- And all that thing about potential, I was tired of having potential. I wanted to have my now. I'm an average ordinary mom who said I want to drastically
transform my son's future. The power of I am, the power of I am can pull you
through the darkest moment. As you're creating success,
create holistic success. Have a small change over 30 days, and then a small change over 30 days. Your breakthrough will
come in needlepoint moves. At some point, I have to stop asking, "Can I be great, can I be brilliant?" You have to disrupt that soil in order to plant a new
seed to grow a new fruit. There's not one line of
business that you can be in that a story and a great story
won't elevate your outcome. Wealth is possessions and money. Abundance is a 360 experience. I look at my life and
I wasn't supposed to be who I am today. - She's an author, life coach,
and motivational speaker. She's the founder and CEO
of Motivating the Masses. She's also a best-selling
author of six books. She's Lisa Nichols, and here are her top 10 rules for success. - I struggled all through school. The last time I took
English class, I got a fail, and my English teacher said
I was the weakest writer she ever met in her entire life. The last time I took a
speech class, same year, I got a D minus in speech and my speech teacher said, "Lisa, I recommend you
never speak in public, "that you get a desk job." So that was the beginning of my life. That was my 19-year-old experience. And then I go on, and I'm
trying to figure it out, trying to figure it out. I was obedient. I went and got a job in accounting. I was in the collection
department for seven years. You all don't know, I'm
dangerous to accounting. I'm just dangerous,
and I'm in collections, and you know you should
never put a broke person in collections, never,
because everybody's reason sound good to me. (laughter) I know it sound funny, but it was real. Not only did I say "Girl, don't
you worry about paying that. "Imma take your name off the list." Somebody went to jail
because I was in collections. I got fired from five different jobs. And then I got pregnant
with my son unexpectedly. And then at eight months, my
son's father went to prison. I have to get on government's
assistance to have my baby. I was on WIC, Women, Infant
and Children to feed my child. And when my son was eight months old, I went to the ATM to get $20 out the bank because I didn't have any Pampers for him. And in order to get $20
out, you got to have $20 in. I had $11.42. And I still can't tell the
story without getting emotional because it's my story. For two days, I had to
wrap my son in a towel. But something happened,
Steve, in those two days. I was at rock bottom. I was broke, and I was broken. Inglewood, California,
my son laying on his back at eight months, I have a towel over him, and I have my hand on his stomach, saying, "Don't you worry, J Lonny, "Mommy will never be this broke again." And I had made a decision I was bankrupt. And every stinking thinking I had, I was bankrupt and trying
to protect my pride. I was bankrupt and trying to be all that and a bag of chips and a
bowl of grits falsified. I was bankrupt and trying
to not ask anyone for help. I was bankrupt in everything
that was holding me and keeping me where I was. I've always talked a good game, but I wasn't doing anything with my gift. And all that thing about potential, I was tired of having potential,
I wanted to have my now. And I looked at that baby at eight months, and I said, "I want to
transform your life. "Because you didn't ask
to come into this chaos." As an African-American male child in South-Central Los Angelos, with a single mother
whose father's in prison, he had a 66% chance of
going to prison himself. Not on my watch. Not on my watch. So if I have to be willing to
drastically transform myself so that I can become the
woman that I know I can be. And that's what I began to do. I was radical. - What did you do, Lisa? What did you do to change your life? - First, I realized I
couldn't grow with people who were struggling like me. That whole I don't want
to leave nobody behind? No, I don't want to stay with ya'll. You don't even want to be here. I don't want to be the
queen of this block. And I became okay with the fact that it doesn't make me any
less committed to my community, committed to my coacher,
committed to my family. The best thing I can do for
you is not stay here with you. When I've got that, I went to
places I'd never seen before. I went to conferences where
people were talking about money, talking about prosperity, talking about it was like no hablo espanol,
whacha all talking about? ROIs, and PPMs, and term aggrements, and capital fundraising and
bottom lines, and what is? Imma stay until I learn
what you're talking about. I went to the same conference 42 times. And there I raised $532,000 in capital for my company to start my dream. And my dream was to transform teen lives. I want to teach teens
how to fall madly in love with themselves and how to
make integrity based decisions. And I got it funded,
and I started working. And that was the beginning
