Laws of Human Nature Dissected by Robert Greene

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we're living<font color="#CCCCCC"> in</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> times where</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people have</font> never<font color="#E5E5E5"> been</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> more</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> self-obsessed</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> but I</font> think that the source of most of the pain<font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people feel in their life why</font> they hit a<font color="#E5E5E5"> wall</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> why they can't get any</font> further in<font color="#CCCCCC"> life</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> is because they don't</font> understand<font color="#CCCCCC"> people when we read a book</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">like yours you're reading getting</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> your</font> saying<font color="#E5E5E5"> yeah</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that other person's like</font> this<font color="#E5E5E5"> he's talking about them these evil</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">people out there and then all of a</font> sudden<font color="#E5E5E5"> BAM</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you hit me in the face</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> then</font> you say<font color="#CCCCCC"> I'm talking about you so what's</font> the<font color="#CCCCCC"> difference in your</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> mind between</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">meal on my skin</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> - Jeff Bezos I think</font> he's someone<font color="#E5E5E5"> who's a little bit out of</font> control<font color="#CCCCCC"> there's</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> no one more dangerous</font> than than a person<font color="#E5E5E5"> who has no</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> self</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">awareness they can't see who they are</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> do</font> you<font color="#E5E5E5"> think</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> we almost need somebody else</font> who knows<font color="#E5E5E5"> us</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> very well</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to give us their</font> feedback with us willing to take it well it's a<font color="#CCCCCC"> question of both it's a great</font> question<font color="#E5E5E5"> so today I'm sitting</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> with a</font> good<font color="#E5E5E5"> friend of mine Robert Greene you've</font> probably read some of his<font color="#E5E5E5"> books if you</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">haven't heard of his books</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> forty laws of</font> power art of seduction mastery<font color="#CCCCCC"> 50th law</font> 33 strategies<font color="#CCCCCC"> award and now</font> now the book he's been working<font color="#E5E5E5"> on for</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">years that we've been looking</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> forward to</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">he sent me a copy</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> in advance</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I didn't</font> just read it if you<font color="#E5E5E5"> look at what this</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">book looks like I shredded this book</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it</font> looks like a<font color="#CCCCCC"> five-year-old</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> book this is</font> this is the<font color="#E5E5E5"> guy's books I study I don't</font> read his books<font color="#CCCCCC"> I study his books it's</font> called the<font color="#CCCCCC"> laws of human nature and</font> we're gonna get into<font color="#E5E5E5"> it</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> today really</font> really deep into<font color="#E5E5E5"> this book hopefully if</font> you were here five<font color="#E5E5E5"> minutes before us</font> doing this we<font color="#CCCCCC"> just had a 45 minute</font> banter<font color="#CCCCCC"> it was incredible maybe put some</font> glimpse of it into<font color="#CCCCCC"> a but Robert thank</font> you so much for joining<font color="#CCCCCC"> us you have a</font> passion<font color="#E5E5E5"> it's good to have you back it's</font> good to<font color="#E5E5E5"> have you back so loss of human</font> nature<font color="#CCCCCC"> you know I read your book and one</font> of the things I like<font color="#CCCCCC"> about the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> way you</font> you started<font color="#CCCCCC"> a book is</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the fact that you</font> know we<font color="#E5E5E5"> all think when we read a book</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">like yours</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> as you're going through it</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you're reading and you're saying yeah</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> other</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> person's like this</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> oh no this</font> other person's like<font color="#CCCCCC"> that he's talking</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">about her he's talking about him he's</font> talking<font color="#CCCCCC"> about them</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> these evil</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people out</font> there and then all of a sudden<font color="#E5E5E5"> BAM</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> hit me in the face<font color="#E5E5E5"> and you say I'm</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">talking about you okay so you're saying</font> they're<font color="#E5E5E5"> saying oh my gosh like you</font> we think<font color="#E5E5E5"> we</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> are so much</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> more polish</font> superior and smarter and<font color="#E5E5E5"> intelligent and</font> we really are and then you challenge <font color="#CCCCCC">that perspective and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you completely give</font> a spin to it<font color="#E5E5E5"> so what inspired you to</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">want</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to write a book the laws of human</font> nature well<font color="#E5E5E5"> you know each of my books kind</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of</font> comes at a historical moment so the 48 <font color="#CCCCCC">laws of power</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> was at a moment</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> where I</font> think<font color="#E5E5E5"> people</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> were</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> being</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> really</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">hypocritical about power there were a</font> lot of<font color="#CCCCCC"> self-help books out there</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">were so soft and gentle and like</font> everything is sort of<font color="#CCCCCC"> pollyannish</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> about</font> power<font color="#E5E5E5"> and you just need to be positive</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">and have an open attitude and be nice</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font> people and<font color="#E5E5E5"> you'll get ahead and it</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">really pissed</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> me off because my</font> experiences in Hollywood it elsewhere <font color="#E5E5E5">and in in in all the different jobs I've</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">had is that's not</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> what</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> world is</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> like</font> so I felt angry<font color="#CCCCCC"> and when I'm angry I</font> write a book and so mastery<font color="#E5E5E5"> I was really</font> angry because<font color="#E5E5E5"> I thought people don't</font> know how to<font color="#E5E5E5"> make things</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> anymore</font> they're so techno obsessed<font color="#CCCCCC"> they're so</font> into their algorithms<font color="#CCCCCC"> they're so</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> think</font> they<font color="#E5E5E5"> can get anything</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> easily or quickly</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">and we're gonna find ourselves in a</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">world where bridges are gonna fall apart</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">people don't know how to design</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> things</font> or make things or write a book<font color="#E5E5E5"> anymore</font> and I was really<font color="#E5E5E5"> worried</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> about it so I</font> wrote<font color="#E5E5E5"> I was angry</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> so I wrote mastery so</font> the laws of human<font color="#CCCCCC"> nature I think we've</font> lost a sense of psychology of what really motivates people<font color="#CCCCCC"> I</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> think people</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">were living in times where</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people have</font> never<font color="#E5E5E5"> been more</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> self-obsessed so more</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">self-absorbed for whatever reasons</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">they're maybe a little</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> bit social media</font> plays a huge role in<font color="#CCCCCC"> that and so people</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">are kind of locked into their own little</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">world</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you may not realize this but I</font> think<font color="#CCCCCC"> that the source of most of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font> pain that<font color="#CCCCCC"> people feel in their life the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">source of most of their failures in</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> life</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">why they hit a wall why they</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> can't get</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">any further in</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> life</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> is because they</font> don't understand people<font color="#CCCCCC"> they don't</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">understand what motivates they can't get</font> inside the mind of<font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> other person</font> they're always<font color="#E5E5E5"> thinking of themselves</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">and because of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> they're they don't</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">have the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> ability to persuade or</font> influence people<font color="#CCCCCC"> to get them</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to move in</font> the<font color="#CCCCCC"> direction</font> they want<font color="#E5E5E5"> their relationships with</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">people are</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> very thin and brittle there's</font> no real deep empathic connection specifically to today's times as which was yes got<font color="#E5E5E5"> it</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it's getting</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> worse and</font> worse out there<font color="#CCCCCC"> but also a lack of a</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">self-awareness as you were</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> pointing out</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">in the beginning</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> everyone thinks it's</font> the other person that's narcissistic<font color="#E5E5E5"> or</font> aggressive<font color="#CCCCCC"> or is</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> envious or has a dark</font> side<font color="#E5E5E5"> or is repressed or is short side</font> not me no so<font color="#CCCCCC"> a lack of a self-awareness and the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">lack of what really motivates people and</font> I encounter it all the time I do a lot of<font color="#E5E5E5"> consulting with very high-powered</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">people in business in politics all over</font> the world you would<font color="#E5E5E5"> go to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the Middle</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">East for a month</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> because somebody was</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">hiring you to help him</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> out</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> with</font> decisions they were<font color="#CCCCCC"> making</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> yeah and I</font> was always<font color="#E5E5E5"> shocked at how they could</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> be</font> so<font color="#E5E5E5"> smart about some things but be</font> absolutely<font color="#CCCCCC"> ignorant</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> about people like</font> they hired somebody<font color="#E5E5E5"> who ended up being</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> partner who stole the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> company as if</font> a person like that<font color="#E5E5E5"> doesn't leave</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> traces</font> behind<font color="#E5E5E5"> them in their past and they were</font> going to do that<font color="#CCCCCC"> you know on and on and</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">on I could give you a hundred different</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">stories at the same thing so I'm always</font> shocked at how people<font color="#E5E5E5"> don't have a sense</font> of the psychology of<font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people they're</font> dealing<font color="#CCCCCC"> with they</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> don't know how to</font> judge people's character<font color="#E5E5E5"> they're basing</font> their opinions of<font color="#CCCCCC"> people on their</font> appearance<font color="#E5E5E5"> whether someone's charming or</font> good-looking<font color="#E5E5E5"> or articulate and they're</font> not looking<font color="#E5E5E5"> behind this behind the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">surface behind the mask so that anger</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">kind of fueled this book and was sort</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> of</font> one<font color="#CCCCCC"> of the main reasons I I'm</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> hoping you</font> get<font color="#E5E5E5"> angry</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> every three years that's what</font> I'm hoping<font color="#E5E5E5"> hopefully three years when</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">are</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> getting angry again</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to keep</font> writing books<font color="#CCCCCC"> for the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> next</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> thirty years</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">okay but you know it's interesting you</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">say that I read a book one</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> time by</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a</font> British<font color="#CCCCCC"> diplomat called leaderless or</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">revolution and he said some of the</font> biggest revolutions<font color="#E5E5E5"> nowadays are</font> starting<font color="#E5E5E5"> without a leader because it's</font> becoming<font color="#E5E5E5"> a complete different era were</font> living in revolutions<font color="#CCCCCC"> are</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> driven by</font> three<font color="#E5E5E5"> different things something that</font> bothers<font color="#E5E5E5"> you something you love something</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">that you hate</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you're angry about and</font> typically the biggest ones are<font color="#CCCCCC"> obviously</font> number<font color="#E5E5E5"> three hate and anger because you</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">want to do something about</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> let</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> me</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">to few pages</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I've marked off okay and I</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">don't know how many</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> them we'll get into</font> with this interview<font color="#E5E5E5"> but I will try to</font> get<font color="#E5E5E5"> into some of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> them</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> so you say here on</font> page 100 this<font color="#E5E5E5"> is the section where you</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">Thomas</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> see through people's masks right</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">and you say realize the following the</font> word personality comes from<font color="#E5E5E5"> the Latin</font> persona which means<font color="#E5E5E5"> mask which means</font> we're<font color="#CCCCCC"> all</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> wearing a mask right</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> in the</font> public we all wore masks<font color="#E5E5E5"> and this has a</font> positive<font color="#CCCCCC"> function if we display exactly</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">who we are and spoke our minds</font> truthfully we would offend almost everyone and reveal qualities that are best concealed so does this mean that we're all living<font color="#CCCCCC"> a life of you know lies</font> or does<font color="#CCCCCC"> it mean that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> some of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> us actually</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">are those who are willing to surround</font> yourself<font color="#CCCCCC"> with</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people who are</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> willing to</font> tell you the truth and<font color="#E5E5E5"> your sensitivity</font> doesn't<font color="#E5E5E5"> get into it to find</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> your blind</font> spots<font color="#E5E5E5"> you're able</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to advance</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> what does</font> it mean to you<font color="#E5E5E5"> when you write</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> something</font> like<font color="#E5E5E5"> this well I'm basically challenging</font> this idea<font color="#E5E5E5"> this notion</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that people have</font> that acting in life in being social<font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font> in wearing that mask is a bad thing as if<font color="#E5E5E5"> we need to be more authentic and be</font> just<font color="#E5E5E5"> who</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> we are and I think</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that's</font> completely<font color="#E5E5E5"> bogus</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I think humans are</font> actors from<font color="#E5E5E5"> the age of two years old</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">three</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> years old we learned how to</font> manipulate<font color="#E5E5E5"> our parents by crying when we</font> needed<font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> cry being charming saying</font> certain things<font color="#E5E5E5"> we learn how to act and</font> when we grow up<font color="#E5E5E5"> I have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> in that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> chapter I</font> make the<font color="#E5E5E5"> point</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> if if you met a person</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">that said</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> exactly what he felt</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> every</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">time you know you would hate that person</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">he would</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> never get a you would</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> never</font> have any<font color="#E5E5E5"> friends so let's be honest</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> this we're all acting when we're</font> in the office<font color="#CCCCCC"> we're not telling</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> our boss</font> exactly<font color="#CCCCCC"> what we think about his stupid</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">ideas</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> or what he's wearing or his</font> clothes or<font color="#CCCCCC"> etc we say what we think is</font> appropriate<font color="#CCCCCC"> for that situation we</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> are</font> courtiers<font color="#E5E5E5"> and I want to bring some</font> honesty into that and say stop fighting that need to<font color="#CCCCCC"> be an actor in fact what</font> you want to be is you want<font color="#E5E5E5"> to be a</font> better<font color="#E5E5E5"> actor</font> you want to be<font color="#E5E5E5"> good at this</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> so you you</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">are not saying be</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> truthful</font> you're saying<font color="#E5E5E5"> learn to act better</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">because there's some contradictions</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font> that within<font color="#E5E5E5"> the book as well though</font> right<font color="#E5E5E5"> well</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it depends on</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> situation</font> in<font color="#E5E5E5"> which you're being truthful</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you need</font> to be truthful<font color="#E5E5E5"> about yourself you need</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">to be honest about who</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you are</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you need</font> to<font color="#E5E5E5"> be honest that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you have a dark side</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">that you have aggressive impulses that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you can feel envious</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> so you need to be</font> truthful<font color="#E5E5E5"> about yourself but being a</font> social animal which<font color="#CCCCCC"> is