Learn English through story ★ Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier

chapter one i meet maxim de winter what would i be today if i had not gone to monte carlo with mrs van hopper i would have lived another life i would have become a different person mrs van hopper was not a pleasant woman she loved to meet people who were rich and famous every summer mrs van hopper stayed at the hotel cote d'azur the biggest and most expensive hotel in monte carlo here mrs van hopper found out which well-known people were staying in the town she always found an excuse to speak to them then pretending to know them well she asked her victims rude questions in her loud american voice i was young and shy i hated my life with mrs van hopper but she paid me a little money to be her companion i was not exactly a servant and certainly not a friend we must have looked a strange pair as we walked into the hotel restaurant that day mrs van hopper walked in front of me and her high-heeled shoes her fat heavy body swayed above her short fat legs i followed slowly my eyes looking down at the floor with my straight hair and badly fitting clothes i looked like an awkward schoolgirl mrs van hopper sat down at her usual table and stared at everyone in the restaurant there isn't one well-known person here she said in her loud voice there's no one i want to talk to mrs van hopper was very greedy she ordered a large lunch for herself soon she was eating a large plate full of spaghetti we ate in silence the rich sauce ran down mrs van hopper's chin i looked away then i saw that a new guest was sitting down at the next table mrs van hopper saw him too she put down her fork and stared at him hard i saw an excited look come into her small eyes it's maxed de winter she said to me the man who owns manderley you must have heard of it a beautiful old house in the west of england he looks ill doesn't he his wife died suddenly last year they say he's broken-hearted i felt sorry for the winter already he was mrs van hopper's next victim she finished her meal as quickly as possible i knew what she was going to do there was a long seat in the hotel lounge with a low table in front of it the seat was between the restaurant and the main door of the hotel everyone who left the restaurant had to walk past this seat i'll take my coffee in the lounge mrs van hopper told the waiter straight away she turned to me her eyes shining go upstairs and find the letter from my nephew billy bring it to me in the lounge and the photographs too billy met max to winter in london be quick i went up to mrs van hoppe's rooms as slowly as i could i hoped that de winter would get away before i returned when i came back with the letter mrs van hopper was already on the seat in the lounge de winter was sitting next to her he was a dark-haired handsome man his face was pale and his dark eyes had a sad lost look the winter stood up politely as i gave mrs van hopper her letter mr dewinter is having coffee with us go and ask the waiter for another cup mrs van hopper told me no you are my guests said to winter he called the waiter in a moment the winter was sitting on a small chair and i was next to mrs van hopper on the long seat i recognized you at once mrs van hopper said i met you at my nephew's party in london but i don't suppose you remember an old woman like me and mrs van hopper gave to winter one of her biggest smiles you are wrong i could never forget you said to winter in a cold hard voice billy's on holiday now mrs van hopper went on he loves traveling but if he had a home like mandalay he would never leave it if people say that manderlay is one of the most beautiful houses in england i wonder what you're doing here in monte carlo for a few moments there was silence then the winter spoke mandalay was looking very lovely when i came away there was another silence de winter had not answered mrs van hopper's question she was not silent for long of course she started to tell de winter all the unpleasant gossip of monte carlo after his moment of rudeness the winter listened to her politely i looked down at the floor and tried not to hear mrs van hopper's loud voice at last she had to stop a waiter came up to her with a message mrs van hopper's dressmaker was waiting for her upstairs the winter stood up at once you mustn't keep your dressmaker waiting he said mrs van hopper smiled you must have a drink with me she said why not tomorrow evening i'm having a few friends i'm sorry dewinter said quickly i shall be away all day tomorrow if you will excuse me he turned and walked out of the lounge what a strange man max dewinter is said mrs van hopper when we were standing in the lift he left so suddenly but he is certainly an attractive man by the way dear you are rather rude to him you must look at people when they're speaking you're not a child you know mrs van hopper was soon busy with her dressmaker i sat on a window seat looking at the bright day outside i could not go out some of mrs van hopper's friends were coming to tea they were fat rude women like herself my job was to talk to them light their cigarettes and tidy the room after they had gone there was a knock on the door a waiter came in with a note in his hand madame is in the bedroom i told him but the note was for me there were a few words in an unknown handwriting forgive me i was very rude after lunch the note was not signed but i knew it was from the winter is there an answer the waiter asked me i looked up no no answer i said after the wait had gone i put the note in my pocket mrs van hopper called me from her bedroom i got up slowly thinking about de winter and about [Music] mandalay chapter 2 a day out together the following day mrs van hopper woke up with a sore throat and a high temperature i rang up her doctor and he came round at once you have flu madame the doctor told her you won't get better unless you stay quietly in bed your heart isn't strong you'll need a nurse to look after you you must stay in bed for a week or two i'm sure i could look after mrs van hopper i said but the doctor said no to my surprise mrs van hopper agreed with him monte carlo had begun to bore her she would enjoy staying in bed she would enjoy giving orders to the nurse as well as to me the nurse soon arrived and i was no longer wanted i went down to the restaurant by myself i was glad to be alone it was half an hour before our usual lunch time the restaurant was almost empty i went to our usual table then i saw that dewinter was already at his table it was too late for me to go back i sat down awkwardly trying not to look at him as i picked up the menu i knocked over the flowers on the table the water went all over the cloth and ran down onto my skirt the waiter was at the other end of the restaurant and saw nothing in a moment the winter was standing by my chair you can't sit here now he said he called to the waiter who came up at once lay another place at my table de winter said this lady is lunching with me oh no i said i couldn't why not he said i want you to have lunch with me i was going to ask you anyway come and sit down you needn't talk if you don't want to we ordered our food and sat for a time in a pleasant easy silence what's happened to your friend the winter asked me i told him about mrs van hopper's illness i'm sorry he said politely you got my note i suppose it's very kind of you to lunch with me after my rudeness you were not rude i said at least she did not think you were she is always so curious about anyone important important why does she think that i am important de winter asked i think it's because of mandalay i said he did not answer i felt that he did not want to talk about his home your friend is very different from you he said it last and she's much older than you too is she a relation mrs van hopper is not my friend i said i work for her i have to i need the money i have no family and there is nothing else i can do the winter asked me more questions about myself i forgot my shyness i told him about my father who had been a painter i talked about my mother and her great love for my father when my father had died very suddenly my mother had lived only a few weeks after him i suddenly realized that we had been sitting at the table for more than an hour i began to apologize but i've enjoyed this hour so much dewinter said we are alike in some ways we are both alone in the world i have a sister but that's all you forget i told him that you have a home and i have none an empty house even a very beautiful one can be lonely de winter said i thought for a moment that he was going to tell me about mandalay but instead he said well i suppose you have a holiday this afternoon what are you going to do i told him that i was going to do some sketching i wanted to draw some of the old houses in the nearby town the bus left at harpos too i'll drive you there in my car de winter said go upstairs and get your coat i got my things very quietly i did not want mrs van hopper to hear me i ran down the stairs holding my gloves in one hand i felt excited and grown up i did not feel shy with dewinter he enjoyed my company he had asked me to go out with him in his car we soon reached the place where i wanted to sketch but the wind was too strong it blew the paper away we got into the car again and drove on up the steep mountain road then suddenly the road came to an end the winter stopped the car at the very edge far below us lay the sea i felt cold and a little afraid do you know this place i said have you been here before de winter looked at me as though i were a stranger he was lost in the past there was a strange far away look on his face he looked like a man walking in his sleep it's getting late shall we go home i said then he looked at me and smiled i'm sorry he said i should not have brought you up here yes i have been here before many years ago those years seemed to stretch between us for the first time i wished that i had not come to winter turn the car carefully and we drove down the twisting road again the sun was setting now and the air was cold and clear then at last he began to talk about mandalay he did not talk about his life there but about the house itself he told me about the gardens and the flowers in the woods he told me about the sea it was so near that the sound of its waters could always be heard from the house he told me about a little secret valley close to the sea this little valley hidden away from the world was full of the center flowers then we were back in monte carlo we drove slowly through the brightly lit streets towards the hotel i took my gloves from the shelf of the car there was a book there i looked at it trying to read the title you can take the book and look at it if you like de winter said i was glad and i held the book tightly in my hand i wanted to have something of his now that our day was over out you get he said i must put the car away i won't see you tonight i should be out but thank you for today i walked slowly up the hotel steps i felt like a child going home after a party i thought of the long hours to bedtime i could not meet mrs van hopper and answer the endless questions i went into the lounge and ordered tea the waiter brought me tea that was nearly cold the sandwiches were dry but i ate them without thinking in my mind i was with max to winter at mandalay if he loved his home so much why had he left it i picked up the book he had given me it was a book of poems on the front page there was some writing hard clear writing in black ink max from rebecca 17th of may the name rebecca stood out black and strong the r was tall much bigger than the other letters i shut the book quickly i remembered what mrs van hopper had told me about dewinter's wife it was dreadful she had said her death was in all the newspapers they say he never talks about it never says her name rebecca was drowned you know in the sea near mandalay i stood up slowly the book in my hand i walked unhappily to the lift and back to mrs van hopper chapter 3 in love i was 21 and winter was the first man i had ever loved first love is not always happy it can sometimes be like a terrible illness mrs van hopper had been in bed for about 10 days she was bored now and more bad tempered than usual she asked me what i'd been doing you haven't got enough to do and so you're doing nothing she said unpleasantly you never have any drawings to show me when i ask you to do some shopping you always forget something you're getting lazy without me to watch you i did not reply i could not tell mrs van hopper that every morning i drove with de winter in his car every day i had lunch with him at his table i have forgotten the places we went to but i have not forgotten the excitement of those mornings i remember how i ran down the stairs because the lift was too slow he was always waiting in his car reading the paper when he saw me he would smile and say well how is the companion this morning where would you like to go if we had driven round in circles i would not have cared i was happy to sit next to him to be alone with him but the time always went too quickly there was a clock in the car i could not help looking at it as we drove along if only we could keep our memories like scent in a bottle i said one day and then we could open the bottle when we wanted to remember the moment again and what moment would you like to keep the winter said with a smile i'm not sure i began then i said quickly i'd like to keep this moment and never forget it the winter laughed i suddenly felt very young and very silly i wish i said angrily i wish i was a woman of about 36 i wish i was wearing a lot of makeup and had expensive clothes you would not be in this car now if you were like that he said why do you ask me to come out in your car day after day i said i'm young i know nothing i'm not an interesting person at all you know all about me now i've told you everything but i know nothing about you nothing except that you live at mandalay and and that your wife is dead i had said the words at last your wife your wife he would never forgive me i shall never drive with him again i thought he slowed down the car and we stopped by the side of the road then he turned to me and spoke a little while ago you said you wanted to keep your memories for me it is different all my memories are unhappy i want to forget them something happened a year ago that changed my whole life i want to forget everything that happened to me before that time that's why i came to monte carlo if you had not been here i would have left long ago i ask you to drive with me because i like you i enjoy your company if you don't believe me you can get out of the car now i sat very still i could not speak i could feel the tears coming into my eyes i want to go home now i said without a word he started the car and we drove on the tears began to run down my cheeks suddenly the winter took my hand and kissed it then he gave me his handkerchief i wiped my red eyes i had never felt more alone to hell with this he said and put his arm around my shoulders you are so young i don't know how to speak to you forget everything i told you let's start again my family always call me maxim i'd like you to call me that too i smiled then and he laughed back at me the morning was happy again the afternoon with mrs van hopper did not matter i could look forward to tomorrow morning and the morning after i could call him maxim he had kissed me i had to play cards with mrs van hopper that afternoon but i was still happy when we had finished our game mrs van hopper said tell me is max the winter still in the hotel yes yes i think so he comes into the restaurant sometimes i said someone has told her i thought someone has seen us together i waited for her to ask more questions but she did not he's an attractive man she said but not easy to know i never saw his wife people say she was very lovely she was clever too and always beautifully dressed of course her death was very sudden everyone says he adored her i did not answer i was thinking about rebecca beautiful and clever people could not forget her somehow she and her beauty had not died in my bedroom was a book that rebecca had held in her hands his family called him maxim rebecca had called him max i thought of the writing on that page it was bold and full of life rebecca was all the things that i would never be i thought of all the letters rebecca had written to her husband they must have been full of the life they had shared i thought i could hear her voice calling him she called him max it was her special name for him and i had to call him maxim chapter 4 i leave monte carlo two days later everything had changed mrs van hopper and i were ready to leave monte carlo all the trunks and bags were packed all the drawers and cupboards were empty mrs van hopper had read a letter from her daughter at breakfast helen is sailing for new york on saturday her child's ill we're going to i'm tired of living here how would you like to see new york the thought of leaving monte carlo and maxim to winter was a terrible one my unhappiness must have shown on my face what a strange child you are mrs van hopper said i can't understand you i thought you didn't like monte carlo i've got used to it i said well you'll have to get used to new york that's all we're going on the same boat as helen you'll have to arrange everything at once go down to the hotel office now you'll be too busy to feel unhappy she laughed unpleasantly at my sad face she walked over to the telephone she wanted to tell everyone that she was leaving i went into the bathroom and locked the door i wanted to be alone for a few minutes my happiness was at an end by tomorrow evening i should be on the train the train would carry me away from maxim mile by mile he would be sitting in the restaurant reading perhaps and not thinking of me where would i say goodbye to him in the lounge with mrs van hopper standing near i was going and everything was over we would say goodbye like two strangers mrs van hopper knocked on the bathroom door what are you doing in there she said there's no time to dream this morning there's too much to be done i washed my face with cold water and came out of the bathroom at once i spent the rest of the day packing and arranging the journey in the evening mrs van hoppe's friends came to say goodbye we had dinner upstairs and mrs van hopper went to bed early i had not seen maxim all day i went down to the lounge at half past nine a waiter saw me he knew who i was looking for of course mr the winter is out this evening he told me he will not be back before midnight i walked slowly back up the stairs tomorrow would be too late i should not be able to speak to him at all that night i cried my pillow was wet with tears in the morning my eyes were red and swollen you haven't got a cold have you said mrs van hopper when she saw my face no i said i don't think so i tried not to look at her i hate waiting around when everything is packed mrs van hopper said bad temperedly we ought to have gone on the earlier train she looked at her watch i think we could still catch it go down to the reception desk