of me rescuing myself. I realized that I am my rescue. No one else is my rescue, I am my rescue. So I was hungry. Like, I was hungry. People often want to
call me the exception, like, "Oh my gosh, you're the exception." No, I'm not the exception. I'm an average ordinary
woman who chose every day to make one more extraordinary decision. I'm an average ordinary mom, who said I want to drastically
transform my son's future. That he deserves to have ever option that every other child would have, irregardless of what he was born into. I just was crazy enough to believe that. That it doesn't matter
the color of my skin, doesn't matter my religious background, doesn't matter my origin, it doesn't matter my mom's bank account and my dad's bank account when I was born. None of that means my future. That's just the circumstance
that I came from. That's not what defines my
future, I just believe that. Not a lot validated it, but faith is believing
in the unseen anyway. So I had enough faith to go, "I know like I know like
I know like I know." I don't necessarily have to see it yet. Christy talked about affirmations. Abundant thinkers understand
the power of I am. Anything after the word I am is true to your unconscious
mine, Michael, anything. Anything after I am,
anything, anything after I am, even if you're just
you know it's not true, your conscious mind will believe it. Anything after I am. So the use of affirmations
is very intentional and very consistent. I was diagnosed as
clinically depressed in 2001, 1998, I'm sorry. I was diagnosed as clinically depressed. Me, it didn't make sense. I had been in a relationship, I was engaged to get married and my fiance who I didn't not know at
the time was bi-polar, and he'd stopped taking his medicines and under the belief system
that love can cure anything. And so I ended up being picked up and thrown three feet across the room, and I ended up being
choked until I passed out. And once I got out of that relationship, I just was different, was different. So my mom insisted that
I go to the doctor. I went to the doctor
and I sat on the table, and she checked me and talked to me and came back in with a
prescription and she said, "Lisa, you're clinically depressed." And I felt like I heard Charlie
Brown's parents talking, like whaa whaa, whaa whaa, whaa. Because clinically depressed and Lisa, they don't make sense
in that same sentence. And she handed me a prescription and I read the prescription, it had my name on it and it said Prozac. And I thought, "That don't make sense. "Lisa Nichols, Prozac,
that don't make sense." And I said, "Do you mean I'm sad?" She said, "Very, very sad." I said, "Can I try something?" And I'm not recommending you
guys, if you're on medication, you stop taking your meds,
please don't do that. I asked my doctor, she agreed. I said, "Do you mind if I try
something before I take this?" She goes, "Yes, but I need
to see you back in 30 days. "If you're in the same condition, "I need us to try this medicine." I said, "Okay, I can do that." So I went home. And every day, I got in the
mirror, and I drilled I am. Every day. Because I realized I
have forgotten who I was. I just forgot. And it was okay to forget, I just forgot. So every day, every day for 25 minutes I just went over the I ams. Every day I am, I am, I am,
and then I paralleled that with I forgive you for,
than I paralleled that with I committ to you, Lisa. Every single day. I went back in 30 days,
and I'm talking to her, and I'm on fire, she's just looking at me. And I'm just talking, talking,
she twisted her head again, and I'm just talking, talking, she says, "Wait, I got to stop you." I said, "What?" She goes, "What are you
taking? And can I have some?" (laughs) I was like,
"I'm taking some of me." And so the power of I am, the power of I am can pull you
through the darkest moment. The power of I am. Success is personally defined by everyone. And as you're creating success,
create holistic success. My biggest successes are the things that people don't even see. It's the fact that my 14 year old son calls me his best friend to his friends. That's bigger than any book
deal that you can give me, that's bigger than sitting
across from Larry King or beside Oprah, that my 14 year old son calls me his best friend. Creating holistic success
is really important. Let me tell you, in order
to have something different, you are going to have to
do something different. In order to have something more, you have to do something
you haven't done yet. I have to say the things
I didn't want to say, do the things I didn't feel like doing to have the life I knew I wanted. Period. Period. And all I did was give instructions for here, do this bite size, do this bite size, do this bite size. Bite sized, digestible, palatable
pieces of what you can do. Does that sound good to you guys? And when you look up, and
you don't have to have a magnificent change over 12 months. Have a small change over 30 days, and then a small change over 30 days. You breakthrough will
come in needlepoint moves. And you'll look up in five years, and not recognize your life. - What's been your biggest
accomplishment, you think? - Bouncing back, number
