Liz: Mr. Brown, thank you for coming in today. My name
is Liz-- Liz: Mr. Brown, thank you for coming in today. My name
is Liz
Kingston: Are you gon call me Mr. Brown? Okay [nervous chuckle] Liz: Are we gonna do this? Liz: Are we gonna do this?
Kingston: No, we're not gonna-- Liz: Are we gonna do this? Liz: Are we gonna do this?
Kingston: No, Mr. Brown's ready to talk Liz: I'm at work. So the thing with me here, Kingston,
is that I'm at work right now Kingston: Okay, but... [sigh] Kingston: okay Brennan: You see Epona puts the water down and says, "I'm gonna fully go" [laughing] Brennan: She [Epona] steps out. You see that Liz turns a recorder on and keeps her voice professional, but
is just fucking staring daggers at you Liz: So, KiNgStOn, it's my understanding that you
attended the wedding of Angela Confetti to . . . Ronald Pigeon Kingston: Yes, I was on a date with Misty Moore to the Confetti wedding on Sunday Brennan: "click" Liz: Fuck you Liz: Fuck you
Kingston: No, fuck you Liz: Fuck you Liz: Fuck you
Kingston: No, fuck you Liz: Go fuck yourself Kingston: Alright, you know what, I don't wanna do this Liz: I always knew there was something weird with her Liz: I always knew there was something weird with her
Kingston: It was nothing! Liz: She's wanted to fuck you for years Liz: She's wanted to fuck you for years. I knew it Liz: You're such a piece of shit! Liz: You're such a piece of shit!
Kingston: I never fucked her Liz: You are such a fucking dog Liz: You are such a fucking dog
Kingston: Don't even do this! Kingston: Yeah, it was business. I don't
know why I said it was a date Liz: "Business." So what's up, the mummy's back
or something? Kingston: No, the mummy's not back Liz: So, Mr. Brown, you were attending at the wedding, did
you hear anything amounting to criminal conspiracy having to do with the assault on Santa Claus
in central park? Kingston: According to Don Confetti the two pixies had gone downtown and
confessed to being the ones who, you know had hijacked or, you know, vandalized the sled Liz: And the names of these individuals are... ? Kingston: Uh, Pixie and Trixie or something like that. I don't mean
to be rude Liz: No, their names are stupid. It's... [rest of the party laughing] Liz: ... Twinkle and Pinky Kingston: There it is, Twinkle and Pinky. That's what I heard Brennan: "click" Liz: And because I have to fucking work in this department now Kingston: mm-hm Liz: I have to prosecute Twinkle and Pinky Kingston: It's still law. These are still people Liz: I live in a fucking cartoon now! Kingston: You don't live-- this is not a car-- Liz: Because of you I live in a fucking cartoon! Kingston: This is New York City. This is the real thing Liz: OH OH OH A HORSE WOMAN JUST BROUGHT YOU A CUP OF WATER AND THESE TWO PIXIES I GOTTA PUT AWAY FOR
ATTACKING SANTA Kingston: SHE'S A GODDAMN CENTAUR [sniff] Liz: I go through, I would say, half a bottle of
whiskey every night just to get through the fucking day Liz: I go through, I would say, half a bottle of
whiskey every night just to get through the fucking day
Kingston: That is so bad for you You have to come see me at least Liz: Oh what so you can do your magic hands? Kingston: How you doin, Ms. Herrera? Liz: Fuck you [Kingston laughs] Did you do this? You save me? Kingston: It wasn't actually me. It was actually you know Mr. March from the, uh, fireman calendar? Liz: Mr. March? Oh my god, yeah Kingston: Yeah, it was him. I helped, but he did most of the heavy lifting Liz: Wow. Well, feel free to give him my number [Kingston scoffs] Kingston: Alright Liz: What happened? Some fuckin bitch in a fuckin pantsuit jumped me Kingston: Yeah Liz: It was awful Kingston: It was a vampire, you know? There's
a big old politician/finance guy who's been alive for 400 years. He's a lich. Sold his
soul. Fae and--you know all same old bullshit and I promise you, you know my other friend the, the
person who did this to you tried to turn into a gas and this person still beat the shit out
of them. So they got what was coming to 'em Liz: Honestly? I'm very happy to hear that. I want that fuckin lady stomped So, what? Is there--we're all gonna die? There's an apocalypse? Something's
gonna happen? Kingston: Uh, you know, I'mma try and do my best to stop it, but Liz: Well, your best has always been pretty good, Kingston [Flustered mumbling] Kingston: Yeah, I don't know. I just thought I'd, uh, you know...
