Jono Lancaster on How to Accept Yourself, Your Life and Your Reality | Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place

there he is hi friend how are you doing jono i'm really really good and i'm so glad that at last we've managed to do this because it's been a long time coming i've been following you on instagram and loving loving all your videos and it's it's given me so much to think about this week and i've actually been asking a lot my friends on text what do you love about yourself and it's i mean my friends have been sort of found excruciating and near impossible like one of my friends said i don't think i have got anything why do you think we're so bad at this jono i see you've just hit the nail on the edge like a moment ago when people try and go e a like and they always try and get that liking first and you're like no what do you love about yourself yeah and again i don't know if it's um we again we want to be modest and we don't want to boast about things that we love about ourselves and people may think that we're we're arrogant or something like that but um i don't know it's it's so easy to find those negatives and especially in the current situation um and it's just something that we're never asked we never talk about and over the years as children we don't think about those things do we so um yeah it's just not part of our makeup to think about things that we love about ourselves so we definitely need to change that we do and i love that you're doing your daily videos every day for a year of one thing that you love about yourself every day it's it's been a really wonderful thing for everybody in your community to take part in and real food for thought and i've just seen a couple of comments like someone just said what if you don't love anything about yourself oh you do that i mean that's just it's how a lot of people feel though and i've felt like that about myself at points in my life what and i know that this hasn't been how you felt for your whole life jono i know that there's been moments in your life where you really haven't loved yourself how did you make that switch how did you find that thing within you that allowed you to cultivate positivity and self-love and say out loud i love this about myself what helped you with that change then i spent a good part of my life hating everything about myself and it started off with my face i have treacher collins which has affect affected my appearance and i i hated my eyes i hated the fact that i'd looked different i hated the fact that people stared at me and he just manifested into so many other aspects of my life and i hated my birth situation i hated i ate i even hated my friends because they had a face that i wanted i i wanted a face like yours i wanted those that just a regular normal face and it just manifested into so much more hating the world hating everybody in it and it took over my world and it wasn't up until in my twenties that i started to have a changing mindset and after a lot of trial and error um and i i did make a lot of mistakes but we we all do and that's part of learning it's part of growth it's part of healing um and now i i've done this daily routine where i've tried to make it a daily practice and it is challenging and normally i just check in every now and again with myself what do i love about myself but doing it daily is on another level and um yeah it's got me thinking even deeper and digging even deeper which is just brilliant so yeah and you can do like silly things as well but you can also dig really deeper for like the bigger things but i think that's what you've done over the last sort of few weeks that you've been doing this challenge because it is i think we should all start doing this i think it's a really positive thing for everybody even if you leave a comment on jono's page everybody watching and say the thing you love about yourself brilliant that's all part of the community activity or in a little notepad i've always got millions of notepads lying around wherever i am it's a nice challenge to every day write down one thing and often we're so tied into our back story like again i've seen so many people just now and it's it's so heartbreaking saying i hate myself i hate myself too and it's it's because we're so tied into our back story whether we believe we've made mistakes we all have everybody on planet earth has made mistakes whether it's because we didn't reach a goal we thought that we should or or whatever it is we don't fit into what we think we should be doing in life that we create this story that then allows us to really sink into self-hatred it's so easy to do you know i've had it probably more recently um in my adult life around parenting feeling like i'm not getting this right you know i i got cross there and you can really go into self-hatred so easily what would you say is the best way to get out of being so tied to a back story and all the negative thoughts that you have just going around your head so my mindset was i i ain't no expert and i'm i kind of just do me and i share and people share the things i've worked for them and that is brilliant but i got into this routine where anything bad happened in my life i would say it's because of my face i wouldn't be in this situation if if i had a regular face um i wouldn't have made that bad judgment or that poor decision if it was because of my faith so i did have to take responsible for my own thoughts and my own actions no well that was just a poor decision that was just something that was just bad lucks in other circumstances um and then as i've got older um it kind of happened by chance so i was 21 years old and i've