Kevin Love opens up in exclusive interview about mental health issues in the NBA [FULL] | ESPN

so Kevin you are now the new face of mental health in the NBA how does that feel at first it was a little scary I think from from you know suffering with anxiety and depression for a long time into having my first panic attack on November 5th and not really knowing what that meant to fast forwarding being here now it's uh it's definitely at first it was frightening but you know seeing the change and somewhat of the stigma and also being able to affect and help the community that that has come forward and and not only talked to me but you see people from every different walk of life and seeing that doesn't discriminate it's been you know very it's made me you know very happy in that in that aspect and it's changed my frame of mind and it really I really do believe in writing my piece that everybody is going through something so that whole community and being vulnerable and no one that doesn't discriminate and knowing that I'm trying to change the stigma not only for you know people in sports but all over and especially I mentioned in young boys and my article as well I think that's that's something that is very prevalent and very of the times that we need to you know we need to beat that stigma down well dr. parm of course calls this a human condition not a basketball condition you said something to me that I was a little surprised that you said I don't pass the mirror test what do you mean by that I just meant that you know only by admitting who we are do we get what we want and what I what I mean by that is I used to and sometimes I still do like I'm a victim of of my own mind sometimes is when I look in the mirror you know I wasn't I wasn't living my true life I wasn't being myself and I think I really believe that in you know being vulnerable and I felt like you know the people that are more apt to share you know how they're suffering and not suffering in silence they're more likely to help people come forward and pay it forward to the next person so I think that was what I realized and looking in the mirror that I have a chance to help it could be one person but in doing so I think not only myself but tomorrow coming out and having his comments about depression enabled me to come out and say that I've been suffering with anxiety and depression so passing the mirror test is still something I look in the mirror every day and say how can I be better but I felt you know when I did you know come out and say this is what I'm dealing with that you know I could look in the mirror that day and be happy with myself so you told me this is something that's deep-seated I think in my research it most of most of the time it is it goes all the way back to the very very beginning so let's go back to the beginning with you well so we I know we've had many conversations but you know one thing that sticks out in my mind I know that you know we've talked about it is my brother after you know not speaking to him for a while and having seen him after the article came out we were in Portland and I just seen my sister here in Los Angeles and he had brought it up he had mentioned I didn't know if he wanted to talk about it what what that conversation was going to be like but he had mentioned I remember when you were young and would either be raged fits or it would be we lose you for a couple or a few weeks and so I just leave you alone I didn't know how how to handle that with you and you know I think that was something that is gonna stick with me and being great in my mind for a long time because one of the things that I that I said I'm Article two is that I'm trying to be better and better to the people in my life and my brothers is one of them so hearing that come from my own blood that was a moment that was was special to me and it was pretty apparent that I you know I wish I would have had the presence of mind earlier on to you face these things but I think everybody has their moment there aha moment or that moment where you know they're able to come forward with these type of things so your brother tells you so you were gone for a couple of weeks you when you hear that is it surprising to you you say oh I remember feeling that would it you have no idea what he's talking about well I think some time went sometimes when you're in it you don't even realize how you're affecting other people and I think this year in particular for me was was an eye-opening experience as opposed to when I was young you have that feeling of being invincible in some cases but you also feel like oh there's there's people out there you know that are going through far worse things than I am and while that might be true you know I look as I told you with a number of people that I look up to you know whether it be Anthony Bourdain you know having a life where you know seemingly he has the best job in the world he has great success a beautiful girlfriend a beautiful child Robin Williams I just watched his documentary and he would exert himself and you know put himself basically in the ground and physically exert himself to a point where he took his mind completely off of it to you know Kate today when she was talking about you know it was gonna hurt my brand so for me as a youngster I didn't really see it like that I just thought I'll get over it I'll get out of it and I didn't know that I was affecting people the way that I was fast-forward to now it's very similar like it doesn't have a demographic it just as it is sure but so this two weeks I just I'm trying to wrap my head around the idea of a little boy being gone for two weeks what does that mean you're in your room you're not talking basically I mean I was I was in my room I would be pretty pretty dark that's that's the word I like to use and basketball was always my safe place and still is and I mentioned that a physical exertion and and you know taking your your mind out of the equation having your mind occupied or preoccupied it's those moments when you're you're left alone that can be scary or things can be misleading or your mind can play tricks on you so let's talk about the panic attack from it because that's when the world got a little