John Holmes Interview (1980)

[Laughter] john i'm going to ask you some questions you try to be serious yeah i've got a magic okay okay serious all right um it would be about something different than my life people wouldn't come and see me no i'm teasing you [Laughter] okay wait a minute i'll be serious yes i understand you're difficult to work with that you throw tamper tantrums and that you're an [ __ ] yes yes that's true i mean if you're going to do it do it all the way i'm not temperamentalist i can't paint and i can't draw and i can't sculpt so i have to have some outlet for my fake artistic qualities no i saw painting that you did this afternoon it was very good you were only five years old thank you because that was the side of a house it's burned down now what about your bathroom fetish what about it yeah um why do you stay in the bathroom for five hours at a time i don't know it's a shitty habit i've got i don't have a habit of doing that sometimes i hide in other places so that they can't find me but usually the bathroom is the only place with a lock on the door um can't read your own writing do you think anybody hates you just those who know me don't shake you're laughing at the camera do you always come on time stop that no i am incessantly late uh habitually tardy i know i'm talking about during the filming one time come you and me yes on time yeah yes you like women frequently what kind of women do you like really round ones oh i got a good one okay now that we're serious you know we can get to the meat of the mouth i would like to know um what do you call yourself a [ __ ] a hooker or a gigolo or something along that line what do i call myself i mean oh excuse me [Music] do you pull tricks on the side yes i do and on my back yes i do do you pay a lot of money to do that yes i do don't you think that's amazing no i think it's done i mean you're pretty shitty and dead from what i've observed is this going to be on are this is going to be edited out or what yeah we're going to edit it don't worry sure right see that [Laughter] i think this is completely spontaneous because i don't i never did this and i already told you that i'm asking questions about when you're a horror or a hooker or whatever you call that jiggler how do you approach it uh frankly basically what do you do with the girl where do you do boys could we get some an interviewer with more experience no okay i'll ask you direct questions when you go on to a date and you're taking out a lady and she's going to pay you money yes where do you take her what do you do with her how do you act do you ever go out in public and you get recognized and they ignore her and what does she say where do i take her i take her as far as i can i act like a fool do you take her anywhere i mean maybe you just think i know i take her to dinner i take her dancing i take whatever she happens to be into it's what i happen to go along with she likes disco we just go she likes punk rock i don't take her out if she likes uh museums i can strut and do you just go down yeah it's i've been known to how come you never took me i have frequently okay i'll pursue a different line of questioning okay um a lot of people want me a lot of people would like to know this is your house and this is this is my household a lot of people could be wanting to know how you got started in fields i'll get started in films um were you just wandering around the streets no i was starving to death i was going to uh uh architectural college and uh architectural college studying structures and such and starving to death you know i only had to quit i couldn't find a place to park and but during the interim period i said i had a girl next door to me and she asked me if i would like to make a hundred dollars worth of one i wanted to know who i had to kill and but i was willing to kill anyway 100 is a lot of money and so she said it was for porno film and i said no of course not governor of the state can't make porno films john with the girl who was a prostitute next door to me in my apartment building for a hundred dollars when you were a child and you got into the boys locker room in eighth grade seventh grade you mean when i snuck through from the girls side the first time i'd ever been in the boys locker room and you went into the locker room and you know you all have to like strip down and stuff were you unusually large at the time yeah there was a lot of pony [ __ ] jokes running around and what the kids think that i was larger than their fathers couldn't we go buy a script no this is spontaneous i don't care if i waste this film i'll throw it out if there's nothing in it believe me like that table did for me the other night okay the homestay um no i'm real curious to know personally what happened when you were a kid and everybody saw that you had this big piece of meat there and they didn't have it weren't they jealous uh somewhere somewhere yes did did they then it wasn't then it was an obvious thing it was obvious since i'd been dropping it in the toilet since i was four okay did you think it was weird it was cold did your parents have to help you no i usually drug it out by myself are we talking about two different things here it doesn't matter because i flip it all together i figured that that's what i'm trying to figure out are