It’s Also the Way You Say It - Hour of Power with Bobby Schuller

[Music] oh [Music] [Applause] is [Applause] this is the day the lord is made we will rejoice and be glad in it good morning hannah is out of town this week she is on a missionary trip actually with her brother sam in puerto rico so she felt called to go out there and pray for the sick so it's been a little bit of a busy week for dad it is not good that man should be alone that's what the bible says anyway i got like four more days but the kids are up here with us and uh with me anyway this is cohen and haven hi guys nice to see you and we're gonna have church you guys ready let's be open with the word of prayer father we thank you so much for all that you're doing in our lives and we ask in jesus name for an outpouring of your spirit we're gathering here to honor the name of jesus to say thank you for all that you've done and all that you're doing lord i pray for breakthrough in the lives of everyone who feels burdened or pressed down this morning they be lifted up and fully your spirit and we ask for in jesus name amen turn to the person next to you and say god loves you and so do i you are here [Music] you are here working in this place i worship you i worship you [Music] we make a miracle keeper light in the darkness my god that is [Music] it may look like i'm surrounded but i'm surrounded by you if they look like i'm surrounded but i'm surrounded [Music] this is this is how i find my battles this this is how i find my battles this is [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] and they look like i'm surrounded but i'm surrounded but i'm surrounded by you my god that is who you are proverbs 16 verse 21-24 the wise in heart are called discerning in gracious words promote instruction prudence is a fountain of life to the prudent but foley brings punishment to fools the heart of the wise makes their mouths prudent and their lips promote instruction gracious words are a honeycomb sweet to the soul inhaling to the bones we're so glad you joined us today on hour of power we're always hoping that when you watch this program you're inspired and you receive hope if ever there's a time when the world needs kindness it's right now we've all been through a lot in the past year and the turmoil we've witnessed has caused society to appear increasingly cold people are longing for a reminder that they matter and we have the awesome privilege of letting them know that they do here at our power we believe that kindness matters and if the world experiences the unbreakable and unshakable love of god it will be transformed that's why we're so passionate about sharing the good news with people and it's by making happy and whole students of jesus in every corner of the earth remains our mission as always we're committed to introducing millions more to our savior but it will be only possible with your continued help summer's historically been a pretty tough time financially not just for us but for every ministry and non-profit and this year really is no exception today we're looking for friends like you who will empower us to continue bringing this life-changing program to the whole world we serve a kindhearted and benevolent god and because he's been so good to us we want to passionately share his blessings with others but we can't do it without your help for your generous donation of 60 or more we'll send you the kindness matters gift set this two-piece set features a glass infuser water bottle embossed with a stunning floral motif and the phrase kindness matters on the outside and a stainless steel infuser on the inside fill it with coffee grounds loose-leaf tea a tea bag or fruit to create your favorite beverage your infuser is double walled to keep warm and cold liquids insulated longer and the bamboo lid is perfectly fitted to guard against leakage we'll also include a matching kindness matters rectangular glass plaque featuring a floral design and a bright navy blue background the stylized flowers pop in warm shades of coral green and yellow the weight and shape of the plaque allow it to stand alone without a base so it can be easily displayed in your home both items come packaged in sturdy coordinating gift boxes and our prayer is that they'll be a constant reminder to choose kindness so others can see jesus shining through you call write or go online and request the kindness matters gift set for your generous donation of 60 or more hannah and i are incredibly grateful for the way you uphold us your financial support provides the foundation we need to continue reaching our friends all around the world so thank you so much and remember as always god loves you and so do we michael w smith is a grammy and dove award-winning artist who has been creating music and performing for the last four decades in addition to having sold over 15 million albums he's an author who was written over a dozen books including his newest title the way of the father lessons from my dad truths about god this heartwarming book honors the legacy of his dad paul smith and reveals how he poured the love of his heavenly father on michael at the times he needed it most please welcome michael w smith hey there welcome so good to have you in the house thank you very much i really appreciate you having me on thanks well so many have loved your music but for those who are maybe new to the program or new to faith um maybe tell us a little bit about your journey and your music you