Howdy-doody, everyone! Wambu here! You know what's great? People. Humanity. You might disagree -- (lord knows there's a LOT OF REASONS TO DISAGREE) -- but at the end of the day, there's nothing like a true friend to talk to, play video games with, maybe grab a bite to eat with, maybe make fun of all the hard work you put into your videos. YOU'RE AN *ASSHOLE*, STEVE. Someone... should make a video game... that's all about making friends. Forcefully. To help you solve puzzles, and fight eldritch horrors. Oh, Kirby, you never let me down. Yeah, I'm late to the party on this one, but to be fair, punctuality is my rival clan, and I will tear them down at any cost. Y'know, surprisingly, I was actually kind of disappointed with Star Allies. There was a lot that excited me, but the main story just felt too short. I was ready to write this off as the weakest of the modern Kirby games... and then THEY showed up. I remember once making the criticism that the Kirby franchise celebrates itself too much, and it's kind of just tired at this point? Consider my nonexistent mouth SHUT! Nothing felt like a more welcome addition to this game than seeing a slew of... friendly... faces...? [uncertain grunting] [even more uncertain grunting] [lower, more emphasized uncertain grunting] Seeing a slew of faces from previous games return gloriously in playable iteration. So I'm here to do what I always do. I'm taking all 13 of these so-called "Dream Friends" and putting them in order from least favorite to favorite! Any rules? No. HAH! So not gonna lie, this is one of the hardest lists I've ever ranked. When trying out every Dream Friend again for this list, I found I liked 'em all a lot better than I thought I did, to the point where I have a pretty positive opinion of all of them... and I only make this disclaimer... to soften the blow for when I destroy you all. Everybody's favorite pompous penguin piECE OF SHIT -- I feel like being Dedede-structive. So I must say I never cared all that much for Dedede as a character, save for some passive enjoyment in Smash, and also the cartoon; he was funny in that. "How can I help you, King Dedede?" "I need a monstah to CLOBBAH dat dere--" [Wambu, doing a Dedede impression] Wambu. 'Cause fuck that guy. It's not like I don't get why people love him, though! Dedede, in short, is a more interesting repackaging of Hammer. Virtually the same in a lot of ways, but with some extra Dedede-esque attacks thrown in for a more personal touch. And I do like the Hammer ability a lot, even if it has been waning on me in more recent games; the appeal has always been the insane power, and Dedede CERTAINLY brings that. Lord knows I would never take that away from him. And admittedly, I like his newer moves too, like the Super Dedede Jump and the head slide. Somehow the head slide hits me in, like, every Dedede boss fight, so being the one to use it instead is 100% Wamboy catharsis. The big problem for me is that his play style is kinda rigid and not all that exciting. He's pretty slow and doesn't carry momentum all that well, especially not in the air. My guy. What are you even doing. His short range also makes it difficult to take advantage of some of his most powerful moves, and while I appreciate elemental variance for ANY character, I don't really feel like they shake things up with the ability enough -- relative to those higher on the list, at least. But if you're one of those people that likes all the raw strength, then, y'know, more power to you. ... Cool. Also, this is irrelevant, but while even I can acknowledge that Dedede is typically a very dynamic presence, in this game in particular, he just looks perpetually fuckin' pissed. The boy is legit about to throw down, and given where I placed him, I'm a tad worried that I might have done this to him. You had some crazy competition, okay? Don't look at me with those big ol'... penguin eyes. God forbid it bite you. Spider bite hurt! HURT, spider bite! That's three Wambu points to anyone who gets that reference. Damn it, Taranza! You were so close to being not second-to-last. You have a move that's just called Pop Off! What the hell happened? Now, unlike Dedede, Taranza is NOT a repackaging of an old ability. He's a repackaging of a NEW ability. And while I like Spider just fine, it definitely needed some more utility, which Taranza thankfully provides. Kinda. You get access to... one element, and some of your attacks can go through walls, which -- Yeah, I guess that's pretty good? I think the most exciting part of Taranza is how much he plays with the geometry of the levels, and how much