Let's talk about last week.

there's an old proverb about a mighty oak and a little reed I don't know where it comes from if Wikipedia says a SUP but if you read a little further it says a bunch of other so who knows nothing in life is ever simple is always complicated if you look into it but it's not important story goes like this it's windy and the oak is being a real dick to the reed because he's just bending all over the place just bending all around in the wind because he's not big and strong like the oak he Oaks like hey Reed what's your problem Bend much and the reeds like whatever dude only it turns out it's not just windy it's a hurricane and when the wind gets bad enough the oak is knocked over while the reed is able to stay in place because rather than being rigid and inflexible it stayed loose then the reed is like haha you oak you loser and that Reed's name was Albert Einstein last week I up I uploaded a mean-spirited video with some pretty ableist language and overtones among other things I referred to the conspiracy theories of a man who is diagnosed with bipolar disorders using the words nanners and lunacy lunacy I came to learn was actually directly related to bipolar disorder in a derogatory way which I didn't know but I knew better than to use that word and I did it anyway few people took issue with it and they let me know gently that what I had done was hurtful and beneath me and I did what youtubers are supposed to do in that situation I followed protocol I got really defensive like a baby a baby that had both pooped and peed itself that kind of baby insulted everyone who spoke up and threw a temper tantrum I was about halfway through writing an op-ed for reason.com titled why I'm leaving the left the hounding of SJW woke scolds when I thought you know what I'm gonna ask my fiancee what she thinks and she'll tell me I'm right because I'm always right and the only feedback I should be allowed to get is constant praise so she watched it and she said to me well Matt you know one problem with this video is that you did up and one thing about the criticism you're getting is that they kind of have a point and suddenly the cognitive dissonance was broken and it became obvious to me like it had been obvious to everyone else before me that I was doing that thing you know that thing where you know you're wrong so you try and just be wrong harder at the people trying to talk sense to you to double down and double down until you're comfortably beneath the earth's crust and nobody can force you back up to the surface to confront the painful reality that you've heard people so I swallowed my pride and I said I was sorry I took down the video reached out to a few of the people I'd been particularly shitty to and apologized to them personally it hurt to do it was hard I don't tell you that to make you feel sorry for me it should be hard growth is hard and this is my job people pay me thousands of dollars a month and that means it doesn't always get to be easy I'm not entitled to this being easy I don't know exactly what creators owe an audience but I know the answer isn't nothing that's a shitty attitude to have I think I owe plenty to my audience I owe you honesty if I'm going to ask you to listen to what I say each week the very least I can do to earn that privilege is to mean what I say I owe you integrity while nobody can be perfect I owe it to people who have invested a little bit of their emotions in me over time to respect that and honor that I'm not always a good person nobody is always a good person but I think it's fair to say that I damn well ought to try we all ought to try and when I fail and I sometimes will because I'm human that means I have to make amends I have to admit faults and face the consequences of my actions and it's easy really easy to easy to just not do that once I was done being awful last week I felt awful appropriately I might add it should feel awful to be hurtful that's healthy that's good as good as it might be for me though I don't like that feeling and the temptation is always there in the back of my head I don't have to apologize I can just pretend this didn't happen I can pretend I don't agree I can act like I'm being picked on unfairly and the thousands of people who follow me in a social media sense not in like a cult sense would back me up when people criticize me I'm the powerful party in that exchange it takes guts for people to criticize me I'm extremely proud of developing a community of people willing to call me on my that tells me if nothing else I'm doing a pretty good job of setting expectations want to know the weird though people started immediately heaping me with embarrassing praise for doing what I consider to be the bare minimum people started telling me wow what integrity you have how brave of you for doing what boiled down to me saying oops I gained patreon donors from this and it occurred to me nothing bad is gonna happen to me I up I hurt people I D humanize people and all I did was say I was sorry and everyone's like oh we're good it actually made people respect me more for apologizing but that's not the narrative we're told is it it's supposed to go like person does something not woke enough and then the cannibalistic Left descends upon them and now nothing they can do will appease the bloodthirsty woke scolds and here I was on the other side now these people were descending on me I've been microbe wrestling all over town and the sjw's were gonna kick me out of their safe spaces for sure is this the end of thought slime and No everybody was like now it's cool don't do that again though now mind you I'm white I look male I'm not disabled there are certainly people whose disposability can be disguised as some boutique social justice cause when a trans woman makes a little comic about shoplifting art supplies everyone let's take a moral stand against this type of lawlessness and then they'll tune in later to watch better call Saul to watch the crime lawyer do crimes for money people get harassed for transgressing that's obvious people get treated badly sometimes far too badly when they do something people don't like obviously I am less disposable than many of my contemporaries but this myth of the un-- please Abul oklets angry mobs who can't be pleased no matter how hard you try they just want to play the oppression Olympics and any apology will just be taken as an admission of guilt and considered dishonest anyway so why bother all of the complaints about the alleged frailty of the tumblr right left the canceled thirsty brigades of rad libs the wallets lying in wait for you to mess up so they can destroy you none of that anywhere to be found by this point I was