just been in this journey from hiding away to started a living a little bit and 21 years old i got a job in a gym i had a massive obsession with with trainers and i hated mirrors i was so i hated looking at my reflection and i as a child as a teenager i would have a horrible day and i would sit in my bedroom we'd have this in my mom's room we'd have this big massive wardrobe with a mirror in the center and every day i got home from school i go from football training shopping with my mom i would look bang on in front of this mirror and i would just push my eyes up and i would just stare in this mirror and i just used to cry with so much anger and so much pain because i wanted to change my fence that was the answer to to everything um as i got older and i couldn't change my face um i i hid that mirror i i avoided all mirrors i avoided windows i i looked at the floor hud up um i've shared some dodgy photos but then i used to give myself a dodgy bud bunched up bowl cut wow he's trying to hide my face with my fringe and i did i hated my face and i hated reminders of that i looked different and that carried on up until my twenties and then i got a job in a gym um surrounded by mirrors and honestly i used to go to work every day avoiding mirrors and they were just so bizarre and i ended up teaching classes and i'm trying to give demonstrations and i spent so much time looking at my trainers or looking at my butt and because i didn't want to look at my face and then one day at 10 o'clock at night i'm putting all the weights away at the gym all the big boy weights 40 kg dumbbells that they're just left around skinny old jonathan's trying to put these weights away and they're always in front of mirrors and i'm putting these weights away and again oh yeah i like my new trainers i'm wearing my little short shorts i'm wearing little short shorts now i love my short shorts i'm so i'm loving my in this moment i'm loving the trainers i'm loving my legs and i'm loving my bum and i'm like oh my god and i'm on this roll and i'm working up my body and i'm like oh yeah i love my chest and i always stop here i always stopped here and i don't know why but 21 years old in this moment in this gym love my trainers love my legs love my butt love my chest and i got to my face and instead of feeling that embarrassment or feeling the urge to push my eyes up i smiled because like first time in 20 odd years i liked what i saw back and um i want to smile i've got this little dimple and i was like oh my god that's just so cool that i have one dimple and i and it was just an evolution and it came by accident completely unplanned this moment in this germans and then it's just kind of manifested from that and um yeah i i dig deeper now but it's something that happened accidentally and definitely encourage people to to try it especially on valentine's day as well valentine's is coming up and um i never got valentine's cards girls would used to watch me out as a dare or as a joke or you'd go to school and there'd be these kids that carried around these big massive envelopes and just it was a boastful thing and it was a popular thing and i never got one all the cool kids did and as i got older and i participated in valentine's day and and i'm thinking about all the things that i loved and admired about somebody i wrote them down and you'd give them this card and they'd feel like ten feet fought tall and they'd feel like the sexiest person on the earth and i'm like why don't we do that for ourselves so yeah so three years ago it's such a good point and i love that thank you for sharing that story um about that as you call it you know an accidental or perhaps unplanned moment where your perspective just shifted and i think it is so often the case that you know i i had this conversation recently with um i won't give it away but it's a guest of someone who's coming up on the next series of the podcast and they said something that just switched my perspective on so many parts of my backstory and it was don't believe any of the negative thoughts in your head not some of them don't believe any of them because none of them are true none of them and that is really um a big thought to take on like how can none of the negative thoughts be true but they're not you know none of that negativity is true it's just your mind having thoughts thoughts don't exist they're not tangible you know they're just thoughts and you know if you have a perspective shift you can move from a place where those thoughts are causing you pain and suffering and leading you to possibly make more bad decisions i've certainly done that in the past when i've been in a negative mindset and you switch that and you think all of this is just chat chat in my head it's not real there's no truth in it and then you can start to actually sink into just the love that is omnipresent we've all got love in us it's all there we just get so dragged into these stories and these things that we tell ourselves and it's really beautiful that yours was an unplanned moment that just arrived in your life but that you also grabbed hold of that and then made that much more of a daily practice and a habit to get into because that's where i think you know why people so connect with your what you're doing on instagram is that it isn't it's a daily discipline certainly at the moment i know you you've taught very honestly before about life but at the moment it is a real daily reminder like oh yeah what what positive thought could i think rather than than a negative and and going back to sort of looking at you know our back stories and how we can get so stuck in what's happened i mean i know that you've