you sure i'm getting paid yeah what i'm trying to figure out is when you were a kid with the other kids at school thought of yet i mean did girls hear about you and want to [ __ ] you or they did yes did they come and try to [ __ ] you they did yeah yes frequently when i did an interview on the street nobody wanted to [ __ ] you because you were too big yeah [ __ ] was that mine oh the one we made it on the way you said that about the girl who you interviewed who said what did she say she said she would faint oh yeah oh yes the girl's faint do girls think when they see this they don't actually faint to the point that they fall down and hit their head usually they just faint halfway you know like falling to their knees the camera's taking okay um do you have any kids kids um no i like horses i understand you like dogs also i like dogs yes what kind of dogs bow wild types kind of bark and bite and things okay let's talk about your personal boston bull terrier i like but dachshunds chihuahuas uh great danes labradorian i like all kinds of dogs cats you have dogs in your mansion here no the producer and the interviewers [Laughter] okay wait let's go back to the end okay when you when you started out i understand that you were um hanging around the set you were a grip or gaffer or something i did i did everything gripped and then you would go and one day they needed an insert shot and they said help us and sean raised his hand no no no that's actually i didn't i i never did that well what did you do i i literally did made a stag film with my next door neighbor for a hundred dollars really yes she asked me if i want to make 100 she knew someone who wanted to make a stag film and wanted somebody uh overtly large in person how did they know you were large she had borrowed things from me like cups of sugar pieces of ass and things and word got around um so then anyways you went on is that a run out yet or what's no hold let's cut for a second market okay okay john now when i was getting back to is about how you get started would you ever think you would be famous or i still don't think i'm going to be famous you are famous i'm not famous i didn't interview on the street you were famous everybody knew you everybody yes almost everybody okay okay john now when i was getting back to is about how you get started would you ever think you would be famous is not a household name who didn't know me a few people i want their name a couple of year old tricks they didn't know you but did you ever think that would happen to you uh probably and especially over such an unusual thing what's unusual everybody's got one well at least half the people i know the other half were just envious do you have one one at all does your brothers and sisters have things that are that big i don't have any but you have none no i thought you had some nope no brothers no sisters are you lying no well there's a room around that you had a couple of brothers god you know if all the rumors that were spread about me were true it would wear to a nubbin do you have um image problems like behavior problems because of your image you have to act no no i've been housebroken for years when you go out in public sometimes you don't want to act that way you have to add macho i never act macho never no don't you use that assistant strategy no i go for the ones who like uh uh feminine guys um everything and everything in life is an act everything do you like the performance that counts and do you feel that i like stage acting better than camera i apologize but i do like uh stage acting much better i'm talking about when you're acting in the movie do you act on stage in a movie are you actually enjoying what you're doing yes why do you make such monkey faces when you're coming because when monkeys come they make faces i just learned to mimic monkeys they're not monkey faces they are faces of ecstasy why do you do this well it's better than just going is that how you do it when you're at home i i don't come at home why not it's because i'm not getting paid that's awful what about your old lady i don't have one you know i have bunches of them yeah i've heard about them you have several thousands where do they live all over the place do you like um yes do you take drugs no never they take me no i don't take drugs i don't even like aspirins i am a kind of a healthy person i don't need you are you vegetarian no no i'm not a vegetarian but i'm just basically healthy therefore i don't need drugs i'm not a sick type of person mentally possibly i cannot come yet um no i'm not done yet you just calm down turning me to my nose did uh do you ever get bored on the set and if you do what do you do i never get bored on yourself oh bored on a set excuse me um are you rich am i rich and experiences no are you rich in monetary you have a nice house here it's okay it looks quite a bit like a studio on that side of my house this side looks great what kind of car do you drive a lot of people want to know a lot of people's cars no i have a 1954 ford fairlane convertible with lots of dents in it if you could say anything to your fans what would you say save your money go back to the radio on you're not gonna like that sure they are um you have incredible luck when you're gambling and i'd like to know how you explain this uh it's um some