and ask hurry up so my last morning was to be taken away from me i would not see maxim suddenly i made up my mind instead of going down to the reception desk i ran up the stairs i knew the number of his room i knocked on the door come in maxim shouted i opened the door he was having breakfast at a small table in his sitting room i stood by the door feeling silly and awkward what do you want he said is something wrong i've come to say goodbye i said we're going this morning in about an hour i thought i would not see you again maxim stared at me why didn't you tell me about this before he said mrs van hopper only decided to leave yesterday her daughter sails for new york on saturday and we're going with her i don't want to go i'll hate new york why go there then i have to i work for her you know that i can't afford to leave her sit down he said have some coffee i haven't time i told him i should be downstairs now never mind about that i've got to talk to you i sat down at the table so mrs van hopper wants to go home said maxim and so do i she goes to new york and i go to mandalay which do you prefer you can take your choice please don't joke about it i said i must say goodbye now now i'm not joking said maxim either you go to america with mrs van hopper or you come home to mandalay with me do you want a secretary i asked not understanding him no i'm asking you to marry me you little fool i sat with my hands in my lap watching him drink his coffee you can't marry me i said it last i'm different from you i don't belong to your kind of world i don't belong to a place like mandalay what do you know about mandalay maxim said i want you to marry me are you going to i sat there staring at him i could not think clearly the idea doesn't seem to please you maxim said i'm sorry i thought you loved me i do love you i said i do i've been crying all night i thought i would never see you again when i said this maxim laughed and put his hand over mine one day i'll remind you of those words it's a bitter you have to grow up he said was maxim laughing at me was it all a joke he saw the look on my face i haven't done this very well have i maxim said men don't usually propose at breakfast but i'll take you to venice for our honeymoon we'll travel around italy for a time then in the spring we'll go back to mandalay i want to show you mandalay so much maxim wanted to show me mandalay suddenly i believed everything i would be maxim's wife we would walk in the gardens of mandalay together we would walk through that hidden valley to the sea mrs de winter i would be mrs dewinter am i going to tell mrs van hopper or are you said max him with a smile i had forgotten all about mrs van hopper you tell her i said she'll be so angry we got up from the table and walked out of the room together maxim took my hand i'm 42. he said that must seem very old to you oh no i said i don't like young men i was still afraid that maxim would change his mind we came to the door of mrs van hopper's rooms i think i'll talk to her alone maxim said i'll tell her we are getting married very soon we'll have a quiet wedding everything can be arranged in a few days of course i said i don't want a lot of fuss i opened the door is that you called mrs van hopper where have you been what have you been doing all this time i did not know whether to laugh or cry maxim walked towards the sitting room i'm afraid it's all my fault he said and then he shut the door i went into my bedroom and waited i wondered what maxim was saying to mrs van hopper was he saying i love her i want to marry her at once love maxim had not said anything to me about love he had said we would get married but he had not said that he loved me he had loved rebecca of course how could he love me after her i would be a companion for him someone to make him laugh perhaps the book of poems was beside me on the bed i opened it i read again max from rebecca she was dead but the writing still looked fresh and alive i took some scissors and cut the page out of the book i tore up the page i lit a match and set fire to the pieces the paper twisted blackened and turned to ashes the letter r was the last to be burnt then the flame destroyed it i washed my hands i felt better much better now as i stood there the door opened and maxim came in everything is all right he said she could not speak at first she was too surprised go in and talk to her i'm going downstairs to arrange about her train i don't want her to come to the wedding maxim was smiling but he said nothing about being happy he said nothing about love i walked slowly into mrs van hopper's bedroom she was standing by the window smoking a cigarette she turned round and looked at me carefully well she said you are more clever than i thought how did you do it i did not know what to say mrs van hopper was smiling but there was no kindness in her smile it was lucky for you that i was ill she said you certainly made the most of your time he tells me that he wants to marry you in a few days well i can't stop you he's much older than you you know he's only 42 i said i know what i'm doing mrs van hopper looked at me again with the same unpleasant smile i hope you do you won't find it easy to look after manderley you haven't any experience and you're too shy max to winter is very attractive of course but i think you're making a big mistake i did not say anything i was young and shy i knew that but i was going to be mrs dewinter i was going to live at mandalay and i was going to make maxim happy mrs van hopper put out her cigarette she walked slowly towards me of course she said you know why he's marrying you don't you he's not in love with you the truth is he's lonely by himself at mandalay he can't live in that empty house without rebecca he's marrying you because he can't go on living there alone chapter five i come to mandalay we came to mandalay early in may it was the best time of year before the heat of summer when we left london it was raining hard i remember maxim saying this is london rain the sun will be shining for you when we come to mandalay he was right long before we reached mandalay there was blue sky over our heads i was glad to see the sun i welcomed it as a sign of happiness feeling better said maxim looking at me i smiled at him and took his hand it was so easy for maxim he was going back to his own home but for me everything was new and strange i was going to mandalay for the first time and i was going there as the second wife of maxim de winter only two more miles said maxim at last can you see those trees and the hill in front of us mandalay is in the valley beyond those trees i tried to smile but suddenly i felt lonely and afraid i was like a child on her first day at school turning a corner we came to a crossroads and the beginning of a high wall here we are maxim said mandalay at last i could hear the excitement in his voice the road turned again on the left were two high iron gates and beside them a small lodge the gates were wide open for us people were looking out of the windows of the lodge they were looking at me i sat back in my seat i wanted to hide from their curious eyes you mustn't mind if people stare at you maxim said they are all very interested in you don't worry be yourself and everyone at mandalay will love you mrs danvers looks after the house she's been housekeeper here for years leave everything to her she may be rather strange at first but don't worry about that she will soon get used to you we were going along the drive now that led up to the house the drive turned and twisted like a snake the tall trees met over our heads only a little sunlight came through their thick branches everything was very quiet on and on we went then suddenly the trees came to an end the sun shone again beautiful high bushes covered with bright red flowers stood on either side of us we were not far from the house now the drive widened we turned the last corner and there was mandalay the old house was perfect it was built in a small hollow and its gray stones glowed in the sunlight smooth green lawns surrounded the house beyond the lawns were gardens and beyond the gardens the sea maxim drove up to the wide stone steps and stopped the car in front of them at the top of the steps a big door stood wide open i saw that the hall beyond was full of people i could see their faces all turned towards us i was suddenly shy and afraid again what's the matter i said who are all those people i'm sorry maxim said this must be mrs danvers idea everyone who works at mandalay is here don't look so frightened you won't have to say anything i'll do it all an old man with a kind face came down the steps well here we are frith said maxim everyone well yes thank you sir said frith we are all very glad to see you at home again we hope you're well and madame too of course yes we are both well thank you frith but we're tired from the drive and we want our tea i didn't expect all these people mrs danvers orders sir said frith i thought so maxim said come on he said to me it won't take long and then you can have your tea in peace we went together up the wide stone steps inside the open door the servant stood in two lines a tall thin woman dressed in black came towards us her pale thin face was hard there was no welcome in her dark eyes the hand she placed in mine was cold and heavy like something dead this is mrs danvers our housekeeper said maxim the woman began to speak in a cold lifeless voice i remember nothing of what she said i suppose she was welcoming me to mandalay as i thanked her mrs danvers looked at me with her hard dark eyes i dropped my gloves on the floor and mrs danvers picked them up with a twisted little smile on her lips she could see that i was awkward and shy and a little afraid of my new life at mandalay maxim noticed nothing he thanked mrs danvers quickly and took me into the library for tea we were alone at last a dog ran up from the fireside to greet us he went first to maxim and then sat down beside me i was glad of the dog's friendly welcome the library was a large comfortable room its walls were covered with books from the floor to the ceiling comfortable chairs stood on either side of a great open fireplace from its long windows i could see the lawns and beyond the lawns the sea there was a quiet piece in the room it was a place for rest for reading and for quiet thinking tea was brought to us by frith and a younger servant there was a special table and a snow white cloth to cover it the teapot and kettle were of silver and the china was very fine there were sandwiches bread and butter and several kinds of cake there was far too much food for two people but this was the tea served at mandalay every day maxim sat in a chair by the fire reading the letters that had been waiting for him now and again he looked up at me and smiled i lent back in my chair drinking my tea and trying to feel at home it was true mandalay was my home now my home and maxim's but somehow i still could not believe it my thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door it was frith excuse me madam he said mrs danvers asked if he would like to see your room maxim looked up from his letters what do the rooms in the east wing look like now he said very nice indeed sir frith replied i think you will be very comfortable there have you been making changes i asked oh nothing much said maxim they've been getting the rooms in the east wing ready for us there is a lovely view of the rose garden from there you go and make friends with mrs danvers i'll come up later i got up slowly and went out with frith into the hall i did not want to be alone with mrs danvers the hall seemed very big and my footsteps sounded very loud on the stone floor mrs danvers was standing at the top of the wide flight of stairs her dark eyes watched me as i walked slowly up the stairs towards her i hope i haven't kept you waiting i said it is my duty to wait for you madam mrs damper said i am here to carry out your orders she led me along a wide passage we passed through doors and up and down wide stairs at last mrs danvers opened a door leading into a small room this room led into a large light bedroom with wide windows i went at once to a window and looked out the rose garden lay below me beyond the rose garden the smooth grass stretched to the woods you can't see the sea from here i said turning to mrs tambers no not from this wing she answered and you can't hear it either you would never know the sea was so near mrs danvers spoke in a strange way as though this was somehow important to her i'm sorry about that i like the sea i said but this is a very charming room i'm sure i should be comfortable here mr dewinter gave very careful orders in his letter about this room the rooms here have been specially arranged for you then this was not his bedroom before oh no madam he has never used this room there was silence i did not know what to say i wished mrs danvers would go away i suppose you have been at mandalay for many years i said yes madam i came here when the first mrs dewinter was a bride her voice was suddenly harsh there was some colour in her pale face now and for a moment i saw a look of hatred in her eyes mrs danvers i heard myself saying i hope we should be friends this sort of life is new to me i do want to make mr winter happy i know i can leave the housekeeping to you i shan't want to make any changes very well she said i hope you will be satisfied i have been looking after the house for the past year when the late mrs dewinter was alive there were lots of parties and visitors of course she liked to look after everything herself i would rather leave it to you mrs danvers i said and i'm sure we'll be very comfortable in these rooms mr de winter said you would rather be on this side of the house they used the rooms in the west wing when mrs dewinter was alive the windows there looked down to the sea there was a sound outside the door and mrs danvers stopped talking maxim came into the room well what do you think maxim said to me i hope you like the rooms i think you've done very well mrs danvers thank you sir she said then she turned and went quietly out of the room maxim walked to the window i love the rose garden he said there's something very quiet and peaceful about this room how did you get on with mrs danvers she's a strange woman in many ways i think that some of the young servants are afraid of her i expect he'll get on well when she knows me better i said she may not like me at first of course not like you why shouldn't she like you said maxim and he came across the room and kissed me gently let's forget about mrs danvers he said come along and i'll show you mandalay i felt happier as i walked through the house with maxim we looked at the pictures in the long gallery and at most of the rooms downstairs maxim put his arm round my shoulder i began to feel that mandalay really was my home after dinner we sat in the library the curtains were drawn and more logs put on the fire it was new for us to sit together quietly like this in italy we had walked about in the evenings or gone for a drive maxim sat in the chair to the left of the fireplace he picked up the paper he put a cushion behind his head and lit a cigarette this is what he always did i thought this is what he did before he knew me it is what he has done every evening for years maxim did not look at me he went on reading his paper he was comfortable the master of his house i poured myself another cup of coffee i bent down to the dog and stroked its soft ears suddenly i shivered as though a door had opened behind me someone else had sat in my chair someone else had poured coffee and stroked the dog i was sitting in rebecca's chair i was leaning against rebecca's cushion the dog jasper came to me because in the past he had come to rebecca chapter six in the morning room life at mandalay was very carefully planned the same things happened at the same time every day i remember our first morning there very clearly i had slept well and came downstairs a little after nine o'clock to my surprise i found that maxim had nearly finished his breakfast maxim looked up at me and smiled i always get up early here he said looking after mandalay takes a lot of my time i work very hard but you don't have to help yourself to anything you want i remember the size of that breakfast it was the normal mandalay breakfast but far too much for two people as i took an egg and some coffee i wondered what happened to the food that was left would it be eaten or thrown away i would never know of course i would certainly be too afraid to ask my sister beatrice is coming over to lunch with her husband maxim told me she invited herself of course i suppose she wants to have a look at you they're coming today i said feeling less happy than before yes but she won't stay long i think you'll like beatrice she believes in telling the truth if she doesn't like you she'll tell you so maxim stood up and lit a cigarette i have so many things to do this morning why don't you go into the garden you don't mind being alone do you of course not i said i should be perfectly happy but i did not feel very happy as maxim walked out of the room i had thought we would spend our first morning at mandalay together i had thought that perhaps we would walk down to the sea or sit under the great tree on the lawn i finished my breakfast alone i left the dining room and went into the library the room was cold the fire was laid but not lit i looked around for a box of matches but i could not find one i went across the hall and into the dining room once more yes there was a box of matches on the table i picked it up at that moment frith came into the room oh frith i said awkwardly i could not find any matches i thought i would light the fire in the library it's rather cold in there the fire in the library is not usually lit until the afternoon madam he said mr winter always used the morning room before lunch there's a good fire in there of course i can give orders for the fire in the library to be lit oh no i said i'll go into the morning room thank you frith mrs dewinter always wrote her letters in the morning room after breakfast the house telephone is there too if you want to talk to mrs danvers thank you frith i said i went into the hall again i did not know which way to go i could not tell frith that i had never seen the morning room maxim had not shown it to me the night before you go through the drawing room to the morning room madam frith said watching me then turn to your left thank you frith i said i felt very stupid i found my way into the little morning room i was glad to see the dog jasper there sitting in front of the fire the morning room was quite small and very different from the library it was a woman's room graceful and charming someone had chosen everything in this room with the greatest care each chair each rug each small ornament had been put there to make the room perfect flowers filled the room glowing blood red flowers they were the same flowers we had seen in the drive a beautiful old writing desk stood near the window i went over and opened the desk carefully