! I’m not going. Well, sit here if you like. Only then, as of today you and I are enemies. You have no pity for your children, nor for him, nor for yourself. When I die, I’ll invite Vasya to the wake. And you – I won’t. I’m not going! Well, Vasya, I’ve come. So you have. Do you have anything to say to me? - How’s Lenny? - He’s fine. - Sais he’s gonna kill you. - Kill me? That’s fine. Let’s sit down, Nadyukha. Why not. Sit down, Nadyukha. Wait, I’ve a newspaper with me. There you go. Sit. It’s getting cold. - You could get us some Vodka. - I did. - You came well armed, eh? - If you don’t want to… Oh, all right, let’s pour us some. It wasn’t meant for looking at it. Wait! I brought something to chase it down with. Have a bite! - Don’t drink much. - No, just a little. - Hell’s bells! - What is it? It feels so bad without you, Nadyukha. I’ve acted like a fool. You don’t want the pigeons – the hell with them. I’ll get rid of them. Hell’s bells! I rush about like a bear, - can’t think of anything else. - Well? - This life is … - Don’t swear! - Know why I got myself the pigeons? - It’s cause yellow liquid - rushed to your head, that’s why. - What’re you saying? I ain’t sayin nothing. Shame on you! All men are like normal men, but my man climbs up roofs with kids chasing pigeons. I’m ashamed to look people in the eye. You’d like it better if I played cards? I said nothing about cards, did I? Those nutcases play ‘66’ every evening after work. You hop from roof to roof. So what’s the difference? One virus’s no better than the other. What do you know about it? You think you do? Sure, I can see your brain pouring out of your ears just now! Go back to your holiday-maker and lecture her! What has she got to do… ‘She’… So you say you got treatment for different body parts? I’d chop off certain body parts, that’s what! So that you wouldn’t fool around. You did a foolish thing, and now you’re killing yourself. I can see. I walk back home from the market, my soul shattered. I come up to the gate and think to myself: You’re not there. What am I gonna do there? Nadya, I didn’t think before… I would die, Nadya… I would die for you and the children, Nadya. Not for myself, for you. They may cut me to pieces - but I have to know that you’ll live. I hurt you. I’ll make it up to you. I’d give my life for you. Forgive me, Nadya. Forgive me. - Nadyenka! - Vasyenka! - Nadyenka! - Vasyenka! - Nadya! - Vasya, what’re you doing? Vasya, not now! Not here! Someone may see us! I woke up early and cooked us breakfast. The kids were asleep. Eating in a diner is not a good idea. I nearly bumped into Lenny. - Think he didn’t see me. - God! I met auntie Shura. Yesterday. She was walking along the street and smiling. I say: Auntie Shura, why’re you smiling? She sais: You are happy, and I am happy. Maybe she found out you and I are seeing each other? - How? - Maybe someone told her? No one knows. It must be your face. My face? I try to keep a sullen expression when in public. You can’t hide your eyes though. They’re shining with a blinding light. Eat! You finish chewing first! - I’ve finished. - As though this was our honeymoon. Where do you get the strength? Stop it, you wild man. - You won’t get away now. - I’ll scream. It’s time we stopped hiding! Go away, wild man! - I don’t care that she was. - Who? The home-wrecker, your Raisa. - Don’t start that again. - We lived, we worked… We worked, we lived… And trouble was waiting outside our gate like a stray dog. Only maybe it wasn’t trouble, if it showed me everything. - Showed you what? - Showed me that I love you, that you love me, that we have wonderful children. That’s true, we have wonderful children. That’s true, Vasya. Could I have thought before, that one day you would disappear just like that? Now I think about a lot of things. About war, about the damned capitalists. Why is it they want to attack us? What strange ideas. - The war too… - What? The war is a marriage-wrecker too. You think twice if you wanna have kids: you don’t know what life will have in store for them, what destinies they will live. Well, for us it’s a thing of the past now. That’s what you think. No! Yes. At first I didn’t know what to think. Then I got scared. Now I don’t know what to do. That sure is… My God! You sure did it! You did it, not me. We both did it, Nadyukha. You, you!... You sure did it, Nadyukha! My little dove! - Oh, come on! - Look what it does to you! What love does to you! Let m kiss you, Nadyukha! Oh, get away! Get away! Vasya, I don’t know! What will people say? They’ll think the old fool has gone crazy. You’re as young as one can be! Let the youngsters try the same! Like hell they can do it! Vasya, it’s 2 months. - How’s that possible? - What’d you mean, how? It’s been 2 months that we’ve been