feeling pretty shitty so I curled up in bed with a book played some animal crossing made a stir-fry and left social media for the day to pity myself good news though because the sec and I came back to social media that guilt in self-pity disappeared and in its place was rage oh okay that's not good I have to go to my my emergency bunker real quick I just hold on [Music] hello and welcome to the eyeball zone we cannot be escaped and your defenses are meaningless to we who see through eons left click TV is a news and media analysis channel focused on Indian politics and if you know anything about what's going on in India right now that probably sounds real heavy that probably sounds like a real bummer but I promise you these videos are fun to watch they're funny they're breezy they're easy to follow without knowing much about the political landscape of India beyond it being currently ruled by a literal genocide of fascist modeled in the style of the actual real-life Nazis hey did you know that Joe Biden's head of Muslim outreach has ties to Hindu nationalists Hindu nationalists who are explicitly genocide all against Muslims I didn't know that that seems like a thing I a person who spends an inordinate amount of time reading criticism of Joe Biden should know check out the link to left click TV in the description below this one comes with the heaviest possible recommendation it is a thought slime certified Pro click do you have a small project you'd like to see featured here in the eyeball zone send no more than one email to thought slime editor gmail.com with the word eyeball somewhere in the description and maybe you will find yourself trapped here in the eyeball zone while I was away a narrative had emerged a narrative that I had been bullied into deleting my video by those pesky wokes colds that this was another example of canceled culture run amok yet another innocent creator sacrificed at the altar of liberal identity politics some of them went so far as to celebrate finally thought slime the great big walk Lord was getting what was coming to him what goes around comes around buddy I tried to explain the situation more clearly that in fact nobody had bullied me into taking down my video that nobody not one single person had even asked me to take down the video I took it down because upon further consideration it wasn't something I was comfortable keeping up it did not meet my personal standards that ought to clear things up right but then the people making these claims huffed and puffed about how I was kicking the can down the road for other Creators how I set such a dangerous precedent I gave in to the online bullies made it less safe for everyone else and how weak and pathetic it was that I couldn't stand up for myself let me tell you something I don't give in to bullies I have a lot of faults as a person that isn't one of them I was bullied for my entire childhood I spent my teenage years dealing with my mother's abusive ex-boyfriend I know what it feels like to be bullied and it's not a feeling I will ever feel again I've been doxxed I've been threatened I've had dozens of people with platforms bigger than mine sick they're hostile communities on me if I were afraid of being bullied I wouldn't make youtube videos and let thousands of people leave anonymous comments I wouldn't leave my Twitter dm's open after people started sending me threats I wouldn't cry on camera about cartoons from the 80s giving me complex gender feelings because I'd be too afraid of what the bullies thought I shrug off bullies every day I am invincible to bullies what I did was I showed vulnerability that doesn't make me weak I'm strong enough to show off my vulnerabilities I have nothing to fear by showing off my vulnerabilities because none of the people who'd be shitty enough to use those vulnerabilities to hurt me are able to hurt me and I know that because they've all tried and failed it was so goddamn patronizing and the anger built over time I had been used I became a talking point to convince people of an attitude I find repellent people made up a story about me that suited them and none of them checked in with me to see if they had their facts right to see if what they were saying was based in reality deliberately I must imagine because it wouldn't have been hard to ask it wouldn't have been hard to check in and say hey bud what happened the only reason not to do that but still talk about it to still use my experience as a talking point the only reason to get angry when I clarified that they were mistaken it seems to me is to be deceptive seems to me like you don't want me involved in the story you're trying to build because you know I'm not going to agree with you to get mad when I tell you that you're actually wrong about the claims you're making seems to suggest that you want to build a narrative where there isn't one at least now one that you wanted so I was really angry but at the same time I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders you know I've been really struggling with motivation for a while when I started making YouTube videos I felt very energized by the online left I felt like I finally got to speak to people who could explain a lot of the problems I had in my life I felt perhaps naively that there was a strong sense of community and camaraderie nowadays when I see someone online who shares my political beliefs I'm hesitant to talk to them because what if they just hate my guts what if they don't want to hear from me what if they view me specifically as the problem with the world what if I've done something or said something or what if someone else has said I've done something or said something that means they don't want to hear from me I feel a lot of the time like I'm walking on eggshells and it's kind of ironic because the people who make me feel that way constantly are the ones who never shut up about the climate of fear and oppression that wokes Gould's like me breed the ones who want to be able to say awful without fear of criticism the edgy class reductionists the wannabe dirtbag leftists the ones who used slurs ironically because it'll help bring in people from the alt-right those people are the most sensitive fragile and belligerent critics on earth anything which contravenes their worldview is subject to the most intense bile worse than they can bother to muster for out-and-out neo-nazis I have felt so stifled by these people for a very long time now and I didn't realize the toll that was taking on me how alienated and isolating it was I told myself it was because I was just afraid of conflict and that's a convenient narrative for someone like me because it lets me frame myself as the bad party