Journey Home - 2018-07-09 - Stephen Gleason

[Music] well good evening and welcome to the journey home my Marcus Grodi your host for this program and once again you and I are sitting down and we're relaxing and we're going to hear a story of how the Holy Spirit as touch to man's heart and drawn him closer to Jesus Christ and then unexpectedly to the church and Steve Gleason is our guest for tonight former non-denominational pastor I'm anxious to hear his story we talked just a little bit beforehand it was funny you know we shared a little bit and there's that place in our life whether we do become Catholic or we start our own church I mean the reality of where God's calling us to serve but Steve it's it's great thank you Marcus have you join us on the program great glad to be here and talk about the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit and the Saints and the angels and the church yeah bring everything together and tell a story that hopefully helps many others well let me back out of the way and invite you to take us on the journey of that good started out a little seven pounder born in Los Angeles at in Los Angeles at the Good Samaritan Hospital downtown LA and 56 days later became Catholic 56 days later I was baptized alright and so I went still mad at mom and dad they made me wait 56 days to be born again and we'll talk about being born again a little later huh from that why the 56 day delay I don't know why they waited so long it was November 8th I was born 51 and then I saw in my bap to which I love my baptismal certificate bro yeah it said January 4th 1952 so I had that 56 day window where I was just sort of floating out there so good mom and dad you know paid for us to go to Catholic school my brother and sister and I started us started us right and you know putting three kids and so many have you know in to Catholic school tuition raising a family making that a priority so went to st. Bernadette's great Saint huh Lourdes people still getting healed going to visit that place of apparitions and so we stayed in Los Angeles for about till I was about nine or ten years old and we moved to Orange County my dad was transferred would you have seen yourself with just a typical Catholic young child I mean was was the faith at all alive in your heart I I was I definitely it was alive in my heart and I in fact when we got to Orange County and we went to st. Joseph's there they said there's anybody want to be an altar boy and it just was an immediate yes I didn't even hardly think I mean I can remember the invitation to do that and so went through the training and this is of course right sort of during vatican ii so we had to learn confiteor deo omni put you know I mean we had to learn in Latin and and so for three years I was an altar boy and loved it so yeah the faith the faith was alive to me I loved going to church okay yeah so yet you experiences as a young man the the Latin Mass right that's what we had yeah I remember the ten fifteen mass was a high mass so it was it was you know really dramatic but yes 6:00 a.m. showing up at 6:00 a and my mom would drive me to 6:00 a.m. asked to serve and you know just a short Mass pick me up you know come back to school later so yeah those are you know I think back on all this you know all the Eucharist that was placed inside of me and and and going to confession as a little guy and you know we could go to I think we went to Mass once a week maybe you know if from the school he did Mar just marches down the way to to the parish to the to have mass and it was you know I just I can recall those and especially having come back and what we call reverted back to the Catholic Church I have those memories of being there and the and the sincerity you know of it and how ominous it was and how I regarded the priest I can remember father Amy you know preparing you know the sacristy and stuff to get ready and it was all it was really meaningful to me you know yeah and with hindsight you can look back on the seeds that were planted both memory and nostalgic wise but also the graces that we'd received in baptism and the Eucharist and confession yeah I mean you gotta know oh you confirmed he had yeah we did it was in seventh grade now that that came in seventh grade then yeah so you know first communion was in third grade and then seventh grade was confirmation and and we had something I remember called the pledge which was that I will not drink alcohol until I'm 21 years old the pledge and I remember that and you know what confirmation you know I renounce Satan and I remember those prayers and I had forgotten much of that through the time of slipping away from Catholicism which we'll talk about and pastoral work and all that but it's it's really come back to me and I've I've sought for those memories you know because you go back to those landmarks I was reading in the Book of Leviticus once and it says remove not thy landmarks you know those are points of time and points of reference that you reflect back on and recall and and they're meaningful they're important yeah that little three-part phrase that we say in Mass maiya Copa Maricopa Maxima culpa it reminds me of Lord why didn't I hear back then yeah it was all there was all there you know what why didn't I hear what was wrong you know what was standing in the way of me really getting it getting it yeah so we you know I continued on and had a you know great time grew up as a swimmer you know life was pleasant with my with my family a good devoted mother and father good Irish family you know my Gleason my mom was a Dolan god I loved that her mom was a McCarthy you know so mostly all Irish a little touch of French from my dad you know to sort of the stern is to clean up the wild Irish you know part of you but good family carried on a little swimmer guy my brother was a swimmer we were fortunate to be raised around the ocean