screen-clearing potential he has as a result of it. You get moves like the Taranza Ball that naturally bounce around, but then you can also web up normal enemies and go for a field goal with 'em. And if that's not enough, Taranza also summons the phantom of Queen Sectonia, and it just fff-- F U C K S But in spite of all that destructive power, Taranza's biggest issue is that so many of these moves leave him pretty stationary, or at least slow-moving, and none of them really combo into each other all that fluidly, rendering moves like the Dreamstalk or Web Hold as kinda just novel puzzle-solvers compared to the bigger screen clearers. Too much of the moveset is very one-and-done or just kinda situational, making for a character that's still fun, but not as satisfying as he could be. Even the Friend Bounce is kind of an underwhelming power. That's the opposite of what a web is supposed to do. You are a TERRIBLE spider, Taranza. So when I said that all the Dream Friends grew on me, I-- really meant it, because the eleven that remain are the ones that I truly do love a lot. And I have to live with the fact that a few of them are gonna rank near the bottom, but you know what? Let's not let that get in the way. We're gonna have the most positive... ... number 11 out of 13 entry anyone's ever seen. Nooooo, not like THIS. Squeak Squad's one of my favorites, though! Positivity, Wambu. Don't go back on your word already. Daroach's presence in Star Allies is one that just tickles me. In terms of fanservice to the source game, I think he's one of the most satisfying. A ton of his attacks are taken wholesale from his boss fight, like the Ice Laser, the Triple Star, and the Fire Bomb, and they're as much of a destructive spectacle as they were then. They also somehow put all the Squeaks into one move, and they even worked the Squeakers in there. Storo, being the big boy of the group, makes use of his weight, Doc goes through walls and provides the zappies, and Spinni solves puzzles that are obviously designed for Spinni. Also, Dark Nebula comes out of a chest. That's a fun little reference to some trauma. It's actually my favorite move, by the way. Whether you hold it up or throw it, I've never decimated someone with a callback so dorky. The real Dark Nebula was a garbage can! Why is this one so good? But the reason Daroach is number 11... is 'cause someone has to be, and I feel like hating myself. Actual critique, though: Daroach doesn't have a consistent Friend Ability. He just kind of does a pose, which, y'know... cool. Very stylin'. But the bigger problem for me here is that he feels a tad too charge-based. If you're just trying to do some quick damage... ... he's a bit underwhelming, unless we're talking the Triple Star or the jack-in-the-box. A lot of his more noteworthy moves take some time to pull off, and he can feel a bit tedious as a result, but all in all, I'd say he's earned his spot! He truly is the... 11th best Dream Friend in the game! (That still sounds wrong.) [heavy breathing] Oh, hi there. I haven't seen you around these parts since twenty-zero-zero. It's not like I missed you a LOT -- Standing tall as the proud reps of my favorite 64 title, and also Dream Land 3, technically, no character return was more joyous for me than this, and they even made the top 10. I'm so proud of you. This wasn't always the case, actually. When I first played them, I was remarkably underwhelmed. A partial repackaging of the Artist ability with a lackluster, albeit faithful dash attack, a kind of cumbersome standard move, and MORE damage taken? Clearly, they didn't do my girl justice... until I remembered, Oh, yeah! First impressions are everything -- WRONG WITH THE WORLD. They're dumb, and wrong, and Adeleine is actually amazing. Big reason: "I'm alfresco, ace." It's one of, if not the only team healing move amongst the Dream Friends. I think I have that right? I hope I have that right. Regardless, it's one hell of a lifesaver at the best of times. Another big reason: Ribbon's offerings to the moveset aren't too bad! Fairy Dance is a cute and useful anti-air, and there's also a nice aerial projectile in the Crystal Gun, which is... certainly a reference? Anyway, the two characters mixed together super well, leaving pretty much no reason to create an individual ranking for 'em -- Ribbon, Adeleine. But the big game-changer here is the Ado's Painter move, where Adeleine creates and mounts minibosses from her Dreamland 3 fight, namely Kracko, Ice Dragon, and Waiu. Each of these three are the biggest source of power, utility, and defense that the duo has got. Kracko