talked very openly previously about um rejection and you were adopted at birth and you've since you know throughout your life and adult life um felt at times rejected and also really looked at that like stared rejection in the face and sort of unpicked it could you tell us a bit more about i guess where you're at with that today and and how you are healing or have healed from from that process and those feelings so again when we're talking about the negativity and i guess the chapters in our life um are our stories as dramas what have you i think the big one from me and i even used to say say myself and whenever i do an interview they'll always tend to caption um this man was given up for giving up for adoption at birth because of his face because of his parents and some stories have made it even more negative and said that i was giving up um for adoption because i was too ugly and and growing up i have shared that i was given up for adoption because of the way i where i look and now as an adult you know i i was placed for adoption that that is it there is no extras i was placed for adoption i don't know what happened with my birth parents i don't know what was going on in their hearts in their heads i those two people gave me life and and again it's shifting that mindset from i just used to look at that and just think it was such a negative thing but now that's that's i was that was my start of my life and it's down to me to live it and when i'm even when and going on the next step when i i love fitness and i love training and when i'm trying to motivate myself i always used to call myself horrible names to motivate myself like i would call myself a all the time calling you and and that's and that's not good enough that's not good enough and whereas now i'm so much kinder to myself again i'm letting go of that negative vocabulary and um just changing the whole thing into more positive more encouraging more nourishing nourishing and it's been massive for me um and when we talk about rejection um yeah that was i experienced that twice with my birth parents and um that was very hard and when i go through relationships and they're working towards the end um in the past i have clung on to them because i didn't want to be alone i didn't want to be rejected again and i've stayed in relationships longer than i should have been and um yeah that's again left me very very vulnerable so as well as being kind to myself i'm um i'm aware of it all now as well i'm always constantly thinking and processing and evaluating it all and sometimes i'll cry and sometimes i'll feel sad and alone as i relive experiences yeah um but i think that's really it works for me you know it does work for me and you know i've i've talked to lots of people over the years about rejection because i think it's such a fear that so many people hold and um and it can really stop you from forging new friendships new relationships or even trying new things because you're almost anticipating rejection how have you stopped that from being your story now because you know you're you're you're really you know out there with what you're doing you're bold you're connecting with people every day you're engaging with an audience and you're doing brilliant things and you're raising awareness constantly how have you stopped that that fear of rejection um from from letting you progress and and fulfill your dreams and do all the stuff that you want to do um i again it's when we when we're having these conversations there are no quick fixes there are no it's not happened overnight these past five years the more i've shared what's inside and the deeper connections i've made with people friendships partners um so many opportunities have presented themselves and people give back and and i guess those bonds are a lot stronger and i'm not saying i'm talking to these people every day i'm not saying that i've fallen in love with all these people and they've become life partners and life best friends and stuff like that but connections have been really true and honest and and and i'm just aware that it's a safe place they are they out there people that i feel safe with because i have shared it all and i'm very there's no hiding there's no filter um this is me and and that's been and when it comes to rejection me owning who i am and being comfortable with who i am has definitely been massive and i've been really it's helped me a lot i still don't get me wrong i still get worried that i'm gonna be alone and on my own or something like i have those moments but i do know that on my own i am safe i will forever be my always every night i go to bed i have a heart that beats from me and i have a head full of thoughts and then my thoughts and i'm safe with them and i protect them but the more i share the more i open up the more i show the world my smile um the stronger that comes and i feel like i've created a safe place around me full of incredible people and some may stay some may go um but my world is a little safe place now and um it's again it almost feels like it's been done by accident um you're trying to ask me how i've done this and honestly then i don't know i just feel like it's just been a massive trial and error process you know yeah but i think that you um you underestimate how much you're manifesting all this stuff because i think that's often the way like personally it probably does feel quite accidental but i think you are putting out good vibes and you are creating a beautiful community where people are so engaged with what you're saying and you're helping so many people you know what you're doing is is you know preaching to people saying be you like be