glimpse of what was going on and as you know people were talking about this long before you came out yourself look so take us through what happened that night well it was very scary for me because I have always had the anxiety and I think a lot of it like a lot of people and you know it's like you know for example you want to go to bed and or you want to go to sleep and think I have a big game the next day and so what happens you know you plan your routine you try to go to sleep you get ready and then you dig up the the worst things that have happened the last 10 years for you so I think it was a combination of things that were going on in my life that led up to that point as well as a really slow and poor start for a team that as you know was expected to make it to the finals and potentially win a championship especially with the roster that we had so I think it was a five and seven start and on November 5th I just remembered not quite feeling right until halftime or I should say we got to halftime didn't feel right an entire half and I mean we went through a few plays there was a timeout I got to the I got to the huddle and that's when I just I felt something that I'd never felt before I can I couldn't catch my breath I felt like my mind was completely out and I didn't I couldn't send oxygen to my brain so I tyloo had come and said something to me after a timeout where you know we had called the timeout so the timeout was was our doing and the game wasn't going right for us tyloo had said something to me I told him I'll be right back I ran in the locker room I was essentially searching for something that I couldn't find I didn't know this feeling and then I just basically ran to our trainer's room fell on the ground collapsed and you know my heart was jumping out of my stomach or my my chest and I couldn't get air to my lungs and you know essentially was was trying to clear my throat sticking my hand down my throat trying to get myself there yeah so it was a bit terrified it was terrifying I thought I was having a heart attack I was I was extremely scared that I felt I really felt like I was gonna die in this moment I get like I'm getting hot thinking about it but it was it was a moment that nobody wants to have but it was very eye-opening and then going to the hospital after that everything checked out and I was basically thinking myself well what happened what the hell just happened right so you run off the court and no one nobody knows what's going on ty doesn't know no so you don't have time to think about them because you think you're you you can't breathe well I couldn't my mind was going a thousand different places all I was thinking was I have to catch my breath and I number one important one input yet like I need to catch my breath and not only to go out there but this feels like it felt like life or death Wow so the game ends so you're lying there in the train room does the trainer come in he comes in and you know that he's basically you know Steve spero he's yelling at me he goes you know he's he's seeing what's happening and he's just trying to either I mean trying to calm me down and in a situation like that he's asking me what I need what do I need to get air or what do I need to you know get out of this moment what were how can I help you so in that respect I feel like our training staff did a great job yeah they don't know what can they do right it's hard to do so no one sees you after the game right no one sees me after the game nobody knows what happened besides the very few people that were there I get a couple texts from a teammate or two and then and are they saying what's up is that what they're saying hey is everything okay and that was you know just their way of checking in because they didn't know and where I went it was thankfully it wasn't in front of the masses that is lucky yes so as you know the response to that and then there was there was another incident later at Oklahoma City which I believe you said had nothing to do with the panicking no it didn't I was I was I was like my flu game I was sick that game right so now your teammates some of them are concerns some of them are mad you know how do you contend with all that it was tough because when we had our meeting and you know I think the brunt of it was was not only taken out of me there was a few other there's a lot of layers we weren't doing well but one of them was was me and it was a topic of conversation and you know I kind of had looked at a few people that knew and just said I I can't I can't tell you guys what's going on so I said listen I know you guys are upset I hear you but there are certain things that I'm going through that I'm working on to be able to help you guys and help myself so just know that you know respect my space to a point and and you know I will have an open dialogue and try to be transparent with you guys but this I didn't feel like this was something that I should share to them at that point and I felt like you know it wasn't their call to do it as well but I think when tensions got a little bit high tyloo had said oh you mean the panic attack that Kevin had and so I thought okay something's gonna need to happen here where I'm gonna have to to come out and you know kind of speak to what I've been going through as well as that panic attack I'm just gonna take a while yes that during this time Chan and Frye is talking to you pretty record he is so Channing is a very close one of my best friends we have we had because he had had similar issues and and and things that you know he had been pretty dark through his entire life but really in the past 12 months before that and it was you know having both of his parents passed within a one month period so we were able to talk at length over a bunch of glasses of wine but at length about some of the struggles that he went through and what I went through as well was that helpful just someone else knows what I'm feeling it was so helpful I mean as you know down the line and it's everybody knows it that you know I've seen a therapist and I've been seeing a therapist now but having him is just a even from outside of a professional room or standpoint having him to talk to especially somebody who's their