know i grew up in west virginia uh grew up in little baptist church my mom was church secretary my dad was an oil refinery worker um sports was a big thing in our family but uh but also you know wrote my first song when i was five it was awful but the fact that i created something at five and then i could play beatles songs without any sheet music kind of astounded my mom and dad so uh grew up singing you know a lot of the youth musicals that were coming out back then tell it like it is natural high you know ralph carmichael that takes that takes me back a long way and then 15 years of age i felt like there was a call of god in my life to explore this world of music and didn't know how to get there didn't know what the rules were and found myself packing up an old beat up chevrolet and moving to nashville tennessee which was about six hours away from kenobo west virginia and that was 1978 and i never went back i mean i went back every three months to get some money i was pretty i was pretty poor back then uh and then two and a half years later met a girl named amy grant started writing songs for her aged age record and found myself on the road opening up for her and i guess i guess after 34 records the rest is history on some level wow you know art has not just been your music but your writing and i want to talk about this book that you have coming out called the way of the father where you're actually writing about your dad so tell us a little bit about that and how it connects to the faith journey yeah well my dad was the kind but my mom and dad are just which is simply amazing um my dad went to heaven in november of 15 um he had dementia and i still miss him terribly to this day he was the kind that bobby he was the kindest man that ever known in my life who happened to be my dad his glass was always half full he laughed and smiled every day he looked for the best in people he was my baseball coach all growing up and i refer a lot a lot of the stories are told in the book and and he was my biggest fan when i decided i didn't want to play for cincinnati reds that this music was going to be a part of my life and he kind of became my pr agent i think the only time i ever saw him get mad uh was when my songs didn't go number one he couldn't quite figure that out and and i would always tell him i said dad all my songs can't go number one and he would say things like well why not son you're the best and so he just affirmed me my whole life and you know i say this in the book i said i really do believe that that my dad showed me what god is like on many levels because he was kind he was patient and he was for me my whole life so i knew one day that i would write a book about him but when he when he got dementia in 2011 i started to really start to you know recollect all those stories and all those memories especially of us on the baseball field and um yeah so you know 2020 was a great time to write a book so uh but but it was the right timing and but i think what's beautiful about the book is that yeah there are these amazing funny hilarious heart you know heart-wrenching at times talking about my dad but um all these stories and it just sort of i kind of make a reference to a promise of god and sort of it paints a picture of who god is like you know so on in each chapter i do that so it was a joy to write and uh i'm really really happy with it it's just honoring my dad well it's a wonderful book you said in 2020 so you actually wrote it during 2020 when everything was shut down and everybody was cloistered around it must have been hard for you as a musician you're so used to shows and big events and touring and that's even like kind of an adrenaline rush i'm sure to get up in front of thousands of people and do these even though the worship things i mean a lot of them it just means an incredible electric energy to have that all kind of go away must have been super shocked for someone like you well it was a little bit but i found myself writing a lot of songs obviously writing a book but i found myself in the studio writing a lot i obviously found some great wonderful time to be with my family which i feel like i'm with them all the time anyway um but so i did i did this 13 weeks in a row i did sort of worship around the world that was a real joy for me to yeah sort of i would do these concerts in my living room or from the farm or from my studio and just kind of pour my life into people it it was the biggest shows i've ever done in my life there'd be a million people tuning in on that one event you know that's what i'm getting at if you would not you would have so instead of going to the big live venues like a honda center or something you're doing it you have this camera but you still have this massive was that it must have been a weird experience in a way to like not see as many of the people but to know like oh my gosh this is a huge audience yeah you knew they were watching and so you just kind of you know i pray through every one of those episodes i was just going god let me just be in the zone and you know these people are hurting and they're confused and you know they don't have a lot of answers there's a lot of people who don't have hope and they're kind of despair so lord let me say the right things let me sing the right things and it was all just about just reaffirming people that were you know what you're going to be okay we'll get through this and so i've gotten tremendous feedback i kind of wish