Jordan Peterson LIFE CHANGING Speech 2024|| Motivation Mindset Success

who it is that you're trying to be right and you you you aim at that and then you use everything you learn as a means of building that person that you want to be and and I really mean want to be I don't mean should be even those things those things are going to overlap and it's important to distinguish between those because that's partly and this is back down to the micro routine analysis so I I saying well you're going to try to make yourself more industrious okay number one specify your damn goals cuz how are you going to hit something if you don't know what it is that isn't going to happen and often people won't specify their goals too because they don't like to specify conditions for failure so if you keep yourself all vague and foggy which is real easy because that's just a matter of not doing as well then you don't know when you fail and people might say well I really don't want to know when I fail because that's painful so I'll I'll keep myself blind about when I fail that's fine except you'll fail all the time then you just won't know it until you failed so badly that you're done and that can easily happen by the time you're 40 so so I would recommend that you don't let that happen so that's willful blindness right you could have known but you chose not to okay so once you get your goal structure set up you think okay if I could have this life looks like that might be worth living despite the fact that it's going to be you know anxiety provoking and threatening and there's going to be some suffering and loss involved and all of that obviously the goal is to to have a vision for your life such that all things considered that justifies your effort okay so then what do you do well then then you turn down to the micro routines it's like okay well this is what I'm aiming for how does that instantiate itself dayto day week to week month to month and that's where something like a schedule can be unbelievably useful Google Calendar it's like make a damn schedule and stick to it okay so what's the rule with the schedule it's not a bloody prison that's the first thing that people do wrong they say well I don't like to have follow a schedule it's like well what kind of schedule are you setting up well I I have to do this then I have to do this then I have to do this you know and then I just go play video games because who wants to do all these things that I have to do it's like wrong set the damn schedule up so that you have the day you want that's the trick it's like okay I've got tomorrow if I was going to set it up so it was the best possible day I could have practically speaking what would it look like well then you schedule that and obviously there's a bit of responsibility that's going to go along with that because if you have any sense one of the things that you're going to insist upon is that at the end of the day you're not in worse shape than you were that than at the beginning of the day right cuz that's a stupid day if you have a bunch of those in a row you just dig you know you dig yourself a hole and then you burry yourself in it it's like sorry that's just not a good strategy it's a bad strategy so maybe 20% of your day has to be responsibility and obligation or maybe it's more than that depending on how far behind you are but even that you can you can ask yourself okay well I've got these responsibilities I have to SC schedule the damn things in what's the right ratio of responsibility to reward and you can ask yourself that just like you'd negotiate with someone who is working for you it's like okay you got to work tomorrow okay so I want you to work tomorrow and you might say okay well what are you going to do for me that makes it likely that I'll work for you well you could ask yourself that you know so maybe you do an hour of of responsibility and then you play a video game for 15 minutes I don't know whatever turns your crank man but you know you have to negotiate with your your and not tyrannize yourself like you're negotiating with someone that you care for that you would like to be productive and have a good life and and that's how you make the schedule it's like and then you look at the day and you think well if I had that day that'd be good great you know and you you're useless and horrible so you'll probably only hit it with about 70% accuracy but that beats the hell out of zero right and if you hit it even with 50% accuracy another rule is well aim for 51% the next week or 50 and a half per for God's sake or because you're you're going to hit that position where things start to loop back positively and spiral you upward and so so that's one way that you can work on your conscientiousness is a plan a life you'd like to have and and you do that partly by referring to social norms that's more or less rescuing your father from the belly of the whale but the way other way you do that is by having a little conversation with yourself about as as if you don't really know who you are because you know what what you're like you won't do what you're told you won't do what you tell yourself to do you must have noticed that it's like you're a bad employee and a worst boss and both of those work you know for you you don't know what you want to do and then when you tell yourself what to do you don't do it anyways you should fire yourself and find someone else to be but but you know my point is is that you have to understand that you're not your own servant so to speak you're someone that you have to negotiate with and that's and you're someone that you want to present the opportunity of having a good life too and that's hard for people cuz they don't like themselves very much so you know they're always like cracking the Whip and then procrastinating and cracking the Whip and then procrastinating and it's like God it's so boring and it's such a pathetic way of spending your time and you know what that's like cuz you probably waste like 6 hours a day and I think we did an economic calculation about that a while back right your time's probably worth 50 bucks an hour something like that I mean you're not getting paid that now but you're young and so this is invest time and what you do now is going to multiply its effects in the future so so let's say it's 50 bucks an hour which is perfectly reasonable so if you waste 6 hours a day and you are then you're wasting about $2,000 a week or about $100,000 a year so like go ahead but that's what it's costing you every hour and you need to know what your damn time is worth so let's say it's not 50 bucks it's 30 whatever maybe it's 100 it's somewhere in that range one of the things you should be asking yourself is when you spend an hour was that well would have I paid someone 50 bucks to have had that hour and if the answer