when you got to put it all out there you just you want to make sure that you
got a chance to say everything you wanted to say be everywhere you want to be Liz: You want to be here
with me? Kingston: Ah, I guess so. Well, really I just want to show up and, you know, tell you how
I saved you real quick and then [laughing] Liz: You got to go Kingston: Yeah, I should. You going anywhere? [Liz laughs] Ow Kingston: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, that's all
me Brennan: You see, she says, "If somebody would fuckin teach me how to do magic I'd come help you whoop ass. I'm
from the fuckin Bronx Kingston: Okay, okay. Well, we can talk about that if the world's still around tomorrow Kingston: You can't be--ay, that's, that's that's of my favorite t-shirts, alright? That was
the time, you know--my uncle got that for me from the Playboy jazz festival. You can't just
take--you just can't wear--you know Liz: This was at the bottom of your shirt drawer. Tell me, do you actually wear this? Do you actually wear this shirt? Kingston: [stutters] No. No, I don't wear it, but Liz: It's comfy. It's nice. Liz: I promise-- Kingston: You look good in it Brennan: You see, she winks at you and says,
"I know I look good in it" Liz: Oh, by the way, because we're kinda gearing up I actually have some depositions this Friday. So I'm gonna have pass on that Islanders game. I know that you got tickets for-- Kingston: Oh, come on. I mean, it's okay It's completely okay. I was just looking forward to it is all Liz: I know. We'll go I promise--I have to miss the Islanders game
so that we can go walking by the river on Sunday That's sacrosanct. Nothing's gonna touch that That's sacrosanct. Nothing's gonna touch that
Kingston: That's what's important. That's what's important. Liz: Kingston, these last two years have been the happiest two years of my life Kingston: Okay, good. That's... same here Liz: I know who you are. I feel like the most special
person in the world when I'm with you You've made sacrifices for me, I can make them for you. I'll be
fine. I'll take care of Bruce and-- Kingston: Good. Okay, that's mostly what I needed
to ask Liz: You asshole! You fuckin dick! Listen... Kingston: He just needs to be walked, alright? I know you're busy right now, but... I know you're busy right now, but...
Liz: I am fuckin busy [fully talking over one another] Kingston: This feels just kismet in terms of a time to . . . mention something like this, but I've
been running around town with this giant egg [laughing] Liz: Oh Kingston: Yeah, so Liz: Congrats on your... egg? Kingston: Well, it's congratulations to you as well, possibly If you're interested, um, because, uh... this is, uh, a dragon's egg, um, and I... uh, it's gonna hatch and someone's gonna have to take care of it and raise it. I was down with the Shen family. You know the Shen family down in Chinatown? Liz: Yeah
Kingston: Got the big... it opens up and it's like everyone flies there? it opens up and it's like everyone flies there?
Liz: Sorry, hold on. You... Kingston: Yeah, anyway, so, I uh...
Liz: You said "raise a dragon's egg?" Kingston: Anyway--you know have you had green tea? I'm gonna get some green tea for us I brought these green teas from Chinatown. You have to have a green tea Liz: Is there a little floating cloud in our kitchen?? What is that?
Kingston: Yes, and it's filled with green tea! Kingston: But yeah, uh, I did say "raise this dragon." Um... Kingston: And I know it's not it-- Liz: What do you mean "raise a dragon?" Like it's like a dungeon dragon? Kingston: No, it's not--it's more a spirit than a monster. It's not so much like, uh, gnashing teeth breathing fire sort of thing. It's kinda
like the dragon that kinda brought me into the Unsleeping City and took
care of the city and held on to its history and its past and its culture and treasured that.
Um... and I don't know, if you're open to it... I know that I am. I don't know, some of the other
champions kinda suggested the idea that... WE... kind of... RAISE and FOSTER
this spirit of the city [an actual fucking wheeze] Kingston: I'm wondering if you... It's not a child,
like we won't get to move the dragon into college So I don't know. It's a lot. It's a lot. I'm
saying a lot of things and I'm putting a lot on you right now and if you want to take some
space and think about it and we can talk later, um... [Brennan waiting to speak] [Brennan waiting to speak]
but I really want this. I really want this really badly and I care about this egg but I really want this. I really want this really badly and I care about this egg so much so quickly, but I love you and I want you and I feel like I've been talking for two minutes straight and I'm just gonna drink green tea and you talk and we'll just go from there Liz: Do I have to hatch the egg, like do I-- Kingston: No, absolutely not. I don't think you biologically have to do anything Kingston: You could say no. I just want to make it clear, like you don't have to be in. Liz: I think, Kingston, I think you're giving me anxiety with your anxiety Liz: I think, Kingston, I think you're giving me anxiety with your anxiety
Kingston: Sorry. I'm sorry Liz: I'm trying to catch up to where you've been
over a couple days just in like a minute or two Liz: Okay, we just--I think the only
hurdles would be like a birth certificate like you have to get a social security number. You have to get... Kingston: We're gonna do it. We're gonna raise a dragon Brennan: You see, um, you guys kiss and lay together that night [Lou laughs] Lou: Very formal An incredibly formal "Lay Together" Zac: You guys fuck and, uh... Brennan: You guys fUCK hARD [laughing] Lou: BAH! BAH! BAH! Lou: BAH! BAH! BAH!
Ally: The joy of the DM At the end of any scene, Brennan can be
like "and you guys fuck and then we're gonna move over to--" Lou: Y'all be fuckin and... Lou: Y'all be fuckin and...
Brennan: I meant "lay together" as in "being close with one another," but if you guys wanna Brennan: I meant "lay together" as in "being
close with one another," but if you guys wanna fuckin bONE dOWN, be my guest Lou: B O N E D O W N Kingston: And I'm gonna kiss you right now I'm gonna kiss you right now, right on the mouth to show you how much I love you and then maybe we can lay together [laughing] Brennan: You both kiss, go to bed that night, um... Lou: We "lay together," Brennan
