Jeanne Robertson | Don't Hire a Hit Man

another place that I love to look for humor is in my family I said have said something in my five previous DVDs that that's gone over fairly well and so I just do it in everyone it's sort of a test of the intelligence of the audience so if you get right now I am 65 years old you're not as sharp as I thought you were I want you to gasp in disbelief and maybe say no way so let's try it again I am 65 years old I appreciate that but even at this age I am trying my best to stay technologically savvy and it's a challenge if I thought I could just go on through life and not get involved with all this stuff I would but I really like email let me just tell you I think I'm doing fairly well at my age I have a website left-brain and I studied with her what can we name it what can we name it and he came up with Jeanne Robertson dot-com very good very good and then I'm cutting this DVD here and it'll be on CD and guess what else all of my stories are on the internet one story at a time so it means you can download that story off the internet we can't we can't do that because we don't know how to download and we don't own a pod I don't know what the part is and I don't even Twitter so I don't know I don't know what's going on but then I think I'm pretty cutting-edge to have you go to itunes expecting to get a song we'll look here we can hear this story right here well guess what else last summer we put two stories up on YouTube now there may be some bad stuff on YouTube but there's some good stuff on there too and so I had my guru person put two stories on there for people just watch for free just sit there and watch them for free and as soon as she called me and said the stories are up I went down and I typed in y-o-u to ube tube dot-com they had a clever person write their name to me you better and I came up because I typed in Jeanne Robertson and there I was oh my gosh there it is then I looked over the other side of the page and it said if you like this person you may like these and I knew these people but they had one woman on there a woman whom I know and she had a hundred and eleven thousand hits holy cow then another one had 69 thousand I looked down honey I don't have any so I said well I'll show you and I hit the button and I came on and I watched myself for two minutes and 37 seconds and I had one hit I hit it again and I watched myself again I did this till it was up to 17 hits and think about how much time I had sat there just hitting myself doing this did not know it but my longtime administrative professional Tony Meredith sitting right here we were talking together I didn't know it but she had come in the back way and come in this door and we're standing behind me watching me finally she scared me to death she said I can't believe you are doing what I think you're doing I said you scared me to death creep in behind me like this she said are you running up your hits on YouTube I don't believe tell me you are not running up your hits on YouTube I said okay I'll tell you I'm not running up my head it's on YouTube as much stuff as we have got to do in this office and you leaving the town again and you're sitting here wasting your time doing this I said well look look look look look all these people that we know look up she said they've been on for years it says right here they've been on this thing for II get it I said well I just I'm just sitting here she said I don't think you that you could do this but if you're going to Genie man may give you a piece of advice you don't have to hit it and watch yourself you hit it and move the cursor to the end that's real good Tony she said I'm not kidding you just sit they do what you could but I don't think you ought to do it I said you're right I'm not wasting my time forget the whole thing I cut it off she left she gone out got in the car I thought I saw it go out of the driveway I came back cut that thing on his hip he didn't know it but Tony got the car out into the road parked it okay he's tipping tipping back around through trees coming in so I wouldn't see her and she came back in the door and she was standing behind me again and I was going she said coach you I can't believe it all right Tony I said let me just ask you something is this unprofessional she said no I don't guess it's unprofessional I said all right let me ask you something else is it unethical she said no I guess if push came to shove it's not unethical and then she said something like stabbing a knife into the heart of any southern woman she said I think it's tacky [Applause] I promise you Prime not doing it I will not do this again and she left and when she was gone and I was sure of it I picked up that phone called my 14 year old grandson Ryder and hired him to do it all right I said Ryder this is Nene now look for so much money told him what I wanted he said sure Nene I'll do it if you need it don't I'll be glad to do it he said what is it and I said I'll give you so much money per hundred head now he was 13 last summer so he's a smart good guy he hung up the phone hired his little brother gray to do it for half price all summer long I forgot about it but down there in Georgia doing this I totally forgot about it until the first day of school when I told him I'd settle up and Dana Cole I got a great deal all right here Dana she said Jeanne I think we need to talk about something I didn't what you want to hear a great Donald oh no what have I done she said did you promise the boy some kind of money on the first they're under the impression you have him for over 50,000 hits oh my I totally forgot it they've been doing this she said I'm gonna let you settle up with him that's not why I call I picked up gray at school today was the first day of school and the teacher said don't let me talk to you just a minute and she said fine said when we asked gray what he had done this summer he said he went to the beach and he went to basketball camp and he had had a go and every day his big brother Ryder paid him to hit his grandmother I said Oh Dana I'm sorry I didn't even think about telling you I totally forgot it I know you're not upset because she has a great sense of humor she said oh no I'm not saying oh well I'm calling about is I want in on the deal [Applause] you

Channel: JeanneRobertson

Views: 1,659,528

Keywords: jeanne robertson, clean comedy, christian comedy, southern humor, humorist, storyteller, funny lady, don't send a man to the grocery store, don't bungee jump naked

Id: 6Zlj77cn4TI

Length: 8min 36sec (516 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 12 2018