Josh Peck on Addiction, Happiness, Fatherhood, Drake Bell, Amanda Bynes & More | Inside of You

[Music] you're listening to inside of you with michael rosenbaum how are you today i hope you're uh doing well ryan are you all right i'm doing okay yeah doing okay i'm a little under the weather today yeah you've assured me it's not coveted so we're okay i got tested yesterday for cove and i wasn't covered but uh just like a head cold or a sinus thing something going on i got a tailor to tellable i got a terrible allergy attack uh because the weather changed drastically wasn't that the worst i just want nothing worse than feeling like [ __ ] just feeling off oh my god it's all on your face i mean i had to interview someone today but that went fine i went well but i was uh you know at some points i was just like oh my god but uh he survived got a great guest today we'll get into that in just a minute but i want to thank everybody for uh coming to the shows the stage it shows again i want to say you know uh on march 5th we had two shows and we did really well a lot of people showed up and uh thank you for supporting my band sunspin and uh also if you want to follow the podcast it means a lot if uh thank you by the way for spending your afternoon with us or just an hour with us a week it's not asking much but there are a lot of choices and you choose to be here and i really appreciate that so thank you uh what are the handles for our podcast ryan oh they're out inside if you call it on twitter inside of you podcast on instagram and facebook that's absolutely right and uh there's also an inside of you online store if you want to go to that just go to the inside of your online store we got great stuff like smallville signed lunch boxes from tom and myself uh inside of you mugs tumblers all a bunch of stuff just go look at there's a lot of great stuff on there also a big shout out to all my patrons uh they give the uh give back to the podcast in many ways and if you go to patreon p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash inside of you you can join the wonderful family there's different tiers and things you get from me and youtube lives and all this stuff and i will uh as soon as you join i will send you a message thanking you inside of you it's called it's patreon.com inside of you and uh i appreciate you listening i appreciate you writing a review if you like the show uh today's guest is uh you know i didn't really know much about him i didn't know much about josh peck and uh he's got a big following you know he talks about being a child actor and how how he had to grow out of that and uh just you know being on drugs and he was very open and honest he has a new book out and i really enjoyed having him on wasn't he wasn't he fun he was good he was and i think you're gonna really enjoy this one so let's get inside of josh peck it's my point of view you're listening to inside of you with michael rosenbaum [Music] inside of you with michael rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience i know ryan do you yeah do ryan reynolds no i'm not that fancy ryan philippi i had i saw him at a fancy la eatery once felipe and the worst the worst part was my mom got there first so i walk in and i see her talking to ryan philippe he's with his beautiful children right and my mom as i walk in goes you know my son he's famous too and i'm like oh god mom your mom did that it's the worst central ever oh man is your mom jewish i think that's safe to say i'm a jew so that my mom my mom would do that [ __ ] my grandmother would do that [ __ ] she feels the urge to anywhere we are and it's been years i mean like the the people she's talking to probably don't know smallville you know or whatever or some things that i've done and she'll go into a restaurant and the waitress will come over a server you can't say waitress anymore i don't know what the [ __ ] he could say anymore i can't say anything i i just shut my mouth because i just say the wrong thing all the time same yeah inadvertently but you know the server will come and go oh can i get you some menu she's like yeah my son's famous my grandson he's famous she's like great and it's not for you like it could be confused is like pride it's not it's all self-serving for them it is isn't it yeah it's for them it's for them to feel good it's my mom knows it makes me viscerally at my deepest level uncomfortable you say anything to her every time almost every time big fights over it really yeah like literally especially when it's when i'm having rough times and she's like pitching me like i've got a new show coming out i'm like i haven't worked in 19 months i haven't had a call back in 11 months not looking good for me might have to go you know find a real job and she's like no no you got the magic and people know i'm like ma don't do this when i'm around you i feel bad about me so when i'm around you i feel bad about me is that in your book should be it should be yeah i like that i mean you've got a story man i you know what what i like is that you see where you come from and you know obviously drake and josh and and how i met your fathers on hulu now and social influencer and all these movies turner and hooch and red dawn and like you've done so many things and then you write a book it's like it's never enough josh is now he has to be an author yes and and it's author of happy people are annoying which is a great title thank you that's a really great title because happy people are annoying yeah how are they annoying to you well i just i always think the first thing when i think that i think of when i'm out and i'm you know i'm single i'm lonely and then you see a couple and they're laughing and giggling and i'm like oh [ __ ] them [ __ ] them but that's not right because why should you be like that way about other people you want the other people to be happy but it says something about yourself in a lot of ways doesn't it oh yeah someone said to me the other day he's like i don't like forced fun which is why i don't go to coachella anyone's who's capable of force fun like we're like we're gonna go to the new harry potter thing at universal studios and i'm like unironically and they're like yeah butterbeer i'm like i don't get you butter they're hyped i don't understand you or do you think i mean look we'll get into it but overall do you think because i could answer this are you a happy person do you feel like you are happy you've gone through a lot in your life but overall when you wake up and you look in the mirror and you're by yourself and there's nobody around you can you honestly look at yourself in the mirror and look at your reflection go i like you i love you i'm happy i think so i mean the conceit of the book is like where i started it was throughout most of my life i'd look at people who were inherently happy or at least exuding what looked like happiness and i thought oh like happiness is reserved for quarterbacks and cheerleaders and like people who have like inherited money and people with six packs and like all these things and i figured that everyone had been handed a manual for life at birth that i was just not privy to like i didn't get that right so i was resentful at i was like no it's i you know things affect me too deeply i'm too sensitive too analytical too neurotic for this world right so i would look at these people and just be like oh you don't get it like you're you're humming at this weird level that i'll never be at but like where i'm at feeling the feelings this is life this is real exactly that's there's something truthful about that i mean i think you know i i was a short kid i was the shortest kid in my high school i didn't start puberty too late i was you know i was picked on i was not popular and um going through high school i would just look around me and go god i wish i was that guy it was all envy it was like i wish i was that guy which is the quarterback i wish i had that girl i wish i could get that if that girl just gave me the chance you'd see how funny and sweet i was but i'll never get that chance they're happy i want to be like them yes that's always the feeling but i don't believe that anybody's truly happy i think we're all trying to like you said something about being content what is it you said about being content it was a quote or something in your book about being content and that's that's with yourself just saying i am good enough it's like that that saturday night live thing what was uh i'm good enough i'm smart enough and god damn it what does he say yeah yeah yeah you know people like that and people like me yes but you know it's sort of like hey this is me this is what i've got and there's these personal traits these personal things that these these things that we do that we just try to escape like this makes i'm annoyed at myself i i don't think you know i'm like why would anybody want to be my friend why would anybody want to talk to me why would anybody want to you know and you start to think that that's who you are and you try to escape it you try to push it away yes i'll have a cooler personality i'll be cooler i'll be quiet i'll be this but your real self comes out it just comes out right yeah i mean to your point like that it took me so long long to learn the duality of ego and being self-centered and i used to think much like quarterbacks like if you're self-centered or you're egotistical like that's reserved for high achievers um and then someone would show me like hey if you spend all day thinking about how great you are or how awful you are you're only thinking about you you're self-centered wow and i was like oh that too i'm also self-centered oh good but it's true like i think like the ego and and i can only speak for myself but my mind wants me separate from like it doesn't want me to be a worker amongst workers it either wants me to be like i'm somehow pleased with a performance of mine and i'm like well this verifies my suspicion that i'm the best i'm the [ __ ] man or 90 of the time i'll see something i dislike or anything you know anything can trigger it something doesn't work out and i go i knew it this is but a preview of more bad to come yeah you know yeah and my mind just wants me all alone instead of being like yeah highs and lows that's life you know me and the next guy how hard are you on yourself do you think you've let up a little bit do you think you over the years you've just become more like hey i'm going to be better to myself i'm because i think that's really important to just be good to yourself to give yourself a break to say i'm not perfect to say i'm not i'm not all these things but i am all these things and you know do you are you hard on yourself i am but i to your point yeah like i'm 35 you're 35 yeah you look young thanks man i thought maybe you