Kev On Stage | #GetSome Ep. 136 with Gary Owen

hey what's up everybody this is gary with the get some podcast my guest this week is eating lunch right off the bat kev on stage aka kevin likes to eat in the middle of the podcast chicken sandwich is amazing gary was like i'm ready to go i was like this sandwich is getting eaten hey listen i put a disclaimer out there um we ordered food all my guests we give the option would you like breakfast lunch whatever whatever time we're recording recording this meal of the day i told kev you want some lunch it took longer than expected i eat faster than kev you eat like you were in foster care i was in the military i was like bro but you're not anymore it it's in me man i just eat fast i'm sorry it was like i was like on the first one and you were halfway through the last thing i'm like bruh and i don't eat slow hold up i've been on my wife gets so mad at me because i eat so fast i'll just start looking at her like you ready to go or let's just talk i go i don't i'm ready to go i'm better i'm done guys now i'm like and i'm an eminent pickle cause i want to eat this last one while it's hot i can tell a long-ass story about me if you want tell me about yourself you're in hey because i want to i want to finish this real quick yeah just do a bengals rant real quick off state i'll be honest with you kev you're the first person and i'm going to use this napkin probably most of this podcast because i feel like something's in my teeth and my nose i had a lettuce wrap i felt like once you got that feeling you can't shake it right you're the first guest that i really don't have a personal relationship yeah as far as that cause everybody else i've had are in my phone they're on my cell phone right you're the first guest that i had to call i had tony baker on a few weeks ago and i said hey tone you got kev on stage number and the reason i wanted you to be the first guest that i didn't really know is you seem like you're an easygoing laidback dude i didn't want a wild card right i don't know what i'm reading it's gonna make you rethink doing it yeah are you like this car you're gonna go right back to your phone like man i have somebody new never mind let me get you one again well it's like it's like if i got somebody either they're not they're giving me one word answers hey miss what's up nothing you performing this week yeah oh we're getting nowhere fast right now that's the worst and then your audience is like all you do is talk like you see me asking the questions right they're not answering there's nothing then you feel the dead air you feel it it's like comfortable can't finish a chicken sandwich the dude's not answering your question listen if you're listening to this podcast kevin's destroying this chick where does it come from let's give the restaurant a little shine r and b r and d bistro and in santa monica and santa monica r d bistro r d b show man not to be confused with b that's what you should tell my mom what are you getting in math class d you say b yes so kem whenever you're done eating i really want to get into your life i'm done no it's fine i'm doing it i had a lettuce wrap i was like i was really impressed by your discipline what bread the no bread do you not eat bread are you like trying to eat right i limit i'm gluten free oh really yeah and i the only reason i went gluten-free is cause do you know romney malco yeah well we didn't personally but i know who you're talking about yeah we didn't think like a man and i was i was heavier then you know i was probably i'm probably about 235 when we shot thing like a man and i've always been like a husky dude yeah but you know camera does add a couple pounds it does and i'll be looking at myself like you guys oh wait wait wait till this airs wait i mean you're gonna look so big they're eating all that bread lots of chicken salad so did you stop eating bread then dude i wouldn't call i'm good at going cold turkey really so we're we were at hugo's on santa monica eaton and romney literally goes hey gary man i tell you if you went gluten-free you'd probably drop 10 pounds quick and i go what's that this is 2011. so this is before everybody got all gluten-free yeah yeah yeah and he's like he started explaining to me what gluten does to your body and then it's like this really all right and then luckily we were at hugo's because romney picked the spot to meet for lunch mm-hmm a lot of gluten free options so it was like that day i went gluten and you never look back never cheated i mean it has to be worth it i can't eat gluten and risk it yeah it has like i know i know there's a lady i know that makes a really good apple crisp mm-hmm so i'm not going to go to her house and be like no i'm not right right right apple crisp and i'm going to destroy it deal with the progression like if i if i s splurged like i probably eat fast food once every five months let's say and if i'm gonna go to mcdonald's get a fillet of fish i'm eating the flavor fish i've always wondered who is keeping the fillet fish in business once every five months i'll order two of them they're like man gary gets them my boy tahir he loves them he gets a double fillet of fish which is too much that's a lot that's too much one i'll do two flavorful sandwich i can't do double it's a good it's a good balance between the fish the fake fish and the bread and the bread and the tartar sauce you can't put two on there it doesn't make it as good who doesn't double flare fish to hear more more you're gonna die soon i don't know where what camera are you gonna look at you're gonna die soon to hear oh you gotta stop man to hear like a regular thing i wouldn't say it's regular but he has done it he's on his way out that's that's that's a big choice man the double fillet fish is a two pieces of fish like that the same fish it's not who okay i'm sure he gets fries and a soda with it too you have to you got to you're good you don't have nothing you're gonna you should change your name to go because you're on your way out you're not going to be here very longer stop for real man but if you do like like i do once every five six months yeah that's fine but you can't be like i'm at mcdonald's okay it's january this is mcdonald's february is wendy's you know march is burger no no i'm talking fast food in general it has to be completely worth it yeah i got my midwest guys a white castle oh my god is i every six months i'll eat it and then it's out of my system i'm like i never wanted to get literally out of your system right away yeah people know that about white castle they're just like i don't care i never had it sober for the longest really because that was the late night yeah you stopped that alcohol up let me tell you the funniest four or six little burgers okay i'm gonna get into your backstory but this is funny story so i'm at a white castle in covington kentucky and this white girl is in there just she sounds er i don't say black but urban right right but it's it's a little force some people do it you're like you're that's how you were raised yeah yeah this was kind of forced and she's going off on the white castle waitress and i'm just sitting there and lying my boy there's a black chick in there yeah six four and thick and she's with like three white girls and real uh meek demeanor yeah just sitting there and his wife going and that white girl the m word came out of her mouth and she wasn't saying it like to anybody black she sent it to the white girl working the rest i never seen an accent leave so fast this black girl went just when the [ __ ] you said and then she went she went no no no no it's okay she goes no it ain't okay okay and all sudden her arm the black girl's arms came back and was like she was so much bigger than the white girl she's looking down at her just just raped like a mother yeah and the girl literally goes i'm sorry i just i didn't know i'm sorry like she was getting so progressively clueless white sorrows didn't know sorry i think she ended it with was it a waffle house i was like i bought her cruise food yeah just because i said i just i just want you to be happy tonight i want you to look back and think all the way people are bad i was like i got it and it literally came to like eighteen dollars it was one of those things where the the black girl's vibe was just like clearly hey we had a good night let's get our food and we're leaving right and that girl was not did that and i wish i was one time that i wish i was one of those people that film everything yeah yeah yeah yeah that was this was recent no this had to be like 2005. oh okay this is 15 16 years ago yeah yeah that that white girl's probably got eight kids by five different black dudes right now she had to make up for that mistake i'm sure there's there's some junior high team right now with three of her mixed kids on the basketball team that's hilarious there's no doubt ball is life has got some of her sons mixed mixtape right now big baller brand but i mean that was that was a funny white castle yes it was worth it but you were we were talking before i got you on here you were raised kind of on earth my dad's in the middle well it was in the military just retired what branch army okay he's an engineer in the army he retired sergeant major so we started in el paso for 10 years that's my mom met my dad so then he was stationed in el paso we got moved to virginia uh for a year three years north carolina for three years back to texas when he was stationed in uh korea and in 13 years in washington state he moved by then i was like married and stuff and i was like all right i'm gonna just stay here is that where you started doing stand up and yeah in washington washington state started doing stand-up i did the first time in church at a at a talent show uh yeah did some church stuff did some you know getting whooped stuff like all i knew at that at that time how old are you 16. first time you went on stage 16 at a church 16 at a church wow yeah so then mess around with a little bit in college i got like a couple like kwanzaa gig one year and like literally just a kwanzaa gig i've never offered i remember my my best joke at that moment was you know black people sometimes they don't say specific they'd be like you need to be more pacific and i was like you know i'm just getting the church in college yeah and i'm like man i'm killing it and we're like to make this more specific we're in the pacific northwest i mean i'll tell you i thought at that time i was like man this is a really great joke and i was only getting like three minutes at a time so like that was my closer essentially pacific uh and then i got really serious about i got fired in uh 2009 and i told my wife like you know i feel like this is god's plan for me you know to to do entertainment because i was doing plays and stuff she was like nah it's not and i was like okay yeah i'll just get a job again but i got fired in 2009 and i was a terrible employee and i'm working out key bank which started in ohio did it yeah yeah key banks big in ohio and i was terrible employee i was printing color pictures of the of my standard comedy shows and one time i left the original in the glass at the copy machine so my manager comes into the break room he's like hey man what's this and i was like oh you saw a flyer yeah bro don't you worry about the tin i got you i'll put you on my list and he's like no i found this in the comment machine i was like oh dude you got fire because of that well that was just one of many things i literally hated that job and like my job was to sell you know banking stuff to people and i just hated it i never sold anything was the boss cool with the flat really i hated it i would think hey you're hustling no he hated me and his boss hated me i was an idiot though like my my area retail leader manager was like what are your dreams and i'm thinking oh this is great we get to know each other and i told her i want to be you know i want to be an entertainer she's like what are your dreams here with this company i literally said i'm just working here until i make it what are you talking about i literally told her that and went home and told my wife man i had a great i had a great talk with lisa i could see why they yeah i could see here you were gonna get employed she was like you told her that i was like she asked she was like you she didn't mean for life she met with the company no lie monday morning i came back they brought me right in like you're on a 90-day performance improvement plan yeah and i knew from that moment i was getting fired see i thought this was going to be like a pursuit of happiness story and the fact that you said that to this oh you're yeah your bosses were right they should have let you go they were absolutely right to fire me i thought this was gonna be one of those man you know i was a good employee you know i just didn't like my job and they were [ __ ] in my job if you say i don't i'm not trying this ain't my career hold on as you're saying it to a woman who's made the decision this is my career literally yeah i don't want to be you i don't want to be you why would i you you want to work for a bank for 25 years you you eat jimmy john's every day for lunch i don't want you to be crazy yeah chicken sandwiches from santa monica when i go on somebody's podcast that's what i'm doing that's where i'm at right now and the thing is i was legitimately mad at them for years i like carried a chip on like a jordan level chip on my shoulder you guys fired