is no it's like well maybe you should do something else with your time and it depends on whether or not you think that your time's worthwhile but the funny thing about not assuming that is if you assume your time isn't worthwhile what happens is you don't just sit around sort of randomly in a state of responsibilist bliss what you do is you suffer existentially and so that seems like a stupid solution you know if you take people and I've told you this and you expose them voluntarily to things that they are avoiding and are afraid of you know that they know they need to overcome in order to meet their goals their self-defined goals if you can teach people to stand up in the face of the things they're afraid of they get stronger and you don't know what the upper limits to that are because you might ask yourself like if for 10 years if you didn't avoid doing what you knew you needed to do by the def by your own definitions right within the value structure that you've created to the degree that you've done that what would you be like well you know there are remarkable people who come into the world from time to time and there are people who do find out over decades long periods what they could be like if they were who they were if they said if they spoke their being forward and they get stronger and stronger and stronger and we don't know the limits to that we do not know the limits to that and so you could say well in part perhaps the reason that you're suffering unbearably can be left at your feet because you're not everything you could and you know it and of course that's a terrible thing to admit and it's a terrible thing to consider but there's real promise in it right because it means that perhaps there's another way that you could look at the world and another way that you could act in the world so what it would reflect back to you would be much better than what it reflects back to you now and then the second part of that is well imagine that many people did that because we've done a lot as human beings we've done a lot of remarkable things and I've told you already I think before today for example about 250,000 people will be lifted out of abject poverty and about 300,000 people attached to the electrical power grid we're making people we're lifting people out of poverty collectively at a faster rate that's ever occurred in the history of humankind by a huge margin and that's been going on unbelievably quickly since the year 2000 the UN had planned to have poverty between 200 2015 and it was accomplished by 2013 so there's inequality devel in in many places and you hear lots of political agitation about that but overall the The Tide Is Lifting everyone up and that's a great thing and we have no idea how fast we could multiply that if people got their act together and really aimed at it because you know my my experience is with people that we're probably running at about 51% of our capacity something I mean you can think about this yourselves I often ask undergraduates how many hours a day you waste or how many hours a week you waste and the classic answer answer is something like 4 to 6 hours a day you know inefficient studying watching things on YouTube that not only do you not want to watch that you don't even care about that make you feel horrible about watching after you're done that's probably 4 hours right there you know you think well that's 20 25 hours a week it's 100 hours a month that's two and a half full work weeks it's half a year of work weeks per year and if your time is worth $20 an hour which is a radical underestimate it's probably more like 50 if you think about it in terms of deferred wages if you're wasting 20 hours a week you're wasting $50,000 a year and you are doing that right now and it's because you're young wasting $50,000 a year is a way bigger catastrophe than it would be for me to waste it because I'm not going to last nearly as long and so if your life isn't everything it could be you could ask yourself well what would happen if you just stopped wasting the opportunities that are in front of you You' be who knows how much more efficient 10 times more efficient 20 times more efficient that's the Pito distribution you have no idea how efficient efficient people get it's completely it's off the charts well and if we all got our act together collectively and stop making things worse because that's another thing people do all the time not only do they not do what they should to make things better they actively attempt to make things worse because they're spiteful or resentful or arrogant or deceitful or or homicidal or genocidal or all of those things all bundled together in an absolutely pathological package if people stopped really really trying just to make things worse we have no idea how much better they would get just because of that so there's this weird dynamic that's part of the existential system of ideas between human vulnerability social judgment both of which are are are are major causes of suffering and the failure of individuals to adopt the responsibility that they know they should adopt and that's the thing that's interesting too is that and like one of the another thing I've often asked my undergraduate classes is you know there's this idea that that people have that people have a conscience and you know what the conscience is it's it's this feeling or voice you have in your head just before you do something that you know is stupid telling you that probably you shouldn't do that stupid thing you don't have to listen to it strangely enough but you go ahead and do it anyways and then of course exactly what the conscience told you was going to happen inevitably happened so that you feel even stupider about it than you would if it happened by accident because you you know I knew this was going to happen I got a warning it was going to happen and I went and did it anyways and the funny thing too is that that conscience operates within people and we really don't understand what the hell that is so you might say well what would happen if you abided by your conscience for 5 years or for 10 years what sort of position might you be in what sort of family might you have what sort of relationship might you be able to forge and you can be bloody sure that a relationship that's forged on the basis of who you actually are is going to be a lot stronger and more welcome than one that's forged on the basis of who you aren't now of course that means that the person you're with has to deal with the full force of you in all your ability and your catastrophe and that's a very very difficult thing to negotiate but if you do negotiate it well at least you you have something you have somewhere solid to stand and you have somewhere to live you have a real life and it's a great basis upon which to bring children into