every drawer was labeled and everything was in order inside one of the drawers was a flat leather book guests at mandalay i opened the book the writing inside the book and the writing on the labels was the same i had seen that tall sloping writing before it was rebecca's writing this was rebecca's desk i sat down and opened the guest book every page was covered with the same writing i felt that rebecca would come back into the room at any moment the mistress of the house would come in and find me a stranger sitting at her desk suddenly the telephone on the desk began to ring my heart jumped i picked up the phone who is it i said who do you want mrs dewinter said a hard deep voice mr winter my hand was shaking i'm afraid you've made a mistake i said mr winter has been dead for over a year i suddenly realized what i had said it's mrs danvers madam said the voice i'm speaking to you on the house telephone i'm so sorry mrs timbers i said i didn't know what i was saying i did not expect the telephone to ring i wondered if you had seen the menus for the day you will find the list on the desk beside you i found the piece of paper and looked at it quickly yes mrs denver's yes very nice indeed i'm very sorry to have disturbed you madam you didn't disturb me at all thank you mrs danvers i said i put down the phone and looked at the desk i felt very stupid rebecca would not have answered like that i thought of rebecca sitting at that desk here she had chosen her guests and written letters to her friends who could i write to i knew nobody then i thought of mrs van hopper far away in new york i took a piece of paper and a pen dear mrs van hopper i began as i wrote i noticed my own handwriting for the first time how weak and childish it was it was like the writing of a school girl chapter 7 you are so very different when i heard the sound of a car in the drive i stood up in sudden fear beatrice and her husband had arrived they were earlier than i expected and maxim had not come back i could not meet them by myself i ran quickly out of the morning room i took a door to the left i was in a stone corridor a servant stared at me in surprise i hurried up some stairs hoping that i could find my way to my bedroom in the east wing i could stay there until maxim came back somehow i lost my way but i went on and came to a wide staircase i went up it all was quiet and dark i was in a corridor with doors on either side i walked on and at last i came to a long window i looked out below me i could see green lawns and the sea the sea was bright green with white topped waves it was closer than i thought much closer i knew then that i had walked right round the house i was standing in the corridor of the west wing yes mrs danvers was right you could hear the sea from here i was glad that my rooms were in the east wing i loved the quiet beauty of the rose garden the sea was too near here as i turned to go back to the stairs i heard a door open behind me mrs danvers stood there we stared at one another for a moment without speaking i lost my way i said i was trying to find my room this is the west wing she said did you go into any of the rooms if you wish to see them please tell me i could show them to you now i shook my head no no thank you i said i must go downstairs as i began to walk towards the stairs mrs danvers followed me if you want to see the rooms in the west wing i can show them to you at any time it's very kind of you mrs danvers i said i will let you know mrs danvers walked beside me major and mrs lacey have been here some time she said didn't you hear their car frith took them to the morning room i think you know your way now don't you yes mrs danvers i said i knew then that she had been watching me laughing at my fear as i went into the drawing room i looked back mrs danvers was still watching me from the top of the stairs i could hear the sound of voices from the morning room i stood for a moment and then walked in here she is at last maxim said where have you been hiding here's beatrice and this is giles and this is frank crawley our agent beatrice was tall broad-shouldered and very much like maxim she shook hands with me and said to maxim she's quite different from what i expected not like your description at all everyone laughed but they seemed friendly giles was a big heavy man his eyes smiled at me from behind his thick glasses frank crawley was a thin man with a pleasant worried face maxim had told me how hard frank crawley worked for mandalay the men began to talk together and i had to answer beatrice's questions what do you think of mandalay she asked me i haven't seen much of it yet i said the house is beautiful of course i haven't seen the gardens but i'm sure i shall never get tired of them i love walking i can swim too when the weather is warmer my dear the water is always far too cold here said beatrice i don't mind that i love swimming is it safe to swim in the bays everyone stopped talking i realized what i had said rebecca had been drowned in the bay i could not look at maxim i bent down to stroke the dog's head then thank god frith came in to say that lunch was ready beatrice walked with me through the hall you know she said you're much younger than i expected tell me do you love maxim very much beatrice looked at my surprised face and laughed don't answer she said i can see that you do maxim looks very well we were all very worried about him last year but of course you know the whole story but beatrice was wrong i did not know what had happened down in the bay maxim had told me nothing i had never asked him about rebecca's death beatrice talked to maxim all through lunch frank crawley told me a lot about mandalay i could see that he loved it as much as maxim did when lunch was over i could see that maxim was tired i wished we hadn't had visitors so soon i took beatrice out onto the terrace she asked me how i had met maxim i told her about mrs van hopper and how surprised she had been it was rather a shock to us too beatrice said maxim said in his letter that you were very young and pretty we expected a very modern sort of girl beatrice laughed and i laughed with her poor maxim he had a terrible time beatrice said let's hope you have made him forget all about it he loves mandalay so much but you never know what he's thinking how do you get on with mrs danvers i was surprised by beatrice's question she frightens me a little i said she may try to make things unpleasant for you beatrice went on she's very jealous of course she must hate you being here why i asked why must she hate me being at mandalay my dear child beatrice answered slowly i thought maxim had told you mrs danvers adored rebecca she still does at that moment the men came out of the house a servant brought rugs and chairs and we all sat under the great tree on the lawn i hoped everyone would go soon i wanted to be alone with maxim i was sitting on a rug leaning against maxim's chair i listened to the others talking the afternoon was sleepy and peaceful everything was quiet and still even the sea seemed far away this is what i wanted i thought this is how i thought life at mandalay would be this moment was safe it could not be touched here we sat together maxim and i hand in hand the past and the future did not matter at all at this moment i was not afraid the moment passed beatrice stood up we must be going she said we've got people coming to dinner we all got up and giles looked up at the sky i'm afraid we're going to have some rain he said we all walked slowly back to the drive beatrice took my hand then she bent down and kissed me forgive me if i've asked you a lot of rude questions my dear as i said before you're not what we expected you're so very different from rebecca as we reached the car the sun went behind a cloud and a little rain began to fall maxim and i watched the car drive away we turned and walked back into the house chapter 8 the happy valley as we stood in the hall maxim put his arm around my shoulders thank god that's over he said get a coat quickly and let's go out never mind the rain i want to walk maxim looked white and ill had beatrice said something to make him angry i could not remember just a moment i said i'll get my coat from upstairs there are plenty of raincoats downstairs maxim said robert will you fetch a coat for mrs dewinter maxim was standing in the drive now calling to jasper come on you lazy little fellow you're too fat jasper ran round in circles barking loudly the young servant robert ran out of the hall carrying a raincoat i put it on quickly it was too big of course and too long but maxim was waiting impatiently and there was no time to change the coat we set off together across the lawns to the woods jasper ran on in front i soon get tired of my family maxim said beatrice is very kind-hearted but she always says the wrong thing i was not sure what beatrice had said and i thought it better not to ask what did you think of beatrice maxim asked me what did she talk to you about after lunch i think i did most of the talking i said i was telling her about how we met she said i was quite different from what she expected what on earth did she expect someone much smarter i think a modern young woman maxim did not answer he bent down and threw a stick for jasper to run after we climbed the grass bank above the lawns and walked down into the woods the trees grew very close together over our heads and it was very dark we walked on last year's leaves the green shoots of flowers were beginning to show through jasper was silent now with his nose to the ground we came to a clearing in the woods there were two paths going in opposite directions jasper ran on ahead and took the right-hand path without waiting for us not that way called maxim come on old boy the dog looked back at us he stood there wagging his tail why does he want to go that way i asked i suppose he's used to it maxim said quickly it leads to a small bay where we used to keep a boat come on jasper boy this way we turned onto the left hand path not saying anything i looked over my shoulder and saw that jasper was following us this path brings us to the valley i told you about maxim told me you can smell the flowers already never mind the rain it will bring out the scent maxim seemed alright again now happy and cheerful he began talking about frank crawley he told me what a good agent he was and how he loved mandalay i held maxim's arm and looked up into his face talking about mandalay always made maxim happy again we had reached the top of a small hill the path ran down into a little valley by the side of a stream there said maxim look at that there were no dark trees in this valley no thick bushes on either side of the narrow path stood high graceful bushes covered with flowers the flowers were pink white and gold they were things of beauty and grace the soft summer rain fell and the air was full of a sweet scent there was no sound except for the noise of a little stream and the quiet rain on the leaves when maxim spoke his voice was gentle and low we call it the happy valley he said we stood still not speaking i looked down at the clear white flowers maxim picked up a fallen flower and gave it to me as i rubbed it between my hands the scent was sweet and strong a bird began to sing a high clear sound other birds began to sing too i had never been in so beautiful a place as we walked along the path drops of rain fell on my hands and face i held maxim's hand the happy valley was the heart of mandalay the mandalay i would soon know and love chapter nine the cottage in the bay we came to the end of the path the bushes made an arch over our heads so that we had to bend down i stood straight again brushing the rain from my head i saw that the valley was behind us we were standing in a little narrow bay there almost at our feet was the sea maxim looked down at me smiling at the surprise on my face it is a surprise isn't it he said no one ever expects it maxim picked up a stone and threw it across the beach for jasper fetch it good boy he said jasper ran after the stone barking with excitement we both went down to the water's edge and threw more stones the tide was coming up into the bay and the water was beginning to cover the stones maxim turned to me laughing and wiping the hair out of his eyes i rolled up the long sleeves of the raincoat it was a happy moment then we saw that jasper had gone we called and whistled but he did not come has he gone back to the happy valley i asked he was by that rock a minute ago said maxim we walked up the beach towards the valley again jasper jasper called maxim in the distance beyond a line of rocks to the right of the beach i heard a sharp bark do you hear that he's gone over this way i began to climb up the wet rocks come back maxim said sharply we don't want to go that way i must get him i said he may be hurt he's all right said maxim leave him he knows the way home i began climbing over the rocks towards jasper i thought maxim was being very unkind i got to the top of the largest rock and looked beyond it there was another bay a small stone wall across the bay made it into a small harbour in the bay was a green and white boy but no boat the woods came right down to the shore at the edge of the woods was a low stone building a cottage or a boathouse there was a man standing on the shore dressed like a fisherman jasper was barking at him and running round and round the man took no notice of the dog jasper i shouted jasper come here the dog looked up but he did not come to me i looked back but i could not see maxim i climbed down into the bay and the man looked at me for the first time there was something strange about him he had small stupid looking eyes his face was fat and round and he had thick red lips bad weather isn't it the man said with a stupid smile it's not very nice weather i said come on jesper we must go home now but jasper ran away barking have you got any string i asked the man i want something to tie the dog he won't follow me i know that dog it's not yours it comes from the house he's mr de winter's dog i said kindly i must take him back the man said nothing but stared at me in the same stupid way i walked up the shore to the cottage perhaps there was some string there the grass ran the little house had grown very long the windows had pieces of wood over them i pushed at the door to my surprise it opened and i went inside the room was furnished and there were books on the shelves but everything was covered with thick dust the air was damp and still another door at the end of the room led into a small boat house i saw some string on a shelf and an old knife i cut a piece of string for jasper and went out of the cottage there was something frightening about that small dark room i was glad to be outside again the man was still watching me staring like a child jasper was quiet now and let me tie the string i saw you go in there the man said she doesn't go in there now she's gone in the sea she won't come back will she no i said she won't come back i didn't say anything did i the man's eyes were full of fear he turned away and walked back towards the sea maxim was waiting for me beside the rocks he looked angry i'm sorry i said i had to get some string for jasper who is that man that's ben he's a bit mad but he won't hurt you where did you get that string i found it in the cottage the door was open there's dust everywhere the place ought to be cleaned the door should be locked maxim said he was walking very fast now he went up past the cottage and onto the path through the woods it was very different here from the happy valley the path was steep and the trees were thick and dark it was cold now my legs ached jasper was tired too and walked very slowly come on jasper for god's sake said maxim angrily pull at that string can't you he said to me it's your fault i said you walk so fast if you had listened to me we would be home by now there was no need for you to go after jasper i thought you would come with me i answered why should i run after the damn dog maxim said not looking at me that's an excuse you didn't want to go over the rocks i answered all right i didn't i didn't want to go to the other bay i never go near the place or that damned cottage if you had my memories you would not go there either you wouldn't talk about it or even think about it maxim's face was white his eyes had a dark lost look i took his hand and held it tight please maxim please i said i don't want you to look like that i'm sorry darling please don't let us quarrel we should have stayed in italy maxim said i was a fool to bring you back to mandalay i had to run to keep up with him now at last we came to the top of the path and out onto the lawn maxim's face was hard he walked straight into the house and spoke to frith we want tea at once said maxim then he went quickly into the library and shut the door i tried to keep back my tears frith must not see them i turned away as he helped me off with the raincoat he picked up a handkerchief is this yours madam he said i put the handkerchief in my pocket and walked slowly across the hall to the library maxim was sitting in his usual chair with jasper at his feet i walked across the room and knelt down by maxim's chair don't be angry with me anymore i said maxim looked down at me i'm not angry with you he said but i've made you unhappy i replied i want you to be happy so much i love you do you he said his eyes were full of pain and fear what is it darling i said why do you look like that the door opened before maxim could answer it was frith and robert with the tea the small table was put near the fire and covered with the white cloth frith brought in the silver teapot and kettle then came the cups the sandwiches and cakes everything was the same as yesterday when the servants had gone i looked at maxim's face the color had come back into it he took a sandwich pour me a cup of tea darling he said to me and forgive me for being so unkind there was nothing more to say maxim smiled at me and picked up his paper maxim's smile was like a pat on the head given to jasper i was not hungry and i felt very tired i gave jasper a piece of cake and took out the handkerchief to wipe my hands the handkerchief was not mine it must have come from the raincoat pocket there were some letters in the corner at all r and dw it was rebecca's the raincoat too wide too long for me must have been hers too rebecca had worn that raincoat she had left the handkerchief in the pocket i could smell a scent a scent i knew i shut my eyes and tried to remember what it was suddenly i knew the scent on the handkerchief was the scent of the flowers in the happy valley was there nowhere i could escape from [Music] rebecca [Music] chapter 10 questions and answers the weather was wet and cold for over a week we did not go down to the beach again i could see the sea from the terrace and the lawns it looked cold and gray when i stood on the terrace i could hear the sound of great waves on the shore i began to understand why some people hated the low angry voice of the sea i was glad that our rooms were in the east wing if i could