me i'll prove it to you and then like as the years went on i was like actually it was it's good for business that's that's i think that's everybody when it really happens like you can like you're going to audition and think you kill it and then you go to the movie and you see who they cast it and you're like man they don't know right i could kill that role and then every now and then you look back like maybe maybe my audition wasn't that great i've had a lot of those where i've always thought i've killed it i hate auditions oh me too it's in it's an exact science so it's part of the business and i get it but you know this is this is i'm okay with auditioning and then not getting at him for whatever reason the thing i hate the most is you go in and usually it's during pilot season and you're studying three scenes all night you're just in your [ __ ] room yeah yeah and then you get there go we're just gonna do scene one and scene one is like three lines you're like there's nothing funny on scene what i was doing c1 to get the scene right right so you could really get off i was like you'd be like this there was one and i told this story it might have been a tony baker somebody else uh that tv show superior donuts yeah yeah yeah where i knew knowing this business like they they got this part casted yeah they're just doing this not to be rude at this point because i it was i mean it was like 10 pages three different scenes i'm up for three days because i like the script and i knew they had some comedians attached to their videos it would be a fun show to be on yeah and as soon as i walked in and i literally i don't know why i thought i was that special that i was going to producers at that point when i saw him just going to casting i go this is just casting cause you know it's weird like sometimes i read for pilots i'm i skipped the first round yeah this wasn't spiritual when that was that was cattle call time yeah yeah so i see all these guys in the lobby that are kind of looking like me and i go oh it's just cattle call yeah and then lady goes we're just gonna do like i said we're just gonna see one it was on the line it was like two lines oh my god and it wasn't like two long lines it was like what are you doing here you're crazy like that right it's so simple and i just went there you got this cast how do you even get you can't just let's just not i walked and looked at everybody and then i literally i gave nothing gary owen where are you from gary america so like why are we doing it i literally wanted to be like this who got it for real who got it just tell real i don't know i don't want to sit here and waste my time i've auditioned a lot to me and i don't be booking nothing that i'm talking about it's hard on your psyche yeah because then you don't hear back here's the thing they always say you got to be a tough skin this business because you get told no a lot i go no you don't no you never get told no no it's okay i need the hey i tried out for the team i went out i look my name's not on there but there are names on there i can deal with that it's just a thank you and then you just walk back to your car and then three weeks later you see the scene that you you memorized on tv you guys were already in production on this what are you even asking before you clearly already shot this scene you already shot it yeah we just got to get to know more people and casting directors and the producer you never know which there is truth to that there is definitely true i've had i've gotten parts because i had a i went auditioned and not tv but movies yeah and the casting director went to bat for me right i've gotten stuff because the cast writer literally was like no it's i like gary for this and that's that's the thing that's hard to like remember sometimes the casting director likes you or the director likes you and the network doesn't or somebody above them like there's so much that goes into it that your talent isn't isn't the only factor well for me i know i'm the best so i don't get it when i don't get stuck kevin's different most people they're like i don't know why i got them like this i don't why do you not put lebron on the team literally literally i remember auditioning i'm not adam morrison it's super hilarious see i gave you pacific northwest shout out dude i'm a beast i think adam morrison was coming up told you i'm the best he told you i'm the best gonzaga's greatest man but uh i remember issa ray friend of mine i got an email from her no friend of mine i don't get to do it often so when i take the chat when i have it i will i don't know why i didn't get insecure i was like that's how you casted issa ray i was like this i could have crushed that role i don't get it man i'm totally insecure insecure for her part it was weird i was in the lobby it's all these black women i go what is going on here i killed it though that's hilarious but yeah i auditioned for a scene in that and it was like at the bottom of the emails like issa would like to personally see you so i was like of course this is just you know so i thought i got it and they were like oh you don't audition i was like oh formality of course you got to do that just to produce receive it's one of those four or six weeks later i saw people booked it and it was like a lot of handsome fit people and i was like ah it was like her dating interest and i was just looking at myself no no not little real uh but a couple of dudes who were like 185 and i was like and i'm kind of like i'm balding you know i just i'm not the guy you cast to be the romantic interest for a 28 year old woman yeah you know i'm hey there's a dad picking up a son from soccer right a little out of shape sugar used to be junior varsity starter bridges l.a county not madison county right but yeah man it's like it's it's part of that's why i do so much of my own stuff because no one can tell me no but that's the that's the beauty of the times we're living in now like you said you moved out here eight years ago yeah you know when i when i got to la over 20 years ago uh you know you're at you were at the mercy of networks and producers and quote unquote the gatekeepers like yeah you couldn't like create your own narrative or there was no podcast back then that's that's the thing i'm the most grateful for is we we've come up in an era where you can create your own stuff and nobody can tell you you can't make a youtube page you know what i'm saying you can't have your own podcast you can't write your own movie you know what i mean but before there was no way to distribute that camera all that stuff was way too expensive for the average person to do it or share it but now because the internet we've been able to level the playing field you know what i'm saying and and you got a podcast i got a podcast you know i mean you're in traditional movies i mean they are traditional i don't know why i did this but yeah but i can make a movie and distribute it i just it's just not gonna be in theaters but also our theater is gonna be a thing right i was just reading an article like 350 regal theaters closed and like amc like you can rent a whole amz for 99 so it's like does that is that gonna matter as much in the future as it did because you know disney just announced their they're focusing on on disney plus almost exclusively so movies are going to come out always but they're not going to come out in the traditional way and if people are used to watching movies on their tv anyway then it's much easier for me to say hey man watch my movie you 10 15 bucks you know after you finish your your big disney plus thing so that's what i'm banking on society changing well there uh i'm a lie there's still nothing there's no um how can i say it there's no feeling like a movie coming out and going to your premiere of course walking the carpet and all that stuff yeah but billboard in santa monica or times square obviously it's cool that's what i want yeah it's cool but i keep not getting booked but they're still just as good feeling is like i just i had the the movie came out a couple weeks ago with michael j white on netflix welcome to sudden death and just the randomest people amen i saw your [ __ ] like this did you yeah and i'm thinking this thing like a man or something like nah i better join with a you he was a janitor man got your ass kicked by the girl i'm like okay i'm the guy i got my asking by a girl now i'll take it at least i've seen you you know so it's no exact like i said there's no exact science of this business the key and i think a lot of i know i'm in the older comic category yeah i just did what you did so yeah it's contagious you have to stay up with the times yeah so like i thought four years ago i've been like i ain't doing no podcast of course i don't want you know what what for what yeah and now i'm like this uh i'm mad at that if i didn't have one i'm like what i gotta do a podcast dude why wouldn't you now plus it's it's also uh it's good to i don't have that time with comedians because we don't get a lot of it together no i was telling lunell told me that one time she was like you're not gonna get to see your friends perform unless you're on the same show like your best shot is to catch them in the airport leaving the hotel you're coming into like but actually get to watch them perform it's going to be few and far between because if you're both good you're both going to be working you know what i'm saying so yeah that's one thing uh covert has given us is more time to like shoot each other stuff with zoom and all that type of stuff and a good thing about podcasts is it's it's going back to it's not about you know i sometimes wish i could get that feeling when i was an open micro where i they'd be like gary yeah you got it you're on from 9 30 to 9 40. so be here and then your butterflies kick in like immediately get the phone call and then like for three hours you're like oh [ __ ] you're going up tonight but you're so excited and then you don't have that feeling anymore like do you guys get nervous anymore no no no a stand-up yeah no even the big arena shows no it's just really no new material no i love it like you're at your level it's like i've seen gary on the movies i saw him in comics or whatever the expectation is much higher you know he got delivered baby i'm scared i'm good hey listen man you good you good right no i get more anxious um but what i like about the podcast is when you're reaching out to people two things i was the only thing i was worried about with the podcast was everyone says no and i go oh my god i'm an [ __ ] it's like when i made it when we transitioned from me doing it by myself to me having guests yeah i was like it's gonna really let me know how people feel about it that's true because for you to anybody to come to to get in their car drive down to this studio you're taking time out of your day yeah there's no money in it right you know what i mean delicious chicken sandwich chicken salad you can get to enjoy it get water definitely watch we got you a latte yeah we would have got you a latte in fact can we order a latte in the middle of the podcast get the latte man i want the food oat milk latte sure open my iced oat milk latte all right watch this yeah i'm almost out of questions no but it's it's it's one thing you're like oh this guy's really just doing this to do it yeah but at the same time you never know work gets work yeah so if you don't have anything going on and you can go on somebody's platform that you never knew who could see it and i'll give you a perfect example so the day i went on harry connick junior's daytime talk show i'm just a guest yeah yeah yeah it was the day and that's how you never know it was the day it was 2016 the day after trump got won the election mm-hmm so the whole country was kind of in shock yeah so i go on harry's show and it's just a weird vibe i bet it was i mean is it in new york too yeah okay so literally the results came in at 8 00 pm became official at 7 8 am i'm on set right yeah i thought i thought oh my god they're never going to have me back harry didn't like me but i just didn't realize everybody was just weird fast forward i shoot a pilot that didn't get picked up for a daytime talk show and i asked the guy that one of the producers i said how did you get wind to me because they really were after me right right he goes i was a producer on harry's show he said when you came on harry's show you just were uh you looked oblivious to everything that was going in the country you were just happy-go-lucky talking about your family your reality show he goes yeah and he said harry was a little off that day but you kept the energy yeah and i go that's that's what got it but then you thought where you feel like you didn't bring them to the table and then he said oh he said when i get in he goes that guy that guy could be a talk show host wow so i was just like so we did a pilot didn't get picked up that happens but work got worked yeah work always gets that's why you just got to be a pro every time watch how your career takes off after this [ __ ] i've cussed three times because kev doesn't cuss i don't know if you guys realize that no i don't [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] he can't say it those didn't even go together it doesn't it's not supposed to it's just like random there's no rhyme of reason to know work gets worked man because you don't know you don't know who's watching what i was telling you before you came on uh i had a guy