the world for example because you can have an actual relationship with them instead of torturing them half to death which is what happens in a tremendous a tremendously large minority of cases well it's more than that too because and this is what I'll close with and this is why I wanted to introduce social niton writings to you you see because it isn't merely that your fate depends on whether or not you get your act together and to what degree you decide that you're going to live out your own genuine being it isn't only your fate it's the fate of everyone that you're networked with and so you know you think well there's 9 billion 7 billion people in the world we're going to Peak at about 9 billion by the way and then it'll decline rapidly but 7 billion people in the world and who are you you're just one little dust moat among that 7 billion and so it really doesn't matter what you do or don't do but that's simply not the case it's the wrong model because you're at the center of a network you're a node in a network of course that's even more true now that we have social media you'll you you'll know a thousand people at least over the course of your life and they'll know a thousand people each and that puts you one person away from a million and two persons away from a billion and so that's how you're connected and the things you do they're like dropping a stone in a pond the ripples move outward and they affect things in ways that you can fully comprehend and it means that the things that you do and that you don't do are far more important than you think and so if you act that way of course the terror of realizing that is that it actually starts to matter what you do and you might say well that's better than living a meaningless existence it's better for it to matter but I mean if you really asked yourself would you be so sure if you had the choice I can live with no responsibility whatsoever the price I pay is that nothing matters or I can ver it and everything matters but I have to take the responsibility that's associated with that it's not so obvious to me that people would take the meaningful path you know when you say well nihilists suffer dreadfully because there's no meaning in their life and they still suffer yeah but the advantage is they have no responsibility so that's the payoff and I actually think that's the motivation say well I can't help being nihilistic all my belief systems have collapsed it's like yeah maybe maybe you've just allowed them to collapse because it's hell of a lot easier than acting them out and the the price you pay is some meaningless suffering but you can always whine about that and people will feel sorry for you and you have the option of taking the pathway of the Martyr so that's a pretty good deal All Things Considered especially when the when the alternative is to Bear your burden properly and to live forthrightly in the world well with soit and figured out and so many people in the 20th century it's not just him even though he's the best example is that if you live a pathological life you pathologize your society and if enough people do that then it's hell really really and you can read the gulag archipelago if you have the fort fortitude to do that and you'll see exactly what hell is like and then you can decide if that's a place you'd like to visit or even more importantly if it's a light if it's a place you'd like to visit and take all your family and friends because that's what happened in the 20th century how to think about motivation we'll think about it from the hypothalamic perspective so we could say one thing that motivation does is set goals we could say that emotions track progress towards goals and I'm going to use that schema even though it's not exactly right so you say well motivation determines where you're going to aim so if you're hungry you're going to aim at something to eat and then that will organize your perceptions so that you zero out everything that isn't relevant to that task which is almost everything you concentrate on those few things that are going to facilitate your movement forward when you encounter those things that produces positive emotion as you you move through the world towards your goal and you see that things are laying themselves out that facilitate your movement forward those things cause positive emotion and if you encounter anything that gets in the way then that produces negative emotion and it can be like threat cuz you're not supposed to encounter something that gets in the way it can be anger so that you move it away it can be frustration disappointment grief those would if if you had a response that serious to an obstacle it would probably punish the little motivated frame right out of existence you know so you walk downstairs and I don't know the contracting company has set a wrecking ball through your kitchen it's like that's going to be disappointing you're not going to keep eating the peanut butter sandwich in the rubble that little frame is going to get punished out of existence and some new goal is going to pop up instead and you know one of the things we're going to try to sort out is how do you decide when you've encountered an obstacle that's so big that you should just quit and go do something else cuz that's not obvious you know and you can you can get into counterproductive persistence pretty easily so we we don't know how people solve that problem it's a really complicated one so anyways we're going to work on that scenario your hypothalamus pops up micro goals that are directly relevant to biological survival that produces a frame of reference so it's not a goal it's not a drive and it's not a collection of behaviors it's a little personality and the personality has a Viewpoint it has thoughts that go along with it it has perceptions it has action tenden icies all of that you can see this in addiction most particularly so one of the things that you find often with people who are alcoholic is they lie all the time and that's because when they're they've built a little alcohol dependent personality inside of themselves or a big one it might maybe it's 90% of their personality and one of that one of the things that compo consists of is all the rationalizations that they've used over the years to justify their addiction to themselves and other people and so the addiction has a personality you know and so when the person is off or maybe they're addicted to meth or something like that where we know the addiction is more it's it's it's more short-term powerful that I would say than an alcohol addiction they'll say anything and the the the the words are just tools used to get towards the goal and if they happen to be deceptive whatever it doesn't matter they're just practical tools to get towards the goal and then when you get towards the goal