i would have done it every weekend part of me wish i hadn't stopped yeah but obviously now things are kind of back in full swing and um it's nice to be back out on the road and of course it was out of a lot of that that you wrote this book about your dad and uh and i think it's such a gift to so many people what's the main takeaway that you think you really hope people read when they read the story about you and your father you really hope that like what's the big encouragement that you would hope people would take from this you know you know probably the jeremiah passage you know uh that we're all familiar with you know had plans for you to prosper you know i could i could name all kinds of promises of god that the book talks about but i would say it takes me back to a brennan manning quote i was a huge brennan manning fan and his writing but i remember one time and reminding my dad when he said you know god not only loves you but he actually really likes you and he's extremely fond of you and that sounds exactly like my dad and that sounds exactly like abba as well so that's the takeaway your dad's love is was so strong for you it was such a reflection of how god's love is for all of us even if we didn't have a good dad or maybe grew up without a dad that the whole time and and i refer to that too because there was a part of me when i wrote this book on there's going to be a lot of people out there that didn't have a good dad like my dad but i i have so many friends who had so many abusive childhoods and my mom being one of them who was abandoned when she was eight years old and her three younger siblings about my real grandmother who drove off and never came back and my mom turned to corner she just somehow she i think she had a real encounter with the lord and just decided that she that was not going to happen to her family and she's one of the most godliest women i've ever known and uh so there's a way out there's a way to let god father or mother you if you didn't have a very good childhood i know i know that beyond the shadow of adult the book is called the way of the father i really want to encourage you at home to get a copy of this book you'll be super encouraged uh thank you michael so much for joining us we really appreciate your story and your heart for the lord and continue to write great books and great music thank you very much appreciate it godspeed thank you sir god bless you thank you my heart to sing thy grace [Music] so praise the lord [Music] [Applause] [Music] is [Music] home [Music] is [Music] a stranger wandering [Music] is [Music] [Music] is [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] foreign [Applause] [Music] i [Music] [Applause] [Music] me [Music] [Music] is [Music] [Music] we're so glad you joined us today on hour of power we're always hoping that when you watch this program you're inspired and you receive hope if ever there's a time when the world needs kindness it's right now we've all been through a lot in the past year and the turmoil we've witnessed has caused society to appear increasingly cold people are longing for a reminder that they matter and we have the awesome privilege of letting them know that they do here at our power we believe that kindness matters and if the world experiences the unbreakable and unshakable love of god it will be transformed that's why we're so passionate about sharing the good news with people and it's why making happy and whole students of jesus and every corner of the earth remains our mission as always we're committed to introducing millions more to our savior but it will be only possible with your continued help summer's historically been a pretty tough time financially not just for us but for every ministry and non-profit and this year really is no exception today we're looking for friends like you who will empower us to continue bringing this life-changing program to the whole world we serve a kindhearted and benevolent god and because he's been so good to us we want to passionately share his blessings with others but we can't do it without your help for your generous donation of 60 or more we'll send you the kindness matters gift set this two-piece set features a glass infuser water bottle embossed with a stunning floral motif and the phrase kindness matters on the outside and a stainless steel infuser on the inside fill it with coffee grounds loose leaf tea a tea bag or fruit to create your favorite beverage your infuser is double walled to keep warm and cold liquids insulated longer and the bamboo lid is perfectly fitted to guard against leakage we'll also include a matching kindness matters rectangular glass plaque featuring a floral design and a bright navy blue background the stylized flowers pop in warm shades of coral green and yellow the weight and shape of the plaque allow it to stand alone without a base so it can be easily displayed in your home both items come packaged in sturdy coordinating gift boxes and our prayer is that they'll be a constant reminder to choose kindness so others can see jesus shining through you call write or go online and request the kindness matters gift set for your generous donation of 60 or more hannah and i are incredibly grateful for the way you uphold us your financial support provides the foundation we need to continue reaching our friends all around the world so thank you so much and remember as always god loves you and so do we would you stand with us we're going to say this