( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
NOW, FOLKS, MY FIRST GUEST IS THE MAN RESPONSIBLE FOR
"SEINFELD" AND "COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE." HIS NEW NETFLIX SPECIAL IS
"JERRY BEFORE SEINFELD." >> SO I'M LEFT-HANDED. LEFT-HANDED PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE
THAT THE WORD "LEFT" IS SO OFTEN ASSOCIATED WITH NEGATIVE
THINGS-- TWO LEFT FEET, LEFT-HANDED COMPLIMENT, WHAT ARE
WE HAVING FOR DINNER, LEFTOVERS. YOU GO TO A PARTY, THERE'S
NOBODY THERE. WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO? THEY LEFT. >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK
TO THE SHOW JERRY SEINFELD! ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ) ( APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪ >> THANK YOU! THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I-- I LIKE THIS SHOW. >> Stephen: YOU LIKE THIS
SHOW. >> I LIKE THIS SHOW. I WATCH THIS SHOW A LOT. >> Stephen: YOU DO? >> YEAH, I DO, I REALLY DO. >> Stephen: I'M HONORED. >> THAT'S NICE. ( LAUGHTER )
MY FAVORITE PART OF THE SHOW IS THE UNCOMFORTABLE GREETING AT
THE STAIR WHEN THE GUEST COMES OUT. >> Stephen: OH, ME, TOO. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO
HAPPEN. >> IS IT HARDER WITH MEN OR WITH
WOMEN? >> Stephen: IT'S EASIER WITH
MEN BECAUSE, GENERALLY, IT'S A HANDSHAKE AND A LITTLE, LIKE,
AWKWARD BUMP. BUT WITH-- BUT WITH MY FEMALE
GUESTS, I DON'T KNOW WHO IS COMFORTABLE WITH A HUG, WHO
WANTS-- IS OKAY WITH A PECK ON THE CHEEK. IF IT'S A EUROPEAN ACTOR OR
ACTRESS, YOU KISS ON TWO WEEKS. >> I KNOW, I WATCH THAT-- THAT'S
THE HARDEST-- I'M FASCINATED BY YOUR AWKWARDNESS IN THAT MOMENT
( LAUGHTER ). >> Stephen: SO AM I. AND SOMETIMES I SAY BACKSTAGE,
"SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?" YOU IDENTIFIED RIGHT THERE. >> WHEN I CAME OUT I SAID, "WHAT
DO YOU WANT?" >> Stephen: AND I SAID HOW
ABOUT A GENTLE LITTLE HUG. >> WE RECEIVED THE SOPRANO
TWO-HIT. REMEMBER THEY WOULD DO THAT ON
THE "SOPRANOS." >> Stephen: I DON'T REMEMBER
THAT. >> THEY WOULD MEET AND IT WAS
TWO HITS ON THE SHOULDER BLADE, AND THAT WAS ALL "SOPRANOS"
MEETINGS. REALLY? NOBODY, "SOPRANOS? >> Stephen: THAT WAS WELL
STUDIED. THE GUY PAID ATTENTION TO HOW
UNCOMFORTABLE I AM. >> THAT'S THE ONLY THING I'M
INTERESTED IN -- >> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU'VE
HEARD EVERY JOKE IN THE WORLD. THERE'S NO JOKE YOU HAVEN'T
HEARD. >> I LIKE AWKWARDNESS. I LIKE PEOPLE NOT FEELING GOOD. I LIKE THAT. >> Stephen: I DO, TOO. I LIKE PUTTING MYSELF IN AWKWARD
SITUATIONS AND KIND OF HUFFING THE DISCOMFORT. >> THAT'S COMEDY. YOU FIND THE COMEDY THERE. >> Stephen: GOING INTO AN
ELEVATOR AND SINGING, LIKE JIMMY BUFFET IN A CROWDED ELEVATOR
DOESN'T GO OVER WELL. >> WHO WAS IT-- I THINK IT WAS
JEFF ALTMAN-- DO YOU KNOW JEFF ALTMAN. >> Stephen: I DO KNOW HIM BUT
I DON'T. >> IF YOU GET ON AN ELEVATOR
WITH HIM AND IT'S JUST THE TWO OF YOU AND SOMEBODY ELSE COMES
