Jim Gaffigan Explains Why Southerners Are Slow

[Music] finally someone my color is a no is this a diversity panel very nice you know the entertainment industry used to be all white men yeah and we submit I that it's changed a lot you're not just white you are I thought I was the whitest guy I'm the whitest guy most people have ever seen and then you come along I make you look Porto Rican yes you know what I am a hot latina so I so much to talk about first of all I know you are touring constantly you know that tour bus you're gonna run this great country of ours yes I love I love touring around doing stand-up and what are you learning what are you learning about this well you know this is a great country much better than Canada yeah I love Canada I do you know we did a tour in the southeast and I'll tell you the South you know people are nicer in the south they really are really I think they are and there's three people yeah but there's but they're slower and I don't mean intelligence wise they just move slow move more slowly right it's like hey your house is on fire I need to drink some sweet tea and I figured it out it's the biscuits and gravy that's it everyone in the south moves like they've just had two helpings nine-year old arm pretending they're eating biscuits and gravy for breakfast they're not coming home drunk and crazy late at night you know like Harley or anything they're waking up and saying time for cement lunch they're eating chicken and waffles you know that the South will never rise again because they don't have the energy most of their diet involves paper mache essentially eating pinata in the South they don't even try and hide that the reading unhealthy like on the menu you could be alright I'll have the bucket of butter and the salt stick yeah and they're like do you want a deep fried I'm like of course I do bitch do it I do it now I did it you uh you talk because I've known you many years you talk a lot about food you're fascinated by food I love food you know cuz I'm you know I'm fat too but I don't want to brag or anything but I have kind of an announcement congratulations on your show by the way but I you know I'm a little heavy but I'm also I'm preparing for a big role it's a cinnamon roll is important it is important I mean sharing a meal with someone that's intimacy right that's why it was called the Last Supper and not the last meeting right I mean Jesus was trying to get 12 guys together there had to be food right yeah Jesus was like tomorrow I'd like to get everyone together you know one of the Apostles like is there gonna be food there yes there will be food are we talking appetizers or like a full on it will be a supper so casual I can wear a robe right you know Jesus he was in amazing shape you know you see him in those paintings he looked great you know I mean and it's it's even more impressive because he looked great and he could multiply bread whenever he was you could be like boom pretzel bread yeah I mean the Bible doesn't really specify what type of bread he multiplied I imagine it was pretzel bread with pretzel bread boom garlic knots yeah couldn't assume that at all like if I multiply garlic knots right now you guys would be like maybe he's got yeah but what's even more you know who knows maybe Jesus could multiply bread but he didn't have any control over what type of bread it was yeah maybe it's like boom pumpernickel hold on a second boom melba toast that's never happened before boom sourdough hello ladies everyone loves sourdough oh it's good stuff

Channel: Team Coco

Views: 4,853,644

Rating: 4.790853 out of 5

Keywords: Celebrity Interviews, Jim Gaffigan, Conan O'Brien, Conan, Conan (TV Series), TBS (TV Channel), Team Coco

Id: swtJkovAP_k

Length: 4min 43sec (283 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 14 2013

Reddit Comments

[u/Mayday72]

That was hilarious! Thanks, never seen this before!

[u/greyetch]

Can confirm. I live in south carolina, food is awesome.