creed together as we do every single week hold your hands out like this as a way of receiving let's say this together i'm not what i do i'm not what i have i'm not what people say about me i am the beloved of god it's who i am no one can take it from me i don't have to worry i don't have to hurry i can trust my friend jesus and share his love with the world thanks you can be seated today we're going to continue on talking about the value of words how words build others up and tear others down how words can build you up and tear you down peter drucker famously once said culture eats strategy for breakfast now of course he's talking about organizational culture but this is true in a family in a ministry in a business in a team that culture is the most important thing that will help you understand where your organization is going not your vision not your mission statement did you know that i remember sam chan saying something like this that everyone has a good vision everyone has a great mission statement i promise you if you find one of the worst organizations that you hate you hate going there you hate being a part of it they have a great vision i'm going to google it later but my guess is the dmv has an amazing vision but at the end of the day it's not the vision or even the mission that drives a group it's a culture and that is not something that is easily defined easily made or easily changed and so i want to lead off from where i left off last week and talking about words and that is the splashiness of words that you cannot use words on others without getting a little bit on yourself in the ancient world they used to always say that cursing someone like if you cast a spell on someone or cursed someone always came at the c at a cost and that cost was something was going to get on you too and even if it doesn't get on you you don't think it does and you lash out at someone i promise they're they're going to get you right back in some way or another and that is the weird thing about the splashiness of words well in the same way that that negative happens the positive happens too i promise you if you choose to go out of your way to encourage five people today you're you're gonna feel encouraged most of those people are gonna say something nice back to you you're gonna feel good as you're saying it the positivity in the air is just gonna go up there's something really splashy about words the splashy is the word i heard from my son it's not in the dictionary i don't believe but we're going to use it haven splashy words are splashy anyway when i went on humanitarian and missionary trips in high school and college there were always big big rules around words now when we're in america you got air conditioning and pizza and tv and a car it's it's you're not under the kind of pressures that you are when you're in you know a a non-developed world and you've you've got dysentery or that hamburger that you ate you know a week ago is looking delicious because that's what you get instead of deep fried grub worms and so what happens is when you go on these these trips as a westernized privileged american kind of person that's coming from a place like irvine and you go somewhere else to help people it's easy to become a krabby patty you know what i mean by that you and so here were some rules that were in place for our team and this was on every team i've ever been on we had some kind of rules like this number one rule was do not state the obvious if it's hot outside don't say it's hot outside if food doesn't taste good don't say the food doesn't taste good everybody knows that and when you say it out loud you can just feel everyone go oh it is hot outside we used to say these things like no dark humor i love dark humor just to be honest with you i love any kind of humor and i love dark i love bride i love it all but when you're on a missionary trip or when you're in a tough situation dark humor's not good you know and because of that we had repercussions for dark humor if you put someone down even jokingly they got to invert the joke by appealing to a law that was in place in every team i was ever on you just say aloud seven up seven up seven up means if someone said anything negative about you at all and you invoke seven up they now have to say seven real compliments about you this is especially good for men because men on missionaries especially teenage boys who are not men really love to put each other down and and they love even more to force their friend and then if the friend like does like a compliment but it's like a backhanded compliment you know you don't look as fat in that shirt for example you know you're not as ugly as you were yesterday they get to say seven up you gotta start all over again and believe it or not these rules helped so much uh in keeping the morale the the vision the culture of the team up that we're not here for us we're here to help hurting people who have it a lot worse than we do we're here to bring insulin we're here to bring eyeglasses we're here to bring the gospel we're here to help encourage children we're not here on a vacation it's not about me and you and the way that you get through that stuff is making sure that your team is using the right kind of language when you do that the value of the team stays up and it works in fact you notice because when the rules are broken it gets bad quickly i remember once when we were in thailand and we were on i don't even know what they're