hiding here. That’s it! That’s enough! No more playing partisans. We have to get out of the underground? The people will make laughing stocks out of us! No they won’t! I’ve a pregnant wife. What’ll I do with you if you catch cold? Nadya, let’s go home! You’ll get cold. It’s getting warmer. - Does the smoke bother you? - Blow it out the other way. Can’t wait? Go ahead, go coo with them. Nadya, you’re super. - I’ll finish the but… - Go on! - What’d you know! - He remembers. Amazing! Would he drink from my mouth? We can try. Get a mouthful. Don’t laugh. - Why’re you laughing? - Cause you said not to. Get another mouthful. Get your head closer and make a moo sound. Push the water up with your tongue. What is it, Nadyukha? To think of it. A bird! But it’s not afraid at all! Mom! Mom, where are you? That Lenny? So early? What do we do now? Nadyukha, don’t worry. I’ll sneak out through the garden. Without your pants on? - Hell’s bells! - I told you to get dressed! But you said it was warm outside. Well, it is. - Sit here. - Sitting. - Lenny! - Mom! - I’m here. You’re back? - Yes. Go get some water, will you. - There’s a full tub in the bathhouse. - Really? - I filled it yesterday. - I wanted to do some washing. - Use this one up. - Lenny… - Mom! - What? Go get dad. - Quit hiding. - What? Who’s hiding? - If I only saw the bastard… - I saw you two. - Where? - On the river. - Kissing like some little kids. - Your fantasy! I’m being drafted. When? Have to be there tomorrow at 7.00. Hell’s bells! What about the medical commission? - I passed it. - And you said nothing/! When? You were busy untangling your love relations. - What troops, son? - Border Troops. It’s quiet there now. - You tell her. - What should I tell her, son? - Tell her not to cry. - Nadyukha, don’t cry! Go set the table. And fast. She has to get over it. We have to call Mitya and auntie Shura. - Right, I’ll do that! - Dad! - Put your pants on! - Hell’s bells! Forgot all about it. I was thinking of heating the bath. Any of your guys going with you? - Sasha Buldakov, Vitya Rozin, Vovka… - Filimonov? - In one draft. - Good. You won’t be alone. You can rely on one another’s help. Son, go to the grocery. Here’s the money, buy us something to put on the table. Don’t forget the bread. The birch switch is hanging on the wall behind the bath. And you were afraid. Have to know our son! We raised a swell lad! Time! Now look at me! And look at yourself. The buttons! Not a good soldier! You’re out! In the army they’ll give you 45 sec. Defenders! - Lenny, what’s with you? - Don’t get in the way, Lyudka! - It’s the young soldier’s drill. - Go mind your own business. That’s it! You have no ass. Watch the head! You have to fall flat! When I served in the army, our sergeant would tie a rope. You touch it with your ass, - you get extra duty. In my time they would tie a barbed wire. The Germans… With mines were attached to it. You talk about extra duty. What’re you sitting? Old people are dancing, and you’re sitting there! Dad, let’s set the pigeons free! Let’s go, son. Son, make sure no intruder violates our borders. Quit panicking, Vasily. No one’s gonna attack us. - They did before. - They did. But we showed them hell, didn’t we! So your brother goes to serve in the army. - Not to worry. We’ll make you another one. – Dad! - Olga, don’t listen to him! - Come on, everyone knows. Sanya, why don’t we go ahead and chip us a snow maiden too? Oh, shut up, chipper. Get down, crazy! You’ll get yourselves killed! I don’t see them. Where are they, Olga? Right above your head. Look straight up. Show her to him, or he won’t see her. No, let then rise a bit higher. He lost us. You waited too long. My neck is sore. That’s enough, Vasya. Let’s go down a shot or two. He knows she’s here. He won’t fly away without her. There he comes! Flying down! Look at him! He’s coming for her! - That’s life for ya. - Falling down like a stone. My God… That’s all… That’s all. Translation – Elena Baskakova
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Channel: Киноконцерн "Мосфильм"
Views: 46,190,685
Rating: 4.5241475 out of 5
Keywords: Любовь и голуби, кино комедия, мосфильм, старые комедии, советские фильмы, советские комедии, Михайлов, Гурченко, Юрский, Лисовская, Лях, Меньшов, владимир меньшов, кино ссср, владимир гуркин, сергей юрский, яна лисовская, александр михайлов, людмила гурченко, советское кино, комедия, русские комедии, ссср, наше кино, komedii, Людмила Гурченко, в хорошем качестве, лучшие комедии, юмор, актер, СССР, фильмы ссср, russkie komedii, комедийные фильмы, комедии про любовь, комедии до слез
Id: 0KmS5gk4ve4
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 104min 44sec (6284 seconds)
Published: Thu Jul 14 2011
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