not sleep i went to the window and looked out onto the rose garden i was not troubled by the sea's unhappy music sometimes i thought about the cottage down in the bay there were so many questions i wanted to ask maxim i could not forget the lost look in maxim's eyes i could not forget his words i was a fool to bring you back to mandalay it was all my fault i had gone down into the bay i'd reminded maxim of the past we lived our lives together sleeping eating walking but every hour of the day the past made a wall between us i became nervous and afraid i did not want anyone to talk about the sea or boats when visitors came to mandalay i was shy and awkward i knew that they compared me with rebecca she had been charming interested in everyone i was dull and stupid like a schoolgirl one afternoon i was having tea alone when the wife of the bishop called she was a kind woman and tried hard to make me talk at last she said will your husband hold the mandalay fancy dress ball this year i remember the last one so well it was such a lovely sight i shall never forget it i smiled and said we have not decided there have been so many things to do i could not tell the woman that maxim had never spoken about the ball mandalay looked so beautiful the bishop's wife went on and there was dancing and music and flowers everywhere yes i said yes i must ask maxim about it we came to a garden party too one summer the bishop's wife went on it was a lovely day we all had tea in the rose garden it was such a clever idea of course she was a clever person she stopped her face rather red i heard myself saying rebecca must have been a wonderful person i had said her name at last rebecca i had said it aloud you never met her then the woman asked oh yes she was a lovely person so full of life everyone loved her she was so good at everything too i said clever beautiful and fond of sport rebecca was certainly beautiful my visitor went on i remember her on the night of the ball she had a cloud of dark hair her skin was very white and she had such a lovely dress she looked after everything in the house too i said i'm afraid i leave it all to the housekeeper oh well you are very young aren't you we can't all do everything i must go now do ask your husband to have another ball yes of course i will i sat in the library after my visitor had gone i thought about mandalay full of people in beautiful costumes dancing in the hall i thought of rebecca lively and beautiful arranging everything what must people think about me i suddenly sat up straight i did not mind i did not care i was mrs winter now not rebecca i decided that i would find out more about the fancy dress ball but i did not want to ask maxim later that afternoon frank crawley came up to the house i've been hearing about the fancy dress ball frank i said i did not know you had dances here frank did not reply at once then he said the mandalay ball was held every year people came from miles around they even came down from london it must have been a lot of work i said i suppose rebecca did most of it frank looked straight ahead we all helped he said will you ask maxim about the ball i asked it does seem a good idea frank did not answer me i went into that cottage in the bay a few days ago i said it's very dirty why doesn't someone do something about it maxim would tell me if he wanted anything done frank replied are they rebecca's things i asked yes frank said did rebecca use the cottage a lot yes she did she slept in the cottage sometimes she had moonlight picnics on the shore i noticed that frank always called rebecca she he never used her name why is there a boy in the bay i asked there's no boat there what happened to it was it the boat rebecca was sailing when she died yes said frank quietly it turned over and sank she was washed overboard and drowned the sea is sometimes very rough in the bay couldn't anyone have helped her i asked nobody saw the accident nobody knew she was sailing she often went out alone like that when did they find her i felt i must know everything now i had been thinking about that terrible night for so long they found her two months later the sea had carried her 40 miles up the coast maxim had to identify the body suddenly i was ashamed of all my questions frank i said i'm sorry i asked you all those questions but everything is so strange to be at mandalay and when i meet anyone new i know what they're thinking how different she is from rebecca mrs dewinter you mustn't think that said frank looking at me for the first time i am so glad you have married maxim it will make such a difference to his life and mandalay needs someone like you someone young fresh and charming but rebecca was so charming and clever people still remember her maxim will be very unhappy to hear you talking like this mrs dewinter forget the past as maxim has done none of us want to bring back the past your job here is to lead us away from it i was much happier now but i had to ask frank one more question tell me frank i said was rebecca very beautiful frank turned away from me so that i could not see his face yes he said slowly yes i suppose she was the most beautiful woman i ever saw in my life chapter 11 the china cupid i did not see very much of mrs danvers she sent the menus to the morning room every day she rang me every morning on the house telephone she had also found a maid for me called claris claris was new to mandalay and this was her first job her family lived near mandalay but she had never known rebecca to claris i was an important person because i was mrs dewinter mrs danvers was certainly an excellent housekeeper and i began to lose my fear of her sometimes i felt sorry for mrs danvers it must hurt her to call me mrs de winter when all the time she was thinking about rebecca frank had told me to forget the past i wanted to but frank did not sit in the morning room every day as i did he did not sit at rebecca's desk and touch the things she had touched dear god i did not want to think about rebecca i wanted to be happy i wanted maxim to be happy too but rebecca was always in my thoughts and dreams beatrice maxim's sister had promised to give me a wedding present she did not forget one day robert brought a large parcel into the morning room where i was sitting alone i cut the string excitedly and tore off the dark brown paper beatrice had sent me four big books about painting she knew that i enjoyed sketching and she had really tried to please me i was glad to have something at mandalay that belonged to me i looked round the room for somewhere to put the books i stood them in a row on top of the desk and looked at them but the books were far too heavy first one fell and then the others followed a little china ornament which always stood on the desk was knocked onto the floor the ornament broke into many pieces it was a beautiful little cupid and one of the loveliest things in the house i was suddenly very frightened i found an envelope in the drawer and carefully put the pieces of china into it then like a child i hid the envelope in the desk i decided to put my new books in the library and i said nothing about the cupid the following day after lunch frith brought our coffee to the library as usual instead of leaving he stood by maxim's chair could i speak to you sir he said maxim looked up from his paper yes frith what is it it's about robert sir he's very upset mrs danvers has accused him of taking a valuable ornament from the mourning room mrs danvers noticed it was missing late this morning she says that robert must have taken it or broken it robert says he knows nothing about it perhaps it was one of the maids said maxim i knew he hated any kind of trouble with the serpents no sir no one except robert has been in the room apart from madam of course mrs danvers doesn't let the maids clean the mourning room well mrs danvers had better come and see me what ornament was it the china cupid sir it stands on the desk oh dear said maxim that's very valuable it must be found i'll see mrs danvers at once very good sir said frith and quietly left the room darling i said to maxim when we were alone i meant to tell you before but i forgot i broke the cupid yesterday you broke it why didn't you say so when frith was here you'll have to explain to mrs danvers now oh no please maxim you tell her let me go upstairs don't be silly said maxim angrily anyone would think you were afraid of mrs danvers i am afraid of her at least not afraid but the door opened without a sound and mrs danvers came into the room i looked nervously at maxim his face was half amused half angry it's all a mistake mrs danvers maxim told her mrs dewinter broke the cupid herself she forgot to tell us i felt like a child again i'm so sorry i said i never thought robert would get into trouble is it possible to repair the cupid madam said mrs danvers she did not seem surprised i felt she had known the truth all the time i'm afraid not i said it's in hundreds of pieces what did you do with the pieces said maxim they are in an envelope in a drawer of the writing desk find the pieces mrs danvers try to get them mended in london i never thought that mrs dewinter had broken the ornament said mrs as she left the room i could see the scorn and hatred in her eyes i'm very sorry darling i said it was very silly and careless of me forget it said maxim but you do act strangely sometimes more like a servant than the mistress of mandalay even when we have visitors you sit on the edge of your chair and say only yes and no i can't help being shy i know you can't darling but you must learn to hide it i do try but i'm not used to this kind of life people look at me and ask me so many questions what does it matter they are interested in us that's all they can't find me very interesting i said i suppose that's why you married me you knew i was dull and quiet no one would ever gossip about me maxim threw his paper on the ground and got up from his chair his face was dark with anger and his voice was hard what do you know about any gossip down here he said who's been talking to you no one no one at all maxim stared at me perhaps i did a very selfish thing when i married you he said slowly i am so much older than you i felt cold and frightened age doesn't matter i said i'm happy you know i love you more than anything else in the world i love mandalay too i love everything here you're happy too darling aren't you maxim did not answer he stood staring out of the window if you don't think we're happy you must tell me i went on i don't want you to lie to me maxim took my face in his hands how can i answer you he said if you are happy then we are both happy he kissed me and walked across the room but you are disappointed in me you think i'm not right for mandalay if only i hadn't broken that cupid was it very valuable i think so maxim answered it was a wedding present rebecca knew a lot about china maxim went on staring straight in front of him he is thinking about rebecca i said to myself i have broken one of their wedding presents maxim went back to his chair and picked up his paper i sat on the long seat under the window after a time jasper came to me and climbed onto my [Music] lap chapter 12 in the west wing maxim had to go up to london at the end of june it was the first time that i had been left alone at mandalay i was sure that maxim would have a terrible accident or even be killed i was too worried to eat any lunch at about two o'clock robert brought me a message maxim had arrived safely in london after a good journey i felt happy again and also rather hungry i went back into the dining room and took an apple and some biscuits then i called jasper and we went together into the woods as i sat there i felt happier than i had ever been at mandalay i could not understand it i had not wanted maxim to go to london but now i was glad to be alone i walked through the happy valley to the bay the sea was very calm jasper ran up the rocks leading to the next bay not that way jasper i called the dog took no notice oh well it doesn't matter i thought maxim isn't here and i climbed over the rocks after jasper the tide was out and there was very little water in the bay the white and green boy was still there i could read the name on it now je a strange name for a boat i'll come back and that boat would never come back now i walked slowly across the beach to the cottage the sun was shining today and the cottage did not look frightening anymore i pushed open the door everything was exactly as before there was a sound in the boathouse and jasper ran up to the doorway barking angrily is anybody there i said i looked through the door and saw ben sitting by the wall he looked very frightened i think you should come out i said mr winter doesn't like people coming in here ben followed me out into the sunshine i'm not doing anything wrong he said you won't lock me up will you his whole body was shaking with fear and tears were rolling down his fat round face i didn't do anything i didn't tell anyone he said that's all right ben no one's going to hurt you but don't go into the cottage again ben smiled you're not like the other one he said she was tall and dark she had eyes like a snake she came here at night she saw me once looking at her you'll be locked up people will hurt you she said but you won't lock me up will you no of course not ben i said ben smiled again and went off down the beach to the sea i went up towards the wood jasper followed me when i looked back ben had gone but i had a strange feeling that someone was watching me someone tall and dark who watched and listened i started to run up the path and did not feel safe until i reached the lawn the house stood there safe and secure the sun shone on something metal in the drive a green sports car was parked there i had never seen it before and i hoped the visitor did not want to stay to tea as i walked across the lawn i looked up at the west wing one of the shutters was open and a man stood at the window then another figure dressed in black closed the shutter i was sure it was mrs danvers but who was the man and why had he come when maxim was away in london i walked up the steps through the hall and into the morning room i could smell cigarette smoke then i heard voices and without thinking i hid behind the door i heard mrs danvers say i expect she went into the library wait here will i go and see she was talking about me of course i did not know what to do jasper had moved towards the drawing room wagging his tail hello jasper old boy said a man's voice and jasper ran back into the morning room the man followed he saw me standing behind the door i've never seen anyone more surprised i beg your pardon the man said looking down at me with a rather unpleasant smile he was a big handsome man but his face was red and his eyes were a hard blue his breath smelled of whiskey i'm so sorry he said i called to see danny she's an old friend of mine he lit a cigarette and looked round the room how's old max he asked max seems very well he's in london i said what he's left you all alone that's not fair is it the man gave an unpleasant laugh i did not like him at all at that moment mrs danvers came back she looked at me angrily well danny the man said aren't you going to introduce me to the new bride this is mr favel madam said mrs dampers how do you do i said politely will you stay to tea the man laughed again no isn't that kind danny he said but i'd better be going come and look at my car he said to me it's a good car much faster than the one max has i did not like the way that favel spoke about maxim i did not want to look at his car but i followed him out into the hall goodbye danny take care of yourself you know my telephone number dear el mandalay pavel said as we walked out of the house what do you think of it aren't you lonely living here i'm very fond of mandalay i said i've enjoyed meeting you pavel said standing by his car but i'd rather you didn't tell max about my visit i'm afraid your husband doesn't like me very much he might be crossed with poor old dany no all right i said awkwardly i won't say anything to maxim he got into the car and started the engine that's very kind he said perhaps i'll come back and see you one day goodbye favel drove away noisily and much too fast i walked slowly back to the house mrs danvers had gone i wondered who favel was he had certainly been to mandalay before and like rebecca he called maxim max had favel known rebecca what had he been doing in the west wing there were some very valuable things in the house perhaps the man was a thief i decided to go up to the west wing i must see that everything was all right the house seemed very quiet as i began to walk up the stairs my heart was beating in a strange excited way i was again in the corridor where i had stood on my first morning at mandalay i turned the handle of the nearest door and went inside everything was dark i found the light and switched it on i was surprised to see that the room was completely furnished there was no dust and everything was clean and tidy the room a bedroom was the most beautiful i had ever seen there were flowers on the dressing table and on the table beside the bed a satin dressing gown lay on a chair there was a pair of slippers under a chair i walked slowly into the middle of the room no it was not used it was not lived in anymore the air was not fresh rebecca would never come back to this room again i could hear the sea clearly i went to the window and opened a shutter yes i was standing at the window where i had seen mrs danvers and favel i felt afraid and my legs began to tremble i sat down on the stool by the dressing table i looked round the room the most beautiful in mandalay a room that was never used now i got up and went to the chair i touched the satin dressing gown i picked up the slippers and held them in my hand on the bed lay rebecca's nightdress i went to the bed and held the nightdress to my face it was cold and smelt of the flowers in the happy valley as i stood looking down at the bed i heard a step behind me i turned quickly it was mrs danvers i shall never forget the look on her face it was a look of strange terrible excitement she came nearer and i could feel her breath on my face is there anything that matter madam are you feeling unwell mrs danvers said quietly i did not expect to see you here mrs danvers i came up to fast in one of the shutters i will fasten it mrs danvers said mrs danvers came back from the window and stood beside me you opened the shutter yourself didn't you she said you wanted to see this room didn't you now you are here let me show you everything her voice now was as soft and sweet as honey it's a lovely room isn't it that was her bed i keep it just as it was this was her night dress she was wearing it the night before she died these are her slippers mrs danvers put the slippers back under the chair and walked across the room to a large wardrobe all her evening clothes are here her furs too mr dewinter was always buying clothes for her beautiful clothes mrs danvers held my arm tightly with her long thin fingers her eyes looked deep into mine i blame