you know being at the beach a lot and enjoying all that that afford and kind of you know moving up through the years as it goes wasn't an altar boy anymore mmm mass was maybe every other week mass now becomes maybe once a month 14 15 16 years old and I remember I was writing my friend and I would ride our bikes so we're about 15 at the time down this is a Newport Beach down the boardwalk and he would go off to a Presbyterian Church at a 15th Street in Newport and I would go to Our Lady of Mount Carmel at 15th Street and we were dropped riding our bikes down that street and my friend says to me I don't believe in God anymore we were about halfway he lived at 6th Street we're about halfway there and I remember that shocking me just completely shocking me but it was a moment when I said to myself well I I do mm-hmm you know I do and so you have that that faith and you have that background you know but then the world the fun stuff kind of starts creeping in and this part is so many have had this happen in the teen years and you know all of a sudden the discipline that I was raised with say as a swimmer and as a as a young person a pretty strict family began to you know disciplines distasteful I don't like discipline anymore I got introduced to surfing with my brother who was 5 years older than me so you know 10 years old got introduced to the world of surfing and and it was pretty pretty you know rebellious in that era there's professional surfing now and so it's kind of cleaned up a lot but the roots of it is a pretty bunch of rebellious guys I just want to do what they want to do and so all of a sudden you know training you know as a swimmer gets pushed aside hanging out surfing all the time hanging out at the beach all of a sudden I'm finding myself you know not really where I should be had a chance to be trained in the ocean as a lifeguard had a lifeguard a job over on the bay all of a sudden now it's like 68 69 1970 the lifeguard they say hey you got a you got to clean up to guard this year I had been guarding three years got to clean up the guard and got a look got a look right you know and I took a job at a at a fish place because I didn't want to clean up that started really drifting away Tuesday yeah started drifting way too far and these people that worked at the at the fish place were going to Calvary Chapel Chuck Smith was oh you know yeah it was the pastor and this is when that place had just started to explode I mean he had such a right heart about he said hey that you know there's a culture out here he he had just had a real conservative little Church I think maybe even Foursquare or something I forget what it was early days but we got to reach these these beach kids and he just opened the place up and they flooded in these two people invited me to go there but I wouldn't go I was not at all ready and were you going to church at all know by now know by now I'm and I think about church but like maybe I'll go next Sunday but I'm not going now and so that that door just opens wide fell to foolishness right yeah that's just that door just it just wants to flood in but you know the sacraments were there the graces were there you know God's goodness and in the the right upbringing is there so there's this there's this battle there's this resistance or there's the observation of what's available to me and yet there's this there's a this bumper or these boundaries that are still within me so it's a battle right it's it's a fight and these two people get with me that we're inviting me to go to Calvary Chapel and I wouldn't go they said hey you know come on over to the house so one of them writes a song and uses the father in heaven as first person with my name in it this person wrote a song for me and we're sitting there and this person on a guitar singing a song to Steve from the father and I I don't know I it's a swirl of emotion for me because you know I feel the Lord's calling at me but I left and hey that was great you guys thanks a lot so I move on to go to San Diego to San Diego State to finish college and we would go down to Mexico we're talking here the late 60s yeah by now it's by now at 72 okay oh boy I'm you know we're about the same age so yeah I remember that time in fact remember also during that time a movie came out called the endless summer oh yeah yeah endless summer which is all about his surfing life that suggests what you're talking about and I remember I know I've said this on the program years ago but the the main dude was in that thing 50 years later the anniversary talked about it and he said my my motto was to work to live and to live to surf yeah and I was thinking he had misheard it back in Sunday school it was they lived to serve not serve yeah well you had misheard right man there you were oh yeah and in fact that brings me to let me that brings it to a story Marcus so we'd go to Mexico a lot to surf and we'd go you know both in Baja and then because living in San Diego and then all the way down south of port of IR de to a really area where waves are great they got big and it was warm of course and so I'm down there and we'd normally go for a couple of weeks and I went with two other guys this one trip and they fairly responsible guys said well it's two weeks are up we got to head back you know it's time to get back up to to San Diego and I said hey not me I'm sticking around and you know I got a sleeping bag a backpack and a surfboard you know and I'm there like why you stay and I said I just I'm not coming home you know I just I'm sticking down here we get to Christmas Eve December 24th and I'm off in this surfing place called pedicle Cobain if any surf guys are listening as just a prime great spot down there I realize my mother and my father know where I am and it's Christmas Eve what a loser what am i what am i doing you know so I I get myself to Puerto Vallarta I go to the