Kevin Smith Reviews Avengers: Endgame - SPOILERS!

[Music] welcome the fat man beyond I'm Kevin Smith normally I do this with mark barnard n' avengers without mark barnard and man they gave me a ticket you know me plus a guest and I took my kid it was real Sophie's Choice Jason Mewes was crying about it mark barnard a little upset Ralph Garman didn't say anything but I'm sure inside seething full of hatred but I tipped my kid because I took my kids see Iron Man back in the day finished the Marvel Saga the infinity saga if you will together by going to see Avengers : endgame last night at the premiere so that's what we're gonna talk about this is not a review I'm not qualified to give reviews and stuff you know everyone always says you [ __ ] lose everything it's not true you don't hear about the things I don't like see how that works you'll hear about the things I like all the live long day and I like a lot of things man some people like he's not [ __ ] picky or choosy obviously not have you seen my [ __ ] movies when it comes to other people's movies I'm even less picky and [ __ ] choose that's when I resort to being a fan long before I was a filmmaker I was a film fan loved movies and stuff so any movie that can make me feel like I felt long before I picked up a camera myself and became a filmmaker tried that's that's worth it to me that's great filmmaking man films movies are supposed to their escapism take you someplace journey to a wild place you never could before with some trace elements of humanity and story that we could understand but like take me somewhere wonderful that's what the movies are about those Marvel movies do that as well I [ __ ] suck their dicks so hard they're [ __ ] good man they're great in most cases and they're little like time machines for somebody like me I'm [ __ ] 48 man so the good times are behind me and all that lies ahead is [ __ ] death and the Red Skull floating around going who wants a stole and killed someone so like I you know I look for something that makes me feel young at heart that makes me feel happy that gives me that same [ __ ] feeling I had when I sat next to my father and watched Raiders of the Lost Ark and he would be like love this movie because it reminds me of the movies that I used to see when I was a kid the cliffhangers meant that's a germ that's passed on generation generation oh man loved the movies he passed that on to me passed it on to my kid as well so as I sit there with my kid watching these movies I'm like I love these movies because they remind me of the movies I saw when I was a kid Star Wars movies and stuff and she's like they still make those Star Wars movies I'm ago you're right but those that's where I fell in love with those those kinds of big movies and I never thought one day I'll make a movie and [ __ ] I was happy to be an audience member and stuff then an indie film happened and suddenly I got to play but we're not talking about that we're talking about Avengers endgame [ __ ] this is a movie this is so much [ __ ] movie ain't never been a movie like this before man I don't give a [ __ ] what anybody says in terms of like a build-up to a final conclusion I've said this about other movies before this one is about the absolute closest you get to a live-action comic book this movie felt like an annual like a giant-sized annual or a big multi-part crossover standalone event bookshelf format or Baxter format from back in the day prestige format man it was just epic if they had a high bar to clear not only they clear the bar by a couple thousand miles high they stuck the landing in the most impressive superhero landing of all [ __ ] time we're gonna get into it I'm going to tell you about it this ain't a review this is a I mean I'm just gonna tell you the story as I remember it that's how I do my [ __ ] I don't review I'm not like what the filmmakers were going for it [ __ ] that I don't know what the filmmakers going for other than they wanted me to be enthralled [ __ ] shocked happy sad they wanted me to laugh they wanted me to cry and they [ __ ] did it they did all that in the span of three hours over and over and over again man you know what I've been a director of 25 years I'm just coming around to this thinking it might be a two-person job you know the Russo brothers thrust it took two [ __ ] guys to make a movie this [ __ ] big a movie so big it had two directors and man they did a phenomenal [ __ ] job they cut their teeth in the world of television like you know arrested and then gave us some of the greatest motion picture epics of all time that's not just hype kids it's not just me like oh you [ __ ] blows everything marvel that'll that'll stand up in a [ __ ] court of law man you ain't seen anything like and there ain't anything ever been anything like Avengers endgame man it's crazy let's get into it before we do spoilers big time [ __ ] spoilers man I'm not doing this to ruin the movie for you so if you ain't seen the movie yet [ __ ] off you know you're not supposed to say that you know to your audience but I'm telling you I am gonna go deep what I recall of this movie and it's gonna be spoiler full this ain't spoiler free nothing but me talking about the [ __ ] that I want to [ __ ] like blow and [ __ ] so get out while the getting's good and come back after you've seen it yourself and whatnot all wait a [ __ ] I can't wait you leave put it on pause or whatever the [ __ ] because some people who have seen already we want to talk about it so here we go before I go further little housecleaning me and Ralph Garman coming over to to Ireland and in England and Scotland to do Hollywood babble-on tickets at cease mod.com that's coming up man May 9th we're gonna be over there May 9th I think to the 16th or something like that so come hang out with me and Ralph's gonna be making jokes having a great [ __ ] time man tickets at zis Montcalm okay here we go vengers endgame I went to the premiere full disclosure as a guest of Chris Hemsworth so naturally you know take this review of the grain of salt but you were gonna get the same review whether Thor brought me or whether Hawkeye brought me or whether nobody brought me and I just paid my two bits to see in the theater Avengers endgame what a weird place to open a movie right half the world's been snapped two heroes and [ __ ] lost kind of like in an empire strikes back see kind of place but they did not return this Jedi holy [ __ ] they went far above and beyond that although in the end credits there is another star movie that's kind of getting not knotted too but like here in the end credits when they do the core 6 members of The Avengers they have their signatures as well so you know it's Chris Evans it's gotten America but then you see Chris Evans signature and I remember they did that in the last Star Trek movie that the old cast was going to be in they'll sign their names and their names went off into the stars so you know Kevin Feige who is the [ __ ] brilliant genius behind all this and deserves all the [ __ ] credit for a 10-year vision 22 [ __ ] films of like no this could be cool we could build up to [ __ ] vanos man and like this gigantic [ __ ] off movie or every one of our [ __ ] characters all the IP came in together and whatnot just the same way you do in a comic when you were reading like you know an annual or something like that or when they do the big crossover event annually hence annual so our movie opens in a world where everyone half of everyone's [ __ ] dead and it happens I guess based on Tony's lost in space with nebula and he's mentions in the amount of days again I was it was a lot to take in so much movie and that's not complained it's amazing I can't wait to see it again so I can like break it down and ingest it this was just pure enjoyment for mendin so if I remember correctly Tony and nebula lost in space based you know following the events of infinity war and he said how long he was out there and how shits running out we heard in the trailer right where he's just like you know [ __ ] them when I go to sleep I'm gonna be thinking you when he's recording a video for Pepper Potts into his helmet so meanwhile back on earth you know the Avengers and everybody else kind of dealing with the fact that like he did it oh my god it is unbelievable and so Tony lost up in space and then you know he's going down for the count and then Olson there's a bright light and you know you're like who is and how do you not know who it is is Captain [ __ ] Marvel who just showed up like a couple months ago so Captain Marvel spoilers and again all spoilers rescues Tony Stark and nebula brings their ship single-handedly back to earth I guess that's after the events and Captain Marvel's PostScript they you know showed her going where his fury so I guess what had happened was she talked to them they were like first go get Tony Stark so she goes off to space rescues Tony Stark brings him to earth Tony Stark shitty and pissed like [ __ ] not having it like mad at Captain