were like 26. ryan what did you think no i i read this i read the wikipedia no i knew him my man ryan and his reasons for trying over here but also he walked in and i looked you in the face like oh that's someone around my age because that rarely happens in here so are you are you i'm 33 but i'm about to turn 34. and you look great too right thanks man you got grades we both have dark hair i got a lot of grays yeah it's not just dark hair no i mean they're coming in i gotta cut my head and then see right now i'm looking at both of you and listening to both you and thinking [ __ ] off because i'm going to be 50 in a few months and you have no gray hairs though i have gray hairs right here that's it right now on top and a great i mean great head of lettuce over there so far they can't why you get gray hairs you're oh yeah you do oh they're you dye it no they're here i just they i kind of put some gel in so it helps like chill i get what should i say pomade pomade sure i you know i just was wondering what you used cream that was like whatever has been sent to me for free like i feel like the one thing you get is an actor of any sort of like you could either be an oscar winner or you know on infomercials you can probably get free hair products yeah that's true i'll get you know a couple things of gel a year and be like well once these are done i guess i'll go and buy some at rite aid what's the coolest free [ __ ] you've gotten oh i got a car for a couple months they let me borrow a car was this the gm was there oh gm's doing it well they did i remember i had some friends that got three cars for a while and i never was that guy i never got that i might when my wife was pregnant i made because i was doing a lot of social media and youtube stuff so i made this video where i told my friends like where i would tell them that she was pregnant and catch their reactions and it's just like this feel good thing and it was beautiful because a lot of people saw it and a lot of baby brands were like need a stroller and i was like in fact i do strollers are expensive as hell so i got the stroller and a few other things and acura randomly emailed and was like need a car for the first couple months with your new kiddo and i was like who am i to turn down acura parent company of honda man acura gave him a free car but then hard body karate i hope you're listening acura they like hit us up randomly like somewhere two and a half months in and was like we're taking it back tomorrow i'm like no planning no heads up back here because we want it back yeah we're over you you didn't post enough is that what it was probably oh my god yeah that's the thing hey do me a favor take me back to take me back to childhood take me back to when you were a kid because you know i used to complain everybody complains about their parents and it's just like you know my dad's this he's not affectionate he doesn't say i love you he doesn't he's not you know he's not really present my mom's this she's off the wall she's just everybody complains and everybody's got it some people have it worse and people there's always people out there that have it worse i look at your life and i'm like your father wasn't there right and your mother raised you and that had to be hard as [ __ ] for a little kid yes can i say [ __ ] on the podcast can you can i run ryan it's your old podcast sure yeah i say so thanks yeah why not yeah but you know just i look at that i'm like right away i'm like wow i'm sort of like i feel for you like you didn't have that father figure and talk to me about that how was that pretty tough i you know i didn't know i didn't miss what i had never had so i talk about this in my book and it's it's much like we were we were talking about like my biggest issue with life and god in the universe was just how different i was like i didn't have a dad i was fat like i was a musical theater kid i wasn't good at sports single mom like we were just we were so terminally unique at a time where you don't want like you just desperately want to fit in even like you know there's no there's not really jew heroes when you're eight like there was like sandy koufax within three four of my time you're like yeah i know we got einstein but it's not really is there a jew pokemon that's amazing yeah i need a hero and so i that's amazing so yeah i but i didn't have a resentment against my dad i had a resentment of against god like i even talk about how my mom and i she has a fear of flying so we would constantly take trains or drive you know from new york to florida and i'm like of course because flying would be too normal for the backs and yeah and and then the dad stuff started to sort of rear its ugly head in my teens and when i was able to finally sort of face it or start cracking that anger and resentment that i had was actually when i started losing weight and it was until i was in my 20s and i found out that he had passed away and i had this wave of just sort of i don't know if it was remorse or regret in having never meeting him that i was like wait i i now have to mourn this guy i never met too so there were many phases to working it out there's there's a weird i guess innate sadness about that like sort of you know [ __ ] him he wasn't here mom's taking care of me i've got it i have a career i'm making money i'm living my life and then the guy that never was there dies and it still affects you yes how do i mean what do you do how do you deal with that you know for the years leading up to that i was again in my early 20s i'd gotten sober and i lost all this weight and i was like my career was so up and down but like i knew there was enough data to support that i think things are going to work out in some way i have no idea how but i i've sort of made it i'm certainly the weight and height of a full-grown man and i think i might be on my way there right and i was like if i go find my dad right now he's 86 and i'm 24 or 25 at the time and i don't need anything from him so what do i get like he gets this great kid who doesn't need anything and i don't get the full dad experience like i get this geriatric dude and i was yeah and then when i found out he had passed away and i tell the story in the book he had no online footprint because the dude was almost 90. and so your mom liked older dudes yeah well my mom's older she's older my mom was 43 when she had me and he was like 62. wow she did like the older guys shout out mom i seen the book like my dad was getting like medicare and chicks pregnant that's that's nice that's nice respect right um but i you know i i i decided i knew that he had another family and my mom had met his other family like his wife who he supposedly was had a well-timed separation on the one night that he actually hooked up with my mom and like his kids who were grown because he was an older guy so a bunny of mine said why don't we search your your siblings you know their name and all of a sudden on facebook like i had never i'm 26 i'd never even seen a picture of him and suddenly you know what he looked like i mean i assumed he looked like a jewishy richard gere that's what you were thinking in your head oh it's like this is what this dad looks like right at best oh you're right not bad not a bad looking guy pretty good looking guy nice yeah it's certainly nice i'll show you a picture of him i carried him on my phone you do like because people wonder they're like oh what you know they i always say like their your parents are like these weird genetic road maps and all i had was my mom so it felt like half of me i wasn't informed on what to expect right but but anyway i i find my siblings and there's all these posts throughout their life of them with their father and at bar mitzvahs and weddings and then inevitably when he passed away these beautiful tributes to him and i just kind of said you know majority rules like this guy had a family and it would have taken a shitload of courage to be able to tell them what had happened and they didn't know what happened i'm assuming not i'm not exactly hiding but i don't yeah i don't think so otherwise i imagine my siblings might be like wait we have like a brother out there who's famous he doesn't suck who doesn't suck yeah yeah so yeah it weirdly allowed me to forgive him in a weird way i was like oh you weren't like there's more than one part of you and what i needed you to be for me you were you were for this other family and i can't be the arbiter of like the ultimate right or the ultimate good yeah but and then of course uh you know because you're a dad right to a dog exactly you get it i get it right yes human and dog very similar soon so the the the argument could be made that the dog is superior but it was until i had my own kid and i had to do it with him and i was like oh like my dad missed all this and so he didn't get off scot-free he just messed up yeah did you was there a party that i want him to see my fame i wanted to see that i did all right i want to see him to see that i made money and then i'm i'm on my two feet and i could do this and i don't need him i maybe i mean i my mom had sent him a picture of me when i was five and just sort of like um a quick little blurb about where i was at and crushing you know blocks or reading and rushing blocks did he respond he no and so i was like oh he turned down this like fetching five-year-old like so i just figured he was probably so i people always say like you think he thought about you on like his last couple hours on this earth and i was like i hope not i hope not i would have been inside would be like i hope he did i hope he thought of me i hope he thought about the one thing that he regretted the one thing that he just wish he would have done differently and that was me yeah you know i get i think that a lot of people would think that way yeah it seems like you got your [ __ ] together and you're a little more humble than that maybe it took a lot of work again i'm so damn self-centered that it's almost like i can't even think about the reasons why you know i am the way i am or i have the insecurities or trauma or dysfunction i just i'm so so like i blame myself for everything for better or for worse really pretty much yeah but i spin out when i do that and and then i just go and then i just get a case of the [ __ ] it so i have to mitigate that two tears in a bucket [ __ ] yeah this podcast is sponsored by betterhelp online therapy everybody knows these guys everybody loves them i love them ryan that's great yeah yep it's helping you getting a lot out of it ain't men look folks relationships take work especially the most important one you can have in your life and that is your relationship with yourself a lot of us will drop anything to go help someone we care about we'll go out of our way to treat other people