toriyon a month ago and we talked about this shady promoter from back in the day yeah the shady promoter who has been m.i.a for 20 years all of a sudden called another guy like hey what was gary bell before i'm like this so now you appear you let me tell you you talk smack about somebody they find out they especially if you have like a fan base they'll be watching everything you are on and then kev they were saying this about you over here oh yeah yeah they'll tag you to the minute mark like scroll to 2 15. yeah they was talking crazy like that's happened a lot of time i mean a lot of time but it's happened enough you know yeah but you know it's come to the game it's weird when if people like give you criticism and you have to step back like are they hating or are they being honest right right because sometimes fans have legit constructive criticism sometimes they're just pissed off yeah and you're on their phone or tv screen or whatever or even comedians are talking about other comedians and you're like is he being a dick or is he really just giving his honest opinion i had uh i had aries on here and i said that's your problem you're too honest right because you're really he's not when i had him on here i told him i said dude sometimes when you're talking i wish she wouldn't say anything cause i'm like you're taking the bait you're taking the bait man you know like when he had that thing with naim and him and i was going back and forth yeah i said what was the deal with that and he was telling me something about naive i said but you know he has to defend kevin has to kevin is like taking him on tour and now they got the radio show i said if i'm kevin i'm mad at naive for sure for not sticking out for me it's like if if your wife's pissed off at you they don't give somebody else license to talk crazy about you like no i'll talk that's my husband though i don't know who you think you know this should be pissed at them you know what i'm saying so i think a lot in a lot of ways especially the bigger you get in this industry you kind of got to be like the the star quarterback of your own business like you can't take debate with the media you can't you know you can't fall into those traps you got to take all the all the blame and none of the success like you kind of almost have to be like that because you know people will bait you you know that people bait you into a twitter war and then if you respond it's like look at gary owen he over here going back and forth with little old me like bro i'm i'm just a regular person who has their mentions on too you know what i mean like i i'm an artist i'm sensitive about my stuff you know i'm saying so but and it's hard to always be the bigger person sometimes you just want to be like first of all you can forget all this you know what i'm saying like i'll let you know what it is and what it ain't but it really never usually benefits you in the way of just like other than feeling better it's like a heckler you know we talked about it we said like you as a stand-up you'll have a thousand people in the audience man 999 are dying and the one guy you said dressed in red is just looking at you like why is he not laughing yes you'll get off stage like what's wrong with that dude in the red not the other thousand people that haven't thought the show was great dude what's his problem you don't even have you could have the best out of your life if one person ain't left and i've had situations where that person has had like a vip ticket and like it's getting a picture i'm like dude what was your deal were you laughing like oh i just don't be laughing i love you though man let's get this selfie and i'm like yeah when you come to the show you're not you're like no man i'll be laughing like that like well it's like if you if you're a headliner and you're on a show with like you only want some of these tours where it's four or five headliners yeah like you can go up late and the audience can be tired basically be tired yeah and then you're not getting the reaction you are used to and you'll get off like damn i kind of ate it and bombed and then all you're meant to be like funny [ __ ] tonight man i loved it man that was great had a great time like this i didn't get that at all i didn't get that vibe from you at all how about this do you sell merch after your show yep you'll go up at a comedy club and have an okay audience and sell everything right then you'll go up and destroy and won't sell [ __ ] you're like you always feel like if i killed they're better you know everything and they're just like laughing right past your t-shirt you're leaving on the way up this [ __ ] it's terrible what about this i mean i've had some of the worst shows as far as audience-wise like not laughter-wise but like small shows then you really meant five minutes yeah you ever had an oat milk latte i've never had oatmeal dude i'm opening your horizons oh that's good that's actually really good there's no sugar no dairy you're not gonna you don't have dairy either no dairy no gluten mm-hmm what kind of desserts did you have done a little bit a little bit of dairy every now and then but no that's amazing though that's creamy still i was worried about the oatmeal to be creamy sounded weird i like a creamy latte man creamy just sounds weird coming out of a guy's mouth creamy moist they're weird things the guy should that [ __ ] never gonna don't ever describe an oatmeal glasses creamy this is creamy and moist no just say hey it's like milk but nah man it is creamy [ __ ] you can't say it [ __ ] stop saying creepy if this motherfucker's screaming one more time i remember when i was first starting we talk about merch i remember when merch i routinely made more in a weekend in merch then i got paid like merch was the gate key to my good weekend or not like i was getting paid 120 i remember i was flying from here to athens georgia to get 125 for an hour and i was like man this is the math ain't nothing you know what i mean just parking my car and riding the flyway i made maybe 80 bucks 60 bucks you know when you take all the food and stuff out but i made like 1500 in shirts in one day because people was the headliner you was the headliner i was the headliner yeah yeah but it was it was at a church at that time i was doing almost always only churches what'd you what'd your shirt say i think they just said faith at the time oh wow but the tea watch this gary the t was a cross wow come on it hadn't been done wow actually had been done the truth i saw it at a forever 21 store and i was like i'll be taking that i think i know why you haven't been casting anything you're a legend and your own t-shirt's like oh no way you went to a church and sold faith but the t was a cross he was a cross where was jesus was he on the tee it was just the cross it wasn't it wasn't a real cross you got it you got it thorns can we get um can we get like a nail in the h like directing into the chip so it's resurrection you know when it gets dirty can we have the sweat has resurrection come through it oh like those workout shirts when you sweat it like reveal something else i want the whole biblical thing you're sweating it starts off as faith and when you sweat jesus pops up and then this prophet he's got guns and i want mel gibson passion of the christ shirt oh then we got james caviezel what has that guy been up to him he always pops up in something though you think he's not working random it does he after passing the cross i hadn't seen him then i saw him like a like a not a buddy cop but like a suspense thriller he was a cop or something like that he was on a tv show too for a little bit was he yeah some of them people somebody come down after jesus though especially that one yeah i mean that was like a it was a pretty interesting did you see it in the theaters i saw it at church i saw in a theater and i almost started laughing really because the lady in front of me was bawling her eyes like yeah i was like this it's not real there's okay i've cried at movie theaters like et i was so low like five when it came out or something yeah yeah when okay elliott and him i was like i think as an adult i've ever been in a theater and just started crying nah i mean i've gotten like a little right fisher you said moist by the way just what i told you right creamy moist i'm sorry about that see what you did see what you changed fishing was super intense though so i got a little teary-eyed there you go at antoine fisher i was like he was going to help man welcome [ __ ] old crooked knuckles that's how she got cancer that was the audition they literally had a line of old black women going like this welcome thank you can you come in they said they were studying for two more seeds they're like we're just gonna do the welcome line yeah welcome whoa who's going thank you i think i killed it welcome oh my god it was funny the worst i ever cried in movie movie you wouldn't expect the croods i don't know if you saw that huh the croods it's a it's an animated movie about caveman but listen though it was the fatherhood thing because he was like taking care of his family he was about to die to save his family and the father in me was like well i would die for my family if we was cavemen too man i would just die i was crying but the worst i don't know if you seen this movie me earl and the dying girl it is who's in that uh nobody big it was like a small movie i saw on a plane but they tell you what's going to happen at the very beginning spoiler alert me earl why do i know that film rj something the black dude is rj something i can't think of rj seiler is a black dude in it super funny him and his boy and this they meet this girl she's sick they tell you what's going to happen as soon as the movie starts and then what happens exactly what they say happens happens and you're not expecting movies to do that anymore you're expecting to be like a twist no twist we told you it was going to happen it's in the title then when it happens i was crying on an airplane on the way to a show i'm talking about shoulders going flying in new york i had to put my hoodie on and turn to the side like making noise in seat 24b the movie yeah me the girl and the dying girl i gotta watch out by myself but watch it by yourself cause you'll be surprised how emotional you get like it was still what's up man um i'm thinking what gets me every time like i'm just like oh god triumphant stuff man like pursuit of happiness oh my gosh when he gives him the job the way he just went down the stairs all like jittery the fresh prince when his dad left him bro i was mad at my dad during that episode and he was in the kitchen that was like oh you just going my dad was kind of him for a while really he's good now but growing up that hit home brother i like this that's the first time i really cried oh that fresh prince episode man it just happened yeah you think i want this it just happened the way he did that are you a better man than me oh okay phil way to go wait way to become the victim right it's every every therapist you meet he did it oh way to be the victim you already left webster now you're gonna leave will this guy left everybody oh such a good scene man it just happened he should have went around like this he was acting so hard with his hands it was going so hard man trying to think what's another field that i just cannot i gotta there's certain movies you have to watch by yourself yeah you will freaking lose it um i'm trying to think antoine fisher i got me good pursuit of happiness got me good boys in the hood man when trey's crying no when he shot ricky man oh my god i thought he died for real oh you thought more i thought he died for real and the same day i saw that he was on the tonight show and he came out and i was i freaked out they were like ladies and gentlemen more chess than he came i was like what he's at three o'clock he died yeah what what what is he doing out here like i was i don't know why i was watching boys in the hood and the tonight show whatever on the same day but i was lost man i i did a joke uh about every time i watch boys and hood i think ricky might live every time just make a left or stop eating the twinkies everybody says that he he didn't have time for like he was supposed to go ufc he should have juked it was in slow motion right he got like three steps and then rajon rondo shot him in the back how about this the guy that shot him i'm on youtube and i saw this whole youtube video and he really became that dude he's a murderer for real really he really like was and he had like some heat on him in hollywood even that little scene really he got he started to get phone calls and things were bubbling but he couldn't leave the street level and then i think things dried up a little bit and he went to crime you know what you know what [ __ ] me up out of all not there's some obviously screwed up stories in hollywood yeah but speaking of antoine fisher and eight mile there was an actor that committed suicide he was in both what's can you look that up as a black he was from dayton ohio you know from cincinnati so he was on a show on bravo called the it factor too and then in fact jeremy renner lisa ray he was on it and i remember i just was rooting for him and then all of a sudden what happened was he got antoine fisher yeah and he got eight mile back to back so he could have been the other way yeah yeah yeah so he's like dude i'm in i'm doing this yeah angelo wilson what year did he die 2008. damn 12 years ago so you