Lawyers Reveal Most Ridiculous Cases (r/AskReddit Top Posts | Reddit Stories)

lawyers of Reddit what's the most ridiculous argument you've heard in court I'm a lawyer the most ridiculous argument I've seen was one I actually made one of my clients got busted cooking meth this was a very clear-cut case they actually caught him in the middle of a cook no way he was getting out of this one even worse he was cooking at home and children were there yep the DA loaded him up with felonies there was no bail and he was being held in the county jail my client knew he was ducked he had been planning to get married a few weeks after he got busted my client asks me if he can get released for 24 hours so he can still get married I tell him that I'll ask but that there's no way in ducking hell they'll let him out first I asked the DA if they will allow it no they laugh so I file a motion with the court now I knew the judge was a crusty old conservative Family Values kind of guy who also has a raging erection for drug crime there was no law involved but I put together an argument about the sanctity of marriage and how the state should encourage marriage at all times and that sort of thing we have a hearing and I make the argument the DA is totally opposed and calls it ridiculous and the judge grants it the judge actually decided to allow my client out for 24 hours to get married he had to surrender at the county jail at 8 a.m. the next day and some other conditions but still he was allowed out everyone is stunned nobody can believe it the day of the wedding comes my client gets out get married then goes back to the jail everything went exactly like how it was supposed to which is also pretty shocking former assistant state attorney prosecutor here this defendant is called up for arraignment and the judges telling him that he's been charged with theft for stealing a roll of scratch-off tickets from a gas station the judge informs the defendant that since the value of the tickets was over $300 therefore it's a felony rather than a misdemeanor the defendant says to the judge that your honor to be fair the tickets were all losers implying it's not theft at all I was amazed at the ingenious net futility of the argument ah I'm a lawyer I should win right there anyway we were in trial and opposing counsel was objecting to a document I was trying to enter into evidence through one of their witnesses the witness had identified it as one of their business records but opposing counsel objects jury is in the courtroom so the judge has us approach we do and opposing counsel argues the authenticity of the document I was a little surprised so my response was your honor this is their exhibit is counsel stating they submitted an authentic documents to this Court judge turns to counsel are you submitting non authentic documents opposing counsel stammers out oh no and the document goes in I was a little surprised they wanted to argue their own document wasn't authentic just to keep me from getting it to the jury made a left turn on a green turn arrow a city bus ran a red and t-boned me my car was a little VW Rabbit so it just scooted me and I was perfectly fine driver pulls over comes out and says the Sun was in my eyes I say I'm not hurt thanks for asking police arrived and guess what there was a little busload full of witnesses everyone had the same story she ran a red city paid for my car et Cie she denied wrongdoing and went to court which I had to attend along with a witness or two and the officer her defense she had a migraine judge so I should let you off the hook because you have a bad headache and was driving into the Sun driver yes your honor I'm glad you understand she got her commercial vehicle license revoked should have just taken the points Traffic Court speeding ticket Your Honor I didn't speed and I can prove it with logic judge a ki I lady I Drive a Prius judge question mark lady that proves I'm responsible specifically in the realm of cars so I obviously wouldn't speed she had to pay the ticket I have a brief encounter personal injury prospect old lady slipped and fell on an icy driveway which was not sorted or maintained so she wanted to sue for damages after hearing the story turns out the lady fell on her own driveway which she did not salt maintained she was wanting to sue herself law student forum a professor story defendant busted for possession of narcotics they were in the pocket of his leather jacket he argues the search was illegal because with his buttery smooth leather jacket there's no way the officer would have felt the drugs in his pocket during a pat-down so he shouldn't have reached in the pocket to find the drugs in the first place judge asks if the jacket is the one he was currently wearing in court it was judge asks to fill his jacket and the pockets defendant hands it to the bailiff judge finds more drugs in the pocket needless to say it didn't go well for him not a lawyer but was the child in a custody case between my parents my mother's lawyer argued for and had put in the final agreement that I had to add my mother as a facebook friend