Lawyers, What's Your Coolest "I Rest My Case" Story?

lawyers of reddit what's your best most badass i rest my case moment complaining witness accused my client of harassment stalking said she told him numerous times that she wanted nothing to do with him my client claimed they were dating but whenever she got mad at him she'd call the police and say he was harassing her on the stand she testified that she'd never dated him never invited him into her home wanted nothing to do with him she presented a photo on her phone of him sitting on her porch to prove that he had come to her property i asked the judge permission to look at the photos before and after the porch photo for context a girl had dozens of photos of the guy who was clearly her boyfriend i showed her one such picture this is mr so and so right yes in this photo he's on a bed yes the bed is yours yes the bed is in your bedroom yes you took this photo of him yes he's smiling in the photo yes and in this photo he's wearing your brassiere yes no further questions your honor that's really sad i'm glad she got in trouble for this really takes advantage of a situation no one should have to deal with i was prosecuting some kid he had an anti-social behavior order which meant that he was not supposed to go to a certain street he had pleaded not guilty on the basis that he had not been there i opened my cross-examination by holding up a map and pointing at the street i said to him you went here didn't you he said yes in england we don't say i rest my case instead i looked up at the bench said no further questions and sat down it might not seem bad but but i got the defendant to admit the offence with one question that never happens defendant in a bench trial for a speeding ticket said he couldn't possibly go as fast as the officer clocked him he knew this because he videotaped himself accelerating from a full stop to the location of where the officer sat his experiment showed his vehicle could only get to 55 miles per hour and not the 67 mile per hour he was clocked at the aida then moved to have another speeding ticket issued because the actual posted speed limit was 50 miles per hour five miles per hour over is probably just a fine and a few points 17 over is possibly reckless driving depending on the officer's discretion i'd take that ip lawyer deep in a set of terms and conditions on a website our clients details name and contact details were listed so it is very evident that they just copy pasted our clients legal terms and conditions and missed a couple of details they needed to change i was handed the matter did a quick control plus f for client details and it was an open and shut case not really that impressive it saved me hours of time going through each term one after the other noting exact similarities for a letter of demand welcome to the world of lore where we spend millions on technology but people don't know how to control plus f or use a simple spreadsheet it wasn't at trial though we had one of those and i won it easily just always stuck with me because of how clearly the law supported my position to the point that it was inarguable otherwise and also because of how ridiculous the claim of monetary damages was guy moved out of his apartment turned in his keys then came back 15 days later demanding access so that he could retrieve belongings that he had left behind which at that point had been trashed it was just some minor furniture type items lampshade is the only thing i clearly remember and a box of his college notebooks that's his notes he took during class he is furious and sues the landlord and small claims for five thousand dollars state maximum because his notebooks have such huge value apparently they hire me and i respond which moves the case out of small claims it's just the way it works here after time in our legal advice i know this is not the case for every state but our rule is better than yours but enough aside this puts him at a huge disadvantage because now he can't rely on the lacks rules of small claims so he goes out and hires a lawyer the lawyer calls me to try to talk settlement i know her pretty well so i wasn't rude or anything but i kind of scoffed and was like no that won't be happening and direct our attention to a particular state statute then read it out loud to her this statute unlike everything else in the law isn't overly long or worthy or hard to follow it just says bluntly that when someone actually moves out and gives notice of this items left after 10 days are abandoned period end of story i could feel her deflate on the phone and encourage her to dismiss the suit she did not we proceeded to a short bench trial in district court that we won terrible people had stolen all of this little old lady's money they said it was a gift but their only evidence was a document in the bad person's handwriting that was allegedly dictated it said september 2012 no day just the month clearly the rogue had forged that when she found out about the lawsuits and not remembering when she had stolen it she hoped if she could guess within the month no one could challenge her so i'm questioning her about it exhibit b is a little old lady's bank record now that withdrawal at the bottom is that the alleged gift yes can you read the date of that transaction for me the 25th of august 2012. thank you this is the most satisfying of the lot cheers pro bono case representing woman who was trying to get a permanent protective order against her boyfriend i ask her if he has contacted her since the temporary order was issued which is a crime she says yes he called her three times defendant objection your honor judge state the grounds for your objection please d the facts i only called her once me closes file and sits down obligatory not a lawyer but i was defending myself against a debt collector for a debt so old i could not even remember for sure that it was mine me to the debt collector can you provide the actual contract bearing my signature along with a chain of title to the debt debt collector's lawyer crickets i look at the judge judge to lawyer well can you debt collectors lawyer while looking through paperwork um well no not at this time your honor judge case dismissed