IN, HE WILL SAY, "SO I SAID TO MY DOCTOR, 'WHY AM I VOMITING UP
SO MUCH PUSS? '" THAT'S WHAT HE WOULD DO TO
YOU IN THE ELEVATOR AND WANT PERSON IN THERE WOULD FREAK OUT. OH, MY GOD. IT IS SO VILE. EVERY WORD IN THERE IS SO VILE. >> Stephen: SURE. WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING-- I
LIKE-- I LIKE THE LEANING INTO THE AWKWARDNESS-- THAT'S COMEDY
TO ME BECAUSE I HAD A VERY AWKWARD CHILDHOOD. LIKE, YOU SAW THE PHOTO OF ME
BEING AN AWKWARD CHILD OUT HERE. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT
REVISITING BEFORE YOU WERE FAMOUS JERRY SEINFELD, WHEN YOU
WERE A WORK COMEDIAN-- >> I WASN'T WORKING. >> Stephen: YOU WEREN'T
WORKING? >> WELL, I WAS PERFORMING, BUT
WORKING IS YOU GETTING MONEY. I WAS TRYING-- TRYING TO BE A
COMEDIAN. >> Stephen: SO THAT JOKE WE
HEARD YOU SAY IN THE-- IN THE LEAD-IN, WHEN I WAS ANNOUNCING
YOU, YOU DIDN'T GET PAID FOR THAT JOKE? >> NO. I DID JUST RECENTLY BECAUSE IT'S
ON THE NETFLIX SPECIAL. >> Stephen: THIS IS LITERALLY
THE MATERIAL YOU WERE WORKING ON WHEN YOU TRIED TO BREAK IN. >> THIS WAS THE MATERIAL I WROTE
FROM MY BEDROOM WHEN I GREW UP TO THE FIRST TIME I GOT ON
JOHNNY CARSON. EVERYTHING THAT GOT ME THROUGH
THE CLUBS, THROUGH ALL THAT HIERARCHY, THROUGH ALL THAT, YOU
KNOW, LITTLE STRUGGLE-- WHICH WASN'T A STRUGGLE TO ME BECAUSE
I LOVED IT. I WAS IN IT. I JUST WANTED TO BE IN IT. BUT THAT WAS THE JOKE I WROTE ON
A PIECE OF PAPER AND I SAID IT TO TWO FRIENDS IN COLLEGE, AND I
READ IT TO THEM. I SAID, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
THIS?" AND THEY SAID, "THAT'S FUNNY." EVERYBODY LAUGHED. AND THEY SAID, "THAT'S FUNNY." AND IT'S THE FIRST TIME I
THOUGHT, "MAYBE I COULD BE A COMEDIAN." >> Stephen: DID YOU SHARE
THAT. HOW LONG HAD YOU BEEN
HUSBANDING-- >> THAT'S WHERE I START GLD HOW
LONG HAD YOU BEEN HUSBANDING THAT DREAM? >> "HUSBANDING?"
>> Stephen: IT'S A TERM-- >> IT'S LIKE GIVING BIRTH TO A
CALF. >> Stephen: HOW LONG HAD YOU
BEEN NURTURING? HOW LONG HAD YOU BEEN NURTURING
THAT DREAM OF BEING A COMEDIAN? >> IN MY MIND PERSONALLY. >> Stephen: YES. >> PROBABLY SEVEN, EIGHT YEARS
OLD. >> Stephen: REALLY? >> YEAH, WHEN I WAS A LITTLE
KID-- WHEN I FIRST SAW COMEDIANS ON TV-- I THINK I FIRST
MENTIONED THIS IN THE SHOW, I FROZE SOLID. I SAID THAT GUY JUST STANDS
THERE BY HIMSELF AND TELLS JOKES? THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I HAVE
SEEN. >> Stephen: DID YOUR MOTHER
LET YOU STAY UP AND WATCH THE COMED OONS CARSON? >> YES. >> Stephen: WHEN WE WERE KIDS
THAT WAS THE ONLY PLACE YOU COULD SEE THEM. >> THE SULLIVAN SHOW. >> Stephen: HERE IN THIS
BUILDING, THE SULLIVAN SHOW. MY MOM WOULD LET ME STAY UP IF
JOHN BIENER OR DAVID BRERN -- >> Stephen: DID YOU LIKE
STAND-UP COMIC? >> Stephen: OH, YES. I NEVER DID IT, STAND-UP. >> IT'S A CERTAIN GENE, AN
ANIMALISTIC GENE THAT PUSHES YOU TO TAKE THAT RISK, I THINK. >> Stephen: WHEN YOU WERE A
KID AND SAID, "I WANT TO DO THIS?"