one, is refusing to listen to the negative chatter in my own head, refusing to listen to other
people's perception of me, creating something from
absolutely nothing. There's the books, there's the
TV, there's all that stuff, but my biggest accomplishment
is being willing to give myself a thousand second chances, and every time I got
to 999, I press reset. I didn't ask permission, I gave notice. At some point, I have to stop asking, "Can I be great? "Can I be brilliant? "Can I be okay and still be accepted?" I just stopped asking permission and just gave notice unapologetically. And not in a braggadocios way. Not in a way that's shrunk anyone else, in a way that's said,
"I only got one life, "and Imma ride this one
til the wheels fall off." And then all the other stuff came as a result of a decision I made. - Right. But it was a decision you made. - It was a decision, and it didn't come from a motivational experience. It didn't come from an inspiring teacher, it came from hitting rock bottom. There's so much value in what you unlearn. Sometimes the best thing you
can do is unlearn some things. We're always going after
learning something new because we're information junkies, because we have all these forms
of information coming at us on the internet, coming at us in books, coming at us on the radio,
coming at us on television, that we want to learn, learn learn. But sometimes your biggest breakthrough is in what you unlearn,
and then you relearn. Sometimes you have to disrupt
your soil, pull your soil up, take that dry dirt that's
been planted for years. I know, I just been
knowing this for years. This is what my mother taught me, this is what we've always done. You have to disrupt that soil in order to plant a new
seed to grow a new fruit. Yeah, yeah? You guys got that? And so I came very comfortably
to disrupt your soil. That's what I came for,
to disrupt your soil. Not to necessarily keep you
comfortable in what you know, stay comfortable in that. I want to disrupt you in some
things that are new awareness, to go "Oh, wait. Hold on." Or new awareness about
what you've been doing based on what you've known forever that doesn't fit your future anymore. Because I can guarantee
you every single one of us who wants something different
then what we're getting, we're doing something
unconsciously from old patterns that doesn't even serve our future. That's when the tongue in your mouth and the tongue in your shoe are going in two totally
different directions. And your job is to line them up so that you can move
forward in a powerful way. Every single thing you touch
is impacted by your story. As an attorney, as a
teacher, as an architect, there's not one line of
business that you can be in that a story and a great story
won't elevate your outcome. Every single line of business,
every single line of service that you're connected to will be impacted and ideally elevated by the level in which you're willing to
tell and share your story. So let me give you some
guidelines, some parameters, what I like to call the bumper rails, as if you were going bowling. When I go bowling, I ask them to put the little bumper rails down so my ball can get down the lane. So let me set up some bumper rails for you so that you understand
what makes a great story. So one is the willingness to take risk. Most people, Vishen, when
they're telling a story, they don't want to take a risk, so the story has it's
limits on how high it'll go or how deep it'll go. And when you have that, then
you're really not at that part that's going to touch my soul. So being willing to take a risk. Being clear and concise with your stories. A great story is a show me
story, not a tell me story. Now this is the distinction that's the game changer for most. Most people are telling a story. They say, "So let me just share with you "a little bit of my story." And I'll tell you and then I'll show you. So as I was building my life,
there was a time in my life that was very difficult, it was very, true story, very difficult,
very challenging, very uncomfortable. I didn't have a lot of money,
I didn't have a lot of hope, and things just looked dismal. At some point, I had
to turn my life around. At some point, I made the decision that life had to get better. I'm telling you that. It was decent, you learn about me. Then if I were to show you that story, I would say six days a week, I had to eat beanies and weenies. I had to find money in the crevices, in the corners of my couch so
that I can get my son milk. There were times when
my heart would beat fast just at what am I going to have tomorrow? At some point, I got sick
and tired of my own story. Is this going to be my future? No, I can't handle it. Notice a difference in that second story. - Wow, I completely see that. - I just painted a picture. Same story. Now the second one where you show a story, it's going to require more of you. It's going to require
you to find the colors. What were you thinking? What were you experiencing? What was going on in your head? Instead of telling me you looked
for money, turn and point. Now this is anywhere. This is anywhere you are doing anything. I promise you, you become