note to prove that a debt collector owns your debt they must prove how it came to own it often old debts are sold and resold over and over again to a number of subsequent debt buyers when this happens the debt collector must prove each and every assignment by showing a chain of title reaching all the way back in history to the original creditor more often than not for old debts it is impossible for the collector to show this they really need to reform debt so that this chain of title is required before collections can proceed it should be a very simple thing to do and it would prevent abusive practices this isn't my story although i am an attorney it's my dad's he was a federal prosecutor and a few years ago he prosecuted a high-profile white collar fraud case against a defendant that had essentially run a ponzi scheme through a small investment bank in ohio he had purchased the fraud resulted in 200 million stolen from low to middle class victims that had invested their retirement savings the defendant who was also an attorney testified that he never did anything illegal and the investment bank simply failed because of the downturn in 2008 which resulted in failed investments my dad then played for the jury a recording from a wiretap the fbi had obtained of the defendant's cell phone in 2009. the call was a conversation between the defendant and his cfo during the call the defendant instructed the cfo to lie to investors by telling them the bank's computer system was down for a jewish holiday so the investors couldn't withdraw their money the cfo responded can't we go to jail for this the defendant answered yeah but no one is going to find out the defendant was convicted on 12 stroke 12 counts during sentencing my father quoted dante's inferno citing the fact that the bottom level of heck is reserved for grifters and fraudsters who know better but still take advantage of people the defendant was sentenced to multiple life terms i represented a poor woman whose husband left her and their child behind he was of course unemployed he did not want to pay and started his plea with how much he loved his child but couldn't afford anything i started to laugh which was of course a bad move of me the guy his lawyer and the judge stated that it was unprofessional for me to laugh i luckily came back presented his rental bill petrol bill and phone bill together forming two times his welfare check without his daily bar tab so we can only conclude he has a job in black and that he chooses not to pay for his beloved child the judge looked at him he couldn't reply and we finally won with him needing to pay 1.5 times his welfare check to his ex-wife sadly he fled to north africa to escape the sentencing in the state of new york if you are issued a citation for a traffic violation you are allowed to request a supporting deposition which is essentially the officer swearing that he saw you violating whatever law you broke the courts must supply this sd within 30 days of your request or you can't motion to dismiss the case on traffic violations where the sd isn't supplied by the officer at the time of the citation there's a box you can fill in where you can request one i filled mine in with black pen and went down to the courthouse i handed the citation to the clerk and asked for a reschedule of my court date to more than 30 days out because i was going out of town no sd was supplied to me i showed up and motioned to dismiss and the judge was legit proud of me his words were i'd never look down on someone for successfully navigating the legal system dismissed i once had an appeal where the president all from other circuit courts was very bad for me the circuit court i was arguing in front of had a decision that was very good for me but it wasn't published meaning that it was not presidential my goal was to convince the court to follow its unpublished decision not the decisions of the other circuits during my argument i cited the unpublished decision one of the judges interrupts me and asks it wasn't that decision and published i answered yes but it was well reasoned he replied with a self-effacing quip i was on the panel for that decision so it couldn't have been that well reasoned the audience laughed a bit i answered quickly in that case your honor it was at least well written the audience and all the judges burst into laughter i ended up winning in a published decision which turned the old and published decision into binding precedent a bit of humor can go a long way in the courtroom especially when you're flattering the judges once had fairly standard rtc case my client going round a roundabout in a small car got sideswiped by a lorry driver claim for damages loss of earnings and the rest other side's entire case rested on whether the lorry driver saw my client or not as we could prove from cctv that my client was well within her lane within speed limits and generally on solid ground legally speaking their client gets into the witness box and is asked if he saw my client while you can't ask leading questions to your own client a napkin could tell he was being prodded towards saying no the man promptly responds i i did but the b shouldn't have been where she was my cross-examination consisted of getting him to repeat that answer and then sitting down to date the easiest day in court i ever had i helped the prosecution rest his case lol i got jammed up during spring break doing dumb spring break crap so there i was in court to face the music misdemeanors as i sat there waiting for my turn i watched person after person go before the judge the prosecutor read their charges and some information from the police report stating what the potential max sentence was for each all i don't remember exactly then the judge asked what plea they wanted to enter almost everyone said not guilty and i could see that both the judge and prosecutor were getting tired of their bulls finally my turn came i was probably second to last after what seemed like hours but may not have been the prosecutor read off my charges and cited the police report the judge looked at me with this let's just get it out of the way tell us you're not guilty look and asked how i pled guilty your honor the judge