people are good at being lovers some people are good at being gamblers and you're good at being good in bed bad at the tables vice versa no you're very good at the table that's what i said do you um produce and you direct your own film yes i don't no you do don't yes i do yes what kind of movies do you direct um all types of fun anything that uh anything that i'm contracted to uh to uh shoot you produce invest into yourself yes i do we do industrial films donut machinery it's religious films travel logs religious any type of film religious films yes travel logs any type of film that can be put down on celluloid i'll shoot it i mean um a lot of people also would like to know what happened to the ring that you used to wear oh the i wore a ring for today it's in my safety deposit box i take it out only it's insured you carry a weapon i hate to ask a loaded question no i don't carry a weapon but don't people sometimes try to attack you i i frequently yeah but i don't need a weapon to ward them off no i understand sense of humor is invaluable people try to beat you up on the street because you make pornography um i don't think it's because i make pornography and they don't like pornography i think it's because of another reason what uh like they show their move my movies that their house and their old lady gets turned on to them and it pisses them off no i'm serious i've had uh i've been attacked a few times and and they've been screaming tirades of how pissed off they are that their old lady gets into watching me not them or something i go why take them home leave them at you know in a bookstore and then you know you're all late you won't get pissed off do you think a lot of men are jealous of you no i don't think so not many i i don't know that many men are envious of you i don't think so i think they are are you envious of me yes i won't even answer you can you make a few faces no it won't come on yeah oh come on no i don't think it's i think people being jealous of me is a totally uh irrelative thing i think if they are jealous of me it's part of the mystique of being somebody that i'm not of being the person that's on cellulite i'm at two different people i am myself whom i portray on a natural level being just acting idiotic and being natural and then the other person is uh is is a fantasy is is a part of it's a figment of somebody else's imagination i am what you want me to be if you are envious of what i am or do or can be or i have then that's part of the mystique of why you pay attention to me and that makes sales and makes people go to films and buy films if you uh enjoy watching what i do that is an interest level everybody has or sees into that character which i portray which is not me i'm i'm just like anyone else that's just somebody on sorry about that it's it's tough making the split sometimes like like when i go to the bathroom i have total relativity of everything when i sit on the throne i am who i am that's all what i am uh but when i'm out on the street it is sometimes difficult uh when being faced by fans or being faced by people with knives and guns trying to explain to them that i'm two different people they go yeah right where's the other guy we want to kill him and i go sorry that's me too so what happens when you go to bed with someone and you really want to go to bed with them because you enjoy that person don't they have like a great expectation of you basically for good good healthy wholesome sex um i masturbate you don't even have to brush your teeth do you ever find women that can appreciate the difference in the character uh i don't think um most relationships that i have uh on a one-to-one basis goes to that point of depth which they try to find or ascertain the difference basically they get involved with me for one of one reason and uh it doesn't go beyond that if it goes beyond that then they're stepping out of their fantasy involvement with myself and once they discover that i am not whom they think i am or whom i portray to be then they back off why good taste i suppose but have you ever been in love have i ever been in love yeah five times with who old lady thumb and her four daughters just twice and what kind of women were these one was a guy and the other one was a woman what was the guy all about uh i don't know it's it's me and i've yet to find out about myself yet and the other one was just a fickled foreign type what was wrong with her are you still in love with her no i'm in love with everybody are you in love with this or ever were you ever in love with a singular woman oh yes yes yes thousands of times i mean i'll personally am i beating around this question yeah you want to go to the next one i'd like you to answer the question are we close to a run-out okay keep it right um i'm asking you a few benefits yes i have been in love yes with a foreign woman with everyone's foreign we all can't be american india that's mean would you mind sharing that with the public yes i would actually would you like to just let your two she's out in front of them would you mind sharing it with me because i'd like to know who it is cut

Channel: Maynard G. Krebs

Views: 353,683

Keywords: john holmes, boogie nights, exhausted

Id: 1a2BHRFGMgM

Length: 21min 54sec (1314 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 03 2020