America like he'd called them a traitor or something like that was real [ __ ] had a mean on it was pretty harsh and you know wants nothing to do with these fools meanwhile cap Marvel is just like [ __ ] it let's go kill thanos you know and the Avengers like oh it's that simple and she's like yeah we'll find him we'll [ __ ] kill him or we'll make him pay and they're like you know hey man he's got the stones let's just get the stones and do what he did unsnap everybody and stuff and then all of a sudden you know somebody's like here's a signature heat signature when he used the stones the first time is unbelievable release of energy that happened it's happened again you know on this world the signal energy signature from this world so they know where to [ __ ] find him and also nebula knows were funny because nebula said like he always talked about when his work was done he would go to the garden so they're gonna go to the [ __ ] planet where we saw thinnest at the end of infinity war and [ __ ] confront him what I forgot to say was the opening of the movie Hawkeye train and his daughter had a fire bow and arrow how to pull back and bang and he goes pull the air and she's good shot he goes pull the arrow out and his [ __ ] he's on a family picnic in his backyard family that we met in in Avengers 2 age of Ultron and then boom they turned to dust and he's left by himself and [ __ ] so that's like kind of the cold opening in the movie before like the [ __ ] Marvel card and [ __ ] so the heroes are like [ __ ] it man we know where he is let's go to space and everybody jumps into rocket ship rocket the raccoon and off they go except Hawkeye he's not with them we'll find him later on he went nuts as one would so he became Ronin [ __ ] so they all go up to [ __ ] space spice to confront Thanos on his planet they do the jumps just like the didn't guardians they get to the planet Thanos is all [ __ ] up it's all burned and [ __ ] like that his arms all scarred and and wither like from burnt the arm that had the glove on it the Infinity Gauntlet and so they go further they buy like all of a sudden he's sitting there and bam [ __ ] Captain Marvel comes shooting in and just [ __ ] knocks him on his ass everything you want in the first I don't know 10 minutes of the movie 15 minutes the movie they go to [ __ ] kill Thanos and Thanos reveals that he used the stones to destroy the stones so the stones don't exist anymore so they can't unsnap so [ __ ] you I did that so that nobody can undo what needed to be done and you know I think it's nebulas talking to him at one point and he starts talking back to her he's like see daughter you know you bubble and then at [ __ ] nowhere swap [ __ ] Thor cuts Thanos head off right there first 15-20 minutes in the movie and you're like what the [ __ ] are we gonna do for the rest of the movie man they killed Thanos already and it was so [ __ ] satisfying I screamed out loud a lot throughout this movie people sat in front of me kept turning around looking at me it was mostly a cast and crew screening all the Avengers were in attendance and [ __ ] it was kind of surreal but I spent most of my time literally on the edge of my seat and screaming when things happened and knowing yes it yeah over and over again that's what this movie will do to you bring tissues mags you're gonna spill a lot of bodily fluids not just like tears lots of Tears but also like I can't believe they do that I'll tell you what those moments are man again this is a spoilery review so danos [ __ ] killed by thor right then and there man and the whole world is [ __ ] hopeless because there's no Infinity stones and that's it that's your opening of the movie and then they cut to five years later so we've lived for five years in the Marvel Universe with all the people half the people being gone world being weird and stuff cap running a like a survivor group like kind of a PTSD group that he we saw him in in Captain America Civil War and the Russo brothers I released one of them's in that scene it's pretty cool so you know cap talking about the things here in the trailer about people moving on and they find it hard to move on so you start seeing life after the snap and the Avengers are still together as a team and still fighting missions one thing you keep hearing about it's like somebody slaughtering whole gang communities and whatnot and you know you start piecing together you're like that's the Ronan son that's Hawkeye all these movies everyone's been going like Hawkeye what a jerk Hawkeye [ __ ] and they turn them into you know two [ __ ] Man of Steel in this movie they give him they redeem Hawkeye everybody gets a moment in this movie some get more moments than others but everybody gets to play this is incredible storytelling incredible fanservice perhaps the best fanservice ever [ __ ] provided and stuff and still all holds together as an entertainment that if you've never seen any of the other movies you would still enjoy the [ __ ] out of this still works there's lots of references to stuff that happened before but they're not enough where you're like what well I mean number one I know all the movies but even didn't know the movies they kind of explained [ __ ] along the way so you know time has gone by and nothing is improved and people are sad and they miss their loved ones and in a storage facility I guess in San Francisco there's a big van that we recognize from ant-man and the wasp and a rat there's a little like a convenient I'm sure mark barnard know I have something to say about I was totally okay with it rat runs across the controls that snaps on the controls which turns on the quantum tunnel and booms Scott Lang comes out of the quantum realm like into the storage facility he gets out and he starts looking at the world around him and it's completely different and he goes home and this is like some really touching [ __ ] heartbreaking [ __ ] there's a lot of moments that's moving to make you cry he knocks on the door and his daughter answers and he's been gone for five years so the little girl that we met in ant-man and ant-man the wasp is now like a 17 year old teenager and you know Paul Rudd never ages anyway so he shows that the door looking the exact same even though it's five years in the future really poignant and [ __ ] bittersweet man like [ __ ] he's like what happened he has no idea so he apparently gets filled in and then he shows that member in the trailer they're like hey man it's me Scott like ant-man we met in Europe he shows up at Avengers mansion when you know people are the Avengers have kind of fallen into this yeah we protect the world what's left of it and [ __ ] doldrums and you know but there's been no avenging of the snap or anything like that like that's it they've just kind of what's to do the talisman thrown in so Scott Lang shows up at Avengers man at the The Avengers facility upstate New York and starts telling Captain America and the Black Widow like I was in the quantum realm and you know it's a place he explains it like real [ __ ] go small and he's like and then you know I got out and bam it's just five years later and he's like but that's just it he's like to me it was like a day or something like that time moves differently in the quantum realm so he's like maybe that's the key to all this so right away everything we'd heard about in the rumor mill is like I think this one's gonna be about time travel they go all the [ __ ] in on time travel and it's a delight they referenced their cinematic forbearers a lot of Back to the Future jokes and stuff like that but the idea is what if we could use the quantum realm what if we could go back in time somehow to the moments before the stone like what if we stole the stones before Thanos ever could so that he could have never collected them so it becomes a time heist movie and they literally say that in the movie couple thousand times time nice it's a time heist so they break the you know meanwhile at the same time Tony the Avengers go see him and with Scott Lang and he's like I'm out of this like if you came to talk about avenging because he's got a daughter Morgan him and Pepper Potts have a kid he lives and like this house up in the country and [ __ ] in the woods by a lake and he's living just his normal life having a kid and he's just you know he the snap was devastating but like he lived pepper lived and they got a kid so [ __ ] wasn't that bad for him like yeah they lost friends but then of course like after the Avengers come visit he sees the picture of Peter Parker and like it eats at him that he lost the kid remember cuz he didn't want to bring a kid into this and stuff so that's knowing at the back of his head caps like come back and he's like no way if you came for that you you know if you if you know if you want to stay for dinner no business we can just chitchat and [ __ ] but like I'm out of this but meanwhile Tony has been working on time travel and in a really cute scene he just comes upstairs to like talk