and you take a nice shot of math or something like that you reinforce all those rationals that you use to get the drug and then the next time you're even a better deceiver and liar so okay so we're going to say motivations one way of thinking about is they set goals but it's not the right way of thinking about it they produce a whole framework of interpretation and so we're going to think about that framework of interpretation and then emotions emerge inside of that so that's a so the world is framed motivation set goals you could say the world has to be framed so motivation sets that frame Cruise goals emotions perceptions and actions and then actions track progress so positive emotion says you're moving forward properly towards your goal and if you encounter something you don't expect you stop that's anxiety it's like oh we're not where we thought we were and so we don't know what to do so we should stop because we don't know where we are what we're doing stop Frozen and then the more powerful negative emotions like pain they might make you get out of there so emotions for forward stop reverse that's your emotions within that motivated frame so and that's another example of how your mind is embedded in your body your know motions are like they're they're offshoots of action Tendencies that's that's the right way to think about it because action is everything fundamentally so what are some basic motivations U most of these are regulated by the hypothalamus by the way and that that tells you just how important a control system it is the other thing that's useful to know about the hypothalamus is that it has projections going up from it that are like Tree Trunks and inhibitory projections coming down that are like grape Vines so you can kind of control your hypothalamus as long as it's not on too much but if it's on in any serious way it's like it it wins so partly what you do to stop yourself from falling under the Dominion of your hypothalamus is to never ever be anywhere where its action is necessary right you don't want to go into a biker bar because you might find yourself in a situation where panicked defensive aggression is immediately necessary you probably don't want that you don't want the Panic you don't want the terror you don't want the frenzied fight you don't want any of that you don't want to have to run away in absolute Panic so you just don't go there and and a huge a huge part of how we regulate our emotions is just by never going anywhere where we have to experience them and so that has very little to do with internal inhibitory control and everything to do with staying where you belong the myth of mental illness by Thomas SZ szz it's classic you should read it if you're interested in Psychology read it like it's it's a classic and he basically said most people have problems in living they don't have psychological problems and so I've experienced despite my love for the psychoanalysts very frequently what I'm doing as a therapist is helping people have a life that would work you know and you can parameterize that it's like what do you need how about some friends that you feel kind of like that how about an intimate relationship with someone that you can trust that maybe has a future that'd be good how about a career that puts you in a dominance hierarchy somewhere so at least you've got some possibility of rising some possibility of stabilizing yourself and a schedule and a routine because no one can live without a routine you just forget that if you you guys don't have a routine I would recommend like you get one going because you cannot be mentally healthy without a routine you need to pick a time to get up whatever time you want but pick one and stick to it cuz otherwise you disregulated your circadian rhythms and they regulate your mood and eat something in the morning I've had lots of clients who've had anxiety disorders I had one client who was literally starving very smart girl she there's very little that she liked she kind of tried to subsist on like half a cup of rice a day she came to me and said I have no energy I come home all I want to do is watch the same movie over and over what like is that weird and I thought well it depends on how hard you work you know it's little weird but whatever it's familiar you're looking for comfort so I did an analysis of her diet it's like 3/4 of a cup of rice it's like you're starving eat something you know you'll feel better so she modified her diet and all her anxiety went away and she had some energy it's like yeah you got to eat so a schedule that's a good thing man your brain will thank you for it it will stabilize your nervous system with a bit of a plan that's a good thing you need a career you need something productive to do with your time you need to regulate your use of drug and alcohol most particularly alcohol cuz that does in a lot of people um you need a family like the family you have your parents and all that be nice if you all got along you could work on that that's a good thing to work on and then you know you probably need children at some point that's life that's what life is and if you're missing you know you may have a good reason to not be operating on one of those Dimensions it's not man atory but I can tell you that if you're not operating reasonably well on four I think I mentioned six if you're not operating reasonably well on at least three of them there's no way you're going to be psychologically thriving and that's more pragmatic in some sense than psychological right human beings have a nature there's things we need and if we have them well that's good and if we don't have them well then we feel the lack and so behaviorist behavioral psychologists concentrate a lot more on that sort of thing you know it's practical it's like strategizing make a career plan figure out how to negotiate cuz that's bloody important figure out how to say what you need figure out how to tell the truth to people figure out how to listen to your partner in particular because if you listen to them they will actually tell you what they want and sometimes you can give it to them and maybe they'll return the favor and if you practice that for like 15 years well then maybe you're constantly giving each other what you want well hooray that would be good and then there's two of you under both circumstances and it's better to have two brains than one because people think differently because of their temperament mostly and so the negotiation is where the wisdom arises and it's part of the transformation the psychological transformation that's attendant on an intimate relationship and one of the fundamental purposes of a long-term intimate relationship

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Id: 77cdOsJnoos

Length: 26min 3sec (1563 seconds)

Published: Sat May 25 2024