airport and I have no money and I'm sitting at the airport and a lady walks up to me they were probably 60 65 years old she goes what are you doing here and I said well I'm thinking about you know heading back up to to Orange County to see my family he says well are you and I said well yeah I can't quite pull it off you know and she says you don't have any money they give me $75 the husband at 20 at 20 at 20 at ten and a five $75 an airfare from porta viar-toe a Awana is $67 I don't even know to say it she's like you go you get home and see your mother that's what you go home and see your mother yeah and not your father your mother our lady thank you so I go to sit at the counter and the lady scissors the the flights full there's no word you can't get on I just sat there for a second and she was she goes wait a minute a flight just one seat just opened up once he just opened up I said I'll take it so I have seven dollars left over I fly into Tijuana I'm standing in Tijuana I got the name and address of that family and want you to know paid them back I'm standing in Tijuana surfboard backpack sleeping bag and this fellow walks up to me and he says it's expensive taking taxis you know because I need to get across the border and up to Mission Beach I lived in Mission Beach in San Diego he says do you need a ride like all these people coming to help me you know so I said sure he goes I'll take you up to the border and you know from there you go so we get in the car and this reflects on the story that of what you said earlier about the guys in Ellis summer we're in the car Marcus he says to me Steve what's important and this is in Spanish and in English kind I speak Spanish this is what's what's important to you in your life what's the most important thing to you and Marcus I had drifted to this point then my statement was to do what I want to do when I want to do and surf all the time that I want to serve that's all that's what my and I and I hear myself and I'm thinking to get in my mom and dad a brother and sister good family and I have my most important thing is to do what I want to do and serve where it whenever and wherever I want to surf that's my life Wow how far have you come since that day when I was about 15 and I told my friend well I believe in God still he says I see that you surf where did you serve he tells me I told him where we rode waves he goes have you ever heard of a guy named Carlos Hernandez and I had seen a picture of carlos Hernandez in a surfing magazine earlier and I said as a matter of fact I know who carlos Hernandez is he represented Mexico in the 66 world surfing contest in Peru he turns and he goes i'm carlos hernandez and i want to tell you that jesus christ wants you and you know he was in he was Catholic and I'm just sitting there and I just he says hey let me let me buy you lunch we run we'll stop by my house my wife they fix his sandwich he not only takes me to the border he takes me to my house in Mission Beach so if you can picture I'm south of Puerto Vallarta in a nowhere land where waves are good and now all of a sudden because of time change it's 12:00 noon I've made it from that to there to there it's 12:00 noon I'm at my car in Mission Beach and it my folks live two hours north in Orange County at two o'clock in the afternoon on Christmas Eve I walk in the house and my family's there and you know so they were certainly glad it you know it was a great moment but the Holy Spirit is somebody called him like the Hound of heaven searching us out always and then from that point are you able you didn't see it that way yet I you know we were starting to yeah when I got when I would get quiet you know like lay down at night I knew there was some rumblings but I but I began to investigate you know other spiritual kinds of entities and opened my heart to open my life open my intelligence open my will to things which brought more darkness really so that that battle that battle got really really strong as time went on that was the time that you're talking about to and it was really ripe against the Steve Gleason all right so wow I mean so the Lord is really I just said an engine they're using the Holy Spirit to awaken folk and put them in your place and but you're not ready to go to college right well I'm a great holy experience yeah I mean I'm kind of hanging in college somehow down at San Diego State and I'm I'm walking down my street I lived on the oceanfront and in Mission Beach and walking down the street and there's these three people standing at their house and I say hey what are you guys doing something some foolish comment to them and one of them said hey we're into Bible study's prayer meetings and Jesus what are you into and I said not that and they said well wait a minute so they start talking to me you'll love this you'll love this Marcus they start talking to you about the rapture the what I mean I'm still the Catholic guy right and this is a word I'd never heard I mean so they for about 30 minutes captured my attention to listen to them for the next seven days they secretly were having prayer meetings for me and on the seventh day one of them said do you want to ask Jesus in your heart to be your Savior and so by by now though this is this is one year after meeting carlos hernandez the surfer by now really the darkness and the light were really battling in my heart my mind my soul i mean it was it was difficult i knew i was really on the wrong path i remember looking in the mirror two weeks before I met these people that I just mentioned and I looked in the mirror and I said to myself you're you have disgusting behavior I looked at myself and said that in the mirror you have disgusting behavior and and I so I knew something was coming my way so I was formed in faith well but I had drifted and so when somebody said do you want to receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and