I'm just too much of a coward to speak up I thought I was afraid of reprisal I was afraid of being ostracized and that was part of it for sure but I realized there was a bit more to it than that we on the left tend to place a premium on avoiding sectarianism or factionalism it makes sense why traditionally this type of behaviour has led to a lot of problems for organizers it kept us from uniting on one unified front to achieve our shared ambition but that unwillingness to be sectarian can be exploited as well you know as well as I do that radical spaces attract tanki's or NAS bowls or Eco fash and all sorts of other bad actors to try to weasel their way into our spaces those are very overt examples of how our uneasiness with sectarianism can be exploited those guys are obviously unambiguously harmful and their inclusion in our movement is obviously incongruous with our values most reasonable people can agree with that but it by no means has to be that extreme you can use it to dodge responsibility for or criticism of your personal actions by positioning them as an attack on a faction or tendency real or imagined likewise you can attribute criticism to some other group acting needlessly sectarian that shifts the discussion from talking about the thing you're being criticized for to talking about in US versus them team sport oh no no no the people who are criticizing me just hate anarchists they just hate bread tube they just hate dirtbags look pal if you're offended by me making a racist joke on stream which I should point out I only did ironically so there's not even a good reason to be mad the needing to move past this wokes gold versus dirtbag mentality we can't fight each other that's just what capital wants hey what I said we need to cleanse the streets of degenerates I thought that was an okay thing to say if you expect me to apologize for doing something I didn't even know was wrong at the time that's gatekeeping and on some level I think this rhetoric got to me they bamboozled me I certainly didn't want to be a gatekeeper I didn't want to be sectarian I didn't want to make people feel like they had to be perfect and know everything before they were allowed to just like be around so a lot of times I stayed quiet when I shouldn't have I stepped back when I saw people say or do things that I knew were wrong because I was afraid that if I spoke up if I criticized them I'd be contributing to a culture on the left of paranoia and uncharitable 'ti also I kind of didn't want to let these people become the story I didn't want to throw fuel on the fire of this narrative by inviting them to rebut me I didn't want my life to become an endless cycle of back-and-forth drama where bad actors can use my criticism of them to present themselves unfairly persecuted for not falling in lockstep with my values so I bit my tongue again and again and again when these people trolled me I ignored it when they insulted me I ignored it when they went on unhinged rants where they claimed that I personally was what was wrong with the modern left I ignored it when they claimed I was lying about being non-binary to gain some sort of cachet or clout I ignored it when they jokingly said that their lives would be a lot easier if there was a final solution for people like me I ignored it when other people came to me asking how he felt about these people insulting me I'd tell them I'm not going to talk about it I'm not going to give them my attention and that's why it made me so angry when I was used as a prop in this story because I thought I had been biting my tongue for the sake of unity to avoid creating drama and here they were using me to do it anyway to drag me kicking and screaming into a discussion that I had avoided out of a misguided sense of solidarity and I just thought this I don't need this this isn't serving me I was making myself miserable trying to accommodate a contingent of people whose only goal in this world seems to be to say shitty stuff so that people will complain about that shitty stuff so they can complain about other people complaining about them and somehow they had me convinced that if I spoke up if I said hey I don't think you should say shitty stuff I think it is in fact bad to say shitty stuff I would be the one being divisive all of these angry babies who call me a liberal whenever I say that we should try to use inclusive language all of the irritating 4chan dropouts who owes their way into my men cheese if I use the term white privilege in a video to say lol imagine telling a homeless white guy that he is more privileged than Beyonce this is what happens when you don't incorporate class into your analysis all of the creeps who yell at me for being overweight because it means I won't be able to win fistfights in the revolution that they imagine I don't need these people I have nothing to prove to them and they're never gonna be happy with me because I'm never going to acquiesce to their demand that everyone treat them like unfairly maligned truth speakers being punished for having an open mind and it's like being let out of a cage I hadn't realized that I'd been gas into policing my behavior like this under the auspices of preventing people from having to police their behavior from now on I'm done trying to please these sensitive babies we think everyone that criticizes them is a sensitive baby I'm done being firm but polite about far-right entry ism into our spaces I'm done giving a about the people who think I'm not radical enough for not performing like their version of a radical the people who think liberalism is anything in politics that they personally find embarrassing because that's all politics is to these chud's an exercise in feeling cooler than their opponent let him go off have fun kids if you think I apologized too easily for my shitty behavior you're wrong I didn't apologize quickly enough or often enough but I've been apologizing too easily for the shitty behavior of others and for that I am truly sorry hey thanks for watching my video go ahead and hit the dislike button if it gives you a sense of power if it makes you feel like you're owning me you can leave the comment calling me whatever slur you want nobody's going to see it because I will delete it but it might bother me for half a second so that could be a thing you do if you liked the video then there's a like button as well you can press that there's the patreon thing you know you know all about it you can catch me every 8 p.m. eastern standard time at twitch.tv slash thought slime you can also catch my videos about horror movies at youtube.com slash scaredy-cats TV I'm going to do my best not to check social media for the rest of the day you

