I've Lied To You For A Year...

[Music] what's up you guys welcome back to the channel that you so much for clicking on today's video so today is definitely going to be a little bit different for me I'm really excited to record this video but at the same time I'm really nervous mainly just because I really want to put out I just hope that people understand what I'm trying to say in it because I feel like if you go one of two ways and I really want people to just understand what I've been struggling with recently and just understand why I've kind of put myself in the position that I'm in because I'm definitely 100% this is a position that I put myself in so basically for the past year I feel like I've haven't been truthful to you guys on this channel I feel like I've been lying and I feel like I've been playing a part that really isn't Who I am and this video is a way for me to try and explain why I've been doing that and hopefully explain what will be happening in the future what I want to change in the future and you know just honestly explain myself and why I did what I've done purposefully not with malicious intent but you know something that I did on purpose to try and put a persona out there that just honestly wasn't true so before we talk about what's been happening this past year I think it makes sense to kind of just go back to the start and and talk about how I got to where I am now right so this channel started about four to five years ago which is crazy to think but it's it's been a while and the reason that I started the channel was to share my journey that was like the main reason was to share my journey share my weight loss journey when I started the channel I had pretty much lost most of my weight but I was still you know in the thick of it like towards the end of my first initial weight loss right and for me it was really cool to be able to share what I was eating and be really honest and show you guys exactly what my diet was like because that was a question I would get so much and share just share the thing right like the video that that dot this channel to blow up was me being very honest about my lose skin and being very candid with you guys and that's something that I've always wanted to continue doing and that's a that made this channel grow I write was me being very honest so through the years I was able to share what I was eating l something it was really important because I've always said weight loss is 95% guy right so I was able to share what I was eating what my training looked like all that and I was able to be really really honest with you guys and that's something that I wanted to continue doing for you know as long as this channel was up fast-forward a little bit and this is honestly something and I'm just realizing as I'm making this video I did that men's physique show about two years ago now a little bit over two years ago and I think that's when though I don't want to say lies started but that's when I started to maybe not be as open and honest about my food and about what I've been eating as I was in the past so when I did the min sneak show I had to be I wasn't super restrictive like the lowest that I got in calories was about 2100 which for other people doing shows that's actually pretty high but for me it felt really low and I would try to that's when I started noticing myself kind of maybe not exactly showing what I was eating and maybe not exactly being completely honest about my diet because for me I think all of this stems from and this is something that I've been thinking about for a long time I've been talking to family members trying to decide if I'm gonna make this video but I think it all stems from a genuine respect for you guys and for the platform that I have and I understand the people that are following me I understand that most people watching these videos are people that are desperately trying to lose weight right and I as someone that has made a platform and has all these people that are following me I feel this need and this responsibility or like a duty to be at the best influence that I can on people right and show people how to lose weight in the healthiest way possible how'd it be as you know just be as good of an influence on others as I possibly can and the bigger that my channel grew the more I felt like that and so when all of this stuff was happening when I did the physique show I was I know that I wasn't eating the healthiest I know that I wasn't eating really enough because I had to get as lean as physically possible for that show and that's when I think I had a switch in my mind of being like okay it's good to be honest but at the same time you want to be a good influence and you would be the person that you want these people to become right like I want to be the the best example for you guys as I possibly could and I realized that through that physique show I wasn't doing that but I still wanted to put that persona out there so that's what I started doing I started not being very honest about what I was eating how many calories I was eating how much I was working out because when I did the physique show I was doing so much cardio and I was I was kind of honest like I did a peak week video and I did videos every day for the last week and I was pretty honest there but other than that like I tried to kind of hide how much I had to Train because I knew that it wasn't feasible for most people that would be watching my channel so if we fast forward to you know when I first started CrossFit this was a huge moment in my life right as you guys probably have noticed on the chantry I started completely changed how I made videos and stuff like that because of how much I genuinely enjoyed doing crossfit it literally did switch I made a post recently on my on my Instagram where I talked about how for a long time I identified obviously as an obese person right for the first 20 years of my life I was the funny fat guy that's what identified that and then for a long time like right when I started making my channel making videos I identified as the person that used to be the funny fat guy and in my head I was like I need to do everything I can to not go back to that place and that's what the channel kind of started us me sharing my journey of not going back to being obese but then once I started CrossFit and once I got into that and I started completely reeling my life and changing how I was lifting and how I was working out and and the way that I looked at fitness my identity and how I viewed myself completely changed I started viewing myself as an athlete and I think mentally it was one of the best changes that's ever happened to me internally because I was no longer afraid of ever becoming the funny fat guy again like I was never I wasn't afraid of gaining weight back and for me that was a huge huge huge win in my relationship with food right now it's genuinely better than it's ever been in my life and it has it's never been better and I never thought I would get to this point but as that happened I started almost having guilt because of this sounds crazy and I hope that you guys can understand where I'm coming from but because of how much food I was eating I felt guilty because I didn't want to share that with you guys because I understand most of my following most of you guys are people that are trying to lose weight and again it stems from the respect I have for my platform and it stems from me trying to be the best example I can for those of you guys out there that are trying to lose weight so I started to have this internal battle of do I share what I'm really eating do I share my real life or do I try and cater to the people that are following me and I've had this internal battle going on for the past basically for the past two years since I've been doing crossfit something that I used to do a lot of on the channel was full day of innings right that was something that was just kind of popular a few years ago anyways and if you've noticed