[THEME MUSIC] Nothing but show
in late night. You know what is. Nothing but illustrious guests. Miro, who do we have
in the building today? Today we have the
most illustrious. One of your favorite comedians. Jon Stewart, ladies
and gentlemen, in the building, y'all. [INTERPOSING VOICES] I want to point out,
I'm not in the building. He's not in the building. Oh, yeah, you're
in your building. I'm in my attic. He's in his- In the attic. All right. You guys, stop the fake news. Stop doing that. You know, you guys
gotta report true. Don't you like this? Or isn't there something
about this that you like? You know, I was
doing a Zoom call with, like, five other people. Being able to see
into people's homes. It actually makes it-- I find it makes the
conversation much more intimate. You learn more about people. You get to see them
in their real lives. I actually sort of like this-- And I'm not just
saying that because I'm a recluse to begin with. But I like looking
at your house, it gives kind of a
window into you guys-- Exactly. --that you wouldn't
normally have. It let's you peer
into people's souls. But here's my question. Have you ever been in a
Zoom meeting and something in someone's background
makes you a little nervous? Like too many plants,
not enough plants, maybe just the situation that
they have in the background. I don't want to name
any cast members or anybody on our staff. But somebody on
our staff, it looks like they are in the
bottom of a haunted house, and we've had to
ask them to turn off their Zoom camera sometimes. For me, it's angles. Yeah. Generally, I can handle. But sometimes, you get
somebody who gives you, like, one of these.
- Oh yeah. That's the worst. [INTERPOSING VOICES] The I'm looking at myself guy. - Yeah.
- Yeah. So, yeah, Jon. Uhh-- so what's
[INTERPOSING VOICES] Or they'll have
that weird angle where they're down like
this, and there's just only darkness around them. And you're like-- --yes. --are you in
Buffalo Bill's cellar? Like, why--
[LAUGHTER] What are you doing? What's going on with
the light, there, my guy? What's going on with the--
with the light back there? It's an illusion. But you've got
opportunity there. You know, you've got
opportunity for surprises. If you like a sneaker automat. Oh, yeah. You could have all kinds-- you
could have sneakers lined up, but then one of them could just
be a grilled cheese sandwich. I mean, there's so many
things you could do. I was thinking about that. I just put some
snacks back here. Anything's possible. Maybe just put some eggs. Just snack on things
while reading. Jon, OK. You know, you had a little
thing called "The Daily Show," an amazing cultural event. Now, we were just on hiatus
while everything was going on. The George Floyd-- the protests. Like, corona and everything. And I remember, I used to
religiously watch your show. And I remember when
Hurricane Katrina struck, you guys were on hiatus. What was that feeling like? Was it, like, a feeling
of, sense of hopelessness? Or did you-- because
like, we're coming back. When we come back,
we know we have to talk about
everything that happened when we were off the air. How do you reconcile that? Like, what was it like
to know that you had to, like, in that one
episode, cover-- like, basically cover
everything that happened while you were off the air? Sometimes, it would
work in your favor. And I don't know how
you guys process, you know, the more difficult stuff. Because, you know, like, for
instance, with Katrina, when you were off, you had a chance
to process it and digest it in a way that maybe took
a little bit of the horror and depression out of your
soul so that you could maybe process a little bit. But there were times, like,
after Charleston or Eric Garner, Ferguson, where
you'd be on the next night or that night. Or I remember the Charlie Hebdo - Oh, yea.