you own it like that is going to change your life and i think so often we push against who we think we are and we try and rebel against it or we try and be a better version of ourselves a stronger version of ourselves whatever it is and and and you're talking absolute common sense when you're doing your your interviews your talks on your instagram just be you and and own that and your life will i mean you've proved that your life will quite literally transform itself and and you know that's why i reckon it does feel quite accidental to you but you are that is your momentum now because that is your mindset and and i wonder how much of that is practice like from that moment where you were working in the gym at 21 and you you smiled you clocked you cute dimple you know from that point on is it just practice is it practice is it is it that simple we just have to practice being us and liking us liking ourselves and i had a a girlfriend at the time and she would always used to joke that i was begetted or i thought about myself a little too much and she was very aware of that i was doing it i am being serious i do love myself and but you know and she was joking on that and it and the more i think about when i was 21 and those times um you know i'm it did become more of a thing for me um but before that i tried to rely on other things and and before that as well trying to be somebody else was so tiring oh like i've got so much more energy now um i i the things i used to do to try and be happy i i wasn't happy with myself i wasn't happy with my face my my my backstory i wasn't happy with any of it so i would lie about my birth parents and i used to um i kind of had it in my head that my birth one was debbie harry blonde hair singer and my my my dad was the guitarist and when i was happy my mum's hair was bright blonde and and they were happy and and then when i was angry that blonde hair was gray and faded and they were more old worn and and my story kind of changed and then as i those stories about my birth parents kind of manifested to what i used to do for a first job when i was talking to people i would lie about things that i've done experiences oh yeah i've been to this country oh yeah i've done that and when it came to sex and relationships i i shared that i'd had sex with various other people and that just didn't happen for me and it got so tiring and then it also kind of manifested into i i wasn't happy with my appearance so i obsessed with my body and i had a really bad relationship with food sun beds and i would dehydrate myself i felt like i needed abs all year round i would look at celebrities and see what they were wearing what they were doing i would spend all my money on designer clothes because i thought if i was wearing a label that would give me something and i had to do all these things to be happy and um and it's hello just hello to tosh and it it really really is and you know i'm talking to you in this ridiculously old vintage shirt that i found at your mum it's like 40 years old um and i haven't been to the gym in a year um i've not had my hair done properly you know i'm not relying on filters sunbeds sex alcohol i'm just me and the more i am i'm not just me i am me and the more i am me when i do meet people they're real friendships they're real true honest relationships and i don't have to hide and i don't have to lie i'm me and it's just so uplifting and it's so empowering it really is i mean i've seen quite a few people saying i love jono's sassy shirt i do so it's fantastic um but it it's you know it's so funny because we know this we know that seeking either outside validation or buying stuff or attaining goals whatever is gonna fill that hole or make us feel complete make us feel better about ourselves we know it's not gonna work well we still can't do it we still don't you fall into the trap of if i could just get this job have a perfect partner have the right pair of shoes at everyone else's right moment have a six-pack you know we think we're going to feel different like we know we're not it's got to be that inner inner contentment or or even like the the willingness to do the inner work to look at all of our past and the things that have troubled us and things that have tripped us up and and all the thoughts that go along with that that really hold us back and that's not that's not an overnight thing obviously this is like you know you make that decision to really dive in and dig deep and and do it but it's like you say when you're forging friendships and you're in relationships they're they're real that's the real deal and you know what what's better than that on that note i watched one of your videos the other day jono and you were talking about isolation which was so interesting because at the moment we find ourselves in another lockdown people are either shielding or isolating if they are ill um or are just keeping their distance from a lot of other people you know we're encouraged to stay home and and you talked about the fact that 15 years ago you had chosen to isolate you had made the decision that you didn't want to be in contact with other people because of the negative thoughts that were going around your head and i wonder if you could sort of share a little more on on that and where you're at today with that um so i gotta tell i've got to tell you guys about my mum who adopted me um she when she met me she was in her 40s a single lady lived in a council house and kind of worked in a fish shop and decided to be a foster carer for children with disabilities and they spoke to her about myself and asked them if she wanted to meet me and she was like yeah i'd love to