Jordan Peterson: Men who marry witchy women

and then with regards to your partner here's something to think about with regards to role so my wife and I have had this discussion many times and one of the discussions is well how are we to treat each other in public and it isn't her name is Tammy the discussion isn't how should Jordon treat Tammy in public or how should Tammy treat Jordan that's not the discussion this isn't personal it's how should a wife treat her husband and how should a husband treat his wife it's impersonal and it's partly you don't put your partner down in public why well it's not because you're hurting that person's feelings that's not why it's that you're denigrating the relationship that you are in voluntarily you know I've some of the most painful days I've ever spent one in particular I spent with a group of men who had been in therapy for their marriage and who bloody well needed it I can tell you that and they spent their whole day complaining about their wives like it just made me sweat the whole day I thought I can't believe I'm here with you guys I can't tell you why I was it's just you know it was just happenstance more than anything and I thought how can you be so damn dumb it's like it's certainly possible that you marriage barbaric married barbarian witches fine but you don't have you're so lacking in sense that you would discuss that in public not noticing that you picked them so basically all you're doing is holding up a sign and waving it constantly that says I'm an idiot I'm an idiot right and so well back to responsibility you have a responsibility to those whom you love and are obligated to to ensure that they manifest themselves in a manner that's most beneficial to them over the long run now you have the same responsibilities I would say to yourself but you'll have blind spots other people have to help you with that but so the rule is you know you don't let you don't you help your wife figure out how not to make a fool of herself in public and she extends to you the same courtesy and it's partly maintenance of the sacred nature of the relationship it has nothing to do with you or her precisely it's broader and wider than that okay so then that's two levels of responsibility child partner next level of responsibility you're asked at your workplace to go undergo unconscious bias retraining and you say yes it's like okay you've just admitted that you're a bigot right because you're acting it out it's like I'm a racist bigot obviously I need to be retrained and so you might say well I'm not going to make a fuss about it right or I've been told to do it for hour maybe you agree with it fine and if that if you agree with it no problem you can make a case for it I think it's a weak and appalling case personally but you can make a case for it you could say well you know why I'm interested in my biases and how to rectify them and like fair enough you know people are biased but if you object to it and you don't say anything then you're complicit and then it's on you and you know like a causes B and C and B causes C and D and so forth the thing tends does noise but it has this tendency to expand and you'll come home angry and upset and you'll go to the training program and you'll think this is ridiculous because that is what you'll think in all likelihood and you won't say anything but it eats at you well you've abrogated your responsibilities and so and then you might say well so then then that's how the community becomes corrupt that's how the community starts to be corrupt is that people turn a blind eye to emergent pathology when they know it's pathological that's exactly what the Egyptian story says Osiris is overcome by Seth because he's willfully blind willfully blind which means he knows but refuses to he knows quote his predator detection systems have gone off monster well then you're supposed to look okay exactly what sort of monster is this well it doesn't have wings it doesn't have a tail you know you cut it down into the you cut it from the monster that it could be into the monster that it is that's the first step and then you take the appropriate steps and then you also notice the other monsters because here's something to think about you're gonna pay a price for speaking up but you're gonna pay a price for not speaking up so it's like monsters on the right monsters on the left pick the ones you want to battle with if you decide not to make your stand you weaken yourself if you do it a hundred times then even if the monster was only this big now you're this big it's gonna eat you you know when it was this big you probably could have kicked it across the room it's too late for that you've capitulated and capitulated you know and so what what you've done and this is a way to think about it from a union perspective this is what Jung was trying to get out when he was talking about LK alchemy it's like the thing that pops up to object to you is this incredibly complex entity it's it's the entire world encapsulated in the event if you interact with it you unpack it you differentiate your sense of the world and you and you you gather new skills let's say we're having a conversation and it's flowing melodically and all of a sudden I say something and there's a disjunction right you're offended by it there's some negative emotion that comes up or or or or you know maybe I've said something to impress you or to be arrogant and you respond badly it's like you've got this melodic thing going on it's a consensual frame and something pokes itself up to put a disjunction in the conversation it's like well that's where the information is it's like something went wrong something didn't work out I'm not looking at the world properly or I don't know you well enough or as well as I thought there's something there and if I have any sense I'm gonna focus my attention on that like not obsessively or anything like that but that's where all the information is because as long as what we're doing is working then we both know enough already as soon as what we're doing together isn't working then that's instant evidence that there's something about us that needs to be updated and you might think well that's a terrible thing and the answer is yes of course it is it's a terrible thing but it's also the thing and this is the next stage of the development of this let's call it universal morality it's like the universal morality might be found in the sir to the question what should you do when you make a mistake now one answer is catastrophic dissolution that's that's a collapse into chaos well that's no one is going to pick that voluntarily let's put it that way that's unbelievably unpleasant terribly anxiety-provoking shameful and painful all at the same time worse it can mean the absence of positive emotion because if you really collapse into chaos not only are you overwhelmed by negative emotion but the positive emotion system shut off and that's what happens to someone who's extraordinarily depressed and also hyper anxious at the same time not only are they suffering from an excess of negative emotion but they've got no incentive movement forward whatsoever okay so that's not an optimal solution because it takes you out the other possible and so I would call that a nihilistic solution or a chaotic solution it's not a solution it's a dissolution and you could think about it as a precursor to a potential solution but it's very easy to get stuck there and that's why jonah could have stayed in the belly of the whale along with all the other people that were eaten by the whale and never got back out and you see people like that all the time their error has come along blown out their frames of reference they've collapsed into the underworld into the chaotic underworld and they don't know how to get out they have post-traumatic stress disorder or they're depressed or they're hyper anxious or or they're they're resentful and aggressive and and destructive like there's any number of states of being that can overwhelm you when the bottom has fallen out of your life so it isn't something that people are going to it's not an optimal solution let's put it that way well the the other that's a nihilistic solution this collapse the other solution is we're talking and I don't get what I want from you and so I say you'd better not do that again I don't want to see that from you again and that's a tyrannical attitude right what I'm going to do is I'm going to take my universe of order and its predictions and I'm going to say you along with this or I'm gonna punish you and that's that's a no there is a an element in society like society is made up of threats like that to some degree it's an erratic label in errata Keable part of society that would be the tyrannical aspect of the Greek King let's say you know we've organized a set of punishments and threats that keep each of us in alignment however generally speaking in a society that's functional we've decided to adopt agreement with that set of principles more or less voluntarily you know we say well you have rights and responsibilities and I have rights and responsibilities and I'm willing to pay a price for yours including the acceptance of punishment if I transgress but you're going to do the same for me so there are there are intelligent ways that punishment and threat can be used and bounded so but if that could easily degenerate into tyranny and one of the methods that I can choose to use if I don't want to encounter error is just to enforce my will on everyone else and I think when that happens personally and in the family and in the community and in the state all at the same time then you get the emergence of a tyranny

Channel: Essential Truth

Views: 1,040,539

Rating: 4.7919159 out of 5

Keywords: Jordan B Peterson, Jordan Peterson, Essential Truth, bite-sized philosophy, advice for men, witchy women, manofallcreation, Psyche Matters, Ramble, Intense 5, PowerfulJRE, JRE clips, Mulliganbrothers, Dose of Truth, Clash of Ideas, marriage, dating advice, women and men

Id: apxU8Ow99-8

Length: 10min 7sec (607 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 16 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/nocaptain11]

Great clip. No clue where you came up with that title, though.