Channel: undefined

Views: 112,765

Rating: 4.8747897 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: I6550iGZawQ

Length: 20min 45sec (1245 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 17 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Ralph_the_Dude]

Does anyone know if he is referring to specific individuals towards the end? He starts going off about a certain type of person but I can't see the attributes he discussed in my own experience in this sphere. I don't make videos and have a large following though so maybe I'm just not in a position to hear those voices.

[u/addisonshinedown]

Awesome. Solid apology and acknowledgement of Matt’s flaws when it comes to being criticized. Not to mention bringing up a word that I have carelessly used and giving me an opportunity to grow.

[u/daren5393]

Does anybody actually have the removed video? Kinda feels like I'm missing part of the discussion

[u/Glorfon]

This was great. It was also surprising that they were able to make apologizing seem like a bold stance.

[u/goldistress]

Who exactly is he upset at in this video? He seems to jump back and forth from conservatives to edgy leftists so often that I wonder if he's trying to purposefully connect the two? But it just comes off sloppy.

I was picturing vaush based on a few key phrases. I completely missed this 'scandal' and I don't recall anyone I follow trying to dogpile or even bringing it up.

Personal take on this. Until we have a heavily educated population who understands the nuance of language, it is valid to lower yourself when engaging with the other side. Conservatives in general are in a state where they think racism is funny, not that they hate anyone but you know, funny is funny. Like literally most of America are dumb chuckleheads. It should be an entire field of study on its own how to engage with young people on the edge of radicalizing left or right. I don't I think that "some words are bad" fully takes into account the reality of our needs.

Literally everything exists on a sliding scale in this world so I feel hesitant to take a binary stance on saying words, good or bad. I would love to hear a convincing argument on this.

I would also really love to hear a convincing argument on why it's the dirtbag Left's fault he got defensive about using the word 'lunacy'? Pleeaase draw that straight line for me.

[u/catcaste]

Have a crumb of context.. This tweet and the responses are vaguely referenced in the video.

[u/Mentioned_Videos]

Other videos in this thread:

Watch Playlist ▶

VIDEO	COMMENT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJW4-cOZt8A	+31 - Would that include Natalie's use of the "lizard people" in her capitalism video?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jc2HrvmBOH4	+2 - Ever since his first video I had some questions about this situation that I’ve never fully had answered. In the excellent first video, there’s a tiny amount of information about how Garfield Eats is structured and I think it could be extremely seriou...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKIwMVh6Mpc	+1 - Lunatic and its derivatives are still used. Murderers are often called lunatics. Here's some garbage youtube video with 1.5mil views that uses it in poor context. Sent to the loony bin. Crazy as a loon. There's a duck named a loon because it str...

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