what we are means</font> that<font color="#E5E5E5"> you have to mold what you say and</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">how</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you act</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to the situation</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that you're</font> in you can't just simply blurt out what<font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> what you feel that's not that's being an animal<font color="#E5E5E5"> that's not being a human</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> being a</font> human<font color="#CCCCCC"> being controls his emotions has</font> the ability to control<font color="#E5E5E5"> what he or she</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">says I see a thousand times in business</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">situations the number one sin that</font> people make mistakes in in negotiations or in meeting is they<font color="#E5E5E5"> talk too much they</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">say things that they shouldn't have said</font> they reveal things about<font color="#E5E5E5"> themselves</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">they shouldn't you need to have more</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">self-control</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you need to be better at wearing that</font> mask<font color="#CCCCCC"> and you need to enjoy the sense of</font> being a good<font color="#E5E5E5"> actor and playing the role</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">some of the best people who</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> are the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> most</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">successful are really good at playing a</font> role<font color="#CCCCCC"> are really good at this</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> sort</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of an</font> acting aspect<font color="#E5E5E5"> does this kind of go to</font> later<font color="#E5E5E5"> on in the book when you talk about</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">how Hubert Humphrey story with Lyndon</font> Johnson and<font color="#E5E5E5"> how he meets you know</font> Russell<font color="#E5E5E5"> and Russell becomes like a</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">courtier or becomes a mentor to you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> no</font> Lyndon Johnson to take his ambitions and say you're a little<font color="#CCCCCC"> bit too vocal your</font> ambitions are<font color="#CCCCCC"> a little</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> too crazy</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you're</font> robbing people are wrong<font color="#E5E5E5"> when he finds a</font> way to<font color="#E5E5E5"> befriend Hubert Humphrey and at</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">least to who he becomes is that is that</font> kind<font color="#CCCCCC"> of intertwined with that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> story or</font> no yes it is<font color="#CCCCCC"> I mean all my books are</font> trying to make you the reader more<font color="#E5E5E5"> outer</font> directed<font color="#E5E5E5"> so as I said we're increasingly</font> self-absorbed<font color="#E5E5E5"> we're always thinking</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">about ourselves to people like me did I</font> say the<font color="#E5E5E5"> right thing</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you know am I being</font> respected<font color="#E5E5E5"> and I want to flip the</font> scenario<font color="#E5E5E5"> I want you to look and think</font> about the<font color="#E5E5E5"> other person what they need</font> what<font color="#CCCCCC"> their thinking their</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> psychology</font> their background their problems<font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font> starting<font color="#E5E5E5"> from</font> position you have the ability to influence<font color="#E5E5E5"> them and that may</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> lead into</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">some of this acting ability where you</font> know how to<font color="#CCCCCC"> present</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the proper front for</font> them<font color="#E5E5E5"> etc</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I know I get a lot of flack for</font> this<font color="#E5E5E5"> in my books and I've had</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it since</font> the<font color="#CCCCCC"> 48 loves the power and the art</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> of</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">seduction</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> but I'm saying</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to be a social</font> animal and to be able<font color="#E5E5E5"> to get along</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> with</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">people you of course</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> if sometimes you</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">need</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> be honest I don't think</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">should be dishonest</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> with your wife and</font> your children<font color="#CCCCCC"> that's</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> those are personal</font> situations I'm talking<font color="#CCCCCC"> about in the business</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> world</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">I'm sure you when you're addressing your</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">thousands of employees at those I've</font> been to<font color="#E5E5E5"> that in Vegas</font> you're playing a role<font color="#E5E5E5"> you're wearing a</font> mask<font color="#E5E5E5"> you're showing them a kind of</font> persona<font color="#E5E5E5"> that's going to impress them</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you're being a leader being a leader</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">means being assertive being strong</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">talking a certain tone of voice carrying</font> yourself<font color="#CCCCCC"> in a</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> certain way you're an</font> actor<font color="#E5E5E5"> and the better you are in front of</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">a crowd in doing that the more people</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">will think of you as a person</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of</font> authority<font color="#E5E5E5"> right that's a different</font> perspective<font color="#E5E5E5"> thinking about it now do you</font> think<font color="#CCCCCC"> there's</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> partly some people who</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">struggle with that or maybe they don't</font> struggle<font color="#CCCCCC"> with that that we</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> need to</font> improve in<font color="#CCCCCC"> that because</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> in the book you</font> talk<font color="#CCCCCC"> about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> how one woman can meet a man</font> and a man can open<font color="#CCCCCC"> up and say let me</font> tell<font color="#E5E5E5"> you about the way I've always</font> raised my relationship my<font color="#E5E5E5"> mother and he</font> starts<font color="#E5E5E5"> crying and one woman can say wow</font> what an emotional<font color="#E5E5E5"> guy I love this guy</font> sensitive<font color="#E5E5E5"> sensitive man his heart I felt</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">him and another one we</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> can say what a</font> pansy<font color="#E5E5E5"> you are so weak</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> right</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> do you think</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">this struggle is to try to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> get everybody</font> to<font color="#E5E5E5"> like us that becomes the issue where</font> eventually we don't end up becoming<font color="#E5E5E5"> who</font> we<font color="#E5E5E5"> really can become or are you actually</font> saying that one has<font color="#CCCCCC"> to learn how to wear</font> a different<font color="#E5E5E5"> mask to deal with the person</font> that<font color="#E5E5E5"> wants the sensitive side or this</font> side because that<font color="#CCCCCC"> can become</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> a very</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">complicated life because you become</font> bipolar having to become<font color="#E5E5E5"> so many</font> different personalities<font color="#CCCCCC"> so I'm</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> really</font> curious to know if<font color="#E5E5E5"> we can dig a little</font> deeper on what you're saying here<font color="#E5E5E5"> well</font> I'd<font color="#CCCCCC"> say</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you know what I'm asking</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> for I</font> think<font color="#E5E5E5"> I do but I'm saying you need to be</font> aware of<font color="#E5E5E5"> the person</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that you're dealing</font> with now<font color="#E5E5E5"> some</font> people are truly toxic and we've all encountered them<font color="#CCCCCC"> in our life there</font> they're no good<font color="#CCCCCC"> they're gonna they can</font> ruin your<font color="#E5E5E5"> life</font> they're<font color="#E5E5E5"> aggressive they're they're</font> selfish whatever it is and<font color="#E5E5E5"> and my book</font> is full of<font color="#CCCCCC"> stories of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> those types now</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">when you're with them you need to be</font> able<font color="#E5E5E5"> to suss them out you need</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> be</font> able to<font color="#E5E5E5"> see the signs of this you're</font> dealing with<font color="#E5E5E5"> the toxic person so I'm</font> telling<font color="#E5E5E5"> you to be aware</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> in the moment</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">that every person you deal with in life</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">is different as an individual you</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">Patrick have a background that's unique</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">right you've explained some of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that to</font> me the more I know<font color="#E5E5E5"> about your unique</font> background about who what makes you who you<font color="#CCCCCC"> are the better</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I'm able to deal</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> with</font> you it doesn't<font color="#E5E5E5"> mean I have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> become a</font> fake person with Patrick<font color="#E5E5E5"> it just means</font> that when<font color="#CCCCCC"> I know</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that you have these</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">particular sensitivities and these</font> particular<font color="#CCCCCC"> values I have to be aware of</font> that and<font color="#E5E5E5"> I have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to not offend you you</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">know or do</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> things that are gonna turn</font> you against me<font color="#CCCCCC"> so it's not like you have</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">to make everybody like you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> but you have</font> to understand every person<font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you deal</font> with<font color="#E5E5E5"> and what makes them tick</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and what</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">makes them an individual</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> sometimes you</font> do<font color="#CCCCCC"> have to alter yourself and and how</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">you talk to a person depending on who</font> they are<font color="#E5E5E5"> and I'm not you're not bipolar</font> this is where the argument gets<font color="#E5E5E5"> gets</font> sidelined and is and it's not right<font color="#CCCCCC"> when</font> you are in<font color="#E5E5E5"> your daily life and you meet</font> Jordan Peterson for<font color="#E5E5E5"> instance you talk to</font> him a<font color="#E5E5E5"> certain way and when you meet</font> somebody<font color="#E5E5E5"> else who maybe you don't</font> respect as<font color="#CCCCCC"> much you suddenly become</font> another person<font color="#CCCCCC"> I'm saying you're</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> not</font> aware of how deeply you are acting<font color="#E5E5E5"> in</font> your everyday<font color="#E5E5E5"> religions</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I agree with</font> that you're<font color="#CCCCCC"> always shifting your persona</font> depending on who you meet you'll notice in your<font color="#E5E5E5"> own life there'll be people</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> meet who make you kind<font color="#E5E5E5"> of aggressive</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">you'll be</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> very</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> aggressive and assertive</font> in them and other<font color="#E5E5E5"> people you meet will</font> make you very<font color="#E5E5E5"> intimidated and you'll be</font> the exact opposite<font color="#CCCCCC"> you change depending</font> on the<font color="#E5E5E5"> people</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that you're with</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that's</font> sort of natural<font color="#CCCCCC"> that's how we are but</font> you're not<font color="#E5E5E5"> aware of that you're not</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">aware</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of how much you are actually</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> are</font> you saying to be in the<font color="#E5E5E5"> equilibrium the</font> most wins like regardless<font color="#E5E5E5"> of what you're</font> sitting<font color="#CCCCCC"> with or still have to make</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">something</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">just</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> missed no matter once it him with</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">yeah that's</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> what I've brought up</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font> Lyndon Johnson story the irradiance of Lyndon Johnson as a communicator<font color="#CCCCCC"> was</font> that he tailored his message to every different<font color="#E5E5E5"> person</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that he met he wasn't</font> the same with<font color="#E5E5E5"> Hubert Humphrey as he was</font> to dick<font color="#CCCCCC"> Russell</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> as he was to John F</font> Kennedy <font color="#E5E5E5">he was a master that always sort of</font> shifting depending on on the vulnerabilities<font color="#CCCCCC"> and the values of the</font> person he<font color="#E5E5E5"> was dealing with so you need</font> to deal with<font color="#CCCCCC"> people as individuals</font> people<font color="#CCCCCC"> are complex</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> we like to simplify</font> that some<font color="#E5E5E5"> more than</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> others</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> some more the</font> nervous but everyone is more<font color="#CCCCCC"> flexing you</font> think yes and<font color="#E5E5E5"> we like to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> simplify them</font> so when we're<font color="#CCCCCC"> dealing with someone</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> we</font> think<font color="#E5E5E5"> we have a snap judgment about them</font> they're<font color="#E5E5E5"> like this or</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> yeah but</font> they're more<font color="#E5E5E5"> complicated than you think</font> and so the more<font color="#CCCCCC"> you can figure out what</font> makes<font color="#E5E5E5"> them different what makes</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> them an</font> individual<font color="#E5E5E5"> the better your chances of</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">having the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> ability to influence them</font> influence<font color="#CCCCCC"> is an important part of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> this</font> book and<font color="#E5E5E5"> some people might think that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">that's kind</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> something evil that I'm</font> that I'm<font color="#CCCCCC"> being very Machiavellian but as</font> I've made the<font color="#CCCCCC"> point from the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> 48</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> laws of</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">power there's no worse</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> feeling in life</font> than<font color="#E5E5E5"> the fact that you can have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> no</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">influence over the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> around you</font> that<font color="#E5E5E5"> you can influence your children or</font> your spouse<font color="#E5E5E5"> or your boss or</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> your</font> colleagues<font color="#E5E5E5"> we all want the ability to</font> have<font color="#CCCCCC"> to persuade people to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> have to be</font> able<font color="#E5E5E5"> to move them in some direction so</font> there's<font color="#CCCCCC"> nothing evil about that in my</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">opinion</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you know I'm with you there so</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">I'm by the way Lyndon Johnson seems to</font> be a guy you like to write a lot<font color="#CCCCCC"> about</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">because you've</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> written about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> him</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> before</font> it's truly<font color="#CCCCCC"> at how he went on a run and</font> he ran for<font color="#CCCCCC"> office and how the day after</font> he<font color="#CCCCCC"> got elected the next day he was</font> hospitalized<font color="#E5E5E5"> from exhaustion</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> because he</font> works hard I think<font color="#CCCCCC"> he talked about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that</font> in war in 33<font color="#E5E5E5"> strategies</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> or</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> chapter</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> four</font> I<font color="#E5E5E5"> think it's maybe chapter four or five</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">one the first few chapters that you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> said</font> you know throw<font color="#E5E5E5"> everything got one at</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">gold death ground</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> Stern death cloud</font> strata which is a sickest ran out<font color="#CCCCCC"> of all</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> them</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that's my favorite strategy that</font> you have I agree with<font color="#CCCCCC"> that strategy</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> but</font> do you think<font color="#E5E5E5"> sometimes a person being</font> way too<font color="#CCCCCC"> ambitious</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> because you know Linda</font> knew from day<font color="#CCCCCC"> one</font> to be a president yeah<font color="#CCCCCC"> it wasn't like it</font> was a<font color="#E5E5E5"> unknown thing like everybody knew</font> he wanted<font color="#E5E5E5"> to be</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> president do you think</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">Russell sitting down with him and him</font> finally<font color="#E5E5E5"> being able to trust somebody</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> say</font> listen<font color="#E5E5E5"> I don't have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a bigger motivation</font> than you I can't<font color="#E5E5E5"> I'm not trying</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to be a</font> president<font color="#CCCCCC"> I can help you get</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the next</font> level do<font color="#E5E5E5"> you think the moment he felt</font> like Russell's coming from a<font color="#E5E5E5"> standpoint</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">of really wanted to give him some</font> direction<font color="#CCCCCC"> and help</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> him out</font> he put his guards down<font color="#CCCCCC"> and say let me</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">just</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> speak to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> this guy</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and allow him to</font> counsel<font color="#CCCCCC"> me a little</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> bit you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> think him</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">learning</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> how</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to tame his ambitious in a</font> way that a lot<font color="#CCCCCC"> other people to want to</font> counsel<font color="#E5E5E5"> him</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> helped him eventually become</font> a president<font color="#CCCCCC"> you know some of the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> most</font> aggressive<font color="#E5E5E5"> powerful people in</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> history</font> had incredibly high levels of<font color="#CCCCCC"> ambition</font> and they had to learn to<font color="#CCCCCC"> control that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> on</font> their rise<font color="#CCCCCC"> to the top that's how people</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">become successful is by their ability to</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">channel their energy so you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> have to be</font> aware that the game<font color="#CCCCCC"> is social that the</font> the winners in life have a wider base of operation they have<font color="#E5E5E5"> more supporters they</font> have more<font color="#E5E5E5"> allies than other people</font> you're not<font color="#CCCCCC"> going to get very far</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> in</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> life</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">if you're alienating everyone around you</font> right<font color="#E5E5E5"> you have to learn self-control</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I</font> mean all<font color="#CCCCCC"> my books</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> are</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> learning how</font> to control<font color="#CCCCCC"> yourself</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you're asking me how</font> you learn to<font color="#CCCCCC"> control yourself it's baby</font> steps it's little things<font color="#E5E5E5"> it's I mean