there was the Bible and there was you know Scott LaHaye and there was n times and there was the millennium and there was the Antichrist and all these new things I was I was learning and it interested me and I was you know getting in the in the scriptures and so I said yeah I want I want Jesus well those three people were Catholics that had kind of slipped away from the church but I said okay I want to go to church and so I prayed I mean I pray that night like 300 million people have you know Lord Jesus come in my heart I'm a Savior you know I repent of my sins make me a new person get up brand new guy right done with all the foolishness down with all the foolishness which I will explain I think how that happens why that happens in a little bit so I feel like a new guy I say hey I want to go to church I want to go to Mass and they were Catholics so we went and there is a strong charismatic movement in San Diego at Sacred Heart Church and so on Friday nights there'd be 300 people in a big circle you know and you know how it goes singing we are one in the spirit we are one in the Lord and and and this was so perfect for me because it was casual it was Catholic it was beautiful there was you know sort of kind of prophetic words or words of inspiration being spoken out and people would be praying in a language that I didn't know much about but as I began to do that also and just began to grow but then I got invited to this little Bible study which was a Calvary Chapel Bible study in Sandy and the person running that was from the Costa Mesa hub by now Calvary chapel's are starting to spring up everywhere a lot of times beach communities skiing communities where there's you know extreme sports and all all that kind of thing and and what do these you know as potluck dinner thirty forty people inside of the house in Ocean Beach thirty forty people outside the house listening to this guy teach the Bible talking about end times interested me and that became Calvary Chapel in San Diego and it was ten times I kind of grew through all that wasn't quite sure went talked to the priest that was at Sacred Heart said father what tell me about the rapture what what's the church the rapture the millennium the Antichrist the Beast the millennium the thousand years loosed craziness on the earth somebody's flying out of an airplane and he says I don't even know what you're talking about I said father you know cuz that's just not it's not even the rapture just isn't truth right right it has it is well I don't want to say I do not really want to say it's a it's a marketing thing because I won't say that but it's a way to capture a lot of people and bring a lot of interest to the Bible which is great but there's not a seat I mean he's coming back but he's not coming back two different ways to different times and he's not gonna snatch a pilot out of an airplane and then have the airplane crash in it you know I mean this is these are the things that are that are taught but I progressed from that and I was gonna say that maybe later in the program we'll put some links to EWTN religious catalogue and well it's coming on network where you can get wonderful books that examine this whole wraps your idea and point out the truth that's in it the second coming of Christ but the misuse of Scripture to claim something else whether I don't think like you that was intended as a marketing scheme yeah but it worked that way oh yeah in millions of you in hundreds of thousands of people's lives yeah and guys make a whole ministry out of just just a few little scriptures a little second Thessalonians a little first Thessalonians a little book a revelation little here a little there and have created a whole ministry whole life a whole genre of this kind of theology but I'm I'm I'm sincerely you know serving Christ but now I'm not going to Catholic Mass anymore and I'm I'm in this very casual you know church is not you know in an organization is just an organism you know there's no juridical society where there's you know one central Pope and all this and I'm I've just it worked for me you know in the in the Calvary Chapel a bunch of surf guys a bunch of guys coming out of the crazy lifestyle and it you know my social life really increased and so you know in our in the Catholic Church we always have to work on sort of the social life a little bit you know because we come to mass it's reverent we're there for a whole different concept than coming for you know sort of high praise and high singing and worship and the rock band and everything you know and hey brother how you doing we walk in you know what the prayerful mindset and it's so it's just a different attitude in that that that's what was contagious about you know the evangelical the charismatic movement is that anticipation gonna go see my buddies my friends you know we're gonna have a great time at church and that's what it's about we're celebrating being free you know we're not bound in sin and darkness anymore this kind of a situation so I in in role there's a Bible College in San Diego Berean Bible College I enroll in its full-time 7:30 in the morning to 12 noon every day you know and everybody that's in the school has the anticipation of you know leaving college I had graduated from San Diego State sociology and psychology degree stand out for a year and a half went to the Bible College and so you sort of are anticipating you know what am I going to do after after graduating and and because the the sense is you know you're just going to go pioneer a church right you're just gonna go start from scratch my family asked me well are you in a I mean you're not Catholic anymore are you in one of these denominations a Lutheran thing or Presbyterian or something oh no we're just nondenominational which is denominational is its within its own with its within its own right so hit up to head up to