meet this boy in hospital and she's always told me that they spoke about my face my appearance this just went gene she's not even five foot she's absolutely tiny and um so everything goes over her head but obviously when they were talking about my face yeah straight over here to get some more and and she met me and she's always told me when she first saw me she couldn't help but smile and when she first held me she just felt this instant connection this instant bond and turned to the social workers the nurses when can i take him home and that was when i was two weeks old for the next five years uh gene raised me um along with her family and she just gave me so much love she took me to london for my surgeries and she just again she created this safe place for me and i felt loved i felt special because of that consistency because i found eventually i was placed up for adoption when i was five and gene was like he's mine and gene became my forever home my forever family and and i just felt like a regular kid and i celebrated my birthday and i felt i celebrated my adoption day i just thought everybody kind of got two birthdays um when i went to school i just thought it was so cool that i got everybody have to take the birth certificates in i were able to show my adoption certificate and i just loved being a little bit different but then as i got older i am that's when i started noticing kids would pull their eyes down and they would fold their ears over to mimic i absolutely love my little bats in cinemas and they don't get cold in winter they don't pop on flights and i i do absolutely love them and i used to boast about these things but as i got older the things i loved about when i boasted about all of a sudden turned into the things that kids were being cruel to me about and they were my favorite things and those things were being used against me in the most horrible horrible list of ways and as i got older i started to struggle i didn't know who to talk to and i didn't know who to um seek out for advice and again my mum my forefoot superhero i would always ask her why and we always used to have we used to have difficult conversations and she always would say that was beautiful and as i got older i stopped believing my mum and started believing the bullies the negative comments and i did start to withdraw i started to isolate myself and there were two moments i was thinking about today that were just like nails in my coffin and me and my mom went to great almond street and i used to have a an operation or i'd have a checkup my mom had made me do homework on the train down and she'd always get me a microwave pizza from the trolley and it was massive work on the train but she always just try and make it fun so she always told me to pick a daily circus so i've been to great ormond street hospital i was about 14 years old and we was under the tube going to piccadilly and there was a couple and i sat from across from us and i was at the age where i started real realizing about relationships and i looked at this couple they were like sickly all over each other and i'm looking at this couple i'm thinking oh my god i know that's a little bit gross but i want that i hope i have that i used to listen to celine dion and meatloaf back in the day all their power ballads and i was like oh i'm gonna be like such a romantic and and i pray somebody being into me is that much and i just looked at this couple idolizing them and then they saw me they they they acknowledged my face and they started laughing towards one another and at 14 years old i was like yeah this this is my life this is the realization that i am different again every everything was kind of bittersweet i'd have a happy moment with a little and a horrible ending and my job in london was my mum wasn't comfortable and confident around london so my job was to tell my mum when we were getting off the tube so i was like mom even though this has just happened i got i had a thick skin i developed a thick skin and i started to hide a lot of my feelings from my mum so like mum it's piccadilly circus it's it's our stop as is next and the tube stops and we both get off and i'm off the platform and i look round and looking for my mom and my mum's on the tube and she's saying something to this young couple and then she steps off and the doors close and she just follows the tube as it leaves and she doesn't lose eye contact with them and she turns around and looks at me i just see this tear rolling down the cheek and it was one of the first times where i kind of realized that my mum was the people around me were seeing this too and i was so embarrassed and i felt kind of guilty that i'd upset my mum and again he was like another nail in the coffin where the easiest way to deal with this was to isolate i was to avoid these situations and again by not talking by not sharing it anything that was going on in here and my world became darker and smaller and um yeah that was i was i was tough that was a really really tough place to be um and another example do you remember the film cruel intentions yeah and i i watched that when i was a kid and the lead character had a long black coat and a pocket watch and this is so i'm so easily influenced and so i was like oh my god to be cool i need a long black coat so um again i'm like 14 15 and um i beg my mum didn't have much money so i begged my mum to buy me up this long book which she did and then she gave me some money to go shopping with so i went to sheffield and i'm like oh i had my black coats on my dodgy ball cup and that i did myself and i'm going to buy a pocket watch and i went to steam these the sunglasses huts