gets free range of movement plus some radial zapping moves, Ice Dragon is a close-quarters powerhouse with some handy freezing moves, and Waiu is a jumpy ninja that's heavy on projectiles. All three are crazy destructive in the right hands, and have their own specific practical uses, leaving no... real reason to... rank 'em individually -- Waiu, Kracko, Ice Dragon -- and while they all dissipate in just one hit, it's of no consequence whatsoever to your HP, turning an otherwise frail character into one with some really good survivability. Honestly, the biggest issue might just be that the duo is too reliant on the Ado's Painter drawings. If the default moveset in general was built on these guys, it could maybe be more cohesive and excused as a thematic element of the character as a whole, but as is, they're all a part of the same move, and that can feel a tiny bit awkward. Disregarding that, Adeleine is a beautiful bean, and if you say anything bad about her, I'll FUCKING eradicate you. You're NOTHING compared to her, okay? N O T H I N G . Seriously, though, I tried not to be too biased, 'cause Adeleine could have honestly been the worst character ever, and I'd still be overjoyed about this. Don't you EVER leave again. [sigh] I made this list so that some of my close affiliates would hate me. After all, Planet Robobot is a very beloved game, and Susie is a beloved character along with it, so some of you might be disappointed that she's not higher -- but I put Daroach and Adeleine even lower; you ain't been through shit! Check your privilege, why don't you? Yeah, so Susie in this game is basically good for every reason, and she deserves every bit of love. Surprise. And when I say that, I mean she's good in the most blatant and straightforward way possible. She decimates enemies, and she potentially solves almost every puzzle, no sweat. In an objective sense, there's, like, nothing wrong with her. Her base form is mostly just her blaster and her propellers, which is used in tandem to give her this fun side-scrolling space shooter feel that none of the other Dream Friends really have. They even lifted a move from Jet that was already amazing and made it even better! And, like... you didn't need to do that... ... but I love it... and I love you... ... and yet, the real "pizza resistance" (it's French for lactose-intolerant) is the business suit. This is where you can pretty much do everything. You have the power to cut things, you have the power to punch down stakes, you have the power... to... you have the power! And remember that everything I've brought up can be modulated with the different elements, and it actually does change up the properties quite a lot. Bluster basically allows the mech to fly, Simmer [*Sizzle] gives her a straight-up flamethrower, and Zap... It's nasty. Just take my word on that one. Even her little headpiece changes, which don't mean shit; it's just really cute. My main criticism of Susie, however, is that she's kind of just a little too straightforward. Once it clicks that this is just that but in the air, and all of this is basically just one move, you get the full course pretty quickly. And being honest, the drill bit and driver slam do have their uses, but if you're in the mech, then you're mostly just using the spin cycle constantly. Also, I'm not exactly saying this is a problem for me, but hypothetically, if someone were to complain about how often you have to switch the mech on and off, I don't know if I would agree, necessarily, but I can't exactly say that I would 100% disagree with it either. I mean, it certainly doesn't bother me all that much, [running out of breath] but if it ended up being a deal-breaker to someone else, I wouldn't exactly be inclined to convince them otherwise, and -- Can you still hear me from this hole I've dug myself in? Okay, cool! Basically, what I mean is... Susie is good. This is irrefutable objectivity, and media criticism is in shambles. Moving on! Fight me. Can we just get some good old-fashioned swords up in this bitch, PLEASE? Thank you, Meta Knight. Your services are always appreciated. I am the bread knife. You are my breakfast. Get over here and face your destiny. I've heard Meta Knight described as a mishmash of the Wing and Sword ability. Personally, I find that reductive, and unfair, [laughing] and true. That's not to say he's unoriginal, but he does feel like what you would get if you mixed those two abilities without directly recycling the moveset too much. He's got the aerial prowess of Wing and the sword of Sword. Like, the sword. Y'know... ... sword? The swORD-- What's