myself for the accident she said i was out that evening when i came in i heard she'd gone down to the bay i was worried the wind was blowing hard mr dewinter came in at about eleven the wind was blowing harder and still she had not come back i sat on my bed until after five then i put on my coat and went down to the bay i saw at once that the boat had gone mrs danvers hand fell back to her side that is why mr dewinter doesn't use these rooms anymore listen to the sea even with the shutters and windows closed i could hear the dull harsh sound of the sea in the bay i come into these rooms and dust them every day mrs danvers said if you want to come again ask me no one comes here but me sometimes i feel she's standing here behind me i feel her everywhere in the morning room and in the hall you feel her too don't you i tried to smile but i felt sick and ill do you think she can see us now mrs danvers asked me do you think the dead watch the living i don't know i said i don't know sometimes i think she watches you and mr dewinter together mrs danvers whispered we stood there by the door staring at one another i could not take my eyes away from hers then i turned and walked into the corridor i went down the stairs and threw the door to the east wing i pushed open the door to my own bedroom i shut the door of the room and locked it then i lay down on my bed and closed my eyes i felt terribly sick chapter 13 more about jack favel maxim rang up the next morning i heard the phone ring while i was having breakfast and frith answered it i hoped that maxim would ask for me but he did not mr de winter will be back at about six this evening frith told me all right frith thank you i said i went on eating breakfast as slowly as i could jasper was sitting at my feet i wondered what i should do all day i had slept badly i could not forget my visit to the west wing i knew now how much mrs danvers hated me about ten o'clock the telephone rang again this time it was beatrice well my dear how are you she said shall i come and have lunch with you today i'd like you to come very much beatrice i said all right my dear see you later i put the phone down i was glad that beatrice was coming it gave me something to look forward to i wandered out onto the lawn i felt different from yesterday i wanted maxim to come home i tried not to remember my visit to the west wing but i could not stop thinking about favel and his friendship with mrs danvers i began to feel that mrs danvers was watching me there were so many rooms that maxim and i never used it was easy for mrs danvers to watch me from one of their windows beatrice arrived by car at about half past twelve this time i went out to the drive to meet her well my dear here i am she said it's a lovely day isn't it she gave me a kiss and then looked at me carefully you don't look well beatrice said you're much too thin your face is pale too what's wrong with you nothing i said my face is always pale you looked quite different when i saw you before beatrice told me you're not going to have a baby are you no i don't think so i said well i hope you will sometime maxson would be so happy to have a son what have you been doing with yourself have you done much sketching did you like the books i sent you have you had anyone to stay i had forgotten that beatrice asked so many questions no we've had no one to stay people come to tea sometimes of course i wondered whether to tell beatrice about mrs danvers visitor pavel i did not want beatrice to tell maxim about the visit but i did want to find out more about the man have you ever heard of a man called jack favel beatrice i asked her jack favel said beatrice slowly yes i do know the name wait a minute jack favel yes of course i remember him now he's an awful man i met him once years ago he was here yesterday i told her he came to see mrs danvers beatrice did not look at me oh well she said i suppose he knows mrs danvers quite well but why i asked jack favel is rebecca's cousin beatrice said i think he came to mandalay quite a lot when rebecca was alive i'm not sure i did not like him i said no i don't suppose that you did beatrice answered i hoped that she would tell me more about favel but she did not for the rest of the time we talked about other things beatrice stayed for tea and left soon afterwards she had promised to meet her husband giles at the station i hope you won't be so thin next time i see you beatrice said as she got into her car give max in my love look after him and look after yourself too i watched beatrice's car go down the drive maxim would not be back for another hour i did not feel like sitting in the house by myself i called jasper and went for a walk through the woods but i did not go near the sea i missed maxim now and felt lonely without him beatrice's questions had made me feel tired too when i came back from my walk i saw maxim's car standing in front of the house at once i felt much happier i ran quickly up the steps and into the hall as i walked towards the library i heard the sound of voices one voice was maxim's very loud and angry the door was shut but i could hear what he said you can tell favel to keep away from mandalay tell him i said so maxim was saying i know he was here never mind who told me his car was seen here yesterday if you want to meet him meet him somewhere else i don't want that man at mandalay i won't even have him in the gardens i'm telling you for the last time i heard footsteps i ran quickly up the stairs and hid myself mrs danvers came out of the library she shut the door and walked up the stairs her face was grey with anger and the look in her eyes frightened me thank god she did not know i was watching her mrs danvers went through the door to the west wing i waited a moment and then went downstairs and into the library maxim was standing by the window when he heard the door open he turned around quickly i smiled and held out my hand to him oh it's you maxim said i could tell that he was very angry his face was white and his mouth hard i took his hand in mine i missed you so much i said i hate being here without you do you maxim said he did not say anything about mrs danvers or favel are you worried about something i asked i've had a long day maxim answered and london was very hot and noisy i always hate going there maxim lit a cigarette and moved away from me i knew then that he was not going to tell me about his anger with mrs danvers maxim still thought of me as a child someone who must not hear unpleasant things but he was wrong i felt i was growing up a little more every day my life at mandalay was turning me into a woman chapter 14 preparations for the ball it was on a sunday afternoon when someone spoke about the fancy dress ball again frank crawley had come to lunch and the three of us were hoping to have a quiet afternoon but as we were walking out to the big tree on the lawn we heard a car in the drive we had to go back into the house to welcome the visitors very soon more people arrived and then some more they all stayed to tea of course as we sat in the drawing room eating cake and sandwiches one of our visitors suddenly said to maxim oh mr de winter there's something i must ask you are you having a fancy dress ball at mandalay this year maxim answered quietly no i haven't thought about it he said and i don't think anyone else has either oh but you're wrong said another woman we have all been thinking about it we used to enjoy the mandalay balls so much well i don't know said maxim there would be a great deal to do you had better ask frank crawley he would do most of the work i don't mind the work said frank looking at me it's for maxim and mrs dewinter to decide everyone looked at me and started to talk at once now mrs dewinter you must help us your husband will listen to you after all you're a new bride the ball will be for you yes of course said a man we all missed your wedding there ought to be some kind of party here at mandalay everyone laughed and clapped their hands maxim looked at me what about you would you like it he said i did not know what maxim was thinking perhaps he thought i was too shy to want the ball i think i rather like the idea i said with a smile maxim turned away alright then frank we'll have the dance mrs danvers can help you she will know what to do now if we've all finished tea we'll go into the garden we all went outside our visitors were talking happily now about their costumes for the ball i felt excited too what will you wear i said to maxim i never wear a fancy dress maxim replied i'm the host so i can do as i like what shall i wear i said i have no idea at all maxim smiled at me if you look pretty i don't mind what you put on he told me all right i said my costume will be a secret i shall keep it as a surprise maxim laughed and patted me on the shoulder as usual he was treating me like a child i did not want to be a child i wanted to be a grown-up woman i shall wear a beautiful dress at the ball i told myself everyone will say how charming i am they will think of me as the real mrs de winter at last maxim will love me as his wife and forget about rebecca soon everyone at mandalay was talking about the fancy dress ball my little maid clarus spoke of nothing else oh mata it's so exciting she said i'm looking forward to it so much the preparations went on frank was very busy and so was mrs danvers i saw very little of her and i was glad i began to get worried about my costume i did not know what to wear i looked through the books that beatrice had given me i made sketches of some of the costumes but i did not like any of them i wanted something that was pretty and simple too that evening as i was getting ready for dinner there was a knock at my bedroom door to my surprise it was mrs danvers she was holding a piece of paper in her hand it was a drawing of a costume which i had sketched and then thrown away i found this madam mrs danber said i thought you had thrown it away by mistake no mrs danvers i don't want it thank you i said quickly i hoped she would go but she stood at the door so you haven't decided what to wear madam mrs damper said in a friendly voice no i haven't decided yet i replied perhaps you could copy one of the pictures in the gallery mrs damper suggested many of them would make beautiful costumes what does mr dewinter think i don't know i said i wanted to surprise him i was going to keep my costume a secret mrs danvers looked pleased at my words then i suggest that you have your costume made in london madam there is a shop in bond street that would do it really well i have always liked the picture of the girl in white mrs danvers went on in the same friendly way the picture is about 200 years old the girl's wearing a very simple dress it would be easy to copy i did not know what to say i knew the picture well i wished i had thought of the idea myself thank you mrs danvers i said mrs danvers went out quietly i wondered why she was so friendly perhaps maxim's anger had frightened her a little as i went down to dinner i stopped in front of the picture of the young girl her name was caroline dewinter and she had been famous for her beauty the dress was very simple with short sleeves and a long full skirt her hair was in curls i would have to wear a wig over my own straight hair i felt very excited i was glad that i had chosen my costume at last i said nothing to maxim the next day i made a sketch of the picture then i sent the drawing to the shop in london with careful instructions about the dress and the wig the preparations for the great day went on no one expected me to do anything slowly the great house began to change furniture was moved as the great hall was prepared for dancing coloured lights were hung in the trees outside there were flowers everywhere hundreds of them were brought in from the garden and mrs danvers knew exactly how to arrange them mandalay took on a new beauty i had never seen the old house looking so lovely chapter 15 miss caroline de winter on the day of the ball maxim and i had lunch with frank my dress and the wig had arrived and they both looked perfect maxim and frank asked me about my costume but i told them nothing the secret made me feel excited and important you won't know it's me i told them you will both have the surprise of your lives maxim and i went back to the house after lunch the band had arrived and we welcomed the men the afternoon seemed very long i thought about going for a walk then suddenly it was tea time and beatrice and her husband giles had arrived this is like old times said beatrice looking around everything is as beautiful as ever what's everyone going to wear i suppose you refused to wear fancy dress maxim of course maxim said i prefer to be comfortable i'm going to dress as an arab said giles i got the idea from a friend but what about you mrs lacey frank said to beatrice i'm in eastern dress too i'm wearing a veil and lots of jewelry i'll be cool and comfortable that's all that matters beatrice turned to me and what is our hostess going to wear she asked the ball is for you after all we all expect you to wear something really special don't ask her said maxim she won't tell anyone she's had the dress made in london it's quite simple really i said what fun it all is said beatrice i'm getting excited already you've got her to thank for it said maxim smiling at me everyone looked at me and smiled i felt pleased and happy this ball was for me because i was a bride the new mrs dewinter mandalay had been made into a place of light and beauty just for me what's the time i said i think we ought to be getting ready i found clarisse waiting for me in my bedroom her face full of excitement i locked the door and took the dress from its box it fitted perfectly i looked at myself in the mirror i smiled i felt different already i was someone more exciting and interesting than my usual self give me the wig claris i said be careful the curls mustn't be flat i brushed back my own straight hair carefully i put the wig in place i looked in the mirror again the wig and the tightly fitting dress made me almost beautiful oh claris i said what will mr winter say there was a knock on the door who's there i called you can't come in it's me my dear said beatrice are you ready i want to have a look at you no no i said you can't come in tell maxim that he can't come in either i'll come down when i'm ready i looked in the mirror again my eyes looked larger and the curls made a soft cloud round my head i lifted the skirt of the dress in my hands unlock the door i said to claris i'm going down i stood in the gallery and looked down on the hall below there was giles in his white arab costume beatrice was wearing a long green dress and frank was dressed as a sailor only maxim was wearing evening clothes i don't know what she's doing i heard maxim say what's the time frank she must be down soon i looked up at the picture of caroline dewinter yes her dress was exactly like mine and she had the same curled hair the band was playing softly in the gallery beat the drum i said and call out miss caroline de winter the drum sounded everyone looked up miss caroline de winter the man shouted i stood at the top of the stairs smiling i expected everyone to laugh and clap as i walked down the stairs nobody laughed nobody clapped they all stared at me without moving i smiled at maxim how do you do mr dewinter i said maxim stared up at me his face was completely white something was wrong why was maxim looking like that he moved towards the stairs what the hell do you think you're doing he said his eyes were on fire with anger it's the picture i said the one in the gallery there was a long silence still nobody moved what is it i said what have i done when maxim answered his voice was cold and hard go and take off that dress it doesn't matter what you wear any evening dress will do go quickly before anyone comes i could not speak i stood staring at maxim what are you standing there for he asked me didn't you hear what i said i turned and ran up the stairs my eyes were full of tears i did not know what i was doing the door to the west wing was open mrs danvers was standing there i shall never forget the terrible look on her face it was a look of joy of joy and the most terrible hate she stood there smiling at me then i ran from her back to my room tripping and nearly falling over my long skirt claris was waiting for me in my bedroom she had heard what had happened when she saw my face clara started to cry it doesn't matter clarisse i said help me take off this dress quickly what will you wear madame claris asked me i don't know i said leave me alone now i'll be all right go down and enjoy the party don't tell anyone what has happened after claris had gone someone knocked at the door it opened and beatrice came in my dear she said are you all right i put a hand up to my head and took off the wig of course i knew it once that it was a mistake beatrice said you could not have known known what i said turning to look at her why about your costume it is exactly what rebecca wore at the last fancy dress ball here as you stood on the stairs i thought from one terrible moment i ought to have known i said i was thinking of mrs danvers she had planned this she had known what would happen how could you know said beatrice but it was a terrible shock to max him he thinks that you did it as a joke he thinks that is why you kept your dress a secret but he will understand when you speak to him i'm going to tell everyone that your dress didn't fit i did not say anything no what can you wear beatrice said here this blue dress is very pretty put this on no i said i'm not going down beatra stared at me before she spoke but my dear you must it will look so strange i felt very tired what does it matter i said beatrice looked shocked at my words think of maxim you must come down for him she said i can't i can't i answered beatrice stared at me i must go down now she said at last they will be waiting for me at dinner i'll tell maxim you'll be down in a minute shall i i did not answer and beatrice walked slowly to the door and went out after a long time i got up from the bed where i was sitting i walked across to the window i could see the colored lights in the trees i walked back to the dressing table and looked at my white face and red eyes in the mirror then slowly i washed my face and combed my hair i put the white dress and the wig back into the box i never wanted to see them again i picked up the blue dress and put it on when i was ready i opened the door and walked along the corridor everything was still and quiet then i had the sound of voices the door of the dining room was open the guests were coming out of dinner someone laughed i walked slowly down the stairs to meet them i remember very little of my first party at mandalay it was the first and the last we ever held there i remember that frank tried to make me drink a little champagne i remember beatrice smiling at me i remember dancing with giles the band played and people danced i stood there smiling at everyone maxim stood beside me his eyes were cold and hard not the eyes of the man i knew and