I</font> have all sorts<font color="#CCCCCC"> of lessons</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> in all of my</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">books like if you're angry about</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">something</font> you don't act on your anger you wait 24 <font color="#CCCCCC">hours 48 hours before sending that email</font> before yelling at someone these are<font color="#E5E5E5"> little steps you take</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> learn</font> to control<font color="#E5E5E5"> that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> if you're</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> highly</font> ambitious and<font color="#E5E5E5"> you show too much</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of it</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">sometimes it's good to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> show ambition</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> but</font> you need to<font color="#E5E5E5"> show a certain amount not</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">too much to frighten</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people well that's</font> what<font color="#E5E5E5"> these books are about they're being</font> self-aware<font color="#CCCCCC"> that in a</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> certain situation</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you enter an office</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> 30 people</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and you're</font> suddenly show that you want to be like the<font color="#CCCCCC"> number 1 person</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you're gonna have</font> find your path really<font color="#E5E5E5"> difficult in life</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">but if you show that you don't have any</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">ambition no one will</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> respect you so you</font> have to<font color="#E5E5E5"> hit</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that problem</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">God and you learn how</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to do that you</font> learn by your mistakes you<font color="#CCCCCC"> learn by the</font> people you've pissed off that<font color="#CCCCCC"> you've</font> alienated<font color="#E5E5E5"> and you learn self-control</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">powerful I've was</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the on the board of</font> directors<font color="#CCCCCC"> of a publicly traded company</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">run by an entrepreneur</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> who was very</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">successful</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> but</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> who had no</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> self control</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">he couldn't control himself in an</font> interview<font color="#E5E5E5"> he</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> when he was</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> interviewed</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> by</font> a reporter<font color="#CCCCCC"> he would talk about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> his sex</font> life he would see had no he had no <font color="#E5E5E5">ability to censor himself and he got</font> angry<font color="#E5E5E5"> got angry</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> he yelled at people</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> he</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">baited so many enemies that he ended up</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">destroying himself</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I was part of the</font> group<font color="#CCCCCC"> that got</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> fired him as the CEO of</font> the company and<font color="#CCCCCC"> then</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the company just</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">completely tanked</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> because of that I see</font> that<font color="#E5E5E5"> all the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> time he's</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> looking on that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">with Elon Musk</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you have a person like</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">that who has no</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> self control</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and it</font> becomes a problem<font color="#CCCCCC"> and so what do you</font> what do you<font color="#E5E5E5"> think</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> would Elon Musk is</font> do indeed are you saying<font color="#E5E5E5"> Elon Musk is</font> somebody that has<font color="#E5E5E5"> fully lost control or</font> is Elon Musk<font color="#CCCCCC"> a person who</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> is going</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">through logical people trying to tame</font> his creativity<font color="#E5E5E5"> and they're clashing</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">together</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> because these guys are</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> looking</font> at profits this guy's thinking<font color="#E5E5E5"> about</font> change in the<font color="#E5E5E5"> world yeah but what</font> happens is like your ego gets in<font color="#E5E5E5"> the way</font> I've<font color="#CCCCCC"> seen</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people like that they think</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> nothing they cannot be challenged</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">they think so highly</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of themselves</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">they can't stand anybody challenging</font> them so yeah you look you created a publicly traded company now if you don't want people<font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> challenge you if you</font> don't want the difficulties that<font color="#E5E5E5"> come</font> with a publicly traded company then don't do it<font color="#E5E5E5"> it's very</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> simple if you</font> don't want those<font color="#CCCCCC"> kind</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> of walls those</font> obstacles<font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people are gonna put up</font> then don't do<font color="#CCCCCC"> it but he made that</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">decision</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and once you make that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> decision</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">and you're a strategist you're not</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> just</font> an entrepreneur<font color="#E5E5E5"> but you're a leader and</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">a</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> business person you have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to make</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">compromises</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you have to control what you</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">tweet the car business is an extremely</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">difficult business it depends on mass</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">producing</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> something at a reasonable</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">price and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> so you have to have a scale</font> that<font color="#CCCCCC"> you can that you can manage</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and he</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">never really had that</font> he didn't<font color="#E5E5E5"> build his company up in an</font> organic<font color="#E5E5E5"> slow</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> fashion he was too</font> ambitious<font color="#CCCCCC"> he went too quickly I saw that</font> with<font color="#E5E5E5"> the man who I was the I was on the</font> board<font color="#CCCCCC"> of directors he expanded too</font> quickly<font color="#CCCCCC"> she gets back to your ambition</font> thing<font color="#E5E5E5"> so you have to be careful and you</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">have to be a strategist in life and I</font> think<font color="#E5E5E5"> someone like Elon Musk lacks a</font> degree of<font color="#CCCCCC"> self</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> control so who would</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">think would</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> be a good strategist in the</font> business world<font color="#CCCCCC"> are your opinions the</font> same<font color="#E5E5E5"> way with a guy like Jeff Bezos</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> yes</font> he's extremely smart<font color="#CCCCCC"> I read an article</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">recently about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the guy who took over I</font> believe<font color="#CCCCCC"> its Best Buy</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> he's really smart</font> he's doing an incredible<font color="#CCCCCC"> job in an</font> industry that's that's dying<font color="#E5E5E5"> you know</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a</font> large store that selling technology <font color="#E5E5E5">that's terrible business to be in</font> he's extremely<font color="#E5E5E5"> wise and how he treats</font> his employees<font color="#CCCCCC"> and how he built his</font> business slowly I think Reed Hastings is a great example <font color="#CCCCCC">he's made some mistakes but</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> he's built I</font> think<font color="#CCCCCC"> he's quite a smart</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> strategy</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> would</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">he</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> do my Bezos do you think Bezos is</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> a</font> great strategist<font color="#CCCCCC"> yeah he's almost -</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">greatest strategist</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> what does that mean</font> well<font color="#E5E5E5"> that means I'm not necessarily in</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">favor of monopolies like that I think</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">there's some dangers to it</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> he understood</font> that you<font color="#E5E5E5"> can go</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> five ten years without</font> it making<font color="#E5E5E5"> any money without any profit</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">but</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> as long as</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you expand the brand and</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you get people addicted to what you can</font> give them then he thought<font color="#E5E5E5"> long term he</font> was a<font color="#E5E5E5"> visionary</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> he thought in terms of</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">10 to 15</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> years</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> if I have any fault</font> with business<font color="#CCCCCC"> leaders as they</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> don't have</font> that<font color="#CCCCCC"> ability</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to look</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> past the quarterly</font> report he<font color="#E5E5E5"> was willing to lose a lot of</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">money</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> knowing that he was</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> building</font> something extremely powerful he's a great strategy<font color="#E5E5E5"> so what's the difference</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">in your mind between an Elon Musk and a</font> Jeff Bezos<font color="#E5E5E5"> Elon Musk is more of a</font> visionary<font color="#CCCCCC"> but he's</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> not a practical</font> person<font color="#E5E5E5"> he's not he's</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> not an ABC type</font> person he's not<font color="#CCCCCC"> able to I think build</font> something that's sustainable<font color="#CCCCCC"> we'll see</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">but</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I think he</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> got</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> - he was too much of</font> in a hurry <font color="#CCCCCC">mm-hmm</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and he believed too much in his</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">own myth and he thinks</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that anything he</font> touches<font color="#E5E5E5"> is gonna be brilliant and great</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">he doesn't know his</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> own limits</font> besos would make<font color="#E5E5E5"> mistakes and he would</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">kind of learn</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> from his mistakes</font> he's a humbler person in a way<font color="#E5E5E5"> although</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">it probably</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> has a</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> pretty big issue by</font> now <font color="#E5E5E5">Elon Musk isn't seem like somebody who's</font> learning<font color="#E5E5E5"> from his mistakes</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I don't know</font> I could be<font color="#E5E5E5"> wrong but I think he's</font> someone<font color="#E5E5E5"> who's a</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> little</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> bit out of</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">control</font> why don't we lead<font color="#E5E5E5"> into the toxic</font> different toxic types<font color="#CCCCCC"> if you don't mind</font> I'm gonna read this part here<font color="#E5E5E5"> this</font> chapter is determine<font color="#CCCCCC"> the strength of</font> people's characters so<font color="#E5E5E5"> you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> talk about</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">the toxic characters and then</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you're</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">going</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to a strong character</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I kind of</font> want<font color="#CCCCCC"> to highlight that as well but</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> uh</font> you know prior<font color="#CCCCCC"> to doing</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that I want to</font> read this part to you<font color="#CCCCCC"> and what you say</font> in the<font color="#E5E5E5"> book you say the weak character</font> begins<font color="#E5E5E5"> from the opposite side they are</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">easily overwhelmed by circumstances</font> making<font color="#CCCCCC"> them hard</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to rely on they</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> are</font> slippery and<font color="#E5E5E5"> evasive worst of all they</font> cannot be taught<font color="#CCCCCC"> because learning</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> from</font> others implies criticism<font color="#E5E5E5"> this means you</font> will eventually<font color="#E5E5E5"> hit a wall and dealing</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">with them</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> they may appear to listen to</font> your<font color="#E5E5E5"> instructions but</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> they will simply</font> revert to what<font color="#E5E5E5"> they think</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> is best you</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">talk about the hyper perfectionist</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> then</font> he talked<font color="#CCCCCC"> about the relentless rebel the</font> personalized<font color="#CCCCCC"> er</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the drama</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> magnet the big</font> talker<font color="#E5E5E5"> the sexualize</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> er the pampered</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">Prince pleaser Savior</font> the easy moralizer and I'm<font color="#E5E5E5"> reading this</font> I'm like oh my gosh<font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> know he I had a</font> little<font color="#E5E5E5"> bit</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of that this phase of my life</font> and<font color="#E5E5E5"> this was a</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> little yeah I mean I'm</font> reading<font color="#CCCCCC"> it it's like a partner</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> like</font> maybe this<font color="#E5E5E5"> is a</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> little bit of me and so</font> we said then I<font color="#E5E5E5"> said</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> sure which one he</font> thinks<font color="#E5E5E5"> this is</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> me and we're going</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">through a nano planet</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> send the text</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">message of these eight pages they're</font> like 40 people<font color="#E5E5E5"> and I wanted them</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to me</font> and<font color="#E5E5E5"> said what is</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> your takeaway</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> from this</font> and I saw some people's response <font color="#E5E5E5">sometimes you know I sent her</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to 40</font> people<font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I just said what do you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> think</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">about these pages and some</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people's</font> respond was well it makes me<font color="#E5E5E5"> know how to</font> deal with<font color="#CCCCCC"> a few people in my life all</font> right<font color="#CCCCCC"> and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> then some people's respond was</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">I don't see anyone as me okay</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">okay no problem and then some</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people</font> were like wow<font color="#E5E5E5"> I can</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> see some of my</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> flaws</font> and<font color="#CCCCCC"> it was so interesting</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> on how</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people</font> read some<font color="#CCCCCC"> of these pages so</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> toxic types</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">why</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> don't you talk a little bit about</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">these different toxic types there's no</font> one more dangerous than than a person <font color="#E5E5E5">who has no</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> self awareness that can't see</font> who they are<font color="#E5E5E5"> because that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> gives</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> them</font> license to<font color="#E5E5E5"> do whatever they want and</font> feel justified<font color="#CCCCCC"> so</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I want you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to become</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> aware</font> of<font color="#E5E5E5"> perhaps you have these tendencies</font> yourself<font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> ability to judge people's</font> character<font color="#CCCCCC"> maybe one of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the most</font> important chapters<font color="#CCCCCC"> in the book but one</font> of the<font color="#E5E5E5"> most important skills</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> can</font> develop<font color="#CCCCCC"> in life</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> because think</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> about it</font> you<font color="#CCCCCC"> are constantly in a situation in</font> life in<font color="#E5E5E5"> which you have to decide on</font> whether<font color="#E5E5E5"> you want to associate</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> with this</font> person or not<font color="#E5E5E5"> you want to hire them as</font> an employee<font color="#CCCCCC"> you want to vote</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> for them</font> for president<font color="#CCCCCC"> you want to marry them you</font> want them to be your friend<font color="#CCCCCC"> we've all</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">been</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> in situations where</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> we</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> thought</font> somebody was<font color="#E5E5E5"> a certain way</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and then a</font> year<font color="#CCCCCC"> later or a few months later we</font> discover a whole other side<font color="#E5E5E5"> to their</font> personality and it's not good and we're surprised and were disappointed<font color="#E5E5E5"> and we</font> tend to blame<font color="#E5E5E5"> them as if they were</font> fooling us<font color="#E5E5E5"> people leave traces of who</font> they are you're just<font color="#E5E5E5"> not picking up the signs</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I</font> say in this<font color="#E5E5E5"> chapter</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> nobody ever does</font> anything<font color="#E5E5E5"> once if somebody has done a bad</font> deed or you see<font color="#E5E5E5"> them mistreating</font> somebody else<font color="#E5E5E5"> and then they'll come</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> back</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> say oh it</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> just</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> came over me</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> had</font> this<font color="#CCCCCC"> happen once I'm not that's not who</font> I<font color="#CCCCCC"> am you'll believe them you should not</font> ever believe them<font color="#CCCCCC"> you should realize</font> that<font color="#E5E5E5"> people have patterns when they do</font> something<font color="#CCCCCC"> bad</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> there probably have done</font> it<font color="#CCCCCC"> before and we'll do it again</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> so these</font> are<font color="#E5E5E5"> two types of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> who have certain</font> patterns and I want you to<font color="#E5E5E5"> be able to</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">pick them up</font> and