funny is that Meta Knight never really seemed to adapt the easier fluidity of the normal Sword ability. All of his attacks feel much more glancing, even the flurry attack. It's quite a distinction from his Smash iteration, which is kind of a goat. I prefer it this way, though. I like the extra oomph, especially with all the elemental variants taken into account. They even gave him a flashy counter that wins in many ways, but just a warning from the experts: it's fucking hilarious when used horrendously. If I were to nitpick, there is still the occasional move that maybe could have been changed up in more interesting ways? I prefer the Leaping Slash as opposed to just a generic up-thrust, and the Condor Dive, while cool, doesn't really feel like a very cohesive part of the moveset. I'mma keep it 100% real, though -- Meta Knight is this high because of the Shuttle Loop. It might just be my favorite move in the game. It's really fun, it combos from and into the rest of his moveset easily, and it's unquestionably his best and most enjoyable way of moving around. It's also the move that probably changes up the most based on what element you have. Sizzle is easily my favorite version, letting you cut through the air like a giant fuckin' eagle... [rap instrumental] ... or I don't know. In fact, I had Meta Knight significantly lower on this list before I became grossly infatuated with this move. Moral of the story is that I'm an enabler to my own addictions, but it's fine because my addictions are fucking rad. Now, hold on. Y'all weren't in any of the previous games. What gives you the RIGHT? Well, that's just excessive! I'll take it! One of the funner things about the concept of the Dream Friends is seeing previous antagonists from the series come back in playable fashions, with stripped back, but still nutty movesets from their boss fights. They didn't give two iotas of a SHIT about the Mage Sisters, though. Their moves are EXACTLY like their boss fights, minus a lot of the startup times, so... ... they're even better. It's genuinely the most insane power trip out of any Dream Friend. Three boss characters, all with their own unique movesets, but all with ridiculous power, area coverage, and crazy command over the elements, topped with the power to switch to any one at any time. There's Francisca, who uses ice and has some of the more ridiculous ranged moves, Flamberge has a brutal fire sword that can straight-up fling enemies, and then there's electricity with Zan Partizanne, who's the fastest and also has UTTERLY disrespectful reach. All of them are really good individually, but someone, for some reason, decided it was fair to put them as part of the same package, leaving no reason for anyone like me to rank 'em individually -- Flamberge, Zan, Francisca. Y'know what's really missing, though? A screen-clearing Friend Attack that you don't even need allies to pull off! That is... ... so required? To be totally fair, this is their debut game, so why not make 'em this dominant, I suppose? Let me lay it down for you, though. We've got a normal kill, and then you've got overkill, and then you've got extinction, and then you've got planetary-level annihilation, and then you've got the Three Mage Sisters. Oh, my god. The first Wave 1 DLC Dream Friend I've touched on so far, and he's in the top 6. Don't think the contention of an entry like this is lost on me. I know a lot of people would slot Gooey among the worst of the Dream Friends; I put him this high as a power move. Gooey deserves love, and nurturing, and honor, so let's start with what everyone doesn't like about him: most of his moves are taken from other abilities. His tongue is basically just Whip, the fireball is taken from the Burning ability, Stone Gooey... is from Stone. Even his Friend Moves are shared with Fighting, Suplex, and again, Stone. He's a scattered mixture of other abilities with not even a fresh coat of paint, just a pair of great googly peepers glued on. It's not stealing; it's sampling. I'm sorry your intellect isn't high enough to understand art! I take the piss, but make no mistake. I am legitimately vouching for this design choice. Gooey WAS the second player to Kirby. He had mostly the same powers, so for him to take moves from other copy abilities? It's in character; it makes sense. The wider justification here, however, is that aside from Fighting, the abilities he stole from are all conceptually interesting, but sort of boring in execution. Maybe you love the moves that are taken from Whip and Stone, but when they're the foundation for an entire ability, it leaves