to pepper he's like well I did it she's like good but he's like I figured out time travel you know and she's like what and so the idea is like do we do something about it and you know she's gone like look everything worked out for us and there's a chance that if you go back you know maybe that that doesn't happen Tony says that as well but like that's what a hero does so they set the table really well because they're like Tony Stark never has to go into that world again and he'll be happy until the day he dies he's got this adorable little daughter Morgan who he [ __ ] loves he's with pepper like you know the Snap is a distant memory and stuff he's he's happy he's content that's not what a hero's allowed to be so the Avengers come see him you could see his wheels turning and whatnot and that's when he tells pepper and then there's being a moment of like well you got to do what you got to do kind of thing speech so he goes back to the Avengers facility they all gather meanwhile we've gone to see Hulk and Hulk is like Hulk from the comics in the 90s when Peter David made him the smart Hulk so he looks like the Hulk but he thinks and speaks like Bruce Banner so that was real great for like an 80's 90's comic comics kid to like see smart Hulk up there like you know oh my god then it's cool because you could see it's more Ruffolo than it's ever been before and he's talking it's not just like Hulk smash and he was like look I was always fighting the Hulk like he was some sort of virus I had to get out of me but what if he was just this is what I was meant to be he was the evolution so he's constantly in in Hulk form at this point except one scene in the movie during the the journey when they cap breaks everybody up into teams you're gonna go here go here you're gonna go here because they got to chase the Infinity stones down in time and most of that time is the time that we've spent seeing the Marvel Universe movie so it's this double joy of we're like oh my god they're doing their greatest tits man they're doing a victory lap and it's not even like we're jumping to moments in time that you never saw they're gonna jump into moments that we know and we weird moments to like obviously moments from the first Avengers movie but then moments from like Thor the dark world like this movie goes out of its way to be like [ __ ] you you're gonna watch Thor 2 again like they're gonna make you do it man so many plot elements about endgame are tied directly into the one Thor movie that everyone's like me so I don't know it kind of redeems that movie in many ways not like it was a bad movie but it makes you go like oh [ __ ] I better revisit Thor dark world and that's what I'm gonna do tonight so it's working so they you know they're starting to pull the team together they got the Hulk they got Tony comes back they got nebula on their side and rocket and they've got cap Oh Thor Thor is probably the ballsiest decision they made in the movie because Thor Thor got thick with two seas so what happened is after the events like they showed you know at one point when Captain Marvel came to earth and rescued Tony there's a shot of Thor like sitting there real angry in the [ __ ] trailer and [ __ ] you know she's like she says what's with them and they're like he's [ __ ] he's kind of PTSD man he [ __ ] killed like he should have went for the [ __ ] head he we could have killed Thanos but he didn't and all this should happen so he's [ __ ] Superman and [ __ ] so then we saw Thor kill thanos in the first like 15 20 minutes so then when we come back to Thor he's living with Korg and new Asgard so we see Valkyrie and all the rest of surviving as Guardians have moved to this town called new Asgard where Thor is kind of like the both or is the king and so it's like this fishing village like a few word if you will and Thor spends most of his time drinking beer and playing fortnight with with Korg and meek from from Thor Ragnarok so Tiger watch HEDIS in the movie and he was great and I saw him on a red carpet I want to give him up but he's doing an interview I don't even know him but I just want to hug him because I love Thor Ragnarok so Thor gets like heavy like he went to pot he doesn't look like god of thunder anymore he you know he looks like he looks like me with my [ __ ] show up and heavier than me and [ __ ] like a strongman gone to seed and they keep him that way the whole [ __ ] movie its glorious like this is it for the Avengers and that his last go-around he's literally heavyset and schlubby the only thing like weirder they could have done if they turned him into a [ __ ] frog like at one point they you know did in the comics or something like that or you know beta ray bill replaced him it was it's crazy and and like it works it absolutely works man and because the whole movie services every Marvel movie ever all the 22 and that services through a Ragnarok like you know they've kind of went in a lighter direction and so they kept leaning into that direction with Thor who like in in one of the ballsiest moves in end game stays fat the whole [ __ ] movie it's crazy even like when it comes to the final standard [ __ ] like that and they make it work for him he's suffering from PTSD he's [ __ ] like doesn't want to go out doesn't want to do anything but [ __ ] a drink and [ __ ] like that so they have to drag him back into the into the fight you know when they're like we have a chance to fix this we can go back and if we get the stones we can unsnap we can bring them all [ __ ] back and stuff so he's suffering from PTSD and not the Thor we kind of remembered and whatnot he looks more like the dude he's dressed like Lebowski the whole movie he's got like [ __ ] it's two layers you know just sweatpants Thor it's pretty genius and Chris Hemsworth is and I'm not just saying this because the guy invited me the premiere and he's in Jay and Silent Bob reboot what up he's legit [ __ ] hysterical in the we doing this and he brings real poignancy to it as well because as each team drops through the time hole and goes streaming through the quantum realm into these very specific moments in Marvel history you know things happen things go wrong things go right and stuff like that so they've got to do [ __ ] like okay you know the stone was in New York two stones were you know in New York around this time and it's the time of of Avengers so the you know tez Iraq they've got to get and they've got to steal it from themselves so you get to see what happened in Avengers after they caught Loki wear Loki's like I think I'll take that drink now so they lead you down the tower they brought in Robert Redford's character you know from civil war was it yes Pierce Franklin Pierce and and they brought in Joe Grillo you know who played crossbones so you know who played Ludlow run low like in this in because we're jumping through time so our heroes have the benefit of knowing like what happens in the marble universe so you know when they jump back at one point to the post-arrest of loki like love love rumlow is in there in the elevator like cap winds up back in an elevator surrounded by a bunch of tough guys who all have the staff you know Loki's scepter and so caps job is to steal the staff cuz that's got the tesseract that's got the stone in it and stuff so he gets into the elevator and you're like oh [ __ ] man it's gonna be a repeat of the Captain America Winter Soldier scene where he [ __ ] everybody up in the elevator and you know you're like that's awesome because the Russo brothers and they made that movie as well and then he don't fight anybody in the elevator even though he's sitting them there and he's like run low and he knows that like in the future like he knows everyone in this elevator is a [ __ ] Hydra agent because he's lived through the movies but where they jump in the movies nobody knows this yet except the people who are Hydra agents so in a really bit of clever writing there's not a [ __ ] ton of fighting in this movie it's not a fighty fighty movie although by the end [ __ ] yeah but like a lot of things are more clever and [ __ ] like that so cap gets out the elevator he simply goes like you know they want me to take this and they're like I don't know cap we had very specific orders and then he goes I have it now and then he goes hail Hydra so Captain America saying hail Hydra and they all go everyone in the elevator reacts like holy [ __ ] he's one of us too and he just walks out with the scepter they have fanservice moments like that paying off setups from like three five movies back and [ __ ] one from the they pay off or a callback from the first Iron Man movie man that's the penultimate moment in this [ __ ] flick so caps mission at one point is like like like they get the tesseract but the tesseract gets away because like Ant Man Tony Stark from the present an ant-man er teamed up and he flicks ant-man onto Tony Stark from the end of Avengers he goes in when Tony's got the you know the heart thing and pulls the plug and