well but how often do we give ourselves the same treatment it's true we don't we're not good to ourselves enough and you got to be good to yourself and you'll learn how to be good yourself but one of those things you could do is join better help this month better help online therapy wants to remind you that you matter just as much as everyone else does and therapy is a great way to make sure you show up for yourself ryan what would you say better help is doing for you uh it is helping me to learn about myself better uh how to treat myself better uh and just talking about things that are bothering me however big or small yeah because sometimes you think oh i have friends to talk to you i have no you you can't be absolutely open with your thoughts and your demons and your thing just with friends or you know people think they take it it's so easy you know like oh i don't need to worry about that and it builds up and it builds up and it festers and we all implode at some point so we got to take care of ourselves and better help online therapy is there to help us better help is online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to it's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used better help online therapy this podcast is sponsored by betterhelp and inside of you listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com inside that's b e t t e r h e l p dot com slash inside thank you better help couldn't do it without you inside of you is brought to you by ferrari ferrari brand is unbelievable and let me tell you why this is the company that i actually went out to get i had probably bought five or six shirts and other articles of clothing and i just love how they feel the softness and the quality of the product and i and i asked my my lovely agnes who's uh who works over at westwood one i said can you get verity on i just love ferrity and guess what we got faraday everyone's talking about fake spring and how difficult it is to dress around this time but that's because it is it can be so difficult to find the right outfit in the spring when every day is different and weather can change at the drop of a hat luckily therapy makes it way easier they make the perfect clothes for all seasons and that is the truth faraday is a family-run brand making high-quality timeless clothing with modern design and functionality it's that kind of effortless style you want every time you go digging into your closet that set that shirt that dress that feels like you have had them for years maybe it's in a gorgeous print and it looks like it might be vintage but it fits so well that it feels like it was made just yesterday just for you well that's parody yeah i love this and i love how i'm not one to always say hey touch me but i'm always like to my friends i'm like hey feel this feel you got to feel this quality kind of like a little stretch warmth comfort you have to try fahrity you really do i want them to stick around to sponsors for one but really i love their their product and i hope you guys do verity is so confident the quality of their stuff they have a lifetime guarantee of quality they will replace or fix your clothes forever no matter what have you ever heard of that with clothes talk about making it easier to get dressed and right now faraday is giving all my listeners inside of you listeners 20 off 20 percent off head to ferrity that's f-a-h-e-r-t-y brand b-r-a-n-d faradybrand.com and use code inside of you at checkout to snag 20 off all your new spring staples that's inside of you at faraday f-a-h-e-r-t-y brand dot-com for 20 off you were doing stand-up at like eight years old is that true i was how is that possible where are you doing this i was too fat for t-ball did you try to go for t-ball or you just didn't even try for sports i tried um but the asthma and the weight it just didn't asthma overweight great living with your mom your dad has nothing to do with you i mean these are these are things that would [ __ ] up almost anybody for sure right yeah man yeah but then i mean you mentioned how like when you were 14 you were feeling insecure and and was that just because you hadn't hit puberty yet i mean were you still like a pretty athletic normal kid well i guess i was athletic but i remember we were like played basketball it was indiana so people played basketball and people would do shirts and skins and i would if i was a skin i'd say guys you know what i don't feel well because i didn't want to take my shirt off because i had no hand on my arms and i remember mike curry down the street was like harry and the hendersons and he would be like rosenbaum you've got no hair under your arms you're like 15. what's up i'm like oh i'm a swimmer i'm a swimmer yeah they we shave we shave so you know it's the aerodynamics through the water so that's what i do fair i'd make up stories i was embarrassed i was i mean i i remember crying one day because my dad was six foot five my mother was relatively tall and my mom was always you know she took a lot of valium a lot of pills she was a pill popper and yeah my kind of person yeah exactly and dad was always you know back in the day not when i was growing up but like smoked a lot of pot when he was in his you know 18 and then he he had me when he was 18 or 19 and my mom was 23. wow but i remember crying i remember being in the kitchen and going if you do so many [ __ ] drugs i wouldn't be so small what's wrong with me you're tall you're tall and i went and i just heard them laughing as they left the room and i was like god you're an idiot but i mean i just it's uh i don't know where i was going with that how did jews make it to indiana uh dad got a job transfer he got a job transfer and uh it was it was weird i mean i never really felt the you know being a jew in indiana that much i think my mom probably felt it uh my dad they sensed it but i was kind of ignorant to that i just sort of like was in my own world my sister experienced some people like one guy throwing a quarter down the hallway and saying go fetch it jew sure but you know i didn't yeah terrible but i i didn't i didn't i wasn't privy to that i didn't feel that in my life i had some young cool friends and um i did everything i could to get away from my parents i would just i want to stay out with my friends as long as possible play flashlight tag and capture uh fireflies uh fireflies that they're called fireflies and just stay out until i had to come home you really didn't want to be home you felt like that totally and it wasn't it was just the reality of like when you have a mom who's in her 50s and she's exhausted from working and slowly taking a kid around all day like i remember on the weekends if we did one thing and we're in new york right so it's not like you know there weren't kids in my building and like i couldn't just go no i mean around i remember around like 11 when i started middle school at sixth grade i started taking the bus the the crosstown bus alone which you know how old 12 12. so that was that was my freedom pass but i remember if like my mom and i would do one thing on a saturday like go to the mall for two hours and eat at the food court like that was it like when we got home at two we were shut down for the night and i was like [ __ ] like yeah now it's me and the tv to 10. she got so lonely what did she was she uh the type of mother because i know she's a jewish mother but would she talk about your weight you have to lose weight you have to or would she just feed you and you need to eat which way did it go well she had always she has always struggled with food and weight we're just we come from a family of big people so i knew that i saw firsthand that i was like oh food is an issue for the pecs like it's this like menacing force so at like five six seven years old i would like be sitting playing game boy at weight watchers meetings that she was at just over to the side or overeaters and honestly you were just there for her yeah because she had no one to leave me with wow but it's certainly informed food was the ultimate focus and food was great or terrible it was brisket for holidays or popcorn at the movies or let's order chinese or it was you know we have to only keep cold cuts in the fridge because otherwise mom will binge and we have to make sure there's no like fruit by the foot or dunkaroos around here because josh will lose his [ __ ] and blackout i'll find him on the floor drooling right yeah oh my god did you get made fun of oh yeah viciously really in school at a young age you remember being called what yeah i remember at the gcc the first time when i was eight years old and a kid called me a fat [ __ ] and i was like bad [ __ ] how old is he i was like really at our community center like we're supposed to band together guys were you humiliated oh it was the i'll tell you it was the first thing because obviously i was hyped to the fact of like oh i'm bigger than my fellows like i you have a really good attitude i mean you're like you have this this sort of feeling i don't know you're so ahead of your time that i would be just like a mess and you're like well you know what this is why this is happy you have always these thoughts like well i have a reason for this there's a reason for this it feels like there's a light bulb that went you're just a smarter kid than i was i don't know i i think i i maybe it's where i portray it now because then it was i remember when he said that it was like the first time it wounded and i was like oh like being this way is gonna be challenging yeah this is gonna and i think i very soon after i made a decision that like as an overweight person true or not this was what i thought you walk into a room at a debt like at a disadvantage people make a snap judgment about you that you're you know slothful you lack control and that it it was incumbent on me to win them over and i think that's what inspired comedy and whatnot because i was like how do i even i just i don't even want to be thought of as great i just want to be on an even playing field as everyone else so you thought if you were doing stand-up comedy and you can kind of show them up and kind of say hey look i'm not that guy i'm funny i've got i'm creative i have talent i have all these things so don't look at me as the fat guy look at me as a creative funny yeah you know and what would you make like in your stand up would you use your weight as part of the joke you know yeah like i had you know and i'm sure they probably had it in indiana entenmann's um it was like store brands and pastries yes yes i don't know if it's big on the west coast but you know it's like store brand danish and donuts and huge on the east coast and one of my jokes when i was like 10 years old was i at school i majored in entomology the study of entemens [Laughter] coming out