them feeling mostly situational. With Gooey, though, it's just another move! So you get the practical application and the chaotic fun of several abilities put into just one guy, and also made funnier. You can make jabs at the tongue all you like, but who else can take an electric sawblade and [Yoshi tongue noise] it out of existence? I ASK you. It's not like Gooey is TOTALLY void of originality, though. He can also fly through the air and fire zappy projectiles everywhere, because it turns out he's a Dark Matter. Seriously, it's the closest we get to playing as Dark Matter, and it came from god damn Gooey. It gives him some interesting and fairly unique aerial mechanics, so whatever, I guess I'll take it. if there's one thing I don't entirely get it's that Pitch, Chuchu, and Nago probably COULD have been incorporated into Gooey's moveset fairly easily, and with sensible reasoning, but for some reason, they were... relegated to the Clean ability instead? It probably would have abated a lot of the criticisms I talked about earlier, but... eh! I really like the googly blob of rehashed abilities that no one likes. For the three other Gooey fans watching, today is our day. Look. I have my biases, but I tried to be as honest as possible with this list. It took all of my mental energy not to rank certain friends higher up, specifically because they were repping some of my favorite games. This is why Squeak Squad and Crystal Shards unfortunately ranked relatively low, and if I had to do that one more time, I don't think I would have been able to take it. Return to Dreamland... I'm so glad you came through. I will preach it to the high heavens FOREVER. Return to Dreamland is the best of the modern era Kirby games, and Magolor probably my favorite boss fight in the franchise. It's about time! I wanted to play as you since I killed you back in 2011! What I loved about that fight was that every attack from Magolor felt so ethereal and otherworldly. Threatening as hell, but also just a very interesting and alien spectacle. That's a big part of why Magolor works so well as a playable character here. His attacks do have the startup time and focuses on charge that I complained about with Taranza and Daroach, but the payoff is always super strong. Whether we're talking about the Revolution Flame, the Ultra Sword, especially the Black Hole or the Double Deadly Needles Deluxe. I can't make up a name that dumb. It's the kind of thing where you can much more easily excuse a lack of comboability, because any individual move that connects will more than suffice in the damage department. And if it's not those things, it's the extra layers of cheekiness that fill my heart with love. I haven't found all that much practical use for the Gem Apple Bombs, but they make Magolor smile, and I kind of have a soft spot for personal touches like that. Not everything I like has to be good, okay!? Magolor can also just sort of go intangible whenever the fuck you feel like it. There's surprisingly little punishment for doing so, and it's even effective as an attacking move. It's highkey the most disgusting attack Magolor has, but disgusting in a good sort of way, but good in a "fuck you" sort of way, but "fuck you" in an... "I love you" sort of wa-- [LOUD GASP] [raspy] THE LOR STARCUTTERRRR Magoloran Lau-- wh-- oh my fucking goooood I forgive you for everything, Magolor. The whole Master Crown thing? Water under the bridge. It's like the old saying goes: your enemy today could be your friend... [sputtering] in 8 years. This is truly the best timeline. Ah, yes. I too remember when Meta Knight went through a goth phase. Coming in as the rep for a game that I was significantly colder on than most, And apparently thirsty for some of that ᴊᴀᴍʙᴀ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇ, Dark Meta Knight was the inclusion that I didn't expect to absolutely LOVE. While Meta Knight was a mixture of Sword and Wing, Dark Meta Knight combined Sword and Mirror. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the Shuttle Loop, though, which should put him below Meta Knight automatically, which is why he's now number 9. To give Dark Meta Knight a lot of credit, though, he's one of the most satisfying iterations of a Sword ability that we've gotten in a long time. He's got that same glancing power I commended with normal Meta Knight, as well as the elemental variance, But he's also got some good range and comboability with generally more flair. Just take a look at Dark Caliber. Hey, yo -- calm down, my guy. Yeah, I guess the lack of Shuttle Loop ain't a huge deal when you've got everything else going for you. You know what? Bump him up to number 8. Wait, make it #8 Echo, because Meta Knight was also #8? Perfect. Funny thing is he doesn't actually play all that much like Meta Knight, in spite of having pretty much the same weapon. It turns out the influence of Mirror is pretty huge, giving him access to more elaborate AOE moves and being able to use Mirror Portals to duplicate and extend the blade way beyond its natural reach. It's quite an enhancement to the defense as well. After all, we are talking about mirrors in a Nintendo game. What do you think they do? If your answer was reflect projectiles, then... ... congratulations, you don't live under a rock! It might be obvious, but it's still a large part of his appeal. Overwhelm your enemies with crazy slashes at every angle, while also having that option to turn your foes' attacks against them? You know, I think he actually is kind of better than normal Meta Knight after all, so I've decided to give him the honorary spot of my favorite number, which is 4. See, that makes a ton of sense. I should have just started with that. Hey, maybe a Dark Wambu would have been able to pull this off better. [pop] [backwards "howdy-doody"], everyone! Dark Wambu here! And today, we're gonna be counting UP my BOTTOM 10 best materials! Metal is a material that went fro-- [Wambu] Never mind, this was a dumb idea. Moving on. Fucking duh. Can I count this as another Return to Dreamland rep? 'Cause I'd feel a lot better about snubbing Magolor from top three that way. Bandana Dee has been my beautiful round squish (THAT SHOULD BE IN SMASH) for ages now, but I'm half of the mind that he fuckin' cheated for this go-around. Elephant in the room, thy name is Spear? Even though I've always seen Bandana Dee as the main ambassador of that ability, I would and probably should be critical towards the naked repackaging of it, but Spear doesn't fucking exist anymore! Only the Dee stands proud as the sole wielder of the Spear now, making him totally unique, technically, within the context of Star Allies? But in the rude way, I'm sorry, but I'm giving it a pass. In fact, I'm giving it an A+ times infinity. [get it?] The Spear ability has only ever grown on me more and more since its debut, and with Star Allies, Bandana Dee brings my favorite iteration of it, and by that, I mean the elemental variations did UTTERLY immense favors for it. The buffs that are given to each individual move takes an already incredible ability and amps up the destructive force to DISGUSTING degrees. You know what an ability with really good power, reach, utility, and mobility needed? More power, reach, utility, and mobility. It's fuckin' dumb. But I mean it when I say that every element has some highlights within Bandana Dee's moveset, from the Zap version of Spear Throw to the Bluster version of Moon Drop to the Sizzle version of Ground Thrust, which is in and of itself a new move, to every version of Waddle Copter, and yes, I learned in recent time that this move is, in fact, called the Waddle Copter, which is just lovely. I'm kind of at a loss for what to add. I've sung the praises of the Spear ability before, and I've been enamored with Bandana Dee from day one, so while I'm not really one to call back to previous videos, I'm gonna bust out an oldie for you guys, just this one time. That's That's fucking That's fucking BULLSHIT. ... I love it. And here's where my rankings basically become completely arbitrary. Figuring out which of the remaining two characters would take the top spot was pretty much the hardest thing I've ever had to rank on a list before. I went back and forth over and over again, deliberating on this with friend after friend, and eventually I decided... that I liked both the fucking same, and that this was an impossible feat. They both pretty much got the gold in my eyes, But Wamboy ain't about to cop out at the top two! Who do you think I is? Eventually, I did find a factor that I hadn't considered with any other Dream Friends. Because while I fell in love with one right away, the other had to take some more time to grow on me. That's how I split the tie, and how this friend ended up here. Ah, well, look at that. Another duplicitous, traitorous WHELP looking to make amends. Oh, he was just hungry? Well, that's, you know, that's... that's... You know, that's-- It's only fitting that the maniacal jester be strong on the fun factor, but Marx manages to tick almost every box while only being somewhat very overpowered. While he may not have all that much utility outside of the elements, what he boasts in terms of combat prowess is, well... ... enough to make up for it, to put it gently. Actually, let's drop the pretense here. It's beyond lunacy, drawing in pretty much all his standout moves from the Super Star boss fights. He's got the ability to uppercut from out of the floor, he can rain hell down from above, he can do... ... that, and he can split himself in two to create a black hole because Milky Way Wishes was a trip, okay? And most of these can combo directly into one another pretty easily. Similarly to Magolor, it's another immaculate boss fight adapted fully into a playable character... ... 