you were making<font color="#CCCCCC"> the distinction</font> between strong and weak characters<font color="#E5E5E5"> a</font> weak character<font color="#E5E5E5"> can't stand any</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> kind of</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">criticism they can't learn</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> from</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">situations their their</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> ego is</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> too</font> fragile<font color="#CCCCCC"> and a strong person can adapt</font> and can take criticism<font color="#CCCCCC"> let's say you</font> sent that<font color="#CCCCCC"> out</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to 40 employees</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and you I</font> thought what you said was<font color="#E5E5E5"> you wanted</font> them<font color="#E5E5E5"> to assess you as a leader through</font> the prism of<font color="#CCCCCC"> no I</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> did that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> with the</font> people<font color="#CCCCCC"> I work with on a daily basis like</font> I did<font color="#E5E5E5"> that with Mari I did that my wife</font> I did on what people<font color="#CCCCCC"> I said which one</font> you think is<font color="#E5E5E5"> me that's a sign of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a</font> strong character<font color="#CCCCCC"> yeah</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and that's a sign</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">of someone</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> who was a good leader</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I have</font> a quote in<font color="#CCCCCC"> there</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> from Schopenhauer that</font> fools<font color="#CCCCCC"> do</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> not show</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> up wearing</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> a cap and</font> bells<font color="#E5E5E5"> and evil destructive</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people don't</font> have<font color="#E5E5E5"> horns on their head they've learned</font> to disguise <font color="#CCCCCC">himself</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> so really toxic people have</font> learned since<font color="#E5E5E5"> an</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> early age that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> if they</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">just simply display their ugly behavior</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">they'll turn off people and so they</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">learn to be charming and they learn to</font> be<font color="#CCCCCC"> kind</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> of seductive and they wear a</font> mask<font color="#CCCCCC"> that disguises</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you from the reality</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">is it the fact that every by</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> 100 percent</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">of people fall under one of these toxic</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">types no no so there are people that</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">don't fall under any of these toxic</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">types we all have a little</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> bit of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> look</font> that's what I'm saying so<font color="#CCCCCC"> I have a</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">little bit of the hyper perfectionist in</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">there</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I can see that I can</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> see that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">because I can see that cuz how many</font> years have you and I've been<font color="#CCCCCC"> talking</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> writing this book I mean I</font> remember<font color="#E5E5E5"> one time</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you and I spoke and</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you're like Pat if I have one other</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">person</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> your mother had just called you</font> that day<font color="#CCCCCC"> and she said how you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> doing with</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">the book and you were upset</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you said if</font> my mother calls<font color="#E5E5E5"> me one more time asking</font> me how the book<font color="#CCCCCC"> is looking I'm gonna</font> lose it <font color="#CCCCCC">I don't want anybody</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> asks</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> me about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">book so</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you were at 300</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> books to write</font> this book<font color="#E5E5E5"> over 300 books to write this</font> book I<font color="#E5E5E5"> can see that but what I want to</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">know is the following okay one almost</font> all of<font color="#E5E5E5"> us have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a part of the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> toxic types</font> the perfection as a relentless rebel <font color="#E5E5E5">personalized</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> er</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> drama magnum big talker</font> sexualized or pampered<font color="#CCCCCC"> friends pleaser</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">Savior</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> easy moralizer etc etc right we</font> all<font color="#E5E5E5"> have it we do okay is the key</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">self-awareness</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and then have somebody</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">give counsel to you or is</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it self</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">like can you address it yourself</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you</font> know what I'm saying is that<font color="#E5E5E5"> something</font> not maybe I need to<font color="#E5E5E5"> sit</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> down</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and consult</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">with anybody because</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> how I view myself</font> is obviously you know<font color="#CCCCCC"> 9 out of 10 times</font> different than how other people view<font color="#CCCCCC"> me</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">would you agree with that definitely</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> so</font> do you<font color="#CCCCCC"> think we almost need somebody</font> else who<font color="#E5E5E5"> knows us</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> very well</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to give us</font> their<font color="#CCCCCC"> feedback with</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> us willing to take</font> it well it's a<font color="#E5E5E5"> question</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of both it's a</font> great<font color="#E5E5E5"> question</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it's</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> good to get</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> feedback</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">it's just sometimes you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> can't trust</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">people how you really</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> like people will</font> be<font color="#E5E5E5"> political with you particularly</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> as a CEO<font color="#CCCCCC"> of a great</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> company they may not</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">be very</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> honest they may be afraid</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to be</font> honest with<font color="#CCCCCC"> you your wife</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> maybe less so</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">but even she has her limits</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> even she</font> knows<font color="#E5E5E5"> that she doesn't want to she needs</font> to please<font color="#E5E5E5"> you or stay on your good</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> side</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">so you need to have the ability to do</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">both</font> the the<font color="#E5E5E5"> greatest sign is when you've had</font> an<font color="#CCCCCC"> interaction</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> with people</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and it didn't</font> go the<font color="#CCCCCC"> way you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> expected and the person</font> was colder than than you thought maybe they were offended<font color="#E5E5E5"> are you gonna go back</font> home<font color="#CCCCCC"> and Gothica as an asshole fuck him</font> what<font color="#E5E5E5"> an idiot</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you know are you gonna go</font> home<font color="#E5E5E5"> are you gonna say what did I do</font> wrong<font color="#CCCCCC"> was I being too dramatic yeah was</font> I being too personal in<font color="#CCCCCC"> this situation</font> was<font color="#CCCCCC"> I moralizing too much can</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you go</font> home and self reflect and say well maybe I have<font color="#E5E5E5"> some of these</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> problems that's</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font> difference between<font color="#E5E5E5"> you and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the toxic</font> type the toxic type can't go through that<font color="#E5E5E5"> process</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> let's say that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the quality</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">in a person is almost</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> like a metal</font> there's the word tensile<font color="#E5E5E5"> if you're a</font> strong person<font color="#E5E5E5"> you can bend a little bit</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">that metal if it if it bends a</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> little</font> bit is actually<font color="#CCCCCC"> stronger</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people who are</font> weak can't take any<font color="#E5E5E5"> kind</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> criticism</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">can't look at themselves their ego</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> is</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">very fragile they're gonna wilt</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> under</font> any kind<font color="#E5E5E5"> of challenge okay so let's go</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">through the process</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> on when you talk</font> about<font color="#E5E5E5"> the superior character right</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">because you talk about</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> then it's</font> incredible he explained it say I'm somebody to have one of<font color="#E5E5E5"> these toxic</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">personalities right masks that I wear</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">due to upbringing</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> mother like when you</font> tell the<font color="#CCCCCC"> story about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> how Howard Hughes</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">was raised with a mother that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> almost was</font> all over him and<font color="#E5E5E5"> loved on him he</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">couldn't do anything wrong</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a dad</font> wanted him to have<font color="#CCCCCC"> a certain set of</font> standards<font color="#CCCCCC"> to continue the family legacy</font> and<font color="#E5E5E5"> then he didn't want to be dependent</font> and I don't<font color="#E5E5E5"> want to be in an end they</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">died in</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and boom he's left to do this</font> and he's a technical guy but he's<font color="#E5E5E5"> not</font> really a<font color="#CCCCCC"> businessman and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> a visionary in</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">a leader you're explaining all</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font> other stuff <font color="#E5E5E5">but see I'm somebody I read it and I</font> said I got three<font color="#CCCCCC"> of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> them</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> it concerns</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">me and I want to change</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and I see a</font> trend<font color="#CCCCCC"> all the kind of people</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I attract</font> or the kind of<font color="#E5E5E5"> people I keep losing in</font> my life right<font color="#E5E5E5"> like I remember one time I</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">dated three girls in span of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> four years</font> they were all the same<font color="#E5E5E5"> like why am i</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">attractive this problem in my life and I</font> said<font color="#CCCCCC"> one</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> day</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I'm</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> sometimes like oh</font> describe these girls<font color="#E5E5E5"> do</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> nowadays</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I'm</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">like dude it's not these girls</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> nowadays</font> it's you<font color="#E5E5E5"> so then I</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> came from</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> this</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">standpoint then I said dude I am</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> NOT</font> playing<font color="#E5E5E5"> around I got a</font> who the hell this guy<font color="#CCCCCC"> is right</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> because I</font> wouldn't<font color="#E5E5E5"> let my own daughter marry a guy</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">like me that was my biggest challenge oh</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">hey</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> so I'm staying single for a while</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">gotta figure myself</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> out how does</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">somebody who knows this to go to the</font> superior<font color="#E5E5E5"> character so what processes do</font> I need to go through the main thing is is<font color="#E5E5E5"> knowing that you have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that quality</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">see like if you don't think that you</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">have they say you are a hyper</font> perfectionist<font color="#E5E5E5"> and I have those</font> tendencies<font color="#CCCCCC"> but</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you don't know you're not</font> aware of it you don't<font color="#E5E5E5"> think</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that you</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">have that problem</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you're never gonna be</font> able<font color="#E5E5E5"> to stop it you're never</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> gonna</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> be</font> able to<font color="#E5E5E5"> control it so</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> 90% of the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> game is</font> your<font color="#E5E5E5"> self-awareness so when you get in a</font> situation the next<font color="#E5E5E5"> time where your</font> tendencies<font color="#CCCCCC"> I said make it plain</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> in the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">book</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that we have a lower in the higher</font> self<font color="#CCCCCC"> the lower self is this kind of</font> animal part of us<font color="#E5E5E5"> that makes us act</font> without thinking<font color="#CCCCCC"> that makes us</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> fall into</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">patterns that makes us get emotional</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">that makes us take the path of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> least</font> resistance<font color="#CCCCCC"> and we're constantly</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> falling</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">for that because it's easier it's the</font> animal part of our nature if you're aware of this<font color="#E5E5E5"> part of you if you're</font> aware that<font color="#E5E5E5"> you have these tendencies</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">then you can begin</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to control them but I</font> don't want<font color="#CCCCCC"> people</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> think that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> this is</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">that you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> have to aim too high you're not</font> trying to become<font color="#CCCCCC"> Gandhi or something</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> we</font> have our flaws and<font color="#E5E5E5"> we have our</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">limitations so you are aware</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you</font> have a pattern with certain<font color="#CCCCCC"> women</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> okay</font> three of them I can bet<font color="#CCCCCC"> you that there</font> was probably a fourth woman<font color="#E5E5E5"> that you</font> were about<font color="#E5E5E5"> to fall for or maybe this</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> solutely okay and maybe you did but</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">then at that point you realized oh here</font> I'm doing<font color="#E5E5E5"> it again</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> yes all</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> right</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> get</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">to step in it takes time yeah when you</font> make mistake when you<font color="#E5E5E5"> have a painful</font> relationship a painful a bad<font color="#CCCCCC"> interaction</font> you step<font color="#E5E5E5"> back and you say is this a</font> pattern<font color="#E5E5E5"> in</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> my life now with that</font> awareness<font color="#CCCCCC"> you can begin to break that</font> pattern<font color="#E5E5E5"> you talked about creativity and</font> you know<font color="#E5E5E5"> having people give you some</font> counsel and feedback two days<font color="#E5E5E5"> ago to a</font> chip Wilson<font color="#E5E5E5"> I</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> don't know if you know</font> with chip Wilson is founder of Lululemon oh<font color="#CCCCCC"> he's worth</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> three point nine</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> billion</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">dollars and so you know we get along</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">when we talk politically we may go at it</font> for a long time<font color="#CCCCCC"> and have some</font> credible conversations<font color="#CCCCCC"> together but I</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">always walk away</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> saying this is my</font> friend we<font color="#CCCCCC"> have a relationship together</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">the same way Patrick</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> hundred percent</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I</font> totally respect you and I'm<font color="#CCCCCC"> 100 percent</font> great CEO and thank you you're a wise leader<font color="#CCCCCC"> I appreciate a toxic type thank</font> you so much thank<font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> so the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> party's</font> said to me that was<font color="#CCCCCC"> very interesting and</font> I walked away he said<font color="#E5E5E5"> a true creative</font> person is never happy because<font color="#CCCCCC"> whatever</font> product he creates he's never happen after you<font color="#E5E5E5"> after he produces it but he</font> said the<font color="#E5E5E5"> challenge sometimes is there's</font> now there's a<font color="#CCCCCC"> Board of Directors</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">drive-away creativity in the company so</font> as the company<font color="#E5E5E5"> gets around longer all</font> they want to do is profits or fire people<font color="#E5E5E5"> you know raise</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> costs and do this</font> it's<font color="#E5E5E5"> almost like printing</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> money to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> make</font> the<font color="#CCCCCC"> economy look good</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> but then you know</font> you're gonna<font color="#E5E5E5"> have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> ahead</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> few years later</font> and so I asked<font color="#E5E5E5"> them a</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> question about how</font> to get the creative<font color="#CCCCCC"> person to deal</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> with</font> the logical<font color="#CCCCCC"> people that are gonna tell</font> you trans look we can't be<font color="#E5E5E5"> doing this</font> last<font color="#E5E5E5"> time we do we lost money all this</font> other<font color="#E5E5E5"> stuff how do you having studied so</font> many different people and<font color="#CCCCCC"> having studied</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">so many different things where do you</font> see the balance<font color="#CCCCCC"> of a creative visionary</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">Elon Musk knows he needs data he knows</font> he needs to<font color="#E5E5E5"> look at trends he knows he</font> needs to<font color="#E5E5E5"> sit down and talk</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to the</font> logical people<font color="#E5E5E5"> that they see numbers and</font> the logical people<font color="#CCCCCC"> know they meet</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> Elon</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">they need a guy that's gonna cast