of a little fat kid's mouth they were like oh this is genius this is great so i i surely was like i'll make fun of myself first so you don't have the chance and in doing so hopefully when you over wow and this is something you were telling your mom at a young age i wanna i wanna do stand up yeah i mean she was my mom is like the ultimate sort of vaudevillian i mean she's she's 77 right so her contemporaries were mel brooks and carl reiner and the true greats of comedy but she was like the self-made businesswoman um a female in the workforce in the 70s and 80s who like had to deal with a lot of male [ __ ] and dealing with like weight and just all this stuff all these challenges so i would watch her take over rooms like she was she was very confident always ready with a joke oh it's just like a natural she was overweight yes very overweight always like you talked about with weight watchers she was very heavy she would vacillate sometimes she would be totally like at a normal weight and it was great and then she could put on a good amount of weight quickly so it just was it yo-yo throughout my whole life did she date did she date did you see other men that came into the picture or no never what oh she's giving me that movie line like when i you know when you were born like that ended for me she never dated after you not so you don't think your mom since she had you at 43 has had sex in 30-something years i hope not i don't want to think about it i don't know i mean i think probably but it's like it was probably she was in such survival mode my whole life and i was just hurt her utter focus that if she did i'm hoping it was just a quick fling and i hope they were nice to her i hope they used a rubber yeah exactly i don't mean another one of me out there like well how did it all start like you started doing comedy your mom notices he's got something he's got a spark he's funny yeah and then what you you went to an agent you had how'd you get an agent i so i was reading did you ever when you were starting out as an actor did you read backstage magazine of course new york yeah yeah i was not i was eight or nine years old and this was before stand up and i find this guy in the classified sid gold at gold star entertainment sid gold still around reps jennifer lawrence no i'm kidding no no no he doesn't yeah jennifer leibowitz though well that's who jennifer lawrence was sure exactly um but yeah so he i go in and and i meet him and and the ads like i represent people of all ages and and he's a sweet guy and he says listen i can get you placed that maybe caroline stand up new york i can get you a little stage time so if you can put together an act five minutes of comedy i will get you stage two how do you and uh how old are you eight or nine yeah but how do you get into a comedy club isn't it like alcohol and things like that what do they want a kid who's eight or nine up there so i started at afternoon shows so try doing stand up at two yeah nobody there terrible terrible so i do those but it was like a shtick i just had this vision of you i just said so anyway uh entenmann's and uh okay nobody has some chicken tenders yeah exactly the thing about pokemon is like you know i can't do any crowd work because no one has has my references um but yeah and then as i got better at it and i there was like oh there's like this kid comedian who's got this shtick like maybe we can we can sandwich them in between real comedians at 11 o'clock at night they would have to sneak me in so they wouldn't lose their liquor license wow yeah like through the back door anybody famous that you'd go after that you could recall or that was up that night i'm trying to no i mean i remember i was on a tv show with with a young before half baked chapelle really and i was like i'm a comedian too he's like okay what was that all it was the tv show was called fox after breakfast fox after breakfast tom bergeron really and chappelle was on that yeah and how old were you i was 11. i'll show you the picture it's great i have to see it and it and chappelle was there chappelle couldn't have been older than 24. do you remember him being very funny were you like this guy's really funny yeah i mean i think at that time i was like oh this guy will get to my level eventually you were cocky yeah i mean i was just like the beauty of that age where as soon as you're good at something and especially like it wasn't being good at athletics at that age where you're probably good amongst a lot of good kids i was such an outlier like a good comedian who had a you know a good 11 year old comedian was so rare so i certainly felt like oh i've got this little superpower this little thing and your mom saw it too did she see it as a as a like you know you know those moms yeah they're like oh this is a vehicle this he could make some money for me and for him and this could be great for the both of us and or was she just like do what you want to do she always do what you want to do or was she like do this she was pretty she was pretty incredible about it i have to be honest like i just you know we we were so up and down financially and you shared a room in your apartment you lived in you had a one bedroom and that you shared with your mother yeah so like we we literally went from sharing a studio where we would switch off on like a murphy bed and the couch and then we got a one bedroom and basically the living room turned into her room and i had the bedroom and then we lived in a different one bedroom and we switched that she's like enough already like i i require a bedroom i was like it's fine i'll be i'll be fine here near the terrace and then yeah and then i remember i was 12 years old and i was starting to like make you know i was just starting to i did the conan o'brien show and rosie o'donnell and i'm like oh maybe this could work out for me and we went broke again and i talk about in the book like the book i don't know when the veil of adolescence falls and all of a sudden you're like oh like life is unjust like life is unfair this sucks you started to feel that yeah it was a really rough summer of like 1998 and i just was like i need to do something about this not pushed or prompted by my mom but more so like i don't want to be this powerless and at the whim of my mom's career because it's too up and down she's doing her best but i just don't want to feel this way anymore and i think i saw that that was an inflection point where i really double down on on acting really and stand up yeah and so what was the first thing that you remember going oh thank god this is going to bring some money on the you know back home well i had a jew i had you know jewish grandparents and and um aunts and uncles who are all like this is cute but you know this is a hobby right this is no way to live what you're doing really they thought that about acting in general yeah they were like you'll do this until you go to law school right and i was like no probably not who's paying exactly and i remember that summer and it was really tough and my mom looked at me and you know i was going to go from my elementary school to middle school in my district but we didn't have a district anymore because we had to move in the middle of the night and she was like you know there's a performing arts high school on the west side near times square you should audition for that like i think you would i think you'd you'd love it and i went there ten days later i'm would you have to do give a monologue no i did i did five minutes of stand up for the vice principal shout out miss bruno miss bruno you know she had the eye she had the eye of the tiger of the talent of the the baby talent yeah the baby talent but i walk into that school and all of a sudden i'm surrounded by these kids who are on broadway and they're on tv shows and they're making grown-up money i was like that girl has a car i was like like she's 16 and she has a car in new york that's in pot no one has a car in new york so you didn't feel like you fit in really did you well what i felt was like oh maybe my aunts and uncles and grandparents are wrong maybe you can do this and make grown-up money so it was a bit like it basically at every turn whether it was that moment or when i got my first tv show it was a level up it was like oh i'm gonna really have to dedicate myself to this now if i want to operate it these kids level and you were intimidated or you were just like i i'm not intimidated i'm ready to [ __ ] get there oh yeah i did i think i did more extracurriculars that year because like i'm in this fun house for weird musical theater kids so you got in you got into the performing arts school oh my god i'm in and i'm doing i was like in choir in dance in vocal in in drama classes everything oh i just was like from home you were always at school the best i was the after school kid like before this my mom would drop me off at the ymca and um or she'd drop me off at school then we'd go to the ymca six so i was out of the house from eight to six every day and you loved it i was heaven i was like who another round to kick the can anyone brothers sisters and how old are you 9 10 oh yeah that was yeah and it worked for her she had to work you know i mean i have a kiddo now who's three and like i have a wife and i've got a lot of support and i'm still like ah that's not enough time in the day right yeah oh my god it's a lot so so you're going to this performing arts school you've got this agent sid gold god bless him i'd moved on sorry dawn already from sid what can i say i mean you were only with sit for a for a year maybe maybe and you moved on was he very upset i think he's my a buddy of mine the other day was like i i was wrapped by sid gold too he got me like a tv show i was like i should have stuck her out everybody [ __ ] leaves sid gold what is that and he's still going these people leave him they come into his life he helps them and then they just let go of them who do you know they remember the name of your first agent there was one um arthur arthur something but i remember i told him that i'm gonna go with this other agency oh and i remember i called him and i said hey what was his [ __ ] name and i just remember him going hey first he goes hello i go hey it's michael where's my goes michael how you doing and i'm like good listen i just wanted to talk to you um you know i there's this uh you know this other agent that's pursuing me and they've got this commercial department goes go for it [ __ ] off that was it how healthy just was like [ __ ] you was he you know a one-man shop like he was kind of a one-man shop he was like [ __ ] you go do whatever you want he was so insulted that i would consider another agent of course it wasn't maybe as blunt but it was pretty like hang up the phone and i remember going wow yeah