WHO WAS THE COMEDIAN. >> THE COMEDIAN WAS BILL CAUSE
BEE. >> Stephen: WONDERFULNESS. >> WHY IS THERE AIR? GREATEST-- WHAT'S WORD-- BODY OF
WORK, I THINK, IN COMEDY IS HIS. >> Stephen: YOU CAN STILL
LISTEN TO HIS COMEDY? >> OH, YEAH. >> Stephen: YEAH, I GREW UP ON
HIS STUFF. I THINK HE SAVED MY LIFE. >> RIGHT. >> Stephen: BECAUSE WHEN I WAS
A KID, I HAD A TRAGEDY IN MY LIFE, BUT FOR THE NEXT TWO YEARS
I LISTENED TO BILL COSBY ALBUMS EVERY NIGHT BEFORE I WENT TO
BED. I WOULD HIDE THE SPEAKERS UNDER
MY PILLOW SO MY MOM COULDN'T HEAR IT. YOU COULD DROP A NEEDLE EYE
CAN'T LISTEN TO IT NOW. >> YOU CAN'T. >> Stephen: NO, I CAN'T
SEPARATE IT. >> YOU CAN'T? >> Stephen: BECAUSE THERE'S
LOVE THERE. THERE'S LOVE-- THERE'S LOVE
THERE. >> I KNOW, IT'S TRAGIC. >> Stephen: YEAH. >> BUT COMEDY-- THERE'S A LOT OF
TRAGEDY IN COMEDY -- >> Stephen: THERE'S COMEDY
BECAUSE OF TRAGEDY. >> THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO
HAVE TRAGIC LIVES. >> Stephen: SURE. >> I KNOW. THE JERRY LEWIS THING HE DIDN'T
INCLUDE ANY OF HIS SONS IN THE WELL. HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT? >> Stephen: KIND OF HILARIOUS
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, DENIED THEM MONEY, THAT'S
NOT THE SAME THING AS SLIPPING THEM A ROOFY. >> THAT UPSET ME BECAUSE I
ADOREDDED JERRY LEWIS. BUT I'M NOT GOING TO NOT WATCH
THE BELL BOW. >> Stephen: "SAILOR BEWARE,"
ONE OF THE FUNNIEST MOVIES. >> I NEVER SAW THAT. >> Stephen: I TAUGHT MYSELF
SOME OF THE MOVES FROM "SAILOR BEWARE" WHEN I WAS A KID. >> WE WANT TO SEE YOU DO THEM
SOME DAY. >> Stephen: SOME DAY. >> NOT NOW. POLISH IT UP A LITTLE. >> Stephen: WAS THERE SOMEBODY
WHO GAVE YOU THE BENEDICTION-- I DON'T MEAN TO DO THIS TO YOU. BUT WAS THERE SOMEBODY--
>> I DON'T MIND. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) WELL, YES, THERE WAS A GUY-- I
DON'T KNOW IF THE AUDIENCE REMEMBERS JACKIE MASON. >> Stephen: SURE. >> OKAY, SO JACKIE MASON-- WHEN
I HAD JUST WROTE THAT "LEFT" JOKE. I STARTED GOING AND SAYING--
COULDN'T EVEN GO TO THE CLUBS THAT HAD ENTERTAINMENT. THERE WERE RESTAURANTS THAT
WOULD HAVE, LIKE, AN OPEN-MIC TALENT NIGHT AND I COULD GET ON
THERE. AND JACKIE MASON WAS IN THE
AUDIENCE. I WAS DOING IT, LIKE, TWO
WEEKS-- AND THIS IS ALL TRUE. AND HE CAME OVER TO ME AT THE
BAR, AFTER THE SHOW, AND HE SAID, "YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO
SUCCESSFUL, IT MAKES ME SICK." ( LAUGHTER )
AND WE-- AND I DIDN'T KNOW REALLY EVEN WHAT HE MEANT, YOU
KNOW. BECAUSE I THOUGHT HOW COULD HE
EVEN SEE ANYTHING? I DIDN'T EVEN-- I COULD BARELY
SPEAK. AND FROM THEN ON, AND I'VE KNOWN
HIM FOR MANY YEARS SINCE THEN. YEAH, THAT WAS TWO WEEKS IN. THAT WAS A VERY BIG DAY IN MY