a</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">vision of where</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to go next</font> how do you make those two personalities work from the Elon Musk perspective he has to be aware<font color="#CCCCCC"> that he has limits that</font> he's<font color="#E5E5E5"> not great at certain</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> things that he</font> knows how<font color="#E5E5E5"> to come up</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> with</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> a great</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> idea</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">for the Tesla car but how to make</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> - how</font> to build<font color="#E5E5E5"> it to a scale that it can</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">become like a General Motors</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> he's in</font> over his head<font color="#CCCCCC"> he's gonna need help he</font> decided to go to become<font color="#CCCCCC"> a publicly</font> traded company so he could raise money <font color="#E5E5E5">on a different level than if he were</font> private<font color="#E5E5E5"> so you need to realize that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you're dependent on other people</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> alright</font> so if<font color="#E5E5E5"> you're Elan musk and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you're just</font> gone public<font color="#E5E5E5"> you're aware</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that you have</font> your limits<font color="#CCCCCC"> you aware that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you can be a</font> bit egocentric <font color="#CCCCCC">alright Who am I gonna bring onto the</font> board<font color="#E5E5E5"> that's a key decision am</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I gonna</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">bring on a bunch of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> yes-men</font> we're just gonna kowtow to everything I say<font color="#E5E5E5"> which I think he started off</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> with a</font> board like<font color="#CCCCCC"> that or am</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I gonna being</font> bring people on who were just<font color="#E5E5E5"> numbers</font> people<font color="#E5E5E5"> who are gonna</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> make my</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> life</font> miserable there were<font color="#E5E5E5"> only about a</font> quarterly report<font color="#CCCCCC"> and for</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> boosting the</font> price on on Wall Street<font color="#CCCCCC"> or am</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I gonna be</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">bringing smart strategic</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people who were</font> gonna cover for<font color="#E5E5E5"> my flaws so a great</font> leader<font color="#CCCCCC"> realizes</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and I</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> talked a</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> lot about</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">this in the war book for great generals</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">know that they have flaws and</font> limitations<font color="#E5E5E5"> and the people they hire are</font> designed to cover those flaws<font color="#E5E5E5"> so if I'm</font> not great<font color="#CCCCCC"> at execution I'm gonna hire</font> people<font color="#CCCCCC"> to serve on</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> board who are</font> practical<font color="#CCCCCC"> who have a track</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> record</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> but</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">who are not meddlers so it's a key</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">element there is who you choose</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to be on</font> your board<font color="#CCCCCC"> that's a tough thing</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and he</font> talked<font color="#CCCCCC"> about that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> let me</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> tell you it is</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">such</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a tights</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> easier to say it then</font> tougher to be in a situation<font color="#CCCCCC"> because</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">when you're hiring a boy I've</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> been in</font> the<font color="#CCCCCC"> situation so I know how tough</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> it is</font> because you could hire someone who<font color="#E5E5E5"> is</font> like<font color="#E5E5E5"> that and then they get on the board</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">and they feel the pressure from being a</font> publicly traded company<font color="#CCCCCC"> and for getting</font> in trouble<font color="#E5E5E5"> with shareholders yeah Who am</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">I beholden to the shareholders or to the</font> CEO and at some point you're legally <font color="#E5E5E5">responsible that's shareholders and you</font> start<font color="#E5E5E5"> changing who</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you were so it's a</font> difficult<font color="#CCCCCC"> decision and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> a lot of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it's</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">based on the character of the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">that you choose but the main thing would</font> be for<font color="#E5E5E5"> the guy that I worked for and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> my</font> board was like Elon Musk<font color="#CCCCCC"> and he could</font> not<font color="#E5E5E5"> be aware of his</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> own flaws and</font> limitations<font color="#CCCCCC"> he thought he</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> could do the</font> whole<font color="#E5E5E5"> thing</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> he built this company from</font> one store<font color="#CCCCCC"> to hundreds</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> of stores around</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">the world</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> why should it</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> why does anybody</font> know more than I do<font color="#CCCCCC"> you know and I told</font> him beginning from<font color="#E5E5E5"> day one look you have</font> limitations<font color="#CCCCCC"> there are things that you're</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">not</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> good at let me hold them down yeah</font> that was his<font color="#E5E5E5"> religion we</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> held</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">conversation he just wouldn't listen he</font> loves me<font color="#CCCCCC"> because of the 48 laws the</font> power he brought me<font color="#CCCCCC"> onto</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that way</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">because he wanted more power he didn't</font> want to<font color="#E5E5E5"> he wanted a</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> yes-man he wanted</font> something<font color="#CCCCCC"> just to validate his ego so</font> the Elon Musk thing is who do you choose to be your lieutenants<font color="#E5E5E5"> it's not a</font> science<font color="#E5E5E5"> because once you get on the</font> board<font color="#E5E5E5"> people</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> change you know but you you</font> have to have a mix of<font color="#CCCCCC"> people from</font> different backgrounds<font color="#CCCCCC"> and and create</font> it's like choosing a basketball team<font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">gotta have the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> right kind of migrant mix</font> and then from the board point of view you<font color="#E5E5E5"> have to understand that this is the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">creative person this</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> is the person who's</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">driving the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> company</font> you can't put straight jackets on them <font color="#E5E5E5">you can't tell them to be someone that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">they're</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> not off to do for them</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> it's</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">extremely tough because you're feeling</font> shareholder pressure<font color="#E5E5E5"> so in my case</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the</font> guy who was this visionary<font color="#CCCCCC"> CEO</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> he was</font> brilliant<font color="#E5E5E5"> he's a brilliant entrepreneur</font> he's<font color="#CCCCCC"> knew he knew how</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> design clothes</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">and the board was trying to constrain</font> him and always<font color="#E5E5E5"> like not giving him</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the</font> money<font color="#CCCCCC"> that he needed he wanted to</font> constantly borrow more<font color="#CCCCCC"> money to expand</font> etc they were putting<font color="#E5E5E5"> all sorts of</font> limitations<font color="#E5E5E5"> on him that were making so</font> he<font color="#E5E5E5"> couldn't use</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> his</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> strengths so it's</font> the<font color="#E5E5E5"> fact that the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the board members and</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">the CEO are aware of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> their own</font> limitations<font color="#CCCCCC"> now that's easier said than</font> done<font color="#CCCCCC"> doubt about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> it because I'm in these</font> meetings all<font color="#CCCCCC"> the time but</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I won't read</font> this part to you<font color="#CCCCCC"> okay so two things</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font> then let's go<font color="#E5E5E5"> into envy and I got some</font> questions<font color="#E5E5E5"> I</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> want to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> ask you about</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">persuasion and possibly even an event</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">that happened in Argentina</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> two weeks</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> ago</font> when a guy got<font color="#CCCCCC"> up and gave his opinion</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">about how</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> Millennials</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> should change and</font> they don't understand<font color="#E5E5E5"> this and they</font> don't<font color="#E5E5E5"> understand</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that and I'm like this</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">is this</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> is a complete different</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">perspective he's coming from maybe what</font> your opinions<font color="#E5E5E5"> are about some</font> generational<font color="#E5E5E5"> how everybody has certain</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">debt so you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> talk</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> about here in the book</font> you obviously<font color="#E5E5E5"> talk a lot</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> about the</font> narcissistic leader but<font color="#E5E5E5"> you say if</font> anyone dares<font color="#CCCCCC"> to challenge the narcissist</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">they are more prone</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> than</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> others to go</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">into deep narcissistic rage they are</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">hyper sensitive they also</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> like to stir</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">up constant drama as a means to justify</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">their power they are the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> only ones who</font> can solve<font color="#E5E5E5"> problems they create constant</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">drama also give them more opportunities</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> be center of attention</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the work place</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">is never stable under the door under</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">their direction how does one who is</font> going through<font color="#E5E5E5"> this now you and I talked</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">about it earlier</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> when we</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> talk with</font> presidents and<font color="#E5E5E5"> I said there's not a</font> single president we've had<font color="#CCCCCC"> that doesn't</font> have a slight element<font color="#E5E5E5"> of narcissism</font> you know<font color="#E5E5E5"> Trump has it</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> he's CEO</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> has</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font> see your<font color="#CCCCCC"> hazard right and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and there</font> could be a good<font color="#E5E5E5"> thing</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> but learning</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> how</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">to control and come to the next level</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">how do you prevent this from happening</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">from constantly creating problems to</font> solve<font color="#CCCCCC"> if there are not no problems</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> okay</font> so<font color="#E5E5E5"> I have a definition of narcissism</font> that's a<font color="#E5E5E5"> little different from other</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">people's normally we think of a</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> nurse's</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">to someone who loves</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> themself</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and I'm</font> actually saying<font color="#E5E5E5"> that a narcissist is a</font> person who<font color="#E5E5E5"> doesn't love themself</font> sufficiently so in<font color="#E5E5E5"> order</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to get through</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">life we have</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a degree of self</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">esteem we have to think that we're</font> worthy<font color="#E5E5E5"> of certain things</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> we have to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> have</font> a sense of inner worth<font color="#E5E5E5"> if we don't have</font> that<font color="#CCCCCC"> kind</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> of bedrock from within we</font> constantly need attention and validation from other people right<font color="#CCCCCC"> I need attention</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">I</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> need to stir trouble</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I need to feed my</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">ego I can't get it from myself</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I have to</font> get it from other<font color="#E5E5E5"> people</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">mm-hmm</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that's a classic</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> what I call it</font> deep narcissist<font color="#CCCCCC"> and that's why they</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">cause so many problems in</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> life and I</font> measure<font color="#E5E5E5"> it I say that imagine it like a</font> water line<font color="#E5E5E5"> and here at the top</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> is</font> someone who's<font color="#E5E5E5"> not a narcissist</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> here at</font> the middle<font color="#E5E5E5"> is kind of an</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> average person</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">and as you sink deeper into</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> narcissism</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you're more and more self-absorbed</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> can never get up to that<font color="#E5E5E5"> mid-level point</font> where you can<font color="#E5E5E5"> start thinking</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> about other</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">people</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> at the high point you're someone</font> who's<font color="#E5E5E5"> very empathetic you're able to get</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">inside</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the mind of other people you</font> understand their moods their emotions <font color="#E5E5E5">most of us fall at that range</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> in</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> maybe</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">60%</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> 50 being</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the middle line we have</font> moments<font color="#E5E5E5"> of narcissism where we get</font> self-absorbed particularly<font color="#E5E5E5"> we</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> have</font> problems and<font color="#E5E5E5"> we we turn inward but then</font> we have enough self-esteem because<font color="#CCCCCC"> of</font> our parents<font color="#CCCCCC"> because of our background</font> that we<font color="#E5E5E5"> raise ourselves back up and we</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">don't keep continually sinking into that</font> narcissism<font color="#E5E5E5"> we want to get higher we want</font> to get to<font color="#E5E5E5"> that level where we're able to</font> be more empathetic<font color="#CCCCCC"> the deep</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> narcissist</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">has sunk so far below that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> they can</font> never get<font color="#E5E5E5"> up to even to that halfway</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">point</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> there's so self-absorbed they're</font> so insecure<font color="#CCCCCC"> they constantly must stir up</font> trouble<font color="#E5E5E5"> they need to be the center of</font> attention<font color="#CCCCCC"> if to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> be the center of</font> attention means to create a great<font color="#E5E5E5"> work</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">of art that's</font> but sometimes to be the center of attention means to mess<font color="#E5E5E5"> with people to</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">create problems</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to stir up</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> trouble</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and</font> to be that at the center<font color="#CCCCCC"> of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that once</font> somebody<font color="#CCCCCC"> is</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> at that level like</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a twenty</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">or thirty I'm</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> these are just arbitrary</font> now sure there's nothing<font color="#CCCCCC"> that's gonna</font> raise them back up that's who they are <font color="#CCCCCC">there's nothing they can do</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> there's</font> almost nothing other people can do they <font color="#E5E5E5">are they are what's the word</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> they're</font> damaged goods<font color="#CCCCCC"> a lot of nothing</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that can</font> happen<font color="#CCCCCC"> I don't think so</font> Wow<font color="#CCCCCC"> and so those are some strong</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> words</font> right there<font color="#CCCCCC"> well I have a</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> story actually</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">a story that got cut from the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> book if</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you got my bonus material if</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">preorder the laws of human nature</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> get some bonus material there's a story I cut that I gave<font color="#E5E5E5"> you about Robert</font> Oppenheimer the physicist<font color="#CCCCCC"> who was a deep</font> narcissist who managed to<font color="#E5E5E5"> kind of cure</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">himself and the way he cured himself was</font> through<font color="#E5E5E5"> work</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> instead of absorbing</font> himself in<font color="#E5E5E5"> getting attention</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> he put</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> all</font> of his<font color="#CCCCCC"> energy into</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the Manhattan Project</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">and into later becoming a great</font> physicist<font color="#CCCCCC"> sort</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> of a public figure</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> he</font> turned against nuclear arms<font color="#CCCCCC"> etc</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> he sort</font> of cured himself<font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> can perhaps cure</font> yourself<font color="#CCCCCC"> through your</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> work through</font> getting<font color="#E5E5E5"> out of this</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> room getting your</font> attention<font color="#E5E5E5"> through what you achieve</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">rather than through what you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> stir up</font> from other people but generally<font color="#CCCCCC"> once you</font> get<font color="#E5E5E5"> past that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the low</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> level there's</font> nothing<font color="#E5E5E5"> you can do because you're</font> addicted<font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that you're addicted to</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">getting attention from other people when</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you're in