I have not been doing very many of them at all in the past year year and a half and the reason that I just stayed is why that's happened because and this is this is hard to say because I feel like a fraud but because the past few full day of eating's I've done I've been completely lied to the to you guys I've completely lied and that doesn't feel good it doesn't make me happy but at the same time like I wasn't lying to try and hide something that I was ashamed of it was something I was actually really proud of my relationship with who how much I was eating and I was able to maintain the body right but I at the same time I respected you guys in the platform and and I understand that the people that are following me are trying to lose weight so I always tried to cater to that so in reality like I would do full day of eating's and that day I'm actually eating about 4,000 calories right like that I've been eating around 4,000 calories every day for the past I don't know for the past like year and for me that's a huge win and I understand people watching this like 4000 counters that so much but with my activity level with how much I work out with everything with my size now I weigh 200 pounds I'm not a small person that's the amount of calories that I need to eat to maintain my body but I would go on these full day of eating's and I would literally like make food show it to the camera and then I would eat like a full 800 calories off-camera not show it not talk about it and people would comment like how are you eating this little and I would feel bad because I knew that I was lying but again like it wasn't because I wasn't lying because I was trying to like hide something that I was like ashamed of which it's so hard to explain it was something that I was proud of but at the same time again the respect that I have and the respect to have for the platform and for the people that are following me I was nervous that if I showed how much I was really eating I would maybe make people think that they should be eating that much too when in reality I'm just in a different point in life now it's like I'm no longer the person that's losing weight I'm no longer the person that used to be overweight like I view myself as an athlete that's it it's not somebody that used to look B 360 pounds like obviously I will always remember where I started and where I came from but the reason I feel like this is because I never want to use the excuse of I used to be 360 pounds so I shouldn't I don't need to push any further I don't need to get any better like I always want to be moving forward right I always want to be moving forward going for another goal going for something else not saying well you know like I mean I could move faster forward and maybe do some more stuff but me look how far I've come so I should be kind of happy where I am right now again I'm always going to respect where I started and I'll always make videos for people that are trying to lose weight but I don't want to hold myself back because of my past so I said before I'm currently eating like 4,000 calories I train two times a day four times a week I take one rest day off and like that's my life I love training and I almost felt I think part of it was like I felt guilty as well because where I started in life like my mom worked at Walmart I was taken away from my mom when I was young we lived in section 8 housing we had food stamps like I didn't have many opportunities and this channel you guys have given me all these opportunities to be able to train as much as I do to be able to make these videos to be able to make a living off of this and it's almost like I feel guilty because of that because it's like if I'm filming a video and say I'm filming all day right and I don't feel like I'm grinding hard enough and like people don't see how hard I'm working in a video I don't want to make it because I don't want people to think that I'm being lazy and I don't want people to think that I'm I'm like just coasting on and like just like literally have like this fantastic life where I don't have to work at all when in reality like I worked really hard but it's just different than what I used to do right when I started the channel a lot of you guys that have been here from the beginning remember when I to wake up at 3:00 a.m. when I worked at Starbucks on my break I'm having a skinny vanilla latte and then I would work for a while and then I would I would have like an hour off and then go to 24 Hour Fitness and work another long shift I'm eating my chicken and sweet potatoes now watching friends basically just waiting around until I start work at 3:30 I had no free time right and in my head it's like I almost feel guilty that I have the amount of free time that I do now but it's because of you guys so like it's this weird struggle that I've had to share with you guys my real life but at the same time not I don't want it to ever seem like I'm trying to brag or I'm trying to be like look at what I haven't shove it in your face but I have what I have because of you guys and I never want to not be honest I never want to not share with you guys my real life and that's what's happened this past year and it's been tearing me apart and I'm not sure if it's obvious but I've been wanting to make this video for a really long time and I just I honestly have been kind of scared not because mainly because I I wanted I just hope that what I'm trying to say is getting across and it makes sense because I get that this whole deal thing that I'm dealing with is probably kind of strange to most people and most people will never deal with this but this is my reality and this is what I've been struggling with so I guess the reason that I'm making the video I'm not trying to make it for sympathy I don't I don't need people to feel bad for me I guess I'm making it because I do want to change and I want to force myself to change by making this video I want I want people to understand when I do change why everything's going on again like it's important for me to continue making videos for people that are trying to lose weight and I feel like I can still make videos people that trying to lose weight when obviously I'm on a different part of my journey and who knows like that could be motivational to people right like you can go from losing a lot of weight to literally that being a part of your life that you never think about anymore and you can move on and move forward in your life and like that's what I want to show so that's why I made this video I really hope that you guys understand what I'm trying to say and I really hope that it comes across the way that I want it to come across this is seriously really important to me and something that I've been thinking about for a long time so I would love to hear what you guys think what you guys think I could do with the channel as far as like making weight loss video still and still showing my real life because that's something that I want to do I'd love to hear your thoughts on that and yeah if you've made it this far in the video basically just me venting I appreciate it and I really do appreciate you like seriously that's why I'm in this dilemma is because I appreciate you guys so much and I always want to be a good influence I always want to use my platform for positivity and really make the base impact that I can so that's why I'm in this mess right now but I'm okay I'm gonna stop rambling thank you guys so much for watching the video make sure you like comment and subscribe there's one other thing they don't want to say lookup of lamb all day the warning signs and when there are flashing lights or wig legs don't attempt to cross until they come to a complete stop [Music]

Channel: undefined

Views: 186,886

Rating: 4.701798 out of 5

Keywords: john glaude, weight loss, fat loss, the biggest loser, extreme weight loss, crossfit, honest

Id: b1wSnbSmJGA

Length: 14min 4sec (844 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 28 2018