Fresno and found a high school that had a little room rent the rent the high school one of the little rooms in the high school and you know form a name of a church and go stand there hope that somebody comes right this is congregational you you know how it goes right and so I met a I met another pastor that was in the area and he had just recently taken a church that had a building some land old classic old church and maybe there was 80 people there kind of out in the country outside of Fresno he and I met he was more experienced I mean I had I wasn't experienced at all I just had a hard fire I'm gonna win the world for Jesus in about ten years or less you know it's the goal I'm gonna go to Fresno and just go for it you know just preach and pray for the sick and you know do what do what marks mark 16 says and so I I joined forces with that with that pastor and we work together for the next 10 10 years and it went well moved from one building to another and bought some acreage and built a a church and it it grew nicely you know had a a great time there well be pause there Steve that sounds like a good place to break we'll come back a little bit I do want to tell the audience that during the break we'll put up some slides some information if you're interested of some wonderful books and resources that will address this whole issue of the rapture and because I know there's a lot of ideas floating around that they're very confusing especially to Catholics so look back in just a moment [Music] [Music] welcome back to the journey home I'm Marcus Grodi your host and our guest tonight is Steve Gleason former non-denominational pastor and I've we've we've paused in your journey where you are partner with a another pastor and you've got a very successful church he's worked for 10 years now I had heard that Calvary Chapel had a tendency to be a bit anti-catholic I don't want to besmirched the institution but where were you at well here you're starting your own church where were you at with your Catholic faith I it was it was confusing for me because I didn't buy into the you know anti-catholic part of it it just couldn't go there there was some of the little things you know call no man father I mean some of these more subliminal not subliminal but lightweight kinds of things that you know you'd talk about but I felt confused as you know in a pastoral sense of having this Catholic background and wanting to you know I always wanted to go back and teach things like from the creeds you know but that that wasn't kind of what you did you just you know you pray and you know something's in your heart and you grab five or six scriptures and you just you know preached for an hour and on you know the next week it's something else maybe maybe you would have a midweek Bible study where you know we're gonna study the book of Genesis we're gonna study the book of an and and Calvary Chapel is strong that Pastor Chuck and I believe strongly in that just you know kind of chapter by chapter verse by verse but I never went there concerning anti-catholic just just couldn't do it I you know that's that that depth that was in me cuz yeah there's a lot of that and a lot of crazy things said but for those 10 or so years there you were running your own church proclaiming Jesus Christ yeah just date you know ethnic Catholicism was behind yeah it was just it was just over there I I you know as I said just got captured with the socialization the fellowship I was always disappointed at you know we didn't even call them sacraments and you know two ordinances and and I you know this is what this is what began to happen for me so I mean we're talking years okay so pastoral work then family wasn't right needed I resigned from pastoring difficult times I mean who hasn't had him right you know tragedies difficult times sorrow you know pain sin you know welcome to life right yeah and and so just began to do secular work and you know had to find you know secular work and of course did you know God you know took care of us took care of me and so I'm but I'm staying in the church I'm but I'm still in a you know a charismatic church involved you know in the church helping in any way we can so we leave we move from Thousand Oaks which we're living in and moved to Texas and so we get involved right away with a church that was similar to the one we were in you know after pastoral work in the in the Los Angeles area sort of ventura los angeles area and my wife and i are involved were we're teaching pre marrieds you know i'm leading prayer at the church it's it's a it's a great church you know a great couple of young pastors large church love and life things are going well and i'm flipping from a sports channel to through the radio and i hit what turns out to be 910 AM radio kth radio in the Dallas area and I hear this guy ranting about about about the Catholic Church about Mary about everything and like wow what's that and then this host comes on whose name is Patrick often and Patrick says whoa whoa whoa whoa wait a minute just give me the Superbowl of what you can't stand about the cow like church I said this is great what's this you know give me the super bowl of what you can't stand about the Catholic Church and he goes this whole thing with Mary is completely out of control so Patrick is the host of Catholic Answers and Tim staples had had written just written a book all about it was about Mary yeah and so Tim steps up and starts to talk about Mary and and I can't stop listening to this and so I find out you know I listen a little bit more to find out when this is on so I I you know next day flicked on again the next day I flick on again and so I look up where's a Catholic Church in my area and it is a cross it's 800 yards from the church I was attending so I so Marcus I lead a prayer group is interesting because you're leading pergurt this church there's a Catholic