a great story teller and you will captivate your audience no matter what you're doing. I have captivated investors,
I have captivated students, I've captivated educators because I was willing to show the story. I call it unpacking the story, Vishen. Being willing to tell me
what were you thinking, what were you feeling,
what were you seeing. Think about a story as an oral movie. And so in an oral movie, think, when you're looking at a movie, the first thing they do is they identify what state of time is it. Is it futuristic? Is it in the now? Was it back in the day? You notice that based on
what people are wearing, how they're talking. So paint that picture for me. Take me to that environment. Set the backdrop up for me. Show me what you're going through. Instead of saying, "I was angry." You can tell me you were
angry, but when you say, "The hair on the back of
my neck was standing up. "I felt the fumes exiting my nose. "I thought that my chest was going to pop "and I was going to say something
that I'd regret forever." Ooh, you just showed me you were angry. Take that extra time to unpack it. Why will most people not do that? Because it requires a
level of vulnerability that we're not willing to share. Myth number two is that abundance is singularly focused on
possessions and money. Right? It's all about what you
drive, what you live in, how much money you make. When in fact, this couldn't
be further from the truth. Wealth is possessions and money. Abundance is a 360 experience. Abundance is a 360 experience. True abundance, true
abundance is your health, because if you don't have great health, life does not feel good. Abundance is relationship,
at the end of your life, literally, you will measure
the quality of your life by the quality of the
relationships you had. All the other stuff will fall away. That promotion you're thinking about, you're wondering about that raise, it will fall away in
the area of importance. When you get to the end of your life, you will begin to look at the
quality of your relationships. How your children related to you, how your siblings related to you, do you have love in your life. You literally will start
looking at relationships at a higher level as you get older. So when you mind them now,
you take care of them. And I know that for a fact. I have a friend who's worth $14 billion. Billion, with a B. He was just partying at my
house all night long with Lee. Four in the morning, go home. And he flew in from Canada
to go to my New Year's party because he loves my family connection. And he doesn't have one. He is financially wealthy,
he is relationship broke. Does that make sense? Abundance is a 360 experience. It's about relationships,
it's about health, it's about your spiritual groundness. That doesn't mean you
have a religious origin, it's about can your release. Can you forgive, can you
let go, can you be still, do you meditate, do you
have time with yourself, that has a lot to do with
the quality of your life. That ability. And I have a message for you. A very important message. We live in a world where limiting beliefs and limited thinking is accepted. And in some environments,
it's actually encouraged. Not to put anyone down
or any institution down, but look at our educational system. It's bound by who you
can be, who you can't be. We're taught that as an
academic excellence student, you are expected to achieve more. Pressures. But yet, even inside that
more, that higher achievement, there's still a limiting belief there. You know, I look at my life today, and it's barely recognizable. I'm grateful to say I
have six best sellers. I sat with Oprah, with Larry
King, on CNN, Good Day LA. I've traveled all over the world, worked in Taipei and
Africa and Kazakhstan, but that wasn't where I started. I started struggling for 12
years in the educational system. Not thinking I was good enough. The word fail or not pass was
threaded through every year in school in some area or another. And so I graduated, or got out. I mean, I graduated, but
what did I graduate to? I graduated to more of who I
think I might be able to be, or who I couldn't be,
but not my possibility. I look up and for the first 10, 15 years of my adulthood, I struggled. I struggled because I didn't
dream big enough at that time. I didn't know. I felt like my dreams
were covered and smothered with the cultural limitations. We're defined by who our parents were, what our culture can do,
what our community can do. So you look at all the areas of our lives, financially, mentally, emotionally,
family, geographically, and all of those things
kind of put us in a box. And some of our boxes are this big, so we think they're amazing. Some of them are this big, and we know they're
choking the life out of us. The reality is we're
trained to be realistic. To be logical, to stay practical. And there's nothing realistic and logical about Steve Jobs and his journey. There's nothing realistic and logical about Dr. Martin Luther King and his willingness to be radical for a change that none of us saw coming. There's nothing realistic
about Nelson Mandela leaving prison after 27 years and leading the largest
forgiveness movement ever. There's nothing realistic and