i guess uh that wasn't right for me i wonder if sid gold got pissed off when you left and was like [ __ ] you josh [ __ ] i was getting forty dollars a night at caroline so i think he was getting a percentage of that four bucks he was really getting you would send him money i don't know i don't want your four bucks kid i want that uh was it an acura what did you get the car the free car right now later on mdx the the full-size sedan really suv jesus is so lucky i mean and technology package nice nav nice navigating system inside of you is brought to you by patreon that's right patreon listen guys patreon helps the podcast survive it's people over there my patrons who give back to the podcast a little bit more and there's so many friendships that have spawned from this and relationships people on patreon that support the podcast and i really appreciate it but it's built in incredible community uh if you want to get early access to episode content check out the patreon if you want to interact with fans of the show check out the patreon if you want to get exclusive access to have your questions asked during the show uh check out the patreon i mean ryan heck if you just love what we do and you want to keep this train rolling check out that patreon uh it doesn't take much to get involved and i'm there all the time i'm chatting with folks and putting together live hangouts i literally could not do this like i said without my patrons so to get more involved in the community today head over to patreon.com inside you that's p-a-t-r-e-o-n patreon.com inside of you and i will message you right after you join and i am excited to see your name uh patreon.com inside of you and i will see you there soon so you're a mother at this point and you're taking all these classes and extracurricular she's seeing something she's like seeing this love this passion for it yeah she knew did she you know then that you know you're going somewhere you know when i eventually a year later got offered this tv show in california and basically i had to leave my whole life to go do that what was that it was called the amanda show with amanda bynes amanda how is she to work she's the greatest was she really the greatest again much like going to this performing arts high school i show up and it's a sketch comedy show and she's she's like the carol burnett and i and of course they ice me right away which i don't blame them for but i had been sort of put i had been highly suggested that i get this job from the president of nickelodeon who had met me a year before and was like you got something you're funny and as you know producers love being told what to do right and they were like okay and they took me but they didn't know so i was relegated to waiter number three in sketchup oh boy but instead of being resentful i was like embraced it yeah and i just watched her because i'm like we're six months apart in age but you are like decades ahead of me in ability and i just sort of studied her instead of being pissed i was on the bench did she like you i think or did she not really was aware of you she wasn't aware of you as much as like i don't well you were the third waiter this the server yeah i remember yeah you had you have something yeah you like the snack table you still like the snack table at that point oh that's when i really started doing damage i'm like this is free this is this is good we got free food you know as much food as you want though and no one ever complained about your weight like any producers or directors or they just embrace it like yeah let him be the overweight kid oh they loved it i mean i was especially in the early 2000s like i was fulfilling a niche like a thing especially in like y.a or kids tv there was always the fat friend or the fat bully and like that was a big part that was sort of my inspiration or motivation to lose weight was like if i really want to act i'm being relegated and stereotyped into these like two parts and it doesn't seem like they're writing parts for people like me that's anything more than this right but yeah i mean it's obviously so much better now and i don't mean i think some people might read my book and think i speak hyperbolically about myself or or i'm taking the piss out of myself too much but it was it was truly a different world right for a guy who looked like me at that time right and this kind of led you into when you did drake and josh it was sort of the same thing well yeah drake was so amanda was on all that which was like snl for kids right she got amanda show drake and i were on amanda show and we got our own show a year later they liked you guys that much that you just blossomed on the show yeah you got your own show yeah they called the guy who created all that and amanda showed this guy dan schneider and they were like do you have another like buddy comedy idea because he had made keenan and cal and he said nope they were like great well if you have an idea let us know and drake and i are doing a scene towards the last episode of the season and this guy steve milaro who's now you know huge writer and and producer for chuck laurie he goes over to dan and goes um don't they want you to write a buddy comedy and he said yeah he's like it's those two idiots like those really he's like that's your b those are your buddies and six months later we were on the set of drake and josh were you were you shocked that you're getting your own show seemed like that's how it worked like oh this is how hollywood works like you do good on one show and then you get your own show at least for kids tv and your mom is in la with you because you moved with her from new york to l.a yeah she's there to support you we've got a two-bedroom apartment at the avalon i'm talking amenities like a racquetball court um what a treat carpet carpet nice carpet a fridge with the ice dispenser like we could not we were literally happy we could not believe how good our life was and how close were you with drake at that point very very tight very good friends no we never we i think what was always we were naturally just kind of like we had a brotherly type thing where it was either we were close or or we were really not but what we could appreciate about each other i think was like there's some magic here like something works between us i remember not to like compare to true geniuses but don rickles has this great quote about him and um um oh my god i'm bored kilmer no his [Laughter] his partner bob newhart oh new horror of course and he always said here i was this jew from queens and is that is it ice cream no it's i never turn it off it's the cuckoo clock cute yeah so if you hear the cuckoo clock it means it's a really good episode love it everyone it's noon no is it it's uh it's so it's almost noon perfect yeah oh you have a cuckoo clock for like 11 50. yeah so it's off it's it's off it's off i i it really is it doesn't work right it's just it goes off whenever it wants to that's even more yeah but i need to turn it off but go ahead new heart so and uh rickles has this great quote about him in newhart where he's like here i was just like you know jewish kid from queens and he was this you know catholic guy from the midwest came from totally different backgrounds but something about us together worked and like drake's a you know some kind of christian from orange county and i'm this chubby jew kid from new york but like somehow when we got together it worked it worked it worked but you net didn't necessarily get along or liked each other or hung out it just worked it just worked but did you go home and say mom i just really don't like drake somebody's just a real [ __ ] he's so mean i don't know no sometimes i mean and i'm sure he said the some version of that knowing josh peck can't stand them oh he's eating all the snacks right it's like enough already i'm self-control troll i'm trying yeah but it was yeah and it you know we made people i think think we did a lot more of it but we only made 60 episodes over like five years what were they paying you then oh i want to know so far i'm i'm curious it's not much is it so i think at the height of it we made 10 000 an episode or at the height 15 i i i when it became kind of i guess it lasted 60 episodes how many seasons is that four four seasons so by the fourth season you're making 10 15 grand an episode i think like the median i say in the book is like when all is said and done i think we it averages to about 15 000 an episode and i i only because it's gross to talk about money except for i think the misconception is like if you are on a show yeah that's what i want to talk about because i think people say you're making hundreds of thousands of dollars and millions of dollars you're on a show you've made it and that kind of money as much as it sounds in the 15 000 an episode does sound like a lot of money to most people but you take the taxes you're in a tax bracket you take all the agents and the managers and the commissions and you're left with about six and you're living yeah you're just living you have to live you have to pay for your apartment so at the end of the year like 4 000. yeah that money goes by quickly that's why you think how did this guy get broke right he was on the show for four years because he really wasn't making that much in la to live in l.a is is very expensive yeah so i always i'm always curious i'm always curious like how much did they make on like a kids show like that you know but and no residuals no residuals i love telling people that i don't know that's [ __ ] i think i'm like one of those weirdos who likes to tell people like someone's passed away like you know fran passed john died yeah i didn't ask you that yeah i know i know but you should know yeah and fran they died together i love telling people about no residuals and kids tv because they all have your reaction they're like how how how yeah people always think it's like oh hulu just bought smallville you must be making millions i don't think i've gotten one check really not nothing streaming they haven't figured streaming out yet i don't i don't think so dude streaming is so and i i gotta give respect to like netflix and every gigantic streamer it's the most beautifully gangster move of like a corporation we don't understand it we don't know what to pay you we don't know this is just yeah and we did you and we're not going to tell you whether you're doing good or not because that gives you leverage what do you get into in your book briefly about uh drake and josh do you get into the dark stuff at all what do you mean was there any dark stuff while you're filming that was there anything that you remember that just you know uh you saw some things that you as a kid you probably shouldn't be privy to i mean i what i really talk about uh drake and i specifically