Church and you're oblivious to it oblivious and it's tall and it's taller than any other building but I would go down this one street and turn right to go to our church and it was turn left to go never driven past it and I just went online where's where's a Catholic Church I mean that moment give me the Superbowl of what you can't stand about the Catholic Church Patrick coffin which by the way there's a professional surfer with the last name coffin I thought well maybe he's nice um sandy Patrick of San Diego like maybe this is a father/son thing but didn't turn out to be that way yeah we so I'm I'm listening to and then I'm starting to hear Jimmy and Tim and you know Carla Broussard and and Trent Horne and all these guys that are on and all the different priests and so I'm I'm leading a prayer group at church my wife and I are working with young marrieds and pre marrieds and I I've got to go to Catholic Mass so I would I would finish the prayer group and greet the pastor and I'd slip out and I'd go over to the Catholic go to the Catholic Church based on what I went sometimes it was in Spanish sometimes it was in English I'd catch just maybe 20 minutes of it so and I'm doing this and I don't tell my wife what I'm doing so I'm keep and so I spend time and now I'm now I'm ingesting everything that I can I'm spending all sorts of time you know learning this and my wife says to me one day Teresa says honey do you ever think about switching churches you know it's because that's what you do and you know like you know the amount of times that people in non Catholic churches switch churches is astounding it's like a two to three-year cycle maybe and there's some that are stalwarts and there they're there and we're there but in in these startup churches it's just a very quick turnover because the disappointments happen family situations get too involved it all sorts of things so she says do you think you've ever switching churches and we were happy there I said I said honey if we switch churches we're going to go back to the Catholic Church and she's like no okay you know just sort of left that there and I heard myself say that and I I know I know something's going on I feel the draw you know back inside me but I'm looking at I have had hopes of even being a pastor a pastoral on staff as a pastor at that church and so you know guys that are presently pastoring and listening that are drawn you know being drawn to the Catholic Church you say well what am I going to do my career my vocation my income my you know my promises of the future my insurance is with this denomination and I can't leave let me insert something there Marcus I heard on on Catholic Answers the other day this fellow called up and he said I'm I'm a pastor in a certain denomination and I'm being drawn to the church but I I just don't know what I can do I just can't and I member just yelling at the radio quit just quit my brother I did I yelled at the radio just quit you know because Jesus Jesus calls us out you know he's pick up your cross and carry me forget your 401k if you have to forget the salary that you have at your denominational Church forget it I mean you will be so happy you did because you're gonna have to go find another career and I was just yelling like that at the radio you're gonna have to go out and work probably in a secular world because you're not going to be a pastor with a salary at Saint Francis st. Gabriel st. Michael's it's not that way there's a lot of opportunities to come if you have that fire and that love there's a lot of opportunities for us in the church that the church needs more people that are solid in their faith solid and formation of Catholic theology solid and biblical true solid and sacred tradition solid about the saints and angels these things we're learning and we grow into but you just got to be bold and make a move you know it is an issue of trust I'm guessing though that this is what you were yelling a couple days ago not back then yet no no no no it's always easy you know I know you see it but at the time but at the time there you were being drawn and you mentioned it to your wife the DVD Catholic background oh yeah yeah she was cray lecithin it's a bowl yeah you were yeah had the the seeds planted oh yeah grace that were awakening yeah right we didn't talk we talked about the things of God all the time we talked about you know the ministry areas were involved in but we never really talked about you know being Catholic or something you know going back to that so I so here I am I'm I'm pretty much all in one morning I look at Teresa and I say honey I am going to Mass today and you know just a moment of silence and she says I want to go so we got in the car and didn't didn't go to our church that morning and that wouldn't be like us and if somehow Pastor Joel pastor cleaner listening our pastor john pastor quick sorry so she goes where's where's the Catholic Church so we drive there and it's just kind of a solemn drive to church park in the parking lot and walking toward the front doors and we walk in and I I walked to a baptismal font right big one water's warm we both genuflect which felt so right do I believe in the genuflect I believe in the genuflect I believe and going down on your knee and we sit down and just captured with everything like so many things are swirling around and I and I've been some time now being groomed back into the church is kind of secretly because I wanted to have all this before going to her you know it's all here we keeping secrets but it just I could wanted to get this a more depth because I knew I just had just sensed that she would just say I'm with you let's go if if I caught it and so the the altar server walks in with the crucifix and this was so meaningful to me because I'm both receiving from the Lord but I'm comparing and I'm contrasting and so what I don't see up front is a