-It's great to see you.
I don't get to see you enough. -I know. I should be
on your TV show more. -Yeah, yeah.
Whenever you want, please. -It's on you.
-I want to -- I want to -- Yeah, I guess it is.
-Yeah. -There's lots to talk about,
but I do want to say congrats on -- I know you did a sequel
to "Zombieland." -Yes, yes, yes.
-And all the fans are buzzing. Congrats.
[ Cheers and applause ] Hopefully we'll have you back
when that comes out in... -Yeah.
-...in October. -Okay, great.
Then we'll be even. -How's Woody Harrelson? Is he --
-He's the best. He's, like, exactly
what you would expect. Like, an amazing fun,
nice, curious person. -You've done a bunch of films
with him. -Yeah, we did, like,
four movies together. You know, he's really like --
he's really like a borscht belt comic, but in
the body of somebody from Texas. [ Laughter ]
And so I think that's why he likes me 'cause he, like,
loves, like, nerdy Jewish jokes, basically.
[ Laughter ] But he's just like attractive
and has a twang. And so we're like -- We can't,
like, figure out, you know, who he is.
-But doesn't he -- doesn't he introduce people to,
like, famous friends of his and, like, hook people up?
-Yeah. -And he's, like, good at that.
He's gifted. -Yes, like, your day that you
described in England with, like, Paul -- he knows
all of those people. In fact, on the first
"Zombieland" -- like, the last day of filming
he said to Emma Stone, who's in the movie, "You know
who you'd be great friends with? Paul McCartney."
And she was like, "Oh, cool. Thanks.
Yeah. We should all hang out." [ Laughter ] And I was, like, sitting in the
car thinking like, "How does he know I would not
like Paul McCartney?" [ Laughter ]
And I mean, and I don't. I mean, I don't.
-You don't? -No, no.
I never got their music. -No, no, of course.
[ Laughter ] If course.
-Of course, of course. -I love The Beatles.
Yeah, we love Paul McCartney. -Obviously even if I didn't like
-- Yeah, of course. Even if I didn't like The
Beatles, he's English. -Who did he introduce you to?
-Oh, so, you know he's like, "Jesse, you should meet
my friend Oren Moverman." I was like,
"Is he in The Beatles, too?" He's like "No, no, no, no.
[ Laughter ] He's a writer
no one ever heard of who sits alone and he's
depressed like you." I said, "oh, okay. Great."
[ Laughter ] Like, anytime he goes to, like,
a rock concert or something, takes Emma. If he's going to, like,
a bar mitzvah, takes me. [ Laughter ]
-That's very thoughtful of him. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-I want to -- I want to talk about
your new film. This is a very cool take on,
I guess an action movie, or I guess so. It's called
"The Art of Self-Defense." -Yeah.
-And it's like a cool take on a sports movie.
-Yeah, kind of. It, like, takes like, the sports
movie genre and kind of, like, twists it on its head to be
like a brilliant satire of, like, masculinity. So, like, my character
is this kind of, like, meek, timid guy who gets attacked
on the street. So I sign up for this karate
class to learn self-defense. And then the movie just turns
into this bizarre satire on, like, cults and
the absurdity of, like, you know, crazed masculinity. -Do you --
Do you know karate at all? Did you have to learn it
for the role? -Like, everything you see in the
movie is, like, the very extent of what I know.
[ Laughter ] Which is to say,
no, I'm not good at it. -Yeah, no.
[ Laughter ] But you have to look, like,
a little bit like you know what you're doing? Right?
Kind of? Well, I guess you're learning
in the movie. -I'm like a yellow belt.
And, like, I had, like, three weeks of intense training
with, like, one of the best martial artists
in the world. This woman, Mindy Kelly. And it was, like, stressful because she was trying to, like,
train me to be great like her, which I don't know how she
didn't realize I would never, you know, be good even.
[ Laughter ] And by the end of the training,
I just said to her, you know, "Listen, I'm a yellow belt. I don't have to be good
in this movie at all." And then she was like,
"Okay, okay, that's fine." So we stopped.
-Yeah. -Then I finally got a break.
[ Laughter ] -You got -- but everyone else,
it's great. And if seen -- if you've seen
your scenes in the movie, you look like you know
what you're doing? -Yes, I do. I do, I do. -And you have your own
action figure. I don't know if you know this.
-I -- they told me, "You're gonna have
an action figure." I said, "This is amazing." So, like, every young boy
in America is gonna have an action figure
of me. And they said, "No, no, no.
We're making 10." [ Laughter ] I said like "10? 10?
How do you know?" And they were like, "Well, we --
we're actually aiming high. We gauged the interest,
and we think 10 is enough." [ Laughter ]
-You think -- "We did the research."
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -"We're hoping we can sell
10 of them." -Yeah, exactly.
-Well, I happen to have one of them right here.
-I've actually not seen it. -You have not seen this? You guys want to see
the action figure? [ Cheers and applause ] Quest, drum roll please.
Drum roll. -Yes.
[ Drum roll ] -"The Art of Self-Defense." Here's Jesse Eisenberg's action
figure. Wow. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -Can I see it?
-That's for real, man. -This is amazing.
-That's unbelievable, right? -Yeah, that's really -- we
actually -- we weigh the same. Yeah.
-Yeah, we weigh -- [ Laughter ]
-You know what made me laugh? It says --
-What? -"With fists -- fist kicking
and foot punching action." -Yes, like the bare minimum
of action. -Yeah. But it has action there.
-Yeah. -Yeah, no, it's not
gonna do those things. [ Laughter ]
Yeah, it's this, like, cool small company,
Death By -- Death by Toys. -Yeah.
-And they make, like, limited batch action figures. -That's one of 10 action
figures. -Yeah.
-That's you, buddy. -Now there's only 9 left, sorry.
-I mean -- [ Laughter ]
-It does look -- I mean, can we --
-Yeah. -Do we have a shot of it?
-Uncanny. It's uncanny. -It's unbelievable.
[ Laughter ] -Yeah.
-That is amazing. -Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ] Yeah.
-Congratulations. -Thank you, so much.
-That's a big deal.