and it's really just like the way in which people marry themselves to you when they fall in love like the people fall in love with the first image they have of you and it really sets the tone for the way they're going to think about you forever like steve carrell's the man one of our greatest actors most people will think of him as michael scott forever for better or for worse because that show is so beloved right and so with drake and i like i said what meant the most to me was what this show meant to other people and because it was in reruns for free forever yeah like i'll still at 35 having not shot an episode of that for almost 20 years have new kids and families come up to me and talk about how much they love it and it's a testament to the show that it sort of had that lasting power but so no one to me had to ever know that drake and i weren't exactly close right you don't talk to him anymore at all i don't but i got married a few years ago and i didn't invite him because we're not close and he didn't like that no and he took to the internet and basically like i think he wrote an innocuous shitty tweet that then caught fire and he leaned in completely when he saw how outraged people were because they're like no you guys were just sharing a room last week like that was 11 years ago jesus and i was like so they got down on you oh crushing for a really long time since then people i think have actually you know that's hurtful it's like i didn't invite you because we never were really friends and people don't know that and it's been 12 years we don't talk my wife's irish got big family yeah i have friends i see once a month and i didn't invite them of course but you know that and i know that but like you know the twitter mob did not understand that yeah and mostly i was just outraged because i was like my wife's a private person she's not an actor and she's supposed to be in the afterglow of like this very special event and she's being [ __ ] on by 12 year olds who are like calling her yoko oh she broke up yeah crazy crazy did you ever tweet out and say [ __ ] you i didn't because i i had some really great counsel in that moment moments where i was like ripping my hair out where i'm like why am i the most famous i've ever been for the worst thing ever right in this moment like tmz never gave a [ __ ] about me but somehow they want to talk to me right now and my friends were like well what would you say and i much like i just said i'm like i tell the truth they're like so you're the bearer of bad news like you're gonna be telling the world that you guys were never close they're like you can't you won't win you're right wow i never thought about that yeah he was right wasn't he yeah they were like just shut up and they're like reasonable p reasonable people will know it and even people who are outraged now over time will be like uh actually that kind of scene yeah i didn't i didn't think about that but wow it's like people's perception of like you know when i was on a show they they they don't want to know that we were actually arch enemies you know that really you know they don't want they don't want to know that they want to think that we you know like maybe we were i don't know i don't know what people think but i think they like that we're friends we are friends we become stronger friends the opposite of you guys really yeah we've become stronger friends as the years go on um we're doing a couple projects together and that's awesome but you know but that's not for everybody there's a lot of people i've worked with that i i wouldn't invite to my [ __ ] wedding would you say it's more i mean you've worked so much and done so many cool things of all different types and huge things and indie stuff like shitty things same here we've all done shitty things um but nice house right sometimes the shitty things it's great for the house very grateful i'm doing something cool next month hey nothing beautiful look at these beautiful shore mics that we're using gorgeous yeah they're great joe rogan approved yeah exactly um but would you say like i find like that's the rare occurrence like i've maybe collected in 20 years two or three people from projects from like i love them they're a big part of my life yes everyone else nice that's the same with me yes there's a couple people that i'll talk to here and there that i like talking to but you know i don't talk to them constantly right and it's nice to catch up like for instance kristen crook who's uh lana lang on smallville sure she and i were friends i consider her a friend but how often do i see her maybe at a convention signing an autograph or you know i asked her to do my podcast and she's very sweet and she'll you know uh she'll do it she asked me to do something i would do it if she needed a favor i would do it but we don't see each other all the time but we're you know i consider her my friend yes but um you know there comes most the people that you work with are just like whether you like them or you don't like them it's just it's work it's work and you work with them enough and you really there's nothing else or you don't have anything in common or there's just you have different lives it's camp it's camera people don't people don't understand that but yeah when did you uh decide and why did you decide to lose all the weight and this is again this is in the book yes this is all in the book yes happy people are annoying happy people are annoying what you guys i i can't i can't wait to read it now i'm so glad that we got to talk because i find this really interesting this story is something that a lot of people don't know about this world and growing up with a single mom and not having the father and you know finding a spark finding something you like with stand up and then you know it takes you out to la and you somehow get your own show after being the the third waiter on the left on the amanda bind show and it's just this build up in the story that i think would make a great movie if you condensed it so i urge you guys to check that out but um thank you so when when did that time come were you like did someone tell you you need to lose weight did you think like i want to lose weight i want to look different what was it i think there you know i was 17 years old and on yet another road trip with my mom and i there was it was sort of this perfect storm which was i'd been incredibly insecure and in many ways what i find my my saving grace now when people are like oh you're pretty normal for an actor at 35 and i'm like well at the moments in where my ego could have completely got out of control i was 100 pounds overweight so constantly i was like don't get too hyped about yourself look at you and so every time i could have gone to a party or a club or something cliche i just was like i'll just stay home and alphabetize my dvd it's like that's sad yeah it's sad it really is it's a shame it was i i it is and i i just knew what there was this moment at 17 where i was like i miss some stuff like some pivotal things i can already tell and you've also probably saved yourself in a lot of ways because you could have gotten to some deep trouble you know you start going out with all these kids and partying and you see what happens no offense but like you see what happens with some of the people you've worked with and [ __ ] happens and so maybe not being around that saved you in many ways yeah i mean that would come for me a year and a half later but i right but i uh but what was a real turning point was when i was 16 i did a movie called mean creek right and it won sundance and i was playing uh uh overweight bully but it was the first time that i was playing a real person and what you come to learn in the movie is that he was this beautifully tragic character who was deeply insecure and and had learning disabilities and really just desperately wanted friends and and it's this beautiful sort of executed movie and the response was unreal and all of a sudden i'm truly you know people would always sort of there was always always a caveat to if someone gave you a compliment about drake and josh or something because they'd say oh but that's just you i mean it's literally your name right but this was like oh you're you're a character you're doing something or something right so i was like and judd apatow wasn't around then like guys who were giving non-traditional leading men great parts so i'm like i can't wait another 10 years for this like another part like this isn't coming around for a really long time and if i want to be able to really be the kind of actor i want to be i need to be able to transform and i can't do that at this size you're 17 years old and this is what you've come up with you've all these things have gone through your mind yeah and you realize i've got to make some changes in my life yeah i want to do this i want to be seriously taken i want and and i i want to do other work and i i want to stay in this business yeah and so you made the decision on your own to lose all this weight i was so sick and tired i i remember distinctly saying if i can be a movie star at 300 pounds or normal and go do a 9-5 job i'd rather be at a healthy weight and do that yeah and give it all up so that was like and i always say you know everybody wants a hack or a secret especially when it comes to losing weight because i feel like no matter who you are you're contending some in some way with food and i say you know what i can tell you is if you're truly sick and tired it's a great place to start because i never learned anything on a good day like pain is the great motivator of my life unfortunately you got to get pretty low to finally be like i can't take this anymore how hard was it to lose all that weight i mean i think i was like the first 10 year old on atkins so i had tried for years right and i would just you know i'd lose five pounds in two days and then put it right back on because like it was not sustainable right so those i remember i was i went back home to new york for the summer for two months and i just walked the city because it was like the only thing that didn't hurt and i would eat better and if i screwed up and had mr softy one day cause it's a summer in new york i wouldn't let it ruin the whole week i would just say just live to fight another day tomorrow and suddenly and i would plateau but i mean and and i'm vain so you go from 300 pounds to 260 in a summer two months people start really going like wow and then you know you drop the next 40 and the next 40 and suddenly they're like who knew like there was like was it exciting oh yeah did you like the transformation was it all just like as hard as it was did it feel like this is working this is people are seeing me differently oh yeah i do i remember i went to the i would go to the