called they're three-wheeled like it looks like if someone took a bus like frank pym is a pen frank i don't pim the scientist from marvel ant-man turned a bus into like you know the size of like a camry but still got the same amount of people on it that's what it was like like a tiny little three wheel bus with like 15 people on it and we're all crammed it's like a million degrees outside and humid and it's so smoggy in bangkok you can see smoke everywhere and this this kid just kept being out loud super negative breaking all the rules just like oh it's hot here i can hardly breathe oh someone stinks ugh when are we gonna get there and you could feel like we got excited about i forget what it was you're doing but it was it was an important thing we were doing and you could just feel it go uh like and like and people kind of started nodding agreeing yeah and just the negativity on this bus just started to balloon and our project director who's the main main head guy who was well feral before will ferrell was will ferrell this was like when i was 16. it looked just like him tall curly hair hilarious guy got on the bus and he and he told this kid he was like i forget the kid's name it was like cut it out stop it you're bringing it everybody down and then there was like kind of a smirk about it and then made a couple of jokes and everybody laughed and it made everybody feel better interesting the other thing that we would do on these trips is at the end of every trip we affirmed every single person it was called a hot seat so every single person at the end to like celebrate would sit in the middle of a seat and everybody spontaneously would go around saying what they appreciate about that person what a gift that was one of the greatest to leave a trip and being affirmed by your colleagues was such an amazing thing you know when i always did that i always wanted to be like a great leader and every single trip i got in my hot seat i was always like bobby you were so funny you were so hilarious and i believe or not hated that and so the last trip i did in panama i was like i'm not gonna be the funny guy in this trip i'm gonna be a real leader i'm gonna cast vision i'm gonna discipline i'm gonna bring down the law i'm gonna institute some things you know what i mean it's time to institute and at the end of the hot seat finally when people were going around it was bobby you were so funny on this trip you were hilarious so you know i just learned to own that and just incorporate it into my leadership style because actually the will pharaoh of will ferrell's was able to bring up the mood on the trip with one one simple joke and uh and it helped okay so the main thing i'm getting across to you is the power of words in a team power of words in an organization and the ability that words have to create culture in a group in your family that just remember whenever whatever words you're saying out loud in a group of people is is affecting the culture it's either reinforcing the culture in a in a way or it is shifting the culture in a way and that's why words are very very important in whatever group that you're in it's going to dictate your actions it's going to it's going to dictate morale it's going to cause people to leave that you don't want to be there or people you do want to be there it's going to cause people to come you don't want to be there or that you do want to be there you see the words are going to be constantly changing so pay attention to what you're saying in your team whether you're a leader follower doesn't matter you're going to have an impact that brings me to this reflection i want to show you that is one of the main big arcs in the bible there are little arcs but there's a big big arc and it begins with a tower of babel you know the story of the tower of babel goes something like this that after the fall in the garden mankind becomes more and more evil [Music] the abuse of children the raising up of altars war and finally as it goes in in genesis 11 after the flood you know god like basically does a re-roll with humanity is like we need to start this whole thing over with a really good group of people with with uh noah's family and it and of course it's just as bad as it was before just as murders and so this one language nation begins to build a tower that they want to reach heaven and it's working well it's going fast it's amazing looking and it's reaching heaven and the talmud actually says it and says in the bible but that that at the top of the tower they wanted to place a sword so that it was like they were literally stabbing god or that they were at war with god so there was a the story in a way of understanding that there was a unified opposition towards god and that this tower was to get as close to god as they could to effectively just be like you know to stab him right and so god in seeing this happen the first weird thing that you think is like well why does god feel threatened by that you know heaven isn't in the sky and god can't be stabbed so is god threatened probably not i you know as a christian i view this story through the lens of god's love that god loves these people too much to allow them to constantly be in a state of hatred rebellion whatever you want to call it and and so the the curse or the punishment or whatever you want to call it you know what you remember what it is he gives them all different languages so that they can no longer talk to one another and now that they can