Long Lost Family SR04 EP01

for thousands of people across Britain someone is missing from their lives I just want to know did you think about me have I been in your thoughts have you tried looking from it I don't deserve children I gave one away how could I how could I that was the last letter I receive I have great fears of what could have happened to finding someone when the trails gone cold can feel like an impossible task but that's where we step in your mom has been found to the world [Music] offering a large chance of people desperate for help open the lock that's your dad it's just with no idea where our searches will need we've travelled the world uncovering family secrets and finding people that no one else has been able to trace how many we've come a long way to find you oh that's hair he did not deserve this and finally answering questions that have haunted entire lives [Music] this week two stories of lives overshadowed by regret a mother hoping for a second chance I ripped the picture up it's in my head I ripped it up turn on the oven and a woman searching for the father who didn't want her that really is the only picture I actually have of him I just love the pigments my dad but there's just a stranger [Music] our first search is on behalf of a mother who for more than 40 years has longed for forgiveness from the Sun she was unable to keep I've got no photograph of him but just seeing me pregnant brings it all back to me I see him there in my tummy reminds me of what I what I did so let's go of him [Music] tn yes please love 63 year old and munroe lives in the small Hampshire town of Ringwood with Jeff her husband of over 40 years Ann was born in 1951 to a large Catholic family in County Durham what my dad said went and if if you disobeyed his rules you knew it you knew it after an unhappy childhood and left home at the age of 16 and moved over 300 miles south to Dorset I can remember getting off the train at Bournemouth than I thought it was huge and I was in all of all the shops I thought I'm in seventh heaven and and the scenery and everything was beautiful as Ann settled into her new life on the south coast she began dating a local man but a year into their relationship she discovered she was pregnant [Music] when I told my boyfriend I was quite taken aback by his reaction he didn't want a baby he didn't even want to be with me because he'd been seeing another girl behind my back for the last six month and I just sat there thinking what am I going to do but my biggest fear was not having a baby my biggest fear was telling mum and dad my dad's very words were you've ruined your life get on with it that was his very words you've ruined your life get on with it but you do not come home with no one to support her and was forced to go through her pregnancy alone and in October she gave birth to her son she named mark I was stuck in the hospital with his lovely little baby who I loved nobody to turn to or nowhere to go I remember this lady coming in she more or less talked me into adoption she said he'd had he'd have a better life if I let him go and that sentence stuck with me for a long time I could remember hugging him and going I can give you lots of love but I can't give you anything else so the hardest decision of my life on Christmas Eve 1972 two months after giving birth to mark and saw her baby for the last time I remember the lady in the hospital saying you would get a photograph in the post a year on of just how he is and what he looks like and they said someone would come take him from me and I just handed him over that was it across the door probably hurt Ann's recovery from the loss of mark was helped by Jeff I couldn't have wished for a nice amount to come into my life he was so under sadly I just loved him loved him the following year Anand Jeff married and in October 1973 exactly a year after she'd given birth to mark the couple's first child was born but was exactly the same date October the 21st and I remember looking through pizza Judy turn oh my goodness I could see all this dark hair now that this one's mine I get to keep this one but tragically Anand Jeff's baby was premature and didn't survive the birth lost another baby and I could backhand thinking in my head not only had I lost my second baby it was on the same date that has had mark so I thought God is punishing me I really did think I really did think God is punish me why could've not picked another day I was devastated devastated but there Jeff brought the post up to me I looked at the envelope I thought earth is this come the wrong address it's a picture of this little boy oh you had quite a beautiful pretty little face so it just said on the back aged 1 years and I almost goodness and it was picture of mark no daddy thought how could they send me this picture when I've just lost the baby so I ripped you up I ripped the picture up it's in my head I ripped it up so I had nothing of it I never got over it really what's the lament although Ann and Jeff went on to have two more children together Ana's lived with the pain of having given up her first child for 41 years she would like to know that he's