stuff so Tony has a fake heart attack and whatnot so they can try to steal the tesseract away but then Loki steals the tesseract and [ __ ] off so then you're like what they like we got to go back further in [ __ ] time in order to do this [ __ ] so they do another jump and at one point Tony Stark like they got to jump back in time because they only have a certain amount of Pym particles I'm sorry I like I only saw it once so I'm trying to remember and [ __ ] I'm a STONER they only have a certain amount of Pym particles to make the jumps so they're like maybe if we jump back in time to when Hank Pym invented the Pym particle we can get more so we don't have that we're not worried about like one last jump and [ __ ] so they jump back to shield in the 70s and you know at one point Captain America sees Peggy Carter like in in an office from the other side of a window and [ __ ] like that he walks he tries to hide in office and there's a picture of him behind him on the desk and he looks at the door and says Margaret Carter and [ __ ] and then he sees her outside and he's like longing it's really beautiful [ __ ] like that but he can't spoil it he can't [ __ ] ruin this mission you know obviously nobody's allowed to be in touch with their former selves or their past selves and [ __ ] meanwhile Tony runs into his dad in a really [ __ ] touching scene they bring back John Slattery who's played Howard Stark you know in in Iron Man 2 and in Civil War and so Howard and Tony see each other shield and like Tony winds up hanging out with his dad for a few minutes and it's it's really sweet they don't go smallsy you know where Tony's just like always loved your dad and he's crying or anything like that he's talking to his dad and his dad is bringing home flowers to his wife because he just found out I'm gonna [ __ ] cry this movie is so amazing he has found out that she's pregnant and it's pregnant with Tony so he's talking to his dad on the day that his dad's gonna go home and celebrate with his wife that they're about to have this baby so Tony Stark the old Tony Stark our Tony Stark is able to talk to his dad and talk about being a father himself which he is now and he says like you know like I used to think that my old man was hard on me and now I just realized he was just always looking out for he's like now that I'm a dad I just get it and that's as close to like a big like sprawling crescendo cue and tears in that moment I love that they kept it real it is so true to Tony Stark's character that he wouldn't be like I love you dad and [ __ ] but they do let him [ __ ] hug Howard and it's hysterical cuz out of nowhere this guy who's just walking with him to his car says thank you it gives him this big hug and he goes thank you and that's how it looks in when he goes for your service to this country and [ __ ] like that and he's like oh all right and then something really mind-bending happens and the movies full of [ __ ] like this it's just fanservice wonderful fanservice Markus and McFeely the [ __ ] screenwriters I don't know if they deserve the credit they deserve to so much credit but I don't know who came up at this moment but it's really nice Howard Stark gets in the car goes to get in the car and his driver opens the door and he goes Thank You Jarvis and you see [ __ ] Jarvis and you realize that's why Tony built the AI Butler I mean those of us who know the comics knew that you know Jarvis was the butler a vengeance Avengers mansion but in the world of the movies like it just started off in the first Iron Man with Jarvis being the house ai and then it moved into the suit ai and then Jarvis became vision eventually and then vision gets killed and never comes back like you know a lot of folks come back in this movie some don't envisions [ __ ] one of them that was really disturbing so in any way you've seen now the entire life of this character and then you see the reason why the origin Tony like we always felt of course he called this AI Jarvis because Jarvis was the name of the Butler in Avengers mansion but they in the movie universe they do this one thing they just go one better by being like that's who he grew up with there was a Jarvis Jarvis was his driver and his Butler so when young Tony grew up and built an AI there's a whole story behind the story that they don't even [ __ ] tell would you just fill in the blanks and you're like one day Jarvis died and [ __ ] when Tony built the AI he decided to name it after like one of his only friends in life above the life like it's just [ __ ] fantastic fanservice meanwhile Thor has to go pull the ether from Thor dark world from Jane Foster Natalie Portman who's been out of these movies for a red-hot minute and was like I ain't doing these movies again they got her to come back everybody comes back she comes back so we see her so Thor's got to go to Asgard which is still you know when he jumps back in time there it is everybody's around including his mom Freya who dies that day in the movie in Thor the dark world so Thor jumps through time and sees his mom he jumps through with rocket and he sees Frey and he doesn't want to confront her and ship and then he's skulking around the palace and at one point she confronts him and he's like and you know again like Chris gets to like be funny in the movie as like fat schlubby Thor and so you know she's like you're my son but you're not my son from this time are you music how did you know that and for a play it's even better I can't even do it he was just like he breaks down to crying he's like I'm gonna buy me like but she's like I was raised by witches you don't think I could [ __ ] tell a little fanservice [ __ ] like that so he has this conversation with his mom who he knows is gonna die by the end of that day and you know he's Thor's [ __ ] depressed he's like I don't think I'm [ __ ] worthy like look at me and like I [ __ ] up and I should have gone for that and like he's just kind of broken and so she gives him the pep talk and the kind of like you are the best and blah blah blah really beautiful seem to be mother and son two characters they afford these like moments with their parents Tony Stark with his dad and Thor with his mom and you know kind of charges them up as they head back into the adventure so most of the adventure is predicated on we gotta get these stones before Thanos does in the timestream but in the timestream nebula jumps back to with who war machine to the beginnings of Garba giving of guardians of the galaxy that planet were star-lord where it opens and he's dancing and he goes and finds the orb with the stone in it at the end of the movie it find out has an infinity stone it so they bring you to the beginning of gardens the galaxy and Chris Pratt redoes his dance sequence until he gets knocked the [ __ ] out and [ __ ] but nebula is there and meanwhile by being in the same era as her other self like they're accessing the same memory so at one point Thanos has old nebula strung up you know and he's kind of pulling her apart after a fight she had with Gamora and so she had and all the sudden she starts projecting a conversation from her head projecting literally that our nebula had like the nebula who's come around you know has been become a hero and suddenly Thanos knows that these heroes who he doesn't even know the Avengers at this point really he knows that they're coming again he has just started his hunt for the stones and so suddenly he's like it works I get all the stones and these [ __ ] are trying to jump back in time and stop me from doing that so all we have to do rather than go hunting these stones is wait for them to find the [ __ ] stones and take him back and I'm gonna do that and [ __ ] cuz that's always been his dream right he's got a hard-on for the snap he wants to snap it in happening so suddenly he's on their asses you know like [ __ ] Thanos is a player again like a not just in flashback suddenly the flashback or the time-travel Thanos becomes the main baddie Thanos that they gotta fight for the rest of the [ __ ] movie remembering that they killed Thanos in the first [ __ ] 10-15 minutes of the [ __ ] movie so suddenly you got old Thanos who we never really met except in like you know credits sequence of Avengers when you're sitting on his throne and [ __ ] like that that's the one that they wind up fighting in the third act try and think again so so Black Widow and she hunts down Clint who has become Ronin and he's in Japan just [ __ ] icing Yakuza people and [ __ ] like that just killing [ __ ] because he's lost his entire families lost his mind so she brings him back into the fold him and her he's the first one to test the time tunnel the time is bracelet that Tony Stark developed he jumps back in time to his farmhouse and he sees his family sees his kids and stuff and then he gets yanked back and stuff so he's like it works we got a chance we could [ __ ] do this man so boom they all [ __ ] head out now those two wind up going to is a four mirror know you know