- --massacre. France. And you'd come on that
night, and you hadn't had a chance to process it yet. And it was just-- you would just have to be raw. And you didn't have so
much of what you guys do and what we did
was, it's a refiner. And you're taking in, sometimes,
relatively toxic materials. And you're trying to put
them through this refinery and then bring them out in
a way that's meaningful. You guys still had some
inspiration and, kind of, joy to it. But, boy, there were some of
those moments when you had to go right on, where just-- I just couldn't muster it. And it was just raw-- like, a big,
soul-sucking sadness. Definitely. We talk about it all the time. We feel personally responsible
for giving people that look like us a break, right? Because of the essential
workers, all those people. Like, at the end of the
day, we want to tell you what's going on in the world. But we also want to
give you that little-- like, that little
piece of, like, OK. Whew. All right, these are my guys,
I'm going to chuckle with them, and then get back into the fray. Like, some levity. Right, right. Listen. I know that burden and the
onus that that puts on you. The only thing I would say
is, like, you're doing it, and forgive yourselves. Like, in those
moments where you feel like that you have
to elevate them, know that that's
what you're doing. That's what your show is. You don't have to contrive
it or overly process that. That's who you guys are. That's what this show is. So you're always doing that. So I always felt like
I tried to forgive myself for not being able to. You know, the instinct
is, you want to solve it. The instinct is you want
what you do to matter to the better of them. And you kind of have
to reconcile that. You know, there is a
role for what we do. But it's not-- it's not
one of transformation. Right. Transformation is work. That's on the street. That's-- you know,
over a generation, that's going into the mines. But there is a function for
it, and there's a value in it. But it's not-- I wouldn't
place the burden of that. That's a lot to carry. And just know that
the thing that you are concerned about wanting
to do for the community, you're doing. Your presence. The way you conduct the show. The way you carry yourself. You're doing it. So it's-- you know. Mission accomp. Hey, thank you. And you mean that in a
good way, not in the George Bush on the ship way, right? [LAUGHTER] I definitely do not mean
that in the George Bush on the ship way. You think it's bad that you
can't even use the phrase, mission accomplished? You can't. Can I tell you something? It's like Hitler's mustache. Like, at a certain point,
there were probably other guys with that
mustache going like, are you fucking kidding me? Bro, I've had
this for 20 years! This works on my face so well. And now I've got
to go handle bar? This is my thing.
Yeah. If I'm like-- red hats. I see a red hat now, I'm like-- Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely. What's going on, here? From far away, you try
to make out the letters. And then you move strategically. I was that way anyway
as a New York Mets fan. St. Louis Cardinals. I was always on the
lookout for those, anyway. That's fair. Also, as a New Yorker, the red
berets of the Guardian Angels-- [LAUGHTER] --of New York City. You'd never know when
you want that picture trying to see whose
standing in the foreground. Did I tell you how
furious I was that I graduated from high school-- I went to Dewitt Clinton
High School in the Bronx. And he was the speaker.,
out of all the people. Stan Lee graduated from there. That's highly disappointing. Ralph Lauren. All these people. They got Curtis
fucking Sliwa to do the address at my graduation. Really. I'll never forget that shit. You know, my mom went
to George Washington. She went to George Washington
High School, I know. - Hey.
- Yeah. But she wasn't a speaker. You didn't want
to hear from her. She probably would have just
told you guys to, you know, eat a little better
and call more. Call more often? It would have been
an entire graduation speech about the value
of calling more often. Jon, have you
had a colonoscopy? Oh, my god. My colonoscopy canal is like
the entrance to the George Washington Bridge. [LAUGHTER] You got the E-ZPass. So, my dad got one. And we were talking about it
because I'm supposed to get one because I have diverticulosis. That's just-- Oh, yes. Recently. Recently, meaning,
like, a year ago. And my dad went and
got his colonoscopy. And apparently, you
have to drink a drink, and then they blow
air up your ass. Is that-- But they have to blow air. You know-- That's what I said. They want to get your
ass's good side, so they have to blow air in it so that-- you're given, like-- It's like a Beyonce
fan for your ass? That's-- that's exactly right. And oddly enough, I do have
flowing hair back there. So it's, uh-- (LAUGHING) Same. It's quite upsetting. I have Showtime so
I can uh, you know. Exactly. But you're-- you're out. You're on, like,
propofol, or whatever. So you just wake up, and
it's just the best sleep you ever had for a half hour. Like, it's relatively chill. It used to be you would
have drink gallons. You used to be able to-- yeah, because I had one. I had one way back, in
when I was like, 20. And I had-- for three days,
you have to drink that fleet, and then, or you
can drink a soup. And then they allowed me
to stay awake during it, and they let me watch. And it was, like, one of the
worst shows I've ever watched. It was no plot. You know, it was just
going down in my canal. Wait a minute. They let you stay awake to
watch your own colonoscopy? Yeah, on the screen. It was-- and I was
just, like-- and he was like, that's a polyp. And I was, like, OK,
I'll Google that later. I don't know what that means. But thank you. [LAUGHTER] You were like, is this--
is this "Cloverfield?" What is this? What am I watching? I didn't Tevo it, but-- [LAUGHTER] I was watching it. Like the Blair Witch
Project where the doctor just sat there going, I'm so scared. Oh my god. I'm so scared. Yes. Jon, you are a Mets fan,
through and through. What's going on with the
people buying the Mets? Are you excited? Because we're getting
all these rumors. We had the rumor of A-Rod
and J-Lo possibly coming in. Now we got the big
billionaire guys coming in. The Wilpons said
they're going to sell. Are you believing this? Because I-- we're Knick fans. So we understand what you're
going through as a Mets fan. You know what I mean?