like a little small sunglasses watch things i didn't really know anything so i'm just gonna go in there and i walked in and there's two girls and i'm so proud of this new coat and um the two girls behind the counter just burst into hysterics just both looked at me and just laughed ran into the back and i'm like oh whatever carried on looking at the watches and the sunglasses and then one of the girls came back out and she'd stopped she'd stop laughing and she's kind of helping but during that kind of hat she started laughing again and ran off into the back and again i went into the toilets at meadow wall in sheffield and again looked at my face in the mirror and i was like no i i can't do this anymore um so yeah um i've got so many memories that just have these in a moment i'm thinking this couple are amazing in in a moment i'm thinking i'm so badass in my coat and then just so quickly there's a reminder there that i was different and i found that really difficult um i'm now 36 i don't look 36 i know that's what you're thinking i'm so young and you fall and it's just evolved so much i am aware people stare i am aware that there are times people will make fun of me but i'm also people i'm aware that people think i'm badass that they love my ass they love my personality my energy my aura um and there's more of those people in the world then there are the others you know and i once fought my backstory my face would prevent me from finding friendships from finding love and but now it's it's not those those two girls in in the sunglasses heart the the couple on the the tube you know it's those sort of attitudes that are going to hold you back in life um it frustrated me that it took me a lot of years to realize that but now that i'm here you know i feel like i'm a baby and i'm still learning about life and i've just got this energy and this love that's just taking me to places that i never even knew existed and i'm blessed to travel the world and i meet strangers in the most weirdest of places and connections are made and i just feel so blessed it's yeah it's pretty special and again my face hasn't changed my face hasn't changed i do and there's there's no filters there's no sun beds there's no alcohol there's no yeah it's just me it's me and it yeah and it's remarkable i mean god thank you again for sharing these stories you're you do it with um a lot of courage and and you're a beautiful storyteller and it's um it's uh it's you know it's it's a real rollercoaster listening to you talk because it you know you you're mentioning these heartbreaking moments and things that you know you shouldn't have gone through and and like you say you've got the wisdom now and the life experience to go you know those people will be held back by their attitudes i will not be held back by anything and and you're proof of that you know you are you're so respected and loved by the people in your community and you're and you're doing something so meaningful and you're creating so much help for people and just positivity like my god we need some positivity at the moment you know life is weird and there's a lot of fear out there there's a lot of negativity out there and there you are just spreading positivity and joy and you know on behalf of all the comments that i've been reading and um seeing during this beautiful chat everyone just thinks you're a bloody legend which you are and just so many people saying how much you've you've helped and how they want to share this you this you know your story with um with their daughters you know a lot of young girls who are going through a lot um because of social media and how there's that sort of aesthetic comparison always and these new weird ideals that i seemingly can't even keep up with and and you'll bring it back to common sense and saying own it be you own it that is the that's the only way we're going to feel that inner peace and happiness and you're bloody brilliant jono i know you already know that but you're you're brilliant and and i i i love watching what you do on instagram and i urge everybody who's watching this chat now or if you're not watching it live i'm going to post this on my feed follow jono he's got all the wisdom he's got you know oodles of positivity and and joy to bring us all and um and i i can't thank you enough for sharing your stories today i know that it's not necessarily an easy thing to just sit there and and you know go back in time like that and tell us your stories so i really from the bottom of my heart thank you jono for for telling us that today well thank you for the opportunity to share him i i didn't i i i stopped sharing years ago i stopped sharing and he definitely kept me behind a wall or behind a roast tinted glass i felt like everybody was living something and connecting and i was kind of experienced like in my own bubble or behind a wall behind the glass um whereas the more i've shared definitely so much has happened um i do go into school what what you've just touched on i do go into schools i'll pre covered i used to go into schools and i used to think that i was talking to people with a facial difference and that's how i that's how it started and my family got in touch with me oh geno can you come to our daughter's school um my daughter's got to each collins we just want to educate the class the school so they don't ask questions and they're not hopefully he'll reduce the bullying so i was a nervous wreck and i shared my story in front of this entire school and i dropped my showed in my hair and i wear a hearing aid i showed him a hearing aid i dropped my hearing aid on the floor uh it just went it was a disaster and then we went