logical about even my journey. Born and raised in
South-Central Los Angelos. Having three fights a week
just to get home from school. Being told that I was the weakest writer my teacher had ever met, and that I should never speak in public by my speech teacher, to
looking at my life today and going on and having a
child before I got married, and getting on government's
assistance just to feed my baby. Not having money to buy him Pampers, and wrapping my son in
a towel for three days until I can afford to get
money to buy him Pampers. I look at my life, and
I wasn't supposed to be who I am today. Something turned, but it
didn't come from outside, it didn't come from my
culture or my community, it came from within. Who I was committed to
transforming my life into just didn't fit. It didn't fit realistic,
it didn't fit practical, and it didn't fit logical. I didn't know how I
was going to get there. There were no examples
of how I would get there. There was no instructions,
there was no GPS, and there wasn't even anyone around me that had an idea of how to help me. All there was was my intuition. My internal GPS. My internal guide placement
system, and the will, and the desire, and the
big dream inside my belly. And I was willing to keep at it until I burst something
greater than myself. In order to live the life you love, and love the life you live, you have to be willing to step
on the other side of normal, on the other side of where people give you permission to step. You have to be willing to step on the other side of realistic. You have to be willing to dream big, and give yourself a radical
chance for a radical future, and the breathtaking possibility. It starts with you, I promise. - Thank you guys so much for watching. I made this video because
Charmaine Robinson asked me to. So if there's a famous entrepreneur that you want me to profile next, leave it in the comment below
and I'll see what I can do. I'd also love to know which
of Lisa's top ten rules hit you the hardest, had
the biggest impact on you, leave it in the comments and
I'll join in the discussion. Thank you so much for watching, continue to believe,
and I'll see you soon. - You won't ever attract more money to you until you become a even greater steward of the money that you have. That when you mind your
pennies, dollars will flow. But if you are currently
not the best steward of the money that you have,
meaning that you spend it fast, you give it away, you don't
know how much you have, then it's difficult for the universe to give you more of what
you're not taking total and the highest level of
responsibility around. That's an ouch, but it's the truth. I kept wanting to make more money, but I wasn't minding the
money I was making right. Because my mother used to
say money burns our pockets. So I thought money was hot
and I had to spend it fast. And once I learned how to
mind my existing money, all of the sudden, I begin to have space to attract more money in my space. So being a good steward
of your existing dollars are very very important because that will bring
about more prosperity. You have to recognize,
and this is the part where people resist, they come
to me for help all the time. Okay great, let's find
out what's in break down. I'm cool, I just need to get back, no something's in break down. A breakdown doesn't mean
you need a wide jack and you on the floor, it
means something in my life isn't the exact way I want it. We always have breakdown, it's just how we manage our breakdown. So the number one thing is to
be authentic and transparent about what's not working. Even in your grandeur,
something ain't working. The reality is somebody lost
40 pounds and I found it. And I'm trying to return
it to it's rightful owner. (laughter) I'm just saying. So that's what I'm working on right now. The best thing I can do is
be honest out loud about it. We try to protect and hide too much. We try to defend and protect too much. We live in proving, so
first thing I get them to do is what are you hiding,
protecting, proving, or defending? Let's identify that. Now what's the distance between that and where you want to
be, and then the rest is are you willing to do something
you've never done before? Most people don't. They want to have a grander
life, a more exciting life, doing exactly what they were doing. See my grandmother said
that conviction and comfort don't live in the same block. If you going to be
convicted about something, you might have to go
through some discomfort. But if you want to stay comfortable, why don't you just relax where you are, because that's where you're going to stay. And so are you willing
to reinvent who you are? Are you willing to kill
away the procrastination? Are you willing to kill away
the excuses, the blame game? I never let people call me
a single mom by my title. I'm Lisa Nichols who happens
to be a single mother. Don't define me by my circumstances, define me by my intention. So it's just really being willing. Most change will happen here first. And if you don't change there, you can win the lotto
and still end up broke, because you're going to slingshot back to your mental comfort zone. - [Steve] Most people do.
