Louise Penny on her unexpected road to success

I was so great to see you wonderful und before we start I have to sort of let people in on something that we we go way back we were really close friends in high school and we met it when we were trying to figure it out I think we were 14 or 15 yeah and then unfortunately even though we had similar careers at working at CBC we've kind of drifted apart and got back you got back in touch with me when when you had your breast cancer yeah and you had just really started writing and we're about to get published anyway so I just want to let people know cuz normally don't interview my friends but you're kind of world famous authors so I have excuse it's pretty amazing you've sold millions of books 23 languages can you believe it yeah I can can you no I mean there's so much that is completely unexpected and it's hard I think for me to take it all in because it's it's just so overwhelming it is it's the dream come true and how often to dreams come true and now that it is it's I'm trying to appreciate it I'm trying not to say oh no no it doesn't matter or diminish it somehow I'm trying to really appreciate it and be filled with the gratitude and awareness cos it can go away any time who knows the next book might be a bomb but you keep churning them out you've just you've just completed the 12th and what 11 11 years 12 in 12 years machine Here I am I'm a murdering machine mass murderer do you like writing about killing people off is that pleasurable I don't want to see don't know why I write about murder what I do know is that the books aren't actually about murder there there is a murder in them that is the launching off point they really are about life they're about choices there about love they're about the duality in our lives and that's the books are about terror but they're about goodness too and that that was true in my own life that I lived in terror for much of my life oh you terrorized by no I was born afraid I was chiefly afraid of other people yeah you went you went through a pretty rough period and you know bunnies and and thirty's you you talked about being so lonely I've almost dying of loneliness what happened I think it was all part of them being afraid of other people so I created I'd felt for most of my life that I was on an island looking at the mainland and and for a while that worked because I was safe on the island but it that chasm again between the island and the mainland and all I wanted was to join the mainland and I didn't know how and I started drinking and it worked actually okay now suddenly I'm bright and I'm smart and I can go out to social events and I'm glib and people like me and then it it there's a question that some people asked and that's when does the cucumber become a pickle I don't know when I crossed that line but in big cross eventually where I was drinking alcoholic lis and I was no longer drinking in order to go out to social events I was becoming more and more isolated I didn't want anyone around me all I wanted to do was do my job go to the liquor store get my box of wine and and go home and drink until I passed out I just I wanted I wanted the pain to stop but the pain was loneliness it was it brought me to my knees that which is again it doesn't make sense how would you cure loneliness by isolating but that was my answer but you around thirty five you you broke the habit somehow I really hit bottom I I know some people's bottoms are when they have a terrible accident or their family threatens to leave them or something mine was very prosaic I was just standing in my my bedroom and I was I couldn't go forward because there was no no reason to go forward nothing to go forward to I'd gone to the stage I couldn't look at myself as a child pictures because I had so betrayed I mean you know my upbringing I was raised with with great privilege I was raised with every advantage here I was an alcoholic I was losing everything I was I was months away from losing my job I think I was losing but the veneer was there I placed such a perfect veneer I had the car I had the house I had the job I had the fake boyfriend I had everything veneer was perfect and as the veneer got shinier inside I died more and more until finally I just wanted to die and I was afraid I was going to kill myself but I didn't know how I remember thinking I can't throw myself off the building cause it's not tall enough I don't have a gun I'm a big gun control advocate I think most people in Canada are but I know how do I have a gun I would have thrown my head off I know that for sure in a drunken fit of self-loathing I would have blown my head off and none of this would have happened I knew that the best had already been I knew that there was no future I was 35 and now look at me it's pretty amazing I think that's partly why I'm so appreciative of what's happening cuz it almost didn't happen well all of your books actually a lot of them are about people having a having a second chance and you write about that you have this really profound relationship with the people that read your books and you talk about second chances and mm-hmm and here you are that it breaks my heart to think of all the people who give up who and I understand it because the pain is so great but if you just hold on if you ask for help just ask for help I asked for help and everything just fell into place and I have never been happier got friends gave up the the fictional friends friends got actual friends and I'm in that the on the messy mainland where it is messy the mainland is messy and it's dirty and it's got potholes and it's got valleys but my god it's fantastic so you married you met the love of your life you met Michael she was head of human here in Montreal kind of unusual but he was truly he he was the inspiration he gave you the safety to write you did well and I fell in love with him there on our first date poor man and then I was like crazy glued to him forced him to marry me I'm saying are you not in love with me yet yes and then he came oh then we got married and whatnot and he said I remember that you've always wanted to write a book if you would like to write quit work to write and what he said next was I think almost as wonderful as when he first said yes I do love you he said I'll support you thank God he met a potential news took years years then I suffered writer's block for five years it got embarrassing Michael stopped asking me how's the book going honey and then finally when I showed him the pages he would inevitably say this is wonderful I knew it wasn't I needed that I needed because there's there's enough criticism happening in my own head I didn't need that I some people like Mary being married to their their biggest critic and I don't I need to be married to my biggest cheerleader and that was Michael so then recently what a couple of years ago Mike has been diagnosed with dementia dementia that's right so what what is this like now here's the man who you can't afford it hold you back from the brink he did he did there was such a huge IOU out there to Michael but now I feel well I'm paying it off in a kind of in that psychic realm I'm able to give back to him what he gave to me he gave me my life and my dream and I'm able to give him these last few years of comfort so 12 books down well books a dozen how many more to go well how do you see your future you're just gonna come and go in the mode you don't back to Michael with it with the dementia the writing has been a blessing because it's mine Michael has been a huge part of it no no Michael no books for sure and I'm very aware of that but at 5:30 6:00 in the morning when I sit there with my cafe au lait and the laptop and friend the fireplace and it's quiet it's my world I can enter into the world of Three Pines and again I'm safe and sovereign I can control that world and I like those characters and it's it's been such a a bomb for me it's been a harbor for me so yeah I planned to murder at will for the rest of my life I feel quite benign that I for the most part only have one murder per book you're welcome oh it's been so great to catch up love you thank you all the best you Louise thank you

Channel: CBC News: The National

Views: 16,320

Rating: 4.9526629 out of 5

Keywords: CBC, the, national, The National, CBCCBCNewsnews, Louise Penny, Author, Wendy Mesley, Canadian literature

Id: 2W_tUxI4Mww

Length: 9min 10sec (550 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 17 2016