wherever the [ __ ] soul stone was where Thanos had to pitch gomorrah you know off the cliff in order to get the soul stone you have to give up something you love where the red skulls hanging out and [ __ ] so they show up and the red skulls there and you know you give them the same rap about you must move something you love so one of them in order to walk with the soul stone before you know anybody can come get for Thanos could come get it one of them has to [ __ ] die one of them has to give up the other and both of them are trying to give up their lives for each other don't even longtime friends like at one point is a beautiful callback line when they're like in the [ __ ] ship traveling through space and [ __ ] and he turns to her and he's just like there's a long way from Budapest and it reminds you of the Avenger I'm where you know she's like this is like this is exactly like Budapest he's like you and I remember Budapest very differently so beautiful fanservice moments like that so they want to go to bat for each other like and you know Barton is Hawkeye he's just like I got nothing to live for and I killed a bunch of [ __ ] people so let me do this you know and [ __ ] she's like no like I never had anything in my life and this family gave me everything and so like she's like I'm gonna do it for my family you know and they're heroes so both of them are like they start beating the [ __ ] out of each other not like fighting but knocking each other down to be like I'm doing it I'm doing then they both [ __ ] go over the cliff but you know he's attached to a [ __ ] cord and [ __ ] and she's like let me go you have to let me go and [ __ ] like she can't hold her and she goes black widow [ __ ] sacrifices herself for the soul stone and that's it that that's it like she don't [ __ ] come back it's not like it then the third act there she it dead just like Gomorrah Gomorrah stays dead but Gomorrah is in this because they've went back in time and so that Gomorrah who's still like working for her dad thanos sees this video here's these things knows that it happens or like the snap eventually happens she's like we can't let him do this and she teams up with the old with the new nebula because old nebula knocks out new nebula and takes her place and hides amongst the Avengers and like destroys the [ __ ] time tunnel thing they created by bringing Thanos through it so she brings Thanos from the past into Earth's present the post snap world you know time travel so there's a lot to follow so meanwhile real nebula convinces old Gamora that hey man we got to stop this [ __ ] like in the future we become [ __ ] friends we become sisters and [ __ ] like that and so old Gamora helps new nebula you know one point she runs into Peter quill and Peter's just like Gomorrah and he touches her and [ __ ] and then she [ __ ] like decks and takes a mash kick your [ __ ] hands off me bringing their relationship back to the very beginning like so it's not like a reset but like oh here we go again so what the Russo brothers are doing masterfully and I'm probably not I'm probably forgetting [ __ ] is set the table to get everyone where they [ __ ] need to be man and this time heist is they all go off to get the stones Hulk Bruce Banner goes to dr. strange because they said at one point there's and one more keystroke ah there you go hey everybody Jaime's here you were watching this Mittal's Mittal Kent Smith Kevin Smith but now you're watching Jay Mewes and I hacked into his little business here because he didn't bring me to the Avengers right he went with him and his daughter or what about the hetero life mate Muse so this is what you get Smith if you only had a VPN you'd be saved my friend I use Express VPN for multiple reasons one being I travel all over the place I'm here in London in Australia but I use it because I want to watch my shows that I watch weekly in the US of A but I can't do it on Netflix and Hulu and all that when I'm out of state at a country but I can with my VPN that's right expressvpn gets me where I need to be on my Netflix Oh what up Sofia the first huh look how easy it is expressvpn less than seven dollars a month how do you like those apples hey you want to get three months free click the description box or put in expressvpn com /sm OD s-- mod mod I want to say one more time it is $7 a month with a 30-day money-back guarantee man oh now back to Thanos Smith the big Avengers watcher you know what back to him because I'm gonna go do my own thing I'm gonna go watch my own with expressvpn there's two stones in New York one of course was the tesseract from Avengers and one is the time stone because it's held by Doctor Strange and Doctor Strange is still surgeon at this point he hasn't become dr. strange he's dr. Steven strange not dr. strange master of the mystic arts so Hulk goes to Greenwich Village - you know - to the sanctum sanctorum and the ancient one is there you know from from Doctor Strange so it's not dr. strange he's got to deal with the ancient one and she at one point does that poo that you know astral punch which knocks him into the astral plane so Bruce Banner gets knocked out of Hulk's body so you get to see Ruffalo playing Bruce Banner even though it's a mostly Hulk as smart Hulk movie so the smart hope goes down and Bruce banners in a spectral astral form if you will trying to convince her to give up the time stone she's like you're out of your mind and that were the ancient one I know meant to be sexless so eventually you know he goes Stephen strange gave the stone up and she was like strange gave up the stone she's gone all right strange is meant to be the best of us and again he hasn't happened yet but she's the ancient one so she knows so she's like if he gave away the stone it must be there must be a bigger plan so she opens up the eye of agamotto and gives hope that stone so I think that covers all the stones right the tesseract the the time stone the soul stone the stone from the space stone I believe it is from guardians the ether from for dark world that's five how many stones are there six or five five think if there's a six I forget what that one was but I think I've covered everybody Exodus is like five knuckles and then there's one right there - right where's like you know so anyway my man has come into the [ __ ] present like bad fan OHS and he comes to like the Avengers may after a ship goes up to the comes through the time device they just start raining fire on the Avengers a facility and just level it to the [ __ ] ground just destroy it trying to kill everybody because they're like these [ __ ] if they succeed and what they're doing I will never get those [ __ ] stones let's kill them all and we'll just take the stones and go because they've now collected the stones and they put them you know onto they've got a an Iron Man type glove and they want somebody to [ __ ] wield it somebody got to do it so Hulk's got the glove on at one point and [ __ ] does the snap with it and they're like what happened like you know and they open up shutters and they see birds outside and then you know because they're all locked in the facility this is before it gets blown up and then there's a ringing phone and Hawkeye looks at it and it's his wife Linda Cardellini played his wife she's uh Velma from you know I mean she's been a lot of things but she was Velma and Scooby Doo she's calling him so you're like holy [ __ ] maybe they're back but you don't get to celebrate his boom Thanos starts raining [ __ ] fire on the Avengers mansion and she on the Avengers facility he opens up time holes well first he has big last showdown [ __ ] you know everyone's gathered and whatnot and Steve and Tony and and Thor like come together to face down Thanos this this old fan house in the present who now knows what they're [ __ ] up to and [ __ ] like that so this is a notice in his prime they're even fighting weakened Thanos that's whose head they cut off in the beginning in the movie this is [ __ ] mad Titan Thanos and his goddamn prime wielding a weapon that looks like a helicopter [ __ ] blade and [ __ ] so they have a kick-ass [ __ ] fight scene with these three heroes taking on Thanos and Thanos is in prime form if you came for the whiz-bang and the punchi punchi they they don't [ __ ] skimp on it at all it's fantastic and the avengers are getting their [ __ ] ass beat oh i forgot there's a wonderful moment in on Asgard with Thor we're before he gets out of there like he you know at one point he [ __ ] like throws out his [ __ ] hand and his mom is there and she's like sometimes it takes a minute and then [ __ ] mule in the air shows up in his [ __ ] hand because he's back in the past so Mounier hasn't been destroyed yet by hella and when he gets the hammer like Hemsworth is such a good actor even through all like the heavy ass makeup he's so elated he's like I'm worthy like after all this time he's like oh my god I [ __ ] still earn the hammer so then he [ __ ] calls down the lightning and they