the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> business</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> world you have to</font> deal with<font color="#CCCCCC"> so many different</font> personalities<font color="#CCCCCC"> yeah</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it first starts</font> off<font color="#E5E5E5"> on you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> realizing K why am i</font> attracting<font color="#CCCCCC"> people like this</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> well maybe</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">because they're like you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> right and</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">they're true you're attracting</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> your own</font> self<font color="#E5E5E5"> and then you change</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> oh wow</font> attracting quality<font color="#CCCCCC"> people what's going</font> on over here<font color="#CCCCCC"> well there's</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> a reflection</font> and that's<font color="#E5E5E5"> taking place as well and</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">sometimes as I'm coaching I'm sitting</font> and<font color="#CCCCCC"> going through these conversations I</font> think<font color="#E5E5E5"> about some of the things I saw</font> happening<font color="#E5E5E5"> early on in</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> my career one of</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">the things you wrote in this book page</font> 47<font color="#CCCCCC"> okay you said moralize</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> errs because</font> you know sometimes<font color="#E5E5E5"> we tie my narcissism</font> bipolar and people say this person <font color="#E5E5E5">they're like this</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> they're</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> narcissistic</font> they're this moralizer<font color="#CCCCCC"> to try</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font> separate themselves out<font color="#E5E5E5"> and denounce the</font> narcissist<font color="#E5E5E5"> in the world today are often</font> the biggest<font color="#E5E5E5"> narcissist</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of them all</font> they<font color="#E5E5E5"> love the sound of their voice as</font> they point fingers<font color="#CCCCCC"> and preach</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> we are all</font> on<font color="#E5E5E5"> the spectrum of self-absorption</font> creating<font color="#E5E5E5"> the self that we can love and</font> healthy development<font color="#E5E5E5"> there should be no</font> stigma<font color="#E5E5E5"> attached</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to it right the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> sole</font> idea<font color="#CCCCCC"> of I'm above narcissism</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and I can't</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">believe somebody would be some I like</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">this now I think they are some of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the</font> biggest<font color="#E5E5E5"> nor they are they are in other</font> words if I write<font color="#CCCCCC"> about aggression</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> or I</font> write about<font color="#CCCCCC"> Envy or I write about</font> narcissism<font color="#E5E5E5"> every single human being that</font> has ever<font color="#CCCCCC"> lived is inside that circle we</font> all have that quality<font color="#E5E5E5"> and the worst type</font> of<font color="#E5E5E5"> people are those</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> who</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> say oh no it's</font> not me<font color="#E5E5E5"> I'm not</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a narcissist I'm not</font> aggressive <font color="#CCCCCC">I never</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> feel Envy it's not possible</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">explain why we are all narcissists why</font> we're all self-absorbed<font color="#CCCCCC"> it comes</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> from</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">the way that we are raised as children</font> and how<font color="#E5E5E5"> we need to feel validated for</font> ourselves<font color="#CCCCCC"> so people who claim that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">they're not narcissistic are generally</font> very<font color="#E5E5E5"> dangerous</font> I've seen them manipulate and divide in ways that<font color="#E5E5E5"> just makes no sense to me and</font> I<font color="#CCCCCC"> think they're extremely powerful when</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">it comes</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> down</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to persuasion I was like</font> you had some<font color="#E5E5E5"> personal experience yes</font> many<font color="#E5E5E5"> of them can</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you share one</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> so the</font> campaign let's just say if I'm dealing <font color="#E5E5E5">with you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and you did something that you</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">have</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to make a tough</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> decision okay</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">they'll go campaign</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> their sympathy</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font> not their sympathy their unfairness like that word it's so unfair and<font color="#CCCCCC"> I don't</font> know how to handle<font color="#E5E5E5"> this and I'm</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> coming</font> from this place and I'm trying<font color="#E5E5E5"> to and</font> I'm you know<font color="#E5E5E5"> going</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to church and I'm</font> going<font color="#E5E5E5"> through this and I'm really and</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">then people</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> like</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> oh my gosh Patrick</font> you're being unfair<font color="#CCCCCC"> and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I can't believe</font> you're<font color="#E5E5E5"> doing this coming from that and</font> maybe<font color="#E5E5E5"> you're</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> not understanding</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> on this</font> and up and like wait a minute<font color="#CCCCCC"> wait a</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">minute wait a minute this is an entirely</font> game being<font color="#CCCCCC"> played and in a year and a</font> half late everybody realized it was a game being played<font color="#E5E5E5"> and this isn't just</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">one instance this has happened multiple</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">different</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> times here's the crazy thing</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">these are good people</font> and typically the part that<font color="#E5E5E5"> I seat for</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">moralize errs leads me to the chapter</font> that<font color="#E5E5E5"> you're</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> talking</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> about here next I</font> think<font color="#E5E5E5"> I think more passive aggressive</font> hardcore but<font color="#E5E5E5"> demoralize errs to me are</font> people<font color="#CCCCCC"> that are</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> driven by</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> Envy</font> that's the challenge<font color="#CCCCCC"> for</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> me with</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">moralizer x' most people that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> come</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> from</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">a place of moralizer x' are now willing</font> to be<font color="#CCCCCC"> that guy shoppin heimer or the guy</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">talk</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> matter was a narcissist</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> at the</font> highest level<font color="#E5E5E5"> and says rather than me</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">being at a level 20</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> there you explained</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">it kind of like the book power</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> versus</font> force<font color="#CCCCCC"> I don't know if you've read power</font> versus force I think<font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> would love</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font> book<font color="#E5E5E5"> so rather than me you know trying</font> to be<font color="#E5E5E5"> this narcissist I'm gonna put</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> all</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">my energy</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> into work and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> see what I can</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">build</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and I look what he did later</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> on he</font> was against nuclear<font color="#E5E5E5"> all this other stuff</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">I think</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> moralizer</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> x' are not willing</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">put the work that's the challenge they</font> want that same attention<font color="#CCCCCC"> that some of</font> these people<font color="#E5E5E5"> get</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> in their lives with the</font> work<font color="#E5E5E5"> but they're frightened of putting</font> the work and so let's talk<font color="#E5E5E5"> about signs</font> of envy<font color="#E5E5E5"> okay so again I read this and</font> one<font color="#CCCCCC"> of my favorite things you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> do in this</font> book it's like<font color="#E5E5E5"> speaking</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to my father</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">when I go up</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and I say let me</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> tell</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">what</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> this person said let me</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> tell what</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">that person</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> there let me</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> tell you what</font> this<font color="#E5E5E5"> person said a my dad would come</font> back<font color="#E5E5E5"> and says but you did this but how</font> about what<font color="#E5E5E5"> you did but you caused this</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">but what inside only how could you say</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">that I'm your son but</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you did this why</font> are you only looking at<font color="#E5E5E5"> it from your</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">perspective right why are you thinking</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">it's the other person</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> right there's a</font> part of it<font color="#CCCCCC"> that's</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> on you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> as well and</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">that's a tough place could be father oh</font> he is so when I read signs of<font color="#E5E5E5"> envy it</font> takes me back<font color="#E5E5E5"> on every</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> element of myself</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">when I was</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> being extremely</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> lazy and</font> somebody was passing me up<font color="#CCCCCC"> and I had</font> some signs<font color="#E5E5E5"> I'm like oh my gosh all this</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">other stuff like when I was in high</font> school<font color="#CCCCCC"> or certain ages my life</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and I'm</font> like<font color="#E5E5E5"> I</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> realize how much of this</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> can</font> apply<font color="#E5E5E5"> to everybody so here's what you</font> talk<font color="#CCCCCC"> about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> science of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> NV poisonous</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">praise</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> backbiting the push-pull limit</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">right and then you go envious types the</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">leveler</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> which is sick</font> I'm gonna read the<font color="#CCCCCC"> leveller</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you say the</font> leveler<font color="#E5E5E5"> is the following when you first</font> meet them <font color="#CCCCCC">Levellers can seem rather entertaining</font> and interesting<font color="#CCCCCC"> they tend to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> have a</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">wicked sense</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of humor they are good at</font> putting down those who are<font color="#E5E5E5"> powerful</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and</font> deflating the pretensions<font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">pretentious they also seem to have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a</font> keen<font color="#CCCCCC"> nose for</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> injustice and unfairness</font> in the world<font color="#E5E5E5"> but where they differ from</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> work</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> from the people who are genuine</font> empathy for<font color="#CCCCCC"> underdogs is that Levellers</font> cannot recognize or appreciate excellence almost anyone particularly<font color="#E5E5E5"> those who are</font> life<font color="#E5E5E5"> they have delicate egos those who</font> have achieved<font color="#E5E5E5"> things in life make them</font> feel insecure they are<font color="#E5E5E5"> highly sensitive</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">to feelings and inferiority</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> they envy</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">initially feel</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> like just when you</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">explain</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> Levellers to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> me was like</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">unbelievable what what prompted you want</font> to write<font color="#E5E5E5"> about this that's one second</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">how does one watching this who maybe</font> secretly<font color="#CCCCCC"> deals with envy</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> but they don't</font> want<font color="#E5E5E5"> to publicly talk about the fact</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">they deal with their</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> because it's one of</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">the seven deadly sins Envy right</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> how</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">does one handle that how does one deal</font> with<font color="#E5E5E5"> that handle</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> one's own in theater</font> from<font color="#E5E5E5"> other people no no no forget about</font> other people so first let's address my own<font color="#E5E5E5"> I'm a moralizer right</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I keep playing</font> the card of<font color="#E5E5E5"> well life is not all about</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">this you know my connection and it's</font> this<font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I'm trying to be such a</font> moralizer type of human<font color="#CCCCCC"> being right and</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">these people are too ambitious and these</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">people are too much about wanting all</font> the attention<font color="#E5E5E5"> and I don't I don't want a</font> lot<font color="#CCCCCC"> of it I most people who</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> are like</font> that<font color="#CCCCCC"> there's</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> not no advice I can give</font> them that's who they<font color="#CCCCCC"> are they're locked</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">into that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> there are certain</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people who</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">are called envir types who because of</font> their childhood<font color="#E5E5E5"> they feel that they</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">always deserve more they're entitled to</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">have more from</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people they feel</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> like</font> they are privileged somehow they're not willing<font color="#E5E5E5"> to go out and do the work they</font> want<font color="#CCCCCC"> other people to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> give give give more</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">nothing's ever gonna change them it's</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">best that you recognize them</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and stay</font> away from<font color="#E5E5E5"> such types I saw you so they</font> can<font color="#CCCCCC"> be very destructive in the end of</font> that<font color="#E5E5E5"> chapter I have a key I have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a</font> section on<font color="#E5E5E5"> how to use in your own</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> envy</font> so the number first point is<font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font> recognize<font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you feel it to not be</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> in</font> denial<font color="#CCCCCC"> this book is about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> how</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you tend</font> to be in denial<font color="#CCCCCC"> Envy is one emotion that</font> almost no<font color="#E5E5E5"> one will ever</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> admit to because</font> to<font color="#E5E5E5"> admit to feeling</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> envy</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> is to admit</font> that you feel<font color="#CCCCCC"> inferior</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> another person</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">we don't like to do that we want to feel</font> superior<font color="#CCCCCC"> so no one will ever admit</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">they acted out</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of envy</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you Patrick</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">Amy</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> Robert we have done things out of</font> life out of<font color="#E5E5E5"> envy</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it's natural team</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">nature chimpanzees they've done studies</font> chimps and primates showed signs of envy what does it come from it comes<font color="#CCCCCC"> from</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font> fact that we're a<font color="#CCCCCC"> social animal</font> and we're<font color="#E5E5E5"> constantly comparing ourselves</font> to others<font color="#E5E5E5"> does he have more than I do is</font> he getting more<font color="#CCCCCC"> respect than</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I'm</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> getting</font> it's his car better<font color="#E5E5E5"> than mine is he have</font> more perks and privileges than I'm getting<font color="#CCCCCC"> how did you get into</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that</font> University and<font color="#CCCCCC"> I didn't we're all doing</font> it<font color="#E5E5E5"> stop denying that it's happening it's</font> how the brain<font color="#CCCCCC"> functions once you're</font> aware<font color="#CCCCCC"> that you actually feel Envy and</font> you're<font color="#E5E5E5"> finally honest with yourself then</font> you can move beyond it instead<font color="#E5E5E5"> of</font> constantly feeling<font color="#E5E5E5"> Envy for someone</font> who's powerful<font color="#CCCCCC"> turn that into</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> something</font> competitive<font color="#CCCCCC"> instead of like</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> being</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> angry</font> and deciding to sabotage them why don't <font color="#CCCCCC">you work on becoming better than them</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">using the fact that you feel inferior to</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">this person should</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> impale you to excel</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> be become better than</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> so you're</font> saying let the feeling of envy make you <font color="#E5E5E5">competitive to one out</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> do and out</font> compete and out<font color="#E5E5E5"> working out</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> is you're</font> not going<font color="#E5E5E5"> to get rid of envy</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it's the</font> silliest<font color="#E5E5E5"> idea that you're going</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font> somehow be<font color="#E5E5E5"> Gandhi and you're not</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> gonna</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">feel</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it you're gonna</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> feel it</font> but turn it<font color="#E5E5E5"> into something productive</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">and positive</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> over</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you know where you</font> actually<font color="#E5E5E5"> achieve something</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> yeah instead</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">of tearing</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people down</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and criticizing</font> them and moralizing<font color="#E5E5E5"> build something in</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">Excel use it as a force</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to make you</font> competitive<font color="#CCCCCC"> you always tend</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to