no longer talk to one another the right way they can no longer be unified and this is an ancient way of understanding why the world is in conflict all the time is because these different nation states it's not that they actually hate each other it's not that they actually have borders or weapons or whatever rod and by the way it is those things but the ancient way of understanding is they just don't speak the same language they still speak the same language and that inability to talk to one another is the very thing that even to this day according to this ancient understanding that's the main thing that keeps war and fighting and disunity that's what keeps it in place and you can see why a bronze age ancient person would see the world in this way first of all there's an incredible power in unity isn't there i mean we all know that when you you're when you're united it's an it's an incredible thing one of my favorite times in this country it sounds favorite times but an amazing time i think it's the only time i've seen this was the worst time in my life in american history was 9 11. but do you remember there were months after 9 11 where there was no democrat or republican or any of that it was just everybody was like we're going to love each other support each other there was just something really good in the air and you could and looking back at that moment what you know that or any kind of team maybe you had a moment or in your country or in your culture or whatever a moment where there was like just an incredible amount of unity where everybody just put everything all their differences aside and were just totally unified it's just an amazing at the very it's not always good but it but it's an amazing power an amazing power jengas khan the pro maybe the most evil person ever live certainly he's in the top 10 choir top 10. i'll make a top 10 list for you later hitler's on there anyway jake is khan obviously but a genius when it came to conquest and military and of course he employed parthian tactics which were these ancient iranian horse archer tactics eurasian norse archers stuff to break up armies but his whole thing was you've you've got to break up your opposition and then kill them if they're unified don't fight them you got to get them to either fight each other or break them up and then i'm sure it's apocryphal speech to his sons he took a bunch of arrows and he said when i die you stick together if you stick together you can't break you and he like tried to break the bundle of arrows but if you split up this is what will happen to you just goes bam bam bam bam to the arrows we know that right that there's something about that power that if if a group is broken up and in fighting they're easy to conquer but if they're unified you can't it's very hard to to defeat them and so one way that this is accomplished in ancient understanding is uh language that's why esperanto came into being you guys know what esperanto is i totally forgot about this until my daughter was showing me a language app what's that language app duolingo is that what it is with the bird fun app if you want to learn a language check out duolingo it's free and they included in one of the languages you can learn esperanto and i was like esperanto so esperanto was a language created by a genius idea i think in many ways it was as smart as it was stupid actually maybe a better way of saying it an ophthalmologist i think a polish ophthalmologist felt that the world you know everybody's always putting so much effort into studying other languages when they travel especially in a place like europe i'm not a not a large continent it's like a someone called europe a peninsula made of peninsulas anyway but you know when you think about how the united states and europe are relatively the same size you know but in europe there's all these languages and you want to travel and and even in his day you know only if i think a fifth of french people spoke french so anyway his whole idea was what if there was a second language we all just agreed that we were gonna learn and that would be the language that we would communicate to each other and his whole idea was if i can do this i will achieve world peace and you kind of have to you you kind of have to love a heart like that you know and an observation that even though uh you know it didn't work out for him it's just kind of an interesting dr zamenhof's little did he know that that achievement would happen only about 100 years later because of a town that's about 30 miles from here called hollywood now everybody almost everybody learns english as their second language and it's a useful you know english is unique in that i think it's the first and only language to have more people speak it that are not native speakers than those that are native so there are 1.5 billion english speakers and only 300 million or 300 400 million of them speak english natively isn't that interesting and so that's because of i think you know hollywood not only is everybody learning english they're learning it with a california accent which is amazing as a californian i remember being in israel and i was talking to this bus driver who spoke hebrew natively you know and he said i asked him how did he go you know i learned to speak english i said how he's like i learned it from oh what was that show the the military comedy show mash i learned it from watching mesh he would just watch mash and he learned english from tv i'm