and the prosecutor both looked at each other and the judge said kid you not say again or beg your pardon guilty your honor i did it just the way officer so-and-so's report reads they exchanged looks again and the prosecutor held his papers at arm's length as if to get a better look at them and did the unthinkable your honor this all reads to me like a case of college prank gone bad the county moves to reduce charges to z's i walked and they're expecting some jail time and walked out paying like 110 plus costs i didn't really know how to feel about the scariest day of my life turning into one of the happiest ones same thing happened to my dad got a traffic ticket for something had to go to court everybody else is doing the waterworks dad's turn is up judge asked him about the ticket dad just says that yes he did it he didn't mean to but he did judge just told him to get out of there or something like that lol i've had a couple such enjoyable moments though there have all been no further questions moments as i rest my case is not something i get to say in family court i apologize in advance for what is likely to be a pretty lengthy post in the first ever domestic violence restraining order dvro case i had as a new attorney i represented a woman who has broken up with her ex-boyfriend after he has shoved hit her she filed for a dvro when he continued to harass her and show up uninvited to her place the process for getting a dvro at least in my state is the victim files documents describing the alleged abuse and a judge decides to grant a temporary restraining order with a hearing scheduled within a couple weeks where each side can present their case even after my client got the temporary restraining order her ex continued to try to contact her including randomly showing up where always she took her dog for a walk at 5am the morning of the hearing even though this was 25 miles away from where he lived at the hearing even before either party got to testify the judge reiterated that any violation of the temporary restraining order including attempted contact with the victim was grounds for a permanent dvro being issued the judge ended up ordering a brief recess before we were to introduce evidence testimony during the recess my client went to the bathroom and the ex decided it would be a good idea to follow her into the bathroom to talk her out of pursuing the dvro he had not noticed that the bailiff was also using said bathroom and the bailiff immediately ordered him out of the women's bathroom and threatened to arrest him when we got back into the courtroom x took the witness stand to testify i asked him if he had just attempted to enter the women's restroom to make contact with my client when he answered affirmatively i smuggly stated that i had no further questions the judge to him a new one and the dvro was immediately ordered on one other dvro case i handled i was defending a husband who was accused of completely unsubstantiated and clearly fabricated abused by his train wreck of a wife my first question for the wife when she took the witness stand was isn't it true you made these allegations and are requesting this dvro solely for purposes of gaining an advantage in custody and support proceeding i obviously assumed she was going to deny it and was really just planning to try to get her angry on the stand so she'd slip up and giving consistent or conflicting testimony when she answered yes the judge looked as surprised as i was i immediately stated that i had no further questions despite the fact that i had prepared at least 40 50 questions for her and sat down the judge tossed the case moments later two high school kids spend their day pee each other off so they decide to drive to a fast food restaurant to fight they park get out immediately approach and swing kiddy connects the first blow squarely and solidity across kid b and instantly drops him the whole fight was one punch with a total elapsed time of a few seconds the restaurant is sued for failure to protect its patrons the case is weak unfortunately kid b hit the pavement hard and had severe brain damage attempts were made to settle but they were after millions we knew walking and they had two former employees testifying about large crowds building up after school the plaintiff attorney aimed to prove the restaurant had a reasonable expectation of trouble and should have had armed guards in the parking lot at best their witnesses wildly exaggerating to the point of perjury their credibility was shaky and being highly disgruntled for being fired we had a list of witnesses ready to refute their claims at trial the plaintiff attorney presented first he spent a long time building up the bad blood between the kids the serious damages of kid b and his potential learning capacity a lot of foundation work to build sympathy for his client we break for lunch on day two after which it would be the defense presentation as we were talking through where we were and how we should proceed we realized the restaurant was not really mentioned at all plaintiff held back his star witnesses to rebut the defense presentation the restaurant was safe so when we reconvened defense rests your honor the plaintiff attorney fell out of his chair he begins frantically shuffling papers on his table and was stammering the judge says i take it you will need a few minutes for your clothes after that break plaintiff's attorney gave one of the worst closing remarks i've ever heard jury kid be ten percent of fault kid a ninety percent of fault restaurant zero percent oh man i think this is my favorite one you just let the other attorney hang himself and his client all on his own that is just fabulous i was in a gang-related jury trial for attempted murder defendant was a known trip and the victim was a blood against his attorney's advice the defendant testified defendant had a tattoo on his arm that said bk i asked him what became meant and he replied with blood color i was shocked he said what it actually meant but in retrospect i guess i shouldn't have been since he actually decided to testify burger king so i typically do plaintiffs work for corporations but one of my clients was getting sued by a former contractor for work