suit him up but he's still fat Thor like I kept waiting for him to be like well as soon as the lightning hits they're gonna thin this guy up it's it's Thor's outfit is just [ __ ] big man very big so cap Iron Man Thor go to confront Thanos and have this wicked ass [ __ ] fight and [ __ ] like that and Fano says just beat my ass and [ __ ] and then at one point you know [ __ ] Thor gets knocked on his ass and drops Mullen here because he's fighting with Mullen ear and Stormbreaker and [ __ ] and all of a sudden like [ __ ] you know he's about to fan I was about to like [ __ ] kill always trying to drive the [ __ ] Stormbreaker into Thor's chest and head cut his head off like just like he was like you should have gone for the [ __ ] head so he's about to kill Thor and all of a sudden BAM he's [ __ ] it with something and when you're in the audience you're like no no cuz Thor's on the ground who - [ __ ] possibly how who hits Thanos hard enough that he's gonna [ __ ] be moved let alone knocked off a [ __ ] Thor and what could it be is it Mullen here and it is Mullen here and you know like but if Thor's on the ground who could be [ __ ] wielding Mullen here and they [ __ ] cut to Captain America with his hand out [ __ ] and the hammer comes back into it he's wielding Mullen you remember the moment and like a age of Ultron where he bunt to move it and it moved just a little bit and Thor looked and was like Jesus Christ maybe he's worthy they cut the door and he's like I knew it you know because it's like Captain America of anybody like Thor this is a [ __ ] that breaks me up is worthy enough to wield that [ __ ] hammer because he's so [ __ ] pure good of heart so cap fights the [ __ ] out I gets his door his [ __ ] shield broken by by a fan stano's beats his ass into the [ __ ] ground [ __ ] nut shot you see from the trailer where he pulls the [ __ ] shield like at one point Tony goes hey man I made your new shield so it gets a shield back everybody gets the [ __ ] back no linear comes back homeboy gets a shield back and stuff like that Tony got the armor back on but you never really left the armor behind so they all [ __ ] fight caps using his [ __ ] millionnaire and shield combo to beat the [ __ ] out of Thanos banging it and [ __ ] like but buying cap Marvel who I left off like she comes in in the first 15 20 minutes to help go kill thanos and [ __ ] but then she's like I got [ __ ] to do on other planets then when they come back to her later on she's cut her hair so she looks like the short-haired Carol Danvers which rocket makes a joke about and stuff but then she returns for this for the [ __ ] you know fan o ship comes through the [ __ ] sky and [ __ ] like that and rains fire on Avengers facility and then he fights Thanos fights like you know our [ __ ] three heroes and beats all their asses and then he opens up [ __ ] wormholes you know in dimensional holes we're [ __ ] like millions and millions of [ __ ] minions and beasts and monsters and uglies come to earth and he's like you know normally I don't [ __ ] take any of this [ __ ] personally but I'm gonna enjoy burning this little stupid [ __ ] planet to a cinder like he's just now I'm gonna wreck shop [ __ ] you people like and he's got the army to do it and it's literally Captain America only because everyone else is down for the [ __ ] count this Captain America versus Thanos and his entire [ __ ] army and cap is gonna be beat and we've been told that this is it for cap and he's gonna die in this movie in [ __ ] and so you're like here it is he's got the broken shield [ __ ] pulls it tight on his hand he's still ready to [ __ ] go and then all sudden you hear a voice man you hear you know cap do you read me and it's [ __ ] Falcon he goes on your left which is [ __ ] you know Civil War [ __ ] out I know you're not supposed to cry about this [ __ ] Mean Girls take your video and [ __ ] say unfuckable you are and stuff like that I'm giving [ __ ] like my wife tells me I'm unfuckable so I don't need a stranger to tell me that number one number two I'll pay anybody make me feel something in this life and these [ __ ] movies make me feel and when [ __ ] I heard Falcon go like on your left I just wanted to kiss the Russo brothers that is [ __ ] top-notch fanservice right there they know we've been listening and listening [ __ ] closely man so that's a moment right out of Captain America Winter Soldier right does a Civil War Winter Soldier work where he's like where he meets Falcon he's like on your left and he keeps running by his cap looks over his shoulder and [ __ ] Falcon Falcon a hole opens up and black panther and Sheree and Ocoee come through the [ __ ] rift represent Wakanda and then [ __ ] Falcon comes with them and then through this hole the other returning Marvel heroes hey it's the Guardians the galaxy through this whole holy [ __ ] it's [ __ ] spider-man like every [ __ ] Marvel hero returns and stands behind Captain America and [ __ ] takes on phantoms it is mind-bending like it's [ __ ] crazy see it on the biggest screen you possibly can because you ain't never seen anything like it you know when remember the opening and the challenge of the Super Friends when they ran at each other and [ __ ] we saw that in Civil War Russo brothers gave us that it's like wow that's a piece of my childhood come to life this is like a Gustave doré a woodcut it's so [ __ ] beautiful and everybody fights everybody everybody gets a [ __ ] moment in this movie it's [ __ ] absolute batshit crazy yeah they all [ __ ] fight meanwhile there's trying to [ __ ] get the Infinity Gauntlet the new gauntlet that's got the gems in it and [ __ ] Thanos gets his hand in it but [ __ ] boom cap Marvel shows up and beats the [ __ ] out of him stops him from doing the snap and stuff and [ __ ] she's gone but then he does this [ __ ] trick where she's got she's been in his fingers back it looks like she's gonna break his fingers off and I'm in the theater going back [ __ ] I loved it when they cut his head off I was it yeah they get to kill him twice in this [ __ ] movie spoilers so in any event she about to break his [ __ ] fingers off and then he does something he like pops the glove so one of the stones pops out into his hand and then he [ __ ] uses that to like punch her in the face and she goes flying across the [ __ ] screen and [ __ ] so it looks like he's gonna fight like Captain Marvel's the best of the best and he's about she just [ __ ] got iced by Thanos too and so you know he [ __ ] gets the gauntlet you know in the middle of this vast battle and [ __ ] everybody's fight and it's everyone you love it's all your [ __ ] heroes and it looks like a comic book [ __ ] come to life looks like a gigantic you know [ __ ] who let me see who'd be the best artist man I mean I don't know I don't want it like I'm trying to figure like cuz I I don't want to do it injustice and somebody be like what like my first instinct was to be like you know when they did hanna-barbera Super Friends character studies the great like Steve Rude used to do a lot of those character designs sometimes they just put all those heroes and one [ __ ] frame you're like wow man it was it was kind of like that or it was like you know reading [ __ ] Secret Wars and seeing every [ __ ] character and one double pay a splash page double page spread is it's mind-bending it is excellent cinematic entertainment this is something you can't do on a Broadway show you know or anything like that this is only something you could possibly see in a movie you know or in a movie that streams on your [ __ ] device or whatever the [ __ ] it's just so crazy the top / out and out there now fare credit it all came from comics so you could see it in comics as well this is the first time you see it like writ large on the big [ __ ] screen it is mind-bending so eventually Thanos gets himself to [ __ ] infinite Infinity Gauntlet onto his hand and [ __ ] like that he [ __ ] beats Tony Stark like Tony's got at Iron Man fighting all he [ __ ] can everyone [ __ ] fights forgets a suit and she fights because remember she fought an Iron Man 3 so she knows how to [ __ ] fight like every [ __ ] hero gets to fight come back and [ __ ] fight it's beautiful it's nuts and [ __ ] but Thanos and Ironman go to it toe-to-toe and then fan oohs beats the [ __ ] out of Ironman takes the glove and he's like puts it on he's like don't you [ __ ] people understand paraphrasing like I am an evitable and he [ __ ] snaps his finger and you just hear the snap the empty snap and then he turns the [ __ ] glove around then Gauntlet around and the stones are gone and [ __ ] you cut to Tony and the stones are in the [ __ ] Iron Man glove and just fixing into place and so Stannis goes I am inevitable and then Tony goes I am Iron Man and he [ __ ] snaps and like oh my god this just destroyed them all basically he reversed the snap like they reversed the way I understand the movie is I think hope reversed the snap because at one point later on he's like my truck