sure he's pretty smart anyway and and you can also see so you understand this esperanto thing you can you can see too like if you ever travel just learning a little bit of that nation's language goes so far even if you're an english speaker and most the people there speak english if you learn some of their languages make a little effort just watch how far it goes one of my biggest surprises ever is that french people are nice i uh when the first time i went to paris i was so nervous because i had heard from so many americans that the parisians and the french are rude they're not rude they're like new yorkers they're just busy and what i what i sorted out was that very often americans would go to paris and never learn any french never even think about what is the culture in paris so if you go into a bakery in paris the owner of the shop who's very proud of their shop will in a very polite way say to anyone who comes into their shop bonjour good morning and every frenchman or french woman who walks in will say bonjour bonjour you know any everybody germans will do that dutch will do that right everybody does that except americans if you go into target today someone's going to go morning and what are you going to do you're going to grab your car you're not going to say anything and so when we go into our patisserie in paris and bonjour i was like it's rude you know it's like super rude and so this is this is what i'm getting at uh this is what i'm getting at is that language language is such a bridge builder and what we lose sometimes in our value of communication is that even within english there's a way of communicating a language our language that that when we talk to each other just because we're speaking english that does not there is a right way to speak to someone and a wrong way to speak to someone you know this because of text messages if you try and work out something emotional in a text message you're just there's a way of saying stuff that you're like i better write ha-ha at the end of this text or they're not going to know that that's a joke so this is important because if you want to build your team if you want to build up others as god has called us to if you want to really love people and i don't i don't mean like just feel good things for them you really want to love them you got to learn how to talk to people in a way that's loving talk to people in a way that's encouraging forgiving gracious and kind hey didn't haven't do a great job reading proverbs thanks for doing that haven good job [Applause] really the bible says in proverbs the wise in heart are called discerning and gracious words forgiving words beautiful words grace promote instruction prudence is a fountain of life to the prudent but folly brings punishment to fools remember in proverbs the fool is almost always a reflection of a person of the way that they talk in foolish ways the heart of the wise make their mouths prudent and their lips promote instruction and then i just love this last part gracious words are a honeycomb sweet to the soul and healing to the bones this is why jesus has some of his strongest rebukes for when you say which is a term of contempt to be like cussing someone out or if you say you fool that when you tear someone down he's like he says it's almost like you have the heart of a murderer it's it's not that you want to murder them necessarily as bobby talking now but that you wouldn't mind if they died you don't care about them you're done with them you're over it you're over them and you want in the strongest way possible for them to feel some kind of pain because you know whatever whatever thing it was by the way if we decide to invent a new cuss word in in esperanto it should be a rock cut because that's you have to do it in the back so that's only cool people can do it as children we internalize the words of our parents or parental figures or the people that raise us this is why especially what you say to children even children that are strangers because as an adult they're going to look up to you is so important when a father tells a daughter she's beautiful when a mother tells a son that he loves her vice versa when parents aunts uncles grandparents say affirming words even after those parental figures or parents are gone their love or contempt remains in the child's heart so that if you neglect to say good things or you say negative things that child will have a lot of work as an adult to overcome those pains and insecurities or when you you know affirm your child love your child there's a lot of science to support this affirm them with words there's an inner strength that they have that a part of you remains inside the body of that child who's now an adult long after you die that the internalized words remain there and so what happens is you will find that with every adult you meet there are certain there are certain burns that burn more than others there are certain compliments that lift up more than others and a big part of loving people that you love especially people closest to you is understanding what those are in psychology we understand pain not to be single events i say we i'm not a psychologist but i understand this to be true that pain is like a web where it's if you touch one part of a painful thing in a person's life the whole thing shakes so you'll find that there are certain people who are really sensitive about some things and not about others don't judge people for this learn to to