bunch of really people excited you know in the rock band and I call it a rock band I mean a worship team right I don't want to make I'm not making fun of that but just you know there's no light swirling you know there's no all with it what's up there obviously is the crucifix and the tabernacle and I'm looking at that and I and then I see the altar sir be walking down with the crucifix followed by another altar server followed by a deacon followed by a priest coming in from the back not marching in from the front styled out looking good life is fantastic I'm on top I'm a winner you know that this is human this is humility walking toward Christ walking toward the crucifix holding a crucifix walking toward the tabernacle walking toward hosts that have been consecrated and in the body and the blood and I'm watching these these two merge and then this the singing starts from behind me so again human beings are not really the point of reference here this is all going on through my mind and in like 45 seconds human beings people are not the central point here this is this is this is Jesus and all of a sudden there's a greeting good morning there's a greeting and then the penitential right I think where is this you know the greeting at most non Catholic churches is hey you guys look great this morning that you know the weather's hot the weather's cold you know we're gonna have a great time we've got a picnic after church and make sure you say hi to one another and and then you know three three fast songs for slow songs little exhortation in between you know pastor comes up takes a significant offering significant offering some are better than others you know preaches pastor I was good preaching worship leader that was great worship like wait a minute this is miles from that and the new this the crucifix going toward the front the humility the genuflect the penitential right asking forgiveness at non Catholic churches it's I mean some some do but that's not even in fact some of the leading you know evangelical charismatic preachers today say you don't even need to ask Christ to be forgiven it was already provided once at the cross it's in the atonement you're forgiven already and I'm I'm just sitting I'm sitting it in shock and all of a sudden all I hear is a father I hear the son I hear the Holy Spirit being spoken of all of a sudden I'm hearing 75 to 125 probably Bible verses wrapped in and out of the liturgy in and around the sacraments you know in and around the homily all it is is Jesus and scriptures which is what my pursuit was and I was miles I was miles away from it now I'm sitting there and I kind of you know Therese and I kind of leaned over to each other a couple of times and I I can't really say snarky comments but just like can you believe this this you know this is really what we want and it's so funny because you know we used to say boy Catholics make the best Christians I mean I said that so many times like ex Catholic or something you know some of those raised as a Catholic that became a Christian we see they make the best Christians and and and I believe that so anyway we we you know are sitting there at mass and just we just knew it was went through you know we didn't receive we didn't receive communion the Eucharist because I hadn't been to a sacramental confession so right away I'm going to confession so I walk in now in I was raised where you know there was the little brown kind of felt where he you know for confession back and I walk into the church to have confession and it's just face to face the pre and this is just a few years ago three years this all this occurred within the last about three years so I you know father it has been this is the truth Marcus forty years since my last I said sacramental confession cuz certainly had confessed sins to the Lord no but I said this and he just looked at me and I just took him through you know dr. Anders teaches you don't have to get into the details in fact save the priest the details but just you know line up line up what you feel like you need to say and it was such a powerful moment when that absolution Kame you know because in year's Passover either you need an absolution you don't need to go to a man to confess your sins right you just tell him to the Lord even if you tell him to the Lord at all as some of these preachers are saying I couldn't wait to just lay it on out you know and then received absolution and walked out and I am such that such a promoter of going to confession and allow me to say a moment that I noticed I was standing in line ready to get ready to go to confession and I saw a father maybe early 40s had two boys maybe 14 and 17 18 good-looking boys good-looking dad we're standing in line and I'm just you know preparing my own heart but I'm looking at this father and looking at these two boys and I'm thinking that's a father those boys are going to watch their father bow his knee before another human being and tell them his worst sins and he's going to tell that man the priest his sins how powerful is it for a young man to see a father admit that he's done wrong it's I was just standing there watching this these two and the father knows his boys are going to be doing the same and he's leading the he's leading the path and it was such a powerful moment that that I mean every sacrament is a is of equal value you may say but I love encouraging guys to go to confession often you know to walk into the confessional father it's been two weeks or one week or one day or maybe it's been a month but go to confession because it where does a guy you know in a little in a lot of non Catholic churches there's been a lot of push about accountability get with the brothers iron sharpens iron tell each other what you're going through but really we'll only tell each other what our sins are up to the point the we feel it's sort of acceptable who is really