allegedly performed right before he was fired in the amount of 150 k i had never dealt with opposing counsel she was about my age 32 and seemed nice heading up to trial the day of our pre-trial just five days before trial she tells me in the elevator i hope you know i'm going to kick your butt in trial i laughed and she said no really you are screwed trial comes and she drags out her case over five days and i start to get the impression her client made up the invoices with her help she finally rests her case and i called her client as my only witness he immediately testified his attorney showed him how to make the invoices the judge won't allow them into evidence she lost her case and was sanctioned five dollars k for falsifying evidence she appealed in the court of appeals ripped into her needless to say i didn't get my butt kicked i've always heard that if you're going to break the law you shouldn't draw excess attention to yourself when you do a lawyer friend of mine had this scenario his client moved into a newly built office building where they got to do a fair amount of construction work to arrange the offices on their floor how they wanted as it turned out there was this overly large gap between the lip of the elevator door and the floor on the order of an inch or so you wouldn't think that's enough for an issue but it was leading to people continuously tripping themselves up so since they were doing construction anyway they paid someone else to do a small concrete pour to smooth things out and fix the problem the original construction company finds out about this and uses their technically unconcluded contract to insist that they can rip up that floor and fix it themselves they do so and now instead of a small issue next to the elevator the entire surface of the elevator lobby on that floor is ruined random and half inch dips and hills all over the place there was basically no leveling of any kind done upon being told that this was unacceptable the construction company responded by sending the client a bill for the first redo that they hadn't wanted done since they'd solved the problem and a quote for fixing it the timeline of these events was presented to the court and then an extremely scientific presentation on just how truly horrid this floor was with high resolution topographic maps of the surface presented clearly showing just how bad this floor was and then the lawyer while talking with the lead engineer for the construction company leans in and asks a question is this acceptable work for your company the reason this is such a mic drop is that it is handing the construction company a win but at great cost if they say yes then the client has to pay the first bill and would have to pay for a redo but then the lead engineer of that construction company goes on public recorder stating that shoddy work is considered acceptable by the company if they say number then the construction company eats the cost of the reader and the reader necessary to fix it and goes on record as saying they screwed up ian albert i was in traffic court one time and saw a lawyer straight-up murderer cop with words the cop had previously testified that the weather on the night of the traffic stop was heavy rain and wind so strong that the defendant could only open his window three inches and that the car had stopped on an area with very little shoulder forcing the cop to approach from the passenger side not the driver's side the cop had then testified that he smelled a strong smell of alcohol on the defendant's breath when the defense lawyer got up he repeated what the cop had said almost verbatim and asked how he could have possibly smelled alcohol on the breath of someone on the other side of the car through a three inches crack in the window on a night with pouring rain and strong winds the cop sort of opened and shut his mouth a few times squirmed around in his seat and said that's just what i always write in my log to remind me that it was a dui stop the judge threw the case out no motion to dismiss needed then he took a break and called the traffic prosecutor and the cop into his office i'm guessing it wasn't for a nice spot of tea and some sconce really people you've never seen in all in a comment thread before how about writing dui stop in the book much shorter good god man this isn't and i rest my case moment but it was a dang fun cross examination i was defending an alimony case and in my state cohabitation with a new lover is a bar to alimony we had had a pie on the plaintiff's tale for a few months and she and opposing council had no clue i had a mountain of evidence that the plaintiff had moved in a new boyfriend and they were essentially husband and wife without the marriage certificate so if i could prove cohabitation she didn't get alimony on cross-examination i'd set her up with a question i knew she'd lie about and then hit her with a photo contradicting her so it's your testimony that john doe never visited your house oh so do you have an explanation for why he's walking in your front door in this photo so he did come over but never stayed overnight i see do you have an explanation for why his car was parked outside of your overnight on x x x x and x knights are seen in these photographs for a solid 45 minutes to an hour i'd ask a question she'd lie and then i'd impeach her with a photo directly contradicting her i was catching her in a life a minute or more she never wised up either after the first few times you'd think she'd tell the truth knowing that i'd just catch her in another lie but nope she just kept on lying again it wasn't the flashiest or even an i rest my case type moment but it's the most fun i've ever had on cross in the subsequent order the court made the specific finding that the plaintiff's testimony was without denyotov credibility if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

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Keywords: lawyer, lawyer day in the life, court case, greatest lawyer moments, greatest lawyer, greatest lawyer ever, I rest my case, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: hpFnGc0KX_k

Length: 25min 51sec (1551 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 25 2020