work into them compliments or affirmations where they need it in this way a lot of people need that final word okay ninety percent of what you say to people is tone all right tone listen to me guys i learned this from my grandpa pursley who is a linguist spanish teacher for a long time when a baby is learning a language the first thing they learn is not words but tone that's why gugu gaga in america sounds different than goo gaga in thailand or nepal babies when they're learning they're learning uh means like what's that or means i'm not gonna do that right you can hear it in english now if you're watching this in mandarin you have no idea what i just said that's because like like my grandpa was teaching me spanish he was teaching me the tone first so for example he he said that when you ask for salt in spanish if you see it with an english tone pasta like that's how you can add the salt please it sounds he said sounds feminine and weird and it says like when you ask for salt you say you go down in the tone so this is what he was teaching me in order to speak so that the tone is the first thing you learn and this doesn't go away as an adult the tone the tone is so so much more important actually believe it and you're if you're in a conflict you're trying to be smoke on bees or work something out on a team the tone is really important i remember russ telling me like when a situation was really bad back when there were fires and a lot of dramas he would he would always want me to go into that and i didn't always want to do because he always said i was smoke on bees and you know what the secret is to be smoke on bees to to bring a temperature down in the room it is tone it's not words a lot of people are thinking about what am i going to say what am i going to say and i always think what do i want them to feel in my words what i want people to feel do i want them to hear in my tone compassion understanding i'm listening to you i hear you and this is such a great way such a better way uh to communicate tone think about that when you go to your girlfriend and you say are you all right and she's like i'm fine she is not fine okay she's not fine here you go you go to your husband are you fine i'm fine he needs a cookie he's hungry all right okay we all know so final words just build people up man just build people up build people up don't be known for the tell it like it is don't be that guy that gal don't gossip don't lie don't say out loud bad things about other people especially when they're just build people up and it will it will begin to guide your life compliment people encourage people if you're inspired by someone if if someone does something that's impressive to you tell them it's impressive it's a great way to meet people say thank you when someone does something nice for you even if they're supposed to say it i know that i say that all the time and and also friends build yourself up it's okay to look in the mirror and encourage yourself you think i haven't done that before you think i haven't been running up a hill thinking i'm gonna die and just saying this is your hill bobby this is your hill you can get up this hill you think i haven't looked at a bill when we were broke and said bobby you can find a way to pay this you think i didn't look at a door of a children's hospital for the 50th time there excuse me there are times you have to look in the mirror and you have to say you can do this there are times when you have to say out lied out loud i am a good father i am a good mother i am a good friend i am a good musician leader christian if you're running up the hill and you say i'm tired guess what you're going to feel if you're looking at the hospital door and you say i can't do this anymore what are you going to feel if you're looking at your bills you say i can't pay this if you're looking at a friend you need to make amends with and you say i can't do this what are you going to feel say over yourself who you want to be say the words out loud of where you want to go and that is exactly where you will get it's okay to build yourself up we all got to do it sometimes amen all right let's pray father we thank you so much for all that you've done for us and we pray in jesus name lord that your holy spirit would show us the kind of words that we need and can say to each other lord my heart and all of our hearts we're broken about how our country has been treating one another how people are treating one another i believe that it's in large part because of words and tone and so lord i pray that you put deep in our hearts a sense of love for each other and just grace that we would go easy on one another help his father to use the kind of words that you would use on us words like i'm proud of you i'm thankful for you i forgive you i love you we thank you lord you love us it's in jesus name we pray amen [Music] hi friend have you subscribed to our channel yet if not then i hope you will our power is filled with uplifting content to nourish your spirit and help you grow closer to jesus we've created this channel to remind you that no matter who you are or what you've done god loves you and so do we

Channel: Hour of Power with Bobby Schuller

Views: 9,419

Keywords: Bobby Schuller, Bobby Schuller Sermon, Inspiration, Encouragement, Choir Music, Worship Music, Michael W. Smith, Sarah Grandpre, Connor Smith

Id: pf-4dfouW4M

Length: 57min 32sec (3452 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 31 2021