Kristen Bell on Fights with Husband Dax Shepard

because when we first met we fell madly in love and I loved the dramatic exit there's nothing I craved more than like you know the first year you're working out your kinks I loved it I would like we'd get in a fight cuz we would fight a lot and I'd like yell something that I'd slam the bedroom door then I'd slam the front door and I get in my car and then I'd skid out the driveway and then it just goes like sit around the corner in my car and it felt so good and I realized how incredibly toxic it was only after he pointed it out three months into our relationship he was like yeah you can't um you can't leave anymore during fights I'm not gonna do that and I was like what he's like you can't do that I'm not gonna have a relationship he has a very high standard Wow that's a strong code of ethics he's like no I have more respect for myself than to be an I love you but I'm not gonna do that my whole life and I was like was that attractive when he said that so then he said but but here's how evolved he is he said let's just help you you're not a good fighter and I was and I always thought I was because you won right he's like no people can't do that what our marriage won't survive and everything he was saying was making so much sense and I was like damn this guy well he's an exception to the rule it sounds like yeah but it's not too stupid to have thought about it means people can get there so he said how about the next time we fight you're allowed to leave the room but not the house and I was like okay fine the next fight I left the room I slam the bedroom door couldn't leave the front door and I'm standing at the front door when like I want to leave so bad but I really love him and he told me I couldn't and he said it was a deal breaker for him so I got to stay in the house I got a compromise did he have the little white flags up like for the dog fence well you couldn't go past them he might had me dead in my head exact it was and because I knew that he said to me I have more respect for myself than to do this my whole life so then the next time we fought he was like now that you've done that he's like now you can't leave the room he's like you can stop talking but you can't leave the room so then we'd like have an argument and I just sit there and then I'd like mean just like cuz I didn't want to talk to him anymore but I would like text him this is getting very personal guys no this is this is fascinating going because what I'm realizing is that it sounds you're supposed to be training him and you kind of got ready you got trains I got majorly trained g-wiz I'm attracted to it okay but and now we fight beautifully we cannot we actually disagree about 99% of the things on the planet but we have an ultimate respect for each other and he sort of said no we're allowed to disagree you just can't be like crazy when we're fighting

Channel: Harry Connick, Jr.

Views: 755,393

Rating: 4.9463329 out of 5

Keywords: Harry Connick Jr., Harry, HCJ, HarryTV, Harry TV, daytime, show, television, interviews, comedy, music, celebrity, kristen bell, dax shepard

Id: znFvQx9GRo0

Length: 2min 46sec (166 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 27 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/g_e_m_anscombe]

I think the most helpful rule for us is the opposite of many people’s rule: we’re allowed to sleep on it.

Between my husband’s sleep apnea and my Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, we both can be way more exhausted than normal people. Sometimes we can’t find an avenue for compromise and we’re feeling grumpy because we’re tired. We don’t “go to bed angry” but we also have learned to leave things unresolved and to sort things out the next day. This prevents us from saying things we regret and helps us to see new avenues for resolution.

We also don’t have fights over text. If it becomes clear we disagree about something and we noticed things are becoming emotionally charged at all, we resolve to discuss later in person.

[u/jack_hammarred]

I love Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard. I like seeing a couple who at least appear to have a loving, supportive marriage and present a unified front.

The video is short but it got me thinking about the rules my boyfriend set for us (..me) early on:

• no going to bed angry
• when your mind runs away with you, don’t run so far I cannot catch you
• do not make work for other people
• I decide what you are (not good enough, too much, etc.) and you can’t do that for me

These have mitigated so many issues, or at least laid a clear framework of really important boundaries.

What rules did your man set? What rules have you set for yourself as far as your relationship (past, current, future alike) is concerned? How do those rules add value?

[u/StingrayVC]

He said, "I have more respect for myself than that." It was a deal breaker for him. And what did she do? She decided she didn't want to lose him. She knows he is the prize, because he's not afraid and respects himself too much to put up with crazy.

And FFS, what does Harry Connick Jr. do? Tries to turn it around. "Wait, you're supposed to be training him!" And calls himself stupid.

I love, love, love how she talks about him, how she politely contradicts HCJ and not only sticks up for her husband, but does it in a classy way and makes him look very good and attractive.

EDIT: HAHA! I just watched it again and caught where HCJ asked if it was attractive when Dax told her he wouldn't stay with someone who behaved that way and she dramatically mouthed, "Very" This interview is so perfect!

[u/whitcris]

We try to recognize when we are hungry. And by we, I mostly mean me...any time I start to get crabby he asks if I've eaten. :D

Be conscientious of each other's annoying habits. He knows I find it annoying when he throws his clothes outside the hamper and i know he finds it annoying to leave clothes rumpled in the dryer. So we each try not to do those things to begin with.

And finally, just don't nag. It doesn't help!! Sometimes you just have to let it go!

[u/tempintheeastbay]

A quote from her in another interview:

“It’s all about contempt. Never roll your eyes at someone,” she told Us. “You might as well break up right then because its contempt. I’m telling you — I disagree with him on almost everything, but I have intense respect for his critical thinking skills and the fact that we were raised differently. I always see his point. I do not and will not ever have contempt for him.”

[u/LaurelWoods93]

I love Kristen and Dax, I think they fit together so well.:)

I'm a very carefree, happy person with a laid back personality, my husband is type A and definitely the head of the household, lol. We don't fight much because we get on so well, but every so often when we disagree, we usually can talk it out rationally without yelling. I hate yelling and loud households because I grew up in one.

If we can't agree to disagree or are grumpy (usually him when he's hungry/tired, lol) there's confrontation and a little backtalk, but never a personal attack or namecalling. We're never hateful to each other, it'd be a deal breaker for us both if we constantly did that.

If we fight before bed, he and I both can't sleep and usually end up cuddling and apologizing 10 minutes later. Its easy because we try to see each other's sides about 90% of the time. I was blessed with him:)

[u/tempintheeastbay]

This was SUCH a charming video. They've always struck me as an incredibly RP couple.

EDIT: watched some more interviews and Dax seems incredibly charming and confident, can definitely see him as a leader in their relationship, which is unusual, because in most celebrity couples where 1 partner has significantly more work than the other, it seems unbalanced.

[u/Hartley7]

-No nagging. -No harping on the past. This has been an issue for me for years. I finally stopped doing that because I realized that holding a grudge was childish and unhelpful. -Always apologize when you're wrong.

[u/reddishrobin]

We don't yell at each other any more. When things start to get heated, one of us walks away and goes to another room until we both calm down and can discuss it rationally. When he starts getting angry at me, I walk away. He always calms down after a while and apologises