figure eight mile and and anton fisher was 2001 2 3 something like that yep yep so and i remember i saw him in a sprite commercial no way like in 2005 or six yeah i was like oh okay he's still working yeah and then i just it was like you know third page of the la times or something they found him in like a warehouse and he hung themselves oh my god and they talked to like family and friends and they go he was he was getting depressed because he wasn't working that's the thing like low-key one thing that i don't i don't suffer from depression but one thing that helps me in the like audition process is i always have something else to go to like i always have i stand up i have podcasts i make my own videos for fun like there's always something i can control yeah the audition room i feel the most powerless in high auditioning and pitching it's like all on the other side of the table you literally have you do your best but you you don't you're you're you're a morgan freeman in shawshank redemption literally like you look like this i'm good i'm i'm rehabbed right i'm going to deliver i'm going to know my lines i'm going to give you a hit show now you almost got to be dead inside like you have to audition with your best but like you like a cornerback who just got scored on you just got to like all right i gotta shake it off and think about it as an actor and hold on think if for people that don't know what was the name again deanzo wilson was he was the guy that shot the store owner and antoine fisher his best friend and then in eight mile he was just one of the crew one of rabbit's crew that's true can you imagine being an actor and you're out here and you're just you're grinding and you're probably running with other people that are grinding yeah right yeah so at least that gives you a little context because you're like okay there's other people going through what i'm going through right but then to get something and to think all right i'm in and then yes let me tell you when i realized how this business works right i'm out here open mike and try my name out there and i had a lot of [ __ ] come early like my first year in hollywood hollywood i got comic view i got your first year i wouldn't even live in here i was in the navy i was still active duty when i got on comic view what i took a week's leave and came up and shot you're lying i was stationed in san diego you booked comic view and and you weren't even living in l.a you were still in the military yeah i was still active duty i was in the navy wow i drove i auditioned i won this contest of san diego said looking for the funniest black comedian san diego country i want it was a z90 was a radio station you won it you went into that was like yeah and there was like first prize was i don't know i don't know like some gift certificate some food place like 100 bucks or something but you also they they kept promoting it there will be execs from comic view there yeah and i don't know who was there but anyways it got me the audition to go wow so i had to come to la and do a little showcase but it was a it was a comic view showcase so it was uh i don't know somewhere off wilshire so i went up did that i got on the show when i said you're this your film day i've never been on the road i have never been on the road i just watched you literally got a super you had a playoff run in your first season right i was saying i was i was uh andy ruiz would you be would he be would be anthony johnson yeah that was me i was like mom we ain't got struggle no more so anyway wow i i took a week's leave and come with you they filmed it in a week yeah so i'm thinking i might be up here monday but i kept winning so i came in to come back you know what i'm gonna do [ __ ] i want to get him come back because it was a contest then they said um you know you win all your first three rounds then you get an hour special so i got hours special when i tell you i don't know where the hour special is you really only had to do 45 minutes because it was commercial they weren't they were counting for commercial breaks yeah so i had maybe 20. when i tell you it's the slowest paced hour special like i'm like i tell a joke and then i walk to one side of the stage i walked and i go yeah i waited till the last person left and then i went into the next joke and i weighed a couple jokes like i just said i just go try this and then the the couple jokes i tried worked a little yeah but i put them kind of in the middle and i was just like i knew i had a strong first joke and a strong last joke right i don't i don't know where the other 40 was gonna work out but i knew i had a good two and a half and a strong two and a half in the beginning and end and that's really what it's about that's hilarious so then they curtis gadson called and said you want to be the host and i was like oh i still got like couple months left in my enlistment he doesn't know him in the navy navy doesn't the nate there was people in the navy but the navy didn't know like i was on the gate literally i'm on the i was a a master at arms really i'd be on the gate waving cars on the base and somebody be like hey man brother we on tv last night oh yeah yeah come on keep it moving bro and then if the girl was cute hey where else you i was hold this so yeah yeah i'm on tv you know what it is man i got this little thing next month wow so you went from the military to professional stand-up comedian that's where i got i think that's where i got a lot of my um quote-unquote hate cause i remember talking to some more about it and i samore had been the host and i had saw her at like the improv and i was like man i didn't i thought everybody got along and stand up you know what i mean like i didn't i was like i've been nice to everybody man you never said a bad word about anybody you skipped over people is that what it was yeah well s'more said she goes gary i was the first female host she goes so i caught a lot cause i was a female mm-hmm and she goes you're white you're so easy yeah it's so easy that you're the easiest mark out there how you gonna make the white dude and then i had never been on the roads nobody really knew me that's another thing i didn't see any strikes i couldn't travel i was working right but i didn't want to go on the road talk about el paso my first ever road gig was the was it the comic strip yep el paso bart or something like that yeah i got it right yeah yeah yeah i went i'll never forget i drove from san diego to el paso oh my god um it was a thursday friday saturday sunday gig so i took off work early thursday and the couple guys i was stationed with cover for me there's like we got your gear go ahead you can do what i was doing yeah so i was like dude they're going to pay me 500 bucks for the weekend yeah i was like i'm out i'm going to del paso i got in my s10 early 20s bro you were laughing that's nothing s10 pickup i had the cassette tapes going on the window down oh my god i'm living life like 500 500 baby and then um i remember i got there they put you in a condo i didn't know comic etiquette and i remember this guy named chaz ellsner who was the headliner and uh i got there and nobody was there oh my god this is awesome i thought it was by myself i went in the big bedroom laid up also chazz elder show he goes hey how's it going man what's up are you on the show what's up gary and i don't know why i became a surfer that day with some of them gary man yeah it's gonna be awesome tonight man you guys you guys are looking moist and creamy it's [ __ ] creamy moist over there all right so uh he said yeah um i think i'm supposed to be in this room and i go oh my god you're the headline this is this the headliner room you think i'm sorry grabbed all my [ __ ] put it in there now me being a headline i would have been like i would have called the club i need new sheets i need everything sanitized chas is just like thanks and moved right in i'm on the bed what's up man elsa did not give a [ __ ] so i moved to the side bedroom and what i remember about the weekend is only thing i ate i knew i could eat at the club for free yeah so i remember i bought a box of cereal and a gallon of milk what 10 bucks yeah yeah uh our arby's beef and cheddar you can get two of them it was that time you get two for like five dollars so that was like the seal for breakfast two beef and cheddars for lunch that was friday saturday sunday every day well it's just three days and then i eat it for dinner club was i was astounded the food was free at the club i go what how do you guys make money astounding you're paying me 500 wow i don't know where you're paying that guy and you're giving us food for free holy [ __ ] and then they get then they had they hit me with this yeah the drinks though aren't the drinks are like half off cause you're the feature i like this don't worry about that right ain't no drinks coming down this system but that was that was my weekend i was like this so five fifteen dollars at arby's and then twenty-five dollars on food for the weekend so you came over 475. mine is gas and i did hang out a little bit i went to uh juarez oh my god i've never been i don't know that was all well when i was growing up in el paso when i was in high school that was like the thing to do because you could drink at 16 wow this is before the cartel kind of got crazy later on in their life they were like all right we don't people don't do that anymore yeah sometimes something happens like the jail is the least of your concerns yeah you were like there was kids like that like missing yeah like they go over there for like after a football game and you would not see them anymore so after a while when i was in 10th grade they were like oh yeah man we don't people don't go to waters no more you know what's weird about that is you could drive on the highway and you see juarez you see the poverty yes on the side of the mountain you're like this dude it's hard to explain to people who haven't who haven't been there hold on it makes the projects in america look like beverly hills you want to see some projects look over the river way down el paso and look to your right look over the rio grande it's it's a rio grande it's a whole different literally even the street lights are a different color they're like light blue and then in the states they're like you know yellow or whatever yeah it's a it's a it's an issue the one thing i remember is somebody some young guy that worked at the club took me to juarez after the show and he he he knew spanish that's why we went he knew spanish and this the door this i thought i don't know what it was but it stopped about right here about four feet it was a doorway yeah stopped to four feet this hooker came from under the door and she went like you know ten dollar [ __ ] [ __ ] and i go and i was literally the comedian came at me i go um if you're gonna learn english don't watch full metal jacket and the guy goes no no don't say anything smart i go what i go she i don't think she understood me anyways but the fact that she was like 10 [ __ ] [ __ ] or something like oh yeah yeah and he was like dude don't don't just don't acknowledge the hookers dude we don't know what's going on i like this all right so i was like you might have to talk to girls down there or anything but that was my night in juarez is that the only time you went to juarez yeah yeah that one day that one night i walked around we was down by an hour or two and then came back wow nothing happened i'm safe no breaking bad happened like so you had the comic view and what other stuff you said you had an early oh then okay this is how i knew about i'm sorry we got sidetracked that's how i know this business was this was my reality check so i get a movie with jamie foxx and jamie saw me on stage and i was like yo i'm doing this movie called held up yup yup um i we got this redneck cop but once you get down so i had to go audition but it's kind of like my audition to lose yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah jamie made a phone call so i did it got the part i go to canada i'm up there for like four or five weeks i come back to the states and they have they had a car waiting on me at the airport in my brain i'm gonna walk into my apartment and my answering machine is about to be full right like dude we want you for this this this this this i just never get the empty feeling when that driver dropped me off at my little ass apartment and i walked in i went oh this is that's it nobody's calling three days go by nobody nobody's called yet okay i don't really have an agent or anything does anybody have my number i'm calling the produce i flew back with the producer in the movie i'm calling her i never forget her name was stokely chaffin mm-hmm i wonder i'm sure she's killing it right now she was great but i remember asking her calling her like hey what's going on stoke you got any other movies right you gotta eat more than a movie from launcher what's going on it was three years where i got another movie really no three years next movie i got was daddy daycare after held up that is insane and and then but see you always have stand up to work back to always other actors don't have that can you imagine what they're saying that's an empty feeling you actor you're grinding you're with other people grinding you get a movie with a huge star yes and you come back thinking doors are open they're not you're just like i can't like when i get residual checks i look at them like god i can't imagine just