day-to-day mm-hmm I don't know if I wouldn't I don't know if I would have made it if it weren't for him so I you know I I don't only tip my hat to him but you know I wrapped my arm around him thinking you know that was that was you know something that was very special for me to help get through that so now I'm gonna ask you what everyone wants to know what's LeBron doing during this time LeBron is um well I think after the fact he was very understanding just cuz he had no idea what was going on and I can't say that as a teammate I wouldn't have done the same thing and been pissed and said you know you got to come to work every single day because that was Braun's biggest thing with me just said if you play as hard as you can we're gonna get the best out of you especially you so I think you know leaving a game at the first timeout after halftime and then you know having a game where Oklahoma City I just wasn't feeling right you know there was there was moments like that where you know I think it can be hard because there's so much weight on his shoulder so but I think having a you know gone through that and now that he knows and there is transparency he I think there was a newfound level of respect on that end he certainly was very vocal in the social media about that I just didn't know privately does he have private conversations with you as well as these posts that we all see I remember the first thing he said to me after that came out was that he shook my hand on the back of the bus you know kind of let everybody get off and he said you you really helped a lot of people today he helped a lot not only a lot of kids but he helped a lot of people so that was that was a special moment but you know I couldn't go a few minutes without another person in that community I talked about coming forward and saying hey this this is my experience and I want to share this with you so it was a way of seeing a lot of people or being vulnerable and also you know sharing these experiences and having that community and saying we need to we need to beat down the stigma together so I talked to Adam silver the other day and I said what was it like when he spoke to you and he said I wasn't gonna ask him to do anything because that wasn't my place he was stunned at how open you are to doing anything they want so when you're sitting there with the Commissioner of the NBA by this point are you just free I I'm an open book is that with pretty much I've now come to a point where I I just kind of lay all my cards out on the table and say this is what you get and having that freedom of mind is something that I've never really had it's actually giving me peace and sometimes things get worse in order to get better sometimes there is a rock bottom but you know it's it's only really been up from here and there's only different things where or things that I've read or places that I've gone to you know look for help or or find that peace in mind body and soul where you know I know that you know people reaching out for help or talking to someone it does really work and for so long I put that off thinking I didn't need it because that was my my playbook when I was young is to suppress it and you know be a man and you know I think the masculine anything is a you know kind of misleading in a lot of ways because when that's ingrained your mine in the early age you you feel that way throughout so you mentioned that you watched the Robin Williams documentary and you mentioned before to me about both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain and I'm wondering if are you is it sort of a mild obsession now to look at people who have had mental health issues and learn something I mean those yeah those are people aren't hearing everything's different are every person is different in what they go through and that's I just always say that everybody's going through something and with those are three separate cases of of famous people and I know I spoke to you on the phone and you know Bryan Cranston one of my favorite actors said that after Anthony Bourdain pass and Kate Spade had passed and taken their lives that success is not immune to depression so I think it's finding that that empathy no matter who you are and how much money you make or you know your socioeconomic status or your your gender or your sexual preference no matter what it is people people are going through something is this this is you know in a social climate that we're in now it's it's it's really tough not to so you have to you have to you know find that empathy and know that you know every man is my superior and that I can learn from them so before Anthony Bourdain took his life you had you were you were examining his help tell everybody about so I had a show idea for for the players team in the same you know a company that I work with and same a place where I where I came out and wrote my article and I was working on a potential show idea that you know I think everybody goes in and says I want to do the part son know and Anthony Bourdain version of this show so I I have taking a liking to him way before that I felt like I traveled the world with him and you know I loved how he narrated the show and you know what we he was about and he had that edginess to him so I I started watching the the first I watched the first four and a half season and then kind of put it aside when the season started and I wrote down several notes about each and every show where you know there was pinpoints pinpointed some things highlighted some things that you know I potentially wanted to put into the show that that I wanted to co-create or or move forward with and I remember game for the NBA Finals it was the first thing I saw when I looked at my phone is that Anthony Bourdain suicide where he was you know who found him time of day and it just crushed me I was thinking myself how am I going to go out there and play this is one of my heroes I have a note in my phone he was one of five people that I wanted to I wanted to shadow him on his show and I wanted to see it go and see parts unknown how it was filmed and he was one of the guys I even just want to have a conversation with because he was one of my heroes and the day before I packed up for