We know-- And you're also a
Knicks fan too, that's why he's-- you made that face. Yeah. I-- I'm a Knicks
fan, I'm a Mets fan. This has been just decades of-- --decades. Bonkers. And you guys-- and you
guys don't even remember. You weren't alive for the glory. You weren't alive
for the Frazier and Earl the Pearl, Willis
Reed and Dave DeBusschere and-- --well, we weren't
alive for that. But you have to
remember, as Knick fans, anytime they do highlights,
that's all we have to watch. Anytime, they're like--
they're like, here, watch. Here, watch Clyde Frazier
and maybe some Linsanity. That's it. That's all we got. That's right. You get that-- those
three days of Linsanity. Exactly. A couple of impossible
threes, and everybody was like, I say we
just build them. Let's just build the
team around this kid. Why not? You know, it was
like, you know, listen. I was like, let's rename
Madison Square Garden. It's his building now. That's right. Absolutely. It is absolutely his building. It's, you know-- and
part of the issue for those teams is
just the way they end up losing or the way they-- or like, you know, when you
get a banger like Cespedes and then he gets hurt
chasing a wild boar, and you're just
like, that's not-- - Yeah.
- How? That's not a thing
that happens to people. By far, baseball guys are-- get the weirdest injuries. Right. You know, like,
Aroldis Chapman broke his arm playing backyard
hockey with his nephew. Like, what? What were you doing? There was the
pitcher, Trevor Bauer, who pitching in
the World Series, like, I can't pitch tonight. What happened? I had a drone accident. And you're like-- drone? What? [INTERPOSING VOICES] What are you,
Enrique Iglesias? What do you mean drone accident? Why do you have
a drone going when you're in the World Series? Like, but for the Mets,
it would always be they would sign a guy who was-- you know, oh, he had such
great years with the Pirates, he's going to be great. And then he comes to the Mets
and, like, breaks his chin. Yeah. And you're like,
I didn't think the chin was a breakable thing. Yes. And then, to add
insult to injury, the Mets would do some
sort of weird press release where they're just, like,
hey, he hurt himself, but he didn't injure his chin. And you're just like,
why did you say-- --and he'll be back in a week. Yeah. And three years later,
they're like, actually, it was a tick bite, and he
is now allergic to meat. And you're just
like, I don't know-- [INTERPOSING VOICES] That being said, we appreciate
everything David Wright has done for the organization. I'm like, yo, you
guys ruined it. I-- You know, what's funny? I'm that diehard Yankees fan,
but I'm not a Mets hater. So that Reyes Wright combo? I was like, oh, these
guys going to take the Mets into the future. And then it was just like-- --Let me just
explain very quickly. There's no reason
to be a Mets hater. Exactly. When you're-- when I
hear you're a Yankee fan and that you may be a Mets
hater, that's like saying, you know what? Yeah, I played D1 basketball. But I'm not mad at
intermediate school. [LAUGHTER] Like, those guys,
you know, they're good. And you're just
like, yeah, of course you're not mad at the Mets. Why would you be
mad at the Mets? Oh, because of all
Yankee fans are terrible. You know that, Jon. Come on. Come on, you know that. But I-- even that. Like, everything good
that happens to Mets. So I went to-- the uh-- so they had been
one of the only teams, I think, other than maybe
the Padres or somebody, doesn't have a no hitter. Never had a pitch
throw a no hitter. I was at the game. Santa. In St. Louis. By the way, the seven train
that night coming home, I have never been on a subway
train that was smiling before. Like, it was the
greatest feeling. Churro ladies just
giving out free churros to everybody, like, heyyy. That was a moment. But even that. Johan Santana. First of all, there
really was, I think, a hit in it that
was called whatever. But the game-- the no
hit saving catch ruined the outfielder who caught it. It smashed to the wall, like