waiting for these to pay my bills right that's some like like the cosby show people they're like what what is your bra are you crazy like they don't have his money right so for those who go to like to drop crazy that's it man you end up like this no disrespect the dude who played elvin is like in trader joe's like as a man you like bro i gotta i gotta work like you know i'm saying like feeling sorry for yourself is not gonna pay no bills exactly but like we've always had stand up we can especially now like you can always outside of like covey at least the club you've been back on the road for six weeks now straight really mm-hmm are they still uh so uh limited it's half full half full i always say it looks like a cavs game after lebron that's exactly what the comedy comes look like i know this is the kyrie cav tour i'm doing so at this point are you just doing it because you obviously like don't have to be on the road right now well i mean you still got listen you still got bills and you're used to a certain lifestyle and you're used to seeing a certain amount of money in the bank so you want to make sure that that stays the same exactly and uh yeah so i i don't i didn't have anything growing up i never had money bro so i'm like you work like you can always be poor always that's what people always like why do you work so hard like i was poor i was broke still much longer than i've been okay i've been okay for like three years max no i've poured for 33. no the most i think one of the most liberating feelings i've ever had in my life and it's so minor was after boot camp i was in the navy and i got stationed in dc and we went to like some little restaurant and it hit me like holy [ __ ] i can buy my own food that's so so simple that i never was saying i was gonna ask permission from a parent or something to eat when you i grew up in a trailblar we didn't have nothing yeah so i the fact that i was like i got i got a little money i can buy i can buy this burger and fries whatever i want and then i was always good with my money like i was always a little frugal but i'm always good with it and then when you start coming into a decent amount of money in this business you're just like i don't want i don't want to be broke again man that you bro you don't never want to go back to that so you got money in the bank yeah it's such a oh i just sometimes i love going to my phone and looking at my accounts i know it sounds crazy like this i do it too this is awesome i've been looking like i'll be screenshotting it just in case i fall off completely yeah i could be like bro one day though i had this yeah i'm broke now but once upon a time in my life even like when i get the i know it sounds weird i love paying my guys you guys work for me yeah i'm like this i like for writing their checks like this is cool i'm you feel you got that boss feeling right but you're also like all right now my guys are good too yeah i mean that's a good feeling that's the best part to be able to like like for me it's important that if you work with me especially on a consistent basis like i don't ever want to be like man kevin's way here and his other people are like struggling like you know what i'm saying like i don't i don't want that to be used against me either but i want people to be like bro kevin's he take care of me you know what i'm saying you getting with good with kev you're straight but you just got to keep that amount of people who can say that really small you know what i'm saying people that appreciate what you're doing for them yeah yeah some people you know like in this business i've had i've gone through a couple openers because you know you get comfortable yeah i'm feeling titled like i've never my guys i've never taken 10 of their money i know there's some people that take ten percent of the openers money yeah i know there's comics to do that i'll tell you off stage but i know really if you're gonna road they're taking ten percent like an agent what the club gives you so what do you what do features get 100 bucks yeah 100 usually or 150 if you're going to do a two-man show for a host and that yeah they'll take 10 15 bucks a show but why though don't ask me i don't do it but i also tell my guys like guys that are open for in the past like you realize like i'm your booking agent yeah i'm not throwing it out there i said but when i i had okay my one guy uh say yeah mom if you know say homora m mm-hmm he's been overflowing for a couple years now no he's on the podcast next when we talk about it where he goes um one time we were in houston and he got comfortable i'll put it that way so i asked him to drive me from the hotel to this restaurant because i was meeting friends for a thursday night football game yeah yeah yeah and he goes huh i go and he just dropped me off they're going to bring me back when he dropped me off and granted it's in rush hour yeah yeah so we're on our way to um this restaurant he is on 10. he's like yo i got i need a job description because i thought i was your i'm like your web guy and then i'm opening for you i could be in my room writing jokes going over my act right now i'm your driver right i am your driver i just got off the plane i'm tired when he got going he was going i'm sitting there going oh and in my brain i'm going wait a minute i you're going out to eat with me i'm not saying drop me off eat with me i'm waiting on my friends one you asked me if it wasn't an extra ticket i said it's not my tickets i'm a guest of somebody yeah so i don't have an extra ticket so you're not tired you would've went to the game and then i'm like you realize i'm not asking you to go build a habitat for humanity home i'm asking you to go to dinner with me so i let him go all weekend he said he said he needed a raise right so i let him go all weekend i was gonna give him a raise right sunday comes i sit him down the green room with the houston improv i said hey man i thought about what you said and uh this is what i came up with and i could tell he's like i go this just ain't working out oh so i don't have to let you go he didn't make a sound he went he did every movement i go dude are you in the java walkies right now what's going on all right because what i go dude i don't tell you say i go i'm i i'm in my mind i'm taking care of you uh you're staying at five star hotels yeah yeah you're not you're not a shitty hotel right you're staying where i'm staying i said i'm not taking ten percent of your money i said you don't have to worry about booking yourself you theory or like looking at the schedule and you're there you're working yeah i go so i go i guess that's not good enough for you i was like so i'm gonna let you go and i go i'm gonna find somebody else and he was and then we talked about it and he realized oh you were serious dead serious oh you weren't just oh no he was gone you were dying oh i thought you were like teaching him a lesson i mean you were but not like a fake lesson you were really gonna let him go yeah oh snap yeah yeah i was like this what's going on here i was like i was lost like dude yeah you just told you've told me how broke you were for the longest right i'm like this i was i was dumbfounded at almost the arrogance right of it all right right and to his credit we laugh about it now yeah and he said what happened was he was doing a lot of my web stuff at the time and the manager raymond of the houston improv gassed him up because he was like yo who does your website and i go say the guy whatever he goes yo we've had a lot he goes he was showing me the numbers of he goes we've had a lot of clicks that went from your website to buy tickets he goes so whatever algorithms is going on the internet with your website it's working right because people are going directly from your website to get to the improv yeah yeah yeah say got he was like it's sure html my name is algorithm my name is algorithm m so he said and he granted i love this guy yeah he's still working with me to this day yeah it was um and this was five years ago just he had a reality check in a moment we've all had it absolutely and he was like but the funniest was this i remember my kids there's a company right around the corner from here and my kids were working there and i we were getting paid 500 for me to write direct produce edit their sketch show and and to pay them so we like you know all did that so they're like the number three thing on this channel like number three videos they have the top video so i tell my wife like we should renegotiate their contract you know what i'm saying we're bringing all these numbers to this youtube page my wife is like i agree i was like we should get a new apartment cause i'm sure it's going to work right when i tell you i told these people i'm looking for double a video maybe even triple when i'll settle for double these people were like oh actually we're going to end your contract we're not going to re-up with you i'm like well okay i didn't go back to the 500 500 is great i'm out you know putting away for the kids that was my first lesson in hollywood you never know got you role playing we got a new sketch show called we don't appreciate i would say [ __ ] but i don't cuss we don't appreciate sh star star so do you guys like the show concert okay i'm just checking that's fine are you talking about learning a hard lesson in hollywood going to renegotiate for more and getting nothing but that's that year well i don't know how that works but that's what agents managers are for yeah we didn't have that at that time every time they i get an offer for something or something comes along the pike or you know whatever i'll i'm very clear to be like between us i'm doing it do what you do try to get more money on that right but i'm doing it there's been some projects that's like that's great right i'm doing this show or this movie do what you got to do make it happen though but i'm doing it you know what i mean yeah i just want you to know that you don't want them to negotiate you out of something you wanted to do yeah i mean what you don't want to do either you don't want to have people looking at you sideways like who's this guy that he is right right but they do a hard part though man like that's that's what they do that's why you that's why you have the agencies and the managers yeah so you calling yourself kev you should have had somebody fake as your manager i did that in the beginning uh when i when i um when i called it might have been comic strip yeah when i got booked at the comic strip first time featuring i made up a name do you know david arnold yeah the comedian yeah uh before i ever got on stage i had knee surgery and his first wife was the lady doing my paperwork for my knee surgery and i'm in her cubicle and this is at balboa hospital in san diego and i see david all these newspaper clintons at david arnold and i go who's that and she goes oh that's my husband and i go is he a comedian she goes yeah i go i'm a comedian yeah no i'm serious i'm a comedian she's oh my god i'm gonna give you dave his number i called david r on the phone really day right he goes hey what's up and then she called him first and then said this guy's gonna call you so i called him so we talked for like an hour on the phone and he was like uh yeah i mean here's what you gotta do man you gotta get a head shot you gotta get a bio all that stuff and then and you gotta start you gotta get a tape of yourself you gotta start sending out to comedy clubs and stuff done right i had never been on stage i had a fake bio i i put i'll never forget i put i opened up for jim carrey for a cancer benefit never met jim carrey never went to a cancer benefit i was name-dropping i went high right as well you're gonna make it up yeah i didn't go low i went high so and then uh all these fake uh rooms that i've played right you know what i mean that didn't exist no it's all fake you could not find them it's like smokey's grill in el cojito california there's no such thing as an el cajito nobody's gonna nobody's gonna look it up right okay whatever smokey's grill yeah i was at a creamy white gay festival that was a great one it was a pride festival so uh that's funny the uh i sent so i sent it out i went on stage like once or twice had a vhs tape and dubbed it sent it out got booked at comic strip el paso it worked when i say the first thing i sent out it wasn't really a show i taped myself at a karaoke bar oh wow and everybody sang songs and i went and told jokes for five minutes and my boy had his camera just to get the the tape yeah to send out the comedy clubs you really was getting it out the mud yeah well i mean i always knew i wanted to be a stand-up i just didn't know how do you do it right right you know remember ray combs you just tell us a family feud the dude who used to be kissing everybody no that was richard something uh ray combs came after him he was like in the 80s okay 90s he committed suicide too guys the second guy we talked about he was from my hometown it's wrought side cincinnati hamilton ohio but um he had a comedy club in cincinnati and i used to go sit outside the comedy club and listen to comics i was too young to get in and really listen to him and i'd literally be like i'm funnier than him i'm playing around and then somebody would come like this guy's pretty good that guy's got a future that's a good one that was a good joke that's another hard part of hollywood feeling like you're better than people or you can make stuff that's better than people