Jeff Ross @ Hugh Hefner's Friars Club Lifetime Achievement Induction Presentation

Video Statistics and Information

Video

Captions Word Cloud

Captions

how about a hand for your host Larry King everybody thanks Bob you always say nice things about it we've done a few of these together and you're always a little less funny each time this isn't a roast but if it was a roast later on I would say Larry King is too comedy what Martin Luther King is too comedy I'm trying I love you guys already no matter what happens this is my fifth or sixth Friars roast Anna I was here last year it's always a lot of fun I'm pretty proud as a lot of young faces in the club here and in the club in New York and we need that I'm part of I'm proud to be part of this resurgence of young blood we needed it just a couple years ago if you walked in the Friars there were no children but yet there was still a diaper changing station in the men's room our secret handshake looked like this I realize a lot of you don't know me but if you never seen me before you should know that I'm chairman of the young fryers committee I'm also chairman of the Blackfriars and Hispanic fryers committee mr. Hefner Hugh I'm going to call you for the sake of the roast you know the fryers only roast the ones we love and to be the guest of honor to roast like this really is like getting the Academy Award of comedy it really is a special night my one regret is that the great Tony Curtis isn't alive to see this Larry you're a gambler what's the over-under on Tony Curtis funny right god bless him Tony cars everybody a man who's been acting so long his sag number is three Tony Curtis joins sag when it was still called firm a lot of people don't realize this but early in his career Tony performed the works of Shakespeare he also taught Shakespeare and attended Shakespeare's Bar Mitzvah look at this place Tony Curtis Jack Carter red buttons I've seen younger faces on cash this isn't a roaster to rot I feel like the patch on an old pair of corduroys seriously all kidding aside it's nice to be here at the Hollywood Wax Museum before I get to a hue or The Wrestler dais I just want to talk for a moment about the boyish good looks of Larry King or as Ted Turner calls him The Hunchback of CNN poor Larry as Hebrew name is yes this is the face that made Ellen gay Lari all kidding aside you're married again your wife is gorgeous you're gonna be a she's gonna have your grandson in a couple of months all I ask is that things are good for you I want you to take care of yourself I really do no more heart attacks for years when I heard the name Larry King I was reminded of some other Kings such as drinking and smoking I know you're in a great relationship now you have cute little pet names for each other you call her your fuzzy little teddy bear and she calls you big old cash machine I hope this one works out you've been married what five six times Larry doesn't go to bars to meet chicks he goes to temp agencies his last ceremony was conducted by Mills Lane to him to him anyway President Clinton couldn't be here tonight he's house-sitting for Hugh milton berle couldn't make it tonight but his penis is backstage signing autographs the man who put the word cock in Alda caca rich little that was amazing that was great I never saw you alive before and I was really great if this were a roast if this were a roast I would say that rich little a man I grew up watching until I was old enough to realize he wasn't funny no stop it where's Martin Landau he's my all-time favorite how are you pal one of the best actors in the world everybody Edwards one of my favorite films really is but that last one rounders I got a bomb sorry pal that movie left the theater so bad wait I fucked it up hold on that rounders that movie left the theaters so fast they held a premiere to Blockbuster it's still playing well there you go that nobody knows it I'm only teasing Joe vitarelli how are you pal I love you how you doing pal I'm not going to make fun of Joe vitarelli because seriously uh what can you say about Joe Vito a leader has already been said by some guy in the witness protection program put nine fingers all kidding aside Joe vitarelli is my favorite actor or else red buttons is going to coming up in a short while the man I worship a living legend everybody red buttons a man who's been doing comedy so long he lost to Mark Twain on Star Search a man has been doing comedy so long he's his own influence he was nominated to the club by Friar Tuck god bless you sir I don't know if you remember this but the first time I saw red buttons was back in New York I was walking around downtown and you never know what you're going to see in New York I saw I saw red buttons in an antique shop eight hundred bucks and gnorm Crosby today I was awesome you destroyed pal one of my idols a living legend a man who's been doing comedy so long he did the Ed Sullivan Show pilot his jokes are so old the punchlines are in Latin now let's talk for a second about the great Hugh Hefner as I called him in high school in most of college my right-hand man shake the hand pal oh wait it's the left hold on I said ah look at this crowd Hugh Hefner is around beautiful women all the time folks this is not a big night for Hugh Hefner this is a big night for me I nearly had an orgasm when I got the invitation I never I'm hung like a tic-tac I have an innie if I get excited I get a stomachache you have to score so easy he fantasizes about dinner and a movie you're a Ladykiller you really are you're a heartbreaker one of your girlfriends once told me you have to is such a putz viagra makes them taller you congratulations on everything thanks for being a good sport and because of people like you pushing the envelope with the with the free speech it enables people like me to do what I do and I appreciate it and God bless

Info

Channel: kidofallkids

Views: 1,093,867

Rating: 4.6713181 out of 5

Keywords: roast, friars club, los angeles, hef, hefner, Jeff Ross

Id: Ry6XtI-QLyg

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 9min 17sec (557 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 10 2016

Reddit Comments