out we went out my bottom lips as soon as it started starting good morning everybody and you know when all the kids said good morning jono all in my bottom lip started to shake i'm like i'm gonna cry i am gonna cry it was a disaster um and the bell went and we all went out and we ended up all the kids ended up in the playground and my taxi had turned up and i was like right i need to go and then all of a sudden this little kids come over just like how can i see your ears yeah so i showed him he's like oh my god they're so cool and i used to tell the kids that i used to turn my hearing aid off so i didn't have to listen to my mom or i didn't listen to the teachers and keep like oh my god that's so cool and then another little a student came over and started talking about the they felt sad about their freckles um and then within a minute the entire school was flooded around me just talking asking questions sharing stories i was like i have no idea what's going on right now but i thought i was talking to this one girl but i'm talking to this entire school the caretaker came up to me and started sharing something about their leg and how they're embarrassed about their like these adults and i'm like and then the head teacher shares something we live in a world obsessed with image obsessed with looks and i think that's difficult for every single one of us and especially with social media and and filters and how we how people touch photos up it is tough and if we share something and we don't get that many likes or somebody puts more makeup or shows more scheme and gets more likes it's encouraging it is some more fields there is a minefield but we're in it together and um we try and encourage everybody to do themselves do you be you you can't be anyone else and like you said earlier it's bloody draining tiring work trying to be someone else be you and you know i'm john i'm sure that we will talk we need to do another talk i'm sure because there's a whole other chapter we go off on but you know we're not going to be able to ever stop people posting pictures that are only about what they look like or using filters whatever that's going to go on but i love that you are you know balancing that out or combating that somewhat with just talking talking common sense and encouraging people to be them and i think we should all kind of make a pat today like the lovely group of people that have watched this live and also when this goes on the feed just let's all you know either on jono's instagram write down every day one thing you love about yourself or privately on a bit of paper see what happens see what happens in it as an experiment see how that lifts you for a couple of minutes an hour could be a whole day let's all like make a pact here now that we're gonna try and do that because i reckon it's gonna really help us all out big time and like you know you did a video the other day jono saying i'll be honest guys i can't think of anything today and that's also all right you know just go back to it every day like what is it today that i love about myself can i find one thing it's a really powerful thing to do and and you've really you know put that at the forefront of my mind at the moment jono and i'm definitely going to make that pat to myself but i'm going to do that in one of my many notepads i've got in front of me we just need to remember as well come on nobody can take that away from you and people will try people will try and put you down and they will say negative things towards you but when you think of those things that you love about yourself you keep that in here and that's yours to keep forever there you all think keep them safe um so yeah um if yeah if everybody can share on the comments what they love about themselves i'm sure we'll see so many amazing things and you might have to start small it might just be in your head might be written down but hopefully you'll be one day you'll be able to say it out loud because i'm at the point now where i always i love my face um and 15 years ago i couldn't even look at my face so step please start please start it's so uplifting and life-changing and thank you for giving me the opportunity to share and talk oh no jono honestly thank you um what an absolute roller coaster of a conversation we should definitely do this again soon and have a catch up and also you know see how people are getting on with the the self-love stuff jono big love to you i feel so boosted after talking to you and we need more jonos in the world that's what we need dude thank you fan i honestly i appreciate that so much yeah it feels my heart up some more and when people do message oh i'm sure you get that message all the time and you get tired of hearing it no it never it never gets tired so honestly thank you friend means so much and you're doing amazing things as well you're enabling and facilitating so much goodness and so much positivity so thank you thank you thanks mate that's really sweet of you thanks so much you

Channel: Fearne Cotton's Happy Place

Views: 3,282

Rating: 4.9298244 out of 5

Keywords: Fearne Cotton Happy Place Podcast, Fearne Cotton Jono Lancaster, Fearne Cotton Celebrity Interviews, Jono Lancaster inspirational story, Who is Jono Lancaster, Jono Lancaster love yourself, Love me Love my face documentary, Abandoned By My Parents Because Of My Face, Jono Lancaster Treacher Collins Syndrome, Heartbreaking stories, Jono Lancaster self love, Jono Lancaster bullying, How to Accept Yourself, Key to Happiness, Why it's so hard to love ourselves, What self-love means

Id: AF46n9PCVqs

Length: 46min 8sec (2768 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 01 2021