is there's a long day Numa he says like I tried so hard to bring nat back with a snap he tried to bring bring BlackWidow back but she didn't come back with everybody else so Hulk snap brings everybody back and that happens like before Tony snapped Tony snap defeats Thanos and his army all of a sudden they just cuz you're like how the [ __ ] do you get out of this like they've painted themselves into a corner this is like [ __ ] World War 3 and of course they could paint themselves out of the corner simply by letting them snap so you see all of the [ __ ] minions dust off and start turning into dust and everyone's a guy haha going apeshit and whatnot and [ __ ] then you see fan OHS who is a great character man Josh Brolin deserves like all the credit in the world and the brilliant part is who turned him into [ __ ] Thanos but that performance which takes an actor and a team of digital experts and [ __ ] is fantastic you forget that's not a real [ __ ] person that's a big ass cartoon man and still there's such humanity and pathos even in his leg defeat like as much as I wanted to see him [ __ ] lose when he sits down and like he knows he's about to dust they don't let him speak they don't give him a speech or anything like that he just looks [ __ ] defeated and it's the young fan OHS and again we get to see him kill thanos twice in this movie that's how good this movie is they knew you wanted to see Thanos too high so they're like we're gonna do in the first act we're gonna do it again in the third act and you're gonna love it just as much both times so boom evil is vanquished and [ __ ] like that life doesn't like go back to absolute normal it has five years of past so Ant Man you know wasp comes back hope Van Dyne and stuff we see Hank Pym we see Janet Van Dyne everybody [ __ ] comes back they they're hanging out with his kid at the end and the kid is 17 now like she it's not like hey she's a [ __ ] kid again like she wasn't ant-man the wasp so I don't know what that means man if that means like if you do another ant-man movies it's set in the future we're two kids seventeen in a post snap world or do you do a tail pre-snap but who would want to watch that it'll be a while before they can get into the pre-snap stuff and they could always use that but I don't know how they'll touch time-travel again because they've done it so well in this movie man you know they adhere to the rules that we know from other movies but at the same time they introduce new rules with like know if you change something in the past the future does not go back to normal it [ __ ] everything up so like we have to be delicate about this so after danos is vanquished then we got a day tomorrow we got to see where everybody goes and you know everybody turns to look at Tony and Tony is [ __ ] fried the snap killed him just like the snap you know fried [ __ ] Thanos and [ __ ] fried off half of his face Tony is the same [ __ ] way and he's just like catatonic and not not really my death store and so the kid spider-man is like we did it mr. stark we did it we beat him and he's like Tony's just not there Pepper moves the kid and she's like we did it like you did it Tony it's over it's over and he never says anything again he just closed his eyes [ __ ] dies Tony start guys of the movie sons of [ __ ] man but he gave his [ __ ] life what a hero he wanted to stay home and raise his kid that's what he earned that's what he deserved he got that for five [ __ ] years after the snap but in order to give everyone else their [ __ ] lives back and their families back and stuff he went for it [ __ ] he was Iron Man but not hard enough to [ __ ] live so he dies right there and then there's a funeral where every Marvel character attends all the people we know and love from these [ __ ] movies as Tony is laid to rest and there's a really beautiful scene with Favreau who you know fabs directed Iron Men started this whole [ __ ] ride him and Kevin Feige you know had this dream of like imagine if we got to like the Avengers and they got so much further so there's a scene with fabs and the little girl who plays Morgan you know and he's like how you doing at the post funeral it's real sweet it's like something out of terms of endearment and you know she's all like I'm good I want a cheeseburger and he smiles and instantly he like oh like I know what that is [ __ ] Iron Man want a cheeseburger what he [ __ ] got out of captivity when he first got home he's like I wanted cheeseburger and so fabs goes your dad he like cheeseburgers too and it's so [ __ ] like we're that little kid in the movie like that's it we've lost Tony star Guinness so nice to hear something so comforting and he goes that is so cute he's like knew all the cheeseburgers you want oh my god I love it so much that's what you say to a [ __ ] kid anyway let alone say it to a kid who's lost your father who's like the most incredible human being world's ever known the guy who saved everybody so sweets in those there's movies and perhaps supermen and superwomen and [ __ ] like that but it's the men and women part of the equation super is what gets us in you know look at the whiz-bang but it's the men and women part of the equation that makes us [ __ ] stay you want to be these people not because they've got superpowers because they they're human beings just like us who make the right choices make the hard choices and [ __ ] like that really beautiful touching [ __ ] so they're not even done bring again bring a towel bring a beach [ __ ] talax you will cry throughout this entire [ __ ] movie man cap well here the Thor decides to leave he doesn't want to be king of new Asgard and he turns that over to Valkyrie and she's like I'd like to make some changes around here I bet you will and he joins the guardians the galaxy and he says he's like look at us together as get together again as guardians of the galaxy is like what so if that's how they're gonna do it Thor might continue on you know cuz they can still make these [ __ ] with horror movies or he could be part of the guardians or whatever the [ __ ] but he's going off like into the universe to find himself he's leaving Earth but not in a shitty I hate Earth kind of way just like you know he goes look for so my whole life I've been trying to be this person that I'm supposed to be now I just want to be Who I am like some really beautiful [ __ ] man they give him a great storyline and it's crazy ballsy that they just stuck him in a fat suit that whole [ __ ] movie anybody coming to see the rip Thor this is gonna have to deal with the performance instead and it's really quite beautiful so that's Thor's storyline Black Widow as we know lost her for the soulstone Clint gets to go home and be with his family let's see Tony's laid to rest Captain America you know now this was that we all expect cap to die all the trailers make us feel like he's gonna [ __ ] die fighting thin I was gonna die for this country at one point like you know they talk about Tony looks at it's Tony and ant-man together Tony Stark and ant-man and they're in the past that the Avengers and they're looking at Chris Evans uniform from the Avengers and so Tony Stark goes like Oh cap those pants did nothing for your ass and like ant man's like I always thought of your asses America's ask cap one point Captain America has to fight Captain America from the Avengers so our Captain America fights that Captain America from the Avengers and you know they're expertly [ __ ] matched and so really dazzling sequences catfights cap ones wearing the mask ones dodge but eventually it takes him out and that cap is like down for the count and Chris Evans looks at them because he's asked ass up face down and he goes that is America's ass like [ __ ] like that was fantastic there's like a fortnight joke when we first meet Thor him and Corrigan Meeker playing for at night and he gets on like a headpiece and argues with the kid fortnight and [ __ ] Ralph like fun stuff that you know makes those movies [ __ ] really light enjoyable so Captain America you know they I can't believe I remember all this from one [ __ ] viewing Bruce Pat and I'm sure I'm forgetting something big Bruce Banner promised the ancient one I will put the stones back before you know right where they were I'm gonna return the stones to each point in time when we take the stones that way they've never left so you know technically she's not given up the time stone for the from the eye of agamotto like he's gonna return it before she even gave it up or the ancient one even gave it a so cap is tasked with bringing all the stones back and like well it's gonna take you as long as you take I was gonna take you about five seconds in our time you know you're ready to go you got to make sure you go back to all the exact places he's like I'm ready and so they snuck him through the time hole and [ __ ] they're like okay bringing him back five four three two one and he don't come back through the time hole you know and so you start sitting