Jo Brand | Carpool

[Music] welcome to the podcast of carpool this is the version where we use all the bits that we didn't have time to fit into the broadcast version now today's guest is a comedian for whom the term deadpan delivery might have been invented she started out as a nurse but then she made her name as a brilliant bolshy stand-up comedian and now she's gone back to nursing honey it's not quite like that cuz he's gone back to nursing in her own TV sitcom but she's of course the lovely Joe brand and she should be waiting for me just here yes she is perfect timing as she is now lovely ah madam Brend how are you how are you darling yeah very good very good so what we're going to you or is it your hairdressers we entered we are going to my celebrity hairdresser Wow is it actually a proper one so it's not a liar Rogan Xin dollops then it's not mrs. Scroggins internet was probably better no he's um he's on GMTV yeah but you're having your hair done on GMTV no alright no need to swear it's on our TV makes me sound like I'm one of those you know Heat magazine girls handle for me you've always been you know good for Heat magazine girl come what do they do I don't know what they do I don't know are men allowed to ask ladies what happens to their hair I don't know the about it all I happens I go and see a lovely Greek Cypriot bloke who talks about immigrants and cuts my hair - it takes about four minutes cost a quid you know it's not there's not a lot of involvement I don't know what they do oh yeah that thing over your head do they wash it and say my Richard is he's great he's just comes up with a pair of scissors goes where have you been on your holiday right but and then I've just done it in kind of 10 15 minutes no fast right oh that sounds good would you like a lot of women who've cried after having their hair Wow which I think people laugh that's not very good is it to get that upset about it would be done a Duncan Goodhew I suppose that they shaved it yeah and you go in with long thick long locks there wasn't there was a sort of Sinead O'Connor there was a time and there was quite a few men with shaved heads I thought it was gorgeous I think you've got to have a certain look yeah I mean she did look a bit like an American wrestler so made you know but skinny girls are nice really sure is that what it do maybe you're right maybe you do have to be skinny is it isn't that a funny old world isn't it because this I saw a girl this morning in when I was driving over to you who was like model thin and now all I thought was oh it was painful it's that is there something when joints on in arms and legs are wider than the lake you know because it's not poor thing she was a mate and obviously a wealthy well looked after you know I mean she wasn't like a pauper you know she was fashionable and cool and had the hair done you can never be too Oh too thin or too rich is that and that which is which was misses you can never be too fat too probably yeah yeah that's much more work if you went around to someone's house and they're in the door and they said you can never be too rich or too thin you'd feel really awkward and tense yes unhappy and you'd be worried that your tummy was doing you know come around to Joe's house every door to go out coming don't get any Christmas very annoying that is the biggest party box I've ever seen my house is huge he could get what probably 30 pizzas in there and some chicks there and probably it right on the top load of deep-fried products it was just an assortment okay perfect but then now you've got you're so busy though because I haven't seen you for like well the last time I saw you performing that what was that was a BBC BBC poor called for crying out loud is all about crying in public annoying it's getting so sick of saying you know these little Muppets on The X Factor and hoping that they would win if they cry who do you think you are and cry all the way through yeah they're not interested they're not intraday my great granddad worked in a factory pass me a tissue yes now that's interesting is that excuse you I mean one would assume with your background in the caring profession that you'd be all sort of nothing you got just get over it it's an interesting kind of dilemma because most people in this country that know very little about kind of mental health problems do think that depressions all about people just being annoying myself engaged and being self full of self-pity and crying a lot exactly paralyzing physical condition in other cases so I mean we do have to weed out the ones that have just been jumped by their boyfriend for three weeks it's not really depression you're sad enough yes I actually did watch that when you did Parkinson oh yeah just like I don't think I've ever seen that I watched that last night because it's on YouTube of course when he says when he said but he just he he was quite a shocking badly put question because even they were talking to you you were discussing your weight and going on the pill and all that he said to have you always been fat or he just said just be always been fat what he was embarrassed it was good was it who we always Cilla black wasn't it Oh Sylla and Helen Mirren all right heaven for my mom she's finally made it yeah she's on with two really famous women but now you are you doing your because I just I've only just caught up with all that your sitcom Oh getting on getting our thing yeah yeah but you're doing more they've done them already we yeah we did them in January February that was very show biz we were a deserted Hospital in East London right which had no toilets no heating in January so we were wearing little thinner the camera crew shiny Peter Capaldi directed it and I said to him look you know I don't have any ego if I'm really rubbish in it yeah just tell me and we get someone else in Helena Bonham Carter to play me and he's dead know what I will tell you cuz I kind of felt I was doing that sort of EastEnders acting right where you just play yourself yes because many years ago Lynda LaPlante she wrote a serious about comedians yeah and she based one of the characters on me right and so they contact my agent and there's just a formality chose to play this character who's based on her and I went into the audition I was so terrible I didn't get it playing my friend [Applause] [Laughter] so I don't judge anyone fancy right because I know I'm right at the bottom of the tree right exam right absolutely I mean I've tried to do you know I have done a BBC drama which we know and I wasn't very self-conscious no no I thought I took it really seriously and tried to do so and they and the crew kept laughing and I genuinely generally wasn't asking about and trying to get a laugh I was trying to do a serious thing serious grown-up man space yeah and they just didn't know it was very obvious than mine it was cut I mean they had to keep me in because it was a sort of fairly you know part of the story with Brian Cox so actor you know he was great and was really helpful and nice he wasn't nasty at all because it was obvious I was completely rubbish but they're even doing running I was doing running through the streets being chased by a Chechen hitman played by Andy Serkis in so Petersburg oh it's all big numbers and that was again when the I mean it wasn't a big part it was a small part in a big drama now but when I did running that time in the you know proper dramatic running reels and I was doing trying to think god this guy's trying to kill me so I was like trying to get into part the crew were laughing their Russian crew so they funny board those really when you'll do it on you leg very funny how you do this and the director really really properly like in proper films got angry and pushed me on the ground and scream I mean really I was taking the piss he genuinely thought I was asking about and trying to get the crew to laugh with my ron i wasn't i was doing proper great grown up acting running me so it's very obvious that I was definitely not a very dramatic actor of any sort but now you I don't know whether you're you're not doing stand-up tours at the moment no like actual well I'm not really I mean I quite like to but there are two problems I'm too busy got any new material and I feel I can flog the same weird thing is that people would love it though that I mean I know exactly what you mean and you shouldn't do it I'm not suggesting you should but what I like is I like to lull them into a full sense of security with the five minutes new stuff at the tour right I do up to the ancient scriptures blow the dust off this particular guy okay let's risk it for a biscuit yeah but it is that I those are horrible feelings now I've certainly experienced that where I get some sort of weird echo in my head when I'm doing a sort of rubbish old he's not even joy because I don't do jokes but like an anecdote and I think then I already said this tonight yeah I know I know and I used to get that you know in the old days you sort of do four gigs a night yeah and I get to number four already here did I do that the last one it must be different when you do it to a you know like in the in the new days like when you do a tour where you're doing one shown it's just you and that yeah it's because you know they've cut they've paid to come and see you so you know you would hope that they are gonna like you a bit because they haven't forked out their hard-earned money to come and hate you whereas actually if you do kind of corporate events yeah they they don't normally know who they're getting no sometimes you'll go on stage and there's this sort of audible sigh of despair when they say it's the big letter from channel 4 and no you know Jimmy Carr yeah Jimmy count a nice nice neat suit exactly I mean my toughest one ever was the reinforced concrete health and safety awards because you couldn't you as they say in the trade you couldn't was amazing in Leicester where did the mother and baby Awards oh they have quite heavy security I said to this guy why is there so much security he said because there was a fight last year at the mother and baby a war have a punch-up yeah well I'm bit picky now so I only do I do computer e ones or engineering ones yeah and then I know one then I can know what to say so reinforced concrete I think a moment or chip ones the cake awards the deep-fried food product of the Year awards oh I see so it's nearly there excellent ok those thank you so much I like to think of my work things as social events rather than work exactly Jim Davidson had found I'm gonna big cowboy when you do it I wouldn't I think our game is extended I think he'd be very good um yeah body double maybe he's not too silly at ramming as you are you might you might better do really good foot running yes I reckon have you ever you've never actually met him Oh No thank God I wouldn't be able to stop myself assaulting him here I'm weighing now we've slagged each other off from behind the safety of a camera lens I designed I mean I've Foxley I've heard you mention him on more than one occasion but I didn't realise it was yeah actually that reminds me no I think which I want to quickly mention that before you get out there look at that we don't often do that but what is interesting is you're really good reviews on the back son Daily Express Daily Mail's Times Telegraph not exactly your left-wing wishy-washy little daily work no workers press or International Marxist group monthly review very impressive oh you're the right wing love you in the Tory Shire it's so crawling and this is you asked there now this is protective chamber because it's so posh exactly in an arcade it isn't an arcade all right all right I've have a lovely haircut our lovely Joe going to have a haircut in their posh old kingsroad who'da thought it would come to that marvellous very nice to see her again anyway car pool has run out of Road but do join me again next time [Music] [Music] you [Music]

Channel: carpoolUK

Views: 48,806

Rating: 4.9298244 out of 5

Keywords: Jo Brand, Carpool Jo, Brand, Car, Pool, Robert Llewellyn, Robert, Llewellyn, CarpoolUK, Live, Stand, Up, Corporate, Gigs, Touring, Writing, Novels, Radio, TV, Have I Got News For You, Haircut, Carpool, UK, Hybrid, Electric, Cars, Comedy, Talk, Show, Chat, Conversation

Id: B7_L1Jw38H4

Length: 18min 8sec (1088 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 28 2011

Reddit Comments

[u/accountII]

not very QI related, but the next series doesn't start for another few months and Jo is a large part of the show

[u/[deleted]]

It's pretty sad watching two people that used to make me laugh driving around talking about hairdressing.