John Pinette

now I wouldn't ski but I'll go and look at the mountains and everything but no they gave me tequila now apparently after the fifth shot of tequila you think you can ski they should have a warning on the label a chubby guy skiing with a slash through it after the tenth shot I thought I was peekaboo Pinet and I didn't have a ski shoe surprise surprise but they bought me one it was white that's my color I look like an avalanche graduating the lot I didn't ski they basically just pushed me off mom Gabrielle that's when I learned how to speak French she was sentimental eprint Augustus I fell down the mountain I get to the bottom of the mountain and I'm covered in snow merely lifeless little kid walks up to me and goes thrust he's dead and he was crying I didn't want him to cry so I had to get up you know there must have been some magic in that old silk cap a foul open the ambulance doors please I'm gonna need percocets in a PEZ dispenser no skiing not for me from now on they asked me to go skiing I say Nene and it's not my friends my family they like to do things to me to see what will happen to me and summertime the sports the activities water skiing that's another Nene the boat just pulls you I didn't even stand on the skis and what's like snorkeling underwater really fast and gonna shark oh what the hell was that that's a Nene I'll tell you a big whitewater rafting what a thinking your little raft listen if it doesn't have a casino and a buffet it ain't seaworthy I ain't the white what we're going down the river I was like can we bang against the rocks one more time I still have cartilage left in my right knee that's a neigh-neigh at the beginning of the month my family took me to a water park now I like to swim swimming is my exercise I frolic but there are rides at the park horrible Naenae rods the first ride we went on was the giant slide it's like 20 stories high and I'm looking for the elevator this you elevate how you get up there it's $35 to get in you should carry my ass up there I'm in flip-flops in the speedo and I'm walking up a mountain let's not visualize just let's move on shall we I'm walking up the state and I'm a little bit afraid of heights and I'm a halfway up I'm going mica Heidi went by with her grandfather I don't know hi I got to the top of the slide was it a slide Nene and I have slid when you slide you go whee this is not what happened I went I do slide at no point did my butt touch slide you reach around and you're not touching slide that's a free fall I was not issued to Paris you I'm falling and I see my family walking up I'm young it's not as well and I hit the water Oh God those people shouldn't bid now my cup out of the water here where's my baby attention the next ride was the giant tube now it was a medium to bad best and it narrowed significantly and I found out when I get nervous I swell it was a very tiny tool not giant I'm not too big that too was too small but they shoot you right through they have like water cannons and you're not supposed to just plop gently into the pool I shot across the pool you know in Free Willy when he jumps over a kid I cleared for there were some tourists here from Japan god bless them I made their vacation they videotaped it formulas free weary sungkoo now we have it on videotape I'm flying across the air it's kind of funny I kept the soundtrack from fury into it so you see me flying you hear that Michael Jackson song from free RiRi me like the river Jordan I knew I should have started with the impressions I liked that much I saw my hardest rag on a bottle top had a wad man so they follow the pattern although and y'know cuz I got no air here's a quick impression this is an Ewok from Return of the Jedi if you didn't see Return of the Jedi you won't like this one day you might see it and go that was a very good impression I should see more movies this is my Ewok all right now let me finish up the waterpark story as it was one more ride it was a medium slide I thought it would be a fun slide my butt touch slide but the pool that you went into was too short and you pick up steam well I hydroplaned across the pool I went through the fence out into the parking lot way out there H I J please I crawled back up to the gate they want me to pay to get in again listen pal LM a speedo you'll see a wall of anywhere he said I don't even see the speedo

Channel: Terry Cameron

Views: 1,356,747

Rating: 4.8347669 out of 5

Keywords: John, Pinette, comedy, just, for, laughs, funny, humor

Id: enAxyqWTpOQ

Length: 9min 1sec (541 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 13 2006