broke his shoulder, like a kid from York. And the pitcher,
Santana, was never-- he throws the no hitter. And then the day after that,
they had to take his arm. And it-- you know. They put it in rice
like a wet iPhone. It was nuts. Yeah. It was well. As I was watching that game,
after the game, I was like, you know, this guy
sacrificed his career to get you guys a no hitter. His pitch count
was way too high. Way too high. It was like 140 pitches. Mm-hm. I saw it. [INTERPOSING VOICES] But we all walked out of
there, like, well worth it. Absolutely. I would throw that guy in
the volcano again tomorrow-- Let's go. Let's do it. That's honesty. --to get us that ball. That's real fandom. And speaking of the
blue and orange, there is a very famous
GIF reaction of you to a very bad Knicks possession
where you're sitting courtside, and you're just like, oh, man. JaVale McGee. JaVale McGee. JaVale McGee shouldn't
have been playing. [LAUGHTER] You know what he was shooting? A fadeaway turnaround. (LAUGHING) A
fadeaway turnaround? The Warriors were
playing the Knicks, and I was there with my son. Mm-hm. And, you know, the
Knicks played him, I think, in that game
the first half. Like, the Knicks
were just on it. Like, playing with great
energy, just bringing it. And three minutes later,
into the third quarter, they're down by 28. Like, it was one
of those classic-- [INTERPOSING VOICES] Golden State Warrior. At a certain point,
it just got crazy. And so, my reaction to that
was, like, I will accept Curry. I will accept, uh,
Draymond Green. I know where you're going. Go ahead. Yep. They could throw
it up from 50 feet. They could throw
it up half court. But when JaVale McGee-- [LAUGHTER] --gets fed down in the post
and dribbles out past the arc and does, like, this
weird turnaround jumper and just swishes, it was-- at that point, it was
just like, well now you're just clubbing a baby seal. Like, this is just-- This is bad. That was-- that was my point. You know what. Clay Thompson, Clay
Thompson wants to cut across and thrown himself, you know,
a great catch and shoot. Beautifully. You know what? I have great respect for that. I marvel at the artistry. I marvel at the talent. And by the way, when
JaVale McGee wants to grab a put back and jam it back-- I love that guy. He's got such great energy. He's got such great spirit. When you start doing 25 foot
turnaround fadeaway jumpers-- [LAUGHTER] --then I'm like-- That's disrespectful. That's where you're just,
like, all right, enough. Disrespectful. Disrespectful. My child is here. My son is here. This is a real game. This isn't a scrimmage. I'm trying to raise this man-- --OK --to respect other people. [LAUGHTER] Now we have to have
a talk after this game. And took a dump
on our drink cart. [LAUGHTER] Jon. You know, shout out to
you, you had uh, oh, my god, that book, "America." Fantastic book mixed
with politics and satire. Yes, sir. You're continuing
that tradition now with the new movie, "Irresistible." Yes. Out now. Out now. How-- you seem to find-- like, it's, your
wheelhouse is taking parody and politics and kind
of putting them together. Trying to. Trying to. You know-- you
go back and forth. I like playing around
with different forms. It's interesting you
bring up the book. You know, "The Daily Show"
was kind of using the, you know, authorities,
supposedly, of news as our structure. And so when we were trying to
think about what's a great-- you know, we wanted to see
if we could translate that to the written form, right? But we were trying to
figure out, like, what-- what type of book has that
same kind of gravitas, or false authority. Whatever they want to do. And so that's where the idea
of America as a textbook. So it's-- Right. --it's sort of this
textbook with all the-- oh, and we actually put out a year
later all the corrections. Oh, wow. Historians are coming up to
me, like, you know, actually, that's not-- and
we're like, of course we know who the fuck that is. But go ahead. What is the take