telling the darkest the worst to another to another person but you can go to that little room to that confessional and you can tell the worst and like one priest said in one week of being ordained I heard everything in one week of confessions I've heard it all I've heard it all and so Marcus I'd like to encourage any especially any pastor or real laborer in the in the that's out there considering the Catholic Church a couple things I'd love to say in fact if you're pastoring and you have to be there on Sunday morning of course there's a vigil on Saturday evenings at every Catholic Church 5:00 5:30 maybe six o'clock go slip off I'm getting in trouble now go slip off and go sit in that Mass even if you can only handle it for fifteen or twenty minutes just sit there go for four or five or six or eight weeks in a row just sit there and listen and watch and look and look around and you know put a wig on in dark glasses and a hat if you have to if you're afraid of who's going to see you pastor so-and-so was some driving into the Catholic Church go sit in that church and in that mess and I want you to number to write down the things that are disturbing to you because you may be been trained that statues and Mary and Joseph and what is all this what is all this what are these vestments about why all that and write those down and then research those you can go on on YouTube and you know from a Catholic perspective why do I confess my sins to a man you can go to EWTN you can go to the journey home which you're watching website you can go to there's so many multiple websites go study the things that you find disturbing go study find out about them and then by a by a Catholic catechism catechism I like the 3 C's the canon canon law the catechism and the creeds those three things will keep you safe canon law keep the church and us on track the creeds will keep us from drifting off into heresy into bad doctrine and the Catechism has the formation that you need to know about but take a chance let's go ahead and and be willing to forgo all I want to mention and so much thank you Steve for that draw attention especially pastors out there if you are drawn to what Steve is talking about encourage you to come to our website CH Network org that that way you'll connect with the work of the coming on network that's why we're here is to help clergy and laity or exploring the Catholic Church and as well as EWTN website of course but so please connect with CS network.org just got a couple minutes something struck me about your journey one thing I mean lots of things goes but what you were discovering is that the faith is more than mere intellectual mm-hmm it's all that we are it's very physical you were talking about the need that genuflecting the the physicality we're we're not just spirits trapped in a body where a person and our worship our faith is very much all that we are and you were rediscovering that when you came back to the church yes there's a common expression outside the church that that says you know we are a spirit we have a soul we live in a body it disengages it's three different aiming though though they kind of would say they're one the three different ease but yeah but the body the the things within the church are all part of it the iconography all the the stet the the stained glass all these kinds of things are part of the the religious experience that are that are needful and that are helpful and it's the way you know prior to books that that gospel was communicated these are powerful things and what God reaches us is through our physicalness yes it doesn't mean through our feelings alone but that our in our heart our soul our spirit are all drawn to God and that's what the mass touches us uses all of our senses and as you've also pointed out it's about Jesus oh so much he's there you know we said have you received Jesus yeah every time I go to Mass I receive Jesus it wasn't one time in a lonely moment in my life sitting in a bar Jesus come into my heart he's coming in every time you received the Eucharist as you look back on your life brought up in the church and all the seeds planted and then drifting for a long time then coming back certainly a part of that was your own will mm-hmm was a little bit of it God kind of backing away I've thought about it because you know it's an eleven-day journey from what Mount Horeb in book of Deuteronomy to Kadesh Barnea they could have gotten to where they needed to be in 11 days the scripture says but it was 40 years and you know it was his hand off a little bit Marcus I wish you know there's sorrow in me that I I let it go this long there's disappointment I'm mad at myself you know honestly but that's my story what I can't go back and change it I wish I'd have just been Catholic guy even thought about the priesthood as a little guy but I knew wanted to be a dad and a husband but you know we are what we are and Here I am so I missed those those years but you know I've come back with a vengeance right yeah but you come back gifted in a unique way because of those experiences to give you a story to tell that reaches people that are out there just like you were so praise God for that yes Steven thank you thank you so much we missed on the journey home god bless you and your continued service and you and your family and thank you for sharing with us your journey and as I mentioned audience go to CH Network org if you want to connect with the work of the coming on network and we're here to help especially clergy as well as ladies seeking to know more about the Catholic Church I hope that Steve's journey was an encouragement to you god bless you seedings [Music]

Channel: EWTN

Views: 15,711

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Keywords: ytsync-en, jht01618, jht

Id: f7YxT9tfxes

Length: 56min 10sec (3370 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 10 2018