edit this was seven years ago we are still not friends on Facebook and she's blocked on everything I have an account for this never made it to court I asked my divorce lawyer what was the worst thing a client had asked him to argue I was expecting a wry want the salad spinner sort of story he had a client a professor in his seventies who was divorcing from his wife also a professor in her 70s they were both Jewish his wife had a tattoo on her arm it was a number put there by the Nazis when they put her in a concentration camp in ww2 as a child husband was born in the u.s. was not German the German government was in the process of settling a case with the survivors she had some amount of money a six-figure sum due to her the husband wanted his lawyer to argue that he should get half the settlement money lawyer told him that there was a special circle in hell for lawyers who asked for stuff like that and that he was not planning on ending up there not a lawyer but when my mom was killed by a drunk driver we were filing a wrongful death suit and the lawyer for the defense used my mom's cancer to say that she was going to die anyway so a wrongful death dispensation was not owed not a lawyer but I was in traffic court and a cab driver had got a ticket for running a red he argued that it was really difficult to see because the Sun was rising morning right where the light was he was traveling west as with everyone else in this thread I am NOT a lawyer but did work in court had multiple mothers in separate cases claimed that they couldn't be sent to prison because it breached their European Union right to a family life I can only assume they got it from something like the Daily Mail because they all use that same phrasing edit yes this was at least in the UK had a pro se litigant argue that she didn't owe the credit card company because Jesus the basic argument was that debt is a sin or maybe not paying the debt was a sin and Jesus died for all of our sins therefore Jesus died to pay off her debt brilliant wasn't the other lawyer but his client took the stand in a retail theft trial claimed he didn't steal a couple salmon filets on purpose he was just so flustered by a phone conversation with his girlfriend that he accidentally slipped them into the pockets of his jacket in a part of the store the loss prevention officer called shoplifter Ali because it's a blind spot for the cameras and walked out without realizing it it's not like it was a candy bar or something small it was two salmon filets I asked him have you ever done that before him no me have you ever seen anyone anywhere ever put fish like that in their pocket in your entire life him no mercifully the jury did not buy his ludicrous story and found him guilty my uncle did malpractice defense well one year he had to defend a surgeon the patient said after his elbow surgery he couldn't play tennis anymore they went through weeks of work trying to figure out what went wrong and why all the sudden this guy couldn't play tennis because according to all the evidence the surgery went fine and he should be good then right before a recess my uncle stopped and asked sir have you ever played tennis before the guy said well no but I've always wanted to the case got dismissed I wasn't a lawyer but a law clerk working with the prosecutor's office this guy was caught on the highest-quality security cam video I've ever seen stabbing a store clerk like 15 times she survived and then was tackled a block away from the scene not five minutes later by a man who had see him flee and followed him 25 feet from the knife in the jacket he'd been wearing that was covered in blood with a receipt with his name on it in the pocket it was the literal definition of a slam-dunk case the guy chose to proceed to trial without his lawyer instead of having the case postponed after his attorneys house was broken into and all his files were stolen this guy's his main argument was that it wasn't him because in the statement of probable cause written by the officers after the incident they may spelled his highly unique last name by adding a T in the middle for example Johnson became Johnston he spelled his name out at every opportunity with much emphasis he also argued it couldn't be him because the man on the video tied a t-shirt around his head so that the distinctive tattoos there would be hidden but he would never cover over his tattoos like that because he was proud of them and they represented his heritage as a Korean man the jury took less than a half hour to return a guilty verdict [Music]

Channel: Storytime With Reddit

Views: 82,142

Rating: 4.8733206 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, top posts, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, Updoot Reddit, TZ Reddit, askreddit new, askreddit stories, reddit story, story, stories, toadfilms, askreddit funny, reddit best, funny posts, funny, r/ askreddit, best of, funny askreddit, storytime, r/, best posts, lawyers, lawyer, worst, cases, advice, /r

Id: Pa_JLT3ijcg

Length: 11min 27sec (687 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 02 2019