away that you want people to take from this movie
after they finish watching it? I just want them to
have a good time with it. You know, it's
like anything else. You-- just continuing
a conversation. I do think there's
something to be said for-- you know, we continue
to have poor leadership and bad outcomes. And we can change leadership
and hope for the best. But I think there is something
deeper under the system. We've just gotten-- there's a-- we've gotten really
good at elections and, sort of, a permanent
campaign, and all the money that's associated with
it, and not good at governing. Right. And maybe if-- the idea is just, if we took a
little of that energy and focus and momentum and put it
towards governance as opposed to the permanent campaign and
the constant cable fighting, we might be better off. Got you. How do you feel
about, like, the new, that new blood that's coming
into government now, like AOC. We just recently saw
Jamaal Bowman crush it. JON STEWART: I love him. You know? I really think-- and you're
seeing it the way it's supposed to be, which is ground up. Like it's grass roots. And it's-- I always
say, you know, Donald Trump's going to make
America great again, just not in the way that he thought. You know, his-- his
presence-- and by the way, he's not the be all and end all. He's a symptom of a
deeper rot in that part. But I think he's inspired
really talented, enthusiastic, smart, committed
individuals to get involved in the public sphere. And I think we're
going to bear the fruit of that for many years to come. I mean, it's-- I think
it's going to-- it's a very exciting thought. You've, uh--
you've been watching the elections for years. Just a quick-- we just
want to pick your head. What do you think, uh,
is going to happen? Next election. Just a-- just a spitball. We'll probably
get a president. Probably going to
happen around November. He'll take office-- [LAUGHTER] --in January. In January? And anybody who tells
you that they know anything else other than that is lying. That is fair. That is fair. Do not-- we do not know. You know, it's just-- it's just
one of the-- and, so like, so-- you know, and
that's what I mean. Like, we're managing Biden
and Trump's, you know, motions day to day, hour
to hour minute to minute. He said this. It's over. Now the pendulum swings
in this direction. No. He made this. You know, it's you know-- Yeah. It's-- I guess, in the
absence of sports, it's the only thing to watch at this point. But uh-
- That's right. You know. I would love to see it just-- the election cycle condensed. You know what I mean? Do we really need to be
talking about this three years? Like, come on. We need-- it doesn't
give the country any chance for makeup sex. It's just, we always--
- At all. That's true. It'd be like if the season
never ended and you always had your jersey on that,
at a certain point, you really would start
to hate the other people. Like, not even in a
funny sports, way. In a real, like, I hate you. That is true. I can't hit the
fucking showers, man. You're fucking up everything. Well, Jon, we know
you are a busy man with a lot of things going on. Guys, I want to
wish you both luck with the air that's going to
be blown up lower intestines, [LAUGHTER] The colonoscopies that
are coming your way. That's it. We can't wait. We can't wait, I'm
looking forward to it. Jon, listen. Every illustrious guest on
our show, when we leave, we ask them what their
neon sign would say. You know every bodega in
New York has a neon sign. What would your neon sign say? Lactose-free ice cream. Boom! Oo! Wow!! Lactose-free ice cream. That's what I'm talking about! Mocha chocolate latte with
the lactate-free sour cream. Yeah! Beautiful things. Beautiful things. This is how people
come together, over digestive issues. Exactly. You know, if we could
just stop for a moment and realize all of us
get a little larger. Exactly. Ladies and gentlemen, give
it up for Jon Stewart. Jon Stewart, y'all. Thanks for coming
through, Jon. Thank you.