safe and whether he's had a good upbringing means you might not get the answers she wants but it would help her a lot to be peace with the decision she made 40 years ago right after die I sit here I can't sleep is he happy no is he gone family what does he look like maybe he's not alive anymore but I just want to tell him why I did what I did and if he could understand me dead so I forgive you I'd be at peace because I'm not at peace until I tell him [Music] when Mark was adopted it's likely his name would have been changed but there's no way and would have been able to find out his new identity without help without this she would never have been able to find his son working with an adoption specialist permitted to access this information we eventually discovered that Mark had been adopted by a mr. and mrs. hater who had changed his name to Colin using electoral rolls he was traced to the Isle of Wight just 20 miles from where he was born : is an ex servicemen who is fought in conflicts across the world including Northern Ireland Bosnia and Iraq today he lives in Shanklin with his wife and three sons we contacted him and he was happy to meet me and tortured herself but she wasn't able to care for her son and it's a pain she's still living with everyday but I wonder how the separation has affected Colin whether he harbors any resentment held bitterness towards the woman who wasn't able to look after him [Music] wife : hi Nikki hi all right yeah oh yeah I'm good thanks I'm good yeah kami thanks very much all right so how's things yeah good you first find out that I was looking for you yeah what was that like it was a surprise a shock but good a good surprise I felt flattered that someone was looking for me after all this time because I mean it's I'm 41 now however the rest of your family reacted they've been really good really good I did try and look for a fan when our first song was born so I then went to my mum she then gave me a few bits of um information that she had what what kind of information did you say it was just what my name at birth my mum's and how I aren't fed how I eat when I'm bathed but also the fact that I was a good-looking lad yeah oh she said in life and I have a real card and a real character they wrote this on the on the actual birth records that must have meant so much yeah did enough you know it's nice well I'm gonna photograph Wow well the same noses me mm-hmm she was desperate hmm to keep you hmm too wide well no support from her family right okay none whatsoever told the guy she was with he ran a mile all right and her parents just said look it's your problem he must have been gutted kids on my own now I know they would be horrible to do would I see a photograph of her when she was pregnant Wow it's really significant not because the only photograph she's got in which you and anyway connected because a year to the day after you were born she went into labor prematurely the baby was stillborn and on the very day that that happened the social workers sent her photograph of you which arrived in the post right and she was so grief-stricken she tore up the photograph and she regrets that hmm to this day well that's not good she feels incredibly incredibly guilty that she wasn't able to keep you and I guess she needs to know that she did the right thing she clearly done the right thing cuz I had a loving upbringing for my mom and dad was that be amazing for her to hear yeah I look forward to her to meet ya [Music] before we tell Ann that we have found her son our second search is on behalf of a woman who's grown up longing for the chance to share her life with the father she's never known absolutely I was a good boy in my heart I've got a dad in my house still around he rejected having a child I just want to know did you think about me have I been in your thoughts have you tried looking for me 28-year old nurse Louise Kendall lives with her four-year-old son Noah on the outskirts of Bradford is my life my world and I'll do anything to give him everything I think I'll always feel guilty that I'm a single parent but you're not having my dad I never want him to feel like I felt at times so Noah sees his dad every weekend and he's got a fantastic relationship with his dad [Music] born in 1985 Louise was brought up by her mother alone my family consisted of just me and my mom that's just the way our family was I didn't have a dad and some people did but growing up Louise was always told about her French father Stefan who her mother had met when she worked as no pair in France this is the first time louise has visited dijon the city were her mother and father fell in love as teenagers feels really strange to be here and to think that years ago the walked the streets together a keep looking at people walking past and thinking could i be related could that be my dad Louise's father Stefan was a 17-year old student when he met her mother nearly 30 years ago she thought it was hard really piercing striking blue eyes a curly hair really dark and used to ride a moped so super cool and whenever he got off his bike used to arrange his fringe now I'm here I can imagine what that must have