Cleveland but the morning I was leaving I remember the last thing that I grabbed I'm very visual I read everything down so I was looking at my planner and going through stuff and a couple yellow legal pad papers had fallen out and they just said Anthony at the top and it was all my notes from the show and that just broke my heart I still watch his show post have my social you know post quotes from him and just try to have his legacy live on because to me he was he was very special and he was he was going through things that I know people saw because of his past but you just you just don't know where somebody's at in relation to you know how they're feeling or if they're reaching the end you told me that um your girlfriend Kate was one of the people that finally said to you I'm worried about you you need you need to do something when did that happen was it after the panic attack before that well I think it was definitely before that because we had been together a while and I think it was a lot of the very close people around me to that you know I said to me hey we need to we need to take care of this you need to you know you take care of your physical so well you you train you eat well you you know chase the game as much as you can and keep the main thing the main thing but right now the main thing should be your mind because that darkness that you had as a young kid and have had you know throughout your career is starting to surface more than we've seen so I think that was not only something that that Kate had said but a number of people a very few close people had said to me so you had always said the basketball was your sanctuary but eventually if you don't take care of these things it spills over into your entirely yeah I think you saw that but after I know that after my my panic attack that I was playing I mean I had an all-star season and I was playing well but there was that time I think really Christmas on until all-star break that was why I broken my hand shortly before but there was a time where it was just bad basketball and if my sanctuary and my happy place if everything is going wrong on top of what's going on off the court those those quiet moments alone are scary and I also believe that breaking my hand not being able to playing me also game not being able to help the team was was tough too because then the game was taken away from me I couldn't even go out there forget playing bad I couldn't play so I think that was that was very tough as well so we sat behind curtain at all-star yeah we got really really close and then something made you stop from just what made you stop well as you know I was very very open with you about just about everything but there I think you could see my eyes started to divert when I we got really close and I just wasn't ready at the time but we mentioned all-star break it's funny because this is a couple weeks or a few weeks after we had had that team meeting and you know ty had kind of got the balls rolling on Wow other people know I don't want this to be news where somebody else is breaking it and when I get to and this is post tomorrow all of that and so when I got to all-star I turn on the TV and as I mentioned you the first thing that I see is parkland Florida I'm thinking this kid is what 18 19 years old this is a young man think about he was going through to get him to this point this kid was not right between the years so I saw that I'd sat down with you we had mentioned I mean we had talked about a lot of intimate details and and and knew that there was you know some rumblings about what was going on around all-star so you know I thought to myself I want to share the story on my own terms and that that and I guess thankfully I was out at the time so I was able to focus on that and it was it was not easy going going through all that and reliving a lot of moments you know not only from my childhood to help me get in the right frame of mind to write this piece but it being vulnerable and you know trying to trying to help younger man I remember talking to my agent he said are you sure you want to do this because a lot of people are going to talk about I said Jeff Jeff Suarez and I said I don't know if anybody will but you know just understand I'm trying to help people he goes I get it if you help one person one kid it could be absolutely life-changing and groundbreaking for that kid so that's that's what I was looking for and I'm thankful it had such a profound impact on you know this community as a whole it was a big deal it was a big deal and I didn't I never thought that would happen I just did it because it was freeing for me but I knew that I would help that one person so how irritating was it I was irritated by it that all-star cocktail parties you yours your personal mental health was a very popular topic it was and that was you know it's it's interesting when you have a injury so to speak and you have a you know a knee injury or my hand or you know it's an ankle sprain it's a lot different when you can't see it and somebody doesn't know what's going on outside of the lines or especially or either a teammate or a former colleague or somebody that you know you work with on on a day-to-day basis you know has really has no idea your background or quite frankly doesn't care to or doesn't give you a chance that to me is what was tough about people talking at all-star because I really believe I always said you know give me a chance I really believe that if you ever just took the time to have a conversation with me or somebody that is is going through something or not that's how you should make up your mind or that's how how you should judge someone is by their character and not by in some ways their reputation I mean the late John Wooden say be concerned more with your character than your reputation because your characters who you really are and your reputation is what merely what others think you are correct so when you did come out you did their players that are coming forward for the series we're doing and they all mentioned you and DeMar it has had a great effect but I think what you do what you said about one kid isn't that really where mental wellness has to start is when you're younger for sure and