compare</font> yourself<font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people who are more powerful</font> than<font color="#E5E5E5"> you why don't</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> look down</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> on the</font> scale<font color="#CCCCCC"> and look at</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> who were less</font> powerful<font color="#CCCCCC"> than</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you and compare yourself</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">to them</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> so that you could begin to</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">appreciate what</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you know oh</font> he's got so much better parents than I do<font color="#CCCCCC"> I wish I had a mother</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> like</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that well</font> look at your friend who had the worst kind<font color="#E5E5E5"> of mother and feel appreciative of</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">what you have it wasn't that bad so look</font> at the other side<font color="#CCCCCC"> and compare yourself</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">to people who have a much worse than you</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">and also</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> instead</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of feeling there's a</font> thing called schadenfreude<font color="#CCCCCC"> a--</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> which is</font> a form of<font color="#E5E5E5"> envy where if someone says</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">that they've had</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> bad experience it</font> almost makes<font color="#CCCCCC"> you feel happy inside</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you</font> get joy<font color="#CCCCCC"> from other people's pain</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> if your</font> friend doesn't get hired<font color="#E5E5E5"> for a job for a</font> moment you feel almost<font color="#CCCCCC"> kind</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> of happy</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">because what did you say that's called</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">that's</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> clawed</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> fried a</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> kind it's</font> German for<font color="#E5E5E5"> joy in pain feeling joy in</font> other people's<font color="#E5E5E5"> pain</font> it's a very big component of envy<font color="#E5E5E5"> you</font> like to read<font color="#CCCCCC"> about other</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people's</font> failings<font color="#E5E5E5"> in social</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> media</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> was the most</font> popular subject<font color="#E5E5E5"> some powerful person who</font> has a foible who fell<font color="#E5E5E5"> everyone loves</font> that<font color="#E5E5E5"> they feed off</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it's a feeding frenzy</font> that's schadenfreude<font color="#E5E5E5"> well you want to</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">have the opposite you want to develop</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">what we call mid Friday</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> which is</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> if</font> somebody has good news you actually feel joy for them<font color="#CCCCCC"> you don't</font> feel pain<font color="#E5E5E5"> that you don't feel envious</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> actually share their joy you open up</font> your spirit<font color="#E5E5E5"> these are not easy there no</font> no<font color="#E5E5E5"> Joe</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> Phil</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> Hellmuth talked about that</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">Phil him you talked about how a poker</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">player poker player feel</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> um you talked</font> about<font color="#E5E5E5"> how guy stole money from</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> them and</font> he sat<font color="#CCCCCC"> there and start thinking about</font> positive thoughts<font color="#CCCCCC"> about the guy and</font> eventually ended up being able to have a relationship<font color="#CCCCCC"> with this guy</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> because he</font> conditioned himself to start liking<font color="#E5E5E5"> this</font> guy<font color="#E5E5E5"> rather than having to resent and it</font> was the<font color="#E5E5E5"> hardest thing he had to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> overcome</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">and then once he overcame that then he</font> ended up<font color="#CCCCCC"> becoming the biggest bracelet</font> winner he's got 15<font color="#CCCCCC"> of them now so that</font> idea<font color="#CCCCCC"> what you're talking</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> about as easier</font> said than done<font color="#E5E5E5"> extremely different but</font> we work the<font color="#E5E5E5"> right word conditioning you</font> yes<font color="#E5E5E5"> dishing yourself to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> stand you can</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">train yourself</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to feel differently</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> so so</font> now let's talk about<font color="#E5E5E5"> the other side so</font> one is<font color="#E5E5E5"> how to handle my own</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> MB that have</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">four others how about when there's other</font> people that<font color="#E5E5E5"> are envious of my game and</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">what I'm</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> doing how do I handle</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font> because<font color="#CCCCCC"> especially</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> in a competitive</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">world when you come up I mean</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I'm sure a</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">lot of</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> Arthur's are</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> not happy about the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">fact that every time</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you put an ink on</font> paper you sell a New York Times <font color="#CCCCCC">bestseller I'm sure a guy like you</font> experienced<font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> as well I get</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it I get</font> tons of<font color="#E5E5E5"> envy so how do you handle it</font> coming in as a person that's growing<font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font> doing<font color="#E5E5E5"> bigger things in your life from</font> friends family<font color="#E5E5E5"> peers competitors well</font> first of all you have<font color="#CCCCCC"> to understand</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that</font> that's what<font color="#E5E5E5"> you're experiencing you know</font> people will disguise their<font color="#E5E5E5"> Envy they</font> will criticize you<font color="#E5E5E5"> they will say</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> oh</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">Patrick you you cheated your way to the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">top or you did this out of the other</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">your power you got to where</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you are</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> out</font> of some unfair means or<font color="#E5E5E5"> you don't really</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">deserve your success</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and you won't</font> recognize that as<font color="#E5E5E5"> envy they may be more</font> subtle<font color="#E5E5E5"> with their criticisms you'll</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">think that they're just</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> being critical</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">of you but they're trying to be honest</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">but in fact they are feeling deep them</font> out of envy<font color="#E5E5E5"> so the problem is</font> when<font color="#CCCCCC"> envy is</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> occurring</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> oftentimes you</font> don't<font color="#CCCCCC"> recognize that that's what's going</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">on</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you think</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people are just don't</font> like you<font color="#CCCCCC"> or</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> criticizing you as opposed</font> to the fact<font color="#CCCCCC"> that they are envious</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> of</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">your success so half</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the game is to</font> recognize<font color="#E5E5E5"> that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> people are feeling</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> this</font> emotion<font color="#E5E5E5"> and to not get dragged down</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> on</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">to their level</font> the other thing is to recognize<font color="#CCCCCC"> the</font> types of<font color="#E5E5E5"> people who</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> are toxic and Viers</font> so everybody<font color="#E5E5E5"> feels</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> Envy so if your</font> assistant<font color="#CCCCCC"> or somebody or colleague has a</font> bitchy comment<font color="#CCCCCC"> to you that hurts you and</font> that<font color="#CCCCCC"> company you feel comes from envy</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">it's probably best to just let it go</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> by</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">to do the Phil</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> Hellmuth's strategy and</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">to not take it personally and to</font> recognize<font color="#E5E5E5"> that Envy is like poison ivy</font> it's out there<font color="#E5E5E5"> it exists there's nothing</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you can do about it everybody feels it</font> just<font color="#CCCCCC"> accept</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> it in some people but then</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">they're the toxic types who are gonna</font> ruin your<font color="#E5E5E5"> life they're gonna become your</font> partner or your<font color="#E5E5E5"> friend</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> in order</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to wound</font> you<font color="#E5E5E5"> they feel Envy and they want it</font> their strategy is they're gonna become <font color="#E5E5E5">your assistant or your colleague or your</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">business partner or</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> your</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> wife do that</font> happens and they're gonna<font color="#E5E5E5"> end up trying</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">to sabotage you and ruin you that's</font> their strategy so you have to recognize people<font color="#CCCCCC"> who</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> were prone to feeling</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a lot</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">of envy</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and I give give</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> kind of a</font> code for<font color="#CCCCCC"> you give me a summary</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> give me a</font> bit<font color="#CCCCCC"> up because sometimes you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> have a</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">blind spot</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> right</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> love it love creates</font> blind spots<font color="#E5E5E5"> right</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> flattery creates blind</font> spot<font color="#E5E5E5"> you know all of these things</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> what a</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">blind spot so how do you what do you</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">look for okay well there's there's</font> there's<font color="#E5E5E5"> a very simple level I have a</font> chapter on<font color="#E5E5E5"> nonverbal communication very</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">big on that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> because we</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> humans</font> communicate<font color="#CCCCCC"> a lot through our body</font> language<font color="#CCCCCC"> and Vere's</font> will reveal themselves through what we call micro expressions<font color="#E5E5E5"> and I have a</font> strategy<font color="#CCCCCC"> you know this philosopher</font> advised<font color="#E5E5E5"> if you tell somebody suddenly</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you suspect that they're an interview</font> and you tell<font color="#E5E5E5"> them of some good news that</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">has</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> happened to you for</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a split second</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you will notice a slight frown on their</font> face a slight sign of unpleasantness like they swallowed a lemon<font color="#CCCCCC"> then of the</font> skies the smile<font color="#CCCCCC"> I swear if you're aware of it</font> you'll see it<font color="#E5E5E5"> on the other hand if you</font> tell them<font color="#E5E5E5"> something</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> bad happened oh I</font> got that<font color="#CCCCCC"> I</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> didn't get that job or I lost</font> you know the mortgage in my house<font color="#E5E5E5"> for a</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">moment you'll detect a slight smile</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> us</font> might look of pleasure<font color="#CCCCCC"> it only lasts for</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">half a second</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> there's a guy named Paul</font> Ekman who<font color="#CCCCCC"> writes about emotions</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and he's</font> coined the expression<font color="#E5E5E5"> micro-expressions</font> and he literally<font color="#E5E5E5"> can show you</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">photographs of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> what they look</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> like</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">they're</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> very fast and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> very because</font> people can't<font color="#E5E5E5"> help but feel a little bit</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">of excitement when you tell them bad</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">news or feel a little</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> bit of pain when</font> you tell them<font color="#CCCCCC"> something good about</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">yourselves then they disguise it so</font> that's one<font color="#E5E5E5"> way another way is that</font> people are praising you and it's<font color="#E5E5E5"> too</font> effusive<font color="#E5E5E5"> it doesn't feel justified</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it's</font> like they've<font color="#CCCCCC"> you've only known</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> them for</font> a week and<font color="#E5E5E5"> they're saying</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> God</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> Patrick</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> were the greatest</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> person I've ever</font> met you're so wise you're so it's<font color="#E5E5E5"> not</font> natural<font color="#CCCCCC"> to say for people to be</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> like</font> that it's natural<font color="#CCCCCC"> for</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> us when we meet</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">someone to be a</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> little wary around them</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">but if someone is suddenly praising you</font> and it doesn't<font color="#CCCCCC"> seem justified anything</font> that you've done<font color="#CCCCCC"> or said they're</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">probably disguising some Envy so if you</font> know somebody<font color="#E5E5E5"> who tells you gossip</font> gossipers or<font color="#CCCCCC"> envy types</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> so they share</font> with<font color="#E5E5E5"> you some gossip about somebody else</font> in the<font color="#CCCCCC"> business and it's okay</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> everybody</font> gossips<font color="#E5E5E5"> but if they're there do it a</font> little<font color="#CCCCCC"> too awful it's a little too</font> strong<font color="#CCCCCC"> a little too salacious</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> they're</font> probably<font color="#CCCCCC"> it's some point</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> gonna be</font> gossiping about you and so<font color="#E5E5E5"> that's a sure</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">sign that that they feel Envy toward the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">people that they're trying to criticize</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">this is why I say</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> this guy's manure</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">watching the first one we gotta order</font> this<font color="#E5E5E5"> book and read this entire book</font> cover<font color="#CCCCCC"> to cover</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> huh</font> I don't read his books<font color="#E5E5E5"> I study his books</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">I don't</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> just read this guy's books in</font> the world of business<font color="#CCCCCC"> if you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> don't do</font> realize<font color="#E5E5E5"> your number one product is</font> people you're gonna be<font color="#E5E5E5"> left behind so go</font> one more sign about the<font color="#CCCCCC"> envy think when</font> somebody's doing<font color="#E5E5E5"> it to you look said the</font> whole<font color="#E5E5E5"> thing your</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> timing when you ask a</font> question<font color="#CCCCCC"> and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> say you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> won't believe what</font> just<font color="#E5E5E5"> happened</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> in</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> my life and we</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> just had</font> a big promotion to see that subtle<font color="#CCCCCC"> half</font> a second or you know my wife and<font color="#CCCCCC"> I just</font> had<font color="#CCCCCC"> the worst argument ever I</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> think</font> things are<font color="#E5E5E5"> going in the wrong direction</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">in a subtle</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> thing to see</font> right it could<font color="#E5E5E5"> be a microexpression</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> or</font> it could also<font color="#CCCCCC"> be where they go with you</font> on that <font color="#CCCCCC">no I'm talking about you can actually</font> test<font color="#E5E5E5"> people's</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> n vehicle</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> my wife and I</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">just</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> had the worst argument</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> she's such a</font> bitch and then they go and they try and subtly make you feel even<font color="#CCCCCC"> worse about your wife</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">they're trying to sabotage you and</font> destroy<font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> natural reaction for me if</font> you<font color="#E5E5E5"> said I have this</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> terrible fight with</font> my wife<font color="#E5E5E5"> because I want</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to try and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> maybe</font> help you<font color="#E5E5E5"> repair it</font> get over<font color="#E5E5E5"> it deal with it this</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> envir is</font> gonna want to make<font color="#E5E5E5"> you feel worse</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and</font> you're not gonna<font color="#E5E5E5"> recognize that that's</font> what they're up<font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> they're gonna</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> go god</font> your wife is such a bitch you<font color="#E5E5E5"> really</font> should<font color="#CCCCCC"> think</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> about</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> leaving her</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you know</font> even though you<font color="#E5E5E5"> have</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> children or</font> whatever<font color="#E5E5E5"> or though they're gonna find OD</font> she was like that<font color="#CCCCCC"> in</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> argument I saw</font> her and she<font color="#E5E5E5"> was like this and she's</font> worse than<font color="#CCCCCC"> you think</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> so</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it's not</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> just</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">the microexpression fuel on fire it's</font> what they do afterwards<font color="#E5E5E5"> or if you have</font> some success<font color="#CCCCCC"> it's not just the</font> microexpression they'll find a<font color="#CCCCCC"> way of devaluing it so</font> for instance<font color="#CCCCCC"> for me personally I had</font> friends who<font color="#E5E5E5"> I suddenly had success with</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">the 48 laws of power</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and they'll go boy</font> that book is sure making<font color="#CCCCCC"> a lot of money</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">and the implication was</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I mean they said</font> it differently<font color="#CCCCCC"> was I wrote</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the book to</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">make money you know as a</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> put-down</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">but they're coining it</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> as