there going like didn't Kat finally take one for himself and then they see somebody sitting on a bench a few feet away about a lake and they walk over and you know I'm sitting there gone oh my god is it gonna be young weakling like Steve Rogers before he got the Super Soldier Serum it's [ __ ] beautiful it's old Steve Rogers an old man it's like 85 90 or something like that and he's all like wrinkly and he lived a [ __ ] life and you know he's like I'm sorry I didn't come come back boys you know he's like I just I just decided like I essentially just want to have a life like after after all that service after [ __ ] 70 years in the ice after [ __ ] defeating the Nazis after three Avengers movies and three [ __ ] Captain America movies all the [ __ ] this [ __ ] had to go through he just wanted a little [ __ ] R&R man he just wanted a life so he went back and you know he's wearing a ring and so you see it at one point and then Falcons talking to him and he's like do you want to tell me about her and caps like you know what No I don't think I will like he kept something for himself but cap gives Falcon the shield and the outfit and essentially makes Sam the new Captain America old Captain America old man Captain America makes Sam Falcon the new Captain America and [ __ ] and then they the whole [ __ ] movie ends with a with a flashback to the past of Steve like a little house in the middle of nowhere and they're playing like this you know old timey 50 song or whatever the [ __ ] and they push it on the house they push into the window and there's Steve dancing with Peggy Carter rips your [ __ ] heart out like he [ __ ] got married he got his dream and I was ready for this [ __ ] to die like they showed me the trailer looking at that Peggy picture and Titan in the [ __ ] shield you're like they're gonna kill him I can't believe they're showing us the moment they're gonna kill [ __ ] Captain America and they didn't these Marvel [ __ ] are so good at their jobs they gave Kap a win like he got to [ __ ] have a life after all that [ __ ] obviously I'm messy and unfuckable like you know but that's how I feel about these movies this movie is spellbinding ly good I don't think there's ever gonna be another movie like this you know what I'm saying I'm like they took 22 movies to build up to this [ __ ] movie somebody else could probably try to beat that somebody else might be able to pull that off and guess what this ain't the last [ __ ] Marvel movie they got lots more probably didn't even the last Avengers movie but it's the last time with all these characters that we came to love over the course of ten years people that were parts of our family you know they say that television you know since it's in our homes and [ __ ] back in the day when people would turn on a TV you know it made those people who are on TV TV stars like part of your family like Robin Williams when we were working on Good Will Hunting said like you know there were people outside the bar we were shooting that and they were like Mork and I was like man they still yell Mork he's like that's what I get the most and this was decade or more two decades maybe after Mork and Mindy but he's I was like really ma'am not good morning Vietnam he's like TV puts you into people's homes you're part of their [ __ ] family these Avengers they're not a TV show but they became part of family all these Marvel movies men we Watchmen thiers we watch them home relentlessly you know there's so many of them and there's so many repeating characters and we've got to follow their lives and their arcs that they're deeply entrenched man and deeply invested there's a reason that they did those signatures at the end to kind of mimic what they did with Star Trek you know the Star Trek credits man like it is epic something big just happened here and believe me the media won't let you forget it it's in all the news like it's [ __ ] huge but it is absolutely astounding achievement man so [ __ ] entertaining beyond satisfying as I was walking in there's a lot of red carpet questions like what do you think is gonna happen I was like I is that like [ __ ] and so many people asked me that I was like is that the question like I never once thought what's gonna happen that's why I come to this [ __ ] if I could imagine this [ __ ] I wouldn't come here I do it for myself and be like um I don't know Jesus saves them all and obviously I don't have a lot of imagination that's why I don't let me make those [ __ ] movies but I know go to those movies going here's what I expect to happen I like to get taken on a journey and they [ __ ] took me on a journey three [ __ ] hours all of it flew by all that [ __ ] short not a piece of it do I regret I'm not sitting they're gone they could have done this they they should have done this this is all so artfully and beautifully done by people that love these characters as much if not more than you and me and [ __ ] so hats off to the Russo brothers hats off to Markus and McFeely the writers hats off to Kevin Feige Victoria Alonzo all the people who work at the Marvel Studios and whatnot this is an incredible [ __ ] achievement this is not me trying to align myself or anything like that but the only movie that I've seen but this much fanservice treatment is the movie I just finished making Jay and Silent Bob reboot which I'm not going to say it's the Avengers of my movies but I took so much care to be like oh my god like if you like this I'm gonna reference this I'm gonna reference this it's not like deep cuts where you can't enjoy it but fanservice because if you're making like a number two or three or four or five of a movie they say it about art anymore it's about fanservice you're giving people what they want I like those characters a lot more here you go and hopefully it's artfully done and they can be standalone stories but the moment your sequel izing something you're in the fanservice business so as always mega Jay and Silent Bob reboot I was so meticulous about my fanservice and I felt proud I'm like nobody's ever done this before then I saw Avengers endgame and I was like I'd off my cap to you sirs you both of you all of you involved truly understand the meaning of the term fanservice as well as the meaning of the term art as well as the meaning of the term fantastic storytelling man some people tell me all the time you like to [ __ ] too much you like Oh more of a movie you blow everything [ __ ] whatever I [ __ ] like what I like and they make great [ __ ] I'm not alone and then even about a box on a box office numbers game look at other people they say the same [ __ ] man I'm in the bag for this beyond the fact that I just love good story Tom I don't make any money off it and [ __ ] in fact I spend a lot of money on this [ __ ] because they make these movies I'm like you know first taste is free and then after that you got a [ __ ] pay so man this comes from a fan I love this [ __ ] I love it to death I've no interest in making that kind of movie man it seems too big and time-consuming and takes a lot of talent that I do not have but [ __ ] do I like seeing those movies and I'd love to seeing this I'd watch it again right now I hope you found this useful or interesting is that you know it's a recap of the movie and hopefully you haven't listened to it until after you've gotten to see the flick but once you've done that go sit watch it and see if I was right what did I forget like I'm probably sitting here going what the [ __ ] am I forgetting you know there's some rocket stuff but like I think I hit all the major beats I [ __ ] love that I can't wait to go see it again I'm gonna say this [ __ ] three four times in a movie theater arm carrots 3 hours of peace man I literally could have watched again right at the end when they rolled the credits I didn't see any post-credit scene because we saw it at the premiere and when the movie ended like all of a sudden they brought the lights up and then they brought all the Avengers up on stage and [ __ ] and they all spoke it was really [ __ ] beautiful man so I can't wait to pay to see this a couple times and see what happens after the credits roll and stuff like that my hat comes off to you Marvel I love you thank you for making movies and make me feel like I'm a kid again man loved it Avengers end game 2 stars no I'm kidding 18,000 [ __ ] stars on a scale of four there you go that's my [ __ ] review for fat man beyond I'm Kevin Smith man thanks for hanging out and watching mark barnard will be along shortly sure with his review of Avengers endgame when he gets to see it but there it is man swab spoilers [Music] you

Channel: Kevin Smith

Views: 2,156,504

Keywords: Kevin Smith, Fatman Beyond, Avengers, Avengers: Endgame, Spoilers, movie review, marvel, movie reviews, Christ Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Brie Larson, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson

Id: s-6a5GCkR7A

Length: 73min 45sec (4425 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 28 2019