that was a thing that I mentioned early on was young boys and young men are probably furthest behind because you see all these LGBT women's movement civil right you see all these movements happening whether it be from the 1950s 60s all the way till now there's been so many years of putting time into that to where I think young men really that playbook that I talked about of just suppressing it and and and you know kind of living in that darkness and and and not sharing it as something that is old in the in this and it's outdated and beating down that stigma is is something that I think we can do as a community and as athletes we have the platform and they and we're able to do that I mean there's having LeBron retweet it and have you know great words about he's the best happening in the world or having other players come forward whether it be tomorrow or Kelly Oubre or everybody that's gonna that's going to come forward here it's a special it's a special time to be able to help people I mentioned that that social climate where everything's so curated now be able to be raw and just be yourself that's what I talked about in passing the mirror test is that like I lived I lived my day today as I should and that's that's what makes me happy I mean it's not every day that it happens because I think it's a ever evolving and ever I mean so it's a process always you have to work at it like anything else but it's the willingness and and knowing that doing the work is going to help you that is so what makes it special so stigma is still the problem still plenty of guys that have issues and they don't need to come forward to me or to you what they do need to get the help so there's still plenty there's probably some of your teammates I don't know I think some of the teammates that felt differently are gone now but but there are players out there that think you're soft because you did this they think DeMars soft they're gonna think everybody that comes forward is soft what do you say to them I mean you think you think demar derozan sauce them I think I know and like there's there's people are gonna say that regardless any time you you mistime like I broke my hand because of you soft like it's such a tired statement like I've put my time in in this Lee guys put their time in this league to be an NBA you know soft and to come forward with this it's like I said that's tired it's outdated and it actually in the end is probably for me it was the best thing I did and it's only gonna help you moving forward it's gonna make you a more evolved human being and it doesn't just mean basketball players or anywhere in sports this isn't everyone in every human thing so I think the Cleveland Cavaliers are interesting because ty Lewis you know had to take yeah he had some mental health issues that he sort of talked about but not completely and again nor nor should he have to but what about the support from your team they just signed you to an extension so they're clearly not that concerned about this right no and that was something that I mean we mentioned Kate Spade even earlier to she had said that I thought I felt like this would hurt my brand and I thought to myself wow that's that's that's Wow and we we had talked about that at length as well as that guys didn't want to come forward this is also guys who want to come forward because they were on a contract year or you know they have to be able to support their family so they can't come out and say this because who's gonna take a chance on them but I think it's so mentally freeing and positive and to be able to do this and in mentioning the Cavaliers the Kobe Altman tyloo and a number of others throughout the organization had either written me a letter or you know taking me to the side and said you know thank you but I think a lot of guys and everyone supported ty in a big way because they could kind of see that it was there was something going on with his health and and bothering him and I think that that only added to the community of coaches now they're going to come forward and say listen I'm dealing with this and to get the best out of me I'm gonna need a little bit of help and whether it's them coming out and say it or not giving to them getting this stuff done on the side is only going to help them but the Cleveland Cavaliers organization has been great for me and great to me through this entire process and that's exactly what it is a process and when I sign deal that was one of the topics of conversation through the Cleveland and national media they had asked me afterwards how how has this how has this been you know going through and how is the team reacted to it and I you know I can say nothing but good things about Cleveland are you better basketball player now I think I'm more free just in myself and Who I am only I said you know like admitting admitting who I am it's it's this is a part of me and it's not a I mean in some ways I wear it like a badge of honor because I say this is this is who you get and this is what you get but I just think it's it's it's I feel more I mentioned the world evolved I just feel more at peace with myself because I can I can really live my truth and try to get help in that way so if you can have the NBA do one thing then they've they've rolled up sort of quietly rolled out a new policy they had an internal memo that went to every team about what they expect them to do for mental health but if you could say to them this is really what you need to do what would that be have a number of things at arm's reach in order for four players to get there to get the best out of your players not only for the team but so that they can perform well and whether they're suffering from depression or anxiety or something that's going on with their mental health that that they have that at all their disposal and I think teams will be more forward-thinking with that and I think Cleveland has done a great job of that as well so are we talking someone on call almost takes yeah somebody on the staff and cuz everything I'm telling you there's a lot there's a number of guys on each team that are dealing with this and I know it and you know it and a lot of people know it but it's not talked about which is which is