mall once i got under 200 pounds i would go to the mall and go to all the stores i dreamed of wearing their clothes like express express has men's clothing yeah i don't know that at a great rate reasonable shout out to express i think i knew that i've seen the united colors of benadon another good one so i would go to mervin's and bloomington coat factory no but again i'm seeing this in the movie i'm seeing the scene where you go to all these stores and look in there and you're just happy and you're like you know and your friend comes up to you hey i'm getting some ice cream on somebody's like no i'll have a diet coke or something and you know it's just like it's so visual but it's so it is it's got to be an exciting time in your life that you're like you're like hey i'm disciplined yeah i'm doing this and it's working yeah i thought that i had just made it like right before the buzzer like you did it like you're gonna have the chance at living life as a thin person and you because that was what i've always resisted being defined by by like that's what i hate you know i i don't hate it it is what it is now but like i hated being the kid actor the child actor because i knew that that triggered in people's brains like for every zendaya or or or jodie foster there were a thousand other kids that just you know completely nose-dived in front of the public and so i'm like i don't want to be in that class i just want to be an actor i don't want to be the fat funny guy i just want to be an actor amongst actors right um but yeah that was that was huge when i lost the weight it was it was a game changer but unfortunately i was the same head in a new body and pretty quickly i got to my goal weight and then became viciously addicted to drugs and alcohol took over the next four years of my life and how did your mom respond to that was she heartbroken she was like you always overdo it she so she knew you were doing these drugs oh yeah and she didn't she wasn't angry or upset oh yeah she was heartbroken terrified she was yeah every day for four years i don't think she slept what kind of drugs did you do i did them all cocaine oh yeah heroin i know okay right well that's good because that could have been the end of it if you got went there i did you know i mostly it was a lot of you know cocaine and and pills and pretty much whatever you had uh right when i turned 18. 18. so you finally get this new lust for life you're thinner you you want to be this actor you're excited you love the way people are looking at you differently and you [ __ ] throw it into the [ __ ] [ __ ] you just throw the whole thing down the drain by doing all these drugs and [ __ ] you're just getting you're hanging out with the wrong crowd yeah well those kids like the ones who are going to the clubs i was like oh take me i've been you know my dvds are alphabet you're getting laid at this time no i mean i wound up doing cocaine for the first time because of a girl because she was the first girl who had ever shown me any attention and i remember her pulling it out and i'm at this what not it oh oh okay okay but maybe you know i don't know we never got that far i never got that i'll be honest [Laughter] geez the book gets really weird around page 120 i'm sure it does tactic um but no i was at this party and like i think i'd smoke pot but that was the extent of it and i just remember her you know doing cocaine with like her girlfriends and i'm seeing it there i'm like oh this is like pulp fiction it's like the movies like this is a movie stars do man totally you kind of feel that you're like oh i'm in hollywood and i'm doing drugs and this is what i need to be doing not even that far it was this is what kids do like this is what typical i've been working towards typical my whole life and my whole adolescence was besieged by you have to mine your p's and q's don't say anything out of turn do you want another take boss like i'm not those other child actors like i know my lines and i'm on my mark like like louder faster like am i okay will this casting director give me a part i just want you to think i'm okay i was in this crazy people-pleasing you know storm my whole life and suddenly i'm like now looking like a normal kid and a normal teen and i'm like oh they do drugs and that's normal and they go to house parties and they go to clubs and they show up late to places and they're unreliable and that's normal and i i died to be normal and i remember the first when i fir finally said yes i had no consensus conception that this drug would make me feel any different that it was extreme all i thought was a i hope she's watching and oh good i'm normal isn't that f isn't that [ __ ] it is [ __ ] to think that that's normal like hey i need to be doing this because this is what kids do right this is what everybody's doing yeah it's it's it's crazy it's crazy i'm on party of five right now like um right i'm all those 90s movies what was the you know i'm almost done here because i could talk i could talk to you for a long time no no worries but this is uh what was the did you make the conscious effort to sort of stop doing the drugs did you was there a low point where you hit so low that you're like what am i doing oh yeah what was that moment do you remember the moment or moments it was a culmination and especially like in recovery you hear so many like you know um what's it called like white light you know utter moments of defeat that are so cinematic you're like i wish that was me but it for me it was sort of this i was ruining my relationships i was quickly becoming just like unreliable and it was just getting around quickly like pex going through something i wouldn't i wouldn't consider him um right ruin relationships with like people that really could have changed my life um some run it some running away from the police really yeah i had the proclivity for calling the police on myself because i thought there was some like incentive for being the first to notify them there is it there's not they're still pissed yeah they're still like well we got to do our job but thanks for giving thanks for calling us you [ __ ] idiot who is this kid now i'm like wow beverly hills pd like you you have quick response nice response time quick response um and then and i just broke my mom's heart on a daily basis which is corny but true but i i talk about this in the book like as i said before all i wanted to be was a real actor not a kid actor not the funny fat guy and i get this part in this movie called the wackness which was about 1994 hip-hop in new york and i was 20 years old and i'm acting against sir ben kingsley my favorite actor wow and i was like and i knew i was i was like i know nine times out of ten i'm like give it to jonah hill like he'll do a better job or like are you sure miles teller is not available because i'm pretty sure he'd crush this wow but this story this guy was like a a new york hip-hop kid a jewish kid from new york who loves hip-hop i know how to do this so the movie goes to sundance and i'm literally and i dreamed of this when i was doing mean creek i dreamed i'm like one day i'm going to be back here as a star of a movie and i'm going to look the way i want to look and there i was i was 21 and we'd do this screening and [ __ ] tarantino's there and i'm like this is it i've been invited to the table i'm eating like i am here and i just remember the next morning i my eyes start open and i go i'm getting out of here and i i booked a flight and everyone's like you nuts you have a well-received movie sundance this doesn't happen like and i i just as soon as i had finally arrived at this finish line i dreamed of i was like oh i'd never want to be part of a club that would have me as a member like this is the groucho marx quote like it just doesn't it didn't compute and what was really rough was i had this realization which was oh no you're bottomless like you tried to fill this with food then drugs and alcohol and now like prestige and none of it nothing's gonna fill the void none of it and i got sober two weeks later two weeks later yeah well i had to make sure i was right i'm sure i could drink this thought away wow and how do you feel now oh man i'm so overpaid i'm here with you yeah got a kid a wife from working you know i've been able to keep my [ __ ] together for a good good amount of time i'm i'm lucky did you ever think he could be this happy no oh no way i didn't think i just didn't think that i would ever you know a good life as a result of good living like my life mimics that of like a good man but i'm not a good man i mean maybe but like at my heart like i want to set fire to the city like deep down i just want like i say this at the end of the book and the reason why i wrote wrote it at 35 instead of maybe 55 or maybe i'd have some cooler stories was like i just want to like i want to give you a perspective of the halfway point you know and i just said like despite the fact that i work now and and my life is so great like when [ __ ] hits a fan like i think about getting a bunch of drugs and white castle hamburgers and just seeing what happens you know like that's always going to be in my head to some extent but i've done the right thing over and over enough to where it's like working out it doesn't hurt as bad yeah yeah and it even feels really good if you you know you could always say you've you've done it yeah i did that and where did that get me the drugs where did all that how did i feel and how did i feel about eating stuffing my face and eating and being overweight how did that make me feel yeah and you start to say what makes me feel good why don't i do things that make me feel good and i think we all do things that we punish ourselves yeah i think that has a lot to do with it i think i've punished myself in the past with you know maybe drinking too much or drugs or you know or just other things and ultimately you have to like we said in the beginning you have to be good to yourself you have to be like hey this is this is the life that i've been given i'm lucky i'm here yes what can i do to help other people what can i do to be a better person a better man a better and it's hard to do that yeah but i think that it's when you start doing the right things you feel so much better it's so obvious did you have moments when you really started hitting as an actor like those moments of cliche them where you were like oh like do you look back now and give you the shivers not only that but it's almost like i remember those moments where i feel like there's a camera on me as i'm doing whatever i'm doing yeah like this is what i'm like you said this is what i'm supposed to be doing i'm supposed to be doing drugs at this huge a-lister's house with other a-listers and i'm supposed to be you know partying with you know