Kevin Hart: Hilarious Set at Just for Laughs!

[Music] clap your hands so stop being racist clap your hands see I don't like the pressure that women putting on you know like after you have kids it's like you got enough pressure in the marriage as it is like you want me want you to provide for her and a protector I don't mind providing I got money let me pay for stuff I don't like protecting like say me and you go to the movies right and a guy come up and smack you right in the face while we at the movies if you with me then you just got smacked that's something that just happened like we can talk about it when we get in the car let's let's figure out why it happened and see what we can do to prevent it from happening again but as far as me like just going to do something about it I'm not gonna do that because if he didn't care about punching you in the face I know you don't care about my face that's common sense two black eyes on equal 20/20 vision somebody got to get his home that's what I'm good at I'm a witness let me drive I saw everything I saw it all babe when he punched you I got behind a vending machine because I didn't want him to know that we were together that's not in his business I don't like ostriches for those people that don't know what aisha's is it's a bird that's the same size as me I'm in Nebraska right I had a run-in with this ostrich I'm in the braska I'm on the side of the road I'm peeing I get dumped in I look to my left it was an ostrich looking at me while I was peeing he was standing on one leg like this his body was facing this way but it's his hair it was like this now I didn't know what it was so I didn't say nothing my friend got to the car he's like yo what the hell is that I was like I don't know it's like a big pigeon or something I didn't know what it was right he's like ain't no pigeon he took an ink pen threw the pen at it when he threw the pen at the ostrich he hit the options in the chest soon as he hit the options in the chest his other leg came down his body was still facing this way but as he it was still like this I was like you know what we should probably go get in a car because we don't really know what that means you know like that that could be a sign that could mean like you got 10 seconds to get out my face before I kill you I'm gonna eat your kids we don't know woody trying to say such as getting the car when we say fast so we get in the car I start laughing I'm like you were scared man I know you were scared I'm like no you were scared no you know you are I'm driving like 30 miles per hour I look out the passenger window the ostrich was running 30 miles per hours beside the car his body was still facing this way but as he it was like this he was haul ass in at 30 miles per hour now when I'm scared like if I'm real real scared sir I start to cry only if I'm real scared so I was like why would you throw a pin at it if we don't even know what it is I was freaking out right cuz I missed I been little girl just beat up drive faster I start driving 60 miles per hour when I tell you that this ostrich was running 60 miles per hour I'm not playing his body was still facing this way but his head was like this and his legs you couldn't even see him maybe it looked like a black cotton ball flowing it was amazing and I was scared because he never took his eyes off us like he was looking at us the whole time like he didn't check for a wall another bird nothing it's like he was like when I catch y'all imma kill both of y'all over a pin and I was like why don't you just apologize because I was scared I'm scared of dolphins as well I'm very scared of dolphins and I like I said I got a reason to be scared for everything I'm afraid of right me and my lady went Maui one time when Maui she's like baby we should go swim with the dolphins I'm like no I told you how I feel about them dolphins I don't want to swim the dogs she's like come on stop acting like that let's swim the dolphins I like you know what let's talk to dolphins something happened to me it's gonna be on your conscious now we go to swim the Dolphins they got the Dolphins in like this little tank right it's like eight dolphins I see an old lady on the back of a dolphin these little boys I'm like you know what babe I might have been overreacting get the camera take some pictures of me on back in the dolphin I was excited right I get in the water I'm on back her dolphin then struck these as soon as you grab the dolphin fin the dolphin gonna start taking you around so never you ready grab his sin as soon as I grab my dolphin fin my dolphin went straight to the bottom of the tank he went straight down right now because I was scared I didn't let go I held on and you know you scared you start to mentally create stuff for your own mind I was like it's obvious that I gotta race his dolphin he don't like black people that's obvious he didn't cut a deal with a shark to bring him a black piece of meat something bad about to happen right I let go I get to the top I start snapping on the instructor I was like nobody just saw dolphin number eight missing nobody notice that I was going for like 30 seconds get on had the bell and nothing that you ring he's trying to kill me he took me to the bottom of the tank to meet with shirts okay I'm only black that in this damn tank you didn't notice that I wasn't going around huh you see this whole lady and his little boy but nobody noticed the black swirl I didn't notice that he was like whoa whoa calm down it's three feet just stand up and I was like what what he's saying I didn't even realize that I was walking and talking at the same time but it was racist often I'm tell you how I was racist often cuz are you not golfing buddy well when I got out the water I looked at him and he looked at me like I said what did you just hurry up in a great crowd check out these other great clips and be sure to subscribe and ring the bell to be notified about our latest videos [Music]

Channel: WatchMojo.com

Views: 935,734

Rating: 4.8616705 out of 5

Keywords: Just for laughs, Kevin Hart, JFL, JFL Montreal, Montreal comedy, comedy, comedians, Laugh at my Pain, Kevin Hart movies, Kevin Hart comedy, WatchMojo, top 10, top 5, list, best, worst

Id: 23p0I1qhvQs

Length: 5min 40sec (340 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 15 2018