fine if you're not going to come out and say it to the public but it's something that may be behind closed doors or you know whether it's dealing with the family or dealing with you know the team or your friends are those closest to you that you should you have something in your place of work that you're able to reach out to and know that that's going to help and I don't know what that is that I mean I don't I don't one thing I said and I said all along is that I don't have all the answers but I'm looking to see other people's stories and you know find ways to share those as well and it's it's a never-ending process so some of the people I talked to a couple of them said that their mental health issues became were so exacerbated by the stress of a plane and you know professional high expectations you know all the pressures that they did consider actually quitting that they did you ever consider quitting basketball because of this no only because basketball was was my safe place and there there was many times where I did let anxiety get the best of me while I still might have had a good game there might have been you know different moments that maybe could have you know kind of shifted the pendulum one way or the other throughout a game that kind of a I guess my anxiety or you know something my mind had been misleading maybe it was a free throw maybe it was a shot maybe it was you know the attention to detail on on defense that may have swayed me a different way but as far as quitting goes no I basketball was my happy place so when you go on for just I was you just signed a big well this would be a very good time to retire yeah but you've got a young you got a young team now you're gonna it's a completely different team and you're gonna be the face of the team right so what I mean this seems like a pretty good time for this all to be happy it's funny you say that because I don't think without having not gone through this I would I have been prepared to for this next chapter or next phase in my career because there was six six years in Minnesota where you know I didn't really have a lot of veterans we were a very young team you know there was a number of guys that you know were shipped in and out we always had a lot of turnover and you know we never made the playoffs and I was the guy to wear you know I came in there's been four years now in Cleveland and we were expected to win a championship every single year or get to the finals every single year but I think in a lot of ways especially you know learning from LeBron and learning from the situation is that sometimes you have to learn to follow and then you know in order to lead so that was a huge thing for me but I haven't gone through this this year and you know kind of walk in the walk and and you know being who I truly am that is gonna help me on the floor I think this experience has has only been positive in a lot of ways as has each and every day been perfect no but each each day is a chance to get better and learn and put my best foot forward in attacking this as well so we've talked before LeBron is a tough guy to play with very very tough to play with compounded by what you were contending with but so how much did you talk to him about what he was gonna do it didn't seem like any of you did that much did you really have any idea what he was gonna do before he did it I had somewhat of an idea I had you know like everybody weighed the options and kind of had an idea of where he might go but I knew it was probably between Cleveland and Los Angeles you know I think he's always looking for a different challenge he's always wondering what's next and it feels like sometimes he's playing chess and everybody else is playing checkers he's you know very very mentally strong knows the game of basketball so well and sometimes there's something that he sees that other people don't so I think you know we making it to four straight finals you know helping and the most him helping the most in us winning a championship in 2016 I think you know he might have been looking for something different and and a change in next chapter for him and here we are so what what happens now with Cleveland I mean it's expectations fall off a cliff everything changes doesn't it well I think well now we have two nationally televised games of course unless you make the playoffs so I think us it's gonna be the best thing we can do is over achieve I know it's easy for a team to say hey we need to work hard we need to play our hardest but that's the only way that we're gonna make it and we have the cloth and the guys to make that happen and and and overachieve and excel at a high level but there's gonna be games we need to steal there's gonna be times when we need to grow up and maybe our our inexperience will show but we have a number of veteran guys that have been tested battle tested and have played at a very high level in meaningful games of all the people that you that came up to you after all this was there one in particular that kind of took you by surprise at how supportive he or she might have been one instance in particular after the article came out we're on a road trip immediately after it was a morning we were traveling I believe to Denver and I was making the trip I think even though I was hurt and there was a after the road trip that was a note that was left in my locker and it said you know Cleveland Cavaliers obviously I won't mention the name but it was a couple pages from somebody that you know had worked in the organization and had gone through some really really tough times and that was something that you know I went home I read a couple times and and had kept and it really I mean kind of pulled at my heartstrings in one way but also maybe happy that that he or she felt like they could open up to me and had somebody to talk to and I had taken that person to the side shortly thereafter when when no one was around and just said hey thank you and I'm here if you ever ever need anything ever want to talk I think having that at your disposal having somebody that that is there and and can have empathy and in some cases commiserate with you is it's good to have so you mentioned the badge of honor you kind of are this guy now