's aerial moveset. Yep, all those boss attacks I mentioned are specifically for when he's in the air. Seems ridiculous, right? My friends, you have not even begun to see ridiculous, for your fragile skull holes have yet to gander at the cataclysmic, the slaughterous, the PESTILENTIAL... ... beach ball? You got to remember that even deceitful, megalomaniacal (when they're hungry) creatures like Marx are also, in fact, super cute. And the ball is easily the most endearing part of Marx's moveset. It operates like a bomb that he can ride on top of indefinitely. Depending on what element you have, you could also ride it over water, or just... be Aang, and then you can also just fling it and watch it bounce around, most likely into an enemy. You ain't safe over there. I passed geometry. And if nothing else, you can spawn a bunch more until you just have an onslaught of beach balls just bouncing around the screen, and-- yeah, you can maybe see why I love this thing so much. My praises for Taranza just feel limp by comparison. Good lord. I can't reasonably want any aspect of Marx to change at all. He truly is the complete package, and was so tantalizingly close to being number one. Maybe if this was "Top 10 Redemption Arcs", am I right? Still, I would feel reasonably justified labeling him as my favorite. And yet... You know what kind of sucks about these worst-to-best lists? Pretty much any and all mystery about what #1 is disappears once #2 gets revealed, and yet, I wouldn't be surprised if I've still left a few people scratching their heads. I mean, there IS only one more Dream Friend left, but surely there's been a mistake of some sort. I didn't... ... really give #1 to...? [Rick] "Crikey!" Yeah, this is happening. I know I'm gonna get some mixed responses to this, but I'm in a sack, so I can't hear any of it. Rick and Kine and Coo (yes, that is the full name) didn't exactly hop on board with the most flashy or overpowered moveset, and yet the innocuous animal trio pulled the W because they topped the fun scale. Nay, they RAISED the fun scale. Rick, Kine, and Coo played into a part of me that no other Dream Friend did quite as effectively, namely the desire to be a dang ol' goobus. Gooey got close, but not quite to this level. Every tool in the kit has some sort of hilariously exploitable usage. There's Coo's infectious tornado move that combos immediately into Kine, who decimates groups of enemies and electric buzz saws by virtue of bein' a fish. Rick turns into a boulder that makes him immune to just fuckin' everything. Here's the pro strategy, though: Just jump on all the attacks. Even the goddamn Gordo, somehow. Would I call it a technically powerful move set? Not really. In fact, it made me prone to gaffes like no other, like accidentally freezing myself underwater but killing all the enemies regardless! Or the many times in which my teammates accidentally curling-stoned me towards danger. But really, the instability just feels more thrilling. Mistakes like that are just kind of endearing. That's right; your fuck-ups only make my opinion MORE wrong! But you know what's better than a dumb moveset? A dumb moveset that is actually super useful. Working its way into this goddamned circus act of a character is surprisingly boundless utility, with a number of nifty problem solvers and really easy access to three elements. Okay, technically they have four, but Blizzard is a bit of a complicated story. Regardless, it makes them super convenient as partners, whether controlled by AI or another player, but that's just the icing on the cake at this point. The cake itself is the level of amusement I have for them. Sometimes it takes the right character to bring a player into their own, and these guys are the full embracement of goofiness that I needed. The competition was stiff, but this time, dumb fun won out: Rick and Kine and Coo, together a perfect unit of inanity. Whichiswhythere'snoneedtorankthemindividually. Coo, Kine, Rick. Have a good day, everybody!