been like I think it sounds are really romantic and lovely set outside a cafe with the hot chocolate and a crepe but after nearly a year together Louise's mother discovered she was pregnant but Stefan didn't want to be a father and asked her to terminate the pregnancy [Music] I just think you are you [Music] Louise candle has grown up knowing that her father Stefan who was just a teenager when she was born didn't want her when she was pregnant my mum told me that my dad didn't want to be a dad being a 17-year old and then being told somebody's having a child must have terrified him although Stefan asked her to have a termination Louise's mother was unable to go through with it and instead returned home to Bradford in November 1985 Louise was born and her mother gave her a permanent link to have father look until about a year they did have contact and although my mum registered me as a Kendall through school or my christening day my mom chose to christen me as pasta-like which is obviously my father's last name it means a lot it's a sense of belonging that I do belong to my dad although I may not be in my life we are still connected even if it's just by a surname is still there and amongst my life I'd hope that it would be proud of the fact that I am apostolate because it's there in black and white they sent me a picture in September of 86 that really is the only picture I actually have of him and I've kept it all this time his eyes got my dad's eyes over the years I've probably looked at it on good days and bad days I suppose I just look like that it's my dad but there's just a stranger in there guess she just longed to meet them I have tried various different ways to search for my dad but I always just come back to a dead-end I do love him I'll always love him because he's my dad but it breaks my heart to think what my dad did mom I just wish I could know whether it did regret it I feel like he owes me an explanation when Louise came to us she had done everything she could even contacting the French Embassy and Interpol but she'd drawn a blank and not being able to speak French and got nowhere on the Internet when we ran a check of public records in France there were lots of possibilities but none that quite match the few details we had knowing that Stefan would only be in his mid 40s and probably working we hoped he would be active on social media we accessed professional networking sites and these produced one profile which looked likely although this profile was for a Stefan Lupo still a very slightly different to the name that Louise gave us one crucial bit of information stood out this man was educated in diesel the town where Louise's mother and father met when he contacted this Stefan he confirmed he was the right man and agreed to meet at his home in the Alps we sent Davina he speaks fluent French in case he felt uncomfortable speaking English now 46 Stefan is a life coach and lives alone a few miles from a ski resort of Maribel he has never had any more children although Louise's mother has always been honest about the fact that Stefan didn't want to be a father Louise has clung on to the hope that it's a decision he may have regretted but what about Stefan has he ever thought about her has he hoped that they might meet one day or did he simply put his teenage past behind him years ago [Music] rhasta fan no she Davina Jodie Russi Isis tell me how you feel about Lily's coming to find you I'm very happy and in the meantime I'm nervous yes I'm nervous but uh in the past I have dreamt a few times that uh she she came to me and say hello and wisdom your daughter so now we are in the really thing I don't dream anymore did you ever think about looking for her no no no when her mother has left France when she was pregnant everything stops and uh the story was there and so how did you feel that she'd got pregnant bad hmm for me it was a wonder the same the same feeling that if one sky falls on your head why because I was too young items have I didn't have any job anymore nothing like that and in the meantime my parents ever divorced in a 1981 and the example that I have seen during my childhood yeah I was not very very good so for me I thought that I would become a bad father and the bad husband so what happened Alejandro no meat area pshoo Keiko photo the Louisa patty Mullin is own soprano present more a Chili's a kavadi ah I saw Tommy mojo son booze Ando well I don't get it can I can I see yeah sure sure it's it would that be all right yeah sure no pleasure voila I can remember her like a baby may pull more Louisa sister - ah yes blonde hair yeah blue eyes tiny photo well there is another photo that you can add to your club it's your daughter Ella li zuru Tom Papa voice she was christened with your name well and and that was really important to her it's crazy being so far and so connected she's written your letter dear dad I am - thought about you wondered what I would say to you given the opportunity I just want you to know that I will always love you you will always all the place in my heart I hope that one day I will find you so I can introduce you to someone very precious to me my son [Music] who is now for thiazole with all my love always Louise father and grandfather and assembly it's crazy [Music] [Music] in 1973 at the age of 21 and Monroe faced the impossible decision of having to give up her son mark for adoption for more than 40 years and been battling with feelings of guilt that of times have felt completely overwhelming so I really hope that when she hears that not only has her son been found but he also really wants to meet her she'll finally be able to forgive herself for not having kept him [Music] [Music] [Music] hello how you doing I'm fine thank you good to see you you realize coming yes please thank you very much well let's talk about your search left right for your son because I know that you've searched for a long time yes I have and some things kept you going what is it I need to tell him that I didn't part with him because I didn't love him I parted with him because I did love him and I had no choice and how's it made you feel giving him up well it broke my heart it did break my heart there's no away from I so wanted to keep him hmm there's not a day not a that's gone by Tyson don't thing where is he you don't have one photograph done no photograph no the picture came in a wrong time in my life and I ripped up I ripped it did it look anything like that oh my goodness to me my company look so happy I waited 40 years for this I can't believe it oh this means so much to me is he still here he's alive does he want to see big he really wants to meet you Oh like I don't know what to say lieutenant do you have you got a picture of him now oh it's your son oh my goodness Wow well I just can't believe mrs. hunt this is just everything to me I can't stop looking in this photograph I can't stop looking this picture I've had in my head for 40 years and this is the photograph I belonged to for for 40 years and now I've got them both I've got a lot more than that more than a photo you'd be able to meet him Wow and I can tell him my story your son's name please Colin Colin oh well that's gonna be difficult I'll tell her the same kind of like well you'll get you'll get you sit oh wife I got have I got any more grandchildren so he's married to his childhood sweetheart lovely yeah and they've got three boys oh how wonderful my goodness I can't believe that I'm not going to sit on that sofa now for the next 20 years wondering and I've got my wish I've got my wish [Music] today a week after discovering her son has been found and is finally going to meet him for 41 years I've had where is he what does he look like is he happy is he married what's his name and it's gone the wandering and I said to Jeff what we going to talk about now my head is clear for once in my life [Music] ready you have my all exercises [Music] see you later thank you Dan bye-bye bye-bye [Music] I'm doing you ready yeah yeah yeah let's get let's get in the car [Music] and wants to meet Colin at Avon beach and mud effort on the south coast just a few miles from where she last saw him Colin has made the short ferry trip over from the Isle of Wight I believe it's about to happen no I must have ate some when I was gone quick so he's always thought this day would never happen you know so and now all of a sudden as long as she's not disappointed are you worried about that little bit yeah what you gonna say I don't know I just want to hug him and squeeze him and kiss him and tell him that I loved him and I've always loved you feel a connection that now they can no shoes she's been looking for you and she's found you and she's there and you're about to meet her yeah yeah I do the shelter looking in photos and more and more I think about it then there is something but got seating and you get nervous maybe the little tiny bit right level this is it and gonna meet your birth mother on in there right thank you very much you've been a pleasure it's good luck please Thanks how you feeling yeah I'm nervous thank you oh I'm fine so I'm gonna stop you here this is where I say goodbye Oh goodbyes are being thank you thank you your son's waiting for you in the catheter [Music] [Music] you [Music] Oh like I'm company freezing okay listen every cup of tea I think I can't see my glasses it's the yo-yo is saving up I've waited 41 years for this I have to tell you because I always wanted to explain you why I did wha what I did mmm so then you can understand it maybe forgive me for what of course I'll give you pass course yeah yeah of course happy my words were loving you know family it was great so I had a good upbringing you've never helped a grouch never at all knows that just means so much to me it really does I didn't make the right decision yeah yeah and that we're together and now we're back to do it no no when I got your photograph I went oh my goodness he's grown up yeah when I tried to know who's think Olivia I felt this I've known him all my life this tiny little baby that I left and gave away that I've cried over for 41 years that I've dreamt about what does he look like and I'm looking at him and he's grown up into this wonderful wonderful young man like Peter working it we're done together oh I'm not going to see