right so when you go to USA basketball is Gregg Popovich just saying good for you Kevin I mean is that how your life goes these days yeah in a lot of ways I mean it's something that people are pretty upfront about and not only thanked me for but asked me you know what's next and I think there's there's plenty more to come for me I feel like it's it's gonna be life work not only for me working on myself but but trying to help others and and starting a foundation and you know making sure that it's all about the right things and that's helping people and you can start with kids at schools I would hope so that was a you know and it's tough not to think about where I grew up and also where I've played as well so if you could go back which is hard to do we all want to go back don't we but if you could go back at what point of your life would you want to say hey I need some help how old would you have been I would say probably when I was in Middle School because I think as a when I was even younger I knew that there was you know sometimes something where I couldn't get out of bed sometimes or something where outside of basketball I just I didn't quite feel right or I would get so worked up that I would either act out or you know be pretty brash or mean to people or you know just not want to be around anybody not even my family so I think it was probably probably when I was 13 or 14 years old where I thought well I could I could really use a you know not only a counselor but just somebody that'll would wrap their arm around me and say you got this like we're gonna get through this you weren't thinking that at 13 where you know I thought I was invincible I thought this will pass like what do I have to worry about you know so many people you know going through things why do I have to worry about you know my mental health at the time I didn't even I didn't even know these things I didn't know that there was a stigma I didn't know that you know there was things like this going on I just I felt suppress it suffer in silence be a man because I was always just the the top dog and you know the outlier basketball player the best player everywhere you went right pretty much so you say of history in your family almost everyone that I've interviewed has a family history of depression it gets carried down from generation to generation how do you how do we how do we contend with that in a lot of ways I feel like while it is in others families and in mine as well it's it's tough not to think that fast forward to now and then if you backtrack that in some of these cases it's it's generational I mean there's so many movements and stigmas being beaten down listing them the the world is is in our country is pretty divided but there are some there are some silver linings and also bright spots where people helping and people coming forward not only like myself but a lot of the guys that'll come forward in the story and elsewhere it's it's that's where we need to be my father's and my grandfather's generation they were really taught to suppress it and I think in in in like PTSD type situations going to war whether you know be Vietnam for instance or or world war two they come back and they said we just don't talk about it this is we just we never bring up the war we never bring up what we what we went through and I think wow that is okay you know there's there's some things that you know you shouldn't you should look to work on you know even if you are suppressing it in order to live your life I had mentioned earlier that everything now on social is so curated and these I think I really believe that it transcends any age but when you're young and you're looking at people that are or you you think you have to be this you have to be perfect and everything is broken down in such a way that your mind is conditioned to think I have to be that it's hurtful and harmful I mean I to even at 29 I have toed the line and had one foot in the water thinking I don't really want to share Who I am or or be myself because what will people think and that itself gives me anxiety so I understand what what what young kids are going through and how they've been conditioned and and and that social climate that we live in and I know I keep mentioning that but it's it's so apparent and so true and you see that in kids so I've actually tried to be better and sharing my my my not deepest and darkest secrets but just kind of Who I am and this is this is this is what you get and you shouldn't be you should be afraid of you know being who you are and being open about this type of stuff you know it's now we get one go around you only get one try at this so it you don't have to be perfect it doesn't have to be what you see on social media you should you know just just show who you are in the best way you can if you were a tricky transition camp would you tell all the rookies don't read social media don't look at it if you know it's a great young I mean trained young is I would say he's already a bust he hasn't had one game yet yeah I mean people call Steph Curry a bus come on okay or I'm sorry they said he's too small or he's never gonna have success and he's the guy that posts that all the time I think he's an inspiration he's super inspiring because look at him now he's one of these one of the best players of all time and I was gonna go down is he's gonna keep working his way up and through it so I think that in itself is a is a great success story and you know it's tough to not look at situations like that and find inspiration when you're young and to help you through it

Channel: ESPN

Views: 67,589

Rating: 4.9535894 out of 5

Keywords: kevin love, kevin love espn, kevin love mental health, kevin love interview 2018, kevin love anxiety, mental health, kevin love panic attack video, kevin love full interview, kevin love interview anxiety, kevin love anxiety interview, cavaliers, kevin love mental illness, kevin love interview espn, espn, nba, kevin love interview, kevin love panic attack, kevin love depression, kevin love the shop, nba mental health, kevin love social anxiety, nba news, espn nba, nba espn

Id: sW2LVIp9QcU

Length: 45min 12sec (2712 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 24 2018