loved all through that long night maxim never looked at me once beatrice came up to me and said why don't you sit down you look like death what was the time i did not know the night passed hour after hour then at last giles came up to me and said come and look at the fireworks on the terrace i remember standing on the terrace and staring up at the sky the fireworks rose into the sky and turned into stars and flowers the sky was red and gold every window of the house was coloured by the falling lights the grey walls of mandalay looked heavy and dark then suddenly the sky was dark too the fireworks were over i heard the sound of cars starting in the drive they're beginning to go i thought thank god they're beginning to go people came up to me to say goodbye such a wonderful party they said thank you so much for a wonderful evening the best party i've been to for a long time i shook hands with them all i smiled i'm so glad so glad i said i could think of no other words maxim had gone with frank to stand in the drive beatrice came up to me well done my dear she said the ball was a great success no one had any idea about you know you must go to bed now you look very tired have your breakfast in bed yes yes perhaps i shall i said i'll tell maxim you've gone up to bed shall i yes please beatrice all right my dear sleep well i walked slowly into the house the lights had been turned off the rooms were empty i went up the stairs and along the corridor to my room it was almost light now and a bird had started to sing i undressed slowly and got into bed i lay back and closed my eyes my body was tired but my mind would not rest i wondered how long maxim would be the little clock by my bed ticked away the minutes i lay on my side watching it an hour went by but maxim did not come chapter 16 why don't you jump i fell asleep at about seven o'clock when i woke up again it was after eleven clarisse had bought me some tea it was cold now but i drank it maxim's bed was empty he had not come to bed at all i sat up looking straight in front of me my marriage was a failure it had failed after only three months i was too young for maxim i knew too little about the world the fact that i loved him made no difference it was not the sort of love he needed maxim was not in love with me he had never loved me he did not belong to me he belonged to rebecca rebecca was the real mrs de winter i could never be the mistress of mandalay wherever i walked wherever i sat i saw rebecca i knew her well i knew her tall slim figure her small face and clear white skin if i ever heard her voice i would know it rebecca always rebecca i would never escape from rebecca she was too strong for me i got out of bed and opened the curtains sunlight filled the room i could not hide in my bedroom any longer i had a bath dressed and went downstairs the servants had been very busy the rooms were clean and tidy the flowers had gone soon there would be nothing to remind us of the fancy dress ball i met robert in the dining room good morning robert i said have you seen mr winter anywhere he went out soon after breakfast madam he's not been in since i went into the small room behind the library and picked up the telephone perhaps maxim was with frank i had to talk to maxim i had to explain about last night frank it's me i said when he answered where's maxim i don't know i haven't seen him frank said how did he sleep how was he at breakfast frank i said slowly maxim did not come to bed last night there was silence i was afraid something like that would happen frank said at last where do you think he's gone i asked i must see him i've got to explain about last night maxim thinks i did it as a joke i could not stop my tears now they poured down my face as i spoke you mustn't talk like that frank said let me come up and see you no i said it has happened nothing can be changed now perhaps that's a good thing i understand things more clearly now what do you mean said frank quickly maxim doesn't love me he loves rebecca i said he's never forgotten her he's never loved me frank it's always rebecca rebecca rebecca i heard frank cry out i've got to come and see you he said i put down the telephone and stood up i did not want to see frank he could not help me no one could help me but myself perhaps i would never see maxim again perhaps maxim had left me and would never come back i could not get these thoughts out of my mind i went to the window and looked out a fog had come up from the sea i could not see the woods it was very hot but the sun was hidden behind the wall of fog i could hear the sea and i could smell it in the fog i walked out of the house and onto the lawn i looked back at the house one of the shutters in the west wing had been pulled back someone was standing there looking down at me for a moment i thought that it was maxim then the figure moved and i saw that it was mrs danvers i felt that she knew about my tears she had planned all this to happen this was her triumph hers and rebecca's i remembered mrs danvers smiling at me like a devil but she was a living woman like myself she was not dead like rebecca i could not speak to rebecca but i could speak to mrs danvers i walked back across the lawn i went through the house along the dark silent corridor of the west wing to rebecca's room i turned the handle of the door and went inside mrs danvers was still standing by the window the shutter was folded back she turned to me and i saw that her eyes were red with crying there were dark shadows on her white face you've done what you wanted mrs tambers i said you wanted this to happen didn't you are you pleased now are you happy she turned her head away from me why did you ever come to mandalay she said nobody wanted you we were all right until you came you seem to forget that i love mr dewinter i said if you loved him you would never have married him mrs danvers said why do you hate me i asked what have i done to you you tried to take mrs dewinter's place she said but i changed nothing here i left everything to you i wanted to be friends with you i said she did not answer many people marry twice i said my marriage to mr de winter isn't a crime haven't we a right to be happy mr dewinter is not happy mrs dambas said looking at me at last look into his eyes he's in hell he has looked like that ever since she died it's not true i said it's not true he was happy when we were in italy together well he's a man isn't he she said with a hard laugh every man likes to enjoy his honeymoon i was suddenly very angry and not afraid of mrs danvers anymore i went up to her and shook her by the arm how dare you speak to me like that how dare you you made me wear that dress last night you wanted to hurt mr dewinter do you think his pain and unhappiness will bring mrs dewinter back mrs danvers moved away from me what do i care for his pain she said he's never cared about mine how do you think i felt watching you sit in her place using the things she used i hear the servants calling you mrs dewinter and all the time the real misses de winter with her smile and her lovely face is lying cold and dead in the church mrs danvers face was twisted with pain her voice was loud and hard mr dewinter deserves his pain marrying a young girl like you and only ten months afterwards well he's paying for it now he knows she is watching him my lady comes at night and watches him i looked after her when she was a child did you know that no i said no what's the use of this mrs danvers i don't want to hear anymore mrs danvers did not seem to hear me she went on speaking in a high harsh voice mrs dewinter was a lovely child she said when she was only 12 years old the men could not stop looking at her but even then she cared for nothing and nobody and that's how she was when she grew up she was beaten in the end but it wasn't a man it wasn't a woman the sea got her the sea was too strong for her in the end mrs danvers began to cry noisily with her mouth open and her eyes dry mrs danvers you're not well you ought to be in bed i said she looked at me angrily leave me alone why shouldn't i cry what's it to do with you you came here and thought you could take mr winter's place you why even the servants laughed at you when you came to mandalay you better stop this mrs danvers i said you'd better go to your room yes and then what will you do you'll go to mr to winter and tell him that mrs danvers has been unkind to you you'll go to him like you did when mr favel came here mr de winter was jealous of mr favel when she was alive he's jealous now that shows you he's not forgotten her doesn't it of course mr de winter was jealous she didn't care she only laughed all the men fell in love with her mr dewinter mr favel mr crawley it was like a game to her i don't want to know i said i don't want to know mrs danvers came close to me and put her face near to mine it's no use is it she said she's the real mrs dewinter not you i backed away from her towards the window she took my hand and held it why don't you go she said again he doesn't want you he never did he can't forget her he wants to be alone in the house again with her she pushed me towards the open window i could see the stones of the terrace below beyond the terrace was a white wall of fog look down there mrs damper said it's easy isn't it why don't you jump it wouldn't hurt it's not like drowning why don't you try it why don't you go the fog came in through the open window damp and thick i held onto the window ledge with both hands don't be afraid said mrs danvers i won't push you you can jump you're not happy mr dewinter doesn't love you why don't you jump now the fog was thicker than before there was fog below and all around me if i jumped now i would not see the stones the fall would kill me maxim did not love me go on whispered mrs dampers go on don't be afraid i shut my eyes my fingers ached from holding the ledge the thick fog made me forget my unhappiness i could forget about loving maxim i could forget about rebecca i would not have to think about rebecca anymore a loud explosion shook the window where we stood the glass cracked i opened my eyes and stared at mrs danvers the first explosion was followed by another then a third and a fourth what is it i said what has happened mrs danvers let go my arm she stared out of the window into the fog it's the rockets she said there must be a ship in trouble in the bay we listened staring into the white fog together and then we heard the sound of footsteps on the terrace below us chapter 17 rebecca has won it was maxim down on the terrace i could not see him but i could hear his voice i heard frith answer from the hall a ships hit the rocks on the bay maxim called out the fog is terrible out there tell mrs danvers to have food and drink ready for the men i'm going back to the bay to see if i can do anything mrs danvers moved back from the window we had better go down she said in her usual voice frith will be looking for me be careful of your hands i'm going to close the window then she went to the door and held it open for me when you see mr winter madam please tell him there will be a hot meal ready for the men at any time i stared at her yes i said yes mrs danvers she turned her back on me and went along the corridor i walked slowly out of the room i felt as though i had just woken up from a long sleep when i reached the hall i saw frith did you hear the rockets madam he said mr winter has gone down to the bay he went across the lawn only a few minutes ago i went out onto the terrace the fog was beginning to clear and i could see the woods again i looked up at the window above my head it looked very high i suddenly felt very hot my head ached and my hands were wet i stood very still then for the first time i realized that maxim had not gone away i had heard his voice and he was down there in the bay maxim was safe nothing else mattered if maxim was safe i began to walk along the path through the woods the fog had almost gone now when i came to the bay i could see the ship at once she was on the rocks about two miles from the shore there were some small boats near her i climbed up the path to the cliffs above the bay frank was there talking to a coast guard but i could not see maxim they're going to send a diver down soon mrs dewinter said the coast guard they want to see if they can get the ship off the rocks have you seen maxim i asked frank he's taken one of the sailors to hospital frank told me the man was hurt maxim is always a great help at times like this what are you going to do can i walk back with you to the house i think i'll stay here i want to see the diver go down i said very well frank said i shall be at the office if you want me the coast guard looked at his watch well i must be getting along too he said good afternoon the sea was calm now the diver went down and came up again nothing else happened it was very hot i sat on the cliffs for a long time doing nothing thinking of nothing when i looked at my watch again it was three o'clock i got up and walked down the hill to the bay when i came to the other side i saw ben he stood there smiling at me seen the big ship he said yes i said she's on the rocks isn't she she'll break up he said the big ship won't go down like the little one she won't come back will she who i asked him her he said the other one i did not know what ben meant i left him and walked towards the path through the woods i did not look at the cottage as i went up the path a strange fear began to fill my heart the house looked very peaceful mandalay was a place of safety and looked more beautiful than i had ever seen it i felt for the first time that it was my home i belong to mandalay and mandalay belonged to me i went through the house and into the library jasper was not there he must have gone out with maxim i suddenly felt very hungry and so i asked robert to bring in the tea i still had a strange feeling of fear in my heart i felt that i was waiting for something something terrible as i sat drinking my tea robert came back into the room captain searle the harbour master is on the phone madam he told me he wants to come here and speak to mr dewinter at once he said it's very important mr dewinter's not back yet robert i told him ask captain cell to come up and wait robert went out of the room with the message i wondered what captain cell wanted to say it must be something to do with the ship out in the bay but why did he want to see maxim captain cell came into the library about 15 minutes later he looked at me with his bright blue eyes i'm afraid i've got some bad news for mr dewinter i don't know how to tell him what sort of news captain cell i asked him well mrs winter it's not very pleasant when we sent the diver down to look at the ship he found something else it was a little sailing boat it's the boat that belonged to the late mrs winter i'm sorry i said must you tell mr winter can't the boat be left there the man found something else captain cell answered slowly the cabin door was closed so he broke a window and looked in then he got a terrible fright there was a body in there on the cabin floor i must tell your husband mrs dewinter the police will have to know too this was the reason for the strange fear in my heart someone had been in the boat with rebecca that night do we have to tell him i asked i've got to do my duty captain soul said he stopped the door had opened it was maxim hello he said is something the mata captain saw i felt very afraid i went out of the room quickly and shut the door behind me jasper was in the hall and he walked out onto the terrace with me i sat down i must not fail maxim now i sat on the terrace until i heard captain cell's car drive away then i stood up and walked slowly back to the library maxim was standing by the window i went and stood beside him i took his hand and held it against my face i want to help you maxim i said i've grown up you know i'm not a child anymore maxim put his arm around me and held me closely i was angry with you last night wasn't i he said maxim i asked him can't we start again it's too late my darling too late he said we've lost our chance of happiness something has happened something i've dreamt about night after night i knew we could never be happy maxim held both my hands and looked into my face rebecca has won he said i stared at him my heart began to beat fast what was maxim trying to tell me i always knew this would happen maxim said rebecca has kept us apart all this time i remember how she looked at me before she died i remember her smile she knew this would happen she knew she would win in the end max him i whispered what are you trying to tell me captain cell told me about the boat there was someone sailing with rebecca you have to find out who it was that's it isn't it maxim no he said you don't understand there was no one with rebecca she was alone i stood there watching his face watching his eyes it's rebecca's body lying there on the cabin floor no i said no the woman buried in the church is not rebecca i always knew that maxim said rebecca was not drowned i killed her i shot rebecca in the cottage i carried her body to the cabin took the boat out that night and sank it it's rebecca who's lying there on the cabin floor will you look into my eyes and tell me that you love me now [Music] chapter 18 the truth about rebecca it was very quiet in the library when people have a great shock they feel nothing at first i stood beside maxim and i had no feelings at all then maxim took me in his arms and began to kiss me i shut my eyes he had never kissed me like this before i love you so much he whispered this is what i had wanted him to say every day and every night but i could feel nothing now maxim stopped suddenly and pushed me away from him you see i was right he said it's too late you don't love me now it's not too late i said putting my arms around him i love you more than anything in the world it's no use now said maxim we have no time they found the boat they found rebecca i stared at him not understanding what will they do i said they will make sure that the body in the cabin is rebecca then they will remember that other body in the church the other woman the one i said was rebecca what are we going to do i said maxim did not answer does anyone know anyone at all i said maxim shook his head are you sure frank doesn't know i asked quickly how could he said maxim there was nobody there but me it was dark he stopped he sat down on a chair and i went and knelt beside him why didn't you tell me i whispered i nearly did once maxim said but you always seemed so unhappy and so shy answered very quietly i knew you were thinking about rebecca all the time how could i ask you to love me when i knew you loved rebecca you thought i loved rebecca he said i hated her we never loved each other rebecca never loved anyone except herself i sat on the floor staring at him she was clever of course maxim went on everyone thought she was the kindest the most charming person when i married her people told me i was the luckiest man in the world i found out the truth five days after we were married we were in the hills near monte