kind</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of half</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">praise right well that's</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a sure sign</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">because</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> really what they're saying is</font> you're<font color="#E5E5E5"> just a soulless hack who wrote</font> your<font color="#CCCCCC"> book</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> not</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> because you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> believe in it</font> because<font color="#CCCCCC"> you want to make money so those</font> kind of comments<font color="#CCCCCC"> that get under your</font> skin<font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> make you think about yourself</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">and maybe I'm</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> not so good is actually</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">designed by the other we live in a</font> culture do you<font color="#E5E5E5"> call it out do you call</font> it out<font color="#E5E5E5"> well that happens or do you just</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">kind of put it store it</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and say got it</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">move on 95% of the time I store it and</font> move on but<font color="#E5E5E5"> sometimes I give them a</font> comeback<font color="#E5E5E5"> where I put it back</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> on them</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font> I sort<font color="#CCCCCC"> of turned the tables</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> because I</font> don't see you just taking it<font color="#E5E5E5"> all the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">time well sometimes you can't help it</font> take it it's like a friend or<font color="#CCCCCC"> somebody</font> you<font color="#E5E5E5"> don't want</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to offend and there's no</font> point in getting but I have my subtle digs my way of getting at them<font color="#E5E5E5"> you know I don't take it all</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the</font> time<font color="#CCCCCC"> so you know here's</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> what I did</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I had</font> I had a person<font color="#E5E5E5"> that we a long time ago I</font> work with and every time we had some <font color="#E5E5E5">kind of button a good news</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it would be</font> like hey<font color="#E5E5E5"> look at the email we just got</font> this person<font color="#E5E5E5"> wants to partner</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> with</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> us and</font> do this yeah it's probably<font color="#E5E5E5"> fake email</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> oh</font> look at<font color="#E5E5E5"> this other person they want</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font> do this is<font color="#E5E5E5"> odd they probably would never</font> do<font color="#CCCCCC"> anything like</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> yeah and then you know</font> what I realized I got<font color="#E5E5E5"> together with a</font> couple<font color="#CCCCCC"> of my</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> teammates and I said listen</font> moving forward no good news goes to this person<font color="#E5E5E5"> yeah no good news goes to this</font> person<font color="#CCCCCC"> just</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> keep it we'll deal with it</font> and we'll move on<font color="#E5E5E5"> because every time we</font> share it there's a negativity<font color="#E5E5E5"> that comes</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">back and we don't know where it's coming</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">from</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">it kind of adds up last thing here</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">know</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I Robert we can sit down</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">two</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> hours feels like five minutes</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> I</font> don't<font color="#E5E5E5"> even know time</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> goes by</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> right so a</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">couple</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> weeks ago</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> man Argentina and I'm</font> at this insurance conference<font color="#E5E5E5"> and we're</font> staying at this palace and<font color="#E5E5E5"> it's a nice</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">place born Osiris</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> for being spoiled</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font> having a good<font color="#E5E5E5"> time and all these seals</font> of insurance<font color="#CCCCCC"> companies</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> over there and on</font> one of<font color="#E5E5E5"> the sessions they start asking</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">about working with Millennials and how</font> do<font color="#E5E5E5"> you get</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> insurance agents Millennials</font> to become<font color="#E5E5E5"> insurance</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> agent so first all</font> you<font color="#E5E5E5"> have to realize life insurance is as</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">boring as</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it gets you know</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> for us when</font> we do what we do it's<font color="#CCCCCC"> not the most</font> exciting industry and it's been terrible because<font color="#CCCCCC"> a lot of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people don't</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> how</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">connect with</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> the next generation that's</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">been the biggest challenge the industry</font> is an insane industry more money's made in this industry and lives are changed <font color="#E5E5E5">because that's a great product today</font> insurance carriers are making products <font color="#E5E5E5">that a person can take advantage of</font> while<font color="#E5E5E5"> you're alive</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> so doctor tells you</font> got terminal illness or<font color="#CCCCCC"> chronic illness</font> you had six<font color="#E5E5E5"> hundred thousand dollar life</font> insurance policy now they're<font color="#E5E5E5"> giving you</font> the six hundred thousand<font color="#E5E5E5"> dollars to</font> enjoy while you're<font color="#E5E5E5"> alive before you die</font> things have innovated but they don't know how to connect<font color="#E5E5E5"> with the generations</font> right<font color="#E5E5E5"> so you study generations and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> see what happens boomers Gen X<font color="#E5E5E5"> Millennials all these</font> other things<font color="#CCCCCC"> what</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> are you seeing</font> happening<font color="#E5E5E5"> with a certain spirit that's</font> with these generations that we ought to <font color="#E5E5E5">pay</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> attention to to you know be able</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font> know<font color="#CCCCCC"> that next</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> generation needs this so</font> we can communicate<font color="#E5E5E5"> with these guys what</font> do we do<font color="#E5E5E5"> with that people in a</font> generation <font color="#CCCCCC">don't are gonna think differently than</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">you are</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> thinking it's a natural process</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">this goes back thousands of years</font> the oldest<font color="#E5E5E5"> recorded bit of history on some</font> tablets from<font color="#CCCCCC"> sumaré</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> like 9,000 years ago</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">are these young people nowadays are so</font> worthless<font color="#CCCCCC"> this is the worst generation</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">they're</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> not they're gonna make our</font> country fall apart<font color="#E5E5E5"> in other words the</font> present generation always<font color="#E5E5E5"> thinks the</font> previous generation is screwed up<font color="#E5E5E5"> not as</font> smart<font color="#E5E5E5"> not as</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> together</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> soft whatever</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">mm-hmm and I</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> think that the older</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">generation</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> is all also a problematic</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">everyone thinks that their generation is</font> superior<font color="#E5E5E5"> so you want to be aware of the</font> fact<font color="#E5E5E5"> that if you're</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> dealing with</font> Millennials<font color="#E5E5E5"> they're not inferior</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> they're</font> not superior they're just of a different generation<font color="#CCCCCC"> it's like an</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> animal that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">evolves in a different way and so</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> want<font color="#E5E5E5"> to be aware of what makes their</font> life different and where their values come from<font color="#CCCCCC"> if you're a gen Xer</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you valued</font> more<font color="#CCCCCC"> than anything</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> individualism</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font> grew up<font color="#E5E5E5"> in</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that period where your</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">parents were from the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> 60s generation and</font> they tend to not be<font color="#E5E5E5"> the best parents and</font> they often left you alone<font color="#CCCCCC"> eh yours might</font> have been different<font color="#CCCCCC"> but</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that was the</font> culture<font color="#E5E5E5"> that we lived in so people in</font> the<font color="#CCCCCC"> gen-x</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> generation</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> this has been</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">proven</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> by studies attempted</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to be much</font> value individualism and self-reliance <font color="#CCCCCC">Millennials are not</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> like that at all</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">they grew up</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> in the period of 9/11 and</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">the crash of 2008</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> they are very much</font> more<font color="#CCCCCC"> fearful</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> about it they don't let</font> necessarily believe<font color="#E5E5E5"> that they control</font> their<font color="#CCCCCC"> own destiny</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> they</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> think that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> there</font> are<font color="#E5E5E5"> a lot of forces out there that they</font> can't control<font color="#CCCCCC"> particularly when it comes</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">to like Wall Street and things like that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">and so they're</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> very wary and they're not</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">so so appealing to them as an individual</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">as</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> its kind of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> a gen Xer will fall on</font> deaf ears<font color="#CCCCCC"> they're much more attuned to</font> the social realm<font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> being around other</font> people<font color="#CCCCCC"> to causes Millennials are really</font> big on causes so you have to know their spirit<font color="#E5E5E5"> and know that if you're going to</font> try to<font color="#E5E5E5"> appeal to them and sell life</font> insurance<font color="#E5E5E5"> you're gonna have to approach</font> them<font color="#CCCCCC"> from a totally different angle</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> than</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">you approach somebody who's a</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> boomer or</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">Gen X you have to adapt to their spirit</font> and<font color="#E5E5E5"> not feel superior to them so I</font> explained in<font color="#E5E5E5"> the book how you kind of</font> create a profile<font color="#E5E5E5"> of that generation</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">they're also great books written about</font> Millennials that you can get to understand them and get out<font color="#CCCCCC"> of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> yourself</font> and<font color="#E5E5E5"> out of your way of thinking</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> they</font> don't<font color="#E5E5E5"> think the way that you</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and I</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> think</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">I when I grew up</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the first thing I</font> wanted to do was leave<font color="#E5E5E5"> my parents house</font> when I was 18<font color="#CCCCCC"> get the hell out of the</font> house and<font color="#E5E5E5"> be</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> on my own</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> in college have</font> everything for myself<font color="#CCCCCC"> Millennials don't</font> think that way<font color="#CCCCCC"> they'd like to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> stay at</font> home they're living in their house until they're 28<font color="#E5E5E5"> 30 years old they're afraid</font> of sometimes<font color="#E5E5E5"> they're afraid of</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">independence</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> they don't want to own a</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">car because it's gonna bring them down</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">to make them more</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> dependent they're</font> afraid of<font color="#E5E5E5"> it that's not a moral judgment</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">and I if I were millennial I would</font> probably<font color="#E5E5E5"> be the same</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> way it's just</font> different<font color="#E5E5E5"> they have other positive</font> traits<font color="#E5E5E5"> besides that they're more</font> community oriented<font color="#E5E5E5"> than a lot of people</font> from<font color="#E5E5E5"> my</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> generation</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> or Gen Xers but you</font> have to<font color="#CCCCCC"> recognize what makes them</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">different and not come at them from</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> your</font> moralizing<font color="#E5E5E5"> perspective it's so amazing</font> you say that because chip Wilson<font color="#CCCCCC"> two</font> days ago<font color="#E5E5E5"> said the following he said I</font> said your ideal customer you<font color="#CCCCCC"> are so</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">specific on who it is after research</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> in</font> this guy<font color="#E5E5E5"> it's a 32 year old woman born</font> on September<font color="#E5E5E5"> 28th who owns a cat</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> isn't</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">Mary takes care of her health but it's</font> thinking<font color="#CCCCCC"> about getting</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> married but she</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">doesn't have</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to</font> that's his ideal customer and the <font color="#CCCCCC">moments energy that's his that's his</font> customer yeah<font color="#E5E5E5"> and the moment he</font> identified<font color="#E5E5E5"> that to understand how</font> socially were changing all these things and listening to<font color="#E5E5E5"> everybody talking</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> about</font> yoga<font color="#CCCCCC"> help all these things he saw how</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">things are</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> changing</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and he capitalized</font> on it<font color="#CCCCCC"> yeah I think it's important to to</font> know generationally one time Time magazine did an<font color="#E5E5E5"> article I</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> think</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> 25</font> years ago<font color="#E5E5E5"> was titled a narcissistic</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">generation and he said you know the</font> Millennials are there says<font color="#CCCCCC"> dad is this</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">six pages</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> they're saying all this other</font> stuff<font color="#E5E5E5"> but then at the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> end it says</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> if you</font> are<font color="#E5E5E5"> saying</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that this generation</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> is</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> lazy</font> they don't<font color="#E5E5E5"> appreciate this they don't</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">appreciate they don't appreciate this</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">all you're saying is that you're</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> getting</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">older yes at one point you were like</font> them<font color="#CCCCCC"> yeah</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and I thought it was a great</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">ending to an article with Time magazine</font> so again Robert<font color="#E5E5E5"> you and I can talk</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> for</font> hours and<font color="#CCCCCC"> I</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> think everybody ought</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font> read this book laws<font color="#E5E5E5"> of human nature and</font> matter<font color="#E5E5E5"> of fact one of the things</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> I would</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">want</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to do is if you wouldn't mind</font> signing a<font color="#CCCCCC"> couple copies</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> of the book</font> anybody out<font color="#CCCCCC"> there who goes buys the book</font> on Amazon<font color="#CCCCCC"> and you post</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> a</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> picture of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font> fact<font color="#CCCCCC"> that you purchased a</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> book and you</font> send<font color="#E5E5E5"> it to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> us tweet it at</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> Robert Greene</font> and<font color="#CCCCCC"> myself his handle is right</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">underneath this picture</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you see my</font> handle as well<font color="#CCCCCC"> we're gonna send how</font> about to sign copies<font color="#E5E5E5"> we sent</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to folks as</font> long as they purchased a copy they tweet you and I<font color="#E5E5E5"> you're</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> like one of them and</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">we'll send a copy to them if you're okay</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">with that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> you okay with that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> okay and if</font> you<font color="#E5E5E5"> haven't watched the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> first</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> sit-down</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">Robert and I did that had to do with</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> 40</font> laws of power and 33 strategies of war<font color="#CCCCCC"> I</font> highly<font color="#E5E5E5"> recommend you click on the link</font> somewhere<font color="#CCCCCC"> here on the page</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to go watch</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">that interview</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> as well because it'll go</font> different direction<font color="#E5E5E5"> that we went with</font> his prior books that he's read I<font color="#CCCCCC"> think</font> you don't need<font color="#E5E5E5"> to just order one book I</font> think<font color="#CCCCCC"> whoever that's a true value Taner</font> go order<font color="#E5E5E5"> those five books every single</font> one<font color="#E5E5E5"> of them</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> mass 333</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> strategies</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> for T</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">lost art of seduction</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and this 150th</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> lot</font> is a book I know<font color="#E5E5E5"> you'll like a lot but</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">I'm talking entrepreneurs those five I</font> recommend you order<font color="#E5E5E5"> every single one I'm</font> slowly but surely<font color="#E5E5E5"> start reading them</font> having said<font color="#E5E5E5"> that brother</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> thank you so</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">much every time truly</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> thanks so much</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">really enjoy it yes thank you</font>
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Keywords: Entrepreneur, valuetainment, patrick bet david, laws of human nature, robert greene interview, robert greene new book, laws of human nature interview, patrick bet david robert greene, human nature, human nature psychology, why we do what we do, Laws of Human Nature Dissected by Robert Greene, 33 stragtegies of war, 48 laws of power, 50th law, mastery
Id: dpXXTzId7LM
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Length: 71min 59sec (4319 seconds)
Published: Thu Nov 08 2018
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