you as a son I'm gonna see you as my best man Minnie I saw her I just felt complete you know so like something was was missing but now it's no longer missing it makes you feel kind of something something special you know I just can't stop smiling I've made look and I can't believe it he's just so lovely [Music] [Music] twenty-eight-year-old luiz kendall has never met her French father Stefan who was only 18 when she was born louise has grown up with very little to connect her to her dad his name on her birth certificate his blue eyes and tiny photograph of him for years she's longed for more for him to actually be part of her life I'm on my way to tell her that we found him and after a lifetime of being complete strangers she'll finally get to meet her father [Music] hi hey all right yeah lovely to meet you thank you you've had so little to survive on I mean one tiny picture what what's kept your dad alive in your heart I think Russ is part of me it's always gonna be there and he'll are we he's always been there have always been brought up that I have a dad just that is not there and it's been difficult hasn't it it's just sort of it's strange because I know somebody's out there that's my dad that's what I found out it's the unknown and I was living in limbo because she do it I don't know if he's okay and I don't know if he's well and he is okay we found him he hid limited where does he live in France in the Alps really nothing got kids he doesn t never had any more kids you're his only daughter to the movie he has a very precious collection of photographs of you completely can too you have to photo album it's really migrated on smoke shocked ah God does not feel real I can't believe it has he ever tried to look for me he hasn't he was very very afraid that you were angry no you were going to be upset with him and I think that's why he's never looked he's just been fearful can't show you Alyssa my dear Louise you cannot imagine the extent to which I am moved by writing to you for the first time the idea of meeting you of listening to your voice did he finally discover and know the person you have become what you have made of your life fills me with joy and yeah at the same time I feel afraid and I am overwhelmed what will your feelings reactions be when you learn more about me oh my mother that's him so weird you're just late - no they thought about me wow I can't believe us my dad think I've got this nervous it's just so strange because I've seen him as a boy and in my head that's always always it's like Peter Pan he's never grown up in my head has always been that same man so to see him as an adult it's just so weird oh we look so happy please give him my number you get that when you see him you will see him yeah I can't wait for him to meet Noah five days after discovering we had found her father Louise will meet him for the first time I am excited they're just scared I'm trying to have a hot-looking kiss I'm locked out [Music] Louise has traveled down from Bradford to London to meet Stefan as he arrives off the train from France [Music] [Music] how I feel excited happy scare scare the fear is that since 28 years I was a father but only on the paper I'm in the reality finally I'm here the dreams come true [Music] [Music] thank you very much with thank you for this day you have been so courageous do you sure you want to do this yeah oh dear I feel like I'm dreaming Ronis Charlotte I'm here thank you I think I just wanna know why why you did because it was to last time that's when I heard that your mother was pregnant I have asked her to not to teach you I think game T and Shamu was too heavy for me to go ahead to find you and I have read you are literacy so full of love who's always been honest she's brought me up to just realize it you were just too young and she did tell me that you wanted determination I know that you know that and you can and you want to meet me I'm very lucky I understand why we have a very difficult sure and I'm very lucky lucky you are we've got a lot of years to make up I'm with [Music] I'm alive I wondered worried a decision you know wish did not made and for me to know that it's obviously played on his mind makes me realize that for up to did regret does Noah northern I'm shown him your picture when I said it was granddad he giggled when I told him your name he giggled again I have my mum and my dad now I feel really lucky I'm so happy she's so nice I have to stop the story from now it is my past I can change anything I have to live with that the good thing is that while I'm in front of risk today I think thank you next time on long-lost family a daughter searching for the mother she's never known there's just this huge gap in my life I can't imagine what it must be like [Music] to have them and the search for a missing brother I never felt I had a family of my own so all I was yearned to meet him [Music] [Music] you [Music] you [Music] you [Music] [Music]

Channel: undefined

Views: 1,298,504

Rating: 4.7298398 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: 5_7Ewmt9EeI

Length: 46min 7sec (2767 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 26 2015