the producers on this movie and i'm supposed to be you're not supposed to be doing any of that right not supposed to be doing you know it's it's just it's this idea this idea that we have of what hollywood is and how we could fit in and you know as long as i've been here and you know i'm almost 50 it's just like uh it means nothing someone said what was it allen richton says once i got famous or i became whatever i still realize there's just there's still nothing here that's not the answer of being famous being rich that's not the answer to our lives yes it's meaning it's relationships it's connections it's what you talk about in your book right yes and um you know hopefully being content like we said you know being content going hey you know i'm i'm all right i'm good enough i don't need this other [ __ ] so other people like me more so that uh you know i feel like i fit in um but i i you've been through it and you've been through so much and i just i i really appreciate your candor and your just your generosity for being so open about all your [ __ ] well you know it's it is the weird it's the virtuous side of this thing and i i don't know you know you and i are of a similar generation when it comes to show business where like i feel like we were of the last class of people where social media wasn't a thing and where celebrity was still like mysterious right like the people i looked up to growing up they would have a movie and go on every talk show and do something like kind of buzzy and then they'd go away for a year yeah and make their next movie and so i assumed and i think mostly mostly because i wanted to erase my origin story like i want to be like can i just burn the yearbooks and start over swear everyone to secrecy right right and they're like no [ __ ] like your your your yearbooks are on reruns [Laughter] like solid that's amazing that's amazing but when i embraced my origin story when i was like willing to get vulnerable in order to hopefully be of service to someone else and be like i was there too and and if you're struggling you know i hope i can give you a little bit of a reprieve from that and show you like it's possible that was when it's it's stopped having power over me yeah that's amazing um quickly we have [ __ ] talking with josh peck these are really rapid fire i'm only going to give you a couple because we've been talking too much and you know this is this is amazing and uh you know i never like to do interviews longer than an hour uh well listen or i am you know how i feel about that so these are rapid fire quick questions uh these are for my patrons if you join patreons.com inside you these are people who support the show in many ways and i love you guys and these are for you what's your tiers what do you get if you like what what's the highest tier do we get well you'll have to look at it special incentives packages for me every couple of months you know you get like a box full of cool [ __ ] i love it there's each other oh yeah there's uh there's their stuff i'm signing up all right sign up good all right here we go really quick maddie asks enjoying your character on how i met your father and you and hillary have great chemistry can you share any fond memories you have working on the show oh man hillary's just dreamy as hell we actually made a movie together about 15 years ago when i was in my drug days and it was this little indie that not a lot of people have seen and then 15 years later when we saw each other on set i was like i don't know if she remembers that i was in that and then a couple episodes in i'm like hey remember we made that movie together and she was like oh yeah and i was like good she doesn't remember because so hollywood i was not memorable at that time that was not me i was like in the shadows like grinding my teeth chelsea see if you had the chance to work with someone other than ben kingsley because that was like a lifetime change change of a lifetime chance of a lifetime what am i trying to say you [ __ ] with ben kingsley is that the first time anyone's ever said that sentence but she didn't she didn't say that ben's king i threw that in there okay yeah i see that if you had the chance to work with someone you look up to most in hollywood who would it be oh man the rock obviously really i just look up to him in general as a human i'm like how are your instagram captioned so long how's his arms so big yeah i just want to do a workout with him christ uh ryan do you have anything i mean you're the same generation as josh no yeah how do you feel about her generation um give me a little more are is social media screwing us up too much probably but we're awesome i i think the corniest thing is taking shot like it's become trendy to take shots at like millennials or zoomers i was doing a podcast the other day and this woman said to me like so you do social media and stuff like what about these kids the demelios and all these people on tick tock that are making all this money like what did they even do and i was like i don't i don't want to go there i'm like because i don't want to be that [ __ ] old dude who doesn't get it right like i'm like they obviously have something that has has gotten them an insane audience and i have respect for it even if i don't quite get it because i'm they're doing this for me they're doing their thing they're making money they're doing you don't have to watch it you don't have to listen to it no right i i hear you i could be the old bastard too i could do the old bastard thing i think we all can um somebody wrote a great meme for the super bowl show which was you know dre and all this like great 90s hip-hop and people were like if you are hyped about this show it's time for your colonoscopy i was so hyped for that show i loved it i thought it was the best because it was a throwback it was my generation it felt good it was the best ever um happy people are annoying get the book uh how i met your father was on hulu you could watch that anything else coming up um no i have this movie called 13 coming out on netflix sometime this year awesome and what's your handle uh at schuap on instagram you're gonna follow me i'll follow you hey really yeah let's follow each other let's do it in front of each other so you know i think we should do that i'll do it right now thanks for allowing me to be inside you this was a joy dude thank you it really was thanks man man drugs drugs will [ __ ] you up man drugs [ __ ] drugs will [ __ ] you up man [ __ ] you know it's you either get through it or it just crushes you and he got through it there's only two ways yeah you either get through it or you don't yep right there's no kind of i mean there's the in and out but uh you know the up and downs sort of in drugs added drugs but if you're in drugs and attitudes you never really added drugs drugs are bad okay drugs are really lousy i mean not all drugs i don't think uh marijuana is necessarily a bad drug no i think it could help a lot of people i think it does it helps glaucoma yeah it helps with uh cancer patients yeah it helps with my sleeping great this whole podcast could just be listing things that marijuana does good for yes absolutely thanks for listening again thanks for following us at inside of your pod on twitter at inciti podcast on instagram and facebook please write our view on spotify or apple it means a lot it really helps the podcast and uh i appreciate it even if you don't know the guest and you listen to it or if you're here for josh pack maybe next week you'll enjoy the podcast as well you might learn something so don't just watch for josh peck we hope you stay with us and everybody out there who's a listener uh tell your uncle tell your friends get them to subscribe tell your uncles for insight take it tell your uncle's friends for god's sakes i don't know i don't know what you want to do and also uh again the inside of you online store go there get great stuff um also a big thanks to all my patrons again and uh this is one of the perks for the top patrons you can go to patreon.com inside you and i get to read off their names so i think we can get into that right now sweet let's do it these are the top patrons here we go nancy d leah s sarah v little lisa yukiko jill e brian h nico p robert b jason w kristen k amelia o allison l raj c joshua d c j p jennifer n stacy l gen s jamal f janelle b correct roger s kimberly e mike e aldon soprano 99 more ramirez santiago uh chad w santiago m chad w leon p janine r maya b that's correct maddie s belinda n chris h dave h spiderman chase sheila g brad d ray h i didn't use my my glasses that are a little stronger so it's hard in these glasses to see spider-man chase sheila g brad d ray h congratulations ray i won't say why but thank you tab of the t tom and liliana um hello l a hey michelle okay correct talia m betsy d chad r chad l rochelle marion mckay travel dan n big scooby-dooby big stevie w sorry yeah you're not boring stevie big steven w angel m rhiannon c corey k super sam coleman g dev nixon michelle a jeremy c cody r gavinator david c john b brandy l d d yeah four yvore uh camille s the c joey m willie f christina e adelaide and omar j lena ann eugene and eugene and what and leah oh yeah chris p corey patricia heather l jake b getting to the bottom here but really the top you guys are at the bottom james b bobbitt ed a bowl it's a bowl right a bowl f yeah a bowl yeah yeah i hope so yeah i mean he keeps you know i have no idea i think it's i'm gonna say thanks abel f and here's another one thanks ebola f keep them both yeah keep them both joshua b tony g sean r megan t mel s orlando c annie john b caroline r darren b and rob e we uh we love you we appreciate you and uh thanks for listening to the podcast stay with us every week please um i hope you enjoy it be very good to yourselves it's very important to be good good to yourselves give yourself a break uh ryan from myself we're here in the hollywood california yeah yeah i'm michael rosen i'm ryan taylor and a little wave to the camera good night we love you guys thank you for thank you again for joining us and uh we'll see you next week [Music]

Channel: Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum

Views: 192,236

Keywords: inside of you, iou, inside of you podcast, michael rosenbaum, michael rosenbaum podcast, smallville, smallville podcast, celebrity podcast, mental health podcast, Josh Peck, Josh Peck podcast, Josh Peck interview, Josh Peck Inside of You, Josh Peck rosenbaum, josh peck mukbang, josh peck singing, josh peck david dobrik, josh peck responds to drake bell, josh peck drake bell, drake and josh today, josh peck breaks down, josh peck glow up, josh peck today, josh peck icarly

Id: Ve5QS9GiTxc

Length: 87min 41sec (5261 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 15 2022