and you're not getting the opportunities that is super frustrating that's like kanye man these these really that much better than me like it's tough like this guy that person but bro it takes a lot man it takes a i feel like i've been working forever for like these last three years for things to like fall in place you know what i mean like i mean whatever you're doing now is working i know i've been sarcastic this whole show but how did you how did you hear about me i'm really curious through the i don't know through the grapevine like your name pops up when in conversation and stuff and like so when i had tony yeah yeah yeah i was like he he brought you up like off camera like yeah i'd do something with kev on stage he was telling me his schedule and stuff like that and that's when i was like oh i think i want him on my podcast and then i've never heard anybody say you're you're uh hard to work with or anything like that dude in this industry the only thing more important than is he funny is she funny is are they cool because you could be funny if you hear like oh man gary's you he's funny but they don't even say anything comics literally just be like sometimes maybe i want the uh punishment or i feel like a psychiatrist sometimes i like the the hard hard to work with guys i kind of want them on the podcast to be like i could probably i could tell them what they're doing wrong and not be attacked like i had aries on yeah and i arrived she's going prior yeah i've known eric for over 20 years but i still i was like um aries hit me up like hey man i went to your podcast whenever i said yeah yeah i said but i don't want i don't i want you in studio i didn't want to zoom call aries very pandemic i said and i i told my i want you in studio yeah because i wanted the aries experience if he did start yelling or he did go off i wanted to be there like oh my god it's happening you want to be on comedy hype like hold on oh tracy morgan yeah so tracy went off on me one night in vancouver we were shooting little man really cl classic story man and i just i was so [ __ ] enjoying it because i was like oh my god i'm getting the full tracy morgan experience here's the thing i know it's never getting physical with me right i know i'm not fighting you if you feel the need to be like this relax let's bring it down so for me it's always like yelling and all this screaming i'm not really that dude but i yo we were i don't know we went out one night and we ended up back there was when you go to vancouver and film some nine percent time you're staying at this place called the sutton mm-hmm and half the sudden is a hotel the other half are uh apartments okay yep so we're in the apartment side because we were there for so long and for some reason tracy's room was literally right above mine if i was 503 he was 603. yeah yeah yeah so it's funny because i could hear him walking around that nice stuff it's very hard to put it right right right so he we're up in his room one night on a saturday and i remember a couple of the weigh-ins was there like craig i don't know any other ones but craig was there for sure yeah tracy at a left field just start going in on me it was completely unprovoked wow i don't know what brought it on and he goes [ __ ] you gary owen always talking about black women my mother's black oh i'm just sitting there going how is this opening sentence i don't know but i'm i'm paraphrasing like this is this is 14 years ago so i'm going like this oh my god he's really yelling at me and he's like this he goes i'm tracy morgan seven years on snl he goes i'll call laura michaels you'll never be on tv never damn hold on he's going in right in the middle of him going in on me his doorbell rings they deliver pizza and wings you know because there's there's like six seven people here right now right yeah also in the middle of him just going off he goes [ __ ] you gary you want a slice he offers me food in the middle of the rant and then when i said no i'm good all right goes back to going in on me i went what the [ __ ] was that so hold on the next day this was saturday i don't know if it was sunday or monday but the next day we were all on set right yeah uh craig sees me he goes yo i thought you were about to just [ __ ] steal on crazy like he was really going in you know i said oh no i was loving it i was just like oh my god i'm getting it so then tracy comes up and i'm thinking is this going to be tense is he still mad because i left he was still mad right right he goes gary owen he goes he comes up hugs me like kissing on the side of my head goes oh we [ __ ] party like rock stars last night yeah had to be the next day we parted like [ __ ] rock stars last night he goes i went in on you and you just took it you my youth kid because i love you gary owen you're my youth man like i'm like this what what it was like it was like a ride of passes like tracy want to see how far he could push me yeah yeah and i i i didn't take the bait i guess that's amazing man yo like he came up like i thought he wasn't even gonna remember it right wow gary owens we probably like rock stars i went in on you last night it's hilarious bro your kid my youth yeah i'm probably like that's great he didn't remember at all he remembered everything it was just like i guess it was a rite of passage for me that's awesome man and then like a year later he comes with cincy oh my god this is a great let me let me i had a show one time and we me and like four other comics sat in the green room and talked about tracy morgan for two hours and everybody had great tracy morgan stories right because tracy tracy i don't care he's from a barack or a drug dealer right tracy's tracy yeah that's why people love him yeah so he comes to cincinnati and he's at the funny bone and he called me and i went down there and hung out with him and i took him out after the show and we went to this little hole in the wall it was a nice spot but it was like a lounge right so we sitting there also you're sitting here i'm sitting here tracy starts moving away from me like this i go what's he doing and then he goes and then he slides slides back and puts his hand up like he was acting like a baseball player sliding back to first base i didn't pick up on it at first i was like what is he doing and then he gets up dust himself off and he took off his shirt he always took he used to always take off his shirt in the clubs he goes that's my move right because uh movies and tvs they they can go but i would take my shelf that's my move i take my shirt off and so he does this then he does it again all of a sudden the club's [ __ ] playing baseball oh my god tracy is acting like he's running the bases he's got some guy playing first another guy's short like a second and he's acting like he's up the bat and then he's running around like this what just happened i was like did this just happen in front of me i was like he's one of my favorite people in the business that's man he's as good as advertised oh he's off stage is better yeah yeah oh i'm like this he's literally one of my favorite people in the business and that's talking about things that got away when he got the last og mm-hmm i mean i got this i was on the road something was going on i was flying that day and did that and they gave me the audition to play tiffany's husband mm-hmm and i was like this is right up my alley yeah yeah yeah i love tiff i love tracy uh it's everybody i wanted to work with in this business and they couldn't pick a better vehicle from my brand right right right and they said addition i i could not get the audition in before for whatever reason i didn't have the camera with me something i just couldn't get it done i couldn't get to l.a in time so i didn't get the audition right so i had tiffany on a couple months ago and i was telling her about it i go man sometimes there's the ones you wish got away because why don't you call me oh what geez why don't you call me i like this i didn't i'm not gonna call you like can you put me on something right we're doing our friendship yeah yeah yeah yeah you should have called me i was like this now you gotta live with that right why would you say it to me tiff the regret alone is bad enough but then the fact that you could have done something about it well here's the bad part the last thing i want to do is call tiff and i ain't called her in a year i respect that you know what i mean especially i know you get the like random text message from people who haven't hit you up but like need something it's a weird dynamic though because i want people to know that i i'm used i'm you know i'm using nepotism but i don't expect you to give to me because of that right right right right especially with kevin um every time i've i've pitched two different shows to heartbeat productions neither of them got picked up um i don't take it personal really but i damn sure called kev to say i'm pitching a show just so he knows yeah yeah yeah yeah so i don't ever be like [ __ ] kevin didn't get this [ __ ] sorry that's fabletics man ain't nobody wearing that [ __ ] you went to the workout shoes that was terrible i wore that [ __ ] i couldn't even make my over 30 ymca league team in them i'm not that guy that you were mad ass no emblem having workout clothes anybody can wear that [ __ ] oh that's what i never like okay so like gabrielle yeah she's got um ellie's finest yep yeah i auditioned for one of the cops i just sent her the audition i went look around auditioned here it is i go i just want you to i went out for it and then gab takes you back uh you know i'm not in charge but i'll if if it comes to that i'll put a good word for it right and that's all you can you're still friends that's all i don't ever take another [ __ ] person i know what it is i know there's like you said a lot of layers to it but at the same time i'm like when tiff says something like that i'm like this god damn it my thing is like i never if you're my friend or you need a favor i have no problem doing it if i can but asking for that same favor is really hard yeah for me like i like now that we met you know what i'm saying i'll be like if there was something you could do i'd be like wow well you know i know gary like we did the podcast but i don't know well enough to hit him for that you know what i'm saying like and also you you want to value those relationships and the social capital you have you don't want to i never want people to feel like we we're just friends for what you can do for me right you know what i'm saying like genuine friends have that back and forth type of thing so i guess it's a really it's a tight rope to walk you know what i'm saying like you don't want that reputation but you also don't feel bad when people do it for you you know i'm saying it's something you can do what's funny when you see it though like when we shot when we was at the premiere for think like a man yeah some some producer director something was at the premiere and um taraji was talking to him about some project and she goes are you are you going to put me in it i mean toronto just came out i was like put me in it i was like holy [ __ ] she just pissed herself at work i was so happy to see it i go oh my god i was so happy i got to see that yeah i mean he's leading somebody at her levels right she's like trying to figure out what why are you doing it almost like toronto i'm like why are you telling me this you're pitching me a project that i love yeah yeah i mean like i said it's a weird dynamic but you don't want to be the guy that when they see your number like oh right the hell is he one right but that's why you always gotta check in on people randomly always with a genuine author like i that's what i do like if i'm thinking about you unrelated to anything not just if i see you in the trades not just if you know you got nominated for something but like if you cross my mind i'd be like hey man just you know hitting you up or girl make sure you're good and sometimes that never amounts to anything because you genuinely were like just making sure they're good well you know if you ever death to me be like still creamy bro still creamy over here i don't know how you doing but we creamy over here bro still creamy is hilarious i think what's funny is um somebody shut up like i've known chappelle for years so somebody when chappelle had the chappelle show um so before like season one and two was done yeah before he decided to walk away right the some people like he was at the uh what's the one in orange county is it orange county improv or uh what it's called i think it's the irvine improv irvine improv yeah so he's down there got the tour bus rappel they set it up i'm gonna go in i'm gonna go backstage and they set it up for me to say hi to him because i knew him but also they said just tell him about some of your bits because people were telling me a couple of my bits would have been perfect on the chappelle show yeah yeah yeah so i go i literally just went back i was talking nick cannon was back there too and then i finally got dave alone and i said dave man i'll be honest with you uh my reps got me back here because there's a couple jokes that i do i said that they think would be good on your show and i do too i said but i don't want to pitch him to you and then you gotta give him a fake laugh he was like nah what are they so i told them and you could tell when dave's genuine so dave starts slapping his leg right right right see that's more that's more my chapelle impressions