LIFE. >> Stephen: THAT IS GREAT. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND YOUR
DAD HAD THIS SAYING CALLED, "BREAK A FACE." THAT WAS IN SALES, RIGHT? >> YEAH, THAT WAS IN CASE. >> Stephen: WHAT DOES "BREAK A
FACE" MEAN? >> HE WOULD TALK TO A GUY HE
KNEW HE WASN'T GOING TO SELL TO THE GUY, THEY HAD FACE LIKE A
ROCK, AND HE JUST WANTED TO BREAK THAT FACE, YOU KNOW. JUST SAY SOMETHING TO THE GUY
THAT WOULD MAKE HIM LAUGH. IT WAS EVEN BETTER TO HIM THAN
GETTING THE SALE. HE REALLY HAD A GREAT COMEDIC
GIFT HIMSELF. >> Stephen: DID HE-- DID HE
TEACH YOU HOW TO BREAK THE FACE? DID HE TEACH YOU JOKES AS A KID. >> I DON'T KNOW IF HE COULD
TEACH IT, BUT HE WAS A GREAT JOKE TELLER. ONE OF THE JOKES HE USED TO TELL
ME, A MAN COMES HOME, HIS WIFE IS IN BED, HE GOES INTO THE
BATHROOM THERE'S ANOTHER MAN BEHIND THE SHOWER CURTAIN AND HE
SAYS TO HIM, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
AND THE MAN SAYS, "EVERYBODY'S GOT TO BE SOMEWHERE." ( LAUGHTER )
I LIKE THAT JOKE. >> Stephen: AS A CHILD, DID
YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT JOKE WAS ABOUT? >> NO, NO. ( LAUGHTER ). >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
BREAK. WHEN WE COME BACK I'M GOING TO
FIND OUT WHAT ANNOYS YOU. >> OKAY, THAT'S EASY. >> Stephen: JERRY SEINFELD,
EVERYBODY.
I remember this discussion. It's basically the conundrum if the art is any less valuable if the artist is a terrible person. Jerry was on one side, and Stephen was on the other. I don't know that there is a right answer on this, but I appreciate both takes. Stand up is a bit different than music or other forms of artistic expression because it usually comes directly from the comedian's experience so it's harder to separate out.
Is Naked Gun no longer funny because OJ is in it? Is Thriller no longer a great album because of the Michael Jackson allegations? Are the accomplishments of the Cosby Show no longer valid at all because he's a horrible human being? Tough questions...
I remember this interview. Colbert had to tread carefully during the first block, then during the commercial he spoke to Jerry and said something to change his tune.
Well Seinfeld also dated a 17 year old when he was 39 sooooo
I think he’s a funny man, not a good one.
Seinfeld is a ticking time bomb
Go watch the Seth Rogen episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (on Netflix) where they discuss Cosby, and not in the more serious tone I would have expected.
In this video, Seinfeld doesn’t say he was more bothered by Jerry Lewis. He also doesn’t trivialize what Cosby did, IMO. He merely questioned why Colbert couldn’t enjoy Cosby’s comedy anymore.
Jerry Seinfeld has been a longtime
Cosbyrape apologist.