carlo it was the same place i went to with you do you remember she sat there in the car and told me terrible evil things about herself things that i could not tell anyone maxim stared out of the window i did not kill her then he said i let her laugh she knew that i would take her to mandalay she knew i would never divorce her i would never tell people all the terrible things she had told me maxim came up to me and held out his hands you hate me don't you he said you can't understand me can you i did not say anything i held his hands against my heart only one thing mattered maxim did not love rebecca he had never loved her never never maxim was talking again i thought about mandalay too much he said i put mandalay first before anything else i can't tell you about those terrible years with rebecca but she made mandalay the place of beauty it is today and i accepted everything because of mandalay rebecca was careful at first maxim went on she had a flat in london she met her friends there then she began to grow careless she invited friends down here to mandalay i warned her i told her that mandalay was mine rebecca did not say anything she only smiled then frank came to me and told me he wanted to leave he wouldn't say why at first but i got the truth from him in the end rebecca never left him alone she was always going to his house and asking him to her cottage rebecca went up to london for a time when she came back she took giles out sailing with her i knew what had happened as soon as they came back beatrice and giles never stayed at mandalay again after that i knew i could never trust rebecca with anyone she had a cousin an awful man called jack favel he started to come here when i was away i've met him i said he came here the day he went to london i didn't tell you i didn't want to remind you of rebecca remind me said maxim oh god i never needed to be reminded favel often stayed with rebecca down at the cottage he is a bad man he's been in trouble with the police many times i told rebecca that i would shoot favel if he came to mandalay again then one night i could stand our life here no longer rebecca came back from london very late she went to the cottage i thought favel was with her i went after them i took a gun to frighten him maxim was talking in quick short sentences i held his hand tightly i saw a light in the cottage and went in to my surprise rebecca was alone she looked ill and strange this is the end i told her i can't stand anymore rebecca looked at me and smiled it won't be easy to divorce me she said everyone believes our marriage is perfect then she stood up and walked towards me if i had a child max she said everyone would think it was yours you would like a son wouldn't you a boy to grow up at mandalay and you would never know who his father was and she smiled at me again she was smiling when i killed her the bullet went through her heart maxim's voice was very low he spoke slowly there was blood all over the floor i had to get water from the sea to clean the place there was no moon and it was very dark maxim went on i carried rebecca's body to the boat i laid the body on the floor of the cabin then i took the boat out into the bay i wanted to take the boat a good way out but the wind was too strong for me i made some holes in the wooden planks with a metal spike i opened the seacocks and the sea water flowed in in a few minutes it had covered my feet i shut the cabin door behind me climbed into the dinghy and rode back rebecca's boat was already sinking i sat and watched it go down maxim looked at me that's all he said there's no more to tell the library was very quiet we sat there together for some minutes without saying anything then maxim began to speak again i knew the boat would be found one day he said rebecca knew she would win in the end i saw her smile when she died but rebecca is dead i told him that's what we must remember the diver has seen the body they're going to get the boat up tomorrow morning they'll find out that it's rebecca's body in the cabin then you must say you made a mistake about the other body nobody saw you that night we are the only two people who know what happened that night maxim yes he said yes i suppose so they will think the boat sank when rebecca went down into the cabin they'll think she was trapped there they'll think that won't they max him i said i don't know maxim replied slowly i don't know at that moment the telephone in the next room began to ring chapter 19 colonel julian maxim went into the little room and closed the door i sat there listening to the sound of maxim's voice i was no longer afraid of rebecca i did not hate her anymore maxim and i were going to fight this together rebecca had not won she had lost that was colonel julian said maxim as he came back into the room he's the local magistrate he has to be there when they get the boat up tomorrow he asked me if i had made a mistake about the other body the telephone began to ring again maxim answered it quickly and came back into the library it's begun he said what do you mean i asked that was a reporter the whole thing will be in the papers tomorrow there's nothing we can do after dinner we went back into the library as usual i sat at maxim's feet my head against his knees in a strange way we were completely happy rain fell in the night when i woke up in the morning maxim had already gone out i went down to breakfast as usual there were a lot of letters thanking us for the ball how far away that seemed i felt calmer much older now i took the letters into the morning room to my surprise the room was dusty and untidy the windows were tightly closed and some of the flowers were dead i rang the bell for a maid and when she came i spoke to her angrily i wondered why i had been frightened of the servants before the menu for the day lay on the desk it was the same food as the day before i crossed everything out and rang for robert tell mrs danvers to order something different i told him then i went out into the garden and cut some roses very soon maxim will be back i thought i must be calm and quiet i took the roses back into the morning room it was clean and tidy now as i began to arrange the flowers there was a knock at the door it was mrs danvers holding the menu in her hand she looked pale and tired i don't understand she said i'm not used to having messages sent by robert when mrs dewinter wanted any change in the menu she spoke to me herself i am mrs winter now mrs danvers i said and i shall do things in my own way mrs danvers stared at me is it true she asked slowly that mrs dewinter's boat has been found and that there was a body in the cabin i'm afraid i don't know anything about that i said don't you mrs danvers said she stood looking at me i turned away i will give orders about the lunch she said she waited but i did not say anything she went out of the room mrs danvers did not frighten me anymore she was my enemy and i did not care but if she learnt the truth about rebecca's death she would become maxim's enemy too i suddenly felt sick and ill i went out onto the terrace and began to walk up and down at half-past eleven maxim phoned me from frank's office he told me he was bringing colonel julian and frank back for lunch the time dragged by at five to one i heard the sound of a car in the drive maxim came into the hall with frank and colonel julian colonel julian the magistrate was a middle-aged man with a kind face and gray hair this is most unpleasant for you and your husband colonel julian said to me i feel very sorry for both of you maxim and frank went on into the dining room and colonel julian continued to speak to me quietly we found a body in the boat this morning it is the body of the late mrs dewinter as you know mr winter identified the other body found in the sea as his wife that makes things rather difficult for us now the colonel stopped suddenly as maxim came back into the hall lunch is ready shall we go in he said i did not look at maxim during lunch we talked about the weather and colonel julian asked me about my life in france frith and robert were in the room and no one wanted to talk about the boat at last fritz served coffee and the servants left us i wish an inquest wasn't necessary colonel julian said but i'm afraid it is i don't think it will take very long the winter will have to say that the body in the boat was the late mrs dewinter then the boat builder will say that the boat was in good order when he last saw it this must be done that's quite alright maxim said we understand i suppose mrs dewinter had to go down into the cabin for something then the door shut and somehow she was trapped there don't you think so crawly the colonel asked frank oh yes of course said frank i had a sudden feeling that frank knew the truth the inquest will be on tuesday afternoon colonel julian told us we'll keep it as short as possible but i'm afraid the reporters will be there there was another silence shall we go into the garden i said we all stood on the terrace for a moment and then colonel julian looked at his watch thank you for the lunch he said to me i'm afraid i must leave now would you like a lift crawly maxim walked with them to the car when they had gone he came back to me on the terrace it's going to be all right maxim said there won't be any trouble at the inquest there's nothing to show what i did colonel julian thinks she was trapped in the cabin and the jury will think that too i said nothing it's you i'm sorry for maxim told me sadly i don't care about anything else i'm glad that i killed rebecca but i can't forget what this has done to you you've lost that young sweet look and it will never come back in 24 hours you have grown so much older frith brought in the newspapers at breakfast the following day the story was in all of them there was a picture of mandalay and an awful one of maxim all the papers said that rebecca's body had been found after the fancy dress ball they said how everyone had loved rebecca they all said that maxim had married his young second wife within a year of rebecca's death it all made a good story maxim's face went whiter and whiter i wondered what the papers would say if they knew the truth that terrible word murder would be on every front page frank was a great help to us we had no more phone calls from reporters and no visitors it was just a question of waiting of waiting until tuesday maxim and i stayed quietly in the house or in the gardens we did not walk in the woods or go down to the sea the weather was very hot and the air was heavy there were clouds but the rain did not fall [Music] chapter 20 the inquest tuesday came at last the inquest was at two o'clock after an early lunch i drove into the town with maxim i think i shall stay here in the car i said i won't come in with you after all i didn't want you to come maxim said i wish you had stayed at mandalay maxson went off and left me sitting there the minutes went by i wondered what was happening at the inquest i got out of the car and began walking up and down a policeman looked at me excuse me madam he said aren't you mrs dewinter you can wait inside if you like the policeman took me into an empty room five minutes passed nothing happened i got up and walked out of the little room the policeman was still standing there how long would they be i asked him i'll go and see if you like the policeman said he was back again in a moment it won't last much longer he told me mr dewinter has just finished giving his evidence there's only the boat builder mr tab to speak now would you like to go in there's an empty seat near the door i followed the policeman he opened the door for me and i went in quietly and sat down the room was small and full of people the air was hot and stuffy frank was sitting next to maxim to my surprise mrs danvers was there too with pavel beside her i wondered whether maxim had seen him tab the boat builder standing in the center of the room was answering the coroner's questions was the boat in good condition the coroner was asking oh yes it certainly was the last time i saw it tap said it was a strong little boat i can't understand why it sank that night accidents have happened before the coroner said mrs dewinter was careless for a moment and she died excuse me sir said the boat builder i would like to say something else very well go on said the coroner it's this sir there was nothing wrong with that boat when i last saw it so what i want to know is this who made those holes in the planks rocks didn't do it the boat sank too far away from them and those holes were made with something sharp i could not look at anyone i stared down at the floor for a moment the coroner was too surprised to speak then he said what do you mean what sort of holes there were three of them in different parts of the boat and that's not all the seacocks have been turned full on the seacocks what are they asakarna well the seacocks close the pipes leading to the wash basins sir they must be kept tightly closed when the boat is sailing otherwise the sea water comes in it was hot in that crowded room far too hot i wished someone would open a window the boat builder was speaking again with those holes sir and the seacocks open a small boat like mrs dewinters would soon sink it's my opinion that there was no accident that boat was sunk on purpose i must try and get out of the door i thought there was no air people were standing up and talking loudly i heard the coroner say mr de winter maxim was standing up i could not look at him mr de winter the coroner said you have heard james tab's evidence do you know anything about those holes nothing can you think why they are there no of course not this news is a shock to you of course of course it is a shock does it surprise you that i am shocked maxim's voice was hard and angry oh god i thought don't let maxim lose his temper the coroner was speaking again mr dewinter i want to find out exactly how your late wife died who looked after mrs dewinter's boat she looked after it herself then whoever took the boat out that night also made those holes and opened the seacocks i suppose so you have told us that the door and windows of the cabin were shut yes doesn't this seem very strange to you mr dewinter yes it does mr dewinter i'm afraid i must ask you one other question where you and the late mrs dewinter happily married it was hot so hot i tried to stand up but i could not the ground came up to meet me and then i heard maxim's voice clear and strong will someone take my wife outside she's going to faint i was sitting in the little room again frank was beside me i'm sorry i said it was so hot in there are you feeling better mrs dewinter frank asked maxim has told me to take you back to mandalay frank helped me to get up i'd much rather stay i said i want to wait for maxim maxim maybe some time frank told me they may have to go over the evidence again but what are they trying to find out frank did not answer we were in his car now and he was driving very fast did you see favel there i asked he was sitting with mrs danvers i don't trust them frank they might make trouble frank did not answer he could not know how much maxim had told me then we were back at mandalay will he be all right now frank asked me i should go back maxim may want me he got quickly back into the car again and drove away i went upstairs to my room and lay down on my bed what were they all saying now what was happening what would i do if frank came back to mandalay without maxim i thought again of that dreadful word murder god let me not think about it let me think about something else anything i must have fallen asleep i woke up suddenly it was five o'clock i got up and went to the window there was no wind lightning flashed against the grey sky i heard thunder in the distance a few drops of rain began to fall i went downstairs and sat with jasper in the library chapter 21 a visit from jack favel it was after six when i heard the sound of maxim's car i tried to stand up but my legs were so weak that i had to lean against a chair maxim came into the room and stood by the door he looked tired and old it's all over he said i waited i could not speak or walk towards him suicide maxim said that's the verdict they said that rebecca killed herself i sat down suicide i repeated why do they think rebecca did that god knows maxim said he went and stood by the window there's one more thing to be done rebecca's body has to be buried i'm going down to the church now we'll talk about everything when i get back we've got to start our lives all over again the past can't hurt us if we're together we'll have children too i promise you i must go now i'm meeting frank and colonel julian at the church he left the room quickly and then i heard the sound of his car driving away it was quiet in the library i thought about the church where rebecca was being buried at last just before seven the rain began to fall heavily i opened the windows to let in the cold clean air the rain was falling so heavily that i did not hear frith come in excuse me madam he said there's a gentleman to see mr de winter it's mr favel i was very surprised i think i had better see mr favel i said bring him in here please frith i hoped that favel would go before maxim came back i could not think why favel had come i'm afraid maxim is not here i said when favel walked into the room his eyes were red i wondered if he had been drinking i don't mind waiting pavel replied max will be back for dinner i'm sure mr favel i said i don't want to be rude but i am very tired it will be better if you come back in the morning no no he said coming towards me i've got something to say to max this has been a shock to me you know i was very fond of rebecca yes of course i said i'm very sorry for you i was fonder of rebecca than of anyone else in the world favel went on and she was fond of me that's why i've come here to find out the truth suicide my god you and i know it wasn't suicide don't we as favel was speaking the door opened and maximum frank came in what the hell are you doing here maxim said to favel why hello max old man favel said you must be feeling very pleased with yourself do mine leaving the house said maxim codely i don't want you here now wait a minute max pavel answered you've been very lucky but i can still make life unpleasant for you and dangerous two perhaps maxim stared hard at favel oh yes he said in what way can you make things dangerous i'll tell you max said favel with an unpleasant smile you know all about rebecca and me her death was a great shock then i read about rebecca's boat and the body in the cabin so i went to the inquest i heard the boat builder's evidence what about those holes in the boat max you heard the verdict maxim told him i have nothing more to say favel laughed you know rebecca didn't kill herself i have a note here that may interest you i kept it because it was the last thing rebecca ever wrote to me listen kavel took a piece of paper from his pocket i recognized rebecca's hard black writing i tried to phone you for valread but you are out i'm leaving london now i'm going back to mandalay i'll wait