awful by the way because that's more the brand of my show he goes you'd be amazed at the [ __ ] i see he goes and i'll be looking at i'll be looking at some of this [ __ ] like that's what you think my show's about right that's what you think is about right right right because i remember the bit i had and i think i did one of my specials was why people should have an n-word card instead of black people getting upset they should charge white people twenty dollars yeah we get to say it five times for twenty dollars right but we gotta get our have to have our card and if we have our card black people are not allowed to beat us up but if we don't got it you got free reigns to beat our ass i said but the problem is you have a white guy saying i said and it's not like white people we want to say it because we're mad yeah sometimes you're watching the team and your team's losing and you're like terrible black and black got my own car bro i bought it for this game you know you guys got michael vick so i knew i was probably gonna yell right right so i said but you'd have you have brothers have white guys i know the bathroom like it's a boy's purse shelly shelly it's in her purse she's got it sorry guys i just you know security let's see that is on par with the cop stuff that they made i found that most people don't pitch like that they pitch like when i used to work at all diff i used to get a lot of pitches and people pitch what they want to make not necessarily what the company makes or what you are doing they're just like this is be funny because i'll be funny in it and that's not how it works it's like hold up kev i got this show it's called [ __ ] it all right uh what's it about we don't know just just start rolling and i promise i'll deliver every every week is different give it up carry on and [ __ ] it coming this saturday for real to b-e-t that's how it be man and i'm like bro you gotta think of what the network wants why was this a good fit do they do here's some comps that you work or here's a space you can feel people don't want to do that man they're just like me though i'm great it's almost uh the old notion with athletes are you in love with the fame of the game right right most people think there's there's a comic out there and i when he came up to me and said this to me i was looking i'm like yo you're you're not gonna make it like you want to right one your focus is all wrong he literally comes through he goes hey gary man when you first got on tv and movies like how many holes you get like hoes coming at you i go huh he goes like you you hoes is crazy right like this oh you're never gonna i was thinking i guess you're never gonna make it and he hasn't i i was right about it he's still like grinding i'm like this i hope you changed around that focus froze man i mean there's only fans for that right i guess it wasn't only fans then but literally i thought he's about to have a deep what's up hey man what's it like me on the road selling tickets and how things change ain't when hoes all just coming right after every show it got real dark like the way he was looking at me like this what yeah i can't wait have you ever had like a you ever had a cube on your ass what what what are you talking about right now ah i'm a pool player you don't look like an eight ball type [ __ ] you look like a cue ball on your ass what this just went really dark dude oh my god i don't know that's a that's hilarious man what do you got coming up isn't that the worst question to ask uh which guy coming up man cause what you're doing now is it enough i've literally had radio interviews i'll name off like three things i'm like what else i'm like i'm sorry three is a lot man i guess that's not enough for you to have one thing is is is a lot the thing i'm most focused on is the keep your distance comedy show so it's a um it's a it's a socially distant comedy show with the live audience in la and we stream it live to everywhere and then you can you can you can buy a replay link or with your ticket replay link for 24 hours or if you pay a little more you can get it for 48 hours so how do you keep people from like pirating and bootlegging you don't oh like it's just part of the game like right no matter how big of a company you are or how good your technology is someone's going to bootleg you i mean i don't want to you know what i mean like we're working on stuff that makes it harder yeah but right now luckily a lot of my audience wants to support and they want to help the comedians they want to support the show yeah but people have parties they you know have basically a fight party they cook make wings drinks have people over you know what i'm saying and i'm gonna buy one ticket how many houses no seriously how many hoes about these watch parties man a lot of hoes in this fight that's hilarious well no man that's the that's the thing you have a lot of hoes of these watch parties man like seriously i would have been so uncomfortable talking to that dude i'm not going to throw random people on the bus like that oh good i'm excited i got a lot of names so you gotta tell me who's taking the ten percent you gotta name those guys off you gotta know well those aren't really honestly i don't know if you'll know them they're not huge headliners and this is years ago i heard this but it wasn't like d-ray or blackson or somebody it's lower level headless okay it makes more sense yeah i mean but yeah that's the main thing i'm working on just giving distance comedy shows keep your distance comedy where do you record that at we have a my boys studio in um i guess it's kind of like glendale burbank area somewhere some industrial uh place over there but they got their own spot it's it's secluded so you're as a stand-up you're going up mm-hmm and there's no audience live there's no no there's audience live so there's people in there there's people in the audience okay there's like 15 20 people basically the comics all bring their wife or husband you know or boyfriend or girlfriend um my sister-in-law brother-in-law come you have the camera crew and then like six eight other people so you get a small enough audience to like know if your joke's working or not the belly room or the commerce store exactly or the you who room with flappers like super tiny uh then some comics come and pull up you know just to see what's popping you know five or six comments kind of stand in the back so you get maybe 20 people at the most you know but then we stream it live like for me i got offered a lot of zoom comedy shows i imagine you did too and the one thing you can't replicate is the instant response and for me it's like it's hard to gauge if my joke's working or not if nobody's laughing real time only worse than you laughing and i'm stepping over it is me thinking the joke's working and it's not and it's like oh it's zoom and they're like no no we heard it it's just not funny you know like i heard you clear like their connection is you know it's perfect actually you're really really clear and why do you guys got this on music yeah no no we hear you we don't you're bombing you're bombing right yeah you don't have something literally virtually bombing mommy has got to be worse than my mom oh my god just know you guys is it frozen no no no i'm i'm just not laughing at you i'm just not laughing so i couldn't do that like i couldn't do like i can do a podcast any of that stuff live because i'm not doing my material but i'm trying to make you laugh and you're not laughing i need to adjust i need a tag i need to pivot do another joke i need to go to a club you know something to work so you need to cuss i need a car i need a cuss i need to check kev is a clean comic and he doesn't like that title because it clean sometimes correlates to corny corporate but you talk about sex i talk about all that stuff i do some bible some church jokes but not in the way you would think like i always every time you say something like let me tell you something funny about that the i love dc young fighter death love that kid i'm great he's killing it blah blah spirits in the right place all that we did about ten shows at these theaters together and i love going up after him because he this is what he could he quote he's got a bit something about licking ass or something like that and then he closes with this testimony of god is real type [ __ ] one after another i say flawless it's flawless it's so good right the female's ass are his ass i don't know which ass it is and then he goes into this it's a great it's a great clothes it's a great testimony of how yeah went from nothing and now he's got all this [ __ ] going on and every year has been a progression he's like 2014. i was living in my mama's basement and didn't have none of 2015 i decided to do youtube videos 2016 i got my first movie 2017 i got four movies this movie i got eight movies and it's really like you were expecting somebody on the organ right right right right but he's getting the crowd and he kills it right kills it gets off like good night like god is real hey good night and i lit up i would go up and i go that was crazy he just went from ass licking to jesus is real i go that guy is is amazing the segway that's why you know jesus is real it's so good i go why didn't i else pick up on this right you're right you know what i mean you know it's him and this isn't a naga i love that guy yeah but he's so funny picking up on [ __ ] i'm like this did anybody else pick up on him yeah but he's worked super hard to like be good on stage you know what i mean like oh he's i love like backstage he literally is a sponge right he respects the crap that's all i've ever heard about dc what literally what you just said everybody said he's a sponge he respects the craft he does the work like because it's loud here as loud as he is on 85 sal show and as loud as he is yelling at somebody right uh on instagram or something like that you ex you know like i said offstage you might expect that no offstage he'll be in the room with four comics and you could tell he's just soaking it in right all that knowledge that's why his his his projection is those guys are amazing 85 85 south they're hosting the bt awards no the hip-hop awards or hip-hop awards they're not on that level yet i'm just kidding i'll just hold on you just become a hater nah not awards beyonce is not there right but that's so amazing bro like it's it goes hollow goes back those three guys chico being carlos miller and dc young phi created right their own brand their own narrative yep through youtube and social media yeah they didn't they didn't get the hip-hop awards because somebody bt hired them for something or somebody hbo had they got it because of youtube because of instagram because their own leverage that's what i'm saying they work its work i didn't even know the hip hop awards were coming out until i saw they were hosting them yeah like i didn't even know they were like it wasn't on my radar until i mean yeah it sucks to be two headboards they suck hold on i like going in and out of compliments to hate you know why you didn't hear about it because they suck okay have you heard hip-hop lately it's [ __ ] awful i'm just kidding but bro i really wanted my podcast to be as big as their their live show is like they're doing arena like five six seven thousand or theaters at a podcast yeah did you ever hear about you probably didn't but it was so minor but i talked about carlos miller one time on my podcast because i said as comedians classic of being in your own brain thinking something's wrong yeah demarcus cousins had boogie comedy jams oh yeah yeah yeah we filmed that uh it'll be two years in april we filmed it right so carlos just got off the plane and went straight to walk through and then i'm in the van with him going back to the hotel and i'm trying to engage but he's not really engaging i'm taking it as [ __ ] don't like me right right right what i'm not taking into account is dude got off the plane went straight to walk through he was probably coming down yeah you know what i mean i talked about it on uh my podcast like a year and a half ago after it happened and i go and honestly i have nothing bad to say about carlos miller never once been out there saying [ __ ] about me i don't know i go it's i knew it was in my own brain right right right but for that day i was like what's wrong with this dude yeah yeah you know what i mean okay yeah i'm not rooting for him no more right and then carlos like he sent me a message going dude i [ __ ] with you the long way right i don't i don't know how that how to take that at first but he reached out yeah what are you talking about and then i ended up working with him in dc like two weeks later he was in milwaukee and then it was funny because we was laughing about it on the side of the stage dude i i realize how you can get in your own home oh man and read things wrong absolutely you know what i mean i was like i was so in my brain like what's wrong with why didn't carl smell like me yeah i've never done anything to him i enjoy his hats and his goatee what are you talking about i think he looks good on him i think that's crazy about 85 style kind of related but not when i was at all deaf we were like i really wanted to give them more and i could not convince my bosses of like like they they didn't see it lost that now everybody's fired exactly everybody's wonder why and then when we got new people they're like get 85 stop i was like no man too late they're they we need them