for you in the cottage come down as soon as you can i've got something to tell you pavel put the note back in his pocket i found that in my london flat it was too late to drive down to mandalay when i phoned the following day rebecca was dead do you really think rebecca killed herself after writing that note maxim said nothing now max old man pavel said it last you know i'm not a rich man if i had two or three thousand pounds i could live quite well i'd never come back i promise you i've already asked you to leave the house maxim said the door is behind you for their laughed again think again max said favel i don't suppose your new bride wants to be known as the wife of a murderer you can't frighten me favel maxim answered shall i phone colonel julian you can tell your story to him you wouldn't dare max said favel i have enough evidence to hang you max maxim walked slowly towards the telephone in the next room stop him i said to frank stop him for god's sake but it was too late maxim was already speaking is that colonel julian it's to winter here could you come over to mandalay at once no i can't say anything over the phone thank you very much goodbye maxim came back again into the room colonel julian will be here in 10 minutes he said we waited in silence the rain was so heavy that we did not hear the sound of the car we were taken by surprise when frith brought the magistrate into the library good evening colonel julian maxim said it once this is jack favel my late wife's cousin he has something to say to you pavel went up to colonel julian i'm not happy about the verdict i want you to read this note tell me whether you think the writer had decided to kill herself colonel julian took the note and read it slowly i see what you mean he said but the note is not clear what do you think really happened to mrs dewinter favel looked at maxim i'll tell you what i think he said slowly rebecca never opened those seacocks she didn't make those holes in the boat rebecca didn't kill herself i say she was murdered do you want to know who the murderer is he's there standing by the window mr maximilian de winter he's your murderer take a good look at him favel began to laugh a high stupid laugh as he twisted the note round and round in his fingers [Music] chapter 22 rebecca's diary thank god for favel's laugh i saw a look of disgust come into colonel julian's face the man's drunk he said quickly he doesn't know what he's saying drunk am i shouted favel oh no i'm not drunk max to winter murdered rebecca and i'm going to prove it wait a minute said colonel julian i want to hear your proof proof said favel aren't those holes in the boat enough proof for you certainly not said colonel julian unless you can find someone who saw him do it i'll get your proof for you shouted favel the winter killed rebecca because of me he was jealous because she loved me he went down to the cottage and killed her there wait a minute i think i can find someone who saw him i suddenly knew what favel meant someone had seen it all happen someone who was often down there in the bay ben there's an idiot who's always around the cottage favel said he often slept on the beach i'm sure he saw everything can we get this man and question him asked colonel julian of course said maxim his name is ben could you go and get him frank take your car frank went out quickly favel laughed angrily his face was very red you all help each other down here don't you he said crawley knows the truth i'm sure he'll be there to hold the young bride's arm when max is sentenced to death without warning maxim went up to favel and hit him hard favel fell heavily to the floor i wished that maxim had not hit him favel got slowly to his feet walked over to a small table and poured himself some whiskey i saw colonel julian looked thoughtfully at maxim was he beginning to believe favel's story the door opened and frank came in all right ben he said quietly don't be frightened ben stepped into the room and stared at everyone with his small eyes pavel walked up to him you know who i am don't you he said ben did not answer come on said favel you see me in the cottage haven't you ben held frank's arm i've never seen him he said is he going to take me away no of course not said colonel julian now listen to me ben you remember the lady with the boat were you on the beach when she took her boat out for the last time you were there weren't you said favel standing over ben you saw mrs de winter go into the cottage and mr de winter too what happened then ben shook his head and moved back against the wall i didn't see anything he said he began to cry you damn little idiot favel said slowly i think ben can go home now don't you colonel julian maxim said frank took ben out of the room as the colonel nodded his head that poor fellow was terrified he said he's no use to you favel i'm afraid you can't prove your story favel did not answer instead he rang the bell and when frith came in he said ask mrs dampers to come here frith isn't mrs danvers the housekeeper asked colonel julian as frith left the room she was also rebecca's friend she knew her for years paval said with his unpleasant smile we all waited watching the door then mrs danvers came in and shut the door behind her good evening mrs danvers colonel julian said i would like to ask you a question you knew the late mrs dewinter well mr favel has told us that mrs dewinter was in love with him is that true no it is not mrs danvers answered now listen daddy pavel began to shout but mrs danvers took no notice she was not in love with you mr jack or with mr to winter she was not in love with anyone she thought men were fools she amused herself with you that was all maxim went very white favel stared at mrs danvers as though he did not understand her mrs danvers colonel julian said quietly can you think of any reason why mrs dewinter killed herself mrs danvers shook her head no certainly not she said there you are what did i tell you favel shouted be quiet will you let mrs danvers read the note she may understand it kendall julian said mrs danvers took the note read it and then shook her head again i don't know what she meant if it was something important she would have told me can you tell us how mrs dewinter spent that last day in london did she keep a diary asked colonel julian i've got her diary in my room mrs dampers replied i kept all her things i'll go and get it well the winter said colonel julian do you mind us seeing this diary of course not said maxim once again i saw colonel julian give maxim a hard look this time frank saw it too somehow i felt sure that the truth was in that diary mrs danvers came back with a small book in her hand here is the page for the day mrs dewinter died she said kendall julian looked at it carefully yes he said here it is hairdressers at 12 o'clock then lunch and then baker two o'clock who was baker he looked at maxim maxim shook his head baker repeated mrs dampers she knew no one called baker we must find out who this person was said colonel julian if he wasn't a friend perhaps it was someone she was afraid of mrs de winter afraid said mrs dampers she was afraid of nothing and no one only one thing worried her that was the thought of illness of dying slowly in her bed what does all this matter said favel if baker was important danny would know about him mrs danvers was turning the pages of the diary there's a telephone number here at the back she said and the name baker again well said maxim lighting a cigarette perhaps someone should phone that number would you mind frank frank took the diary without a word and went into the next room he shut the door behind him when he came back he said that was a doctor's number dr baker used to live there but he left six months ago they gave me his new address i have written it here and frank held out a piece of paper it was then that maxim looked at me he looked at me like a man saying goodbye for the last time that piece of paper was enough to hang maxim i knew why rebecca had gone to a doctor i knew what she had wanted to tell favel rebecca had been pregnant when she died she had been going to have a child it was the one clear proof that rebecca had not killed herself i was sure that this was the truth i knew maxim thought so too well done frank said maxim calmly where does the doctor live now in north london frank replied but he's not on the phone he's a very well-known women's doctor well said colonel julian there must have been something wrong with her after all i'll write him a letter frank said i don't think he would tell you anything colonel julian answered i think de winter should see him and explain i'm ready to go said maxim quietly shall i go up in the morning he's not going alone favel said with a laugh you go with him julian and i think i'd better go too what time do we start colonel julian looked at maxim nine o'clock he said perhaps you will take me in your car we'll meet at the crossroads just after nine pavel said he walked to the door i suppose you're not going to ask me to dinner so i'll say goodbye come on danny i'll see you in the morning max colonel julian came up to me and took my hand good night he said get your husband to bed early tomorrow will be a long day he held my hand for a moment but he did not look into my eyes he and frank went out together maxim and i were alone at last i'm coming with you tomorrow i said yes maxum answered we must be together as long as we can i put my arms around him and held him we did not say anything then maxim held me tightly we began to kiss each other like guilty lovers who had never kissed [Music] before chapter 23 dr baker i woke up early the following morning at about six o'clock i got up and went to the window the trees were covered in mist there was a sharp coolness in the air autumn had arrived this was the start of a new day at mandalay soon the servants would be starting work whatever happened to us life at mandalay would go on the piece of mandalay could not be broken its beauty could not be destroyed the flowers would come every year the birds would sing mandalay would always be here safe and secure within the sound of the sea maxim slept on and i did not wake him the day ahead would be long and tiring london was many miles away we did not know what we should find at the end of the journey somewhere in london lived a man called baker he had never heard of us but our future was in his hands i had a bath dressed and then woke maxim he got up and went into the bathroom i began to pack a few things we might have to stay overnight in london i looked at my small case it seemed so long since i had used it but it was only four months i could not believe it we had breakfast together and i went out onto the terrace the air was fresh and clear now it was going to be a perfect day at nine o'clock exactly frank bought up colonel julian in his car we were going in maxim's car i sat beside maxim and colonel julian got into the back you will telephone won't you frank said as he stood on the steps yes of course maxim said as we drove away i looked back at the house it had never looked more beautiful for some reason my eyes filled with tears then we were around the bend of the drive and i could see the house no longer when we came to the crossroads favel was already waiting he waved when he saw us and started up his car i settled down for the long journey to london the hours passed and the miles went by favel's car always behind us we had lunch somewhere and reached london at about three o'clock it was then that i began to feel tired it was warm and the streets were busy the drive through the center of london seemed very long maxim looked pale and tired but he did not say anything favel's car was always behind us we reached baker's house at about five o'clock maxim stopped the car and we got out favel came up to meet us we all walked slowly up the path to the front door colonel julian rang the bell a woman opened the door is dr baker at home said colonel julian he is expecting us i sent a telegram yes of course said the woman my husband is in the garden i'll tell him you're here. she took us into a cool room at the back of the house she went out and in a few minutes a tall man came into the room i'm dr baker i'm sorry to keep you waiting please sit down he said we are sorry to trouble you dr baker colonel julian said my name is julian this is mr dewinter mrs dewinter and mr favel we have come about the death of the late mrs dewinter you may have read the report in the papers the verdict was suicide pavel said i knew mrs dewinter very well she did not kill herself she had no reason to we want to know why she came to see you on the day she died dr baker looked surprised i think you've made a mistake he said no one called the winter has ever come to me but we found your old telephone number in mrs de winter's diary dr baker looked at the page from the diary that colonel julian was holding out to him that certainly was my number he said perhaps mrs dewinter gave you a different name colonel julian suggested it's possible said dr baker slowly if you have any record of a visit on that day could we see it colonel julian asked this is an important matter murder favel said of course said the doctor i had no idea there was any question of that i'll go and get my book while dr baker was out of the room we said nothing no one looked at anyone else favel whistled quietly under his breath dr baker came back into the room with a large book he opened the book and turned the pages we all stood watching his face i saw a mrs danvers on the 12th at 2 o'clock dr baker said it last danny why did favel began maxim broke in rebecca gave the wrong name of course he said do you remember the visit now doctor but dr baker was already searching his files he picked out a card and read it yes he said slowly i remember now was she tall and dark a beautiful woman colonel julian asked yes said dr baker he put back the card and looked at maxim the doctor spoke slowly the woman who called herself mrs danvers was very ill indeed she had come to me the week before i took some x-rays she had come back to hear the result i remember her words exactly i want to know the truth she said if i'm really ill i want to know so i told her dr baker stopped and looked down at the files there was nothing to be done he went on an operation would have been useless i told her that in six months she would have been dead no one said a word and the doctor went on mrs de winter looked a healthy woman she had very little pain at that time but the pain would have come the x-rays showed that she could never have had a child but that was nothing to do with her illness everyone was standing up we shook hands with dr baker and he walked with us to the front door shall i send you my report dr baker asked we may not need it said colonel julian we'll write to you if we do thank you very much i'm glad to have been of some use said dr baker goodbye and he shut the door chapter 24 the return to mandalay went and stood by the car no one said anything for a few minutes favel's face was grey his hand shook as he lit a cigarette she kept it a secret from everyone even dany it's been a dreadful shock to me pavel said you're all right of course max you've been lucky haven't you you and your young wife can go back to mandalay now you think you've won but don't be too sure i haven't finished with you yet shall we get into the car and go colonel julian asked maxim favel smiled unpleasantly as we drove away he was still standing there watching us favel can't do anything colonel julian told us i'll soon deal with him if he comes near mandalay again i don't think the papers will bother you anymore there may be some talk but i'll make sure that people hear about dr baker thank you very much maxim said what a dreadful thing illness is colonel julian went on i suppose she could not face the pain she was such a lovely young woman too neither of us answered him colonel julian's sister lived in london and he asked maxim to take him to her house we must thank you for all your help maxim said as the magistrate got out of the car i've been glad to help you must forget it all now why don't you have a holiday go abroad perhaps goodbye both of you it's been a long day as maxim started up the car i went back in my seat and closed my eyes we drove on through the traffic and i felt full of peace nothing could hurt us anymore we had dinner in a restaurant and maxim phoned frank do you think colonel julian knows the truth about rebecca's death i asked maxim as we were drinking our coffee of course he knows maxim said but he will never say anything i believe that rebecca lied to me on purpose she wanted me to kill her that's why she laughed she was laughing when she died i did not say anything it was all over there was no need for maxim to look so white and troubled i'm not sure that rebecca hasn't won even now maxim went on frank told me something rather strange on the phone mrs danvers has left mandalay there was a long distance call for her at six by a quarter to seven she had gone isn't that a good thing i said favel phoned her of course but they can't do anything to us i was glad that mrs danvers had gone mandalay could be ours we would have people to stay and soon very soon maxim and i would have children have you finished your coffee maxim said to me suddenly i feel that we must get back to mandalay as soon as possible something's wrong i know it is but you'll be so tired i said no i should be all right we can be at mandalay by two o'clock we went out to the car and maxim covered me with a rug it was dark now and i fell asleep almost at once i started to dream i saw the staircase at mandalay and mrs danvers standing there in her long black dress then in my dream i was alone in the woods near mandalay i wanted to get to the happy valley but i could not find it the dark trees were all around me then i was standing on the terrace moonlight shone on the windows the gardens had gone and the dark woods came up to the walls of the house i woke up suddenly you've slept for two hours maxim told me it's quarter past two we should be home by three the early morning was very cold the sky was dark now and there were no stars what time did you say it was i said suddenly it's 20 past two maxim replied that's strange i said the dawn seems to be coming up over there behind those hills but it can't be it's too early it's the wrong direction too maxim said you're looking west i went on watching the sky it was still getting lighter a blood red light was spreading across the sky maxim began to drive faster much faster that's not the dawn he said that's mandalay we reached the top of the hill the road to mandalay lay before us there was no moon and the sky above our heads was black but the sky in front of us was full of dreadful light and the light was red red like blood the wind blew towards us from the sea the wind smelt of smoke and it was grey with ashes they were the ashes of mandalay you

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Length: 197min 43sec (11863 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 01 2021