now like at this point i saw the vision way early was a fan was talking to their producer trying to do a thing but i couldn't like i could it's it's hard people don't see things until it's too late especially in hollywood a lot of times you just like like the pandemic i would have never thought of doing a socially distance comedy show but you couldn't perform in l.a like you couldn't you know you couldn't and my wife was like look can you not just go out like not even for the oh like she was like you've been on the road for like years can you just be like home for a minute like you cannot risk everything so i was like that's kind of where that came from it wasn't like i want to do that it's just like i need to perform stand up like to go three like with a pandemic first started dude like i don't i'm gonna go crazy i would rather bomb than to not perform let me tell you something when you hit that stage all is right in the world gary i don't care what you're going through in your life once you hit the stage you're like i don't care if you're going through a divorce right somebody just cheated on you uh bills are backed up you hit that stage and you took that mic take that mic off and pull the stand back i told them when my first joke back was like that's the killing when you're like trying to take the panties off and and you know she like lifts up to help you that's how good that feels like you know man we're gonna be all right like that's how it felt and i didn't drop her the panty dropper man like and that's why i don't care how big i get or what happens i want to the way seinfeld and chris rock and and uh jay leno they always come back they actually never even leave stand up like that they're all hacks i want to be so happy like those three guys i don't think i'll ever stop like them like jay leno had the he was the highest paid person or second highest paid person and he was still going out every week or something right yeah man still going out it's in you it's it's it's the it's my drug of choice yes i never did any kind of drugs yeah but once i hit got that first laugh i was like uh you're gonna do that absolutely you could do ten movies in a row that all got a hundred million and somebody's like gary we got a theater show for you you're like done i know when when i shoot movies i you know i'm to the point now i was like okay i don't want to do stand-up while i'm shooting but then you get on set for three weeks you're like what is there anything this saturday cuz i'm off you're pulling up and doing a guest spot yeah just because you need to do it that's a fact you have to like man let me get just give me 10 bro like i i performed in weeks so yeah man it's i don't think that'll ever change for me ever in my life yeah like my whole goal is to do everything i want and then to get like a vegas residency do you like don rickles don rickles george wallace just come down reno no the property value's better say you want to torture yourself yeah i'm gonna go to reno where i live in northern california right now uh reno's a spot in my life really everybody goes tahoe and reno's where they go to gamble i want to go to tahoe they want to go to vegas they go tahoe yeah you know what i mean it was funny like my neighbor actually was funny i went the first time i went to um his wife's like a whale she's a high roller yeah yeah yeah so they said hey gary come to reno for a couple days kenya my wife was gone out of town and i wasn't doing anything and this was during the pandemic but they were starting to open [ __ ] back in june yeah yeah yeah i said is it open they go they're opening up this weekend first time i said i'll go so they got me a room at harrah's yeah it was a huge suite right i go there i'm in this huge suite cause i got a house in tahoe yeah so then it was funny i go damn man i was here for three days and never saw the lake and her husband goes there's a lake because i gamble so much in tahoe he goes there's a lake here it's in the name i thought that was just synonymous wow you guys gave him a lot that's hilarious okay kev on stage somebody comes to you and asks us all my guests they said all right man here's the movie pick anybody you want to be in the movie with is one person you could work with in this business actor or director who would it be will smith will smith i met will smith in january it was the highlight where did you meet him at his office we were pitching a digital series uh i was with all deaf did you get tongue-tied when you went off no one's crazy he we were walking out of the of the pitch meeting and he came out of the kitchen and he like bumped me a little bit like not aggressively but he was like hey oh and i was like he had fig newtons in his hand he was eating two fig nudes at once which was like they probably weren't real fake newtons they were probably made with some organic grain that lowers your body right level but i bumped into him he was super cool and i for like i'd be like trying to be cool like i ain't gonna get no picture room you know what i'm saying but it was will smith man will's been like yeah famous my whole life you know what i'm saying he had 10 movies in a row 100 million dollars of box office and i post that on my instagram once every two months just to remind anybody if you forgot what let me see it your screensaver name your kids i don't even delete it out of my out of my camera roll let me see this picture of you and will smith hold on i'm actually like i've never met him let me see this make sure of you and will smith i met him on the set of wild wild west did you know how far back i go with that [ __ ] i'm just kidding i've been in into will like four or five times i pitched when he had overbrook is he still is it still over brook entertainment uh i think he has that too for media but this is it was westbrook entertainment that's me and williams not a liar nope might as well throw it up today where's the fig newton he put it down so let me go like next time you post it and then post me and you i'd be like this yo i met two of my idols this is crazy my favorite white and favorite black guy but ali i said my my not my yeah my goal what i want to come out of the podcast is all my guests come on and then they're like yo you say who you want to work with and that [ __ ] happens on gary's podcast it's crazy now granted kev's a shot caller kevin hart and um i said kev who you want to work with he said well will smith was the actor and then todd smith or todd phillips i'm sorry todd phillips was the director the joker guy yeah so will and kevin you know doing plane trains and automobiles together yeah yeah i don't want to take credit but i will and then uh i had joseph sequoia on tommy from powell yeah yeah i said who do you want to work with and he named all people he hasn't worked but he also said i'd really love to work with dionne taylor again and then him he just did a movie with terence j and king batch and dion taylor directed it and uh joseph's of course in it it's gonna be terrible it's fine i'm just kidding hold on i just like do some negativity to mighty get some click bait [ __ ] going on gary goes in on this terrible horror movie with dion taylor hey kevin and terence j it's gonna be awful it's not gonna be scary at all i mean tears jay's not [ __ ] scary kill the [ __ ] ghost bro you kill whoever that killer is right that's right that's why i didn't like uh the intruder of michael ealy and megan good mm-hmm i said joseph man you created such an iconic character you were supposed to [ __ ] shoot dennis quite immediately in that driveway like frozen or something went out like a [ __ ] mouse it was just weird you don't do somebody like tommy then do the intruder and you're all nice right lovey-dovey and it's [ __ ] dennis quaid what the [ __ ] man you're supposed to get killed by ving reigns with the axe in the back of your head bing range should have killed just a coin in that movie and been not in the movie just came in and big reads it went and just walked out like that had nothing to do with the movie i would accept that much more than the way he died there's no way dennis quaid kills joseph not like that not like that if you're gonna do that i should have played that part right why why you hired joseph sakura when you could have had me we look damn near the same and people been like that's how gary gets killed right that's not how joe and tommy gets killed no not from what he's done no the last five six years he's earned more than that now they got the spin-off they have like three well tommy starts in january i'm i want to be his brother so bad i don't even want to be on the show like like on it all the time i just wanted like one or two episodes yeah like because his dad was a rolling stone his dad was out there his dad died he killed him would you like to do dramatic acting i've done a couple small dramatic parts yeah i i mean i would a lot of comics really kill at that well we we come from pain man they we come from dark [ __ ] there's a bolo on my brother right now be on the lookout for he's doing the lowest level crime i talked about last week with tony rock he is out there stealing cadillac because you get converters at the junkyard for it catalytic converters it's white crime man i was riding in an uber one time and the dude driving me had his girlfriend had came and spent the night they had broken up and he woke up and she had stolen his truck and she brought it back and no catalytic converters he's on the phone with the detective taking me home like no man she stole the catalytic converter out of my truck and i was like you know there's money in that gotta take that car a different time he was like no man i got it i mean she stole my catalog you were in my car for 10 minutes this is my life okay why do you think i'm overdrive you think i want to do this bro this isn't the game plan he had it on speaker too man like coming out of the car i was like i feel like i shouldn't be a part of this like information right it was just weird that was like your parents arguing like oh wow that's crazy hey quick question can it get any hotter in this studio holy cow this this episode is brought to you by back sweat there's so much going on in the crack of my ass right now i'm sitting listen to your story going i just felt an entire drip start from the top of my vertebrae and somehow slipped down the crack of my ass i went like this ah it just got hot i'm officially moist it is hot in here is it always this hot the air be honest it's 100 degrees outside today though holy cow guys climate change again we're both wearing black i know i always wear black it's supposed to be slimming but i'll just be looking like i look i just like black me too man it's helped my career i can work we got coffee mugs that we got merch for the podcast my coffee mug says i like my coffee like i like my women you want cream and sugar now how dare you just cream eat my coffee with cream and sugar do i look like jason kidd to you hell no i don't want cream and sugar i want the kimbe mutombo hello fairies i want a con coffee right michael blackson coffee i wanna sew black you think it might be tar like are you drinking [ __ ] they put on the road oh my god coffee bro dick coffee so whoo all right man well i appreciate you fighting man now this is our first time really meeting and talking it is i appreciate you for having me well you have completely blew my expectations i thought you were way cooler i don't get it i don't get what the appeal is i'm like this i can see why they didn't pay you double 500 i can see why will smith didn't buy your pitch hold on you tell me all these stories like this yeah i get it now i get it yeah if i wasn't casting no i'm just kidding i'm [ __ ] with you it's all good i really um thanks for coming on course thank you for having me i hope you uh get to work with will smith uh hopefully he doesn't have to be a movie by the way anything literally anything doing his podcast him doing my podcast i'll be happy with that no i mean i will i do you get to work with will smith one time what do you want if you say podcast movie i'm just saying i would be i would take [ __ ] tracy morgan you i'll [ __ ] i would definitely be on tv you could do a movie you could be huge in this damn bull wolf is huge overseas bro i didn't move michael jack why i didn't realize how huge michael john white is overseas is the is it the um marshall stuff that should translate that's why football movies don't necessarily translate overseas but fighting fighting translating everywhere fighting in fast and furious you don't need much dialogue to get that i understand throwing a missile across ice you don't hear the english for that like oh yeah act like you've done this before the rock holding a helicopter with his bare hands or how about how long was that late oh my god that plane took off on the on the tarmac yeah it was 300 miles long it's a 30-minute scene yeah there's no airport in the world but you don't need to understand english to get that this is cool yeah yeah right yeah all right man i appreciate coming on and we'll have you back in whenever you want to come back cool open doors goodbye gary owen can i be the last one to talk on my podcast kev jesus christ of course kev on stage everybody you

Channel: Gary Owen

Views: 273,970

Rating: 4.9303584 out of 5

Keywords: gary owen, comedy, comedian, stand-up comedy

Id: rIt2rHtz-L4

Length: 113min 12sec (6792 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 22 2020